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Category: Godlessness • Humor
Posted on: October 18, 2009 1:49 PM, by PZ Myers
This is a video by an apostate: an atheist who has left the flock and become a believer. I was all ready to point a gnarled bony finger at him and screech to my minions that he must be rent limb from limb, but then I made the mistake of listening further…and he actually makes a good case.
I'm thinking, though, that if I get sick this year and don't recover, then I'll be able to mock and laugh at him again. Briefly. From my deathbed.
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denialism blog 02.14.2012
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confessions of a science librarian 02.13.2012
starts with a bang! 02.13.2012
Comments
Posted by: Lilith | October 18, 2009 1:58 PM
Dammit, PZ, can you please not post so many videos, and post more text, because I can't access any of them from work and I feel like I'm missing out *pout*
Posted by: SWH | October 18, 2009 1:59 PM
Bloody vikings!
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM | October 18, 2009 2:04 PM
O.o
if that is god, I'm turning satanist. bleccch
Posted by: Marie the Bookwyrm | October 18, 2009 2:05 PM
Oooooo, Spam. Nom, nom, nom. The only thing that would be better is bacon-wrapped Spam slices. High-cholesterol heaven! (See the religious word I used there? Spam is god!)
Posted by: C. Sky King | October 18, 2009 2:05 PM
This gentleman looks like a young Rick Warren. I'm glad to see that Spam now his its own Rick Warren as an advocate.
Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM, CR
|
October 18, 2009 2:06 PM
As a deity, SPAM can't be beat
It's the Holy of Holies of Meat--
And a Son of SPAM slice
On a sandwich is nice,
Because "this is my body you eat."
Posted by: formosus
|
October 18, 2009 2:07 PM
I found him to! He was behind the couch, that sneaky little fucker.
Wooops. Good thing I watched the whole video before commenting. I was about to write an long, angry post about how using regression to the mean as an evidence for god is using the same logic that the homeopaths do.
Thankfully, it was someone sane pointing out the absurdity of said argument. And now I'm off to prepare a presentation on why the MMR vaccine does not cause Autism. On that note, is there one article that encapsulates all of the stupid antivaccine claims ('Antifreeze!', 'Dead baby!', &c).
Posted by: Anonym | October 18, 2009 2:07 PM
... or, how to shark-jump the shark-jumper! ;^)
Posted by: kantalope
|
October 18, 2009 2:08 PM
Silly Spammist(reformed?) - there was obviously a can of spaghettiOs in the pantry behind the apostic spam...
Although sing along: Spam Spam Spam Spam...
Posted by: Matt | October 18, 2009 2:11 PM
[Insert stock film of Viking longboat here]
Posted by: Aratina Cage
|
October 18, 2009 2:12 PM
Uhmmmm.... I hate to tell him, but spam is a mystery meat. It isn't as simple as he thought.
Posted by: LRA
|
October 18, 2009 2:13 PM
The hell??? Scientific???
Posted by: formosus
|
October 18, 2009 2:13 PM
Who's the god who can't be beat?
A little tin of potted meat!
He gave to you his flesh to eat
for a tasty luncheon treat!
Posted by: Aratina Cage
|
October 18, 2009 2:14 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdpsfBsN_Dg
Posted by: Yngve Sjølset | October 18, 2009 2:14 PM
Ohhhh... wonderful spam...
Here you go
Posted by: formosus
|
October 18, 2009 2:15 PM
wow, i just realized I used most of the same rhymes for an inferior poem. Perhaps I should read all the comments before I post. DigitalCuttlefish, you are still the king.
Posted by: Janine, Vile Bitch, OM | October 18, 2009 2:21 PM
Every time I inhale, I say a little prayer in the hope I will exhale. Works every time. But it takes up so much of my time, no wonder I do not get much done.
Does the Son Of Spam receive messages from the next door neighbor's dog?
Does this make Spam Lite the holy ghost?
Posted by: Outlaw
|
October 18, 2009 2:24 PM
ROFL. And I was getting all ready with my counter arguments until he pulled out that can of spam.
