…and this is a 
There is an utterly ludicrous evangelical 'course' which has been advertising in England by slapping big ol' polls on the wall. Like this one:
As is, those boxes are blank…but man, they're just begging to be filled in, and a lot of people can't resist walking up to them and marking the right answer. Unfortunately, the transit police are then arresting them.
There's a metaphor there. Looking at this Alpha Course, what I see is a narrow evangelical game that pretends to be an open arena for skeptical inquiry, but is actually nothing of the kind. Their ads are full of questions that by their very nature reveal that they expect certain kinds of answers, answers that only verify the dogma of Christianity. Look what they go on about:
Who is Jesus?
Why did Jesus die?
How can we have faith?
Why and how do I pray?
Why and how should I read the Bible?
How does God guide us?
How can I resist evil?
Why & how should we tell others?
Does God heal today?
What about the Church?
Who is the Holy Spirit?
What does the Holy Spirit do?
How can I be filled with the Holy Spirit?
How can I make the most of the rest of my life?
But it seems to me that if your answer to the basic question of whether there is a god is "no", it's silly to go on to make assumptions about the divinity of Jesus, or babble about prayer, or talk about mysterious magical entities like the Holy Spirit.
You know what they're doing. Answer any question with reason, or an expectation of evidence, anything but blind affirmation, and they will lock you up. It's how religion works.
Comments
Posted by: Ray Moscow
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October 6, 2009 9:56 AM
Yeah, there's an Alpha Course poster near my office which got the same treatment. Pretty funny.
Stephen Butterfield's review of the course is great: http://alphacoursereview.wordpress.com/2008/09/09/week-1a-introduction/
Posted by: Roameo
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October 6, 2009 10:01 AM
wow. what a draconian response for simply interacting with a bit of marketing, in exactly the way it was intended to be treated. I got caught postering a police station once and got off with a warning. used to think it was funny, now it just seems unfair.
Posted by: SEF
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October 6, 2009 10:03 AM
That looks like the review link I was thinking of posting. :-D
People really shouldn't post ticky-boxes (as some LiveJournal inhabitants are wont to call them) if they don't want people filling them in. It seems to be something of a compulsion in some circles.
Posted by: The Science Pundit
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October 6, 2009 10:03 AM
I'd be curious to see how often people are arrested for defacing other kinds of advertisements. For example, are people routinely arrested for drawing fake mustaches on faces in ads? I suspect that atheists aren't being singled out for filling out these silly forms, but who knows.
Posted by: Beige
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October 6, 2009 10:06 AM
Haha, they threw them through the doors of houses on my campus at university.
I heard a few people moaning that they didn't at least offer a "probably not" option, the only other response to them I've noticed is that they burn well.
I never did like the Alpha Course, good for the person taking some action!
Posted by: OneWingedAniki
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October 6, 2009 10:09 AM
Very simple answers are all that's necessary for such a list:
- Who is Jesus? > My gardener
- Why did Jesus die? > Tripped on a rake for an entire day
- How can we have faith? > Hope the new gardener doesn't suck
- Why and how do I pray? > You pray because you're selfish, just like the rest of us. Most people do their best praying during intercourse "Oh god, oh god, oh please don't make me blow early, oh god, oh god...."
- Why and how should I read the Bible? > For a chuckle. Most people read with their eyes but some use their fingers
- How does God guide us? > Mapquest & GPS
- How can I resist evil? > Get some +5 armor and a loaded d20
- Why & how should we tell others? > Screw 'em, they can buy their own d20s if they're so inclined...
- Does God heal today? > Nah, can't be bothered. He's too busy putting up with BS "prayers"
- What about the Church? > Too busy raping the alterboys
- Who is the Holy Spirit? > Someone the Ghostbusters "Left Behind"
- What does the Holy Spirit do? > Drinks beer and beats his wife
- How can I be filled with the Holy Spirit? > I hear the intravenous method works wonders
- How can I make the most of the rest of my life? > Stop with the bogus spiritual nonsense and stop taking life for granted
Posted by: AJ Milne OM
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October 6, 2009 10:11 AM
... Edits to follow:
Is there a god?
_ Yes
_ No
_ Probably
_ Really, probably not.
X What do you think we are, stupid?
Oh... and in related news, I kept getting the accursed broken login form. If you're just joining us at home, one reliable fix I've found--and the one I just used to login just now--is:
1. View the source of the login form.
2. Copy everything between the <form> tags (including them), paste that to a blank text doc.
3. Change the action="/mt-comments.fcgi" thing in the first <form> tag to action="http://scienceblogs.com/mt/comments".
4. Add a <html><body> before the form tags, </body></html> after.
5. Save that doc with a name ending in .html .
6. Open that doc in your browser.
7. Log in from there.
Source of your edited doc should look like:
<html>
<body>
<form method="post" action="http://scienceblogs.com/mt/comments">
... stuff between the form tags ...
</form>
</body>
</html>
(/8. Kvetch about it in the comments threads until the IT department is shamed into fixing it so we don't have to deal with this anymore.)
Posted by: Fred The Hun
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October 6, 2009 10:19 AM
I can deal with no god but having to deal with modifying html source code just so I can login to make comments is just a tad much. hey! maybe there's no IT department either. So can I now call myself an A IT ist?
Posted by: AJ Milne OM
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October 6, 2009 10:29 AM
I'm not sure I should cheer at that or boo...
But either way, the point is pretty good. Not seein' a lot of evidence here, either...
Posted by: SEF
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October 6, 2009 10:34 AM
People using MovableType can skip the whole form thing and just email themselves a clickable link to use. Just copy the following text into an email, edit it to have your own account name (for "NAME") and password (for "PWD") and then send it to yourself so that you've always got the link on hand in your inbox:
http://scienceblogs.com/mt/comments?__mode=do_login&blog_id=7&entry_id=133201&username=NAME&password=PWD
NB You'll have to navigate to the pharyngula home page or other threads once you're logged in.
Posted by: eddie
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October 6, 2009 10:35 AM
TypePad claims I'm logged in, but my last comment was held in moderation, with no links in it.
Posted by: SEF
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October 6, 2009 10:42 AM
@ eddie #11:
You may have used a banned word, as PZ explains here. PZ's filters are somewhat intelligently designed, to keep out some of the worst of the nutters, rather than being simplistically based on allegedly rude words.
Posted by: Masks of Eris
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October 6, 2009 10:54 AM
Mmm. Easy questions.
Please use the imperfect, cessation of life functions does that to you, by not knowing, probably because there's nothing on TV, like a Dan Brown novel, MU, by becoming a mirror of you, "Piss off" works fine, MU, yeah what about it?, a fiction, dispense offendedness I guess, there's hose for it in Brighton, well a doctorate of mathematics I'd say.
Posted by: Mr Ash
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October 6, 2009 11:05 AM
I remember seeing a documentary on this some years ago, and though I can't remember all the details, one of their arguments was we know Jesus was real because Josephus wrote about him (no critical evaluation of that quote) and then on to the Lord,lunatic liar argument to show he was God
Posted by: Raldo
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October 6, 2009 11:16 AM
There were two of these Alpha course adverts near my house recently. They lasted a few weeks until they were 'vandalised' (no, it's not a rhetorical question) and then taken down. Fair play to the committed atheists, they needed to use a ladder to reach it.
One of the ads was opposite a christian missionary centre (formerly my bloody gym, damn recession) and the 'vandals' had specifically targeted their answer at them.
Posted by: Dreamer
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October 6, 2009 11:37 AM
@#7, is THAT what was wrong? I thought PZ just didn't like me!
While I find the vandalism amusing and agree with the vandal's response, it's still vandalism. Arresting someone for vandalizing a paid advertisement isn't religious persecution.
I'd bet the vandal used a permanent marker, meaning that the plexiglas poster cover will have to be replaced at the transit authority's expense. That is, the taxpayers' expense. Hurray for free expression!
As for the Alpha Course, the questions look like the AFA's push polls at "onenewsnow". They promote a question about support of gay marriage, for example, which turns out to be, "Why should gay marriage be punished by a slow, torturous death? a. God said so; b. It's icky; or c. Regular marriage was good enough for my grandpa and it's good enough for me."
Maybe we need a Beta Course or an Omega Course to teach critical thinking . . .
Posted by: mikecbraun
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October 6, 2009 11:45 AM
Reminds me of the God-botherers I was acquainted with while I lived in Russia. I went to one of their talks entitled, "Is God There? Does He Care?" Needless to say, I should not have been surprised that they were just begging the question and the first part was already answered. They didn't seem to appreciate me pointing that out... They were trying to convert Russians, but all of the Russians there (my friends) were in it for English practice and free snacks and beverages.
Posted by: schismtracer
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October 6, 2009 11:55 AM
Okay, I'll bite.
Who is Jesus?
A man or amalgamation of men who challenged the doctrine of the day and was executed for it. Not uncommon at the time, I understand.
Why did Jesus die?
He torqued off the Pharisees. Or the Romans. Or both. Or a random mob, who knows.
