Pharyngula

We’re very traditional around here

THIS. IS. MINNESOTA. We like our Christmases white around here, and it’s not enough just to have a few decorative snowflakes tumble down — we need a blizzard, and that’s what we’re going to get. I was out there in the frigid whiteness earlier today, clearing the driveway and sidewalks, and now I’m all worn out, ready for a good night’s rest. I expect I’ll get up tomorrow to find even more snow piled up everywhere.

Another traditional way to spend the day before the blizzard is to scurry about stocking the larder, and I did a bit of that too…which led to the nicest, sweetest, most heart-warming occurrence. I was listening to the radio, and the announcer came on to mention the coming major snowstorm, and then — O Christmas Joy — began to read off a long, long list of church closures, religious programs cancelled, and Christian events shut down. It was like the Atheist Rapture had come. I felt my heart grow two sizes, and it wasn’t just congestive heart failure brought on by over-exertion.

One more traditional affair to take care of: when I was a young’un in Seattle, on Christmas eve we’d watch the television clown, J.P. Patches, who would always have a little conversation with Santa. It’s not quite Santa, but they’re pretty much the same thing: tonight, from 9-11 Central time, you can tune in to Pacifica radio 90.1 in Houston, Texas, and listen to Scooter chatting with Jesus! Oh, that will make the conservatives so happy, that liberal radio jettisons the secular icon of Santa Claus and goes straight to the founder of their faith. It’s going to be a great Christmas program, and it should be unperturbed by our upper Midwestern blizzard.

Now you may be thinking, “But I’m not in Texas!” This, of course, is yet another reason to praise Jesus. You’re also in luck, because Jesus will be streaming over the interwebs. You can also call in to 713 526 5738 and speak to Jesus — maybe you can tell him what toys you want.

I understood there will also be a Hell Pope of the Subgenius on, so all theological issues will be thoroughly covered.

Comments

  1. #1 Rixaeton
    December 24, 2009

    Brisbane forecast: Shower or two: Max 30.

    Thats celcius :)

    Happy white shovelling xmax.*

    *typo’s provided free of charge.

  2. #2 ralfnausk
    December 24, 2009

    I admit it: Though i am an atheist i did enjoy going to a “Krippenspiel” tonight – i am sorry, but it IS a bit of european culture. Of course i do not believe, but i guess 80 % of the congregation did not- Io Saturanalia or whatever – enjoy the holidays. (Please read “The Atheists Guide to Chrisatmas” published by Ariane Sherine…

  3. #3 shatfat
    December 24, 2009

    Damn you to the iciest layer of Hel! I will be at work from “9-11 Central”. They’d better post an mp3!!

    Ai basta!

  4. #4 shatfat
    December 24, 2009
  5. #5 Pope Bologna XIII - The Glorious High Sauceror of Pastafarianism and Grand Poobah of His Holy Meatba
    December 24, 2009

    Merry Squidmas oceanics!

    Perth forecast: sunny and 35 C (95 F).

    Only white we’ll be seeing is beach sand I’m afraid ;D

  6. #6 WowbaggerOM
    December 24, 2009

    In Adelaide right now (11.12am) it’s 19C (66F) with a forecast maximum of 25C (77F) – which is pretty close to perfect as far as I’m concerned.

  7. #7 Rixaeton
    December 24, 2009

    Only white we’ll be seeing is beach sand I’m afraid ;D

    Or English tourists? :)

  8. #8 'Tis Himself, OM
    December 24, 2009

    34F/1C, little wind, and clear. It’s supposed to rain on Saturday.

  9. #9 hje
    December 24, 2009

    Ready your breakfast and eat hearty… For tonight, we dine in Minneapolis!

  10. #10 https://me.yahoo.com/neilschprof2#269b7
    December 24, 2009

    In this jolly season, I extend an invitation to the bastions of critical, skeptical thought to participate in an amusement.

    Go here, then go straight to the New Statesman article, a nice short article by one of our finest science writers, and read it carefully. There are two (known) false statements in it. Once you’ve done your best (and don’t feel bad if you come up short — they’re subtle), come back to the page and follow the comments.

    The exercise is not just a self-test for critical analysis of text. As you read through the comments, you may be able to visualize multiple instances of brains throbbing desperately as they distort their interpretations of straightforward text to be in alignment with conclusions pre-formed out of loyalty to an authority figure.

