Pharyngula

Boobquake bombed

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The results are in, and I’m sorry to say that women dressing provocatively caused no significant statistical difference in the frequency or magnitude of earthquakes. Geology is simply unimpressed by small localized fat concentrations on the short-lived bodies of mammals.

I’m afraid, though, that the experiment didn’t test the alternative hypothesis: that there is a lecherous god using reverse psychology on us. That’s the problem with the whole god idea — it’s a shifting target.

Comments

  1. #1 zomaha
    April 27, 2010

    All those boobs left an earthquake in my pants.

  2. #2 Gyeong Hwa Pak, Scholar of Shen Zhou
    April 27, 2010

    I don’t know about this. The Biblical God is usually to concerned with the condition of the male penis to care much for lesbian sex.

  3. #3 Carlie
    April 27, 2010

    Not only did all of the earthquakes on boobquake fall within the normal range of magnitudes, but the mean magnitude actually decreased slightly!

    Obviously, god likes boobs.

  4. #4 Chris Hegarty
    April 27, 2010

    I agree with #2: there’s definitely some hardcore phallic fixation in El Bible.

    Besides, I find it very hard to believe that any fictional being couldn’t like boobs. They’re something that, quite generally, we can all agree upon. When political or societal problems threaten to tear us apart, boobs bring us back from the brink.

    –Chris

  5. #5 MrFire
    April 27, 2010

    The most important lesson to learn from all this is that, according to the cartoon, Jehovah is clearly Patrick Stewart.

  6. #6 ambook
    April 27, 2010

    I tried to convince my kids that my shirt was causing an earthquake, but they told me it was just me shaking the couch. So much for trying to get them to believe in an activist god.

  7. #7 Carlie
    April 27, 2010

    Of course, Tim Minchin has a song that covers this as well. Kind of. (nsfw lyrics)

  8. #8 Andreas Johansson
    April 27, 2010

    I don’t know about this. The Biblical God is usually to concerned with the condition of the male penis to care much for lesbian sex.

    That’s just a smokescreen to make the lesbians think they’re not being watched.

  9. #9 jdmuys
    April 27, 2010

    It’s a pity no boob was on display during boobquake :-(
    I found all that immodesty quite modest.

    Nothing to shake the earth, nor anybody in the vicinity, here in France.

    Here full naked boobs are shown on TV ads on prime time.

  10. #10 Hirnlego
    April 27, 2010

    On the plus side this means that it requires further experiments.

  11. #11 Reginald Selkirk
    April 27, 2010

    I am tired of seeing the “Waiting for twitter.com…” message while I wait for your web pages to load. Could you please design your page to display actual web content before the twitter stuff? Thank you.

  12. #12 Ewan R
    April 27, 2010

    Can we definitively say that there was a statistically significant increase in provocative dressing on a global scale? I think we need a bigger study.

    Please?

  13. #13 Jed
    April 27, 2010

    One data point is nowhere near enough. we need Boobquake 2.0. Also, I did not see anyone at the University of New Mexico participating.

  14. #14 Glen Davidson
    April 27, 2010

    It’s really the ultimate in anthropomorphism to think that the earth is affected by boobs like men are.

    However, replication really is the key to science, so a repeat is clearly indicated. And I say this solely because of my commitment to science.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p

  15. #15 Holytape
    April 27, 2010

    Maybe, we can use this to the advantage of mankind. Instead of causing earthquakes, exposed cleavage might reduced the number of earthquakes or at least the magnitude. It’s much harder to shake the earth if one of God’s hands is already, umm…. busy.

    Maami Wata and Jesus

  16. #16 Robert H
    April 27, 2010

    Scoff while you can, unbelievers! I predict that within the next year there will be earthquakes, tornados, floods and droughts all directly attributable to Boobquake! Women contemptuously shaking their breasts will get us all killed-make them stop now!

  17. #17 sophia-daniels
    April 27, 2010

    i’m waiting for the men over at spike tv or one of the men’s mags to declaire the clarics who made those original claims a national hero for getting the ladies to show off more flesh.

  18. #18 armillary
    April 27, 2010

    I for one approve of those magmaiferous mammaries.

  19. #19 William
    April 27, 2010

    I am amused by the photograph in the first link – I see mostly guys. And they’re not even showing off their manboobs!

  20. #20 puseaus
    April 27, 2010

    There is the possibility that all the boobs participating must shake simultaneously and in phase, the (approximate) spherical symmetry of the Earth’s surface makes it even more important to coordinate this kind of experiment accurately.

    I will not be surprised if an investigation concludes that the fine effects of this experiment has cancelled out due to symmetry. In any case it will be difficult to extract these from what is well known as The Background Boob Movement Noise Effect on Geological Activity. One should also consider the effects of other body parts, like toes, lobules, etc.

  21. #21 davehodg
    April 27, 2010

    We had a 6.6 here in Taiwan. Curse you mammaries!

  22. #22 Bethistopheles
    April 27, 2010

    Even if they did end up causing earthquakes, it wouldn’t be so bad. I mean, think of all the jiggling boobles!… *wanders off to dreamland*

  23. #23 Feynmaniac, Chimerical Toad
    April 27, 2010

    If we are truly to be scientists surely we require more data to draw definite conclusions. We need more boobquakes to properly test the hypothesis, let’s say N=1000.

  24. #24 bbgunn071679
    April 27, 2010

    Ta-tas Tease Taiwan to Tremble.

  25. #25 tutone21
    April 27, 2010

    The women had their shot to make the earth shake. Boys, gear up for weinerquake!

  26. #26 Anti_Theist-317
    April 27, 2010

    I absolutely love tits. I am glad exposing them or more of them does not bring natural disaster.