Posted by: Sherry
|
October 18, 2009 2:29 PM
I grew up on catfish and Spam.
We were poor but at least I had God in my mouth.
Posted by: ElectricBarbarella
|
October 18, 2009 2:31 PM
You are all losers for you do not worship the one true Deity:
All Hail Ramen and his Son, Chow Ramen Noodles!
You will all die a thousand horrible deaths, burning in the pit fires of Spamell for your belief in this false god!
~~Toni
Posted by: Leo Martins | October 18, 2009 2:32 PM
All these years and I never realized that I was actually receiving a sign. In my mailbox.
Google is evil.
Posted by: subbie
|
October 18, 2009 2:35 PM
I'm pink, therefore I'm spam.
- Hormel Descartes
Posted by: SQB (fuck death)
|
October 18, 2009 2:37 PM
I'm a vegetarian, so I'm still an atheist.
Posted by: Dan W | October 18, 2009 2:44 PM
And the lord spake and said "this is my flesh, although thou probably wantest not to know what part of my flesh it was. Take and eat it and asketh not any more questions."
Posted by: Marie the Bookwyrm | October 18, 2009 2:45 PM
I especially like the bit where he mentions atheists asking who created god.
'It says it right there on the label--Hormel.'
Posted by: taranaki
|
October 18, 2009 2:45 PM
The Minnesota NFL franchise was named the Vikings in honor of all the Scandinavians who had settled in the Great White North. But why did all those Swedes and Norwegians head to MN in the first place? Similar weather? Or because the favorite food of their ancestors, those lovable sea borne rapists and pillagers, is manufactured in nearby Austin, MN? And now that we know that Spam is god and god is Spam, it all makes sense. This is P Zed's great secret!!!! He is not an atheist - he wants to become god!
That reasoning is just as solid as any xians.
Posted by: Somnolent Aphid
|
October 18, 2009 2:46 PM
Is it any wonder that god would be found in Minnesota? We've visited the Austin plant, the museum there, and it would give the creationist museum a good run for its money.
Posted by: Becky
|
October 18, 2009 2:46 PM
Spam is God, I see an offshoot to FSM here, we can all be touched by his spamy goodness.....
Sherry @19 HAHAHAHAHAHA you had god in your mouth, was it creamy?
Posted by: sidhe1
|
October 18, 2009 2:47 PM
@ 11--SPAM isn't a mystery meat. It stands for Squirrels, 'Possums And Mice. =)
Posted by: Happy Tentacles
|
October 18, 2009 2:47 PM
Let the believers in the True Faith of the Bacon Sandwich rise up against this heretical sect of Spammites!
Posted by: Marcus B. | October 18, 2009 2:48 PM
I feel the need to pray to our Dear Lord Spam and ask why I'm such a weak person who never, ever learns.
I was too curious about the reactions to this video, so I went to YouTube and checked the comments. There is a long argument between the author of the video and a theist and halfway through it I felt my brain starting to melt.
This is something I know happens to me if I read YouTube-comments. It's a constant. They are just always that stupid. I shouldn't try to read them, but for some reason I still do and I can barely keep my sanity when I do.
.. I'll have to go and install that Greasemonkey-script that replaces all YouTube-comments with quotes from Richard Feynman again. I had that installed for a time on my old computer and it did wonders for my mood and sanity when I visited YouTube.
Posted by: David | October 18, 2009 2:49 PM
And of course we also have here "evidence" of evolution... over 6 billion cans later, linguistically from Shoulder of Pork and Ham to the portmanteau Spiced Ham to what we now know as Spam...
but of course, based upon a simple monophyletic cladogram, we can follow the trail thus: Spam Classic, Spam Hot & Spicy, Spam Less Sodium, Spam Lite, Spam Oven Roasted Turkey, Hickory Smoked, and Spam Spread...
Interestingly, although probably a result of non-native introductions by humans, or perhaps through convergent evolution driven by "dejeuner desperation", certain populations of Spam have been seen to occur in Denmark ,the Phillipines, and South Korea...
