…and this is a 
I'm sorry to have to mention this again, but there's a chance the world will end on Wednesday. The same guy with the website that was designed to make you vomit from your eye sockets, who has been predicting the imminent end of the world over and over again, is predicting the apocalypse again.
Ho hum.
Anyway, I think he's been stung by his repeated failures, and this time he's imbedded his prediction in a conditional. Smart move. Expect further sliding deadlines for the apocalypse, all coupled to improbable pre-conditions. For instance, if a yeti starts nesting in my armpit hair, you should buy a lottery ticket, because you're guaranteed to win.
Here's the latest prediction.
WARNING:
If an economic collapse occurs on 11/9/2009,
THEN:
The Rapture takes place on 11/11/2009!
Color styles are preserved exactly as they are on the source web page, because that's what adds the weight of credibility to his words.
Comments
Posted by: Bret Hall | November 8, 2009 10:58 AM
Notice how he doesn't actually make a prediction this time. He says that "IF A, THEN B". Way to snake out of being wrong!
Posted by: vanharris
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November 8, 2009 11:00 AM
The date format should be:
2009-11-09, or 2009-Nov-09
It's logical & avoids confusion, & is the SI method.
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | November 8, 2009 11:00 AM
Hey, no fair!
That only gives televangelists 2 days to exploit the economic collapse before they get raptured.
Posted by: ckitching | November 8, 2009 11:02 AM
The great thing is that something is bound to collapse on November 9th (companies fail every day, and new one start), even if it is just a single company. So he's almost guaranteed to be right, or wrong entirely depending on if the rapture actually comes on his second date!
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | November 8, 2009 11:03 AM
...and therefore almost nobody in the USA does it that way.
Posted by: mellowjohn | November 8, 2009 11:04 AM
if the rapture does occur, then there'll be a lot of extra $$$ and stuff left behind to be redistributed.
won't that lead to an economic recovery?
Posted by: charlied | November 8, 2009 11:06 AM
the rapture on 11/11? That'll make for an interesting birthday!
Posted by: Monkey's Uncle | November 8, 2009 11:11 AM
Everyone assumes his previous prediction for the Rapture did not come true, but has anybody heard from Fred Phelps lately?
Posted by: Lynna | November 8, 2009 11:12 AM
How is it possible that the guy has not gone blind while working on his website. The site should come with a warning for retinal damage.
Or maybe the bright colors indicate that he is signaling to god. "Please, god, pay attention to my predictions!" Too bad he can't write in blood on his website. A true prophet would pen his prophecies in his own blood.
In one episode of HBO's Big Love, the wife of an FLDS prophet got into major credit card debt because she believed her husband's prophecy for the end of the world. She decided that she might as well have that bedroom set she always wanted, etc. The woman ran up about $30,000 in credit card purchases, thinking she'd never have to pay them off. Her daughter, also a character on the show, picked her mother's bad habits and also ran up a lot of debt.
I have one mormon friend who says she will let me into her armageddon shelter when/if the end comes. There are huge barrels of water in there, plus specially made racks for canned goods and so forth. So, I guess I'm all set. I don't even have to go take the special food storage classes.
It's a beautiful day here so far.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM | November 8, 2009 11:12 AM
The rapture again? I did rake my backyard leaves yesterday. Given this twits track record, I had better finisn up the frontyard today so the city can haul them off (for compost) this week.
Posted by: Sili
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November 8, 2009 11:12 AM
I guess it's convenient that they've generally moved Remembrance to today. It would so embarrassing to have the Queen just disappear out there in public at he Cenotaph.
Speaking of stupid measurements, Bill Nye (the planetary guy) claims that the Orion capsule is being built in Imperial, too. Finally something to set me against the new moon-shoot.
Posted by: Allen | November 8, 2009 11:14 AM
Hint: Just say: "The world ends today." Eventually, you will be right.
Posted by: Mr T | November 8, 2009 11:17 AM
That website is quite painful to look at, much less think about.
What would an economic collapse have to do with it? Is Obama involved in a conspiracy with Jesus?
The website's next page (no, don't worry, I wouldn't bother reading the first) indicates that hell is in the Earth's core and contains Dark Lord Sauron's All-Seeing Eye...
If there is an economic collapse, I guess I'll see you folks there. I'll bring some drinks and a dessert.
Posted by: Mark | November 8, 2009 11:21 AM
This is just another scare tactic.
"Rapture" is not a Biblical word, but was first used/coined by John Darby back in the 1830s.
Even the Bible states that no man will know of of Christ's return.
The whole idea of Christianity is absurd.
Posted by: Hans | November 8, 2009 11:22 AM
At least it's conveniently close (in time). Not like those other ends of the world, which are usually 3 to 10 years away.
Posted by: Hank Fox | November 8, 2009 11:28 AM
There should be a special font for sites like this, Wingnut Wild, with extra exclamation marks, and flashing neon colors.
Gog and Magog always sound like muppets -- sort of homeless alcoholic versions of Statler and Waldorf.
This phrase caught my attention too: "Connecting The Rapture dots for the date of our departure!"
Rapture Dots = Gamer slang for what Pac Man eats. Band name. Street slang for LSD. Freckled pole dancer. Military code name for fresh assault on Taliban based on air-dropping candy wrapped in pictures of freckled pole dancer. Milton Bradley game for preschoolers. Jolt Cola concentrated into candy form.
...................
Anyone here do web pages? Take a look at the source for this guy's web page and tell me what the hell all that crap is. I was all a-Gog.
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip
|
November 8, 2009 11:30 AM
I think I'm going have my wife add these ends of the world to her business plan. Maybe she can get an investor to throw gobs of money at her if she convinces them there's no next quarter anyway.
Posted by: K.B. | November 8, 2009 11:31 AM
Well hot damn! My 40th birthday is on 12/11/2009 - does this mean I get to stay in my thirties forever?????? Woohoo!
Posted by: Andyo
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November 8, 2009 11:35 AM
Holy crap, just get it over with already! Every time I'm just about ready for the raping and pillaging, they postpone it again.
Posted by: Michelle R | November 8, 2009 11:36 AM
...Ow... You just had to leave the colors in, right?
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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November 8, 2009 11:37 AM
I'm as ready for the rapture as the next guy* but this is getting tiresome. If you're going to make predictions about the End of the World™ then don't do "if then" predictions. Figure out a date, publish it, and get it right.
I can hold off buying new tires for another couple of months but I have to know if I should get them or not. We're talking over three hundred bucks so I need to know if I should keep the money for tires or if I can buy a bottle of Port Ellen 30 year old single malt
*Assuming the next guy is someone like Nerd of Redhead or Wowbagger.
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip
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November 8, 2009 11:39 AM
So why would the economy suddenly collapse tomorrow? Does this have something to do with the House of Representatives barely passing a healthcare bill yesterday? Or am I crediting the prophet with even that much lucidity?
Posted by: Bunk | November 8, 2009 11:40 AM
K.B. if you are a True© Christian, you get to stay in your 30's forever, if not, then you can raid the liquor stash of the nearest True© Christian and have a hell of a party. Let us know the address.
Posted by: llewelly | November 8, 2009 11:40 AM
Nonsense. Christ returned on October 22, 1844, exactly as predicted by the great Baptist preacher William Miller. The worthy were taken up into the Kingdom of Heaven. The rest of us were left behind.
Posted by: JimB | November 8, 2009 11:40 AM
Hank Fox:
That's what happens when you build your web site with MS Word.
Posted by: Substitution | November 8, 2009 11:42 AM
I read down that page, somewhat entranced by the hypnotic combination of colours and font sizes, all working to... what the hell, I'm kidding, it's a trainwreck and I stop to watch those too.
In the middle of the page is an apology for getting the dates previously, and a link to his apology on a rapture forum at:
http://www.rapture2009.org/apps/forums/topics/show/1376399-the-rapture-fall-2009-
I'd never come across a group of such imbecilic dupes in the six pages of responses to their apology. I'll admit I have family who come very close to being fundies (in all but their passion to act on their beliefs. Their beliefs are fully there though), but nothing like this.
The first thing I was struck by was how very very close their attitudes and swooning for all the mythological fakery were to teenagers going gaga over a new boy band, a new crappy action hero movie, or kids with new toys.
No wonder christmas is still going strong, the whole want-want-want thing there matches up so closely to these folks' delusions of OMG ONLY TWO MORE SLEEPS UNTIL THE RAPTURE!.
I had no idea.
Posted by: David Harper | November 8, 2009 11:42 AM
Allen #12:
As an astronomer, I can confidently predict that the world will end in around 5 billion years.
Nothing to do with Jebus though. Just astrophysics in action.
Posted by: ckitching
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November 8, 2009 11:44 AM
Okay, I went to that site. I'm regretting it.
He sure salivates over mushroom clouds and world-wide destruction, doesn't he? It's also interesting to see Russia typecast back into the role of supreme villian in his "war of the gog and magog" scenario. I guess he didn't get the memo that the "antichrist" Obama administration has convinced Russia to support controls on nuclear trade with Iran.
It's also shocking how little role the rest of the world has in his nightmare scenario. East Asia, Africa, Australia, western Europe, South America, and Canada/Mexico are completely forgotten. I guess it's not surprising. The US and Israel has to be the righteous force for goodness and puppy-dogs in these types of stories, and none of the remaining countries really fit the role of supreme villian other than the Muslims, and good ole Russia.
I'm sure it'll be just another "Great Disappointment"
Posted by: Gingerbaker
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November 8, 2009 11:45 AM
The guy paraphrases Douglas Adams' story about Deep Thought and the resulting Ultimate Answer to bolster his own apocalyptic theories.
Now that, sir, is just taking things way way too far. Desist and repenteth!
Posted by: OhYes | November 8, 2009 11:46 AM
Has this dude ever herd of pages? There's an entire book on that homepage.
And I get what he's trying to do. When rapture comes, he and his followers will travel back in time to the late 90s through his website.
Posted by: incurable hippie | November 8, 2009 11:46 AM
If it's any consolation, 11/09 has already happened here in the UK. It was the 11th September.
Posted by: Psychodigger | November 8, 2009 11:52 AM
Well you made me look at this dude´s website, and yes, the colour scheme makes your brain melt, but I have to say this. He might be on to something here. I scanned the site by holding down the page down key, and in the three minutes or so it took to scroll down to the bottom, I have seen a lot of stuff fly by. If all of that is evidence, we´re in deep doodoo.
But seriously, at the bottom of the page, there are actually links! And they´re all the same. This man just has to be unemployed, because nobody with an actual life would have the time to collect this pile of drivel. Anyway, he´s clearly insane, which doesn´t help him on the job front, I suppose. Can someone please step in and put this person in a soft room?
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
|
November 8, 2009 11:53 AM
The guy admits he's a false prophet:
Posted by: aratina cage
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November 8, 2009 11:53 AM
Reminds me of Ghostbusters II where an end-of-days kook publishes a book on the topic only weeks before the predicted catastrophe. Just brilliant from a financial point of view. At least here in the South (USA), the "Jesus is Coming" signs remain in place after decades. Once you plonk down a date, you are going to be proven wrong at predicting, and previously credulous people might become skeptical of your abilities.
