Pharyngula

The God Equation?

We atheists are done for now. Behold, the God Equation, which I received in email and proves that a deity created us all:

Scientists working in the UK have discovered robust evidence that the creation of the earth and moon was a deliberate act. The researchers found that the earth, moon, and beyond were engineered according to a specific equation. They have dubbed it the God Equation. The equation, which looks like this:

i-ce637bf8b4f31cd7b4c287244b3e62d0-godequation.jpeg

shows a constant, unchanging relationship between the speed of light, the ratio between the circumference and diameter of a circle, and the radio frequency of hydrogen in space. Artificial intelligence engineer David Cumming, CEO of the Edinburgh-based company Intelligent Earth, recently discovered the equation, and said: “I am a scientist and as such I didn’t at first really believe it myself. But physics is physics, and maths is maths, and you can’t argue with it.”

The discovery of the equation began with research by engineer Professor Alexander Thom (1894-1985) of Oxford University, into the properties of megalithic constructions such as Stonehenge. He found that their construction did not follow existing measurement systems, but did fit in to a pattern of specific lengths which he called megalithic yards. Two independent researchers Christopher Knight and Alan Butler, based in York, then showed that the megalithic system of measurement was directly derived from characteristics of the Earth’s movements through space.

Linking this system of measurements with known constants such as π (pi, the relationship between the circumference and diameter of a circle), Hl, the radio frequency of the hydrogen fine transition in space, Ω (0.0123456789 representing all the characters of the base 10 number system), and the speed of light in a vacuum C0 (C0 = 299,792.458km/sec), and building on research by Knight and Butler, and the work of Professor Alexander Thom, former Reading University doctoral researcher Cumming followed a research programme that resulted in his discovery of the God Equation. The God Equation shows a direct link between the speed of light, the radio frequency of hydrogen in space, pi, and earth’s orbit, rotation and weight. As the possibility of the Earth having the exact required characteristics to fit the equation by chance is remote, and the equation has, in theory, been in existence since the beginning of the Universe, this means that the Earth’s orbit, rotation and weight must have been engineered to fit this equation.

Cumming states: “Although the ratio of a diameter of a circle to its circumference has been known for thousands of years, we have only recently discovered the hydrogen line, the speed of light, and rediscovered the megalithic measurement system. The advance of science, combined with the uncovering of ancient knowledge passed down through the ages, has only now made the discovery of the God Equation possible.”

Well, overwhelming, except for a few little problems.

For instance, the term Hl has units of MHz; the other parameters seem to be dimensionless; and C has units of km/sec. This does not compute. That seems like a rather fundamental error in a very simple equation that must have been formulated by a couple of the geniuses of the age, don’t you think?

Oh, wait…there’s that mysterious Ω term — maybe we’re just missing its units. Except…”0.0123456789 representing all the characters of the base 10 number system”. Oh, come on. I call shenanigans on that one. That’s completely arbitrary and contrived.

How do you get earth’s orbit, rotation, and weight from π?

So I plugged in all those numbers anyway, and did the calculation works out to a value for C of 361,448.9 MHz. This is a bit off.

Oh, but there’s more! There’s a footnote to the email I was sent that mentions that you have to calculate the speed of light in megalithic yards, derived by some esoteric calculation from the dimensions of Stonehenge. A megalithic yard = 0.82966 meters, which then gets you to the right number for the speed of light.

Not bad for a formula with three terms, one of which is pulled out of someone’s ass, and the whole thing requiring a magic fudge factor to bring it into line with neolithic technology.

In case you’re wondering who could be crazy and ignorant enough to propose this kind of nonsense, the mail included a handy set of bios for them.

David Cumming is an innovative scientist working in the field of artificial intelligence. A former PhD student of famous Professor Kevin Warwick at Reading University, England, David is also a graduate of Glasgow University, and Robert Gordon University, Aberdeen. At Robert Gordon University, he was awarded a rare MSc with Distinction for his work on a NASA space shuttle microgravity experiment that flew as a full canister experiment on the Space Shuttle Endeavour.

David was also leader of the Intelligent Earth team that developed the world’s first advertising system that changes advertising according to the gender and age of the person watching the advert – a technology that removes unwanted and annoying advertising and makes advertising appropriate to the watchers. The company also developed Doki, ‘the World’s most gender aware robot, featuring in the Guinness Book of World Records for several years’

He is also the CEO of Safe Cities, who developed a prize-winning intelligent custody photography system in collaboration with ACPO’s Facial Images National Database (FIND) Project and several large Police Forces. These systems are now installed around Britain as an important front end of the National Database.

Christopher Knight’s background is in research. From 1976 he investigated the origins of the rituals used by Freemasons before publishing his first book on the subject in 1996. ‘The Hiram Key’ became an immediate international best seller selling over a million copies and is now in 37 different languages. This was followed by several other bestsellers chronicling his investigations that were taking him further and further back in time.
In 1997 he teamed up with Alan Butler to continue his researches, which had taken him back to the late Stone Age. Following in the footsteps of engineer Professor Alexander Thom, Knight and Butler have reconstructed a complete system of measurement that was used in the British Isles and western France 5,000 years ago. These systems, still identifiable in existing artefacts, were more sophisticated than modern units of measure, although both the Imperial and metric systems have evolved directly from this Neolithic origin.

Alan Butler’s historical studies extend to an in-depth research into the Cistercian monastic movement and the Order of the Knights Templar, about which he has also written extensively. As a professional writer, who has always possessed an absolute fascination for history, Alan set out on a two decade search that led to the unravelling of some of the most important details regarding prehistoric knowledge and achievement in Europe. Alan has also been writing on the subject of astrology since his 20’s and is the most published writer on the subject in Britain.

Crackpots all across the spectrum.

Comments

  1. #1 dutchdoc
    December 12, 2009

    Regarding David Cumming’s “God Equation”:

    For people who can read Dutch: here’s a link to a humorous parody on deriving the weirdest formula’s and ‘proofs’ from some simple measurements in ones own house, by astronomer and former chairman of the Dutch Skeptic Society “Skepsis”, Kees de Jager:

    http://www.skepsis.nl/schemerlamp.html

    (Wish someone would translate this: it’s hilarious!)

  2. #2 Robin Lionheart
    January 11, 2010

    See http://www.xkcd.com/687/ for another awesome fundamental equation.

  3. #3 argle_bargle
    January 13, 2010

    I’m glad I can say… SIMPSONS DID IT! SIMPSONS DID IT!

    And not even Lisa or Professor Frink or some other smart non-Simpson character in the show… but Homer!

    Not only that, Homer did it twice. Once proving God didn’t exist, which he gave to Flanders who then burnt it, and once to determine the exact moment of the Rapture… after carrying the correct number of people at the last supper by counting Jesus as the 13th.

    Plus his equations were more showy and impressive.

  4. #4 Alex Whiteside
    May 14, 2010

    I read The Scotsman for local news and this morning they included a story about this gentleman. It is completely impenetrable:

    http://edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/Scientist-finds-meaning-of-Dan.6295220.jp

    It struck me that whatever he had “discovered” was either horribly written up by the paper, or simply a load of balls. I found your post here and suffice to say I have drawn the latter conclusion. The full press release which I’ve since been able to track down makes it a bit more clear exactly why it’s bollocks.

    http://www.beattiegroup.com/prclients/pr-press-releases.aspx?news=31&id=10634

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