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PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.
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Man makes himself, and he only makes himself completely in proportion as he desacrilizes himself and the world. The sacred is the prime obstacle to his freedom. He will become himself only when he is totally demysticized. He will not be truly free until he has killed the last god.
[Mircea Eliade]
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Category: Weirdness
Posted on: April 22, 2010 1:33 PM, by PZ Myers
All is revealed: trustworthiness is in the beard. Rate yourself on the scale:
I'm all the way to the left, under "Very Trustworthy", and just ahead of Dan Dennett.
Ladies, I'm sorry you're left out. This is also an illustration of why you are so mysterious to the clueless male — you aren't on the scale!
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Comments
Posted by: simply not edible
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April 22, 2010 1:44 PM
Well, apparently I'm threatening. Maybe I should just trim it some more, to make it look more trustworthy.
Good advice, I'd say. At the very least, I'll try to avoid Werewolf without overcompensating to Hitler. Or any of the Pencil Thins, for that matter.
Posted by: Erulóra (formerly KOPD)
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April 22, 2010 1:45 PM
I'm just a bit less trustworthy than PZ based on the facial hair, but the fact that I shave my head probably knocks me down a few points.
Posted by: Glen Davidson
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April 22, 2010 1:48 PM
Yup, nothing like evil Spock's goatee.
A trustworthy beard is perfect for spreading the soul-destroying theory of evolution.
And now we know why ID isn't science--no beards and the wrong ones.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p
Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas
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April 22, 2010 1:50 PM
I used to have a curly moustache, which put me, apparently, in the Questionable category. These days, I have an unkempt moustache and something vaguely resembling a goatee (thanks to finals, I've largely given up caring about my appearance), which, ironically, apparently makes me much more trustworthy.
And I wonder if there's any intended political symbolism in the fact that the "Trustworthy" category are on the left of the page...
Posted by: Etruscan
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April 22, 2010 1:51 PM
Third from the left. Any more and I'd feel like I'm wearing a Santa mask.
Posted by: alysonmiers
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April 22, 2010 1:51 PM
I applaud their assessments. My daddy's had a full beard for most of my life and my brother's had either a full beard or a goatee and mustache for most of the last several years.
Also, I think it's hilarious that they have "werewolf" in that scale.
Posted by: tdcourtney
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April 22, 2010 1:52 PM
Where's the Fu Manchu? Too disastrous to even be on the list?
Posted by: Thebear, just an agent of peas
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April 22, 2010 1:59 PM
Four steps below the Hogan??? I'm miffed!
Posted by: Janine, The Little Top Of Venom, OM
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April 22, 2010 1:59 PM
I saw a werewolf drinking a piña colada at Trader Vic's. His hair was perfect.
Did some one ask for Fu Manchu?
Posted by: blf
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April 22, 2010 2:00 PM
Well, depending on what is meant by kempt, I'm either way over at the left in poopyhead territory (very trustworthy), or else threatening.
Posted by: JoelW
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April 22, 2010 2:01 PM
What about the clean shaven?
Posted by: CMRD Ivan
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April 22, 2010 2:02 PM
So I'm between questionable and unsavory. Need to start growing a mustache for my goatee.
Posted by: CarpeJeep
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April 22, 2010 2:04 PM
Third from left as well.
Posted by: Knockgoats
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April 22, 2010 2:05 PM
My beard is also maximally trustworthy. So I guess if you are able to reach an agreement with my beard, you can be confident it will never let you down. However, I can in no circumstances be held liable.
I did consider switching to a handlebar moustache and side whiskers when I reached 50, so I could upset expectations by looking like an old fogey then spouting socialism - but it would have been too much trouble to keep up; the real reason for my "trustworthy" beard is that's it's minimum maintenance: no shaving, trimming once a month or so. Maybe I'll do it as a holiday experiment sometime.
Posted by: tsg
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April 22, 2010 2:06 PM
Far left. But only until the playoffs are over.
Posted by: delphi-ote
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April 22, 2010 2:07 PM
Women aren't on the scale? My mother in law is somewhere around "werewolf". Baa-ZING!
/I'm not actually married
//Obviously I post on Fark
Posted by: Janine, The Little Top Of Venom, OM
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April 22, 2010 2:09 PM
Sometimes, I cannot help myself.