Posted by: DemetriusOfPharos | November 8, 2009 11:59 AM
@Hank Fox, @JimB
I'd of guessed FrontPage, but its essentially the same thing.
Did anyone else's CPU spike to ~90% usage on that page? The hell is on there that does that? Thank Joe Pesci for Quad-Core processors.
Posted by: Ronaldo Camacho | November 8, 2009 12:00 PM
Cool! The rapture will be on my birthday!
If the scriptures are correct, the dead will rise from their graves during the short period before the end. Which means Coltrane, Ayler and Sun Ra will come back and I might be able to jam with them before we all head to the lake for the ultimate gig.
Much more interesting than the New Jerusalem, for sure!
Posted by: raven | November 8, 2009 12:01 PM
Is this that sophisticated theology that Armstrong and the theologians keep talking about?
Someone who knows more about the Failed Xian Prediction website of this thread said that they have been predicting the End for years now. Every time it doesn't happen, the date gets moved out a few months. In a few weeks, another date will be set.
Posted by: John Vreeland | November 8, 2009 12:01 PM
On the Internet Loony Scale this guy is very small change indeed. Clearly most of you have never visited Usenet.
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | November 8, 2009 12:05 PM
Really? It strikes me as specifically Chinese.
That said, the specifically American method is of course confusing to me. At first I thought "was there an economic collapse on the 11th of September? I couldn't have missed it"...
The Bible even states that Christ Himself doesn't know the date of His Own return (with interesting implications for the Trinity, and with a mess of contradictions to other Biblical passages).
...which is not to say that there wasn't some kind of upper limit on it, though:
Oh well.
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
|
November 8, 2009 12:07 PM
John Vreeland #39
Granted, the guy's only about .3 Time Cube, but he's still worth mocking.
Posted by: gettingfree | November 8, 2009 12:07 PM
They really need to finally get the date right. After all, I can't keep having wild days of debauchery leading up to each of these failed end dates, and then have to do it all over again several times a year! It's taking a toll on me. :)
Posted by: Pareidolius | November 8, 2009 12:08 PM
About halfway down the quarter mile-long page, nestled amid the screeching ALL CAPS Times Roman and Arial are his matrices! These have a pseudoscientific look with lots of complicated hebrew symbols, grids and overlays. I refuse to burn the brain cells required to find out what they're supposed to mean but they look vaguely like the periodic table of the idiots. I'm pretty sure one of the elements is batshit.
Instead of a fixed date for when the lord will Hoover up the faithful, there is now a "Rapture Window". This his predictions a bit more breathing room, since his invisible friend is being a bit coy with the whole end-times thing. This kind of behavior is unseemly for a deity and comes off as a bit mean, making our frantic oracle seem a bit like the Goy who cried wolf.
How many times is he gonna try to kick that football?
Posted by: Naked Bunny with a Whip
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November 8, 2009 12:09 PM
Mmm, well, it is a 128K HTML file with 310K of embedded files and countless YouTube links. That all has to be parsed, converted into a DOM, and rendered.
Posted by: raven | November 8, 2009 12:14 PM
Not sure why this prophet is beating himself up. Chances are no one took it seriously. Anyone who did either learned a valuable lesson or is too dumb to worry about.
Xians have been predicting the end for 2,000 years and it is always wrong and always will be. Before that, some groups of Jews were doing the same thing.
FWIW, the Rapture End Times beliefs are among the more malevolent of some religions that call themselves xianity. What is so good about god showing up, destroying the earth, and killing 6.7 billion people. This is the action of an inept, incompetent, genocidal maniac god. Who would be the ultimate mass murderer unless we discover UFO aliens. Then god can kill them too. Best I can say, at least this god is just made up fiction
Posted by: minus | November 8, 2009 12:15 PM
Do these crackpots go to a special web design school? It's great because you don't even have to read the text to know that a crackpot is in charge. I've learned to recognize this style and save a lot of time. As soon as you see this color combination, you know.
Posted by: BAllanJ | November 8, 2009 12:16 PM
WORLD ENDS AT MIDNIGHT
11 central time
Posted by: Kawa | November 8, 2009 12:16 PM
@minus: What color scheme? Hotdog Stand perhaps? :D
Posted by: ckitching
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November 8, 2009 12:17 PM
<meta name=Generator content="Microsoft Word 9">
Why am I not surprised?
Posted by: Stuart | November 8, 2009 12:18 PM
When folks say to me, 'don't worry it's not the end of the world', I always feel a pang of disappointment.
I'll get some help.
Posted by: Madrigalia
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November 8, 2009 12:19 PM
Every one of those predictions about the world ending has been true. It's just that the world has a great checkpoint-restart mechanism, and so it just starts over from where it left off, and we never notice.
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | November 8, 2009 12:20 PM
And what happens to false prophets?
Hmmmmmmmmmmm?
Guessed it yet?
Of course.
"Can"? "Rights"?
It seems to be our holy fucking duty.
Posted by: Acronym Jim | November 8, 2009 12:25 PM
Hmmm, in perusing the site, I've come to a conclusion (after recovering from the epileptic spell). The text is only one indication of rapture date, but not if read literally. The site is in code.
Hence, only the faithful and Dan Brown can figure out the actual date of the rapture.
Posted by: stogoe | November 8, 2009 12:27 PM
Do you blokes never get tired of being smug grammar pedants, then?
D'ye never say August 5th or March 21st or November 11th? The author of this blog resides in America; if you are unable or unwilling to acknowledge that Americans use American spellings/grammar, you can kindly go bugger yourself with razor wire.
Posted by: ckitching
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November 8, 2009 12:28 PM
Oh, this is rich. Check out the time share/pyramid scheme scam on that same site.
Posted by: ereador
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November 8, 2009 12:31 PM
Hank Fox @#16: He wrote the website in microsoft word; all that junk in the source code is automated formatting, used by website writing software to cover all the bases.
I really do think it is wonderful that anyone can do a website -- first amendment=freedom to spew -- and also that anyone is empowered not to read it.
I absolutely love the intertubes!
Posted by: Desert Son
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November 8, 2009 12:36 PM
Sorry, this week's no good for me on the apocalypse. Simply too busy. I've got through December fairly solidly booked. Please check back in January 2010 for possible availability.
[New complementary close under construction],
Robert
Posted by: Tor A H | November 8, 2009 12:37 PM
Isn't it obvious? The world did already ended on all of his previous predictions. Someone just keeps inserting coins to continue.
Posted by: John | November 8, 2009 12:38 PM
WARNING:
If rapture guy posts another prediction,
THEN:
PZ will rehash the craziness on his site, month after month after month!
Posted by: Eidolon | November 8, 2009 12:40 PM
PZ - thanks for that site. It has to be abso-fuckin-lutely the most concentrated bat shit crazyness anywhere. And the colors - my monitor will need recalibration before I do any more printing.
As for dates, DDMMYY makes the most sense, but I have taken to 08 NOV 2009 for example to eliminate any ambiguity.
Posted by: Lynna | November 8, 2009 12:43 PM
Recipe for insomnia.Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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November 8, 2009 12:45 PM
Apparently you're unaware of Time Cube with Dr. Gene Ray, Cube Phenomenologist and THE WISEST HUMAN.
Posted by: roestigraben | November 8, 2009 12:47 PM
"Astronomical signs prove 100% that the ending of the 7-year tribulation period is at the end of 2015! Therefore, the beginning of the 7-year Tribulation period starts by FALL 2009!"
...either he revised his prediction so often that he got a little bit confused, or his subpar math skills cast a tiny little doubt on the accuracy of his calculations.
Posted by: PZ Myers
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November 8, 2009 12:50 PM
How dare you question his math skills! Did you see this?
Posted by: Marcus Ranum | November 8, 2009 12:52 PM
Time Cube with Dr. Gene Ray, Cube Phenomenologist and THE WISEST HUMAN.
Yeah, I think he's still ahead of his closest competitor by a couple miles. In fact I not even sure who's close. Happeh, maybe.
Posted by: Lynna | November 8, 2009 12:54 PM
From the insanity on the Time Cube site that 'Tis linked to @61:
"Love for a Queer God is Evil enough to kill you." I may have gotten some of the initial caps wrong there, but I'm not going back to that damned website to check. Shudder.
Posted by: Hank Fox | November 8, 2009 12:54 PM
Is the Time Cube originator the illegitimate son of Dr. Bronner?
Posted by: Desert Son
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November 8, 2009 12:56 PM
Eidolon,
Agreed. I adopted DDMMYY after the year I lived in Scotland, and use the form you cited when writing dates here in the U.S., unless it's a government document, for example, that asks for the date in the U.S. MMDDYY way.
Now, if the U.S. would just switch to the metric system . . . .
[New complementary close under construction],
Robert
Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM | November 8, 2009 12:57 PM
In red, yellow, black, white, and blue
We are told when The Rapture is due
If that is when it ends,
I won't see it, my friends--
I'm planning to die from this flu.
*cough, hack, wheeze, shiver, shudder, wretch, etc.*
Posted by: Hank Fox | November 8, 2009 1:01 PM
PZ #63 "How dare you question his math skills! Did you see this? 'Every three seconds someone dies, that’s 180 every minute.'
You're not tuned into the wingnut spectrum, PZ.
The ones who die every three seconds are natives of the planet Cargg. You know, like Triplicate Girl of the Legion of Super Heroes.
(I know that's still not 180, but it's close enough that if you squint your eyes through a Bible-induced haze, it works out.)
Posted by: Desert Son
|
November 8, 2009 1:03 PM
Cuttlefish, OM,
Commiserations on your illness, and best wishes for a speedy recovery.
[New complementary close under construction],
Robert
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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November 8, 2009 1:04 PM
The NATO militaries give dates in the style 09 NOV 08.
Posted by: Irene Delse | November 8, 2009 1:06 PM
Oh, noes! You cruel atheists,how dare you make fun of a guy with a disability, again?? The website PZ links to is obviously the work of a color-blind/b> individual! We should show compassion instead of mocking him. Really, how rude!!
(clutches pearls in shame)
Posted by: Thanny
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November 8, 2009 1:07 PM
DD/MM/YYYY is just as "non-standard" as MM/DD/YYYY.
In the US, we say the month, then the day. So that's how the date is written. Where the day precedes the month (e.g. Germany), it's written that way.
Each method is a local custom.
The only "standard" way of writing a date is year-month-day, which is used mostly to facilitate computer sorting, and only secondarily alleviates confusion when read by humans from different parts of the world.
Posted by: Irene Delse | November 8, 2009 1:09 PM
Damn. I made a mess of my html. And with the help of the Text Formatting toolbar, even. >
(Blushes in real shame, this time.)
Posted by: Varangian | November 8, 2009 1:11 PM
Perhaps his website is intelligently designed? It shows all signs of being a "special" creation...
Posted by: Roland J Branconnier | November 8, 2009 1:11 PM
As I always say: If you are going to predict, predict often. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | November 8, 2009 1:21 PM
It warms a pedant's heart to be able to pedantize the esteemed and obviously highly lettered Cutttlefish!
Although you may well feel wretched, and perhaps you are reduced to being a wretch, but your list of verbs needed "retch."
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | November 8, 2009 1:23 PM
...aaaaand, the traditional pedantry grammar fail. *shrug*
Posted by: boygenius | November 8, 2009 1:29 PM
Can someone recommend a procedure to degauss my brain?
Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM | November 8, 2009 1:29 PM
Sven DiMilo, I never will kvetch
At correction from "wretch" into "retch"
My excuse is a strain
On my feverish brain--
Not an organ I typically stretch.
Posted by: Clemens | November 8, 2009 1:47 PM
It's all because NASA nuked the moon.
Posted by: Didac
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November 8, 2009 1:58 PM
To milions and milions of people actually in an economic collapse due to joblessness, it is very difficult to understand what he means by "economic collapse" in 11/9 (tomorrow). Two points low in the Dow Jones?
Posted by: davem
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November 8, 2009 1:59 PM
OK, big question of the day is:
Why have register4less.com parked the rapture2010.org domain address?
After all, we know that nobody will ever want to use that for a domain....
Posted by: Dania
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November 8, 2009 1:59 PM
They have the most convincing argument for hell's existence ever:
Jesus predicted giant tube worms! 'Cause he talked about worms when he was talking about hell, and giant tube worms live so close to hell*. Another biblical prophecy was fulfilled!
*You see, hell begins right below the Earth's crust. I'm guessing that the "edge of the fire" is the Mohorovicic discontinuity. Except that I'm pretty sure they got their numbers wrong there (normally 50 miles? Isn't that too much?).
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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November 8, 2009 2:00 PM
NASA did not nuke the Moon. If they had, it would have fallen into the Sun and we'd all be dead. Since you're not dead, the Moon remains unnuked. QE fucking D.
Posted by: Rey Fox | November 8, 2009 2:02 PM
Well, the health care bill just passed the House, so the world must be about to end.
Posted by: Didac
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November 8, 2009 2:02 PM
There is a Catalan web actually counting down to 11/11.
Posted by: MikeTheInfidel | November 8, 2009 2:04 PM
For more nuttiness you might have missed, check out his discussion of the "Illuminati: NWO" collectible card game. It's... hilariously bizarre. You can also read his screed about how "web bots" are predicting World War III, which features such unique eccentricities as bulleted lists using the letter 'y' as a bullet...
Posted by: Biology Blogger | November 8, 2009 2:05 PM
What constitutes an economic collapse for the fundies? Fred Phelps dropping a dollar on the street and never finding it again?
Posted by: cimddwc | November 8, 2009 2:07 PM
He's right this time!
- Tomorrow, Nov 9, is the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. The official celebration includes huge dominoes being toppled as a symbol for the fall of the Wall; compared to re-erecting and tearing down an actual concrete wall, this is certainly cheaper, i.e. more economic – so the economic collapse is given.
- Nov 11, 11:11am marks the beginning of the carnival season (in some areas), and several hours later, many “fools” will certainly be “raptured” from solid ground – by alcolol.
OMG! Bow down to the new prophet!! HE SPOKE THE TRUTH!!!one
Guess I'll start copying his web design style for all my sites, that must give me some advantage in heaven!
:D
Posted by: Tybo | November 8, 2009 2:09 PM
So as long as the antecedent is false, then the statement as a whole is true... right?
Holy crap, he might be on to something!
Posted by: Kausik Datta | November 8, 2009 2:09 PM
Cuttlefish at #80: I am speechless in wonderment, and bow before your great talent.
Sven di Milo at #78: Is the alleged grammar fail referring to the simultaneous use of the 'Although' conditional and 'but' in a single sentence?
Posted by: AnswersInGenitals | November 8, 2009 2:15 PM
I don't understand why these rapturists don't just use the meteorologists method for never being wrong and make predictions like: "There is a 70% chance of the rapture occurring next thursday, decreasing to a 40% chance by friday afternoon."
They can then add their conditional prerequisites on top of that, leading to Billy Dempski teaching a theology course on Bayesian Prophesy.
Posted by: Peter Lanado | November 8, 2009 2:17 PM
Is this a global economic collapse, a country economic collapse, a city economic collapse (bear with me), a business collapse or an individual personal economic bankruptcy collapse?
Posted by: vanharris
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November 8, 2009 2:22 PM
Eidolon @ 59
DDMMYY is smaller unit to larger unit, then when you write the time, you go HHminmin. That grates on me.
2009-11-08 19:22 (as it now is in the UK) is consistent (larger unit to smaller unit) & is the ISO standard.
Posted by: daveau
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November 8, 2009 2:23 PM
I don't believe it. Everybody knows you can't have a rapture on a holiday.
(This time for sure. Button up my sleeve...)
Posted by: Eidolon | November 8, 2009 2:24 PM
Tis @61:
Damn - you might be right. TimeCube is a wonder of bat shit craziness that does seem to surpass the subject of this thread.
Got any more entries for my 'nutcase' folder?
Posted by: daveau
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November 8, 2009 2:26 PM
Or is it "Nothin' up my sleeve"?
Posted by: Don Teuton | November 8, 2009 2:33 PM
Nothing screams apocalypse quite like Comic Sans.
Posted by: CStack | November 8, 2009 2:51 PM
Did anyone else notice their crappy math skills?
"Astronomical signs prove 100% that the ending of the
7-year tribulation period is at the end of 2015!
Therefore, the beginning of the 7-year
Tribulation period starts by FALL 2009!"
2015-7=2009?
Posted by: Dr. P | November 8, 2009 2:54 PM
Look this whole rapture thing is going to be seriously anticlimactic unless somebody organizes a "Rapture/Going Away Extravaganza and After Party"...beer, shellfish, bacon, the works....it'll be like New Years eve, with a countdown and everything, then the real party starts after. I don't know, it'll either be hellfire and brimstone or lasting rational peace on earth, either way beating the current shitfest hands down....( yeah, I don't really believe the everlasting peace thing either)
Posted by: Beth B.
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November 8, 2009 3:05 PM
Dania @ 84:
Yeah, that's the impression I got. Though if we're going by the Moho=the top of Hell, the continental crust is typically ~20-something miles thick instead of 50. So what I want to know is, if the mantle is Hell, what is the core? Do we perhaps go through various levels of hell: mantle lithosphere, asthenosphere, transition zone, lower mantle, D``, outer core, inner core? Hey, look! I got to seven circles of Hell! (Or more like spherical shells. Either way, I demand royalties from whatever nut picks up on this.)
Posted by: Kel, OM | November 8, 2009 3:09 PM
The term "unsinkable rubber ducks" comes to mind. Seriously, you'd think by now with so many unsuccessful predictions that they would call the apocalypse hypothesis falsified and just get on with their lives. After all, existence isn't so bad...
Posted by: Souljacker | November 8, 2009 3:11 PM
..and how do you know you're right this time?
... Well I've been wrong so many times before, by the law of averages I've got to be right this time.
Posted by: Lars | November 8, 2009 3:12 PM
Ofcourse he was wrong about the Rapture: That was God's will!!11 From one of the comments on the rapture forum:
"There had to be an initial call "The Bridegroom cometh" before there could be a delay."
See? It was meant to happen.
TSIB.
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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November 8, 2009 3:14 PM
This is a bunch of folks who rely on a book which gives π = 3.
Posted by: Red John | November 8, 2009 3:21 PM
#16
He created the site with an MS Office product and then saved it as a webpage. And, anyone who has viewed the source on that site now knows why that's a bad idea.
Posted by: tim gueguen | November 8, 2009 3:46 PM
The folks at Rapture Ready actually do keep a Rapture Index. The November 2nd rating was 166, with the all time high being 182 on September 24, 2001.
http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html
Posted by: Zetetic
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November 8, 2009 3:58 PM
Wait! The world is ending again!!!
Damn it! I just finished cleaning up from the last Apocalypse, and now they're throwing another one?
This time I'm sending the cleaning bill to those jokers! Let's see how funny they think it is then!
[Damn fundies throwing an Apocalypse every other month...humph!]
Posted by: Chakolate | November 8, 2009 4:20 PM
I think we should ask him to put it in writing. I mean that he should sign a statement that on the day that he claims is the apocalypse, he agrees to leave the planet, whether or not the apocalypse occurs. In return, we would agree to let him talk about it as much as he likes beforehand.
A sort of 'put your money where your mouth is' deal.
Posted by: Willy | November 8, 2009 4:21 PM
I'm told the Rapture will be a wonderful event, when all believers yadda yadda bing bong.
If it's such a wonderful thing, why is the guy issuing a warning about it?
Posted by: JimB | November 8, 2009 4:22 PM
Perhaps thinking of a magnet. Really really hard.Posted by: Aquaria | November 8, 2009 4:30 PM
I'm planning to die from this flu.
Aw, honey, I know what you mean. I had it about a month ago. Thought I was gonna die. I didn't eat for three days, and could barely keep down fluids--but forced myself to endure them, and of course NyQuil (I love NyQuil).
Good news: You'll most likely make it through. Eventually.
Bad news: It lingers like a motherfucker. Four weeks after it, and I still have bouts of hoarseness, sore throat, congestion, cough, sneezing, etc.
Good news for me: My respiratory system has been so messed up for so long that I couldn't smoke--and that lasted long enough for me to quit. There's 50 bucks a week I get back. Woo-hoo!
Posted by: WMDKitty | November 8, 2009 4:54 PM
So... see you all on the 12th?
Posted by: Codswallop | November 8, 2009 4:56 PM
Warning: If dire predictions of doom and disaster don't come true, there will be more dire predictions on a later date.
Posted by: DominEditrix | November 8, 2009 4:59 PM
Somehow, on this day of rest [we bought a new bed this morning; ergo, it is a day of rest], I am overcome with a desire to log on to that rapture website and castigate the Revs as False Prophets!!! And to save their followers from Satanic Deceit! For only $10, you too can be saved from the Voice of Satan and learn the True Date of the Rapture™! I have, after all, walked in the Garden of Gethsemane [and much to my parents' embarrassment, climbed an ancient olive tree], so I have been closer to Our Lord Jesus Christ than
those colour-challenged idiotsthe Revs.Somewhere, I have an angel outfit my son wore to a Hallowe'en party; I figure that can double as my robes when I go on TV to address the masses. I'm sure my cats will adore their soon-to-be-donated air-conditioned cat house. Now I need to go buy
somelots of mascara.Posted by: Randy
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November 8, 2009 5:29 PM
My eyes! I've seen MySpace pages that load faster-- and look better-- than that. Honest to God (figuratively), MySpace pages. Contrasting colors, lack of CSS, need I even mention the Comic Sans?
Posted by: tresmal | November 8, 2009 5:36 PM
Eidolon @97 "Got any more entries for my 'nutcase' folder?"
You might find this site helpful,or interesting or depressing or...
Posted by: Teliria | November 8, 2009 6:23 PM
After a weekend of the TLC channel (aka: Lets Celebrate Irresponsible Procreation channel), I actually think Armageddon would be a GOOD thing at at this point. I am putting out hay for the horses ... I may even spring for some grain to entice them sooner.
Posted by: Rick R | November 8, 2009 7:05 PM
Sorry, but god told me this morning that he won't be ending the world until after the final season of "Lost" has aired.
He's a Hurley fan, by the way.
Posted by: FlameDuck | November 8, 2009 7:24 PM
Wait. Why are you guys mocking him? He's clearly mentally ill! Doing the same thing (predicting the coming of the apocalypse), and expecting a different result (that it actually happens this time around).
