The biggest, gayest brothel in the world

Back when we bought our house, one of the things that we liked about it is that it's a somewhat quirky place, with an odd layout and a few old 50s touches. One thing I didn't care for is the decor of the upstairs; it's got this vivid scarlet carpeting everywhere, and one of the bedrooms was (it's been repainted now) wallpapered with bright green shamrocks. I joked that we could open a brothel for leprechauns up there if we wanted to make a little extra money.

You know, if I'd been moving into the Vatican, instead, I'd probably have made a similar joke — all that garish, gaudy excess and all the men wondering around in flamboyant dress would have probably moved me to joke that we could open a brothel for gay priests here.

What do you know, it's true. There is a gay prostitution scandal in the Vatican right now. I am in awe. On top of the child abuse scandals in Ireland and Germany, this is just icing on top of a rotten, wormy, corrupt cake.

And this afternoon, I'm going to have to sweep the upstairs bedroom for any sneaky leprechauns.

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Is anyone actually surprised by this? Really?

By n1l0c2501 (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

I suppose this shouldn't be all that surprising. Bunch of men who aren't allowed to marry all in their own little world. Has to be a fairly high proportion of men who go into the priesthood initially because they don't like men anyway, and amazingly turn out to be gay. And scripture isn't enough to hold them from their homosexual thoughts?!

Still, good news, one further step down the rabbit hole for the Vatican! I love it.

"Angelo Balducci, a Gentleman of His Holiness, was caught by police on a wiretap..."

Gentleman of His Holiness? Isn't that code for the Pope's penis?

BTW, tell me the photo at the top of the Guardian article (PZ's first link , "it's true") wasn't chosen by someone with a keen sense of humour. It looks like the Papal Fellatio Conga Line.

By Stephen Wells (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Is anyone actually surprised by this? Really?

Actually yes, I'm shocked

I would have thought PZ could afford a couple of gallons of emulsion to cover that horrible sounding wallpaper.

By jameslawrence01 (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

I should have read that properly- sorry PZ for doubting your DIY skillz.

By jameslawrence01 (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Three pillars support the catholic church: rum, sodomy, and the lash.

By philzombi (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Well, one of their most holy rites is to have the flesh of a man placed on their tongue by an older man. They even call it a miracle and get all sorts of pissed off when young men spit instead of swallow. They have a conniption fit if a woman tries to do that. Because apparently, having a woman put the flesh of a man into their mouths isn't gay enough.
Noah's ark

In January this year, the Carabinieri recorded an exchange in which Balducci and Ehiem discuss a seminarian, or student for the priesthood. Balducci is said to have asked: "Listen, have you spoken with the seminarian by any chance?"

I'll let the double-entendre speak for itself.

By Multicellular (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

You can add the Netherlands in the sad list of child abuse scandals by the roman catholic church. The story started to develop last week and seems like it was not incidental abuse by a single person.

By Dutch Courage (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Big Gay Al's Big Gay Vatican Sanctuary.

Sweet.

One thing I didn't care for is the decor of the upstairs; it's got this vivid scarlet carpeting everywhere, and one of the bedrooms was (it's been repainted now) wallpapered with bright green shamrocks.

My inner designer is screaming.

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

And to shift the focus and try to blame the gays for everything...married people no longer get health insurance!

By MAJeff, OM (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

What stands out to me in that article is that Balducci was both a member of the Pope's household bureaucracy and a member of the Italian government. So what we have here is 1) an Italian official with a history of corruption who 2) works for the Vatican, where he was first employed, at the same time. How can the Italian government claim to be wholly separate from the Vatican when it is not only appointing Vatican officials to positions of public governance, but retaining them there despite arrests for corruption?

By macbethjn (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

This prejudice against prostitution rings is the last acceptable bigotry.

By hyperdeath (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

harmer | March 5, 2010 8:42 AM:

Has to be a fairly high proportion of men who go into the priesthood initially because they don't like men anyway, and amazingly turn out to be gay.

Er, wait, what?

Has to be a fairly high proportion of men who go into the priesthood initially because they don't like men anyway, and amazingly turn out to be gay.

hababhbahabhabha

uh

WHAT?

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

I am shocked—shocked—to learn that sodomy is going on in this establishment!

Just as I am stunned to learn that my parents' right-wing family-values Republican state senator hangs out at gay bars in Sacramento. (I'm pretty certain that dear old Dad will not want to talk about this at the family's Easter dinner.)

