Pharyngula

Amazing gibberish

Renew America, the bizarrely, deeply, weirdly conservative web site founded by Alan Keyes, really had to struggle to find someone crazier than Pastor Grant Swank and Fred Hutchison and Bryan Fischer and Wes Vernon (let alone Alan Keyes himself), but they have succeeded. They have Linda Kimball writing for them. She has written the strangest history of evolutionary biology ever — I think she was stoned out of her mind and hallucinating when she made this one up. It’s called “Evolutionism: the dying West’s science of magic and madness“. The title alone is enough to hint at the weirdness within, but just wait until you read where evolution comes from.

Though taught under the guise of empirical science, naturalistic evolution is really a spiritual concept whose taproot stretches back to the dawn of history. It was then, reports ancient Jewish historian Josephus, that Nimrod (Amraphel in the Old Testament) used terror and force to turn the people away from God and toward the worship of irrational nature. Moving forward in time to the Greco-Roman world, evolution serves as the mechanism of soul-transference in metempsychosis and transmigration of souls. In the ancient East, the mystical Upanishads refine evolution and it becomes the mechanism of soul-movement in involutions, emergences, incarnations, and reincarnation. In that both rationalist/materialist/secularism and its’ counterpart Eastern/occult pantheism are modernized nature pseudo-religions, it comes as no surprise that evolution serves as their ‘creation mythos’.

It’s a little surprising that Josephus isn’t regarded as a member of the Greco-Roman world, but I had no idea that I was teaching about metempsychosis and reincarnation. The students are going to be really shocked when I put that on the exam next year.

Kimball’s grip on the history of the last century is no better than her understanding of prior millennia, either.

Today, in addition to original Darwinism — which many scientists have already rejected as useless — there are three other versions of Naturalist evolutionism: neo-Darwinism, punctuated equilibrium, and panspermia, the notion that life was seeded on Earth by highly evolved beings either from another planet, or from another dimension. The latter two versions are favored by powerful Transnational Progressive New Age occult insiders such as Marilyn Ferguson, Robert Muller and Barbara Marx Hubbard as well as by channeling cults who are excitedly ‘receiving revelations’ from discarnate entities calling themselves the Space Brothers, the Council of Nine, Transcended Masters, and more recently, the ancient Ennead of Egypt.

Uh, neo-Darwinism is Darwinism with genetics and population genetics; it’s an evolution of the original theory proposed by Darwin. Punctuated equilibrium is a much narrower subset of evolutionary theory that describes the distribution of observable change in a fossil lineage. It’s nowhere near the same footing or the same scope as neo-Darwinism.

Panspermia isn’t even on the radar.

How come the Space Brothers, the Council of Nine, Transcended Masters, and the ancient Ennead of Egypt never show up at any of the biology conferences I attend (is anyone else confused by the conjunction of “recently” with the ancient Ennead)? And they never publish!

Then there are the conspiracy theories. You knew there had to be conspiracy theories.

Whereas occult pantheism quietly flowed beneath ‘red-colored’ atheist-materialist-communism and Nazism during the twentieth century, that order is quickly reversing. Today, ‘green-colored’ occult pantheist-socialism is brazenly striding onto the world-stage in full public view while materialist-secularism slowly fades to black. Already, zealous High Priests and Priestesses of the occult arts are calling the U.N the world church and the world mind, while other madmen such as David Spangler, demand that everyone submit to a satanic-initiation to qualify for entry to the coming green New World Order.

Back away slowly, everyone. This one needs the tranq gun and the rubber room.

She seems to have confused us godless atheistic materialist evilutionists for a bunch of New Age wackaloons. And her bottom-line message is that we have to prop up good old Christianity, because otherwise the tree-worshipping Satanists are going to take over.

Comments

  1. #1 Nerd of Redhead, OM
    February 21, 2010

    Ouch, it hurt to read that stoopidity. Reality and the religious minded appear to be passing acquaintances, at best.

  2. #2 Thorsonofodin
    February 21, 2010

    I am a tree worshiping agnostic scientist. What’s wrong with that? Speaking of green-minded people taking over the world I encourage Pharyngulites everywhere to join Team wonderbike and take down the mainstream Energy infrastructure one bike pedal at a time…
    http://www.tompainesghost.com/2010/02/hand-crafted-bicycle-exhibit.html

  3. #3 Larry
    February 21, 2010

    My goodness but the crazy is strong in that one.

  4. #4 melior
    February 21, 2010

    Do not be fooled!!1

    Sure, at first glance this may look like garden variety batshit craziness, but careful scrutiny of Kimball’s Fnordian polysyllabicity reveals her true emplacement as a high-level Discordian oracle.

    If still in doubt — consult your own pineal gland!

  5. #5 Zeno
    February 21, 2010

    She left out the lizard people! How can I take her revelations seriously if she won’t own up to the infiltration of our national security systems by the lizard people!

    I’ll bet she’s one of them!

    P.S.: I am not now nor have I have ever been a lizard perssssssssson.

  6. #6 Glen Davidson
    February 21, 2010

    Wait a minute, I thought our problem was that we were materialists, dedicated to total atheism and irrationally opposed to bullshit the truth about God.

    Apparently, though, our problem is that we’re as idiotic as any religionist like Linda is. Sad, if true.

    Unfortunately for the insanity of IDiots, evolution is essentially classical physics (for the most part) applied to biology. We’re following in the footsteps of the pious Newton (not that he didn’t believe in design, but, given his time, relatively excusable), who they like to claim, but whose methods they decidedly reject where “necessary.”

    At least ID might eventually die of its internal contradictions. They can’t decide if we’re “dedicated materialists” or batshit crazy religionists like themselves.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p

  7. #7 Robert MacDonald
    February 21, 2010

    Hey, the terms she’s using are color coded!

    If you can jump start your car without crossing the cables, then you should be able to follow all her impressive lines of argument clearly.

  8. #8 Watson
    February 21, 2010

    The Space Brothers?

    Well now, they sound completely awesome.

  9. #9 POJO
    February 21, 2010

    I am so tired of the conservatives and fundies using “NEW WORLD ORDER” as if that were a liberal construct. In fact, it was used by George HW Bush and, as far as I can tell, no liberal nor Democrat uses the term at all.

  10. #10 egaeus
    February 21, 2010

    …Space Brothers, the Council of Nine, Transcended Masters, and more recently, the ancient Ennead of Egypt.

    Those sound more like band names to me.

  11. #11 Sven DiMilo
    February 21, 2010

    in addition to original Darwinism — which many scientists have already rejected as useless — there are three other versions of Naturalist evolutionism: neo-Darwinism, punctuated equilibrium, and panspermia

    Original Darwinism is indeed useless next to the glory that is Punctuated Neo-Panspermism.
    Turns out Darwin was wrong!

    ‘green-colored’ occult pantheist-socialism is brazenly striding onto the world-stage in full public view* while materialist-secularism slowly fades to black

    …and it falls to deism to show up in the morning and mop up.

    Already, zealous High Priests and Priestesses of the occult arts are calling the U.N the world church and the world mind, while other madmen…demand that everyone submit to a satanic-initiation to qualify for entry to the coming green New World Order.

    Already? Fucking zealots. No patience, that’s their problem. I was told 2012 for the world mind thing and no satanic-initiation-submission until 2020 at the earliest.

    *’green-colored’ occult pantheist-socialism sounds hawt! And/or like a drag queen.

  12. #12 PaulM
    February 21, 2010

    This sounds all an awful lot like an exaggerated version of Cornelius Hunter’s pseudointellectual attempts to derail evolutionary theory as some form of religion.

    Bloody hell, does Hunter piss me off with his smarmy talk.

  13. #13 'Tis Himself, OM
    February 21, 2010

    Today, ‘green-colored’ occult pantheist-socialism is brazenly striding onto the world-stage in full public view while materialist-secularism slowly fades to black.

    But green is not my color. Can we be brown or blue pantheist-socialists instead? However I do look good in black so I’ll stay a materialist-secularist.

  14. #14 Bj÷rn Lindstr÷m
    February 21, 2010

    The “Moving forward in time to the Greco-Roman world” is extra strange given that I would have placed Josephus in the middle or late part of that era.

  15. #15 Valdyr
    February 21, 2010

    “Already, zealous High Priests and Priestesses of the occult arts are calling the U.N the world church and the world mind, while other madmen such as David Spangler, demand that everyone submit to a satanic-initiation to qualify for entry to the coming green New World Order.”

    The only way I can reply to this sentence is:

    wat

  16. #16 Mark Tiedemann
    February 21, 2010

    Maybe she actually thought this was a fiction market and she’s competing with…

    No no, I write science fiction and none of it is THIS weird.

    My whole visceral response to this is a great big “Huh?”