At least the 2012 crazies were smart enough to pick a date set far enough into the future, that by the time it doesn't happen, no one will be able to remember who the source of all the crazy is.
Posted by: Sniper | November 8, 2009 7:24 PM
Posted by: charlied | November 8, 2009 11:06 AM
the rapture on 11/11? That'll make for an interesting birthday!
It's my birthday, too. I'm hoping to score a new car or maybe a scooter from someone who's been raptured.
Posted by: Meathead | November 8, 2009 7:36 PM
Why is internet lunacy always so colorful? My relatives used to send me anti-climate science and anti-Obama rants that they got from their right wing email lists and they were always infested with garish colors and animated gifs of freedumb eagles and "don't tread on me's". I guess when you don't have an argument that makes sense in words you appeal with piKtuures.
Maybe if we took up this line of "argument". Make evolution into a psychedelic comic book with T-rex-the-sky-with-diamonds. We'd finally beat the kooks maybe?
Posted by: Somnolent Aphid
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November 8, 2009 8:26 PM
i mean, sooner or later he's bound to get it right, except for the rapture part, eh?
Posted by: DominEditrix | November 8, 2009 8:36 PM
123: Just think of the audience that most adores bright colours and animated animals. Then reflect that small children also believe in fairies, the Easter Bunny and Santa.
Posted by: Andyman | November 8, 2009 9:16 PM
Two hours before Midday on the 9th of Novemeber here and Aussie still hasn't turned to custard yet
Posted by: Dust
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November 8, 2009 9:42 PM
If this Rapture prophet/predictor guy would just hold off on his prediction for two years until 11/11/11, at least we wouldn't be arguing about how to write the correct date!
Posted by: OurDeadSelves | November 8, 2009 9:47 PM
I should know by now not to click on fundie links when I'm hung over...
Excuse me, I have to barf now.
Posted by: Graham | November 8, 2009 10:12 PM
Astronomical signs prove 100% that the ending of the
7-year tribulation period is at the end of 2015!
I guess there's no point in hanging on to my retirement savings then.
Posted by: gcaveman1 | November 8, 2009 10:22 PM
If the economic collapse occurs tomorrow, it will have to be extra-American, since all the banks will be closed for VET's day.
I see PZ's picking on the mentally ill again.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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November 8, 2009 10:27 PM
Or do they pick on him by e-mailing their lunacy to him?Posted by: Ryan F Stello | November 8, 2009 11:00 PM
Almost makes me want to use my quantum linear super-position skills to talk Gore out of supporting the expansion of the internet.
Posted by: ellenjanuary | November 8, 2009 11:18 PM
The joyful diversity of the human spirit, idiots be praised; keeping us colorful, and all. It was my thought that the Revelations BS was specific to around 400 c.e., but what do I know? So I read it, interpreted it myownself. Fall of Babylon? Disruption of capitalism wrought from the advent of Open Source. End times? Simple. Time just may not exist. The craziest one being the Mark of the Beast. Read that part carefully - what doorway is the narrowest path moreso than the one of our darkest fears. Take the mark and shut yer hole, the book says. How do we know? Because the only place the Lamb makes his appearance is through door number three. What is the mark? Subscription. Ever been to a club or amusemment park? There's your mark - your ticket to ride. And what is actually portended is the synergy of man and machine. Don't matter anyway; last paragraph is an escape clause. The last line is merely a blessing. There really ain't nothing wrong with god nor the Bible. Reading comprehension, however... needs improvement. ;)
Posted by: Ben S | November 8, 2009 11:40 PM
So you guys think I should short sell JP Morgan tomorrow morning?
Posted by: Meathead | November 9, 2009 12:20 AM
Ryan wrote: Almost makes me want to use my quantum linear super-position skills to talk Gore out of supporting the expansion of the internet.
You're forgetting about DARK INTERNET. This poorly understood force insures that eventually, Al Gore or not, all internet nodes other than your own will become invisible to you. In other words, get your porn now or make it yourself!
Posted by: Guest Pest | November 9, 2009 1:54 AM
#36 said:
"It's after the end of the world! Don't you know that yet?" -- Sun Ra
Posted by: Joel
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November 9, 2009 2:02 AM
Interesting study describing group response to failed prophecies (for people who might want to look at this from a social science standpoint, rather than a "look at all the idiots" standpoint -- not that you can't do both):
{PDF Link} http://caliber.ucpress.net/doi/pdf/10.1525/nr.1999.3.1.60
Posted by: mythusmage
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November 9, 2009 2:14 AM
You ever consider the possibility that what Jesus was talking about was death? That death comes unexpectedly, taking people by surprise, taking one and leaving another.
If so, then every time somebody dies they have been raptured. If so, then should a mass rapture event occur spontaneously on Nov. 11th we are going to have one massive mass death event.
What would the effect on society be if tens of millions, hundreds of millions, maybe even a billion or more people suddenly dropped dead? How would things change?
Posted by: OurSally | November 9, 2009 2:48 AM
Oh dammit, I just paid for my new tyres in advance and they will not be delivered till next week.
Do I get my money back if the rapture occurs? It didn't say anything about rapture in the small print.
Posted by: Nurse Diesel | November 9, 2009 4:04 AM
It might be true. October the 11th is The Independence Day in Poland. You know what it means.
Posted by: Graham | November 9, 2009 6:19 AM
Cmon guys. Bit of a soft target isnt it ?
Posted by: Monty | November 9, 2009 6:28 AM
Astronomical signs prove 100% that the ending of the
7-year tribulation period is at the end of 2015!
This is my favourite part. Thanks to his bad arithmetic this vegetable doesn't appreciate that all his believer buddies were raptured a year ago and he's been left behind with the rest of us sinners. Welcome to the apocalypse, pumpkin!
Posted by: Dancaban | November 9, 2009 7:31 AM
I'll have to spend, spend, spend (again).
Posted by: Harry | November 9, 2009 7:36 AM
Graham @ 141
He is a soft target but why don't other end-times kooks give him some support?
Tim @ 108
Rapture Index - They love to see things going wrong as it indicates the coming of the end - except for global warming, which is considered to be hype.
Posted by: Steve in Dublin | November 9, 2009 8:37 AM
Why not try the homeopathic approach: grind up a bit of magnet and dilute to 30C. But don't use more than a drop of the final solution or... aaggghhhh!
Posted by: Knockgoats | November 9, 2009 9:49 AM
It would so embarrassing to have the Queen just disappear out there in public at he Cenotaph. - Sili
Won't happen. Since she's a shape-shifting alien reptiloid, she'll just revert to her true shape, and start devouring dignitaries.
Posted by: --E | November 9, 2009 9:51 AM
Well, it's not quite 10am EST and the Dow has already surged past 10,100. Things are looking good for humanity making it until Thursday.
Darn. I have a doctor's appt on Wednesday that I would rather miss.
Posted by: LexAequitas | November 9, 2009 10:06 AM
My son has a book report due Wednesday. He'll be annoyed after all the work he's done on it.
Posted by: Smiling Skeptic | November 9, 2009 10:17 AM
Sooooo.... What happens if the "economic collapse" occurs only in, say, France?
Do the Four Horsemen speak French?
Posted by: Knockgoats | November 9, 2009 10:24 AM
Good news for me: My respiratory system has been so messed up for so long that I couldn't smoke--and that lasted long enough for me to quit. There's 50 bucks a week I get back. Woo-hoo! - Aquaria
Hey, well done! Don't relapse! (Talking of the end times, I hear even Hell has now gone non-smoking - well, lots of smoking, but only the flesh of the damned!)
Posted by: Chris | November 9, 2009 11:19 AM
Vincent Flanders is featuring this site as today's Daily Sucker on Web Pages That Suck.
It's a strong contender for Worst Web Site of 2009 ;)
Posted by: Ben S | November 9, 2009 11:37 AM
CNN 20 minutes ago:
"Dow surges to 52-week high" Darn
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | November 9, 2009 1:09 PM
Whew, we're safe.... for now
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN
Posted by: David Marjanović, OM | November 9, 2009 2:30 PM
If you go that far from a literal interpretation, why try clinging to the text at all? Here's Mark 13:1–31 for you.
What? The Danish queen, too?
Posted by: Hellcrapdamn | November 9, 2009 3:17 PM
Why is it that all these fundie psychopaths have the same ridiculous eye-burning format? This is about the millionth site I've come across with the exact same layout and nauseating color scheme.
Posted by: NJK | November 9, 2009 4:21 PM
Damn. Dow is up 200 points today. Guess that means another prediction bites the dust.
Too bad. Really.
Some of these fundies need to take a class in Judaism so that they can find out that a lot of these things are symbolism. BUUUT that would only mean they would have to think more on their own and that apparently is too much.... unless its about, y'know researching random crap in a book passed down for generations as a verbal story that evolved as the society of nomads, who coming across wondrous things were pressed into trying to explain things. Much like a generational game of telephone.
But whatever. you take the first letter from the 7th page of the 7th.. nevermind.
Posted by: Joe | November 9, 2009 5:15 PM
I apparently missed the global economic collapse. Does that mean I don't get Raptured now?
Posted by: Ray Z | November 10, 2009 2:18 PM
No. No. No! If you wanna do a 1997ish retro-style web page, omitting hordes of animated GIFs and zero-contrast tiled background just won't do!
Interesting outbound links. Here's a "daily prayer against demons" page: http://www.demonbuster.com/daily.html
My favourite item:
Finally, a compelling reason to convert to theism.
Posted by: Mike | November 10, 2009 6:41 PM
A reason to convert to theism? There's a better one than that.
There are several theories as to how the moon formed: 1) knocked off by a passing object, 2) captured by Earth's gravity as it passed by, 3)spun off of a spinning Earth...there are many possibilities.
The amazing thing is not that we have a moon, but that it is the perfect size and distance from the Earth, as well as the perfect distance from the Sun, to produce the most amazingly beautiful total solar eclipses, be they annular or total. The disks are even aligned perfectly at times to produce the "diamond ring" effect. It doesn't get any more beautiful than that.
An accident? Can we even calculate the odds?
Mike
Posted by: Dania
|
November 11, 2009 4:00 PM
THE perfect distance? You do know that the distance between the Earth and the Moon is not a fixed and unchanging quantity, don't you? Actually, the Moon is receding from us at about 3.8 centimeters per year.
So, my question is: Why is God taking the moon away from us?
Posted by: harold malin | November 11, 2009 6:09 PM
for all those that would mock god and the coming rapture; The reason why these individuals continue with these rature predications is that as a christ believing christian, we truly fear god and the coming sorrows that shall be brought apon this earth. Perhaps there predications of an hour and date may be wrong the fear of pending doom is very much real. When this rapture does happen and you are left behind, remember this; deny christ in this life and he will deny you in the life to come. May you truly find christ and therfore god.
Posted by: Knockgoats | November 11, 2009 6:35 PM
Perhaps there predications of an hour and date may be wrong the fear of pending doom is very much real. - harold moron
Harry, baby, we know morons like you enjoy gloating over how the rest of us will end up in Hell being tortured by the infinitely evil tyrant you worship. So just fuck off and die, mkay?
