Or I would have roasted one yesterday.
I wonder if you can get free-range turctopus?
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More articles by PZ Myers can be found on Freethoughtblogs at the new Pharyngula!
Darn it, I didn't even know these were on the market
Category: Weirdness
Posted on: November 27, 2009 11:16 AM, by PZ Myers
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Comments
Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites
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November 27, 2009 11:31 AM
Oh, don't get these. They're all factory-farmed under terrible conditions, and it takes 4,788 times the energy to raise just one of these to table size as it does a hundred head cuttlecattle.
Posted by: daveau
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November 27, 2009 11:32 AM
Be sure to stay local and get a heritage variety. What kind of stuffing goes with that, I wonder?
Posted by: anonymous bloger | November 27, 2009 11:34 AM
Its a shame birds aren't segmented like some arthropods. If they were it would be relatively easy to engineer a real turkey with 8 drumsticks.
http://carnifexinsania.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites
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November 27, 2009 11:37 AM
From the looks of those tentacles, I'd say you if you're not very careful at the chopping block.
Posted by: Peter G.
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November 27, 2009 12:02 PM
Just don't try it Korean style. Wriggling feathers in your throat would detract from the gustatory experience.
Posted by: Knockgoats | November 27, 2009 12:22 PM
Its a shame birds aren't segmented like some arthropods. If they were it would be relatively easy to engineer a real turkey with 8 drumsticks. anonymous bloger
I'm sure the biotechnologists are working on it. However, what we really need to end the vegetarian/cadaverivore wars is a photosynthetic turkey that loves living in smelly, crowded conditions, and really wants to be eaten.
Posted by: realinterrobang
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November 27, 2009 12:32 PM
Good. If all of you are eating drumsticks, there's more breast meat for me! Yum, yum. If you cook the turkey face-down and then only flip it upright to brown the top, the breast meat comes out unbelievably juicy, as well, so you don't have get your moisture fix by chewing on greasy, stringy dark meat. :)
Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites
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November 27, 2009 12:32 PM
I'd be happy if I could photosynthesize. Is there any way I could be engineered so as to require nothing more than a few hours of sunshine a day and a handful of dirt once a week? You won't even need to water me; I can get my own beer.
Posted by: Blondin | November 27, 2009 12:51 PM
This was totally my idea! I invented the concept of the "octo-turkey" when I was about 12 years old. With seven people in my family there was always a contest over who got a drumstick since there were only two. I always reckoned that if someone could find some way to genetically splice a turkey and octopus we could all have a drumstick and peace and tranquility would be restored to the Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner table.
'course... then we'd probably just fight over who got the extra drumstick.
Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline.
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November 27, 2009 12:52 PM
Bon appetit. As David has repeatedly told you, you don't have the surface area for that. (And remember volume scales a r3, so don't make the obvious joke about your weight.)Posted by: Chris Caprette | November 27, 2009 1:08 PM
Looks like an avian follower of Dagon.
Posted by: littlejohn | November 27, 2009 1:28 PM
Whatever you do, don't try to stuff it. Several cooks have already lost their hands. And then there's that damn ink all over the kitchen.
Posted by: AdamK
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November 27, 2009 1:50 PM
Pepperidge Farm Christian Babies with Herbs.
Posted by: EricTheHalf | November 27, 2009 2:01 PM
I hear that they grow pretty quickly.
Probably something to do with them having mouths at both ends. A clear example of ID.
Posted by: nelc
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November 27, 2009 2:14 PM
The Japanese for "turkey" can be read as "seven-sided bird". Coincidentally, I note that the turktopus illustrated above has only seven arms.
Posted by: Larry
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November 27, 2009 4:28 PM
So if tructopi evolved from turkeys and octopi, how come there are still turkeys and octopi around?
Care to explain that you Darwinists?
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage
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November 27, 2009 4:50 PM
You'd let a gaggle of those loose in the wild?
Posted by: Romeo Vitelli | November 27, 2009 5:21 PM
When Lord Cthulhu rises, he'll probably want you to explain why you ate his cousin.
Posted by: Woof | November 27, 2009 5:31 PM
Be sure to go for the Tree Turctopus. More expensive, but they have more dark meat.
Posted by: Wonko the Sane | November 27, 2009 6:36 PM
I'd recommend a stuffing based on scallops and maybe bacon.
Posted by: Ray G | November 28, 2009 12:50 AM
and a wing
Posted by: Lilith | November 28, 2009 7:04 AM
I've never understood the obsession with the drumsticks of roasted fowl. I think the breast meat is far nicer, but YMMV.
My local supermarket used to sell uncooked chickens with two extra drumsticks in the pack. We always called them Chernobyl Chickens.
Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline.
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November 28, 2009 12:39 PM
It's genetic, Lilith.
There are breast-men and there are leg-men, and never the twain shall meet.
Posted by: frzz | November 29, 2009 11:29 AM
/rolls eyes
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | November 29, 2009 11:37 AM
Can it really be possible that the Tofurctopus joke has been left for me?
Consider it cracked.
Posted by: mas528 | November 29, 2009 4:55 PM
Can it be that noone has suggested preparing Turoctoquid next year. Or Turbacoctoquid.
I don't care for seafood, so I don't know if that would be an advisable combo.
You'd have to put the squid in after cooking the turkey. If I recall correctly squid cooks really fast, then turns rubbery.