But of course, as with many other species, misnomers abound: American Robins being named "robin" instead of Thrush, humans being named "dogs", and Musaceae endocarp labelled as "intelligent design", and so it is not surprising that this particular organism (for it has been seen to respond to stimuli, reproduce, grow, yet maintain a certain level of homeostasis within it's enclosre) various alternative names have been suggested: "Something Posing As Meat", "Specially Processed Artificial Meat", "Stuff, Pork and Ham", "Spare Parts Animal Meat" and "Special Product of Austin Minnesota".
Posted by: Ragutis | October 18, 2009 2:55 PM
That does it! I convert. I will now undertake a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. Anyone here that can recommend a nice affordable place to stay on Oahu?
Hormellujah!
Posted by: Rox1SMF | October 18, 2009 3:15 PM
I have partaken in the consumption of SPAM far more times than Holy Communion... for taste alone it's the clear winner over the bland Jesus wafer.
Posted by: Son of Spam | October 18, 2009 3:24 PM
So what happens when I eat the Spam and digest him, am I turning God to shit and flushing him out of my life?
Posted by: James Brown
|
October 18, 2009 3:31 PM
My GOD will kick his GOD's ass
Posted by: David | October 18, 2009 3:32 PM
to Son of Spam #35
But beware the addage "you are what you eat [and whatever they ate]", not only referring to cow's milk, crabs, and of course spam, etc. but perhaps also transubstantiation...!
Posted by: Sherry
|
October 18, 2009 3:33 PM
ummmmm...
just a hint...
Under PZ's title...
Category: Godlessness • Humor
Posted by: CRM-114 | October 18, 2009 3:40 PM
I learned something.
It's obvious now that the Monty Python's Flying Circus "Spam" song was a religious hymn!
Posted by: uncle frogy | October 18, 2009 3:40 PM
I was ready to make a comment on prayer until he introduced his God. But I think I will make the comment any way.
Prayer works.
All directed focused prayer works.
All focused prayer works regardless of which if any Deity is invoked in the same way and with similar percentages.
if that is true how does that in any way indicate the existence or truth of any particular god or religion.
Is there something else going on with prayer that is internal and subjective with the one who is praying that might be worth studying.
Posted by: tsig0
|
October 18, 2009 3:41 PM
Well spam is everywhere.
Surely Spam is evidence of ID. You can't tell me that can just happened to wrap itself around the meat by some kind of chance. No it is obvious to any idiot that the process must be irriducibly complex and therefore intelligently designed.
The exact specified complexity index is one. I'll prove that mathmatecally:
M + C = 1C
therefore:
SCI = 1
Where M=meat C=Can or Covering as needed and SCI = specified complex irriducibility.
Dr d squared
Posted by: NewEnglandBob
|
October 18, 2009 3:54 PM
Its time for an Oscar to this guy for keeping a straight face all through that video.
Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble OM4Jesus
|
October 18, 2009 4:01 PM
THE GOD OF YOUNG FLOYD RUBBER
Floyd came of age, shaped fair in sin,
For grace was ne’er afforded
A boy with a quadruple chin,
Whom healthy food avoided,
Preferring meat of processed hue,
Kept long inside a can,
A meal that Father Noah knew,
But Jesus died to ban.
For what offends the Hasidic
More than a porcine stew,
Shimmering bright in aspic
And pink with NaNO2.
But that drear dish Floyd Rubber loves,
That doubtful food called Spam,
(I wouldn’t touch it without gloves,
It tastes like diaphragm).
The meat that built the pyramids
And set the Norse a-sail,
With scent that calls chironomids,
It landed Floyd in jail.
For on his eighteenth birthday,
Greed overcame Floyd Rubber,
Spam led him to his doomsday,
And his future as a bubba.
Back then young Floyd had hatched a plan,
Devising on his own,
That he would rule the Rubber clan,
Ascending to the throne,
By cornering the world of Spam
With murder, threat, and mayhem.
But Floyd’s old mom her son didst damn
When she learned of his foul system.
