Pharyngula

OMG, duck porn!

Carl Zimmer has some videos of explosive erections in ducks you might not want to miss. Or might want to miss, depending on your kinks. I may have nightmares tonight.

Comments

  1. #1 SC OM
    December 25, 2009

    That’s just…fascinating.

    NAFD

  2. #2 Newfie
    December 26, 2009

    *Goose*

    / obligatory “ducks+screw” joke goes here

  3. #3 Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology
    December 26, 2009

    At first, I thought someone was throwing porn because I read:

    OMG, duck, porn!

    Ah the miracle that is the glottal stop.

  4. #4 JD
    December 26, 2009

    quacka-quacka-quacka-quacka…

    The 70′s are starting to make sense.

  5. #5 Riman Butterbur
    December 26, 2009

    So there really is a war between the sexes.

    Drakes cry Piece, piece, but there is no piece….

  6. #6 Bribase
    December 26, 2009

    I was out in Bushy park in London with my seven year old niece a couple of months ago. We had a fantastic time feeding the ducks, swans, squirrels and pidgeons. The park is incredible and my niece loved learning about animal camoflage and behaviour. This is until we came across what I could only describe as an eight on one, water based, royal park violent gangbang.

    It took a lot of tact to explain that to her impressionable ears.

    She’s eight now. Maybe I’ll just send her the link ;)

    B

  7. #7 acitta1
    December 26, 2009

    I was rather shocked and surprised last spring to witness a duck gang rape. I didn’t know that they did such things! There weren’t any duck police to report the “crime” to.

  8. #8 JohnnieCanuck
    December 26, 2009

    And when your drake isn’t satisfied with the number of female ducks available to him, you may notice that in certain seasons, the chickens all have bald spots on the back of their necks…

    Somewhere, some puritanical type must have passed a law against such goings-on, so children won’t embarrass parents with questions. I’m thinking Kansas, maybe.

  9. #9 GMM
    December 26, 2009

    msnbc.msn.com ? ‘When it comes to sex, some female ducks have taken “no” to a new level. They have evolved vaginas with clockwise spirals that keep out the oppositely spiraled penises of undesirable males, scientists have discovered.’

  10. #10 shonny
    December 26, 2009

    Oh, so fuck a duck is a bit more complicated than it a sounds!

  11. #11 tristan.croll
    December 26, 2009

    True story: when I was a kid we had ducks in our backyard. One night one of the drakes got frightened at an inopportune moment and left a rather large piece of… himself… stuck in the wire fence. He never was the same after that.

  12. #12 romyboo
    December 26, 2009

    For some strange reason, I’m willing to duck the click on this one.

  13. #13 romyboo
    December 26, 2009

    Hey Darnold, DUCK!

    RIP, Will Elder.

  14. #14 'Tis Himself, OM
    December 26, 2009

    I will never be able to watch the Howard the Duck movie again.

    Not that it’s any loss. It’s a lousy movie.

  15. #15 mmelliott01
    December 26, 2009

    So, when Ernie sings “Rubber Ducky, you’re the one”

  16. #16 cafeeine
    December 26, 2009

    I’m surprised no one has yet made a Long Duk Dong reference yet.

  17. #17 https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawncr0FDc8gdl7yJBz0SJ15D0etcTIOtL0s
    December 26, 2009

    #10: Oh, so fuck a duck is a bit more complicated than it a sounds!

    It’s hard to fuck a duck, but it’s even harder to fake a drake.

    Ron Sullivan
    http://toad.faultline.org

  18. #18 Michael Lonergan
    December 26, 2009

    I. Had. To. Watch.

  19. #19 ChrisH
    December 26, 2009

    Down where I am on the south coast of the UK there is a significant lack of female Mallard ducks. A lot of this is to do with screwing-based drownings.

    Glad I’m not a duck, really.

  20. #20 Tim Hough
    December 26, 2009

    Is that what they mean by duck dicks?

  21. #21 https://me.yahoo.com/a/X7ziURRyn.tPAGsMR3KzeuUsP4NLHEtz3Q--#b6e6c
    December 27, 2009

    Pedantry made me struggle through signing in for the first time. Apparently my name is a string of gibberish. Here we go:

    “At first, I thought someone was throwing porn because I read:

    OMG, duck, porn!

    Ah the miracle that is the glottal stop.”

    That is not a glottal stop. A glottal stop is not simply a pause in speech; it’s the distinctive sound you hear at the beginning of utterances starting with a vowel. It’s a sort of “hard start” (or stop). Saying the same thing starting with an “h” gets rid of the glottal stop.

    One neat thing you can do is record yourself saying “ha”, then playing it in reverse ? it will sound the same! But if you reverse the sound “a” (with the “h” removed) it will actually sound like the word “hot”!

    Another example of a glottal stop masquerading as a “t” is the famous Cockney pronunciation of words like “bottle”. Some New Englanders too, apparently.

  22. #22 SQB
    December 27, 2009

    a) Rule 34 in action.

    b) The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard anas platyrhynchos (2003 Ig Nobel Prize winner)

  23. #23 Matrim
    December 29, 2009

    O.O”

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