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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November 11, 2009 6:41 PM
Why should you fear a non-existent being? Also, even if a omnipotent omnipresent being existed, why would it be interested in your grubby ant shit like being?Posted by: aratina cage
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November 11, 2009 6:42 PM
"the coming rapture" should be "the eternally coming rapture". It ain't happening, harry.
Posted by: Fern
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November 11, 2009 6:51 PM
harold malin @ 161 -
Wow. Your life sounds swell! "Fear of pending doom" totally makes me want to "find christ and therfore god."
Posted by: Wowbagger, OM | November 11, 2009 6:58 PM
If I was a Christian, I'd fear the Christian god as well - he's a demonstrated monster who revels in causing pain, misery, torture, homicide, infanticide, genocide, ethnic cleansing, rape, destruction and every other form of unpleasantness.
The bigger question is here is how anyone who's a Christian justifies not living in fear.
But, since such a being does not exist means that I don't have to waste any of my life either crapping myself in fear that he's watching me do something he considers to be bad or pretending to suck up to him because he, in his most monstrous of acts, choose to order us to cower before him.
Posted by: Ben in Texas | November 11, 2009 6:59 PM
harold, put your faith in osiris or you will burn in hell. that's a promise. have a nice day.
Posted by: Proud Kuffar | November 11, 2009 10:02 PM
Ya fundies are all nutbars neener neener neener!
Hooahahahahahahaha!
Posted by: Joel
|
November 12, 2009 12:07 PM
Hrm. This quote from one of William Miller's acolytes seems appropriate:
“I waited all Tuesday and dear Jesus did not come;– I waited all the forenoon of Wednesday, and was well in body as I ever was, but after 12 o’clock I began to feel faint, and before dark I needed someone to help me up to my chamber, as my natural strength was leaving me very fast, and I lay prostrate for 2 days without any pain– sick with disappointment.”
Posted by: Mike | November 12, 2009 9:18 PM
Dania, at that rate, the moon will be about four football fields farther away in 10,000 years. If God's taking it away, he's certainly not taking it away very fast.
At any rate, Revelation declares that there will be a new Heaven and a new Earth--no need for the old ones.
If mine and others' theory about the six days of creation equating to 6000 years of man's existence before the seventh "day" of rest holds, we won't be needing the moon but for another 1000 years or so.
Using Bible timelines, the Earth since Adam and Even has gone through 6000 years. In all that time, only during the last century have we finally managed to exponentially ramp up technological knowledge to a point where the end-time prophecies in scripture can actually be fulfilled, i.e.:
Daniel 12:4
But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased.
and,
Revelation 13:17
And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
No mark, no food or anything else.
This doesn't even take into account the fulfilled biblical prophecies concerning Israel becoming a nation again and recapturing Jerusalem, that happened in 1948 and 1967, respectively.
Israel, little ol' Israel...The world's obsessive fascination for bringing peace to a tiny strip of land no bigger than New Jersey has really got to bug those that disdain the Bible. But, hey, the Bible said it would be like this.
Yes, Jesus is just about to make his appearance again, except this time not as a lamb to be slaughtered in payment for everything filthy we've ever thought, said, or did, but as the Lion of the tribe of Judah.
Fasten your seat belts! Things are about to get really interesting!
Mike
Posted by: aratina cage
|
November 12, 2009 9:31 PM
Mike #170, we atheists are not the ones waiting. We don't even give a flying fuck about your prophecy or Jesus or the age of such-and-such an event in the Bible. We just think it is funny how you people stand around waiting for something that is never gonna happen.
Posted by: Ryan F Stello | November 12, 2009 9:43 PM
Maybe, but then anything must be interesting to such a bore.
Posted by: Mike | November 12, 2009 9:47 PM
Oh, yeah, Dania...you didn't answer my question about the odds.
Speaking of odds, calculate this--any statisticians out there?
Think back about 4.6 billion years--back to Earth's chemical soup out of which, supposedly, life sprang.
Floating around is carbon, oxygen, nitrogen, other elements...a lot of them, one would think.
Now, what are the odds of carbon combining in just such a way with oxygen and other elements such that the first organic molecule is formed. How many mismatches must have occurred before the right combination popped up, do you suppose?
Now, these molecules have to accidentally combine with others to form amino acids, then proteins, etc. How many mismatches (trial and error, after all) must have happened before a right combination popped up here?
Ok, now consider the parts of a single-celled organism. There's a good number of different parts, each with a specific function, otherwise the organism dies. Now, how many mismatches do you suppose occurred before presto, we have a living, reproducing, one-celled organism?
In case you haven't guessed already, we've already run into pretty big numbers, numbers I probably can't even begin to calculate, not being the statistician and all.
Ok, now we go from a single-celled creature to a multi-celled one. Again, a great number of mismatches would logically have to occur before the right combination comes together.
Somewhere in all this we have a what is called a "beneficial mutation" to get from whatever species we started with to another species. Again (I know this is sounding redundant), how many non-beneficial mutations do you suppose we go through to get to one that helps us bridge that species bridge to that other species?
Considering that there are over 1,000,000 different species of insects (not including the 5 to 10 million that some scientists admit we may have not yet even discovered), and considering that there are who knows how many different species in the animal kingdom, what kind of numbers are we talking here?
Notice that I jumped clean over all microscopic species to get to insects, but that's a whole other set of statistical numbers.
IS THERE A STATISTICIAN IN THE HOUSE?
Finally, one works themselves to looking at the human body's systems. It is truly incredible. The inter-working complexities of it blow away the statistical probability numbers all by themselves.
The sum total of this list is that 4.6 billion years is WAY TOO SHORT A PERIOD OF TIME to even be statistically plausible that all things formed by accident. It would take a laughably longer period of time than evolutionists have ever discussed.
I would be way better off playing the lottery.
Yep, I'd say this is one sure fire argument for theism.
Belief in athiestic evolution is statistical insanity, treatable by a healthy dose of uncommon sense and truth.
I,m done. Thanks for your time.
Mike
Posted by: Ryan F Stello | November 12, 2009 9:53 PM
Of course your sense is uncommon, but it ain't healthy.
Posted by: aratina cage
|
November 12, 2009 9:54 PM
Mike #173, what is the probability that you found this blog out of all blogs on the Internet, today, and it just happened to be a blog on which at this time you can comment without providing anything but a screen name and a hidden email address? You can pretty much pretend that your posts here never happened using your own reasoning.
Posted by: Mike | November 12, 2009 9:56 PM
I knew you were going to say that.
2 Peter 3:3-5
"Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts, 4 And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation."
Oh, but how you will care...you will care. (Yoda?)
Thanks for the input.
Mike
Posted by: Ryan F Stello | November 12, 2009 9:59 PM
More proof. What an unimaginative reply.
Weren't you done?
Posted by: Mike | November 12, 2009 10:00 PM
That's email to:
bonomike@yahoo.com
Feel free to email any legitimate questions to me.
Mike
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM | November 12, 2009 10:02 PM
mikey, you fail at statistics. also, if you want to pretend to be all scientific-like, drop the teleology. the odds of humans having developed precisely as they have are about as relevant as the odds that all of your ancestors met and married each other instead of others and mated at just the right time to produce your next ancestors, all the way down to you in the end.
Posted by: Mike | November 12, 2009 10:04 PM
That was "done" as in done with the statistical insanity chapter. The book is not finished.
Are you a statistician?
Thanks.
Mike
Posted by: aratina cage
|
November 12, 2009 10:08 PM
Mike, we don't mind laughing at you, but we're not wondering why Jebuz hasn't arrived yet. We simply know you are putting your faith in what amounts to a children's story, and that this coming you await won't ever happen. And no, we won't care, but you will care that we don't care and it will drive you mad until your last breath. Ha-ha!
Posted by: Robb | November 12, 2009 10:13 PM
Well for once this conservative actually agrees with an atheist on a religious issue. No one can predict the apocalypse. If they say they ca, ignore them, they are lying.
Posted by: Mike | November 12, 2009 10:16 PM
My ancestors can probably be numbered in what, a few dozen generations?
The numbers don't even compare, at least to anyone willing to really sit down and look at them.
But, a belief in atheistic evolution is a faith, a religion, not a science, therefore holders of such do not care about the numbers.
What's neat about my God is he really likes numbers, and his numbers don't lie. "Prove me," he says.
Mike
Posted by: aratina cage
|
November 12, 2009 10:18 PM
Well, Robb #182, we really don't agree because you are also lying. There is no such thing as an "apocalypse" outside of religious stories, which are fictional. You can't predict an event such as the death of Dumbledore because it only exists in a story. It isn't real. So we can safely ignore you, too.
Posted by: Wowbagger, OM | November 12, 2009 10:19 PM
Mike, making extraordinary leaps of logic, wrote:
Why? Why isn't it an argument for deism?
But, let's say we let you go with theism - why do you accept the Christian mythology? Pretty much every other religion has a creation myth; I particularly like the Norse variant.
Why do you assume that the people who wrote your bible got it right? How would you know if you were wrong?
Posted by: Mike | November 12, 2009 10:21 PM
I'm sorry. I didn't realize I had come across someone who has actually traversed the known universe, searched all of space, and knows emphatically that there is no God, and that he, Jesus, is not coming back.
I stand corrected.
Mike
Posted by: Ryan F Stello | November 12, 2009 10:22 PM
You're welcome, liar.
While we're on the subject of asking questions and not actually caring about the answers, I have one:
Why did your God create such a void in your life that you try to fill it by getting people that you're not interested in talking with to send you e-mail, when noone asked to talk with you in more depth?
I'm done. With that question.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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November 12, 2009 10:24 PM
False. There is no such thing as atheistic evolution. There is only the science of evolution. With a million or so scientific papers giving evidence for evolution. And about zero papers for any other scientific theory. There are other religious theories out there, but since they are religious in nature, they cannot refute the science, and are not teachable in schools unless it is a class in religious instruction. What part of basic logic did you fail? Or are you just another Liar for Jebus™?Posted by: aratina cage
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November 12, 2009 10:26 PM
Mike #186, we could say the same of you. Heh. You just proved yourself ignorant. How could you possibly know emphatically there is a god or that some outer space hippie named Joshua is going to visit us? Well, you can't know that because you haven't "actually traversed the known universe" or "searched all of space".
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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November 12, 2009 10:27 PM
(Quotemining like a godbot) You got it right. Your deity doesn't exist, no physical evidence for it, and without a deity, the babble is fiction/myth and Jebus is just a myth. What part of reality don't you understand?Posted by: Jadehawk, OM | November 12, 2009 10:30 PM
you suck at reading comprehension. the point was not that the numbers might be comparable, the point was that the calculation is utterly irrelevant, because just as your birth wasn't a necessity, and thus the likely hood of your specific line of ancestry happening (as opposed to any million other possible lines) is irrelevant. similarly, since humans aren't a necessary outcome of evolution, the likelihood for this particular evolutionary thread as opposed to the millions of other possibilities is irrelevant, because the alternatives would have been just as good.your anthropocentrism is blinding you.
Posted by: Mike | November 12, 2009 10:32 PM
For one thing, the Bible is the only "religious" book in the world to prophesy with 100% accuracy.