    In this case, the contorting brains happen to be atheist (which doesn’t, of course, prove anything general).

    There’s even a fine dessert after the meal: after an authority figure intercedes, you can observe lightning-quick reversals of opinion (offered in the most earnest and self-congratulatory tones).

    Neil Schipper

  11. #11 Amicus
    December 24, 2009

    You Minnesotans are lucky you get a white winter. Here it is 37°F, Winds WNW at 5mph, Clear, Visibility 8 miles – no chance of snow here.

  12. #12 gettingfree
    December 24, 2009

    “…Jesus will be streaming over the interwebs.”

    Sounds perverted. :)

  13. #13 monado
    December 24, 2009

    We were supposed to have rain today and freezing rain tomorrow. Instead, we had fine snow like sugar today and are supposed to have mixed precipitation tomorrow. It won’t be a white Christmas in Toronto except for the leftover ice. And that’s unusual. It has been quite cold already with no snow to protect low-lying plants. I’d better throw a thin layer of dry leaves onto the lawn.

    The news crawl on CBC, while they blathered on about Xmas in Bethlehem, said that an “apparently deranged” woman had attacked the Pope as he was walking into Christmas Eve mass. Maybe she was just angry about what the Roman Catholic Church and conservative popes have done to women.

  14. #14 Amicus
    December 24, 2009

    What out for the yellow snow.

  15. #15 Blind Squirrel FCD
    December 24, 2009

    You got out and were able to clear your driveway? Mine is 600 feet long and 18 inches deep in water saturated snow. The gravel road beyond it has been impassable since Tuesday night and it is 10 miles to town. It is supposed to snow until Sunday, with high winds. I stocked up on pallets (I burn them) and food, so there is no real problem. No booze,no weed, It’s just me and the cat and the computer.
    Heathens greetings. (I am so stealing that)

    BS

  16. #16 Peter G.
    December 24, 2009

    Cool. As someone who spent many, many years working with my own father I’d like to ask Jesus if he too occasionally wanted to strangle the old man.

  17. #17 Cuttlefish, OM
    December 24, 2009

    The war on Christmas grows in scope–
    A woman just attacked the Pope!
    While on his way to give the Mass
    She knocked him on his papal ass–
    He got right up and on his way
    To speak to all, this Christmas day.
    Although his world-view may be shit,
    The geezer Pope can take a hit.

  18. #18 Amicus
    December 24, 2009

    Oops! In #14 I should have said “Watch” instead of “What”. And I’m only drinking hot chocolate with a bit of whipped topping to bring in Xmas.

    For all you punsters -

    “A man put in 10 puns for a pun contest, hoping that at least one of them would win. But sadly, no pun in ten did.” ~ Joke A Day website.

  19. #19 llewelly
    December 24, 2009

    May I ask Jesus why he promised infinite punishment for finite sins?

  20. #20 WowbaggerOM
    December 24, 2009

    May I ask Jesus why he promised infinite punishment for finite sins?

    Maybe ’cause he’s a dick, continuing a family tradition of dickishness from his dad, King Dick?

  21. #21 Legion
    December 24, 2009

    Cuttlefish:

    Although his world-view may be shit,
    The geezer Pope can take a hit.

    ANNOUNCER 1:
    Oooo, what a hit! And the pope is down at the 20. It’s gonna take a gallon of Ben Gay to make the hurt go away on that one.

    ANNOUNCER 2: Yeah, he never saw dat one comin’.

    ANNOUNCER 1: Well, he was totally unprotected. Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit, basically every blocker on the field got caught with their pants down.

    ANNOUNCER 2: I gotta tell ya, dose guys couldn’t block da sun on a day at da beach. Dey suck.

    ANNOUNCER 1: Hey, the pope’s back on his feet, but he looks a little wobbly. I guess it’s off to the showers.

    ANNOUNCER 2: Showas? Hey, did I evah tell you bout da time I went to catlick school?

  22. #22 Carlie
    December 24, 2009

    May I ask Jesus why he promised infinite punishment for finite sins?

    To borrow from MAJeff, because humans ain’t shit?

  23. #23 Biology Blogger
    December 24, 2009

    Should I call up and say “Give me your father, bitch”?

  24. #24 llewelly
    December 24, 2009

    Peter G. | December 24, 2009 8:28 PM:

    As someone who spent many, many years working with my own father I’d like to ask Jesus if he too occasionally wanted to strangle the old man.