She summoned forth a grim tirade,
And called him an abortion,
Then dobbed him in for homicide,
And crimes of like proportion.
And so in prison Floyd was shut,
Aged only twenty-three,
There’d never been a bigger butt,
In penitentiary.
The first time someone laughed at him,
Floyd sat upon on his head,
Like a massive, squatting cherubim,
‘Til the clown was nearly dead.
When to his feet fat Floyd arose
He growled to one and all:
“You really wanna fuck with me?
It’ll be your final call!”
And every con backed far away,
While Floyd demanded food:
“I want Spam! Now! You’d better pray
That you keep me in good mood!”
The prison stayed a happy place,
For Floyd got his demand,
The warden found it no disgrace
To yield to the command.
He brought Spam in by daily truck,
All destined for Floyd Rubber.
And in return Floyd didn’t fuck
The warden, or his brother.
AMEN
Posted by: T. Bruce McNeely
|
October 18, 2009 4:17 PM
So if God is Spam, then Satan must be...
Underwood Devilled Ham!!!!
Posted by: buttie.openid.pl
|
October 18, 2009 4:21 PM
His logic is clear and indisputable.
You Spamless atheists got pwnd again.
;)
Posted by: shonny
|
October 18, 2009 4:28 PM
Hoy! What have we done now?
Posted by: Zeno
|
October 18, 2009 4:28 PM
There is but one Spam and Hormel is its prophet!
(Is it a heresy to serve up a Spam eucharist with a side of spaghetti?)
Posted by: Cruithne | October 18, 2009 4:29 PM
I wonder if he believes in the doctrine of transubspamtiation?
Posted by: Kel, OM | October 18, 2009 4:31 PM
Meh, I give the same refutation to that as I do to homeopathic medicine.
Posted by: llewelly | October 18, 2009 4:36 PM
What a bunch of BS. Who created Hormel?
Posted by: David | October 18, 2009 4:58 PM
to llewelly # 50
It is still stellar nucleosynthesis and baryogenesis: helium-4, deuterium, then heavier carbon, hydrogen, sodium nitrite, etc.
Posted by: Sastra
|
October 18, 2009 5:06 PM
Prayer always works!
1.) If you get what you asked for, it worked, and your faith in God is strengthened.
2.) If you don't get what you asked for, it still worked, because
a.) you got what you needed more, and your faith in God is strengthened.
b.) you got a lesson in humility, and your faith in God is strengthened.
c.) you got a terrible disaster which you can only get through by leaning on God, and your faith in God is strengthened.
d.) you got a lesson in patience, and your faith in God is strengthened.
e.) you got a revelation that God does not answer prayers like that, and your faith in God is strengthened.
f.) you got an opportunity to demonstrate to God that, no matter what, your faith in God is strong, and your faith in God is strengthened.
g.) you got an opportunity to demonstrate to the unsaved that, no matter what, your faith in God is strong, and your faith in God is strengthened.
That's why prayer is such a good test. It's the religious equivalent of the little plastic ducky game at carnivals. A prize every time!
Posted by: Glenn | October 18, 2009 5:14 PM
I must be more powerful than most of you- I recognized it as a parody as soon as I heard him say "If I got sick, I prayed, and later I got better".
Posted by: IBYea
|
October 18, 2009 5:17 PM
I am sorry, but spam is obviously fake God. Spam is way too salty, greasy, and gross.
Posted by: jimmiraybob | October 18, 2009 5:26 PM
@ #23 - SQB
I'm a vegetarian, so I'm still an atheist.
Then let me tell you of the Good News of the Trinity, Spam the father, Bun the son, and Ketchup the Holy Spirit. Since Ketchup is a well known vegetable you, and your Spam sammich, can be bathed in the spirit.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM
|
October 18, 2009 5:27 PM
I will not bow down five times a day toward Austin, MN!
Posted by: Crux Australis | October 18, 2009 5:30 PM
I don't know...very convincing, but I call Poe.
Posted by: Rick R | October 18, 2009 5:45 PM
I don't think I've ever had Spam in my entire life. And I'm American.