How can we have faith?
By continuing to believe things that logic and experience tells us aren't true.
Why and how do I pray?
How? By talking to yourself while insisting that some magical being is paying attention. Why? To make yourself feel better by believing you have the power to affect things you actually can't.
Why and how should I read the Bible?
Why? It is an interesting series of snapshots of an ancient society. Knowing our history, specifically the successes and mistakes made, can be useful even long after we've progressed. How? Well, if you have to ask, you're probably illiterate and won't be reading it anyway.
How does God guide us?
Via preachers, televangelists, and theocratic politicians, who helpfully transmit God's wishes for society to we great unwashed. That God's wishes invariably coincide with the holy man's political inclinations is undoubtedly a complete coincidence.
How can I resist evil?
In the religious sense of the word, you can't, any more than you can resist the machinations of the Foot Clan. In a realistic sense, you can start by not being a selfish asshole and attempting to empathize with your neighbors.
Why & how should we tell others?
Tell others what? I assume you'd do it by talking, whatever "it" is.
Does God heal today?
No, but He likes to take credit for the efforts of doctors regardless.
What about the Church?
What about it? And which one? There are a dozen churches of about as many denomination within walking distance of my location.
Who is the Holy Spirit?
The collective consciousness of every GOP speechwriter.
What does the Holy Spirit do?
It acted as a placeholder for our conscience in the pre-psychology era. Also, it damns us to hell for not paying attention to it. It's kind of a dick.
How can I be filled with the Holy Spirit?
By subconscious social conditioning combined with a complete lack of critical thinking. Translated for our charismatic friends: halaa blalaa manatha ramalama shyamalan.
How can I make the most of the rest of my life?
You can start with the aforementioned empathy and not being an asshole. Naturally, this will require you to abandon your theocratic urges, thus creating a spiral of rationality and people being more willing to tolerate your presence.
Posted by: holy primate
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October 6, 2009 11:57 AM
We may not be able to crash the poll on the advertising boards, but the Alpha Course have kindly provided the same poll on their website: http://uk.alpha.org/ This is definitely one for the Pharynguloids!!!
Posted by: beastlyone
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October 6, 2009 12:21 PM
How can I be filled with the Holy Spirit?
By drinking single malt scotch, of course!
Posted by: Ray Moscow
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October 6, 2009 12:35 PM
@19:
from the poll link:
Daily Express: "Alpha makes Christianity relevant to modern life."
Wow, that's some accomplishment. The churches (and reportedly God himself) have been trying to do that for centuries with little success.
Posted by: Aratina Cage
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October 6, 2009 12:43 PM
T-U-R-T-L-E Power!Posted by: Sir Sam Vimes
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October 6, 2009 12:47 PM
Well, I can answer at least two of these questions...
Who is the Holy Spirit?
Lagavulin
How can I be filled with the Holy Spirit?
I can only speak for myself here but a large cut glass tumbler, filled to the midpoint with the holy spirit and a drop of spring water available is more than enough for me!
Posted by: Michael
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October 6, 2009 12:48 PM
The first thing I thought when seeing one of these posters was that the third options shouldnt be 'probably' at all. Were it being truly neutral and unbiased the third option would have to be 'maybe'. I hope this little mess up keeps a lot of people from looking into this nonsense as its quite easy to tell, from their choice of words, how bias this whole exercise is.
Posted by: Woof
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October 6, 2009 12:56 PM
Well, crap. I used to enjoy watching his Man vs Wild show.
Posted by: shaunotd
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October 6, 2009 1:15 PM
As if I needed more confirmation that Bear Grylls is an asshat
Posted by: jdhuey
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October 6, 2009 2:18 PM
Well, defacing a public advertisement is a crime and someone caught doing it should be arrested/ticketed. After all, we don't want the 'There Probably is no God" bus ads defaced. So, since we support free speech and equal treatment under the law, we must condemn the vandals.
That said, putting up an ad that is asking the reader to place a mark (even if that request is obviously rhetorical) creates something akin to entrapment.
Posted by: ereador
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October 6, 2009 2:20 PM
@#23: I agree. Lagavulin is by far the holiest spirit I have ever been filled with!
Posted by: Die Anyway
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October 6, 2009 3:13 PM
Damn... took me 3 tries to get logged in through Movable Type. Anyway,
On the theme of religious ads, our local TV stations are running some high production quality ads for.... wait for it...
Scientology.
They run along the line of: Are you missing something in your life? Wondering about the big questions? Feeling lost or puzzled? And then a fade-in of their web site. I'd deface it with a magic marker but it's on my brand new flat panel TV.