Tryin' To Grow A Chin
Posted by: idle.pip.verisignlabs.com
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April 22, 2010 2:10 PM
I'm all the way at the right... Is that bad?
I always thought the secret to your success was cephalopods. Delicious cephalopods.
Posted by: Arancaytar
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April 22, 2010 2:13 PM
I have a goatee, which makes me unsavoury.
It also means I am the evil twin.
Wonder where my goody-two-shoes doppelganger is hiding.
Posted by: Dianne
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April 22, 2010 2:13 PM
Women's beards are...elsewhere...and are all very, very trustworthy, just like us. Please email me your bank account number so I can demonstrate how perfectly trustworthy women are.
Posted by: Alexis
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April 22, 2010 2:15 PM
PZed is next to Osama Bin Laden? I want to see the research on this one.
Posted by: carrythebanner
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April 22, 2010 2:16 PM
Pretty good chart, although Friendly Chops should also include "a.k.a. The Lemmy."
Posted by: Celtic_Evolution
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April 22, 2010 2:18 PM
tsg -
ahh... the playoff beard... growing it myself. This is for NHL playoffs, I assume?
Your team of choice?
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage
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April 22, 2010 2:20 PM
Since I have a beard similar to PZ's and Knockgoat's, I'm equally as trustworthy.
OT, I have some beachfront property in Wyoming that some of you Europeans might be interest in buying. I offer it first to Europeans because Americans and Canadians don't appreciate the glory that is Wyoming beaches.
Posted by: F
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April 22, 2010 2:20 PM
Hrm. My beard may be trustworthy, but it doesn't seem to reflect on me as a person. I guess it has its own life.
Joel W, the clean-shaven cannot be trusted at all. You can't tell a trustworthy clean-shaven type from one who has been compromised by social and biz pressures. ;)
Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes
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April 22, 2010 2:21 PM
Often unkempt beard, but then I can be like Bam! Goatee with Moustache (= pretty trustworthy) in a blink of an eye.
Posted by: Romeo Vitelli
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April 22, 2010 2:22 PM
"This is also an illustration of why you are so mysterious to the clueless male — you aren't on the scale!"
A little excess body hair never got in the way of a woman's success:
http://drvitelli.typepad.com/providentia/2009/10/the-missing-link.html
Posted by: Randomfactor
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April 22, 2010 2:23 PM
Mildy (sic) Trustworthy Wilford Brimley type.
But Lenin had a beard...Lincoln had "whiskers."
Posted by: T. Bruce McNeely
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April 22, 2010 2:26 PM
As someone who is clean shaven because his beard is eye-burning ugly, I just have to say:
Why cultivate on your face what grows wild on your ass?
Posted by: Celtic_Evolution
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April 22, 2010 2:26 PM
So, ummmm...
Ken Ham = trustworthy?
Posted by: recovering catholic
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April 22, 2010 2:29 PM
"Based on absolutely no scientific evidence."
Kudos for honesty...
Posted by: bbgunn071679
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April 22, 2010 2:36 PM
Randomfactor@28: Marx had a beard. Lenin had a beard. Gabby Hayes(sp?) had whiskers.
Posted by: PZ Myers
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April 22, 2010 2:36 PM
Ken Ham has the Amish beard. "Questionable".
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp
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April 22, 2010 2:37 PM
Humm.
I'm a combination of the Colonel Sanders and the Hogan.
So I'm Questionably Unsavory
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage
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April 22, 2010 2:38 PM
T. Bruce McNeely #29
Just because you can't grow a decent beard doesn't mean every other male has similar failings.
Posted by: blf
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April 22, 2010 2:41 PM
Gay and bald? Evo Morales thinks you ate too much chicken:
The article then goes on to point out the use of hormones in poultry was banned several decades ago.
Posted by: Celtic_Evolution
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April 22, 2010 2:42 PM
PZ -
Good point... forgot he lacked the 'stache.
Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline.
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April 22, 2010 2:45 PM
Part of my failure in crystallography may be down to my lack of a beard to carry around seeds in.
Posted by: Blondin
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April 22, 2010 2:45 PM
I'm happy to see I come in 3rd from the Trustworthy end.
It's a pity there is no such scale for females. Unfortunately the only way to learn the true female nature is to marry 'em (which kinda' defeats the purpose, eh?).