Guess I'm still waiting to hear the "Good News™".
Posted by: David B
|
October 18, 2009 5:53 PM
That post about how prayer always works is now saved.
Beautiful! I am so going to use it:)
David
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | October 18, 2009 6:21 PM
What exactly did you think His meatballs are made of?
(Theology, you see, contains lots of strict logic. Lots and lots of it.)
Posted by: Uncle Glenny
|
October 18, 2009 6:27 PM
OMS! I'm a blasphemer! I've got Underwood Deviled Ham in the fridge!
Posted by: SEF
|
October 18, 2009 6:30 PM
As it happens, I already have a graven idol for his god - a spam emoticon. Posting it on Pharyngula would probably eat up in one go my entire bandwidth allowance on the image hosting site though!
I suppose, if necessary, I could upload a duplicate of it onto the offshoot site which wasn't supposed to have the same restrictions.
Posted by: Stephen F Roberts | October 18, 2009 6:44 PM
Dangit... now I want some Spam...
Posted by: T. Bruce McNeely
|
October 18, 2009 7:06 PM
...and Yahweh asks:
"What am I, chopped liver?"
Posted by: SEF
|
October 18, 2009 7:20 PM
Yahweh = Yeast Augmented Ham With Extra Herbs ?
Posted by: longstreet
|
October 18, 2009 7:40 PM
Spam is doubtless God, for when you swallow a bit of Spam it becomes meat on the way down. At least, in the substance if not the accidents.
Spam is thus an accident waiting to happen.
Therefore, God.
Posted by: Sorceror | October 18, 2009 7:41 PM
Yes! Finally! The undeniable truth!
Spam, bacon, sausage and Spam;
Spam, egg, Spam, Spam, bacon and Spam;
Spam, sausage, Spam, Spam, bacon, Spam, tomato, and Spam;
Spam, Spam, Spam, egg and Spam;
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam ....
#35: Catholics also have this issue when the communion turns into Jesus during digestion.
Posted by: Shrieky Graham Chapman | October 18, 2009 8:36 PM
#67:
I DON"T LIKE SPAM!!!
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage
|
October 18, 2009 8:40 PM
So my atheism and my dislike of Spam® are connected. I'd always had a suspicion they were.
Posted by: Tree Lobsters | October 18, 2009 8:53 PM
Blasphemy! Armour Treet is the one true canned meat god!
Posted by: Copernicus | October 18, 2009 8:55 PM
btw, the portmanteau for blog spam is blam...
so for comments by those like #50, well explained by #51, the genesis of this was obviously 13.7 billion years ago with the "Big Blam"...
[Komatsu, E. et al. (2009). "Five-Year Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe Observations: Cosmological Interpretation". Astrophysical Journal Supplement 180: 330]
Posted by: Newfie
|
October 18, 2009 8:59 PM
Klik - Kam - Spork - and Prem don't get the international respect as lesser deities that they should.. just sayin', eh?
Posted by: Nebula99
|
October 18, 2009 9:04 PM
I have never seen a can of spam in reality, only pics on the 'tubes. Yet, I find the concept itself abhorrent. So my problem is that I don't WANT to believe, because I am a member of the Fascist Nazi Socialist Communist Marxist Pinko Gay-Loving Darwinist Liberal Masonic Illuminati *Pant Pant* and I eat lots of organic liberal tree-hugger food.
Posted by: Copernicus | October 18, 2009 9:20 PM
to #40, #52 et al...
this may explain all with reference to prayer (talk about spam, or blam, or spim, or spaSMS):
Mr. Deity and the Messages
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
|
October 18, 2009 9:22 PM
Isn't bowing toward Morris close enough?. ;)Posted by: Matt Cumming | October 18, 2009 9:40 PM
T-SHIRTS we Need T-Shirts!