The Catholic Church has always been hypocritical about sex. On the one hand they think it's the nastiest, most evil thing on the Earth (Augustine claimed that even sex for procreation was sinful). On the other hand the church actively supported and protected priestly pedophiles.

That an unofficially sanctioned gay prostitute ring operated out of the Vatican doesn't surprise me in the least. True to form, the church's reaction is dismay over the PR issues, with the idea anyone had done anything immoral being a far distant second.

By 'Tis Himself, OM (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

But one has to clear about what the scandal here is. Male prostitution? No. I just won't accept that it is a scandal that some guy had sex with some other guy, even if money was involved. I am perfectly okay with that. Don't even raise an eyebrow. The scandal is the hypocrisy surrounding it - the catholic bigotry and battle against other people's sexual behavior, preferences and interests relative to their own indulgences. This one is a hypocrisy scandal, not a sex scandal. The child abuse ones are, of course, very different.

Lol @ the picture the Guardian used of the pope looking creepy at the end of a line of clergymen...

Please stop using the words "gay" and "homosexual" in reference to popes, priests, and other catholics.

I'm gay, and such references sicken me.

Also: stop calling $%#@**ing and %*&$@#ing "sodomy." Just call them $%#@**ing and %*&$@#ing.

Beside, we do not reside in Sodom.

By mikeinmaine (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

"Gentlemen of His Holiness" -- the best name ever for a Catholic gay strip club.

I often wonder about design like that-- I've got a TINY half-bath with textured gold wallpaper, something like thick raised velvet over a shiny background. It's amazingly tacky, like casino design afterbirth. Following a toilet leak, I removed the bright blue shag carpet to reveal a gold-flecked, yellow linoleum underneath.

...And to tie it back into the article, we've always joked that it looks like a miniature Vatican. If it wouldn't be a terrifically creepy place to do one's business, I would SO top it off with dozens of little framed pictures of nuns.

By startlingmoniker (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Lol @ the picture the Guardian used of the pope looking creepy at the end of a line of clergymen...

Why does that remind me of the scene in History of the World Part 1 with Madeline Kahn choosing her escorts for the orgy.

"Yes, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, no, no, yes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, ...."

The Pope is now working up plans for an all-castrati choir.

By CalGeorge (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Also: stop calling $%#@**ing and %*&$@#ing "sodomy." Just call them $%#@**ing and %*&$@#ing.

Beside, we do not reside in Sodom.

you can use the dirty words in all their glory here.

fuck fuck fuckity fuck assfuck

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Women, whoops, bit of a type or freudian slip.

G.D. | March 5, 2010 9:40 AM:

The scandal is the hypocrisy surrounding it - the catholic bigotry and battle against other people's sexual behavior, preferences and interests relative to their own indulgences. This one is a hypocrisy scandal, not a sex scandal. The child abuse ones are, of course, very different.

If you read the linked articles, you will see there's another scandal beyond the hypocrisy. They're taking advantage of undocumented immigrants.

Incidental note: biblically, the crime of Sodom is, according to Ezekiel 16.49, this: "Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy".

So describing the Vatican as a nest of Sodomites would be only appropriate.

By Stephen Wells (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

"all the men wondering around in flamboyant dress "

I think you meant "wander"

Or maybe not. Paging Mrs. Malaprop.

By CitizenJoe (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Is this what they call a seminal moment?

By Moveable Type (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Is this what they call a seminal moment?

that was painful

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

man.. don't say anything about wormy cake again. i like cake. ugh.

Photo of the Papal Choir via Google. (Sorry, won't load.)
Caption supplied by a seminarian visiting the midnight christmas mass ...

"The Papal Choir - a.k.a. the Sistine Screamers, because they have 10 year old boys with very high voices"

Well, the pope isn't producing many castrati anymore.

By abutsimehc (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Please also consider to sign this petition to remove the 10 year expiration of sexual abuse crimes in German civil law. Most of the uncovered case are from the 60s and 70s, so the criminals cannot be prosecuted anymore unless this expiration time is removed!

http://norbert.denef.com/petition/?l=en

By https://www.go… (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

The real question is if they were trying to get male prostitutes for sex or to find out about the business model. I mean they have access to a lot of lonely males and those child abuse lawsuits aren't going to pay for themselves.

By uselesstwit (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Headline from UK Paper:

Vatican chorister and usher in gay prostitution scandal
One of Pope Benedict's ceremonial ushers and a member of an elite choir in St Peter's Basilica have been implicated in a gay prostitution ring, in the latest sexual scandal to taint the Vatican.

