I'm a little surprised at the "going to hell for this" in the title of the post. Too close to granting the religious their assumptions of reality. It's a talisman of the still-religious or waffly to hopefully ward off the actual wrath of a god while they try to make humor. I don't bother with that anymore.
Shouldn't there have been a vat of blood, with an Ernest and Julio Gallo wine label on it? This needs to be complete. Also, is he kosher? Jews need to know.
Am I the only one here upset that they got most of the cuts completely wrong? The ribs and shank are all mixed up! As are the flank and rump.
As a tough muscley carpenter, Jesus should be corned or marinated for at least a good couple hours for most cuts. Or you can cross-cut some Jesus tri-tip and fry it for Jesus Fajitas.
Remember to limit your servings of Jesus to only a couple times a week, particularly if you're watching your cholesterol.
Posting this on Facebook is a sure way to shed friends in a hurry, if you have any that can't take a joke - I can tell you this from recent experience!
Posting this on Facebook is a sure way to shed friends in a hurry, if you have any that can't take a joke - I can tell you this from recent experience!
The more friends I have on Facebook, the more I have to self-censor. (Yes, assuming I actually want to keep my friends.) Shedding a few might not be an entirely bad idea.
I'm not used to eating Zombie. Still, I guess a nice stew might be in order, simmer long and slowly for maximum tenderness and to prevent resurrection.
Some nice bread for dipping (avoid stale cracker though).
For those of you who are really planning to carve up jebeus when he comes back, don't use this diagram, its got the anatomy all wrong. I seem to remember seeing one by PETA of a young lady, with pretty much the right cuts properly identified. She looked a bit more tender and juicy, if I recall correctly.
Yes, they are surely going to burn in hell. Their knowledge of butchery is total crap. Just about everything is pointing to the wrong spot on the carcass.
Yeah, I know it's been said already but I take my cooking seriously damnit! I had lamb shanks with rosemary, red wine & bacon slow cooking overnight. Try that with saviour shanks!
Since the guy supposedly doesn't die, I think it's OK for us vegetarians to eat him. Kind of like eating cheese or eggs.
But, because he's working his job there on the cross, a vegan would consider eating his manhandles (oh, yes, I had to go there) similar to eating honey: in other words, treif.
"I can almost picture Bill Donohue fuming and screaming, and ranting."
Donohue is like Old Faithful -- he erupts and spouts a lot of hot air every 90 minutes or so.
If you could run a turbine off outrage, Donohue would single-handedly end the world's energy problems.
Has no one noticed that the depiction of crucifixion is quite in error? And every crucifix I've ever seen. Roman era churchmen and artists were not expected to be so much up on their anatomy - even though the centurions were, but these present-day threads have many folk who are more aware of the physical aspects of human (is that perhaps my error?) physiology in staging a successful crucifixion?
Since the guy supposedly doesn't die, I think it's OK for us vegetarians to eat him. Kind of like eating cheese or eggs.
But, because he's working his job there on the cross, a vegan would consider eating his manhandles (oh, yes, I had to go there) similar to eating honey: in other words, treif.
Yup, I've known vegans who have stated (if they were interested) that human flesh would be acceptable if the individual consciously made the decision to donate it. I think they were joking.
But still, the guy is supposed to be a half-god. Maybe eating him will give us limited god powers (not sure if you can get limited god powers, since they're...you know...god powers). I'd possibly give up my veganism temporarily for that chance!
Even some religious people might find this funny. They post similar stuff.
Last week, on the bus, Number Four Son pointed out a billboard outside a church. Above a sketch image of a crucified Jesus (top half only, fully clothed) were the words:
Ha! ... and not a speck of cereal!
Ah, but this is only blasphemous in essence -- not in empirical fact.
Would prefer a slow smoking, personally.
And the "thumbs up" in the upper right corner has a nail in it!
Ahhh.. Priceless.
Looks like it's steak for dinner tonight.
*lets his food pedantry ignore the placement of those cuts.
Hey, PZ, did you email a copy of this to Bill Donohue? He needs distribe material for his next fund-raising letter.
At least they skipped the organ meats. That could get gross fast.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p
My post should read "diatribe material."
