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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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To depend upon God is like holding on to the tail-end of nothing.
[Lemuel K. Washburn, Is The Bible Worth Reading And Other Essays, 1911]
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More articles by PZ Myers can be found on Freethoughtblogs at the new Pharyngula!
Category: Cephalopods • Weirdness
Posted on: December 29, 2009 10:53 AM, by PZ Myers
People send me the strangest pictures. This one was very confusing: I couldn't tell whether it was food, science, or porn. Anyway, it trips a few triggers.
I should mention that in the flood of peculiar email, I do often get squid porn: attractive young ladies draped with various molluscs, and little or nothing else. I don't mind — although it makes my mail attachments folder a weird, perverse place — but don't be offended if those pictures never get posted here. There are limits!
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Comments
Posted by: Janine, The Little Top Of Venom, OM
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December 29, 2009 11:06 AM
Squidheads, squidheads
Roly poly squidheads
Squidheads, squidheads
Eat them up, yum
Posted by: PaleGreenPants
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December 29, 2009 11:11 AM
They don't play baseball.
They don't wear sweaters.
They're not good dancers.
They don't play drums.
Posted by: Glen Davidson
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December 29, 2009 11:14 AM
Looks like you could just swallow them, if it weren't for the tentacles.
Suction cups would result in them hanging up halfway down your throat.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p
Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM, CR
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December 29, 2009 11:24 AM
Little pink squidlings,
All in a pile,
Making me hungry,
Making me smile.
Little pink squidlings,
All on a plate--
Hurry and get some
Before it's too late!
Posted by: black-wolf72
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December 29, 2009 11:26 AM
Why are there limits? Ray Comfort teaches us that without God, morals aren't absolute, and therefore it doesn't matter if we post or use porn.
Anyway, porn is just biology, no? I want more biology on PZ's page.
Posted by: steppenraptor
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December 29, 2009 11:37 AM
"...attractive young ladies draped with various molluscs..."
I think that's the hottest thing I've ever heard of, ever. You know PZ, if you wanted to open a adults-only version of your blog, I'm sure many of us would pay to subscribe to that :)
Posted by: blaisepascal
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December 29, 2009 11:38 AM
Is your unsolicited mollusc porn really mollusc porn or is it limited to cephalopod porn? Have you gotten pictures of attractive young women draped in snails, conchs, limpets, oysters, slugs or clams?
Or has it always been octopodes, squides, cuttlefish, and nautiluses? Merely cephalopodes and not more general molluscs?
I'm not saying I want to see a naked model draped in solenogasters, mind you.
Posted by: Steve LaBonne
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December 29, 2009 11:38 AM
This one is porn all right- food porn. We're gonna need lots of arrabiata sauce...
Posted by: PZ Myers
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December 29, 2009 11:40 AM
There are limits because I don't want to objectify and alienate half my readership on the basis of something as arbitrary as gender.
I've received a few examples of naked men with strategically placed tentacles (or 'tentacles') -- if I started posting those, I'd probably get a lot more, too. Would you find it bothersome if I started posting gay porn then?
That kind of stuff is just too highly charged and would only generate the kind of controversy I find uninteresting.
Posted by: PZ Myers
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December 29, 2009 11:45 AM
A while back, I got some amazing photos of a naked woman covered with giant African snails, and also slathered with snail trails. There have been several photos of women used as sushi trays, too. Nothing with clams, though; I guess the possibilities are too limited with those.
Posted by: CunningLingus
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December 29, 2009 11:54 AM
Perhaps this FIREFOX add on could help .. HEH
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/14582
Posted by: llewelly
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December 29, 2009 12:01 PM
I took a squid head
out to see a movie.
Didn't have to pay
to get it in.
Posted by: recovering catholic
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December 29, 2009 12:02 PM
Oh, the octopodity! :(
Posted by: vanharris
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December 29, 2009 12:02 PM
PZ, haven't you inadvertently admitted that you know that all is not equal when it comes to sexuality?
Why does this necessarily have to be gay porn ? And you claim that half your audience is female! I very much doubt that, sad to say.
And my pink-loving daughter (referenced in the next thread) is as strident an anti-theist as me.
Posted by: steppenraptor
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December 29, 2009 12:10 PM
"There are limits because I don't want to objectify and alienate half my readership on the basis of something as arbitrary as gender."
I certainly wouldn't want you to be sexist in your postings. I would welcome all mollusk-related nudity, regardless of an arbitrary boundary like gender.
Also, why are pictures of naked men always referred to as gay porn? Us straight guys can take naked pictures of ourselves and send them to our favorite science bloggers too!
Posted by: Butch Pansy
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December 29, 2009 12:11 PM
The funagelicals have said that all porn is gay porn.