It has predicted to 100% accuracy, hundreds and thousands of years before, the rise and fall of past civilizations--one book, penned by about 40 men over thousands of years--making one whole, logical chronology of world events. There is no other book like it.
As to the creation story variants, is it not plausible that Satan, a.k.a. ex-arch angel Lucifer, tries to divert humans away from the truth?
He hates God, the Bible, man, and everything else God is involved in. Of course there would be smokescreens.
He also will do anything for your soul.
Mike
Posted by: aratina cage
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November 12, 2009 10:35 PM
Inanity c/o Mike #192
I can picture the drool on Mike's lips drizzling to the floor while he writes that.
Oh? So your god is a soul-sucking vamp?Posted by: Wowbagger, OM | November 12, 2009 10:37 PM
Really? Care to give some examples? Because I'm pretty confident that ain't true.
Have you read every religious text in the world? Even the ones that aren't available anymore? How do you know other religions haven't been as accurate in their prognostication as yours is?
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM | November 12, 2009 10:37 PM
ROTFLMAOit's not prophesy when you write a story about current events and then pretend it was written a few hundred years ago. Amazingly enough though, the "prophets" tended to get things wrong the moment they started writing about even the most immediate future.
Not really surprising though that you lack such basic familiarity with the historical context of tyour own holy text. most fundies do.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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November 12, 2009 10:38 PM
What a bald faced lie. Keep it up, and nobody here will believe a word you say. We know better, you don't. That is called ignorance. Also, no physical evidence for your imaginary deity, which is the only thing that will prove it exists. An eternally burning bush would be nice. Until then, you are just another LIAR FOR JEBUS™. The LFJ's are boring ignorant insipid trolls.Posted by: Jadehawk, OM | November 12, 2009 10:40 PM
I traded in my soul for a pizza...Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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November 12, 2009 10:42 PM
I traded mine for the Redhead...Posted by: Ben in Texas | November 12, 2009 10:51 PM
"As to the creation story variants, is it not plausible that Satan, a.k.a. ex-arch angel Lucifer, tries to divert humans away from the truth?"
If you go that route--meaning, if you assume Satan is real and has the power to create holy texts to confuse us simple humans--well, that means your bible could be the work of Satan.
Hmmm, that sounds just as plausible as all your god-babble, and I have just as much evidence to support it. Every bit of "evidence" for your god could also be construed as evidence for Satan's handiwork.
That means only one thing: To be certain you aren't falling victim to Satan, you must renounce your bible.
Posted by: Mike | November 12, 2009 11:39 PM
One post complained about my anonymity, so I obliged with my email address.
I'm interested in talking to anyone interested in truth, rather than the lies that this world and Satan are using to kill, steal, and destroy.
Mike
Posted by: Wowbagger, OM | November 13, 2009 12:01 AM
If Satan is such a skilled deceiver, how do you know that what you consider the truth - Jesus existed and died for you, the church, the rules of the bible, everything else you consider important to your religion - aren't lies concocted by Satan?
How do you know the real God doesn't want you to kill and steal, and by not killing and stealing you aren't damning yourself to an eternity of suffering?
What method do you use to determine truth?
Posted by: Mike | November 13, 2009 12:02 AM
I should really be surprised by the name-calling, nastiness, and general flippant disregard for the creator that spoke the worlds into existence, but I'm not.
Take away the requirement for man to answer to a being of absolute perfection in love, holiness, wisdom, and mercy and what's left? Nothing. There is no foundation for morality or even treating each other with respect, for that matter.
Get all you can. Can what you get. And sit on the can. It doesn't matter who gets hurt in the process. There are no legitimate rules for those that hold the belief that there is no heavenly Father--no Ten Commandments, nothing.
Who would you rather have counting change back to you? Someone who could care less about you or whether he steals your money, or someone that believes a holy God is watching and will hold him accountable for his actions?
Jesus Christ is the only God I know of that ever gave up the majesty of the throne to become a man, be tortured, and die on a cross to pay the price of our sin and make a way for us to enter God's holy, sinless presence.
He deserves our every breath.
Mike
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM | November 13, 2009 12:15 AM
no, you're not. you're interested in proselytizing (which btw is a bannable offense on this blog) Teh Troof© as understood only by Real True Christians™we've heard that sales pitch before. it's boring. if you want to talk about reality instead, we'll be glad to talk to you.
Posted by: Satan | November 13, 2009 12:15 AM
"Sinless"? Ha!
Arrogant puppy, do you really think you know God? Your own mythology tells that God created Me, whom you hate. Yet every evil, every sin I perform was known to God before I even existed.
Do you deny that God created Me? Then I am a power in My own right, and you would do well to fear My inevitable victory.
Do you admit that God created Me? Then God is responsible for every sin I perform, and God is no more sinless than I am.
Posted by: Wowbagger, OM | November 13, 2009 12:16 AM
Er, we don't believe this creator of yours exists - why should we respect something that doesn't exist?
You said earlier that Satan exists and lives to deceive humanity. If you believe that you now have to explain to us how you know that any of what you described - Jesus, his sacrifice etc. - isn't part of Satan's deception and you aren't falling for one of his devilish schemes. How do we know that God doesn't want us not to believe in him, and that you aren't an agent of Satan trying to trick us into going against God's wishes and angering him?
But even if it's true, it still doesn't make sense - why did Jesus need to live and die in the first place? Why couldn't God just forgive humanity? In fact, if God wanted us in his 'holy, sinless presence', why doesn't he just put us there when we're created? Why do we need to exist as mortals in the first place?
It's not always a question of evidence, Mike. It's a question of stopping and actually thinking - critically - about it. When you do, you'll realise that it's pretty darn ludicrous to believe what you believe.
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM | November 13, 2009 12:18 AM
the technical term for people who are only capable of doing do good because they're deathly afraid of punishment is "sociopath".the rest of us are fully capable of being good for goodness sake, without a horrible threat hanging over our head.
Posted by: God | November 13, 2009 12:20 AM
Ixnay onway ethay anicheaismmay
Posted by: Mike | November 13, 2009 12:21 AM
Because I don't want to kill and steal, not because I'm some kind of a goody-two-shoes, but because God reached inside me and took out the want to do those things. He put into me a heart that wants to do good, a heart that begs others to be reconciled to Jesus, despite the flack and insults I have to bear.
Am I still capable of sin? Yeah. Is God dealing with me mercifully? Yeah.
One of the reasons I look so forward to Christ's return is that when I see him as he is, my propensity to sin will be forever eliminated. I won't have to struggle with my own weaknesses. I'll be immersed in the very righteousness of Christ himself.
I am convinced by what has happened within myself in much the same way that astronauts that have been in space know that the world is a round, blue ball. All others know it only by pictures or word-of-mouth.
I measure the truth by the things in the Bible that have been personally proved in my own life, and I have found that Jesus Christ is the embodiment of truth itself.
Does a man not know his own heart?
Mike
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM | November 13, 2009 12:22 AM
eh. Jesus had a bad weekend for our sins and then went back to his cushy job in heaven.Prometheus on the other hand is probably STILL chained to that damn rock, having an eagle eating his liver day in day out, for all eternity. Now THAT I call a sacrifice,
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM | November 13, 2009 12:25 AM
you'd be surprised how very much people do NOT "know their hearts". for the most part, people are clueless as to their own inner workings, but excellent at rationalizing them.Posted by: Wowbagger, OM | November 13, 2009 12:50 AM
Mike,
None of that answers the question. I'll ask again: how do you know that any of what you believe isn't the work of Satan deceiving you? You believe Satan exists and he is capable of deception; ergo, your affinity with the bible, your personal relationship with Jesus and so forth, could very well be the product of Satan's lies.
I have no idea what this means. The heart is an organ which pumps blood through the body; what can you 'know' about it beyond that? If you mean do I know myself, well, I can't really say - how would I know if I was wrong? What if that's more of Satan's lies?
Posted by: Kyorosuke | November 13, 2009 1:38 AM
Mike,
Pop quiz!
1) What events did the Bible predict correctly? Please show your work extensively.
2) Explain Mark 13:30. Jesus says no more than a generation will pass before his return; was he wrong? (
3) What other holy books can you name, and what failed prophecies convinced you to reject them before you chose Christianity?
Posted by: Ben in Texas | November 13, 2009 8:58 AM
Mike, if you want to debate, you really need to learn how to think logically and rationally. You avoid questions, rather than answering them. Why is that?
Posted by: Mike | November 13, 2009 9:37 AM
(First, I saw someone mention "proselytizing" as a cause for banning from the blog. Well, one would think that the other side, i.e. rapture proponents, are entitled to some sort of defense against this blog topic in general. While I don't care particularly for the aforementioned rapture website's methodology either, the basic premise of Jesus coming back in the sky is true enough from the Bible.
Also, "pop quiz" guy--I'll get back to you, if my answering those questions would really make a difference to your view of this discussion.)
Wowbagger, yes, by "heart" I do not mean the pumping variety. The soul, if you will, or "myself" as you've said.
Paraphrasing your question: How do I know that the Bible is not a deceptive work of Satan, and thereby, my entire faith being built on a lie?
I know that Satan is not the author of what I believe, because:
Satan wants all to believe that either 1) there is no God, 2) man is his own God, 3) Satan is God, or 4) that some object in creation (rock, tree, Sun, whatever) is God. Satan even has no problem with us denying his very existence altogether.
A lie of Satan can always be spotted because it attempts to make us believe one of the above. He always seeks to destroy the deity of Christ and the goodness put forth through God's laws, i.e. the Ten Commandments. He's done a pretty good job of removing them from America, hasn't he?
Christ took goodness to the point of God's holiness by stating that even being angry with someone enough to call them a name is as bad as murder, lusting after a woman is as bad as adultery itself. Wanting something someone else has is covetousness.
That is why we can't just go waltzing into heaven (God's presence) without some payment having been made for sin. God has never sinned, nor will he accept anything in his presence short of absolute perfection. Since man was/is incapable of that, God did it himself. He paid his own price for sin by pouring out his own blood. It doesn't get any more gracious than that.
Back to Satan's lies...
There is one MEGA difference between the multitude of world religions that Satan is the author of and the one true way of salvation that God is the author of. It is this:
All of Satan's false religions say that man can do something to earn his right into heaven--be good enough, say enough prayers, pay enough money, beating ones' self repeatedly, you name it. They all have this in common, therefore, I know they are inventions of Satan.
He wants us to believe we can work ourselves into heaven. Conversely, he's ok with us believing that there is no heaven, just as long as the name of Jesus is either ignored or thought of with disgust. He's perfectly happy with that.
But God says that man isn't even capable of good. Even our best actions are based upon impure motives. Charity work, helping old ladies across the street, being polite and mannerly--all are based on selfish motives, unless motivated by the love of God. Without the very righteousness (ability to do everything right and good) of Christ himself being put upon us, we have no hope of heaven.
At some point, does knowing that Satan is not the author of the Bible and my faith require faith?
Yes. The Bible satisfactorily answers the questions, "how did we get here?," "what is our purpose?," "what is God like?," "is there life after death?, and so many others.
It answers why a lot of the world hates Israel, Jews, or anything to do with them. It answers why the Muslims are the way they are.
