Saturday Night Penis Fencing

It's the sport that ought to replace pro wrestling, and boxing.

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In humans, pro wrestling and boxing replace penis fencing because human penes are much less impressive, relative to our total body mass.

I heard of a guy who got his penis caught on a fence...

By NewEnglandBob (not verified) on 27 Feb 2010 #permalink

It's the sport that ought to replace pro wrestling, and boxing.

Pro-wrestling is a sport now ?

By Rorschach (not verified) on 27 Feb 2010 #permalink

Is that Peter Coyote?

***

Stunning colors.

"Australian Dick Wrestling" is one of the sports George Carlin listed as being on ESPN.

By 6-bleen-7 (not verified) on 27 Feb 2010 #permalink

When I hear John Forsythe, the sexual contest that usually comes to mind involves Cheryll Ladd and Kate Jackson. While this was interesting*, I hope it hasn't ruined that imagery for me for good. I might incorporate the struggle for penetration bit though. A little futanari never hurt anyone.

*few (laypeople) see "motherhood" as an expenditure of extra resources. I mean, I guess it's right in front of our faces our whole lives, but put starkly in those terms kind of smacks you. The first time it really made an impact on me was seeing a doc on octopus way back (Jacques Cousteau, probably) and how the mother expends all her energy producing and then guarding and grooming the eggs until birth. Then she typically dies of starvation or quickly succumbs to predation, too weak to escape or defend herself. IIRC, some even eat some of their arms to survive until the larvae hatch.

Sorry. Just not a sports fan.

Even so, I can't help wondering if it would create a flap if I asked whether foreskins are permitted.

Even so, I can't help wondering if it would create a flap if I asked whether foreskins are permitted

Um... the flap would actually be removed if they weren't.

By onethird-man (not verified) on 27 Feb 2010 #permalink

What a coincidence. That's what I was doing.

By Antiochus Epiphanes (not verified) on 27 Feb 2010 #permalink

Sounds like a fun evening.

Oh, dear. How can something so nasty be so hawt? Who knew flat worms liked it rough. . .

By Josh, Official… (not verified) on 27 Feb 2010 #permalink

Oh man, I've never seen this in a non-bonobo critter before!

By tehmeeplet (not verified) on 27 Feb 2010 #permalink

It's the sport that ought to replace pro wrestling, and boxing.

But is it better?

By jcmartz.myopenid.com (not verified) on 27 Feb 2010 #permalink

Beggin' your pardon as I have no sound at the moment, but what sort of Platyhelminthes are these? And please tell me they are Turbellarians.

I'm coming to really appreciate these little videos. As sad as my romantic history has been, they remind me that, as a human, I've really got it easy.

Human males would hesitate to do this, but with some strap-ons and a bit of alcohol, this could be adapted into a great after-hours lab sport. Are any biologists with free time willing to become the first bookie for peg fighting?

By mindbleach (not verified) on 27 Feb 2010 #permalink

The loser gets impregnated, lol. I'll have to remember this the next time some girl brings up peacocks or seahorses or something.

mindbleach

This was a bit of a pastime for the dramatically-inclined in certain periods of Ancient Greece. But they used wheelbarrow-like devices to cart their phalli for this purpose.

Alcohol may help.

Been there, tried that.... behind my dad's shed around 50 years ago. Fortunately it neither caught on, nor caught on the fence. It's much over-rated.

By and7barton (not verified) on 27 Feb 2010 #permalink

No harm in a little platyhelminthes envy.

[ot] The earthquake in Chile: pact with the devil, curse of teh gayz, or just more evidence that there is no god.

By MadScientist (not verified) on 27 Feb 2010 #permalink

I think penis fencing is probably evidence there is no god, at least of the J/C/I sort.

I wonder what the most common type of penis fencing is; chain link, picket, or what.

Don't them damned porn actors know about the dangers of not having safe sex?!
Oh they're all frequently tested right?

By RijkswaanVijanD (not verified) on 28 Feb 2010 #permalink

Is cock fighting really legal?

:-D :-D :-D

I might incorporate the struggle for penetration bit though. A little futanari never hurt anyone.

List of Japanese Words Not to Google...

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 28 Feb 2010 #permalink

Penis fencing on ESPN--and the loser gets impregnated?

Somehow I think this would get HUGE ratings.

By RamblinDude (not verified) on 28 Feb 2010 #permalink

Pro Wrestling is homoerotica for men who want to feel that they're manly while secretly enjoying that strange feeling they get when they watch some oiled up juice-monkeys in speedos playing grabass.

That's why they had to add women to it... the secret was getting out of the closet, I think, so women were added to make it appear less obviously "queer sport for the straight guy".

I'm surprised they don't sell closets during matches.

By Evolving Squid (not verified) on 28 Feb 2010 #permalink

@#26 Evolving Squid
Yeah, if it was not very homoerotic there would not be all of this backstory and such. It's kind of, to me, like modern opera. Only with folding chairs.

By onethird-man (not verified) on 28 Feb 2010 #permalink

Brave of you to post that, PeeZed.

Do you really think we've all forgotten that you challenged Hehmant Metha to just such a duel?

Amusing to have the Rite of Spring running on the radio in the background for this.

Penis fencing? I'd pay to see it. :)

I created those worms to remind you how disgusting it is for a woman to be uppity. Having a woman resist her father's or husband's will is as unnatural as making a man pregnant.

Saturday night's all right for penis fencing, Saturday night's all right all right.

Serious question for evolutionary biologists:

Did sex evolve from fighting?

Seems highly logical to me, at this point. And I'm not being flippant (for once).

By SaintStephen (not verified) on 28 Feb 2010 #permalink

Well fancy that, sperm absorbed through the skin. One can never be careful, might have to get out my full body condom next time I engage in such behaviour.

By see _the_swells (not verified) on 28 Feb 2010 #permalink