I went to the Rev. BDC's school of typos.
If by gross you mean delicious!
If Jesus is the lamb of god, shouldn't there be lamb fries?
And no bacon!
Looks like mostly stew meat.
I'm still confused. Which part is the cracker made out of, again?
Whoever designed that gets points for the idea but loses almost as many for creativity -- those cuts aren't even close to accurate.
I suspended my anatomical and butchering knowledge for the joke.
What, no cracker-bacon?
One wonders. Would it be sacrilegious to go into a Catholic church, receive communion and blurt out, "Yummy, tastes like white meat of chicken!"
I'm a little surprised at the "going to hell for this" in the title of the post. Too close to granting the religious their assumptions of reality. It's a talisman of the still-religious or waffly to hopefully ward off the actual wrath of a god while they try to make humor. I don't bother with that anymore.
I posted this link the other day, but it's even more perfect for this graphic. Read or listen to my poem, "Transubstantiation Is A Crock(pot)"
Enjoy! Yum!
Jason
What?! No Golgotha Oysters, my favorite part?
Shouldn't there have been a vat of blood, with an Ernest and Julio Gallo wine label on it? This needs to be complete. Also, is he kosher? Jews need to know.
No one knows the real&trade nature of Jeezy's body.
Maybe his tibia really&trade was connected to his scapula.
(dem bones dem bones dem dry bones)
But yet it still tastes like styrofoam.
mmmmmmm
Brisket of Nazareth
nom nom nom
But Wait... Jeseus was Jewish,
You can't eat below the rib-cage.
It's not Kosher.
um
wow
Rolled in cornmeal and fried to a crisp.
Oh! This reminds me- I need to pick up a pound of sliced, lean roast beef at the market.
Oh, come on, now.
Some of us are vegetarians.
The joke's been made...
Call PETA!
Come on, Rev. We can't let any parts go to waste.
...and wrapped in bacon. Now that's the spirit!
what are the numbers next to each cut for?
mmm...jebus, wrapped in bacon, on the grill, medium rare of course!
Am I the only one here upset that they got most of the cuts completely wrong? The ribs and shank are all mixed up! As are the flank and rump.
As a tough muscley carpenter, Jesus should be corned or marinated for at least a good couple hours for most cuts. Or you can cross-cut some Jesus tri-tip and fry it for Jesus Fajitas.
Remember to limit your servings of Jesus to only a couple times a week, particularly if you're watching your cholesterol.
Is it free range, kosher-fed jesus, or that nasty stuff, full of hormones and antibiotics from a giant feedlot?
They're hanging him upside down.
From the Meat Standards of Australia: beef chart
Braise the Lord! 450 degrees F for ten minutes - salt and butter to taste.
I'd like to see a Mohammed meat chart.
Posting this on Facebook is a sure way to shed friends in a hurry, if you have any that can't take a joke - I can tell you this from recent experience!
Mmm... Holy Shepherd's Pie
@ #36
"Braise the Lord!"
Now that's funny! I laughed out loud*.
*compliment requires more than the trendy acronym.
Yes, all that tasty meat if you leave it for too long.
@Swampfoot #38
The more friends I have on Facebook, the more I have to self-censor. (Yes, assuming I actually want to keep my friends.) Shedding a few might not be an entirely bad idea.
What's that the processors say?
"Everything's used but the squeal."
Wait, can we eat Jesus if he doesn't chew his cud? Isn't he technically unclean according to Leviticus?
Oh, wait! I was thinking there was some consistency in religion! Silly me. Gimme a double bacon Jeeez(us)burger!
I'm not used to eating Zombie. Still, I guess a nice stew might be in order, simmer long and slowly for maximum tenderness and to prevent resurrection.
Some nice bread for dipping (avoid stale cracker though).
Cannibalising Jesus has never looked so tasty!
IslandBrewer:
They also left off the meat thermometer insertion point in his side.
Reminds me of that picture I saw a while back that had Jesus crucified and said "If you're Jesus and you know it, clap your hands!"
For those of you who are really planning to carve up jebeus when he comes back, don't use this diagram, its got the anatomy all wrong. I seem to remember seeing one by PETA of a young lady, with pretty much the right cuts properly identified. She looked a bit more tender and juicy, if I recall correctly.