It answers how we can have life eternally, even after this body is long gone, and I'm more willing to bet on that than I am that this is all there is, and there is no life after death. (So what if I'm wrong, I'll never know it according to atheists. However, if atheists are wrong, that poses a big problem for them.)
Order springing from disorder is illogical. Therefore, I know that the notion of the chaos of the Big Bang and even evolution producing all that we see is ridiculous.
I put my faith in the safest account possible--one that will earn the interest of eternal life.
I put my faith in Jesus Christ, the only God willing to die for me.
Mike
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | November 13, 2009 9:44 AM
Yet he didn't die if you believe your own religion's mythology.
Posted by: Mike | November 13, 2009 9:46 AM
Some questions are from those that genuinely desire an answer and will alter their own judgments on matters in response to satisfactory answers.
Others are merely presented in an argumentative manner that regardless of the answer, will have no effect upon the one asking the question because they ask out of a desire to prod, rather than to truly learn.
Mike
Posted by: Knockgoats | November 13, 2009 9:52 AM
But God says that man isn't even capable of good. - Mike
What a despicable piece of shit you are Mike. You worship this scumbag who makes us so we aren't capable of good, then tortures us for it.
Christ took goodness to the point of God's holiness by stating that even being angry with someone enough to call them a name is as bad as murder, lusting after a woman is as bad as adultery itself. - Mike
So Jesus was the inventor of Thoughtcrime! Big Brother, eat your heart out!
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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November 13, 2009 10:01 AM
I see Mikey the LFJ is still being a liar. You have presented no physical evidence for your imaginary deity. You just presuppose he exists. All presupposition arguments are false. So your whole spiel is false. Welcome to reality 101.
Posted by: Katkinkate | November 13, 2009 10:28 AM
Posted by: Mike "... Who would you rather have counting change back to you? Someone who could care less about you or whether he steals your money, or someone that believes a holy God is watching and will hold him accountable for his actions?..."
Personally I'd prefer the guy who didn't particularly care, cause if he's concerned about staying in business, it's in his best interest to be honest with his customers. The god-botherer has a 'get out of jail free' card available that he can use when he yields to temptation to cheat. All he has to do is 'repent' and ask forgiveness from his god and he feels he's OK. Once he's been 'forgiven' he is free to forget his sin and he's learned nothing and is free to do it again. Also the god-botherers tend to act all self-righteous and condescending.
Posted by: Mike | November 13, 2009 10:30 AM
No, physically yes, he did die--for three days.
If there is any doubt about that, think about who made sure he was dead--Romans. They weren't ones to screw up crucifixions.
He physically resurrected from the dead.
MIke
Posted by: Mike | November 13, 2009 10:44 AM
Repent means to change one's mind about something and alter one's actions accordingly.
In other words, no, he wouldn't do it again, ever, if he is really a true Christian.
Besides, true Christian's don't just slip up and steal.
It is more likely he never was a true Christian in the first place.
The sins that true Christians struggle with are, for example, not getting angry with the guy who just cut you off in traffic, or simply looking the other way when some woman walks by wearing less than a self-respecting woman should in the presence of heterosexual males. (It's a shame I have to even say "heterosexual males" in today's world, but society continues to degrade to lower and lower levels of morality.)
Mike
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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November 13, 2009 10:45 AM
Lets see, Friday, Saturday (1), Sunday (2), Monday (3). All delusional Xians like you can't count. Also, no physical evidence that Jebus ever existed, the town he allegedly grew up in wasn't there during his alleged childhood, but was there when the mythical gospels were written 40-80 years after the alleged death. Real good physical evidence you have to support your inane and insane allegations. Just another Liar for JebusTM.Posted by: KI | November 13, 2009 10:45 AM
Quite frankly, if Mike's god-thing existed I would be forced, by ethical and moral considerations, to ally with and put my support behind his opponent. I don't suppose it helps that I've been reading Milton and Crumb lately. Yahuwahu is one nasty fucker and anyone with half a conscience would have to do what they can to bring him down.
Posted by: Celtic_Evolution
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November 13, 2009 10:49 AM
It's so cute when christians make wild assertions that have but ONE source and no corroborating evidence and smugly profess them as facts. Poor reasoning, Mike..
So... outside of the bible, Mike... where is the historical evidence that supports that the romans "made sure he was dead"? Or anything else that corroborates the story?
And before you answer that the bible should suffice as historical evidence, please ask yourself if the same should be said about the books of Greek mythology? Why would you dismiss one and not the other?
Posted by: Mike | November 13, 2009 10:49 AM
Just open up your eyes and look around for a change.
The clock-work precision of the universe itself screams a designing creator.
What more could I add?
Mike
Posted by: Celtic_Evolution
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November 13, 2009 10:54 AM
What kind of progressive feel-good church do YOU attend? That is most certainly the loosest definition of repent, from a christian standpoint, I've ever seen... and I'm a former christian.
Ahhh... more No True Scotsman fallacies... you're a wonder, Mike... so all those evangelical pastors who were caught stealing from their churches and congregations... not true christians, huh? So how would you know that if the never got caught?
Sorry, Mike... I've got news for you... christian morality is a myth. You're going to have a hard time arguing that one here... we've got over 2000 years of atrocity to draw from.
Oh cripes... Mike's not just a christian... he's a teenager and a puritan, apparently.
Posted by: Celtic_Evolution
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November 13, 2009 10:57 AM
Really, nothing... I had no idea the mind-numbing ignorance I was dealing with... but thanks for so clearly pointing it out.
Take a class, Mike... spend a few Sundays in the real world...
moving on...
Posted by: Steve_C | November 13, 2009 10:58 AM
Which universe? There's possibly an infinite number. All different and unsuitable for human life. Actually the vast majority of energy in universe is not even visible. Only an almost insignificant amount is even habitable.
Finely tuned my ass.
Posted by: Celtic_Evolution
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November 13, 2009 10:59 AM
Can't believe it took me this long to realize Mike = Poe...
He was doing such a good job till that last one at #225... THAT was a dead giveaway.
Had me going for a while though...
Posted by: 386sx | November 13, 2009 10:59 AM
It is more likely he never was a true Christian in the first place.
The sins that true Christians struggle with are, for example, not getting angry with the guy who just cut you off in traffic,
Or not getting angry at a fig tree for not producing fruit... out of season!!
Jesus ® true Christian ™, © 1 AD Mary & "Holy Ghost"
Posted by: Mike | November 13, 2009 11:09 AM
REPENT (from Webster's Dictionary) 1. to feel sorry for (a past error, sin, omission, etc.), 2. to feel such regret over (some past action, intention, etc.) as to change one's mind.
Mike
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | November 13, 2009 11:11 AM
SO let me get this straight.
Your god, who is all powerful and all knowing, created these rules that he, being all knowing and all powerful, knew us lowly humans wouldn't be able to follow. When we didn't follow these rules he manifests himself as a human knowing exactly what would happen. When it did happen and he was crucified, knowing full well he wouldn't really die (you know the whole everlasting life thing you Christians go on and on about), we're supposed to think this is some kind of sacrifice?
And you believe this shit?
Grow up Mike.
Oh I don't know, actual empirical evidence?
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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November 13, 2009 11:25 AM
Amen Rev. BDC.Mikey, the LFJ. Your alleged evidence has a scientific (natural) explantion, that doesn't need your imaginary deity. Ergo, it is worthless. Specifically, you will need physical evidence that will pass muster with scientists, magicians, and professional debunkers as being of divine, and not natural, origin. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. You have presented nothing but presupposition and blather.
Posted by: aratina cage
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November 13, 2009 11:41 AM
Mike #221 blathered:
It's a shame you haven't been banned yet, Mike, you worthless cum-stain shaped like the Virgin Mary's ass.Posted by: Mike | November 13, 2009 12:36 PM
A small sampling of truly heart-warming statements:
I can tell I'm among some truly quality folks here. But the Bible does say that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. He loves us despite our abuse of him and others, at least during this age of grace, which will come to an end.
And I'm the one that deserves to be banned?
Mike
Posted by: Mike | November 13, 2009 12:59 PM
Everyone keeps crying for some sort of physical evidence of God. Anyone familiar with cellular microbiology should have all the evidence they need, unless they are predisposed to a belief in evolution and/or atheism. They refuse to see the forest for the trees. The DNA map is simply that, a map, a set of instructions whereby any living organism is produced. Maps don't happen by accident, neither do instructional codes. That should be plain enough to understand.
Even better is to actually think about what it takes for the modern theories of everything to have actually occurred. We humans would have to be the luckiest creatures in all of eternity.
At any rate, just sit back and watch world events with regard to that tiny little nation of Israel. It is the single greatest evidence that what the Bible says about them and God is true. It has been seen throughout history.
Israel this...Israel that...all over the news. Satan really hates them and Christians that follow the Bible. The more he can have society shut us up, the happier he is (if Satan can even be "happy.")
I will not be surprised to see the day that Christians begin being slaughtered even here in America, just like in other nations throughout history. Satan currently controls the world system, and he loves bringing down it and us.
But he will have his end, and no one will come to his aid as Jesus (not Jebus) judges him for all eternity.
Mike
Posted by: aratina cage
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November 13, 2009 1:05 PM
Mike #235
Fuck you, bigot.Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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November 13, 2009 1:16 PM
Sorry, that doesn't show any evidence whatsoever for your imaginary deity. You need better evidence, like an enternally burning bush. Time to put up or shut up like any honest man, of honor and integrity. Which includes scientists, but not a LFJ like you.I don't "believe" in evolution like you believe in your imaginary deity. The scientific evidence is solid for the theory of evolution, with a million or so papers directly and indirectly backing the ToE. Ergo, that is what the evidence says, or a scientific fact. Show me scientific evidence otherwise, and I will change my mind. Cite the peer reviewed scientific literature to back up your claims. Also, atheism =/= ToE. Another asshat claim from a LFJ. You just can't stop yourself, can you?Now you have really lost it. Atheists are more ethical than Xians. And far, far less likely to kill. Another big lie for the LFJ. And it just keeps coming.Since your deity doesn't exist, except between your ears, and Jebus is myth, all you said is irrelevant. Besides, the earth will end in a few billion years when the sun expands. The only thing eternal is your stupidity.Posted by: Dania
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November 13, 2009 2:36 PM
You miss the point. You're the one arguing that God created the Moon and put it at a specific distance so we can have total eclipses. To me, it looks like you see agency in everything (pretty much like children do), so I was just wondering if you also saw the receding of the Moon as something God planned.
Sorry, I prefer to use reality-based timelines. I also trust geologists more than theologians, for a variety of reasons.
I don't have to. You're the one who has to explain the connection between "beautiful solar eclipses" and "Jesus died for our sins".
High, as the Urey–Miller experiment (and others) show, and as you should know if you weren't so ignorant about basic biochemistry.
On that we agree. You'd be better off playing the lottery instead of coming to a science blog to show everyone how ignorant you are about science and how bad you are at logic.
No. It's not plausible, because there's absolutely no evidence that such a creature exists.
Wow, that's a perfect description of your god! Only an infinitely loving and merciful being would be capable of condemning people to eternal suffering for not believing in him!
Pascal's Wager. How boring and predictable...
Version of the creationist Second-Law-of-Thermodynamics argument. *yawn*
And he's a homophobic bigot too! Color me (un)surprised...
