Religious philosophy, succinctly explained : Pharyngula

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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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The doctrine that the earth is neither the center of the universe nor immovable, but moves even with a daily rotation, is absurd, and both philosophically and theologically false, and at the least an error of faith.

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« Uh-oh. Registration required. | Main | Need a purgative? »

Religious philosophy, succinctly explained

Category: Humor • Religion
Posted on: September 20, 2009 10:32 PM, by PZ Myers

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Comments

Posted by: LRA | September 20, 2009 10:37 PM

Ew.

Posted by: gyeong-hwa | September 20, 2009 10:40 PM

Oh the sexual innuendoes that can come out of this. :)

Posted by: MyOwnGod | September 20, 2009 10:42 PM

Is this a following of Mary of Magdelene back when she was a working girl? Move over, choirboys, you have competition!!

Posted by: AZ Writer (Kim Hosey) | September 20, 2009 10:43 PM

I almost think this had to be intentional. I mean, I've heard the first part (even the phrase "feed and lead), but ... swallow? I guess it's just a very unfortunate attempt at parallel construction, but still. Ew.

Posted by: Fil | September 20, 2009 10:44 PM

You do realise PZ, that Pastafarians swallow too...

Posted by: Peter G. | September 20, 2009 10:44 PM

Fervently. On their knees. Just the way the Pastors like it.

Posted by: Bobber | September 20, 2009 10:49 PM

Ahahahahahahahaha!

Calling Dr. Freud... Dr. Freud... another slip!

Posted by: Peter G. | September 20, 2009 10:54 PM

Gotta give Peake credit. He's upfront about who pitches and who catches.

Posted by: Killua | September 20, 2009 10:58 PM

Ah... I can't stop giggling at this.

I have a dirty mind indeed ^_^

>.> inb4 catholic priest joke

#10

Posted by: alopiasmag | September 20, 2009 11:00 PM

Wow....this pastor is a grade "A" nimrod.

#11

Posted by: Killua | September 20, 2009 11:05 PM

GOD DAMNIT MyOwnGod YOU FUCKED ME OVER!

... >.> I thought I could have been lucky enough to post before that joke was made but noooo 16 minutes too late.

#12

Posted by: Sgt. Obvious | September 20, 2009 11:30 PM

Ah, but the real question... How many members of this church are teabaggers?

#13

Posted by: Zeno | September 20, 2009 11:58 PM

I think kneeling is involved, too. They left that out.

#14

Posted by: JHS | September 21, 2009 12:00 AM

so...."seek the facial of god evermore"?

#15

Posted by: MartinDH | September 21, 2009 12:09 AM

Do some of the members spit and split?

#16

Posted by: Mozglubov | September 21, 2009 12:13 AM

@Sgt. Obvious #12

Well done, well done indeed.

#17

Posted by: Janine, Vile Bitch, OM | September 21, 2009 12:25 AM

Those people need a more varied diet than what is being given to them by the pastor.

#18

Posted by: Pareidolius | September 21, 2009 12:27 AM

Good teabaggers always swallow everything they're fed.

#19

Posted by: Charlie Foxtrot | September 21, 2009 12:27 AM

#20

Posted by: Charlie Foxtrot | September 21, 2009 12:34 AM

[...obligitory Snowballing reference goes here...]

#21

Posted by: Feynmaniac | September 21, 2009 12:36 AM

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f72CTDe4-0

#22

Posted by: Aquaria | September 21, 2009 1:13 AM

Oh dear. This is almost as good as the Church's Fried Chicken here that displays on its marquee, "Drive Thru Legs & Thighs,"

At least the Subway shop just past it had the sense to remove the sign that said, "Now Hiring $5 Footlongs." I feel sorry for the clerks who had to endure all the jerks coming in and offering up their imaginary footlongs for hire.

Anyway, I don't know about anyone else, but I'd never trust a business that would put someone that clueless in charge.

#23

Posted by: Alexander the Good Enough | September 21, 2009 1:58 AM

Mean people suck. Nice people...um...follow?

#24

Posted by: Hideki | September 21, 2009 1:58 AM

Test -.o

Watch out Pharynugla, your days are numbered!