Sneaky, cheeky head line writer WIN!

Ah! Rev.BigDumbChimp but ve haf der lubrication nicht var?

By Moveable Type (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Any word from Bill Donohue yet?

About the scandal OR this thread?

By abutsimehc (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

There really is not much use for women in the Vatican City, is there. Well, except as outsourced breeders to keep the population up.

By Janine, Mistre… (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Also: stop calling $%#@**ing and %*&$@#ing "sodomy."

It serves the Church right to have its own language tossed back in its face. The dress-wearing priests call it sodomy and now their skirts are being hoisted by their own petard.

There really is not much use for women in the Vatican City, is there. Well, except as outsourced breeders to keep the population up.

I wouldn't say that!

And it seems to be happening everywhere.

I can't wait for my religion teachers spin on this one!

Look; I'm performing exegesis:

Balducci is also a member of an elite group called "Gentlemen of His Holiness" – ushers who are called to serve in the Vatican's Apostolic Palace on major occasions such as when the pope receives heads of state or presides at big events

Can I get a head pat from Mooney?

By Brownian, OM (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Noah's ark

Link doesn't work.

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Gee, now we know who come religious leaders talk so confidently about how gay men are child molesters. Yes, if your experience of homosexuals was limited to the Catholic church you too would think all gay men are child molesters.

Who would’a guessed? And that pope fellah could’ve avoided this incident

The Pope woke up early one morning with a huge erection. Thinking that it wasn't very Catholic, he tried to get rid of it. Unfortunately, walking around the room, thinking about the Bible and even getting some fresh air on the balcony all failed to soften him up. With only one option left, he sat down on the balcony and did what needed to be done.

Later, he was walking around Rome when a man with a camera approached him. "Hello, Mr Pope," the man said. "Six o'clock this morning, on the balcony, I think you know what I'm talking about."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean," the Pope replied.

"Oh, I think you do," the man retorted, "and 50 thousand will buy you the camera."

Worried and confused, the Pope paid up and took the camera.

Back in the Vatican, one of the Pope's aides asked about the camera. "A chap in town sold it to me for 50 thousand," the Pope explained.

"50 thousand?!" exclaimed the aide. "Wow, he must have seen you coming."

…and saved himself a lot of embarrassment.

By vanharris (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Not going well for the bigots worldwide, is it ?

How pleasant to see the RCC self-destruct a little bit more with every abused child....

By Rorschach (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

It serves the Church right to have its own language tossed back in its face. The dress-wearing priests call it sodomy and now their skirts are being hoisted by their own petard.

vat·i·can·y

noun
1. copulation with a member of the same or opposite sex, when practiced in secret in an organised fashion by professed religious celibates or monogamists with someone other than their lawful spouse
2. the practice of disguising or concealing the existence of a prostitution ring for the use of professed religious celibates or monogamists
3. lateral or vertical promotion of a member of the clergy known for having sex with children or minors for the purpose of preventing investigation or exposure
4. the only kind of sex religious conservatives seem to have

Examples:

"In the news this week: a former member of the evangelical Christian organization the Fellowship Foundation alleges that C Street Center, at the centre of the sex scandals of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and Senator John Ensign, is known among well-connected evangelicals as a place to engage in vaticany."

"My director, who was infamous for inappropriate behaviour toward his female employees, was moved to an out-of-state branch office to prevent harassment lawsuits in an egregious act of vaticany by upper-level management."

By Brownian, OM (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

How can any catholic who knows anything about the official coverup and the preference abuser over victim -- how can one still believe? How can one not question? How can one still obey?
Sheeple indeed.

By fester60613 (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Oddly, enough, this doesn't bother me in the least. The male prostitutes, as far as I can tell from the article, were adults, which makes this pale before the child abuse scandals which, frankly, we've come to expect from the Catholic Church.
The accused was an usher. If he'd been a cardinal, or the pope himself, it'd be a story.

By NitricAcid (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Brownian- perhaps you ought to send that over to Dan Savage, a fellow with a few more readers than even PZ. He got "santorum" in the dictionary, he can probably get "vaticancy" in there, too.

By NitricAcid (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

That's a great idea, NitricAcid. On it.

By Brownian, OM (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Ooh it's the Hall of Hypoctire Homosexuals!