  17. #17 https://me.yahoo.com/a/DhjBEuJ8pt63x6eBKuPx0Jv9_QE-#7c327
    February 21, 2010

    Wow. Just wow. Is it possible that that was the most brilliant Poe ever written?
    I couldn’t possibly have written a better parody of new-agey horseshit, and I work at doing just that sort of thing.

  18. #18 timrowledge
    February 21, 2010

    Can I have some eye-bleach now? Maybe a brain-wash – I’ll take the super-wash with underbody wax and hydrophobic silicone.

  19. #19 Steven Dunlap
    February 21, 2010

    Well if this isn’t GOATS ON FIRE! I don’t know what is.

    I like how all that she dislikes and/or fails to understand is nonetheless somehow, someway inter-related. I love Nazi-Communist conspiracies: what was WWII to her, a clever ruse? There’s no fooling her, is there?

    On the color-coding: in the Islamic world green represents Islam. Just wait till she finds that out.

    Random thought about crazy people –
    From Joss Whedon’s Firefly:

    WASH: What will she do next?

    ZOE: Either kill us all in our sleep or rub soup in our hair.

    WASH: Gee, I hope it’s the soup-thing, ’cause it’s always a hoot and we don’t all die from it.

  20. #20 https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnZyFfKb0qWYyoGaY7BIk8-6EJnV6twwSM
    February 21, 2010

    “Ancient Ennead of Egypt”? Which one? The Great Pesedjet of the 5th Dynasty? The Lesser Pesedjet? one of the Seven Celestial Pesedjets? The Resediyah Pesedjet of Seti I (which even contained three thinly-disguised versions of himself!), the Ennead of Alexander the Great? or is there a new one I haven’t encountered yet?

  21. #21 Greg F.
    February 21, 2010

    Panspermia isn’t even on the radar.

    With all due respect and apologies for the small cluster of links about to follow, I have to disagree. The notion of panspermia outlined by Kimball is a nod to the oddball ancient astronaut mythology but the actual idea of the chemistry of life coming from space is actively being studied by NASA and a number of biologists on their staff. It’s just that in scientific terms, panspermia isn’t as exotic as it sounds at first glance:

    http://worldofweirdthings.com/2009/04/09/why-life-has-a-bias-to-the-left/

    http://worldofweirdthings.com/2009/04/24/how-to-find-an-alien-forest/

    http://worldofweirdthings.com/2009/11/10/its-a-comet-its-a-meteor-no-its-a-piece-of-rna/

    And even Darwin himself was interested in panspermia, though not necessarily for the reasons in which were interested in it today:

    http://worldofweirdthings.com/2009/11/06/charles-darwin-and-otto-hahns-alien-fossils/

  22. #22 DLC
    February 21, 2010

    Whoah… trippy.
    Hey, can I get some of whatever you’re on ?
    must be some good shit.
    Who knew that roman citizen historian Titus Flavius Josephus was an evolutionary biology ?

    reading that, I’m reminded of the Authentic Frontier Gibberish uttered by Gabby Hayes Johnson in Blazing Saddles.
    Except G.H. Johnson made more sense.

  23. #23 Greg F.
    February 21, 2010

    Ah great, I forgot to close the blockquote. May the HTML overlords have mercy on my soul…

  24. #24 JSW
    February 21, 2010

    She’s obviously been guiltied by the Zegnatronic Rocket Society of the 12 Galaxies.

  25. #25 Garvm
    February 21, 2010

    Linda Kimball must be an under cover atheist writing halucinated gibberish, to put in total discredit sites that welcome that kind of “thought” and are only good to we laugh/cry about.

    Another thing: im tired of the “more and more scientists abandon the evolution theorie”.
    Why don┤t put in the net a site with list with all biologists/scientists that work in the biologic (animal or vegetal) field that suport evolution and the others “scientists” that don`t suport evolution?

  26. #26 delphi-ote
    February 21, 2010

    To hear wingnuts in America talk, those Nazis and Communists just loved each other.

  27. #27 NewEnglandBob
    February 21, 2010

    Some people aren’t playing with a full deck of cards.

    Linda Kimball has only the two jokers.

  28. #28 jaranath
    February 21, 2010

    Um. Holy crap.

    Check out the two paragraphs near the bottom, just above “Ideas Have Consequences.

    In case you think you misunderstand them,
    check out the source article those paragraphs are citing.

    Yes, she really is approvingly citing an article that bemoans the horrors of the DOJ hiring disabled persons. And the guy means it. Not just classic boneheaded reaction to “crazy” or “retarded” people, oh no. He’s describing how horrible it would be to have disabled people of any kind working at DOJ, with explicitly mocking examples of some, like blind employees. He talks about merit a lot, too, because clearly blind people have none.

    (sorry, I know many find “retarded” offensive, but I was trying to portray a more commonly insensitive position here for the sake of comparison.)

  29. #29 lykex
    February 21, 2010

    “the mystical Upanishads refine evolution and it becomes the mechanism of soul-movement…”

    Newsflash! Just because people use the same words, doesn’t mean that they’re saying the same things.

    “Neo-Darwinism, punctuated equilibrium, and panspermia”

    Dear Linda, please explain what those three terms mean and what separate them. I dare you.

    “madmen such as David Spangler, demand that everyone submit to a satanic-initiation”

    I haven’t been initiated. Does that mean I’m not worthy to join the NWO? Am I going to be turned into soylent green when then revolution comes?

    What can save me from this awful fate?

    What? A small donation, you say? Let me get my credit card.

    “She seems to have confused us godless atheistic materialist evilutionists for a bunch of New Age wackaloons”

    It’s typical. The religious fuck-wits simply can’t imagine any world-view that isn’t religious. Anyone who disagrees with them must be of a competing religion.
    Their view is quite simple; you’re either a christian or a satan-worshipping maniac. Non-belief just doesn’t register. The non-religious simply don’t exist in their world.

  30. #30 blf
    February 21, 2010

    Admittedly my eyes glazed over when I read what Pee Zed quoted, so I may have missed it, but: Is there any quoted sentence that makes any sense at all?

  31. #31 otrame
    February 21, 2010

    Okay, read through that (though it did hurt) and all I can say is

    What?

  32. #32 Bastion Of Sass
    February 21, 2010

    Linda Kimball wrote:

    The return to the ancient science of magic produced two currents of animism: Eastern/occult pantheism and rationalist/materialist/secularism.

    Whaaaaaa?

    Oooh, my brain hurts after trying to make sense of her article.

  33. #33 Daffyd ap Morgen
    February 21, 2010

    This is not history; this is insanity. Conflating the Divine Pymander and it’s neo-platonism with marxist dialectic… The link is just not there. Having been a student of the occult for over 20 years, one of the main things I learned is the occult is on the extreme fringe. Very few people really practice any form of occultism–and they are not people of power or influence. The tremendous and sinister influences Linda Kimball portrays are simply not there. All, all of this, is sheer invention: It never happened, and it’s not happening. It doesn’t exist. Her writings are not merely sad, delusional nor stupid; they are barbaric.

  34. #34 Mikko
    February 21, 2010

    warning fuse in the intelligence area is blown

  35. #35 a_ray_in_dilbert_space
    February 21, 2010

    You know, the really scary thing about this loon is that there are people out there who take her pseudo-intellectual, hate-filled screeds seriously–and they vote and drive.

    This woman is totally batshit crazy, and yet her opinions are not dismissed for the ravings they so clearly are.

  36. #36 duckphup
    February 21, 2010

    Dang. I just read her whole article. Now, my hair hurts. She’s a genuine, Industrial-Grade fruit-bat.

  37. #37 AnneH
    February 21, 2010

    I googled Barbara Marx Hubbard, because I wondered if she was related to L. Ron Hubbard, founder of the woo of Scientology. I’ve no idea if she is or not, but, she has stolen the word ‘evolution’ for her woo-word salads.

    Linda Kimball seems to be ranting against the New Age nutcases. However, she’s very confused.

    I do understand how green socialist atheists can be seen as opponents of the ‘we-don’t have-to-worry-about-the-environment-because-Armageddon-is-coming-a-week-after-tomorrow’ christian end-timers.

  38. #38 badgersdaughter
    February 21, 2010

    Very few people really practice any form of occultism–and they are not people of power or influence. The tremendous and sinister influences Linda Kimball portrays are simply not there. All, all of this, is sheer invention: It never happened, and it’s not happening. It doesn’t exist.

    I have a lot of friends who are professional psychics. They are so fucking gullible I get the urge, sometimes, to take advantage of them, but I’m just not the type who would enjoy that sort of thing. I recently lost a friend because she took exception to my critique of some poseur channeler asshole talking “Quantum Woo” and pretending to be the angel “Metatron”. Jesus Christ. All I was trying to do was save her two hundred dollars she couldn’t afford, and maybe keep her from getting taken advantage of in other, less obvious ways.