Posted by: blf
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April 22, 2010 2:45 PM
Heathens and infidels. Worse than the wimmen, at least they have an excuse.
Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline.
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April 22, 2010 2:47 PM
Why sez it grows wild?Posted by: mr.obelus
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April 22, 2010 2:48 PM
"This is also an illustration of why you are so mysterious to the clueless male."
pander
Posted by: JackC
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April 22, 2010 2:58 PM
Right there with ya, PZ. It is scary how similar our beards are. I have more hair though.
JC
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp
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April 22, 2010 2:58 PM
What causes raving dumbfuckery?
Posted by: jack.rawlinson
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April 22, 2010 2:58 PM
I recently grew a beard, for the second time in my life. It was the full set, well-trimmed... all the way to the left.
I shaved it off. I'm not sure I like being seen as trustworthy. It makes me uneasy. I had fun shaving it off, mind. I did it in stages and included the goatee, the Anton La Vey, the Zappa/Nick Cave, the "Is he gay, conservative or a cop?" and, yes, the Hitler.
I do not look trustworthy with the Hitler. Oh dear me no. But it had to go.
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawneFKPEzAZBsanj9me6EOu2PjSlvbqyb8c
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April 22, 2010 3:01 PM
Aw shucks, I'm threatening/dangerous. In my estimate I'm able to grow a much more convincing playoff beard than Sidney Crosby but I'm still in the "patchy" -category. I guess I could point to the fact that I'm still in my early twenties, but too many of my peers are already beard legends for me to draw the age card.
Curse my incompetent follicles, I'm never going to raise to the ranks of Darwin and Bin Laden... oh wait.
-Watoosh
Posted by: Celtic_Evolution
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April 22, 2010 3:04 PM
Chicken, also...
Posted by: Numenaster
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April 22, 2010 3:06 PM
I call shenanigans. Jamie Hyneman is in no way unsavory.
(Considering that he works out, there are doubtless times when he's quite savory indeed. Yum.)
Posted by: Celtic_Evolution
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April 22, 2010 3:08 PM
Well... there is, although it focuses on a region slightly further south...
Topic for another day...
Posted by: Newfie
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April 22, 2010 3:10 PM
Neutral, and makes a decent fried chicken.
Posted by: Holytape
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April 22, 2010 3:12 PM
Crap, I'm in between the unkempt beard going on werewolf. But at least I don't have the Hilter going.
Virgin Birth
Posted by: Azkyroth
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April 22, 2010 3:13 PM
Isn't pattern baldness also *positively* correlated with male hormone levels?
Posted by: sasqwatch
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April 22, 2010 3:15 PM
Y'ain't never heard of bearded clams?
Posted by: levitooker
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April 22, 2010 3:18 PM
I have the third most trustworthy beard on the scale. All right!
Posted by: Lurky
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April 22, 2010 3:22 PM
Apparently I'm skimming the border of Very Trustworthy and Mildly Trustworthy. Is this something you can put on a CV? Citing the picture of course!
Posted by: David Marjanović
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April 22, 2010 3:27 PM
WTF. "Friendly chops"?!? That's the Imperial And Royal beard of Francis Joseph the First And Last!
And funnily enough, the development of your beard mirrors the development of your brain...
Me, I always wanted to have a full beard, like Daddy and PZ, when I grow up (and yes, laziness is one reason). The "growing up" part just hasn't happened yet.
Aaaah... the Cretaceous beaches of Wyoming... :-)
Posted by: NewEnglandBob
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April 22, 2010 3:29 PM
I went from all the way on the left to the third spot from the left due to too much trouble coloring all that gray.
Posted by: David Marjanović
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April 22, 2010 3:30 PM
Testosterone, yes. No idea about the other androgens.
Posted by: tsg
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April 22, 2010 3:34 PM
Is there another kind?
NJ Devils. Although they've been playing like they've got early tee times tomorrow. They're down to having to win three in a row to move on against a team that pretty well dominated them in the regular season.
Posted by: GODis10-7
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April 22, 2010 3:38 PM
So, at best I can be mildly-trustworthy...
Damn rules about no hair where masks seal, although without those I'd be neutral with a set of friendly chops anyway.
Posted by: Knockgoats
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April 22, 2010 3:39 PM
I recently grew a beard - jack.rawlinson
S'funny - I don't need to grow a beard - I stopped shaving and it grew all by itself!