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM | November 13, 2009 4:30 PM
hahaha, no. you can only say suck silly things because you know next to nothing about the universe. the universe is not precise in any way, shape or form.Posted by: MrFire
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November 13, 2009 4:54 PM
I'm in my chemistry lab right now, ROTFLMAO.
I hate, HATE this argument. Of all the misanthropic, unbelieveably selfish, reality and humanity-denying piece-of-shit philosophies out there, this counts among the very worst. Don't bother helping people - just concentrate on your soul. It's like you go out of your way to point out that human life and well-being are utterly unimportant to you. I posed the following question as a joke once, and I'll pose it again now, to you:
A 'saved' child and an elderly agnostic with terminal cancer (who has lived a full, ethical life, and may still yet accept Jesus) are in a burning building. You only have time to save one. As a winner of souls for Christ, whom would you choose?
Posted by: Ray Z | November 13, 2009 11:15 PM
Mike, why do you have to be such a sucker for drama? Is it so hard for you to imagine that people are perhaps polite and mannerly because that's simply normal, healthy behaviour? I don't quite see how simply contributing to positive, friendly human interaction and communication is in any way selfish.
Funny that you mention charity because coincidentally, I just finished a pro bono project this week worth an amount that could've paid my rent for the next eleven months if I'd charged for it normally. I do this once or twice a year and it takes a substantial chunk out of my free time. I don't advertise that kind of work, I don't mention it in my portfolio, so I have no "selfish" gain. By the way, lest you accuse me of bragging: I know many freelancers and agencies in my professional field who do this, too. I'm only using my personal "story" here because it's something I can talk about authentically. The principle applies to anyone who does charitable or aid work, part or full time, especially those who -- unlike me, sitting safely in my office or at home doing graphic design/web development -- risk their personal health or safety.
As for the "why": It's simply a way of using my expertise to help organizations who, in turn, do actual work in the trenches, helping to lessen real human (and sometimes, non-human) suffering. I'm generally healthy, I live in a society that grants me much personal liberty, I don't suffer oppression at the hands of some inhumane regime, I've got food on the table and a real roof over my head every day -- unlike literally hundreds of millions of other people on this planet. I'm grateful for that, and "giving back" a little is something that comes naturally. If those are "impure motives", then so be it.
Now comes my challenge to the likes of Mike: Not for a single moment while doing charitable work do I think about the "love of God", or "God" in any other way. It is not a source of motivation for me; it's completely irrelevant. Those terms aren't even in my mental vocabulary, they're utterly meaningless. So how do you explain any of this, given your earlier statements?
The religious notion that humans are evil/sinful/impure by birth and can't do any good simply out of natural (not supernaturally-motivated) compassion is completely disgusting. Shame on you, Mike. I challenge you to drop your cut-and-dried biblical concepts for a while and participate in the real world, where people have to use their capacity for rational thinking and naturally-given human morality to do their best at making the right decisions every day, instead of smugly hiding behind a fairy tale framework where everything is conveniently black and white, and do good only because of fear of punishment in an imaginary afterlife. Do you have the guts? I say you do, if you can see yourself as a human being capable of thinking for yourself first and foremost, instead of a religious robot.
Posted by: Mike | November 15, 2009 5:08 PM
The one that the Lord leads me to first. I'll leave that "chance" encounter to God.
Mike
Posted by: Mike | November 16, 2009 8:12 AM
Ray Z,
You have described what is obviously an honorable thing you do.
God can use anyone that he chooses to use to accomplish what he desires to do in this world. What you have done may be even motivated by God through you in answer to the prayers offered up by someone on the receiving end of your generosity.
And yes, there are remnants of the natural goodness (God-ness, if you will) that, along with a conscience, was God-given in a portion to every man.
The problem is this: you do not acknowledge the source of this goodness as being God. As such, you've taken a quality of God and called it your own without giving credit to its owner, much like a plagiarist uses the works of another without giving due credit to the author.
Speaking of giving credit--God is the one that weighs the hearts of men, and declares through his servant David the following:
Psalm 14:2-3 The LORD looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, and seek God. They are all gone aside, they are all together become filthy: there is none that does good, no, not one.
I didn't invent the thought that humans are sinful from birth, God did. (An aside: ever notice how obediently compliant people are when driving down the road to the traffic laws of the land? No one wants anyone telling them what to do, just like the original sinner, Satan himself.)
We were created by God and FOR God. Until that purpose is realized, we are merely rebellious children.
Revelation 4:11 You are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for you have created all things, and for your pleasure they are and were created.
Fortunately, God loved us enough to do mercifully do something about this rebellion. He died in our stead--but death couldn't hold him due to his sinlessness. (Man, if Satan could have seen that coming through his hateful blindness, he never would have dared crucify Christ. Ever read the book or see the allegorical movie Narnia?)
No amount of my words will convince anyone. That takes a supernatural act of God in a person to bring understanding. He will reveal himself to those humble enough to ask, "God, are you really real? If so, please show me" and really mean it. Unfortunately, most scoff and will not. Many love their sin too much, i.e. keeping an unpaid whore (per Dr. Laura), or more nicely, "shacking up."
Here's a guy that God went a little more out of the way to get his attention. Such cases are a rarity, however, like when God called Moses:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MLkdSv-KaQ
If Satan can keep a person distracted enough for seventy or eighty years, that's all he needs to do.
I sincerely hope you make some sort of effort to seek God, find out the truth, and escape from eternal death's grip.
Call it a "scientific experiment" if you must.
Mike
Posted by: aratina cage
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November 16, 2009 8:25 AM
Mike, Jesus didn't come back yesterday. Another day passed without the return of your savior. Be prepared for it to end like that every day — a lifetime of disappointment awaits you.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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November 16, 2009 8:33 AM
Mike, there is no evidence your 2500 year old man made piece of fiction called Yahweh exists, except in the minds of delusional fools like yourself. There is essentially no evidence that the biblical Jesus existed either. There is very little in the babble that holds itself in a even mildly skeptical look at the archeological data. You have built yourself a dream castle in quicksand. And it shows. Until you can supply the hard physical evidence to prove your deity exists, the babble is accurate, and you aren't a delusional fool, you have nothing cogent to offer us. Just the ramblings of the deranged.
And Mike, you can't presuppose god to prove the babble, and then try to use the babble to confirm god. That is circular reasoning, and is always false.
In other words, your deity doesn't exist, your bible is mythology/fiction, and you are a delusional fool.
Posted by: MrFire | November 16, 2009 10:27 AM
Mike, what an equivocating non-answer! Way to duck the responsibility. Going for your own 'render unto Caesar' moment, hmmm?
This really does sum up your philosophy in a nutshell. Abdicate all powers of discernment, avoid anything that smacks of independent thought, and above all, don't let the obvious get in the way.
Here's another teaser for you:
Neither Mr. X. nor his son is 'saved'. They are in a burning building. Mr. X. can rescue either himself or his son, but not both.
If he rescues himself (a very selfish act) he has the opportunity to be 'saved', and avoid an eternity of torment in Hell. His son, however, will burn both in this life and the next.
If he saves his son (a good act), he will die unsaved, and despite this heroism, will be rewarded with everlasting agony.
From real-world experience, you and I both know that this tragic kind of situation happens all the time.
What should Mr. X do, and is God reasonable for putting them in this situation?
Posted by: Ray Z | November 16, 2009 7:22 PM
Mike (comment #244) says,
If that were true (just keeping it hypothetical for the sake of argument), it would imply the following:
* The person doing good is not aware that his motive for doing so comes from God or the prayer.
* Therefore, from the person's subjective view, God still has nothing to do with it . The subjective position/feeling is that there was still a choice, and the person chose the "right" one.
* Therefore, credit must still go to the way the person exercised his/her free will, not God.
If -- and only if -- the person were aware that the drive to do something charitable "came from God", then could you credit God for being the source of good. So your explanation is actually a tribute to human morality and does not flatter God in any way. Can you see how you shot yourself in the foot?
An analogy, using a theme from other comments here: Say you see a burning house. There's nobody inside, but you don't know that, so subjectively, you're in a position where you have to choose whether to attempt to rescue potential victims or not. If you decide to go in, that's a courageous, moral action, although in reality it would not be necessary since there's actually nobody inside. But nobody would deny that you made a good moral choice, even though the matter had already been taken care of (no people in the house), so to speak.
Yeah, I get it. God creates man to be inherently sinful but does graciously throw in a tiny seed of goodness and conscience. Just so He can have a jolly good time jerking off to the sight of man struggling with his sinful nature. Just what you'd expect from a power-corrupted dictator.
In order to plagiarize, I'd a) have to be aware that there already exists someone else's work and b) intentionally copy it. Not the case here, since I'm not aware of any god's existence. Why would I have any reason to believe that the inner impulses I sense (and act upon) "belong" to someone/something else? Should I ever have that feeling, I'd immediately admit myself to the nearest mental institution. By the way, in the real world, making accusations of plagiarism without providing evidence -- especially when the accusations are false -- is pretty detrimental to one's credibility. But of course religion allows you to spew out all kinds of condescending drivel.
Mike, you don't seem capable of saying anything original. You can't expect to be taken seriously if all you do is make assertions without providing evidence and quote scripture.
Posted by: Knockgoats
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November 16, 2009 7:32 PM
The DNA map is simply that, a map, a set of instructions whereby any living organism is produced. Maps don't happen by accident, neither do instructional codes. - Mike
No, it isn't. Most of it is junk, much of that left in the genome by defunct viruses. Learn some science before you make such an idiot of yourself again, fuckwit.
Posted by: Sven DiMilo | November 16, 2009 7:40 PM
DNA is not a map.
DNA is not a "set of instructions."
A map is not a "set of instructions."
Worst metaphor fail evar.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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November 16, 2009 7:44 PM
*Chomps popcorn and drinks grog while watching Mike, the LFJ, get his logical clock cleaned...*
Posted by: SteveM | November 16, 2009 7:57 PM
I thought a sociopath was either someone who understood the "rules" of society and just ignored them, or was someone who was incapable of understanding the "rules" of living in a society.(I can't remember which).What Mike describes (going back to my general characterization of religion) is a child. A person who has not yet developed the ability to reason morally (okay, I guess that is a sociopath) and only acts morally based on fear of parental punishment (and acts good solely for parental reward).
otherwise known as "adults".
Posted by: Wowbagger, OM
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November 16, 2009 8:11 PM
Mike wrote:
But Mike, you still haven't explained how you know that this description of Satan is accurate - if it's what the bible says, how do you know Satan didn't write the bible to trick you into believing that?
If Satan's the master of deception, how do you know anything is true? How do I know you aren't Satan trying to trick me into worshipping your false god?
Posted by: Satan | November 17, 2009 3:02 AM
You are
SpartacusSatan! No, wait, I am!Say, what kind of God would let a malevolent, deceptive, untrustworthy character run free through His entire universe without any restriction or correction?
Posted by: Jadehawk, OM
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November 17, 2009 3:29 AM
I was thinking specifically of the variation of "reputation-defending sociopath"*; people like that know the "rules", and do play the game; but they play to win (whereas most normal people play to get along); and you can't win if you get caught.*I had to look that up to make sure I didn't get something messed up :-p