Posted by: Midnight Rambler
|
October 18, 2009 10:21 PM
Glenn @53:
You must not hear people talking about "the power of prayer" much, because that's pretty much standard religious talk. It's not much different than the "miracle" ascribed to Father Damien (109 years after he died) that got him elevated to sainthood:
http://archives.starbulletin.com/2008/04/30/news/story08.html
Posted by: phyxius
|
October 18, 2009 10:31 PM
As often is the case, George Carlin said it best:
"You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons; first of all, I think he's a good actor. Ok. To me, that counts. Second; he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. Doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with. For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog. Joe Pesci straightened that cock-sucker out with one visit.
[...]
I noticed that of all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want. Half the time I don't. Same as god, 50/50. Same as the four leaf clover, the horse shoe, the rabbit's foot, and the wishing well. Same as the mojo man. Same as the voodoo lady who tells your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same: 50/50. So just pick your superstitions, sit back, make a wish and enjoy yourself."
Posted by: Monado | October 18, 2009 10:31 PM
Heck, Jesus wasn't even assigned parents until 107 years after he died. By some bishop writing about him.
Posted by: lnocsifan | October 18, 2009 10:44 PM
I thought it was beautiful. It's better to have something you believe in, than nothing at all. This former atheist has found a substitute god and, if he's lucky and keeps praying, he may realize that SPAM isn't god, and go on to worship something more meaningful, like Chardonnay.
Posted by: Kevin (NYC) | October 18, 2009 11:32 PM
"Posted by: ElectricBarbarella | October 18, 2009 2:31 PM
You are all losers for you do not worship the one true Deity"
that is not very Pastafarian of you sister. You know that the FSM condems no man, but offers only suggestions on the proper manner of living.
(Its true that they are losers but its not polite to point and stare)
Posted by: Sphere Coupler | October 18, 2009 11:47 PM
And then I took the lords name in vain...spam damn.
*thunder in background*
*smell of an impending hog confinement*
Posted by: The Ungodly Goddess
|
October 19, 2009 12:08 AM
That George Carlin 50-50 thing always bugged me. He meant that praying to god was the same as praying to Joe Pesci (or wishing on a star.)
But if any wishes you made were granted at a 50-50 rate, then the key to success would be to wish big and wish often.
If you prayed for world peace AND a million bucks, then a 50-50 return rate would make one of these prayers come true! If praying to Spam, Joe Pesci or gods were answered at 50-50, I'd be praying now to up my return rather than writing a picky little post about George Carlin's math snafu.
Posted by: Scott | October 19, 2009 1:07 AM
Our Father, which art in cans,
hollowed be thy container;
thy kingdom yum;
thy will be nom'd,
in meat as it is in cans.
Give us this day our daily food.
And forgive us our vegetables,
as we forgive them that trespass against beef.
And lead us not into the produce section;
but deliver us from salad.
For thine is the klikdom,
the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Ramen.
Posted by: Marcie Dietrich
|
October 19, 2009 1:19 AM
I've never had Spam, but when I was a child, my mother served Prem (I think it's Canadian Spam). I liked Prem, but now that I'm an adult, I don't touch the stuff.
Posted by: Speaker-to-Animals | October 19, 2009 2:50 AM
Now that's an argument I can really sink my teeth into!
Posted by: ElitistB
|
October 19, 2009 3:52 AM
I was totally taken in by this video.
This guy has earned my youtube subscription.
Posted by: sornord | October 19, 2009 4:41 AM
Spam: the parts of the the pig they couldn't get into sausage! Allows them to use Porty from the rooter to the tooter!
Posted by: Anonymo | October 19, 2009 5:04 AM
For a few minutes I thought that this was real. Good to see I'm wrong. But if anyone seriously tries to use this argument for prayer, then you just need to consider:
- You will always feel better when you're down. People don't usually just roll over and give up. Prayer is simply the Christian way of keeping the ignorant Plebs occupied.
- You will [usually] get better when you get sick. Fact of life. Young people, and by that I mean most people under 60, shouldn't have any big problems with major illnesses that can be answered with prayer alone.
And if they do, put that f***er on Dateline.