    Don’t ask me how I got mixed up with this group. Well, OK. I was recently going though a bad breakup, a 12-year relationship, and they were nice to me. Oh, hell, yeah, these people are nice. They’re not terribly effective or intelligent, but they are caring, except for the ones who are users.

    I need new friends.

  39. #39 badgersdaughter
    February 21, 2010

    Barbara Marx Hubbard is unrelated to L. Ron Hubbard.

  40. #40 https://me.yahoo.com/a/xnK7TG0Lo5mL8GKo5hytRqwpHvFihEl7Eat3.EjEEeCYqC8fHRcH#05c76
    February 21, 2010

    GOATS ON FIRE!

    Um, no…

    GOATS MUTUALLY ANNIHILATING WITH ANTI-GOATS IN A BURST OF GAMMA RADIATION!

    Lithified Detritus

  41. #41 Blondin
    February 21, 2010

    I’m gonna tell her about The Great Green Arkleseizure (beware The Coming of the Great White Handkerchief).

  42. #42 Dwymore
    February 21, 2010

    Um, wow. That’s about all I can say. Green-colored? Red-colored? Did she really lump Communists in with Nazis? The ability of some people to string together words that make meaningless sentences is amazing. What are they thinking?!?

  43. #43 feralboy12
    February 21, 2010

    Yes, back away slowly.
    Avoid eye contact.
    If there are no eyes, avoid all contact.
    Yeesh. When John Frum returns, this woman is toast.

  44. #44 Daffyd ap Morgen
    February 21, 2010

    Ms. Kimball’s “essay” (if I may call it such) is a perfect example of why we need critical thinking so badly, now more than ever. There isn’t even a central theme, just an atavistic reaction: if it’s not Xtian, it’s godless humanism. So she sees this evil network rooted in ancient heresy, and evolution is it’s obscenely beautiful flower. Once all things non-Xtian are lumped together, then of course they have to be related in some way, because they all originate from one source: Satan. Since Xtian faith is defined by her as rational, any form of humanism is irrational (I love this interesting reversal), so the actual use of reason is to estrange humans from God(tm). This flat thinking (humanism = deny god = satan = communism = science = evolution = etc., etc.) is so typical of Xtian polemic. She’s just better at it than some.

  45. #45 raven
    February 21, 2010

    The latter two versions are favored by powerful Transnational Progressive New Age occult insiders such as Marilyn Ferguson, Robert Muller and Barbara Marx Hubbard as well as by channeling cults…

    Who are these powerful Transnational New Age occult insiders? I’ve never heard of any of them.

    Never heard of Linda Kimball either. Got to hand it to her to be able to write something so devoid of facts and sense.

  46. #46 Legion
    February 21, 2010

    This is Time Cube quality drivel.

    We, that is, all 6000 of us, are speechless.

    Amazing.

  47. #47 the2ndsaint
    February 21, 2010

    This is the second > Timecube screed I’ve read this month. Is the world getting crazier, or the crazies just getting louder?

  48. #48 RamblinDude
    February 21, 2010

    Don?t dismiss her lightly, for oft it was told in ancient times that one such as she would arise from the ruins of Glondar, and through treachery and alchemical magics, reign as foe to the white wizards Albus Dumbledore, and Gandalf the White, and PZ Myers. Be on your guards, defenders of reason, for she is in the service of the dark lord Keyes, prefect at the Ultraconservatorium, arcane disseminator of doxological immaterialism, and soon they will hold sway over legions who are now in the service of the lamb of God, for verily, birthers and baggers will believe anything. So it is written.

  49. #49 raven
    February 21, 2010

    Linda Kimball Michnews:

    Looking at these deadly statistics, can we believe anything other than that the Left are insane monsters? They’ve knowingly unleashed the destructive forces of sexual license upon America knowing in advance what the deadly outcome would be. These are the maddened offspring of past and present genocidal murderers, butchers who are responsible for exterminating 100,000,000 plus people and counting: Mao, Lenin, Stalin, Hitler (was a socialist), Pol Pot, Kim Jung II, and Castro.

    And to promote and enforce their agenda of moral degeneracy, death, and destruction, America’s communists formed up an army of organizations to do their bidding. Among just a fraction of these are the ACLU, GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation); Lambda Legal, AFT (Am. Federation of Teachers), NEA (Nat’l Educators Assoc.); NOW; NARAL; Gay Straight Alliance Network; and GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, & Straight Educators Network). All of these, plus many more are boldly listed on the Communist Party USA website: http://www.cpusa.org/ The Human Rights Campaign, yet another ‘gay’ activist group, is found on various progressive websites, and it actively works against the appointment of strict Constitutionalist judges.

    Americans,these evil people are teaching your children to become fornicating sodomites (buggerers). They don’t care that your children are becoming diseased in the process. Keep in mind what Lenin, one of their “fathers” said to them: “…..everything becomes moral in pursuit of the annihilation of their (our) culture.” Everything becomes ‘moral’, even turning children into diseased degenerates.

    Well, she is just a Michelle Bachmann type nutcase. When she isn’t making stuff up about scientists, she is babbling on about commies under the bed, gays escaping from their closets and the gay conspiracy. Routine Teabagger/Theothuglican babble.

    LK: Looking at these deadly statistics, can we believe anything other than that the Left are insane monsters?

    Well, after reading Linda Kimball, Michelle Bachmann, and Ann Couter, can anyone believe anything other than that the christofascists are crazy monsters?

  50. #50 Hurin
    February 21, 2010

    Well this is obviously the work of the ancient Vogon mind control conspiracy. See the Vogons hated Jesus even before he was born so they channeled the crab people from Sirius and asked them to take control of the minds of prominent christians of the future to make them write garbage and look like idiots.

    So you see, when creationists write about how scientists are drinking goats’ blood with Nebuchadnezzar and the space brothers it isn’t really that they are stupid or crazy. The fact is they’ve had their brains addled by outer space crabs who hate jesus, and therefor you must respect their scholarly opinions.

  51. #51 Nineveh
    February 21, 2010

    …what?

  52. #52 alysonmiers
    February 21, 2010

    force to turn the people away from God and toward the worship of irrational nature.

    There goes my irony meter again. Damn these wingnuts, this is getting expensive.

  53. #53 Hurin
    February 21, 2010

    …what?

    Its a joke. Creationist “logic” is fun.

  54. #54 dae
    February 21, 2010

    Ah, to live in the 13th century when you could burn heretics at the stake and die of the bubonic plague.

  55. #55 MadScientist
    February 21, 2010

    Forget the tranquilizers, this is industrial grade lunacy. I’m calling in the Russians and that nerve gas they used in response to that terrorist hostage situation at that school.

  56. #56 Larry
    February 21, 2010

    Curiously, Kimball left an early draft on her desk which one of our operatives recovered. In reference to a question about what sign is she is waiting for to show the evolutionists have taken over, she wrote:

    Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

  57. #57 nastasie
    February 21, 2010

    Usually I’m torn between laughing and crying when I read these insane rants, but this time I’m just going to go ahead and laugh, no dilemmas.

  58. #58 Nineveh
    February 21, 2010

    Sorry Hurin, the “what” was actually directed at the post itself, not anyone’s comments. It was all I could muster after reading her…”history”?

  59. #59 Aquaria
    February 21, 2010

    She put all the words together in a structurally sound way, but it only made the stupid more glaring.

    Go figure.

  60. #60 Peter G.
    February 21, 2010

    See what comes of the modern liberal arts education. You get this. And it is the perfect example of post-modern literary criticism (sophomore level) by someone who has never taken a science course and doesn’t appear to understand the difference between fiction and non-fiction.

  61. #61 https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnIOM7E1COYryEQtIb0ErmXlTEuXvdorFE
    February 21, 2010

    Confusing Nazis with Communists?

    I’m not astonished. That one is a very American pastime; I’ve had otherwise seemingly rational Americans insist that of course the Nazis where leftists – hey, it says National Socialist German Workers Party in the name right there! Inconceivable that the name might be about as descriptive as the names of nations which include the word “Democratic” (and which the very same people like to mock).

    Well, ok, they usually were gun nuts voting republican, or libertarians – but they certainly sounded far more rational than Linda “forgot to take my medicine” Kimball. (And yes, at least to me Linda does sound like there’s something seriously wrong with her brain chemistry, and not just like your garden variety conspiration theorist/creationist fanatic.)

  62. #62 Sastra
    February 21, 2010

    A lot of Christians do not distinguish between humanists and New Agers. This is partly due to their tendency to lump all non-Christians together, but they also have problems dealing with the fact that humanists are metaphysical naturalists. Nature? Atheists must worship nature. They also think magic, the paranormal, and the occult are all atheistic, because they go ‘against God.’ Remember, these are the same folks who think atheists hate God.

    There’s also politics. Most New Age, neo-pagan types are both politically liberal, and can’t stand the Fundamentalist Right. Those characteristics often describe science-based humanists. Must be the same group, then, since Liberals are all alike.

    The “science-based” distinction flies right over their heads; remember, the woo-types think science is on their side, and that they’re very “scientific,” too. It doesn’t fool us, but a lot of conservative Christians think alt med works, so it fools them.

    A good essay. There’s so much to appreciate.

  63. #63 ConcernedJoe
    February 21, 2010

    Praise Jeeessuuusss

    I was an atheist but I recant. I cannot resist Sister Kimball’s revelations. Mine eyes are open, and mine ears are attuned unto the word of His messenger.

    Dr. Myers, or Mr. Meyers or Minnesota Man or Trophy Husband or whatever in Satan’s work you call yourself, how can you resist the Truth and the Way? How can you not open your heart to the logic of the Living God as elucidated by His anointed?

    All things are possible in the Lord ..I was Earth bound – confined by your evil facts and evidence and results – now the chains that bound me are snapped – and I can fly — I can fly — I can fllllyyyyy [SPLAT]

    ____________

    Listen it ain’t great satire but the stupid made my brain like numb !! I mean just f’n numb!

  64. #64 badgersdaughter
    February 21, 2010

    …someone who has never taken a science course and doesn’t appear to understand the difference between fiction and non-fiction.

    Here’s someone who has taken many science classes (I’m embarrassed to say he has advanced degrees in astronomy, physics, and engineering) and does understand (as a published science fiction writer) the difference between fiction and non-fiction, and nevertheless not only embraces but enthusiastically produces woo:

    http://www.webscription.net/p-1114-the-science-behind-the-secret.aspx

    Make sure you review the Sample Chapters:

    http://www.webscription.net/chapters/1439133395/1439133395.htm

    Phooey. I’m going to go re-read Alan Sokal’s Fashionable Nonsense again.

  65. #65 Timothy
    February 21, 2010

    Real world unemployment is approaching 20% and this moron has a job? Doesn’t quite seem right.

  66. #66 Hypatia's Daughter
    February 21, 2010

    #49n raven

    And to promote and enforce their agenda of moral degeneracy, death, and destruction, America’s communists formed up an army of organizations to do their bidding. Among just a fraction of these are the ACLU….

    Not to the knock the other groups she listed, but it galls me to the max that an organization created strictly to defend the Constitution always gets bashed by the fascotards.
    Great FSM, I cannot tell if these people hate their fellow humans more than human rights or human rights more than their fellow humans….

  67. #67 Hurin
    February 21, 2010

    Sorry Hurin, the “what” was actually directed at the post itself, not anyone’s comments. It was all I could muster after reading her…”history”?

    No problem. I misunderstood your intent.

    I was also pretty surprised to learn that evolutionary biology was actually a front for the new age/satanic Illuminati. Really, who would have guessed?

  68. #68 badgersdaughter
    February 21, 2010

    David Spangler actually did say that thing about the Luciferian Initiation, but like Humpty Dumpty in Alice in Wonderland, he did not mean exactly what the words mean. But the reason I’m bothering to waste one calorie of energy typing this post is to nail down the fact that he is not a UN official, as is often reported by conspiracy sites.

  69. #69 AnneH
    February 21, 2010

    Barbara Marx Hubbard is unrelated to L. Ron Hubbard.

    ..except that they both profited from writing books filled with nonsense.

    thanks, badgersdaughter. :)

  70. #70 badgersdaughter
    February 21, 2010

    AnneH, I have been a vocal critic of Scientology and most of my friends are currently mired in Barb Hubbard’s nonsense. I could say plenty, but I refrained. I didn’t mean to be so curt. You’re welcome. :)

  71. #71 Azkyroth
    February 21, 2010

    Are we sure they aren’t being Sokaled?

  72. #72 raven
    February 21, 2010

    Great FSM, I cannot tell if these people hate their fellow humans more than human rights or human rights more than their fellow humans….

    I’m a big fan of the ACLU and the US constitution also.

    Don’t worry, they hate everything and everybody including secular democracy the USA, and especially other xians. I read some of her other columns. She hates the Enlightenment among other things.

    LK:

    Atomism was from its inception an antihuman abomination which in later years, would attract those who enjoy the control and domination of others. Atomism set all things in ceaseless, purposeless motion by reducing everything—including man, his soul, and even his thoughts—to mindless atoms perpetually colliding with each other in a void.

    Doesn’t look like she is much of a fan of atomic theory either. What else? Probably hates the Theories of Gravity, Molecular Orbitals, Germs causing Disease, and Relativity as well.

  73. #73 badgersdaughter
    February 21, 2010

    Azkyroth… take it from me… Renew America are not being Sokaled. This crap is common currency in certain circles, like the one I am unfortunate enough to run with at the moment.

    …For the love of the blessed IPU, somebody get me out of this madhouse…

  74. #74 martha
    February 21, 2010

    Well then, who is David Spangler?

  75. #75 cristabelyyc
    February 21, 2010

    I wonder if Miss Kimball is related to the Mormons. That’s an important surname.

  76. #76 badgersdaughter
    February 21, 2010

    David Spangler is one of the earliest and foremost leaders of what became the New Age Movement… in fact, he pioneered the term “New Age” itself. The intentional community of Findhorn in Scotland hired him, sight all unseen, after presumably having a dream or something about someone of his name showing up. He ran it for a few years and then went global; he’s still associated vaguely with them, and Findhorn claims to be loosely associated with the UN, and that’s where the wingnuts and fundies lost their minds.

    I think this is all on the Wikipedia page for Spangler, anyway.

  77. #77 speedweasel
    February 21, 2010

    badgersdaughter said,

    I need new friends.

    One of the best decisions I ever made was to sever contact with a number of ‘friends’ who were proving themselves to be anything but.

    Never regretted it for a moment. Life is too short and I deserve better.

  78. #78 Diaz A.
    February 21, 2010

    I’m… astounded. Her output is very much like my mother’s when she’s not taking her medication. My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur.

    So, take that for whatever it’s worth, but this woman’s ranting gives me a very familiar chill.

  79. #79 SG
    February 21, 2010

    First thing first: someone please buy this poor woman a dictionary.

  80. #80 raven
    February 21, 2010

    David Spangler:

    “Lucifer comes to give to us the final gift of wholeness. If we accept it then he is free and we are free. This is the Luciferic initiation. It is one that many people now, and in the days ahead, will be facing, for it is an initiation in the New Age.”

    Never heard of David Spangler either. Some people collect rocks or stamps. I guess some people collect wackos. Spangler seems to be an early leader in the New Age movement.

    Kimball:

    while other madmen such as David Spangler, demand that everyone submit to a satanic-initiation to qualify for entry to the coming green New World Order.

    Spangler never said that although he said something vaguely similar. He does not have any connection to the UN, this is a lie of the kooks.

  81. #81 TimKO,,.,,
    February 21, 2010

    She lost me with “reports ancient Jewish historian Josephus”.

    She’s strongly (and erroneously) cluing the reader into thinking Josephus was some sort of eyewitness journalist. Josephus is better compared to Michener.

  82. #82 MadScientist
    February 21, 2010

    [OT] Well, it’s also amazing (but typical) gibberish:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8517070.stm

    After the fact, spirits contacted voodoo believers about a ‘coming catastrophe’ which conveniently happens to be the earthquake. Don’t you just love post-facto premonitions?

  83. #83 Ichthyic
    February 21, 2010

    With all due respect and apologies for the small cluster of links about to follow, I have to disagree.

    then you’d be admitting to error, since by definition panspermia has more to do with abiogenesis than evolution.

    we forgive your confusion.

    don’t let it happen again.

  84. #84 Tronzu
    February 21, 2010

    Hm, she doesn’t look insane on her picture.

    Ah well, at least she can groom herself.

  85. #85 Sven DiMilo
    February 21, 2010

    Here‘s the level of ignorance we’re dealing with:

    History records the cyclical repetition of the four seasons, year after year, down through the long history of mankind. History likewise records that the return of Spring is always, without fail, accompanied by the return of birds. Each kind pairs off, builds nests peculiar to its own kind, and procreates. Not one time has history recorded the absence of Spring nor a robin mating with a bluebird or a frog. Nor has history ever reported a nest adorned with a porch, TV antenna, or swimming pool. Why not? Because just as the seasons must repeat cyclically, birds must likewise do what birds do. They possess no free will, hence must do as instinct dictates. Yet if evolution is true, one might reasonably expect to hear of extraordinary displacements upsetting the rhythm and pattern of the four seasons as well as to see evolved bird/frogs (brogs?) nesting in terraced penthouse nests.

    Plenty more where that came from. It’s Ray-Comfort-level stoopid, and I do not make that comparison lightly.

  86. #86 Suck Poppet
    February 21, 2010

    LK from another one of her articles:

    Truth, as recorded over and over by history shows that the seed of wheat has never brought forth anything but wheat. We all know this is true; it is common knowledge. Never once in our long history has the seed of wheat brought forth tomatoes, or something never before seen. Yet these miraculous events ought to have happened at least once if evolution is true.

    Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Stop it, you’re killing me.

    What? You’re serious? Still haven’t found that crocaduck, eh?
    Hoo boy. Houston, we have a problem here …

  87. #87 dkew
    February 21, 2010

    When you click on the Linda Kimball name, there is a page with links to some of her other ravings, and a list of ads, including one for “Expelled.”
    Kimball drools

  88. #88 raven
    February 21, 2010

    Linda the kook:

    Yet if evolution is true, one might reasonably expect to hear of extraordinary displacements upsetting the rhythm and pattern of the four seasons as well as to see evolved bird/frogs (brogs?) nesting in terraced penthouse nests.

    Here’s the level of ignorance we’re dealing with:

    Well she sort of got it right. Except it was apes not birds. Over the last 5 million years, an ape lineage did develop a huge brain. Invented stone tools, tamed fire, and now some live in penthouses with TVs and swimming pools. More are just lunatics babbling away on the internet.

    Now sure what evolution or birds with TV sets and swimming pools has to do with the four seasons. We are a long ways away from being able to change the axial tilt of the earth yet. But wait a few decades and we will melt the arctic ice cap and a few more decades later, melt Antarctica and raise sea levels everywhere. Take that Linda. LOL

    As a few have noted, her gibberish reads a lot like an unmedicated schizophrenic. Delusions, incoherency, and paranoia fit in well with the DSM-IV.

  89. #89 ohioobserver
    February 21, 2010

    There is a tragic element to this person and her ilk: She and they will continue their ignorant rants against western materialism, and the science it engenders, while continuing to live the technological lifestyle science supports (this woman flies on airplanes, uses the internet, and keeps her food preserved in a refrigerator. She looks old enough to depend on medication to maintain her health).

    And we, the scientists, will continue to go on providing the knowledge and ideas that support Western life. Quietly, without fuss, and much notice from the media or our critics, we’ll go on improving the quality of life, and Linda and her ignorant friends will go on using it and cursing those who create it.

    Ignorant ingrates.

  90. #90 Peter H
    February 21, 2010

    Wow! That is some deep well of stupid she’s dived into!

  91. #91 https://me.yahoo.com/a/fmNe0g4K3PT3lo9YncSRaNWDN9YFBAzHCg--#a1b6c
    February 21, 2010

    The title of the event is also a big shout-out to the white-supremist crowd that makes up a not-inconsiderable part of the GOP’s base:

    “Evolutionism: the dying West’s science of magic and madness”.

    Why “the dying West”? Because it’s an article of faith among the Cons that Europe’s been overrun by icky mongrel hordes — especially Muslim ones — and that the white race, the upholder of Western culture and learning, is dying out there, and seriously endangered here.

  92. #92 moochava
    February 21, 2010

    Kent Hovind’s doctoral dissertation, like this pile of garbage, also attempted vague and borderline-incomprehensible links between evolution and the history of (non-Christian) superstition and mysticism. Is that common in these types of rambling pseudohistorical criticisms (perhaps indicating an original source for this behavior), or do these people’s brains just all misfire in the same way, making up nonsense occult connections among whatever they fear and don’t understand?

  93. #93 TransHero
    February 21, 2010

    Wow… just… wow…

    It’s almost like these dogmatist lunatics just clump nonsense together and get an argument. Or, rather, an argument between rocks. There’s just no intelligence. Not only is her knowledge of history sketchy, but she clearly has NO knowledge of science. She just jumbles a bunch of words around to make it plausible-ish to people who are just as willing as she is to undermine science.

    I postulate that they actually know what she’s saying at all. They just like the big words being used to shoot down what they consider “evil” but are either too stupid, too ignorant, or too embarrassed to admit they don’t know what she’s saying.

  94. #94 https://me.yahoo.com/a/Z9ftauMkvZ9rqhkQvvcKJNNnZ81EZ2RSsFx8#621f2
    February 21, 2010

    @badgersdaughter

    The frightening thing about Doc Taylor descending into woo is that he has also written a textbook on rocket science.

  95. #95 Levi in NY
    February 21, 2010

    As a socialist, I sincerely wish all people who accept evolution were also socialists! However, the two have absolutely nothing to do with each other, and while the vast majority of socialists do accept evolution, the reverse is definitely not the case.

    If anything, I would think it would be easier to draw analogies between evolution and capitalism. You know, survival of the fittest and all that. But evolution and capitalism are also completely unrelated concepts.

  96. #96 dannystevens.myopenid.com
    February 21, 2010

    The views expressed by RenewAmerica columnists are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of RenewAmerica or its affiliates.
    (See RenewAmerica’s publishing standards.)

    They have publishing standards!?

    Oh, so they do:

    The mission and purpose of RenewAmerica is to strengthen America’s grassroots ? through informing and equipping them upon a foundation that centers in the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and biblical premises.

    As our official statement of purpose says,

    [RenewAmerica] has no philosophy, image, or agenda beyond this one unifying premise: America must return to its founding principles if it is to survive.

    Because of this inclusive, simple focus, we invite ? as well as tolerate ? a diversity of views that reflect our principled mission.

    This means that RenewAmerica gives its writers and representatives reasonable latitude to speak their minds from their own unique perspective. We have no desire to stifle responsible views.

    Irony..meter..on..overload…must…..reach…..kill……..switch………….

  97. #97 Gore
    February 21, 2010

    I think a more appropriate response to this would be:

    “Congratulations Linda Kimball! Your application for Most Bat-shit Crazy Fundy of the Year has been accepted following a review by our panel of judges. Here at the Most Bat-shit Crazy Fundy Annual Awards, our contestants are expected to pass the most rigorous tests of lucidity, incoherence, ineptitude, and out right bat-shit craziness. With so many excellent and qualified applicants attempting to enter the running for this year’s Most Bat-shit Crazy Fundy, it is needless to say that it has been a difficult decision. But we are pleased to inform you that your latest public publication has secured your spot in the running, and we will be keeping you posted on any further developments. We would also like to add that by providing more of your inane ramblings of twisted conspiracy… er, submissions will only further ensure your chances of winning the coveted title of Most Bat-shit Crazy Fundy of the Year. So keep posting, and once again, Congratulations!

    Sincerely,
    The 12th Annual Most Bat-shit Crazy Fundy Awards”

  98. #98 Abelard
    February 21, 2010

    As a Classicist I can tell you without reservation that her understanding of the Antiquities of Josephus is laughable. The reference she makes is to Josephus’ story of the origins of human government supposedly first invented by the Babylonian Nimrod of Genesis. (like many myths of antiquity its an etiology). The story has a tradition among rabbinical literature (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nimrod#The_evil_Nimrod_vs._the_righteous_Abraham for a fairly good overview) but it is not scriptural. Norman Horn provides a good account of the facets of Josephus’ Nimrod story (see: http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig8/horn2.html).
    This woman clearly has never read the Antiquities. I won’t even pretend to understand what she means by her next sentence. Its pure rubbish.

    -Abe
    http://badlatin.wordpress.com/

  99. #99 Haley
    February 21, 2010

    I was just thinking about the evolution of the theory of evolution and the ancient greeks too! Except I was thinking about how Plato, with his philosophy of Forms and essences, held back the theory of evolution and stagnated Western thought for thousands of years. Which I’d like to think is less crazy than this woman’s idea.

  100. #100 https://me.yahoo.com/a/7IW3Q_E3tsKloSlnYxkYxNayMxiHG7hu.xyaWoTqcg--#e7f3e
    February 21, 2010

    I agree with the other Pharyngulites here that this is strongly in the running for the Bat-shit Crazy Fundy award. We should probably also encourage Linda and her friends to apply as a team for the Darwin Award for this year: Darwin Awards .

    “Not all conservatives are stupid people, but most stupid people are conservatives.”
    -John Stuart Mill

    plumberbob

  101. #101 Watson
    February 21, 2010

    Abelard wrote:

    This woman clearly has never read the Antiquities.

    You’ve got some balls to make that allegation, Abelard.

  102. #102 coughlanbrianm
    February 21, 2010

    Erm … “interesting” article Linda. I guess a vote for the world parliament referendum is out of the question?

    http://www.voteworldparliament.org

  103. #103 talesoffan
    February 21, 2010

    Wow… I have no words to describe this…

  104. #104 https://me.yahoo.com/a/7IW3Q_E3tsKloSlnYxkYxNayMxiHG7hu.xyaWoTqcg--#e7f3e
    February 22, 2010

    I have read some of Josephus’ Antiquities in English translation, and I wouldn’t dare to question Abelard’s knowledge, but I was under the impression that he was writing about the Jewish community for a Roman audience. From what I’ve read, I’d agree with Abelard that Linda shows no evidence of having read more than the Cliff’s Notes version, or maybe even just the Classics Illustrated comic book version.

    http://www.darwinawards.com/

    Sorry, I hope this is a better reference for my post #100.

    plumberbob

  105. #105 Nick
    February 22, 2010

    ‘Though taught under the guise of empirical science, naturalistic evolution is really a spiritual concept’.

    I am sure that the scientists who are battling to find a way to control malaria-carrying mosquitoes are thrilled to hear that those mosquitoes are not evolving better defences against the various chemicals that have been used as pesticides against them. Clearly, the mosquitoes are evolving spiritually, and hence their prayers for salvation are becoming more effective.

  106. #106 Ian
    February 22, 2010

    Council of Nine?
    http://whitewolf.wikia.com/wiki/Council_of_Nine

    Someone’s been confusing RPGs with reality.

  107. #107 Steven Dunlap
    February 22, 2010

    are we being Sokaled?

    I vote no. Sokal’s hoax article, Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity makes some sort of sense, at least at first. A little like the wit and wisdom of Yogi Berra. Absurd, but does make some sort of sense as long as you don’t think about it too hard. Sokal’s writing has complete, grammatically correct English sentences with clarity and narrative flow. Sadly (and humorously) attempts at parody fail to do justice to the incoherence of the inane and insane.

    For example, when Tina Fey imitated Sarah Palin on SNL by mixing some of what Palin said during the Couric interview with Fey’s own material the satirical bits that Fey wrote made more sense than what Palin actually said in real life.

    We are cursed, living in interesting times.

  108. #108 sandiseattle
    February 22, 2010

    Got to get this book, it actually sounds interesting.

  109. #109 Amorrn
    February 22, 2010

    I stopped reading this drivel when the author used the phrase, “metempsychosis and transmigration of souls.”

    Seriously, what the hell is that even supposed to mean?

    Bat-shit Crazy Fundie award, indeed.

  110. #110 DonRocko
    February 22, 2010

    You’d think that she’d have read the name “Josephus” and realized it was a Latinized version of Joseph…

    Maybe she’s doing that thing a lot of Christian pseudo-history buffs like to do, where anything Jewish has to be older than Rome. I mean really, they only define the Greco-Roman world by its persecutions of early Christians, why concern themselves with the endless examples of cultural exchange or diffusion?

  111. #111 jcmartz.myopenid.com
    February 22, 2010
  112. #112 Bastion Of Sass
    February 22, 2010

    A shorter version of this article:

    Rationalism, humanism, secularism, and science require a belief in magic; black, Satanic magic.

    Religion, belief in god, and creationism do not involve magic or magical thinking of any type.

    Ah, yeah….o-k-a-a-a-ay.

    Linda Kimball, step away from the keyboard slowly, ask someone to shut down your computer, hide it from you, and then drive you to the nearest mental health facility.

  113. #113 John Morales
    February 22, 2010

    Amorrn,

    I stopped reading this drivel when the author used the phrase, “metempsychosis and transmigration of souls.”

    You mean because metempsychosis means the transmigration of souls, or for referring to evolution as its purported mechanism¹?

    What Sastra said @62 would explain such silliness.

    ¹ I wonder what she makes the psychopomps to be.

  114. #114 ShadowWalkyr
    February 22, 2010

    . . . Nimrod (Amraphel in the Old Testament) used terror and force to turn the people away from God . . . .

    Would it be appropriate to mention that Nimrod was actually known in the Old Testament as “Nimrod“?

  115. #115 Bone Oboe
    February 22, 2010

    Sven DiMilo @ #11 said,

    *’green-colored’ occult pantheist-socialism sounds hawt! And/or like a drag queen.

    Reminds me of:

    “(One of the disadvantages of longer hair) is a lot of people think your a commie-fag-junkie, and it’s tough to talk ‘em out of three things at once. What would a ‘commie-fag-junkie‘ sound like?…”
    ~George Carlin, from “Classic Gold” Disc 1, not sure which album it came from originally, CD liner notes long gone.

  116. #116 SelfishGene
    February 22, 2010

    Serious comments are just not sufficient here re. this, I think Linda needs a shit, a shower, bottle of Shiraz and a shag – just like Anne Coulter – I put myself forward to do both at the same time.

  117. #117 Rorschach
    February 22, 2010

    I think Linda needs a shit, a shower, bottle of Shiraz and a shag

    I find your trivializing of mental illness and incapacity rather disturbing, since you seem to have realised in the first part of your comment that this person’s effluent does not warrant any serious comment at all, which is the bit I agree with.

  118. #118 Eetto
    February 22, 2010

    “occult pantheism quietly flowed beneath ‘red-colored’ atheist-materialist-communism and Nazism during the twentieth century.”

    Vaguely close to making sense there. The History Channel doc “Occult History of the Third Reich”(1991) is worth a watch concerning occult influences on Nazism. It’s on Youtube and places I think.

  119. #119 dinkum
    February 22, 2010

    Serious comments are just not sufficient here re. this, I think Linda needs a shit, a shower, bottle of Shiraz and a shag – just like Anne Coulter – I put myself forward to do both at the same time.

    Shagging Anne Coulter?

    SelfishGene, step over, please. I’m going to slap you, puke on your shoes, and slap you again.

  120. #120 Rorschach
    February 22, 2010

    Shagging Anne Coulter?

    *Obligatory cultural reference follows*

    It has been done before

  121. #121 Stephen Wells
    February 22, 2010

    Do you think maybe these people honestly don’t understand the concept of an explanation that doesn’t involve invisible wizards?

  122. #122 YamaZaru
    February 22, 2010

    Oh boy, I thought the Disco Tute-standard “Epicurus-Marx-Darwin-Freud” lineage was ridiculous enough…Kimball must’ve been reading the teabagger manual on how to conflate completely unrelated political/epistemological tendencies!

  123. #123 Walton
    February 22, 2010

    Kimball must’ve been reading the teabagger manual on how to conflate completely unrelated political/epistemological tendencies!

    That would be a very short manual, consisting of four words: “Just make it up.”

    Of course, these people have learnt that if you just make up random bullshit about virtually any subject, the majority of people won’t know the difference, as long as you talk with an air of confident authority and pepper your bullshit with plenty of technical-sounding terms. And when someone who actually does know about the subject points out that you’re just making shit up, the trick is to attack them as an elitist intellectual and ideological enemy.

    Humanity is depressing.

  124. #124 https://me.yahoo.com/hairychris444#96384
    February 22, 2010

    plumberbob

    I have read some of Josephus’ Antiquities in English translation, and I wouldn’t dare to question Abelard’s knowledge, but I was under the impression that he was writing about the Jewish community for a Roman audience.

    Yeah, that’s pretty much what I made of it too. He was a Romanised Jewish ex-general, and while his stuff is good (well written, detailed) I’m not particularly sure how objective it was! Especially if he was writing in the Roman style of the times where histories are as much used to put the historian’s views across as anything else.

  125. #125 Moggie
    February 22, 2010

    This looks like a written version of the “Gish Gallop”. Fling as much poo as possible at the page in a short space, and the gullible will be impressed by your apparent broad command of the subject, while your opponents will be forced to expend a lot of effort refuting all your garbage – and will probably trigger a tl;dr response in the audience.

  126. #126 Lotharloo
    February 22, 2010

    My goodness. That website is the hive of crazy.

    Look at this article, titled “Why I’m not jumping on the Palin bandwagon.” by some creepy dude named “Matt C. Abbott”:

    http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/abbott/100221

    So why doesn’t this guy like Palin so much? Because “[Palin] apparently doesn’t oppose the use of condoms, and that’s also problematic.”

    And at the end he comments that:

    “The sad fact is that pro-lifers who oppose legalized abortion and contraception are in the minority and probably will remain so, barring an act of God, until the end of time.”

  127. #127 strange gods before me ?
    February 22, 2010

    Stephen, you’ve got it. How to begin? “Please understand that you do not have to start from the premise of invisible wizards.”

  128. #128 dkew
    February 22, 2010

    Ohioobserver @ 89

    She and they will continue their ignorant rants against western materialism, and the science it engenders, while continuing to live the technological lifestyle science supports

    Yes, we have this woman condemning the Enlightenment, the philosophy that allows her to have a voice as a citizen and woman, while using the tools that science has brought to the world, that (statistically) are what has kept her alive to maturity, so to speak.
    And this applies in spades to the anti-Western forces that use modern communications to condemn these philosophies, culture and successes, and modern technologies (weapons) to fight them.

  129. #129 Peter H
    February 22, 2010

    @ #111

    If I read the article correctly, 100% of the poll results represent only 69% of those who were polled. I’m no statistician, but that certainly seems to me like dealing from a short deck.

  130. #130 fishnguy
    February 22, 2010

    This must be an example of the “speaking in toungues” that one hears about from the christian community from time to time. It sounds like complete gibberish to the untrained ear, but to those “in tune” somehow it makes complete sense. The only way an outsider can make sense of such stuff is to shove ones head as far up your ass as possible.

  131. #131 great.american.satan
    February 22, 2010

    People like this are so violently crazy they scare me. If enough people took this kind of Vampire-Lizard-Satan-Commie-Nazi-UFO-Whatever horseshit seriously, we’d be in deeper shit than we are already.
    My natural inclination is to respect different viewpoints and not endorse censorship, etc etc, but people like this make me long for the kind of dictatorship where they can be sent into distant holes in the ground and never be heard from again.
    It’s funny how our enemies can turn us into everything we hate if we let them. That’s why I’ve got to remember not to turn rich people into hamburger when the revolution comes… Gotta be better than them.

  132. #132 Pierce R. Butler
    February 22, 2010

    Thorsonofodin @ # 2: I am a tree worshiping agnostic scientist.

    What would it take to convince you of the existence (or non-existence) of trees?

  133. #133 Athene
    February 22, 2010

    Owww MY head. That was the worst article of Bull S**T I have ever read. Believe me I’ve read some big ones! It didn’t make an ounce of sense, nor did it have any sitings/research to back up said claims. It’s like she’s sitting in her basement, surrounded by crusafixes, asking god to type through her while on some sort of hallucinagen. I support free speech, and the freedom to choose a religion, or to choose none. I don’t support stupidity, or people who attack other people’s beliefs. If she wants to believe in some god or another fine. I’ll leave you alone, but don’t force your beliefs on others. How would you like it if I told you you couldn’t believe in a god?

  134. #134 James Sweet
    February 22, 2010

    She seems to have confused us godless atheistic materialist evilutionists for a bunch of New Age wackaloons.

    Just the classic ravings of a paranoid: Everyone who is against me must be colluding. Obviously.

  135. #135 broboxley
    February 22, 2010

    one can learn from anything for example after reading that I now know the background of why I call people like that Nimrods

  136. #136 KOPD42
    February 22, 2010

    the angel “Metatron”

    Sounds like something from the Trasnformers movies.

  137. #137 badgersdaughter
    February 22, 2010

    Sounds like something from the Trasnformers movies.

    Does, rather, doesn’t it. If you’re interested, this:

    http://lightgridmasters.blogspot.com/2009/02/earth-keeper-chronicles-cosmic-trigger.html

    is the bullshit my friends are all up in at the moment. I e-mailed one of my friends and told her that, for an angel, Metatron sure had some damn funny notions about physics, chemistry, geology, and mathematics. She responded, “If that’s what’s true in your reality.”

    Errrgh.

  138. #138 KOPD42
    February 22, 2010

    badgersdaughter,
    I checked that link. Interesting stuff.

    Lake Titicaca – where I will be on the equinox – will be a binding and distribution point for newly releasing galactic codes to enter the planetary matrix.

    It looks like English, yet I don’t understand it at all. May as well have been written by Chef Brian.

  139. #139 ConcernedJoe
    February 22, 2010

    This may seem OT but #95 made me think about something I’ve been meaning to say (not that I will be original).

    This whole notion that “survival of the fittest” is equal to “the strongest meanest badest bad-ass wins” in evolutionary sense is so wrong.

    And if Capitalism (or any -ism) models itself on that erroneous premise it is doomed to fail ultimately.

    Evolution means populations KEEP adapting and passing along their genes. And often population survival is a balance of “fitness” among predators/parasites and prey/hosts.

    This concept is evident in the “natural” world and evident in social systems too.

    Survival of the fittest does not mean destruction of the “weaker” in a colloquial sense.

    If a virus kills off all their hosts before those hosts can provide more hosts they are in trouble.

    If Capitalism hoses employees so much that overall economic equilibrium is shifted and buying power diminished what good is production.

    Fitness maintaining the path forward – not creating our own glorious cul de sac.

    But more to the point: I think some of the popular (normal people) resistance to Evolution is not so much the monkeys-to-man problem but rather the brutality they associate with “survival of the fittest” – to many the ToE seems so Hitler-like.

    The fact that the ToE is much more about an ecology then it is the brutal lion gazelle encounter or the dominate wolf taking the prime cut of elk.

  140. #140 a_ray_in_dilbert_space
    February 22, 2010

    How wonderful for her that everyone she hates is all part of the same scientific-materialist-new age-Nazi-Communist-atheist-pagan-Buddhist-Islamic… conspiracy.

    Man, How does she keep track of all the crazy inside that head of hers?

  141. #141 Pierce R. Butler
    February 22, 2010

    Even in terms of Babble, Kimball fails.

    Amraphel is mentioned twice in the Bobble (Genesis 14:1 & 14:9). He was the king of Shinar, and a member of the coalition which made war on Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah, Zeboiim, and Bela aka Zoar.

    (And if you’ve ever stayed up late at night trying to re-create what they did in Gomorrah, just wait till you try Zeboiimy!)

    Old Nimmy (grandson of Ham Noahson) gets a little more mention, but just for hunting prowess & general-purpose “might”. He didn’t do any begetting on the record, but by tracking the genealogies of his more fecund nephews, I come up with about 225 years between N’s period and the birth of Amraphel’s contemporary Abram.

    All of which, alas, “proves” absolutely nothing, as Abe’s ancestors are mostly reported to have lived for two to four centuries. So maybe Nimbo lasted that long too, and just changed his name when he gave up all of his kingdom except Shinar.

    (Reading the R. Crumb illustrated edition of Genesis hath wrought some major brain havoc upon me and the land in which I dwell. Time to go back to the great exegetor of all things Nimrodian, Prof. B. Bunny.)

  142. #142 Kevin
    February 22, 2010

    This kind of reminds me of that epic super-post that was in one of your endless topics here… the one that was just a whole lot of random conspiracy and metaphysical stuff…

  143. #143 coughlanbrianm
    February 22, 2010

    @Walton

    Humanity is depressing.

    Yep. Yep it is. We’re pretty alright though. Especially me; because I’m not an evil, disingenous libertarian.

    Which is to say : Stop being so damn human! And thoughtful! And stuff! You’re throwing my prejudice out of alignment!!!

  144. #144 Gregory Greenwood
    February 22, 2010

    So…according to the crazy lady*, evolutionary theory is a religion despite the fact that it does not possess any of the usual attributes of a religion:-

    1) It is not based on any irrational woo (woo, of course, comes primarily in two flavours; aniseed antideluvian or fresh-and-minty New Age – both equally useless).

    2) It has not been constructed as a means of control of the gullible.

    3)It is no oppiate of the stupi… err, masses.

    4)It is not a means to con the vulnerable out of money.

    5)It is not a licence to pry into the private affairs of others.

    6)It is not a fig leaf for bigotry.

    While this list is far from exhaustive, I think the point is made. No person of sense or reason could mistake evolutionary theory for a religion. Which neatly explains how Kimball came to her…eccentric conclusion.

    Lets not even start trying to untangle the morass of pseudo logic that links environmentalism, ‘materialist-secularism’, pantheism, socialism and satanism (!?) in her clearly unbalanced mind. That way lies madness. And Lizard People conspiracy theories**.

    *As PZ says; back away slowly, no sudden moves.

    ** Oh yes, don’t think I am not onto you, Zeno! You say you were sun-bathing, but I know you were raising your body temperature before you went off to eat some poor innocent. I have watched ‘V’ you know!

  145. #145 ConcernedJoe
    February 22, 2010

    Gregory #144

    I think your statement of the attributes of religion show your (and MY) disdain more than defining attributes of religion.

    I think Kimball and I unwittingly share what the defining attributes of religion are:

    1. defining dogma and doctrine
    2. an emphasis on faith over reason and evidence
    3. organization 1 and 2 to promote and in someway enforce 1 and 2 (and as a consequence reward in some way the faithful as a bonus)

    So to me Communism (e.g. Stalinism) was as much religion as Catholicism. The supernatural are not the only form of woo and woo leaders are woo leaders.

    She and the “Expelled-minded” people have these attributes (my stated 1, 2, 3) in mind.

    And then they delusionally and/or stupidly and/or ignorantly equate:
    * ToE to 1,
    * our avid and vociferous defense of our 1 to 2,
    * our scientific institutions and groups to 3

    It all fits logically in their minds. And they would be right IF their perception of 1 was.