Posted by: Porco Dio
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December 29, 2009 12:24 PM
it's porn.
deff.
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawncr0FDc8gdl7yJBz0SJ15D0etcTIOtL0s
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December 29, 2009 12:27 PM
I myself am aroused by this, into going for the sesame oil, soy sauce, maybe a little dash of black vinegar, scallions... mmmmm, tako poke.
vanharris, it doesn't have to be gay porn; it's just that gay porn's where you're currently more likely to find nekkid men in commercial quantities.
Even pink ones.
As for "all is not equal when it comes to sexuality"—see above. This isn't sexuality; it's commerce.
Ron Sullivan
http://toad.faultline.org
Posted by: Fred The Hun
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December 29, 2009 12:31 PM
Mollusc porn?
How about a nice pink pussy?
http://img379.imageshack.us/img379/9312/cat4bj.jpg
Posted by: Acronym Jim
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December 29, 2009 12:32 PM
You forgot the "all of the above" option professor. It's definitely all of the above.
Posted by: David Marjanović
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December 29, 2009 12:35 PM
Well, I suppose Botticelli did exhaust them all, but my imagination is very limited...
Posted by: Rex
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December 29, 2009 1:05 PM
You have discovered the NEW holy trinity!!!!!!
It is Food, Science AND Porn!
Posted by: vanharris
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December 29, 2009 1:09 PM
https, @ 18, i was referring to PZ's assumption that such porn was 'gay', rather than it possibly being porn for females. This latter possibility recognizes that the sexes are different in respect of interest in porn.
Posted by: blf
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December 29, 2009 1:12 PM
I can't work out if this means that, to post the pictures, Pee Zed requires more visible naked ape or more (or at last “better”-placed) molluscs. ;-)
Posted by: Janine, The Little Top Of Venom, OM
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December 29, 2009 1:47 PM
And they called it mollusk love
Oh i guess they'll never know
how a young heart really feels
and just why i love her so
and they called it mollusk love
just because we're in our teens
Posted by: Uncle Glenny
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December 29, 2009 2:28 PM
There are limits because I don't want to objectify and alienate half my readership on the basis of something as arbitrary as gender. I've received a few examples of naked men with strategically placed tentacles (or 'tentacles') -- if I started posting those, I'd probably get a lot more, too. Would you find it bothersome if I started posting gay porn then?
No.
I'm so disappointed...
Posted by: J Dubb
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December 29, 2009 3:09 PM
I thought it was a big pile of little baby dolls when I first glanced at it. I was probably primed by first reading about the Barbie-pink microscopes.
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, OM
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December 29, 2009 3:52 PM
In the fishing industry it's called "bait."
Posted by: chuckgoecke
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December 29, 2009 5:14 PM
CunningLingus #11: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/14582
Poe or No?
Posted by: Marella
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December 29, 2009 5:43 PM
Well of course this is the internet and we all know what the internet is for, PORN!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNARJPNz2CA
Posted by: chuckgoecke
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December 29, 2009 6:13 PM
Q: What do they call in Fort Worth, what in Dallas is referred to as sushi?
A: Bait
Posted by: Unreliable Narrator
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December 29, 2009 6:40 PM
Squid? SQUID?
No. Octapussy.
Posted by: F
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December 29, 2009 7:50 PM
I think the hint for "gay porn" is somewhere in there.
Not that I care one way or the other.
Posted by: amphiox
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December 30, 2009 1:21 AM
Hmm. Mollusc porn.
OK. Is there ANY category of object/subject/activity for which there is NOT any porn?
Posted by: norumaru
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December 30, 2009 2:54 AM
Anyone else thought "show us your squids"?
Posted by: CunningLingus
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December 30, 2009 4:28 AM
Chuck@29
I'm pretty sure the Firefox add on (christian porn filter)is a joke,BUT, no way am I going to test the theory.
Posted by: Andreas Johansson
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December 30, 2009 11:34 AM
My standing challenge to those who claim there is porn of everything, no exceptions, (this thesis is known as "Rule 34") is to find archaeocyath porn. I haven't been shown any yet ...
Posted by: grendelkhan
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December 31, 2009 10:02 AM
I've hit upon a variety of pictures, ranging from cheesecakey to explicit to disturbingly explicit, depicting the sensual or sexual use of cephalopods or cephalopod-related organs, and I always have a fleeting urge to send them here. I suppose it was inevitable that other people had already done so.
Posted by: grendelkhan
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December 31, 2009 10:12 AM
Andreas Johansson: There are certain boards to which you can bring such a request, and dedicated artists will fulfill them, in order to maintain the integrity of Rule 34.
Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline.
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January 5, 2010 3:54 PM
You mean Blaghag?