Posted by: Draken
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October 6, 2009 3:21 PM
#1, the article by Stephen Butterfield:
On the DVD an amiable chap called Nicky Gumbel would present the weekly programmes
Nickel Gumby? That explains it.
Posted by: JohnnieCanuck
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October 6, 2009 3:26 PM
The question Why and how should I read the Bible? is actually kind of interesting. It seems clear to me that the people behind the course feel there are right and wrong ways to deal with the information found in the bible. Some parts are literal, some allegorical and some to be left alone and never discussed or even thought about.
It's this proper application of Cafeteria Christianity, rationalisation and the mysterious ways defence that they want to make sure everyone has absorbed. Proper according to them, that is.
Posted by: ExOrganist
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October 6, 2009 3:46 PM
At last! I've been wishing someone would do this for ages, but my local railway station has CCTV everywhere.
Mind you, the Alpha ads are not nearly so annoying as the other Christian billboards we get at UK train stations - the ones that just contain Bible verses chosen to insult atheists (e.g. "The fool hath said in his heart...").
Posted by: Miles670
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October 6, 2009 3:48 PM
Lol i saw one of these ads today! they're havng a meeting on monday and i went int o ask about it. It was mad seeing it on here i assumed it was just something a small group had put together. I'll still be going and i'm hoping i might encounter some intelligent conversation there. If not, then it'll be fun poking holes in what people say.
Posted by: Cosmic Teapot
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October 6, 2009 4:01 PM
Miles670
From what I've heard, there will be no intelligent conversation, and if you try poking holes in there brainwashing attempt, you will not be back for the second course.
Posted by: fj
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October 6, 2009 4:36 PM
Sadly, it could indeed be a criminal offence – Jack of Kent has more about this.
Posted by: johnwalkr
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October 6, 2009 4:38 PM
I'm midway through an Alpha Course right now. It is very interesting and I'll be writing an article or essay about the experience. For now I'll just leave a couple comments about the experience.
The list of questions you have is the week-by-week lesson plan. At the actual lesson level, courses are run by local volunteers or church members, as far as I can tell. Each lesson starts with a DVD of the main speaker on the subject matter at hand. The DVD was filmed in a church. Afterwards, in small groups you discuss the topic. It's not very structured, just set off into motion in terms of the starting topic. The assigned group leader also has a list of questions to keep conversation going.
The very first lesson starts with the presumption that there is a god and that Jesus was a real man. Any questions about these topics are not ever going to be addressed by this course. I have a problem with this because the advertisements ask "is there a god?" and "what is the meaning of life?" From there, the usual apologists' arguments are applied to "prove" Jesus as son of god, etc.
You are spot-on in your analysis of the course, PZ. But I will say, in my particular group, polite questions and comments that are critical of Christianity have been well-received and produced good conversation. They know that they will not change the minds of the atheists in the group, but still welcome the conversation. And somehow we keep going back to ask them more questions. A surprising twist, indeed.
Posted by: Numad
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October 6, 2009 5:16 PM
"Some polls aren't meant to be answered, apparently."
Look at it this way: the poll question represented by this billboard is so slanted it's already half answered already. There's two "yes" options but only one "no" option.
It's not like adding "probably not" would have killed them. In fact, if I were to vandalize a billboard like this, that's what I'd do: add the conspicuously missing option of "probably not."
Not that I'd actually vandalize a billboard.
Posted by: Leander
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October 6, 2009 6:29 PM
"Unfortunately, the transit police are then arresting them."
Yeah, unfortunately, because it's in a country civilized enough to protect perfectly legal ads from being vandalized. Personally I think these boxes are inviting, and I'd probably feel tempted too - but ultimately I'd pick supporting anybody's right to not have their ads vandalized if they don't proclaim anything illegal over lamenting the vandals being arrested any day - even if their vandalism is in accord with my opinion.
Seems to fit better with the values of a free society and all, but I guess that's just me. Amazing post though - clever enough to teach college kiddies biology, dumb enough to whine about basic principles of a free society. That's what makes me come back here PZ. Tremendous entertainment value.
Posted by: DaveL
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October 6, 2009 6:59 PM
Let me have a go at that:
Who is Jesus?
The guy who cuts my lawn.
Why did Jesus die?
He didn't die. I just told you he cuts my lawn.
How can we have faith?
By being brainwashed as a child.
Why and how do I pray?
I've never seen you pray.
Why and how should I read the Bible?
When you need a good laugh, skip down to the parts in Ezekiel where he talks about guys with dicks like donkeys who come like stallions.