Posted by: Richard Eis
|
October 19, 2009 5:24 AM
-And of course we also have here "evidence" of evolution... over 6 billion cans later-
No it's just variation of spam. Not evolution ;)
-So what happens when I eat the Spam and digest him, am I turning God to shit and flushing him out of my life?-
Probably the same thing christians do with Jesus crackers...um so yes.
Posted by: DingoJack
|
October 19, 2009 5:39 AM
"Son of SPAM"? - Wasn't that a serial mystery meat that shot NY couples in their cars during the '70's ?
Somnolent Aphid asked, so here: let Uncle Al 'splain it to ya. - DJ
Posted by: avninja | October 19, 2009 5:53 AM
Damn! Ive been praying to Treet. I now know that it is the false prophet. Praise be the one true God, Spam.
Posted by: Bob Russell | October 19, 2009 6:04 AM
Infidel! Spam is NOT God! God is Klik...slice be upon him.
Posted by: JLO | October 19, 2009 6:27 AM
At the end it should say "Spam-God will no be blocked."
(Firefox has a better Spam-God blocker than IE.)
Posted by: rath | October 19, 2009 6:42 AM
Reddit recently featured this discussion post with the title: "I am former atheist who is now a theist."
What I read of the poster's replies did not make me understand how his reasons amount to anything but feelings, but he was sincere.
Posted by: abz
|
October 19, 2009 7:24 AM
So god really IS good.
Not only is he good but he's also delicious in a sandwich made with thick white bread and a good dollop of English mustard.
I might have to have a one-to-one with god tonight if I can get to the shops on my way home from work.
Posted by: Copernicus | October 19, 2009 8:02 AM
ummm, Rath #95...?
You do know this is a parody, right? Or did you not get past the first minute?
Quick bit of advice: read/listen to the original post by the blogger, make up your own mind, then read comments- comments are already second- or third-hand...
That's almost like believing word-for-word the latest, newest version of scripture without referencing Strongs or the original language (including idiom) or placing it in historical context... oh, wait, but that would challenge the power of the "priest"... can't have that, put the curtains back up in the temple, quick ...!
Posted by: Knockgoats | October 19, 2009 8:02 AM
It must be true! We used to eat spam at home when I was a young child, but IIRC it vanished from the menu shortly before I became an atheist at the age of 12. Obviously, my faith was no longer being nourished.
Posted by: Maggie Moo | October 19, 2009 8:13 AM
Please God, it's me Margaret... if I'm the 100th comment, let there be world peace or give me 100 $10,000 bills!
Posted by: Aratina Cage
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October 19, 2009 8:15 AM
"Spam in a can" is a suitable replacement for "Christ on a stick".
Posted by: Maggie Moo | October 19, 2009 8:15 AM
Please God, it's me Margaret... if I'm the 100th comment, let there be world peace or give me 100 $10,000 bills!
Posted by: DingoJack
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October 19, 2009 8:18 AM
Maggie Moo - "would you believe it, this close" [/Maxwell Smart] :) = DJ
Posted by: Copernicus | October 19, 2009 8:20 AM
Maggie Moo #99 and #101...
Obviously, "bracketing" is not a good form of prayer- you've got to hit the nail on the head... oops, I mean you've got to nail it... oops, I mean, you've got to be spot on... but don't worry, if you keep on falling down just get up one more time than you fell and your prayers may be answered...
Posted by: Aratina Cage
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October 19, 2009 8:23 AM
Obviously, the ex-atheist was right. Spam does answer prayers where God fails to act. Maggie moo's futile prayer is proof of that.
Posted by: Maggie Moo | October 19, 2009 8:33 AM
LOL! A parody of a parody... actually I would have made 100 had the automated spam detector (which I thought was lifted) not told me that I'd sent my next comment too quickly!
So it would seem that the anti-Spam got another one...!
Posted by: Father Nature | October 19, 2009 9:28 AM
OK, I'm going to run a little experiment. I'm going to pray, fervently, sincerely, and with humble submission to the infinite power of SPAM (blessed be his name, etc.) for the amputated part of my body to be restored. (it certainly ISN'T my right testicle so you just stop that smirking.)