    Luke 14:26 :

    If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brothers, and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

    Congratulations, Peter G. You’re fit to be a disciple of Jesus. Occasionally.

  25. #25 Biology Blogger
    December 24, 2009

    Or “I am your father”.

  26. #26 destlund
    December 24, 2009

    I understood their will also be a Hell Pope of the Subgenius on, so all theological issues will be thoroughly covered.

    Their? Someone’s had enough nog, methinks, and it’s not me. *Heads to the kitchen*

  27. #27 Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology
    December 24, 2009

    May I ask Jesus why he promised infinite punishment for finite sins?

    So that way you can turn to him and take him as your Savior. You see, Jesus is insecure and constantly need us to adore him. That’s why he gives us infinite punishment so that we are force to accept him. Think of it as Jesus putting a gun to your head and demanding you pay him respect. Time to call in SWAT. Lol

  28. #28 llewelly
    December 24, 2009

    Amicus | December 24, 2009 8:09 PM:

    What out for the yellow snow.

    I think you mean Don’t you eat that yellow snow.

  29. #29 eddie
    December 24, 2009

    Please will someone ask; If you’re from nazareth, how come you got a mexican name?

    Happily it’s only -4 where I am, with more snow to come. Last night it went down to -9, and -16 in the highlands. I understand this doesn’t impress those in the american mid-west, but we’re not used to this.

  30. #30 Insightful Ape
    December 24, 2009

    Can god be any clearer? He is not on the side of the faithful. Why can’t some people take no for an answer?

  31. #31 vitreosity
    December 24, 2009

    It’s 25C here in Kingston Jamaica, but -3C at home in TX. Doesn’t global warming preclude these things? Merry Christmas you evil godless hordes. Hope you all have a great day.

    And thanks for the smile Cuttlefish.

    V.

  32. #32 MadScientist
    December 24, 2009

    While you have megalocardia you can claim to have a big heart.

    I wouldn’t waste my time reveling in other people’s fun being spoiled by the weather. I do wonder why they don’t see the awful weather as yet more evidence that their skyfairy is imaginary.

    In other news some nut rushed the pope and pushed him over; it looks like some people found cattle toppling too easy and now engage in pope toppling. I don’t endorse such extreme sports; the pope may be an idiot and promote a lot of pain and suffering, but he should be defeated by educating his sheep and not by physically attacking him.

  33. #33 John Marley
    December 24, 2009

    #Neil Schipper (#10)

    Why did you post that here?

    Are you so insecure that you needed to come and brag that you won an argument on an unrelated topic on some other blog?

    RD stated that you were right, and he hadn’t adequately proofread the article due to time constraints. Rather than just saying “OK, then.” or something, you jump on a quote from a book of his published over 13 years ago. (With exactly the same “No shit, sherlock” pedantry as your original complaint)

    That plus your referral to an apology as ” lightning-quick reversals of opinion (offered in the most earnest and self-congratulatory tones)” leads me to an inescapable conclusion.

    You sir, are a pedantic jackass.

    @everyone else

    Sorry about that.

  34. #34 Kamaka
    December 24, 2009

    I’ve been listening to this very weird webstream for about 45 minutes now…hopefully the jeebuz interview will be better than what I’ve heard so far.

  35. #35 kjd1005
    December 24, 2009

    and that aint all!!!

    “VATICAN CITY — A woman jumped the barriers in St. Peter’s Basilica and knocked down Pope Benedict XVI as he walked down the main aisle to begin Christmas Eve Mass on Thursday”

    Maybe she was a PopeBagger?

    this message in not an endorsement of violence or approval of her actions) .. snort…

    http://www.silive.com/news/index.ssf/2009/12/pope_benedict_knocked_down_by.html

  36. #36 Azkyroth
    December 24, 2009

    We like our Christmases white around here

    Isn’t that a Glenn Beck line?

  37. #37 Azkyroth
    December 25, 2009

    And the pope is down at the 20. It’s gonna take a gallon of Ben Gay to make the hurt go away

    Don’t you mean Ben XVI Gay?

  38. #38 F
    December 25, 2009

    Let There Be Slack.

    #33:
    How very appropriate, thank you.

    #35:
    Should’ve kicked him in the shins.

    Did you read the comments? #6 is the punchline to the 5 preceding.

    Fuck the pope.