I have a vision of Colorectal cancer here.
I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites] Mmm, sacrilicious.
Holy cow. I can almost picture Bill Donohue fuming and screaming, and ranting.
Are these choice cuts available in a Carolina BBQ sauce/style? *smacks lips*
Since humans neither chew the cud nor cleave the hoof, no part of them is kosher.
But where's Jesus' T-bone?
Surely the son of god is not all stew meat?
I'm not ordering a side if there's no Savior Steaks.
Longstreet63
(who needs to stop logging in with a Yahoo account)
I just had a nice pork risotto for dinner. Wasn't made with Mythical Long Pig.
Hannibal Lecter could give "I love Jesus" a whole new meaning - with a nice Chianti.
then that processor doesn't know what he's doing
From the rooter to the tooter
Hannibal Lecter could give "I love Jesus" a whole new meaning - with a nice Chianti.
As was pointed out - several times - earlier, they are hanging Jeebus upside down. No excuse, I know.
JC
I'd love a Pop Tart
Yes, they are surely going to burn in hell. Their knowledge of butchery is total crap. Just about everything is pointing to the wrong spot on the carcass.
Yeah, I know it's been said already but I take my cooking seriously damnit! I had lamb shanks with rosemary, red wine & bacon slow cooking overnight. Try that with saviour shanks!
It's an outrage!
The rump, short loin and brisket are all in totally the wrong places. Sheesh.
Paul Burnett @36:
Win!
Insightful Ape @ #28:
Since the guy supposedly doesn't die, I think it's OK for us vegetarians to eat him. Kind of like eating cheese or eggs.
But, because he's working his job there on the cross, a vegan would consider eating his manhandles (oh, yes, I had to go there) similar to eating honey: in other words, treif.
A few more like that, Paul @36 and you'll be Order of the Molly material.
Braise Him, Braise Him, Braise the Lamb of Cod. Wait...
Should that be with a white or a red wine?
Bet you, it tastes like tripe.
"I can almost picture Bill Donohue fuming and screaming, and ranting."
Donohue is like Old Faithful -- he erupts and spouts a lot of hot air every 90 minutes or so.
If you could run a turbine off outrage, Donohue would single-handedly end the world's energy problems.
Has no one noticed that the depiction of crucifixion is quite in error? And every crucifix I've ever seen. Roman era churchmen and artists were not expected to be so much up on their anatomy - even though the centurions were, but these present-day threads have many folk who are more aware of the physical aspects of human (is that perhaps my error?) physiology in staging a successful crucifixion?
Nothing sacrilegious here. Jesus himself said "Take and eat, this is my body." I'll go fire up the grill now.
One word: TRIPE
For those of you NOT ROTFLYAO...look it up.
OK, OK.
Fried Chitterlings and Hog Maws.
You wouldn't want to waste the intestines or stomach!
@chgo_liz #65
Yup, I've known vegans who have stated (if they were interested) that human flesh would be acceptable if the individual consciously made the decision to donate it. I think they were joking.
But still, the guy is supposed to be a half-god. Maybe eating him will give us limited god powers (not sure if you can get limited god powers, since they're...you know...god powers). I'd possibly give up my veganism temporarily for that chance!
I prefer my Jesus ground up and on bun with mushrooms and swiss. *chomp* Mmmmf gwth!
Quoting failure :(
Soylent Green is god!
Shanks be to God.
Christianity and meat. Two things I'm very glad I live without.
"The only way that I am ever going to understand Christianity is to kill Jesus and eat his brain."
What about his but cheeks? Hot cross buns anyone?
Perhaps now is a good time to introduce one particular bit of Philippine Cuisine:
Soup Number 5, anyone? ;)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soup_Number_Five
Is it bad that my first thought was that you can't possibly get that much meat from one skinny guy?
Why would I be laughing at tripe?
Been there for the chitlins, not so much on the Hog Maws.
Even some religious people might find this funny. They post similar stuff.
Last week, on the bus, Number Four Son pointed out a billboard outside a church. Above a sketch image of a crucified Jesus (top half only, fully clothed) were the words:
"I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH".