Pharyngula

Saturday Night Penis Fencing

It’s the sport that ought to replace pro wrestling, and boxing.

Comments

  1. #1 llewelly
    February 27, 2010

    In humans, pro wrestling and boxing replace penis fencing because human penes are much less impressive, relative to our total body mass.

  2. #2 NewEnglandBob
    February 27, 2010

    I heard of a guy who got his penis caught on a fence…

  3. #3 Rorschach
    February 27, 2010

    It’s the sport that ought to replace pro wrestling, and boxing.

    Pro-wrestling is a sport now ?

  4. #4 SC OM
    February 27, 2010

    Is that Peter Coyote?

    ***

    Stunning colors.

  5. #5 Glen Davidson
    February 27, 2010

    Is cock fighting really legal?

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p

  6. #6 6-bleen-7
    February 27, 2010

    “Australian Dick Wrestling” is one of the sports George Carlin listed as being on ESPN.

  7. #7 Ragutis
    February 27, 2010

    When I hear John Forsythe, the sexual contest that usually comes to mind involves Cheryll Ladd and Kate Jackson. While this was interesting*, I hope it hasn’t ruined that imagery for me for good. I might incorporate the struggle for penetration bit though. A little futanari never hurt anyone.

    *few (laypeople) see “motherhood” as an expenditure of extra resources. I mean, I guess it’s right in front of our faces our whole lives, but put starkly in those terms kind of smacks you. The first time it really made an impact on me was seeing a doc on octopus way back (Jacques Cousteau, probably) and how the mother expends all her energy producing and then guarding and grooming the eggs until birth. Then she typically dies of starvation or quickly succumbs to predation, too weak to escape or defend herself. IIRC, some even eat some of their arms to survive until the larvae hatch.

  8. #8 Zeno
    February 27, 2010

    Sorry. Just not a sports fan.

    Even so, I can’t help wondering if it would create a flap if I asked whether foreskins are permitted.

  9. #9 onethird-man
    February 27, 2010

    Even so, I can’t help wondering if it would create a flap if I asked whether foreskins are permitted

    Um… the flap would actually be removed if they weren’t.

  10. #10 Antiochus Epiphanes
    February 27, 2010

    What a coincidence. That’s what I was doing.

  11. #11 foeclan
    February 27, 2010

    Sounds like a fun evening.

  12. #12 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    February 27, 2010

    Oh, dear. How can something so nasty be so hawt? Who knew flat worms liked it rough. . .

  13. #13 tehmeeplet
    February 27, 2010

    Oh man, I’ve never seen this in a non-bonobo critter before!

  14. #14 jcmartz.myopenid.com
    February 28, 2010

    It’s the sport that ought to replace pro wrestling, and boxing.

    But is it better?

  15. #15 F
    February 28, 2010

    Beggin’ your pardon as I have no sound at the moment, but what sort of Platyhelminthes are these? And please tell me they are Turbellarians.

  16. #16 Brian
    February 28, 2010

    I’m coming to really appreciate these little videos. As sad as my romantic history has been, they remind me that, as a human, I’ve really got it easy.

  17. #17 mindbleach
    February 28, 2010

    Human males would hesitate to do this, but with some strap-ons and a bit of alcohol, this could be adapted into a great after-hours lab sport. Are any biologists with free time willing to become the first bookie for peg fighting?

  18. #18 Ferris
    February 28, 2010

    The loser gets impregnated, lol. I’ll have to remember this the next time some girl brings up peacocks or seahorses or something.

  19. #19 F
    February 28, 2010

    mindbleach

    This was a bit of a pastime for the dramatically-inclined in certain periods of Ancient Greece. But they used wheelbarrow-like devices to cart their phalli for this purpose.

    Alcohol may help.

  20. #20 and7barton
    February 28, 2010

    Been there, tried that…. behind my dad’s shed around 50 years ago. Fortunately it neither caught on, nor caught on the fence. It’s much over-rated.

  21. #21 MadScientist
    February 28, 2010

    No harm in a little platyhelminthes envy.

    [ot] The earthquake in Chile: pact with the devil, curse of teh gayz, or just more evidence that there is no god.

  22. #22 F
    February 28, 2010

    I think penis fencing is probably evidence there is no god, at least of the J/C/I sort.

    I wonder what the most common type of penis fencing is; chain link, picket, or what.

  23. #23 RijkswaanVijanD
    February 28, 2010

    Don’t them damned porn actors know about the dangers of not having safe sex?!
    Oh they’re all frequently tested right?

  24. #24 David Marjanovi?
    February 28, 2010

    Is cock fighting really legal?

    :-D :-D :-D

    I might incorporate the struggle for penetration bit though. A little futanari never hurt anyone.

    List of Japanese Words Not to Google…

  25. #25 RamblinDude
    February 28, 2010

    Penis fencing on ESPN–and the loser gets impregnated?

    Somehow I think this would get HUGE ratings.

  26. #26 Evolving Squid
    February 28, 2010

    Pro Wrestling is homoerotica for men who want to feel that they’re manly while secretly enjoying that strange feeling they get when they watch some oiled up juice-monkeys in speedos playing grabass.

    That’s why they had to add women to it… the secret was getting out of the closet, I think, so women were added to make it appear less obviously “queer sport for the straight guy”.

    I’m surprised they don’t sell closets during matches.

  27. #27 onethird-man
    February 28, 2010

    @#26 Evolving Squid
    Yeah, if it was not very homoerotic there would not be all of this backstory and such. It’s kind of, to me, like modern opera. Only with folding chairs.

  28. #28 Sili
    February 28, 2010

    Brave of you to post that, PeeZed.

    Do you really think we’ve all forgotten that you challenged Hehmant Metha to just such a duel?

    Amusing to have the Rite of Spring running on the radio in the background for this.

  29. #29 Lyr
    February 28, 2010

    Penis fencing? I’d pay to see it. :)

  30. #30 God
    February 28, 2010

    I created those worms to remind you how disgusting it is for a woman to be uppity. Having a woman resist her father’s or husband’s will is as unnatural as making a man pregnant.

  31. #31 Rey Fox
    February 28, 2010

    Saturday night’s all right for penis fencing, Saturday night’s all right all right.

  32. #32 aratina cage of the OM
    February 28, 2010

    Penis fencing is an 80s pastime:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S25Zf8svHZQ

    I’d be happy to see it make a comeback. May the Schwartz be with you!

  33. #33 SaintStephen
    February 28, 2010

    Serious question for evolutionary biologists:

    Did sex evolve from fighting?

    Seems highly logical to me, at this point. And I’m not being flippant (for once).

  34. #34 see _the_swells
    March 1, 2010

    Well fancy that, sperm absorbed through the skin. One can never be careful, might have to get out my full body condom next time I engage in such behaviour.