  39. #39 https://me.yahoo.com/neilschprof2#269b7
    December 25, 2009

    John Marley (#33):

    That’s an egregious mischaracterization of what happened. My compliments on your testosterone production system, however.

    There’s more that could be said, but it can wait.

  40. #40 H.H.
    December 25, 2009

    PZ, why do you have to shovel your driveway? You’re a scientist, man! Can’t you melt all the snow with some pyrotechnic innovation or simply fly to town on your jetbed? The professor’s life is seeming less glamorous than you make it out to be. At least you still have the trophy wife to celebrate the holidays with. Merry Christmas to you and yourn.

  41. #41 John Marley
    December 25, 2009

    That’s an egregious mischaracterization of what happened.

    Please point out where I egregiously mischaracterized what happened.

    My compliments on your testosterone production system, however.

    My testicles thank you.

  42. #42 WowbaggerOM
    December 25, 2009

    Peter Jensen, Sydney’s Anglican Archbishop, claims that ‘Superstitions, such as astrology, can never satisfy the longings of the human heart’. There are some more similarly hilarious religiocentric quotes here.

    Perhaps he should also have said, ‘no, my pot’s not black because it has Jesus written on it’…

  43. #43 realinterrobang
    December 25, 2009

    I have to say, PZ, that second graf was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long while…

    Either that or it was the two Caesars on top of all the meds I’m taking, one or the other.

    MadScientist @32: I had splenomegaly once. By inference, does that mean I should have been really cranky the whole time? (I was, but that was mostly because I felt like something scraped off the bottom of Satan’s soggy sweat sock.)

  44. #44 Bill Dauphin, OM
    December 25, 2009
    Although his world-view may be shit,
    The geezer Pope can take a hit.

    ANNOUNCER 1:
    Oooo, what a hit! And the pope is down at the 20. It’s gonna take a gallon of Ben Gay to make the hurt go away on that one.

    Old guy must not have had a concussion; under the new rules, he wouldn’t have been allowed to reenter the game!

    Merry, merry, all, and a happy New Year!

  45. #45 destlund
    December 25, 2009

    Merry Squidmas to all, and to all a good night.

  46. #46 WowbaggerOM
    December 25, 2009

    Off for Xmas meal gathering number 2. I think I managed to eat exactly the right amount at lunch – i.e. that which will have dissipated by the time I need to eat an outrageously large dinner.

  47. #47 F
    December 25, 2009

    Wowbagger -

    Not only are the quotes great, I giggle at the manner in which they are presented.

  48. #48 Eric Paulsen
    December 25, 2009

    I just got back from Ohio where I was watching my nephews for my brother while he and his wife work (lucky for them I’m unemployed) and while they were watching Ghost Hunters (don’t ask) the youngest told me that they were going to be looking for the ghost of Santa Claus on an upcoming show. I, being the awful uncle that I am, told him that if Santa is a ghost then he must be dead so tomorrows Xmas was bound to be pretty disappointing due to lack of presents. He angrily responded that there WOULD be presents because Santa was reborn every time he died.

    Now I’m wondering… does he think that Santa died for our sins and that he rises from the dead every Easter so he can bring presents to all of the worlds children every December 25th? Is he confusing Santa with Baby New Year and Father Time? I suspect that his mothers pseudotheistic mishmash of cafeteria Catholicism, angel fetishism, and a bland christian depiction of Saint Nicholas as Santa Claus has him confusing a Coca Cola ad campaign with her confused and no doubt error filled understanding of a religion she rabidly professes to love. I really want to ask him more when I go back, but she hates that I won’t bow my head at the dinner table during the prayer – she would just shit if she thought I was corrupting her kid with my evil atheism.

    Maybe when he’s older.

  49. #49 Denise Thomas/Vireo
    December 25, 2009

    i (sort of) apologize for misunderstanding the Stripey monster’s post re: rapist’s taking victims to the clinic.
    But i stand by what i said, regardless.
    He’s a depraved sanctimonious monster.
    And with a belly full of cognac and other Axemas goodies, i bid you all–joyful winter!

  50. #50 neon-elf.myopenid.com
    December 25, 2009

    I got a good laugh about Benny the Rat being attacked before I headed off to work tonight. And by the same woman as last year! Wearing the same red jacket as last year!! Great security, there, Vatican guys.

    I’m a bit late to the party on the weather repoerts, but it’s currently 16C in Canberra at 7.04pm and drizzling.