Once the holy SPAM restores the missing part, I shall become an evangelist for him, her, or it. And if he/she/it does not grant this prayerful request, I shall then pray for my prostate to shrink back down from vollyball size to something more normal.
Failing that, I have lots of physical conditions to work with so I have confidence, that sooner or later one of them WILL be cured through prayer.
I shall await the happy results and report them here.
Posted by: Thcia | October 19, 2009 9:29 AM
Your all wrong. There is no Bob, but Bob.
Posted by: DingoJack
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October 19, 2009 9:41 AM
Father Nature - I will pray fervently from your left testicle. All hail the great god, the Son of SPAM! = DJ
Posted by: John Norris | October 19, 2009 9:51 AM
#4 - bacon wrapped Spam is too high church, like the RCC. Simple folks just need a bun and a slice of fried god.
Posted by: Father Nature | October 19, 2009 9:57 AM
So you're the one making all that noise in my left testicle.
Well another fervent prayer has to improve the odds. Thanks.
Posted by: seanjjordan
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October 19, 2009 9:58 AM
At first I was like
:-|
But then,
I LOLed.
Posted by: Jay | October 19, 2009 10:03 AM
In the spirit of welcoming ecumenism, let us try to heal the rift between Spammists, Christians, and Atheists. From now on, Communion will be in sandwich form. This includes bread, regarded as God incarnate by the Christians (properly blessed, of course). Spam will of course be added to our delectable Trinity. And since Atheists seem to like Wisconsin (America's Dairyland), a slice of cheese finishes things off.
Posted by: kopd
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October 19, 2009 10:10 AM
I prayed to a milk jug before and after job interviews. I am now employed. Proof that the Spam is a false god.
Posted by: abz | October 19, 2009 2:40 PM
It's all true. I found more evidence in my local supermarket.
BEHOLD, THE THIRD PART OF THE TRILOGY
http://i36.tinypic.com/2f0d4wl.jpg
THE SPAM HOLY GHOST
Posted by: jimmynutsek | October 19, 2009 3:30 PM
We don't have SPAM in Vienna but as I am Australian I tried it with Vegemite. It Works!
Posted by: genetechsfutureowner | October 21, 2009 12:58 AM
Spam is not the true god. There is no god, there is only Baloney and Cheese is his prophet.
Posted by: Cannabinaceae
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October 21, 2009 7:58 PM
Well, some of us Baloneys actually worship the Great Feathered One, who is a Duck (one might say, "The" Duck). Cheese doesn't actually figure in this sect. But back to Spam.
Spam is really good. One Christmas, on Mt. Rainier (Panorama Point, if you must know), a long time vegetarian (not me!) broke his meat-fast with Spam. Mmmmm.
Posted by: bettySwollox | October 22, 2009 7:47 AM
Our larder, which art in the kitchen
Hallowed be thy Spam
Thy come precooked
Thy will be tinned, in Austin, as in Minnesota
Give us this spam withour daily bread
And forgive us our beef pastries, as we forgive them that not eat pork products
And lead us not into the lunch room
But deliver us our mystery meat
For thine gelatinous glaze, is the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen
Praise the lard!!!
Posted by: bettySwollox | October 22, 2009 7:50 AM
Our larder, which art in the kitchen
Hallowed be thy Spam
Thy come precooked
Thy will be tinned, in Austin, as in Minnesota
Give us this spam with our daily bread
And forgive us our beef pastries, as we forgive them that not eat pork products
And lead us not into the lunch room
But deliver us our mystery meat
For thine gelatinous glaze, is the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen
Praise the lard!!!
Posted by: bc23.5
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October 23, 2009 5:10 PM
I would like to point out that Bob was the first of the elders to ever taste the God-in-name-Spam-lord-saviour-messiah, and live to tell about it!
Posted by: Vedran
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October 25, 2009 4:11 AM
#38
Yeah, I'm pretty sure everyone had figured out it was a parody, and their comments show it. But good attempt anyway at being the smart and rational person who has to give "hints" to us lowly inferiors. Idiot.