How does God guide us?
He doesn't; there's not such thing.
How can I resist evil?
Start by avoiding the Alpha course.
Why & how should we tell others?
Tell others what?
Does God heal today?
No. There's no such thing, remember?
What about the Church?
What about the Church?
Who is the Holy Spirit?
A fictional character.
What does the Holy Spirit do?
Nothing, it's a fictional character.
How can I be filled with the Holy Spirit?
You can't. Haven't you been listening?
How can I make the most of the rest of my life?
Start by avoiding the Alpha course.
Posted by: Chris Hall
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October 7, 2009 3:19 AM
Jon Ronson did a very good piece on the Alpha Course a while back, it's worth a read:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2000/oct/21/weekend7.weekend
Posted by: Knockgoats
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October 7, 2009 3:50 AM
I'd pick supporting anybody's right to not have their ads vandalized if they don't proclaim anything illegal over lamenting the vandals being arrested any day - even if their vandalism is in accord with my opinion. - Leander
What a prissy piece of pomposity you must be!
Posted by: Knockgoats
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October 7, 2009 4:13 AM
Chris Hall,
No he didn't - it's a crappy piece. Ronson clearly didn't do his homework.
in less than a decade, a quarter of a million agnostics have found God through Gumbel.
[citation needed]
He quotes the Jewish historian Josephus, born AD37: "Jesus, a wise man, if it be lawful to call him a man, for he was a doer of wonderful works ... the tribe of Christians so named after him are not extinct to this day." I am with Nicky thus far. My knowledge of Josephus is sketchy, but he strikes me as a reliable source.
The quote from Josephus is acknowledged by all serious historians as a piece of 4th century Christian forgery.
The idiot even takes C.S. Lewis "trilemma" seriously. What a twerp.
Posted by: Walton
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October 7, 2009 4:24 AM
I agree with Leander, In a free society, free expression and private property rights are fundamental. Just as atheists have a right to buy advertising space, so too do Christians, and in neither case should their advertisements be the target of vandalism.
This doesn't mean that we shouldn't criticise them. If an advertising campaign is spreading misinformation or nonsense, honest people are morally obliged to point this out. But we shouldn't do so, IMO, by violating other people's property rights and preventing them from expressing their views. If we expect them to respect our fundamental rights, we must also respect theirs.
Posted by: Knockgoats
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October 7, 2009 5:22 AM
In a free society, free expression and private property rights are fundamental. -Walton
Well Walton, I already knew you are a prissy piece of pomposity! Vandalising adverts (at least if done by adding to them rather than ripping them down) is free expression - a chance for those without money to answer back. That, of course, is why you and Leander hate it.
Posted by: Ray Moscow
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October 7, 2009 6:15 AM
I was thinking of giving the Alpha Course a go, just to see whether there was anything new or interesting to it, but the Stephen Butterfield review (link in first comment) put me off entirely. It is an even worse rehash of the same old BS than I expected.
Posted by: davrosfromskaro
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October 7, 2009 7:09 AM
Adam Rutherford, a reporter for the Guardian, took the whole 10-week Alpha course and produced a weekly report of his experiences.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/adamrutherford
Click the link above and start on the 10th July article "From AA to Alpha".
Posted by: CharmedQuark
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October 7, 2009 8:44 AM
Q. How can I be filled with the Holy Spirit?
A. Well if you are a 13-16 year old female Palestinian virgin - uh see the bible and watch out for Larry.
Posted by: gwana | October 30, 2009 8:16 AM
Fantastic. I love these bigoted articles. They're exactly the reason people go on courses like Alpha. Because Alpha gives you a chance to express your view and explore another view. Without condemning you out of hand, as this author does of believers.
Posted by: Aratina Cage
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October 30, 2009 10:08 AM
And I love how your name is nearly a homophone for "bat shit" because you are batshit crazy if you think Alpha Course has any educational value. It is an attempt to suck in the gullible (who will tithe later, you betcha *wink*) with misinformation characterizing Christianinanity as something important, which it is not.Posted by: gwana | October 30, 2009 11:04 AM
Aratina, you're welcome to your view. Of course you provide zip evidence for it but that's no surprise. Your language already betrays your prejudice.
Posted by: Aratina Cage
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October 30, 2009 12:25 PM
I am assuming by "it" you mean "indoctrination into Christianity has no educational value". That is not prejudice, it is postjudice. And don't talk to me about evidence. You and all the other Christians rely on fairytales and faith in delusions for your so-called evidence, which is actually crap as I already told you.