  27. #27 Louis
    April 27, 2010

    As I said yesterday, or perhaps the day before, I got my cock out. This study might not prove that boobs cause earthquakes, but it does prove that my cock prevents them.

    Q: Did the earth move for you, darling?

    A: No.

    Quod Erat Doofustratum.

    Wait….is this a good thing?

    Louis

  28. #28 Blondin
    April 27, 2010

    We have to consider the possibility that women were just not immodest enough. We just need to change one of the variables in the experiment: we need more than just cleavage, we need to see some nipples!

  29. #29 Bethistopheles
    April 27, 2010

    We’ll show you ours if you show us yours. >:]

    Then again, that might just bring on the apocalypse…

  30. #30 alysonmiers
    April 27, 2010

    On the plus side this means that it requires further experiments.

    Not only further experiments, but variation. This fall, I propose Assquake.

  31. #31 KOPD
    April 27, 2010

    This fall, I propose Assquake.

    We might want to consider renaming it. That one is vulnerable to some very sophomoric humor. Trust me, that’s my specialty.

  32. #32 btj
    April 27, 2010

    Geology is simply unimpressed by small localized fat concentrations on the short-lived bodies of mammals.

    Geology’s opinion notwithstanding, I continue to be amazed. I think many more trials are required in order to reach a firm conclusion.

  33. #33 Steven Mading
    April 27, 2010

    Boobquake made last night’s Colbert Report.

  34. #34 Ol'Greg
    April 27, 2010

    We might want to consider renaming it. That one is vulnerable to some very sophomoric humor. Trust me, that’s my specialty.

    Believe me, you were not the only one who thought that.

  35. #35 erasmus1731
    April 27, 2010

    Oh, I don’t know… All those easily tempted males doing whatever at the sight of female flesh might cause a disturbance on our little planet.

  36. #36 jcmartz.myopenid.com
    April 27, 2010

    In other news, this ought to make you happy: Citizens in Lebanon Rally Against Religion in Government

  37. #37 God
    April 27, 2010

    That false priest doesn’t know anything about Me! I quite liked the Boobquake, and that’s why I didn’t destroy Taiwan completely, even though that horrible Brainquake celebrating abominably brainy and uppity women took place at the same time.

  38. #38 Tuxedo Cartman
    April 27, 2010

    In Iran, women dress conservatively; lots of earthquakes.

    In Las Vegas, women dress occasionally; no earthquakes.

    Ergo, God likes him the titties. Makes sense.

  39. #39 KOPD
    April 27, 2010

    Ergo, God likes him the titties.

    Or at least so he claims. He is a hell of a homophobe, after all, so it could be an attempt to inflate his masculinity.

  40. #40 Rutee, Shrieking Harpy of Dooooom
    April 27, 2010

    The most important lesson to learn from all this is that, according to the cartoon, Jehovah is clearly Patrick Stewart.

    ur doin it wrong

    Patrick Stewart is god. Some asshole scribe was hard of hearing in Judea and transcribed the name completely wrong.

  41. #41 amoebamike
    April 27, 2010

    Did you see that the Facebook event page had over 200,000 attendees and over 1200 pictures posted?

    (Those were the numbers as of a few hours ago when I wrote about Boobquake on my blog.)

    The fact that so many women not only did their women-power roar, but showed off their bodies online was a bit of a surprise to me. It would seem many are quite proud of an asset which they have little control over (clothes: yes, but genetics: certainly not).

  42. #42 The Countess
    April 27, 2010

    I’m convinced that planning for Boobquake caused that volcano in Iceland to erupt. Dontcha think eruptions are more suitable when it comes to immodest women giving poor, weak Iranian clerics boners than earthquakes?

    Yeah, I saw news about Brainquake too. Anti-climactic.

  43. #43 JJH23
    April 27, 2010

    Wow what a waste of thought and time !

  44. #44 tiggerthewing#8a4e4
    April 27, 2010

    I prefer the explanation of a friend.

    The ‘god’ of earthquakes is actually a Goddess (Mother Earth) and the reason that Tehran gets so many earthquakes is that she is thoroughly pissed off at the repression of women there.

    Her suggestion?

    If the men of Iran wish to avoid calamity, they must stop repressing women immediately and allow them to wear/do whatever they want.

  45. #45 boloboffin
    April 27, 2010

    Hey, if God got all earthquaky when women ran around in skimpy clothes, why did He create them nude in the first place?

  46. #46 Doug Meyer
    April 27, 2010

    I think that we’ll need a do-over (or several). Especially in West Lafayette. And in Minnesota, now that the weather is beginning to cooperate.

  47. #47 John Morales
    April 27, 2010

    JJH23 @43, you, of course, were not wasting your thought and time writing that. No, not at all! :)

  48. #48 bbgunn071679
    April 28, 2010

    The Countess@42:
    Premature vulcanization?

  49. #49 KOPD
    April 28, 2010

    @43
    You apparently don’t understand how some geeks like to spend their time. I once passed the time at work doing back-of-the-envelope calculations to figure out if the ring in Halo was actually depicted in screenshots as being in a Lagrange point*. Some people like numbers.

    * It wasn’t of course. Nothing in that game was drawn to scale. But that’s okay.

  50. #50 Copyleft
    April 28, 2010

    I can’t believe PZ overlooked the obvious title for this piece:

    BOOBQUAKE WAS A BUST.

  51. #51 Energy Boy
    April 29, 2010

    I think we need to have regular boobquakes to get a proper sample size and retest count. Also we need cover-up days to compare against. Also more boobs.

    I think Chain Bear covers God’s priorities just right:http://bit.ly/cZ8dBJ

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