  51. #51 neon-elf.myopenid.com
    December 25, 2009

    Repoerts?
    Grrr. Must remember that spellcheck is my friend.

  52. #52 shonny
    December 25, 2009

    Local (Norwegian) TV sent Benny the Rat’s (SiegHeil II) sermon from the vatican. What’s happening, are we becoming catlickers?
    That woman showed some sense who pushed the ol’ nazi over, but it was way too gently. The fucker survived. She could at least have done a Berlusconi, and used something heavy to knock him over. Something like a meat cleaver.
    In B’s case it seems like the blow on the head has knocked some sense into his generally empty skull, because he is gonna give the Mafia a hard time.

  53. #53 John Morales
    December 25, 2009

    Hm. Perhaps the Pope needs an indoor version of the PopeMobile.

  54. #54 neon-elf.myopenid.com
    December 25, 2009

    Benny may not have been injured by the tackle, but a Cardinal had his leg broken in the melee.

    I think the Canberra Raiders could use this woman.

  55. #55 blf
    December 25, 2009

    I do hope the people who seem to be wishing the person who is the current Official Lunatic of Rome are being at least a bit tongue-in-cheek about wishing he had been seriously hurt or killed. As to wishing the office that that person occupies would be seriously hurt or ?killed?, that seems like part of a good idea, albeit physically attacking the office’s holder won’t accomplish or assist such goals.

  56. #56 John Morales
    December 25, 2009

    blf: “… albeit physically attacking the office’s holder won’t accomplish or assist such goals.”

    I hope you’re using ironic understatement.

  57. #57 Miki Z
    December 25, 2009

    The pope, both the person and the office, causes death, suffering, and sickness through anti-condom propaganda in Africa and around the world. I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but the last thing I want is for the pope to be injured — I want him a healthy object of ridicule and scorn, not a martyr.

    On a snow note, we got the only snow of the season (so far) last week. It lasted 3 or 4 hours. I grew up with snow, so I’m hoping it snows a couple more times before spring.

  58. #58 Rorschach
    December 25, 2009

    We’re very traditional around here.
    In that we don’t wish people death or injury.

  59. #59 shonny
    December 25, 2009

    Posted by: Rorschach Author Profile Page | December 25, 2009 5:50 AM

    We’re very traditional around here.
    In that we don’t wish people death or injury.

    Loosen up, Rorschach, nothing wrong with a bit of christian attitude toward the xians, especially the catlickers.

    Also notice how the attackers are labelled as deranged (Berlusconi’s one as well), so that the victims can show clemency, because these people ‘don’t know what they are doing’.
    Fuck it, it’s just that they got more guts and conviction than the rest of us!
    Anybody who thinks that putting bullets through the heads of GWB, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and the rest of the war criminals eight or ten years ago would not have been a good thing??
    In Oz I had little Johnny and Tony Abbott up as good candidates for a bit of friendly extermination, with Alexander Downer and Joe Hockey thrown in just for the fun of it.
    So Benny the Rat at the working end of a meat cleaver? Sounds very appropriate!

    Season’s Greetings!!

  60. #60 Rorschach
    December 25, 2009

    Anybody who thinks that putting bullets through the heads of GWB, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and the rest of the war criminals eight or ten years ago would not have been a good thing??

    Yeah.

    In Oz I had little Johnny and Tony Abbott up as good candidates for a bit of friendly extermination, with Alexander Downer and Joe Hockey thrown in just for the fun of it.

    Maybe time to lay off the grog a little mate.
    Your comments usually make more sense….

  61. #61 bad Jim
    December 25, 2009

    Merry Christmas, everyone.

    I’d like to think that Santa Claus is an awesome can-opener of belief. In my case, at 11 or 12, my deconversion included the conclusion that God was just like Santa Claus. It’s strange that so few of my fellow Americans resolve not to be fooled again.

  62. #62 'Tis Himself, OM
    December 25, 2009

    H.H. #40

    PZ, why do you have to shovel your driveway? You’re a scientist, man! Can’t you melt all the snow with some pyrotechnic innovation….

    The pyrotechnic innovation we use around here is called “summer.”

  63. #63 Cath the Canberra Cook
    December 25, 2009

    Ho ho ho, everyone! May you American pharyngulites wake up to such good presents as I got – a lovely stuffed toy squid, a Matt Ridley book, good coffee and chocolate and some cool kitchen toys.