#25

Posted by: ryk | September 21, 2009 2:37 AM

srsly? this is why anyone posting something that will be visible to large numbers of people, should run it by at least one kid in the highschool-college age range.

#26

Posted by: Siwoti | September 21, 2009 2:41 AM

Someone please tell me that this is a lame anagram generated by someone using letters that formerly spelt out something less... icky.

Someone?

#27

Posted by: druidbros | September 21, 2009 4:09 AM

Two things...
1- I hope they pass out kneepads
2- At least they are up front about it, unlike the Catholicks.

#28

Posted by: jt512 | September 21, 2009 4:37 AM

That slogan sucks!

#29

Posted by: BobbyEarle | September 21, 2009 5:50 AM

You don't want to be in the first few pews at this church.

Just like at a Gallagher show.

#30

Posted by: JeffThinks | September 21, 2009 6:04 AM

Obvious innuendo aside, this follow your spiritual leader without question mentality is very dangerous. To be so upfront about it is disgusting.

#31

Posted by: Jparenti | September 21, 2009 6:22 AM

I didn't know what was worse, the sexual innuendo or the blatant admission that they are discouraging individual thought.

#32

Posted by: Ray Moscow | September 21, 2009 6:44 AM

This is my new picture of the week (maybe month!).

#33

Posted by: Ray Moscow | September 21, 2009 6:49 AM

Apparently the first bit is a paraphrase of Jeremiah 3:15.

I would not be surprised if the second bit was a Freudian slip instead of some clever kids messing about with the sign. Either way, it's pretty funny.

#34

Posted by: anidaadler.wordpress.com | September 21, 2009 7:17 AM

Omg, Martin #15, you read my mind. Now to get this coffee off my keyboard...

#35

Posted by: AlgaeGirl | September 21, 2009 8:44 AM

Thanks Feynmaniac for the Tom Lehrer reference! Totally made my morning!

#36

Posted by: DLC | September 21, 2009 9:02 AM

Pastors feed their (choke) flock a diet suitable for mushrooms. you know.. keep em in the dark and feed em a steady diet of BS.

#37

Posted by: Alyson Miers | September 21, 2009 9:11 AM

Are we quite sure this wasn't a prank?

One time the Baptist church near my parents' house had their sign up with:

"CH__CH

What's missing?"

I think that if churches did more of that corny, but innocuous punnage, we'd have less of the hilarity of Swallow & Follow.

#38

Posted by: Andreas Johansson | September 21, 2009 9:12 AM

Someone please tell me that this is a lame anagram generated by someone using letters that formerly spelt out something less... icky.
Someone?

I expect it's the output of one of the many church sign generators available on the 'Net. A brief google doesn't find one with that particular background, but there's silly number of the things around.

#39

Posted by: Louis | September 21, 2009 9:27 AM

I would comment on this post but my head has exploded due to too many sophomoric knob jokes being created by my brain.

Normal (dis)service will be resumed when I have collected all the bits of my cranium from around the office. I thought they weren't meant to make it this obvious? Aren't they meant to hide this stuff behind mysterious language and appeals to various prejudices?

Louis

#40

Posted by: Aquaria | September 21, 2009 9:31 AM

I promise that this isn't kids messing with the sign. I live a few blocks from a high school that delights in changing signs like these; the vet's office was a treasure trove for them. Of course, when it does stupid things like put "Found: Two Black Cockers," it was begging for the kids to mess with it!

#41

Posted by: PZ Myers | September 21, 2009 9:38 AM

"CH__CH What's missing?"

Do they really expect Cheech Marin to show up on Sunday?

#42

Posted by: Richard Eis | September 21, 2009 9:56 AM

They won't get their quiverfuls following that message ;p

Or perhaps this is their attempt at birth control.

#43

Posted by: lordshipmayhem | September 21, 2009 10:06 AM

Druidbros #29:

At least they are up front about it, unlike the Catholicks.

Is that yet another Freudian slip, in a whole thread? (Or should that be "slipway" instead of "thread"?)

Local church had this on their sign during an all-too-rare heatwave this summer: "We Are Prayer Conditioned"

#44

Posted by: damnedyankee | September 21, 2009 10:22 AM

Andreas Johansson @ #38: Is that the church sign equivalent of saying it's Photoshopped ("you can tell by the pixels")?