    We know that the ToE, while it looks somewhat doctrinal given all the supporting evidence and publication around that evidence, is not dogmatic and thus attribute 2 fails and thus attribute 3 fails.

    But to the Kimballs that equate ToE to 1 (probably because the ToE appears now to be doctrinal) it all fits. And to boot to them we have people that equate to cult leaders – people like PZ and Dawkins.

    They cannot see alternatives to dogma; anything “believed to be true” to them has to stem from revelation – there is no other method to get to a belief in many of their minds.

  146. #146 Guy Incognito
    February 22, 2010

    Evolution is obviously a fiendish plot to do away with the meal of dinner! We’re through the looking glass here, people!!!

  147. #147 PeteJohn
    February 22, 2010

    This lunacy reminds me a bit of Hovind’s doctoral ahem, disseration. He argued that the Theory of Evolution was a gift given at creation to the people of earth by the Prince of Hell himself, Satan… or some such madness.

    Is this some kind of projection? These religious zealots “believe” there is a god and Goddidit and is definately their God. Therefore, someone who would disagree with that assessment clearly must just “believe” something else. That belief goes hand in hand with all sorts of wacky leftism, as if it was impossible to understand and accept evolution and also be a libertarian, anarchist, registered-Republican, NRA member or whatever else. This is why there is no church of evolution or atheism or whatever, because neither require any sort of behavior. You merely have to have read about it, comprehended the argument, and accepted it on its own merits. Nothing else is required. And yet…

    So is it projection? Or is it outright lunacy? Or is it both?

  148. #148 Gregory Greenwood
    February 22, 2010

    ConcernedJoe @ 145;

    I take your point. While my post was intended to be humourous (I must hold my hands up to a humour-fail on this one), I would still contend that my list reflects more than our subjective disdain. I like to think it has just enough truth buried in it to sting.

    That said, I think it clear that your unholy trinity of defining attributes of religion makes far more sense and is a superior reflection of what might be going on inside the craniums of these people.

    I think you are right when you say that they cannot see alternatives to dogma. The very idea of honest intellectual enquiry is alien to them. For such individuals, there is the ‘revealed truth’, which forms the shaky bed-sponge on which they base their lives, and then there is the mealy mouthed, pseudo-intellectual apologetics engaged in to defend the above ‘truth’ from criticism and alternative (in other words, sane) viewpoints. This is the extent of their narrow mental universe; a dark place where evidence and reason have little meaning, whereas arrogant assertion and the gleeful expectation of the promised (probably pay-per-view) post-mortem suffering of the infidel are all important.

  149. #149 Qwerty
    February 22, 2010

    If you have a stomach for it, here’s another of her diatribes on the evils of evolution and Darwinism. Her thinking boggles my mind.

    http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/kimball/090816

  150. #150 Glen Davidson
    February 22, 2010

    It’s interesting, Qwerty, to see that in your link Linda whines about wheat being invariant. When of course it is well known to have changed significantly from its ancestors via hybridization:

    Within the Triticeae tribe, the grass genus Triticum includes diploid, tetraploid, and hexaploid species. Bread wheat (Triticum aestivum; 2n = 42, AABBDD) is allohexaploid and carries three different subgenomes, A, B, and D.

    There are two different A genomes in the wheat species: the Au genome in Triticum urartu and the closely related Am genome in Triticum monococcum (Dvorak et al., 1988). Modern hexaploid wheat resulted from two independent hybridization events. The first combined the Au genome of the wild diploid wheat T. urartu and the B genome of an unknown species (Feldman et al., 1995; Huang et al., 2002a). This resulted in the tetraploid ancestor of modern Triticum species, Triticum turgidum. The cultivated T. turgidum subsp durum is derived from this tetraploid ancestor. T. turgidum and the diploid donor of the D genome (Aegilops tauschii) hybridized ~8000 years ago, resulting in hexaploid wheat (Feldman et al., 1995).

    But then again, wheat didn’t evolve into a cat, which “disproves,” well, creationism, as most of their idiotic “examples” do.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p

  151. #151 broboxley
    February 22, 2010

    breeding for advantage has been known to the lesser branch of biology farming, long before darwin. Too bad a lot of these folks have no freakin idea on how that food gets into the plastic wrapper in the organic food market

  152. #152 chicagomolly.myopenid.com
    February 22, 2010

    Met him pike hoses???

    You mean the Tighty Righties are reading James Joyce now?!?!

    Then we are truly nearing the End Times.

  153. #153 David Brooks
    February 22, 2010

    Linda Kimball’s piece is gibberish. I saw it on Free Republic and none of the rational folk (yes that forum has plenty) were on that thread so I stayed away–it reminded me of dog vomit, a half-digested mess of somewhat recognizable chunks but disgusting to handle. From the article:

    What’s more, it is Christianity and not naturalism that is the mother of modern science.

    In an article titled “On Science and Culture” in Encounter, Oct. 1962, J. Robert Oppenheimer, director of Advanced Study at Princeton (1947) stressed that modern science was born out of the Christian worldview. (How Should We Then Live? Francis A. Schaeffer, p. 132)

    Interested, I used teh Google to try and track down what Oppenheimer really said. I found that a bunch of articles with almost the same citation of Schaeffer, almost word for word. It seems that this is a stock quote for the Christian anti-science crowd. Shaeffer is of course a Christian apologist, (of the sort that says “Darwin = Hitler”) and without the original article we have no idea how much spin Schaeffer is putting on Oppenheimer’s own thoughts. For a reference that gets so much play one might think that some pious soul would track down and post-up Oppenheimer’s original article. One might think that for such an important point Kimball would actually search out and read what Oppenheimer really said but in Creationist circles citing each other rather than primary sources (even if the primary source is a popular magazine article) is the way to go.

    For what it’s worth, I did find an article by Oppenheimer (in The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists) where he does credit Christian sensibilities as in influence in the development of modern science, along with Greek stoicism.

    Of course Christianity did not beget modern science, Christian theology and science both evolved over many centuries together, both deeply influenced by the rediscovery of the writings of the ancient classical philosophers. The rediscovery (in part from Arab sources) made necessary by the early Roman Empire Christian suppression of those pagan writings, by the burning of libraries, by the killing of the philosophers (the early scientists) and the shutting down of their schools.

    One wonders where we would be today if science and literacy (and trade, and hygiene, and the governance of the empire)of the late empire period had not been dominated by the Roman church’s anti-reason, anti-nature, and intolerant policies.

  154. #154 Rincewind'smuse
    February 22, 2010

    @78

    I’m… astounded. Her output is very much like my mother’s when she’s not taking her medication. My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur.

    Yeah, it’s suggestive, the pressured,compressed salad of details not clearly tied together by a unified theme, the tangential flow of ideas that never seems to come back around to a point that ties it all together.I’ve seen this before and usually not in functional people.

  155. #155 ConcernedJoe
    February 23, 2010

    Gregory #148

    “.. arrogant assertion and the gleeful expectation of the promised (probably pay-per-view) post-mortem suffering of the infidel are all important.”

    Really sad but true for about 30% – and how does one break through that? Doubt we can as you imply. We can only protect against the damage they can cause – damage to individuals and institutions and progress and peace (both inner and outer).

    That is why we have to participate in electoral processes, plus vote and get out the vote – even at local levels – and why we have to protect and enhance secular education.

    End of rant — you all have a nice day.

  156. #156 Knockgoats
    February 23, 2010

    Ah, to live in the 13th century when you could burn heretics at the stake and die of the bubonic plague. – dae

    You’d have a much better chance of the latter in the 14th century (i.e., the 1300s), assuming the Black Death really was bubonic plague, which it may well not have been Epidemiology of the Black Death and Successive Waves of Plague.

    [/history pedant]

  157. #157 Knockgoats
    February 23, 2010

    KOPD42@142, badgersdaughter@143

    Metatron also crops up in Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials fantasy trilogy; he’s the numero uno baddie, regent for “The Ancient of Days”, who has declined into senility.

  158. #158 Knockgoats
    February 23, 2010

    Sorry, 142 and 143 should be 136 and 137, @157.

    So to me Communism (e.g. Stalinism) was as much religion as Catholicism. – ConcernedJoe

    No, it’s not a religion, although it has some religious features. It’s a political ideology. You can’t go redefining words to suit yourself, and this “Communism/Nazism/etc. is a religion” stuff is just as wrong as “Atheism/Darwinism is a religion”. We can’t reasonably complain about the religious doing this kind of thing if we do it too.

  159. #159 Pierce R. Butler
    February 23, 2010

    Knockgoats @ # 158 – It all depends on your definition of “religion”, which clearly has even more multiple meanings than does, say, “theory”.

    Consider the etymology: the Latin religare, “to bind” (as retained in words like “ligament”).

    If an ideology, or a hobby, or a tribalism, provides enough social glue to exceed the limits of rationality, why not call it a religion?

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