By QuarkyGideon (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

"Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy".
Neatly encapsulates the depravity of America's political and moneyed elite as represented by the Republicans, the Blue Dog Dems, the pundits at Fox News and right wing talk radio.

I laughed out loud when I saw the photo of a leering Pope standing in front of a line of Cardinals that accompanies that article. Nicely played, Guardian!

By stand.myopenid.com (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

There is a gay prostitution scandal in the Vatican right now

Well, bugger me.

Err, wait, no....

By timrowledge (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Hmm, in the article it says that Balducci's name would not appear in the Vatican's directory: "He obviously can't come back here after being accused of these things". Usually it seems these guys are willing to forgive the guilty among them, but now they're totally unwelcoming to the accused. What gives?
Oh, it must be because Balducci is involved in consensual sex rather than rape.

#56:

The accused was an usher. If he'd been a cardinal, or the pope himself, it'd be a story.

When you have someone in the Vatican procuring prostitutes for a "Gentlemen of His Holiness", you have to wonder who else he was pimping to. And the Guardian report mentions the following from a phone transcript:

He asks where Balducci is. The adviser says: "Up at the seminary … where the cardinal lives." Ehiem replies: "He could get there within half an hour … the time it takes to catch a taxi and get there."

Balducci asks for Ehiem to send a prostitute to "where the cardinal lives". Hmm, I wonder whether the cardinal was there at the time, and/or was aware of the arrangement?

#63:

Hmm, in the article it says that Balducci's name would not appear in the Vatican's directory: "He obviously can't come back here after being accused of these things". Usually it seems these guys are willing to forgive the guilty among them, but now they're totally unwelcoming to the accused. What gives?
Oh, it must be because Balducci is involved in consensual sex rather than rape.

Consensual sex between adults, no less. How icky. Meanwhile, Cardinal Law is presumably still in good standing in the Vatican.

I wonder if they used condoms.

http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-just-love-good-vatican-…

The Vatican is rocked by scandal!
No more singing Bach or Handel;
Finding men to suit demand’ll
Get you in the end!
Caught on wire as he confesses
Finding dates for men in dresses;
Hold the tape and stop the presses,
Better to attend!

What’s the problem? Prostitution;
Finding, matching, distribution,
Knowing later absolution
Wipes you free of sin!
A chorister who likes duet work
Organized a proper network
Told the gigolos they’d get work;
“When can you begin?”

With ornate bedposts, leafed with gold, and sheets of finest satin
Your tips are better, we are told, if you can moan in Latin.

He’s lost the high ground in these quarrels
No more resting on his laurels;
If the Pope should speak of morals,
We can roll our eyes.
Throughout time, since Eden’s apple,
Till the current papal grapple,
Seems the urge to fuck a chap’ll
Always get a rise!

By Cuttlefish, OM (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

As usual, Cuttlefish has summarized the situation beautifully.

By 'Tis Himself, OM (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Regarding the gay prostitution scandal in the Vatican - Jumpin' Jeezus, the Catholics are still selling indulgences, eh.

By vanharris (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

When you repainted, did you paint directly on the old wallpapers or did you tear them down before? In the same situation here...

take down the paper.

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Your tips are better, we are told, if you can moan in Latin.

One Internet for Cuttlefish!

"Papal Fellatio Conga Line"

And one Internet for Stephen Wells, I think. Man, that was funny.

By https://me.yah… (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Stephen Wells @ 33:

Incidental note: biblically, the crime of Sodom is, according to Ezekiel 16.49, this: "Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy".

(Most, i.e. all but 7000) New Zealanders will recognise that:

http://www.voxy.co.nz/national/god-doesnt-want-me-be-poor-yeah-right-br…

By Xenithrys (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Er...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sorry.

By https://me.yah… (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Steve L. #63

I was thinking the along the same line.

I suspect that getting caught on a wire tap is what put them over the top. It is obviously not crime that the "Church" has a problem with, it is getting caught. Frankly, I'm not a bit surprised.

By Ye Olde Blacksmith (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Quote -

"Beside, we do not reside in Sodom."

Ah, but maybe Sodom resides in you ?

Sorry about that....... I couldn't resist that michievous comment. I agree with you actually.

By and7barton (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

My dear, naughty wife just summed it up:

"Adeste Fidelis".

By Stardrake (not verified) on 05 Mar 2010 #permalink

Is it only the gay prostitution rings that are the scandal? What about the heterosexual ones. Is no one looking for those because they rate as normal and therefore not news?

By malcanoid (not verified) on 06 Mar 2010 #permalink