  64. #64 bnez_brigade
    December 25, 2009

    Thanks for the heads-up, PZ. A couple of hours of The Outer/Inner Side was a great way to spend early-Xmas-morn. The “juice” line made me lawl, as did most of HeyZeus’ corrections to common confusions concerning his consecrated & cryptic canard.

    FWTW, direct links to the aforementioned show(s):
    http://archive.kpft.org/mp3/091224_210001tos.MP3
    http://archive.kpft.org/mp3/091224_223001inner.MP3

  65. #65 Rorschach
    December 25, 2009

    Cath,

    merry xmas ! Not long now…:-)

    May you American pharyngulites wake up to such good presents as I got – a lovely stuffed toy squid, a Matt Ridley book, good coffee and chocolate and some cool kitchen toys.

    I find that when you’re divorced gifts tend to be pragmatic, dad-i/l gave me a bottle of Tawny, and I’m well into that by now…:-)

  66. #66 blf
    December 25, 2009

    [I got] a bottle of Tawny, and I’m well into that by now…:-)

    sounds painful… unless you’re quite small and its a big bottle.

  67. #67 vanharris
    December 25, 2009

    Over here in Southern England, it stopped raining & we got sunshine this morning. So i went out for an hour & a half on my bike along country lanes through some of the local villages. My daughters cooked lunch, which was truly excellent. My wife got out of her sick bed (she’s got the flu – seventh day now) & actually enjoyed the lunch. The 2 year-old grandson took it all in his stride, without any tantrums.

    Best Xmas ever! And i wish the same to all of you.

  68. #68 martha
    December 25, 2009

    I do enjoy my pagan Christmas, without the corresponding superstitions. Lights against the darkness of winter. Celebrating the coming of longer days.

    My mother, rest her soul, was full of holiday rules. Don’t take the Christ out of Christmas! Don’t trick or treat on Halloween–it is begging. Don’t celebrate Valentines day, it is pagan. Mother’s day was acceptable however. :)

  69. #69 'Tis Himself, OM
    December 25, 2009

    My mother, rest her soul, was full of holiday rules. Don’t take the Christ out of Christmas! Don’t trick or treat on Halloween–it is begging. Don’t celebrate Valentines day, it is pagan.

    My father had a similar rule. We never celebrated Guy Fawkes Night because (a) we were Catholics and the celebration was about the failure of a Catholic plot and (b) we were Americans for whom it’s not a holiday.

  70. #70 destlund
    December 25, 2009

    Hm. Perhaps the Pope needs an indoor version of the PopeMobile.

    What’s that? Some sort of PopeSegway?

  71. #71 Richard Eis
    December 25, 2009

    Yay, Meeeerrrry chissmiass and a happy new monkeys.

    Its gift giving day.

  72. #72 https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawmVT1LBhwmO9ej9LNg7a5e9d-AVJ8ezfmE
    December 25, 2009

    I tried to post this yesterday but after going through the sign-in options for 20 minutes, I gave up.

    Anyhow, my $15 creche with the googly eyes is here:
    http://www.ranum.com/linkedimages/creche-squidmas.jpg

    May you be eaten first!

  73. #73 Amicus
    December 25, 2009

    #72 – So cute. I’m glad you got through.

  74. #74 tradewinds
    December 25, 2009

    Merry Christmas to everyone. Here in southern British Columbia it’s clear,cold and absolutely no snow. Did a once around the dog park first thing. Cheers to all.

  75. #75 Caine
    December 25, 2009

    Happy Hogswatch to all! Here in North Dakota, the winter storm is flourishing. Currently 9F / -12.7C, snowing with winds about 30 mph. Time for more tea.

  76. #76 Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology
    December 25, 2009

    I want to wish everyone a merry show-your-social-status-by-giving-the-most-expensive-gift-and-group-cohesion-reciprocity day Christmas. This calls for the most traditional thing my relatives do during Christmas- egg rolls and homophobic comments towards me.

  77. #77 Caine
    December 25, 2009

    Gyeong Hwa Park @ 76:

    egg rolls and homophobic comments towards me.

    Harsh. A Very Merry Squidmas to you, with no homophobia included. :D

  78. #78 Brownian, OM
    December 25, 2009

    Merry Squidmas and Happy Monkey to all.

    @Gyeong Hwa Park #76:

    Yesterday some musical friends and I recorded a GLBT Squidmas Carol (think “Santa Baby” but from the perspective of a gay teenaged boy). A little too late for this year, but I’ll upload it to youtube for next year. That’ll show your relatives!