One I saw around town: "In the Days of Our Lives, we are the Guiding Light for the Young and the Restless." I guess that's called "knowing your audience."

#45

Posted by: Kausik Datta | September 21, 2009 10:25 AM

Local church yesterday had this:
WHEN YOU ARE ZERO, HE IS THE ONE

Couldn't help laugh at the gratuitous, possibly unintended, geekiness of that!

#46

Posted by: Ray Moscow | September 21, 2009 10:30 AM

This one doesn't seem to be one of the usual "church sign" generator templates: http://www.says-it.com/churchsigns/

I think it's probably real, but photoshop is always a possibility.

#47

Posted by: Die Anyway | September 21, 2009 10:48 AM

The sign is funny but what the hell is it about the English language that feed rhymes with lead and swallow rhymes with follow. It should be feed/leed & swollow/follow... shouldn't it? (I mean logically, not dictionary-wise). I'm usually one of those grammar-nazis that everyone hates but really, English spelling is so messed up.

#48

Posted by: sasqwatch | September 21, 2009 10:49 AM

I always found religion to be a tough thing to swallow. Now I know why.

#49

Posted by: Glen Davidson | September 21, 2009 10:51 AM

So how does that overlap with the scientific magisterium?

Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p

#50

Posted by: Epikt | September 21, 2009 11:19 AM

JHS:

so...."seek the facial of god evermore"?

I think it's called a "faithial."

#51

Posted by: Eupraxsopher | September 21, 2009 11:38 AM

Pastors feel, members kneel.

#52

Posted by: Donnie B. | September 21, 2009 12:19 PM

Epikt @50 for the win.

Now I'm imagining Peter Cook as the Impressive Clergyman from "The Princess Bride" saying that.

#53

Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | September 21, 2009 1:53 PM

This one doesn't seem to be one of the usual "church sign" generator templates: http://www.says-it.com/churchsigns/
I think it's probably real, but photoshop is always a possibility.

It's real. I sent it to PZ. I sort of "know" the person who took the picture. There are other shots of the sign from different angles.

#54

Posted by: Mozglubov | September 21, 2009 10:21 PM

@53 Rev. BigDumbChimp

I sort of "know" the person who took the picture.

Are the quotation marks to indicate the biblical sense of the word?

#55

Posted by: Dax | September 21, 2009 10:30 PM

There's got to be a cracker joke in there somewhere.Maybe a type of cloudberry spread

#56

Posted by: Andreas Johansson | September 22, 2009 4:02 AM

Andreas Johansson @ #38: Is that the church sign equivalent of saying it's Photoshopped ("you can tell by the pixels")?

Not really - I'm inclined to think it's fake simply because similar fakes are legion. I don't claim to be able to tell it's fake from the image itself.

If the photos from other angles the anthropoid Reverend mentions materialize, I'll be happy to accept it as in all probability real.

#57

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/hJeDz7cKrZCSZ4w1o0_HdUUCnvxE.7eDJGFlWxG4#d73a1 | September 22, 2009 5:28 PM

I'm so glad you guys are getting a kick out of my photo. It's fun reading these comments - some are hilarious.

For the record, the image is real. I spotted it while returning from a kayaking trip in Union County, South Carolina last Sunday. I couldn't believe someone would actually put that up there. I don't know anything about the church, but I nearly wrecked my truck turning around to get a shot of the sign. Here's another view of it...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/randomconnections/3939551672/

Enjoy!

(And unless I was really, really, REALLY drunk at the time, Rev. BigDumbChimp has no "biblical knowledge.)

#58

Posted by: Andreas Johansson | September 22, 2009 5:39 PM

Fair enough, it appears to be real. The corollary to Poe's Law strikes again.

#59

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/hJeDz7cKrZCSZ4w1o0_HdUUCnvxE.7eDJGFlWxG4#d73a1 | September 22, 2009 7:03 PM

No problem, Andreas. I was thinking Poe's Law when I posted it on Flickr. Unfortunately, sometimes the real thing is scarier than fakes.

Here is another one that caught my eye. These signs can really reveal what happens in a church.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/randomconnections/3579377481/

Then there's this one, which gives a good assessment of the pastor's preaching ability...