  79. #79 Andreas Johansson
    December 25, 2009

    show-your-social-status-by-giving-the-most-expensive-gift

    I prefer to show off my social status by receiving the most expensive gift. (Pay tribute, peons!)

  80. #80 Cath the Canberra Cook
    December 25, 2009

    The main downer of my Xmas was the relatives who didn’t understand the “no proselytising” sign we have up by the doorbell. Wrapping your Lee Strobel in Xmas paper doesn’t change its nature.

  81. #81 scooterKPFT
    December 25, 2009

    My wife and kids are off to Grandmother’s house they go for the week.

    I’m avoiding the hangovers and kicking back Home Alone.

    My very own hi-voltage, roaring decibal Fortress of Sillytude, oh my Cellia why are you sooo sweet?.

    I’m streaming over the intertubes, if you too are home alone you might tune in from http://acksisofevil.org/innerside.html

    There is contact info there, gimme a call if you have any requests.

    I have every Grateful Dead show from 1969 to 1978 sound board. It a terrabyte station of Xmas Paisley Wonerland

  82. #82 DominEditrix
    December 25, 2009

    Please stop calling the Papists “catlickers”. It’s very insulting to my cats, who lick each other.

    For Squidmas, I got a copy of Jonathan Miller’s “A Brief History of Atheism”, Godiva chocolates, a shoe-themed calendar and an ‘I’ve-pre-ordered-these-books-for-you-from-Amazon’ gift note. The cats got catnip and a feather-and-fur toy. The Biophysicist got magazine subscriptions, DVDs, truffles and books. Jointly, we got the OED on CD. So now we’re going back to bed and going to sleep through the weekend.

  83. #83 BBCaddict
    December 25, 2009

    Argh.
    It’s been SO *beautiful*(SUNNY! here in Seattle for the past few days. Today, Xmas day, especially. all the mountains were out.

    I say “argh” because tomorrow I fly back to Minnesota to see my family (the ones who aren’t too terrified of the roads) – let ‘s hope my flight isn’t cancelled.
    I doubt it but I’m still crossing my fingers.

    Looks like I was rather lucky to “miss” Minnesota Xmas (due to work) and celebrate with friends here in Seattle today. Thanks weather for the sun. And being stuffed to the gills with buche de noel with meringue mushrooms.

  84. #84 Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology
    December 26, 2009

    Now I’m wondering… does he think that Santa died for our sins and that he rises from the dead every Easter so he can bring presents to all of the worlds children every December 25th?

    Santa is a phoenix?

    Harsh. A Very Merry Squidmas to you, with no homophobia included. :D

    Thanks for the wishes. Surprisingly, they don’t know that I am gay, and the homophobic remarks are due to the fact that I apparently chose an “unmanly” career path.

  85. #85 Richard Eis
    December 26, 2009

    Surprisingly, they don’t know that I am gay, and the homophobic remarks are due to the fact that I apparently chose an “unmanly” career path.

    ok, i’m intrigued. What career path did you choose? Did they want you to be a tree logger or shark hunter instead? (The first two pointlessly macho things I could think of)

  86. #86 Rorschach
    December 26, 2009

    Did they want you to be a tree logger or shark hunter instead?

    Reminds me !

    Lumberjack Song

  87. #87 Rorschach
    December 26, 2009

    Did they want you to be a tree logger or shark hunter instead?

    Oh, and that !!

    Steve Irwin–Sharks

  88. #88 Antiochus Epiphanes
    December 26, 2009

    This calls for the most traditional thing my relatives do during Christmas- egg rolls and homophobic comments towards me.

    I get the same thing. And I’m not even gay*.

    (*I guess being preoccupied with floral anatomy and evolution is enough).

  89. #89 Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology
    December 26, 2009

    ok, i’m intrigued. What career path did you choose?

    I chose to be an anthropologist which they think is pointless (because they don’t know that it is). Keeping in the traditions of my extended family real men either get married or becomes a lawyer, doctor, unscrupulous business men and then get married.

  90. #90 Richard Eis
    December 27, 2009

    I chose to be an anthropologist which they think is pointless (because they don’t know that it is).

    Its only the study of humanity…nothing important.

The site is currently under maintenance and will be back shortly. New comments have been disabled during this time, please check back soon.