Posted by: Red John
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April 22, 2010 3:45 PM
I'm currently not on the scale, but a fair amount of the time I'm just to the right of Dan Dennett. I can settle for that.
Posted by: tsg
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April 22, 2010 3:46 PM
That's my line:
"Are you growing a beard?"
"No, I'm just not shaving."
"What's the difference?"
"One implies effort."
Posted by: Weed Monkey
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April 22, 2010 3:48 PM
I'm still working on my Burt Reynolds-moustache. If I only had the facial hair growth I'd go for Lemmy - which should, of course, be off the charts here, 'coz so is Lemmy. Friendly chops, my arse.
Posted by: Flex
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April 22, 2010 3:50 PM
8th from the left, but the site is blocked from work so I can't tell what they call it and it's too small to read on PZ's site.
I guess I'm solidly in the normal trustworthiness level, but I'd recommend taking what I say with grain of salt.
What I do know is that I see very few burnsides around.
Posted by: jcmartz.myopenid.com
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April 22, 2010 3:51 PM
Having facial hair is cumbersome--in my opinion--so I just shave everything.
Posted by: 朴競花/박경화 (Gyeong Hwa)
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April 22, 2010 3:52 PM
Yeah I'm trustworthy!!!
but how come I don't have the chest hair to accompany it?
Posted by: blf
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April 22, 2010 3:54 PM
Eating chicken is easier.
Posted by: alysonmiers
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April 22, 2010 3:54 PM
OTOH, my maternal grandfather had "The Handlebar" and he was far better than "questionable," so the chart has its limits. :p
Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier
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April 22, 2010 3:57 PM
My "truthworthy" beard can be used to mislead....
Same here, except I trim a bit more often.
Oh, and it also feeds me by collecting crumbs from previous meals.
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler
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April 22, 2010 3:58 PM
Burt Reynolds is more trustworthy than Abe Lincoln, and Colonel Sanders is above Alexandr Solzhenitsyn (aka Amish Al)?
I jus' dunno 'bout this...
Posted by: andrew h
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April 22, 2010 4:04 PM
i always thought i was pretty trustworthy, but i guess i need to upgrade from my patchy scruffy monthly beard to a burt reynolds for at least a few days...
but really, i don't see why shaving my chin and cheeks should invert my trustworthiness...
Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger
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April 22, 2010 4:29 PM
I bounce between "Very Trustworthy" and "Unsavory" on a regular basis. I can't grow a decent beard, but I can grow a goatstache/vandyke... but sometimes I just want a chin tuft instead.
Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger
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April 22, 2010 4:32 PM
(In case you're wondering: compare this with this.)
Posted by: tommorris
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April 22, 2010 4:35 PM
So Dennett = Darwin. That is standard beard lore.
But may I suggest that the late philosopher David Lewis ought to be considered the academic Gandalf. His beard looks remarkably like Gandalf the Grey's beard. And since he is a modal realist, his white-bearded counterpart can be put through a modal black hole to play Gandalf the White. (Sorry, I'll try to keep my metaphysics jokes to myself in future.)
Don't believe me? Lewis' beard is mighty:
http://www.princeton.edu/pr/pictures/l-r/lewis,david/lewisportrait.jpg
There is of course the issue of programmers:
http://www.codethinked.com/post/2007/12/06/The-Programmer-Dress-Code.aspx
I have a rough hypothesis: strictness of type system is correlated to beard length.
Notice how Guido van Rossum, creator of Python, has no beard at all. Nor does Larry Wall, creator of Perl. Yukihiro Matsumoto, creator of Ruby, has a wispy little beard. Gerald Jay Sussman - co-inventor of Scheme - no beard. Hal Abelson - of Abelson & Sussman SICP fame, Logo - no beard. PHP has a type system that makes me rage and Rasmus Lerdorf has barely any beard at all.
Compare that to Dennis Ritchie, K&R, James Gosling (Java), Bjarne Strostrup (C++), Robin Milner and Roger Hindley (of Hindley-Milner type inference fame) and Philip Wadler (one of the designers of Haskell).
There are two annoying exceptions I've found thus far: Simon Peyton Jones (Haskell, developer of GHC) and Martin Odersky (Scala, Pizza, GJ, javac).
Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM, CR
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April 22, 2010 4:38 PM
I'd grow a beard, except that it would pretty much render my chromatophores useless.
Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline.
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April 22, 2010 4:42 PM
And in reverse.Posted by: iambilly
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April 22, 2010 4:42 PM
I'm third most trustworthy. Not bad.
The whole thing must change over time, though. Oliver Hardy had the Hitler 'stache and he was thought of as rather trustworthy. And, say, fifteen years ago, the circle beard (goatee + mustache) was the hight of evil.
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/SaqGVG0xvJEQVwURVamS3DTCdvov0BLhXK1jOsYPPJQ-#b4893
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April 22, 2010 4:51 PM
I am all the way over to the left, but then I read the footnote that this is not based on science, so I may not be as trustworthy as the chart would indicate.
Since it's not based on science, does that mean it's based on religion?
MikeM
Posted by: boygenius
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April 22, 2010 4:54 PM
I don't know where I rank. I have a full beard and mustache, but I keep the sides and mustache trimmed somewhat short with a philosopher length goatee on the chin. So.. pretty trustworthy. But my head hair falls below the shoulder blades. So.. not so trustworthy?
And I have Andy Rooney eyebrows.
Posted by: Michael Bok
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April 22, 2010 4:58 PM
I have beard ADD.
http://arthropoda.wordpress.com/2010/04/22/where-do-you-fall-on-the-beard-spectrum/
Posted by: iambilly
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April 22, 2010 5:01 PM
MikeM: Could be politics. They have Hitler at the far right. And PZ at the far left, so . . .
Posted by: sean.peters3
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April 22, 2010 5:03 PM
I'm also totally trustworthy. And clean-shaven dudes are clearly so untrustworthy that they're off the scale.
Posted by: lorigb
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April 22, 2010 5:04 PM
Aww, apparently my boyfriend is threatening with his unkempt homeless guy beard.
(Though he did go clean-shaven last Halloween to dress up as Daria. Which was awesome.)
Posted by: eyespy
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April 22, 2010 5:07 PM
I'm in at No. 3, with the standard moustache-goatee configuration.
Although I wonder if it's the same with a shaved head...
Posted by: Funkopolis
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April 22, 2010 5:08 PM
I tried a handlebar design
My Fu Manchu was real fine
My Ronald Colman made 'em blink
My Pancho Villa made 'em think
But when I trimmed 'em real small
My Jewish friends would never call
Posted by: Andreas Johansson
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April 22, 2010 5:10 PM
I guess #3 is the closest match for my beard, tho I do not take responsibility for the consequences if you describe me as having a "goatee" within my hearing distance.
Posted by: natural cynic
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April 22, 2010 5:18 PM
I had to magnify the page to see what was third from the right and only found a werewolf. I guess that's the right place for one.
I first thought it was a cat, in which case it should have been in a separate category, far to the right of Hitler.
And the Osama beard is in the correct place for trustworthiness. You can trust him to make the wrong choice.
Posted by: Rey Fox, Bird Caller Guy
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April 22, 2010 5:34 PM
I'm a bit surprised that the "cop mustache" is considered trustworthy.
"And I wonder if there's any intended political symbolism in the fact that the "Trustworthy" category are on the left of the page..."
No, it's because we read from left to right, and you can't start with Hitler. It would be like eating desert first. If the desert was habanero cheesecake.
Posted by: Rey Fox, Bird Caller Guy
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April 22, 2010 5:40 PM
Meanwhile, if I were to let my facial hair grow, I would end up with a combination patchy/molester mustache/neck beard. And one rather hirsute mole to the right of my mouth. On the whole, I think I'd be better off with the Hitler toothbrush.
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/cfe5EdI2tPPS0JvzMQTyVrhdAjuEx5cM.Gc-#341a3
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April 22, 2010 5:54 PM
Beardy cuttlefish?
On second thoughts, it would
Be most endearing
Posted by: Mu
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April 22, 2010 6:36 PM
Another Nr. 3
Posted by: KillJoy
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April 22, 2010 6:47 PM
I rank somewhere between 'questionable' and 'unsavory' what with my goatee and all. :(
KJ
Posted by: JSug
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April 22, 2010 7:07 PM
Interesting scale, except that there's a very fine difference between the Wilford Brimley and the Handlebar, and they're separated by half the chart. One is considered mildly trustworthy, and the other questionable. Where does Sam Elliot fall on this scale?
Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies
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April 22, 2010 7:09 PM
I do not have a beard. However, Mr. ODS does have the unsavory "chin tuft" which I absolutely hate.
It looks like sculpted pubes, is what I'm saying. YOUR FACE IS NOT A PORN STAR!
Posted by: Wowbagger, Man-Hating Man of Pharyngula
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April 22, 2010 7:22 PM
I'm currently growing a goatee for the next play I'm in (The Tempest; while I'm technically old enough to be the father to the character playing my son, I don't look it. Sadly, my facial hair is mostly translucent so I've actually got to dye it so that anyone more than three free away thinks I've got more than a second-rate soul patch.
Oh, and the author of the article obviously isn't a Douglas Adams fan, since if he was he'd know that the technical name for the 'Amish beard' is a scethrog, as noted in The Deeper Meaning of Liff*.
*And possibly the earlier The Meaning of Liff; I wouldn't know 'cause I've only ever read Deeper.
Posted by: F
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April 22, 2010 7:28 PM
http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=258
Bottom strip.
Posted by: Krystalline Apostate
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April 22, 2010 7:55 PM
Never found a yardstick that could accurately measure a woman anyways.Posted by: Weed Monkey
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April 22, 2010 8:03 PM
tommorris #75,
John Backus seems to have been beardless as well.
Posted by: Haley
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April 22, 2010 8:17 PM
I don't like beards of any kind, or stubble. I'm squeamish about chest hair too.
I'd rather date a man who can't grow facial hair at all.
Posted by: Crudely Wrott , Drinking Solo Since Death's Back On The Wagon
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April 22, 2010 8:46 PM
PZ boasts, "I'm all the way to the left, under "Very Trustworthy"."
Judging by the graphics and your mug shot you appear to be correct. By similar judgment (eyes left!)* it also appears as though you are my right hand man. Thanks, pardner.
What a radically ambiguous and ceaselessly flowing quantum soup we all live in.
*since the beard to the right of you looks more like mine than any of the others. what? no, your other left
Posted by: Eidolon
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April 22, 2010 10:37 PM
Knockgoats @ 14:
You could always go for the Isaac Asimov look. Like you, I have a very trustworthy beard as well. IIRC, the cop moustache was know as the porn star special at one time as well. The whole shaving thing seems, well, barber-ous.
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnmfT6aBFwl3MgiYcsQJa_mnknTQi96v7s
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April 22, 2010 10:40 PM
They've got to be joking -- neck beard is not a sign of trustworthiness/lack thereof. It's the sign of dementia, the inability to shave low enough to actually shave your face clean.
Posted by: Camus Dude
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April 22, 2010 10:51 PM
I was full beard (trustworthy) for years, then I shaved for a girlfriend, and have stayed mostly clean shaven since then, although I always have sideburns (neutral) and occasionally mutton chops (almost questionable), but sometimes I might qualify for a full beard again if I'm just lazy and haven't shaved for awhile.
Posted by: ronsullivan
|
April 22, 2010 11:19 PM
Eating chicken is easier.
Shaving chicken is ridiculous.
Posted by: john.s.wilkins
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April 23, 2010 12:20 AM
That explains why nobody reads my blog: I'm not even on the scale, with a mo and a soul patch. Nobody trusts me...
Posted by: Gazza
|
April 23, 2010 12:53 AM
Has anyone noticed that the very trustworthy philosopher's beard bears a striking resemblance to Osama bin Laden's?
Worse still if you leave it too long between a trip to the barber your very trustworthy full beard becomes an unkempt threatening beard.
Sobering to think the only thing between your freedom and going to Guantanamo is a good haircut.
Posted by: blf
|
April 23, 2010 1:58 AM
That's broadly what happens to me, except I leave out the barber—unless a trip once every c.20 years counts. (Seriously! I was last at a barber in c.2000 to raise money for Amnesty International, and that was the first time I was at a barber since the early 1980s, which was at my parent's insistence before interviewing for a job.)
Posted by: Philip Legge
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April 23, 2010 3:13 AM
I'm another one for "mustache & goatee", i.e. between "Mildy" (sic) and Very Trustworthy... but what's questionable about the handlebar!? And while "clean shaven" is understandably not under consideration in the chart, why is "five o'clock shadow" omitted?
More research required, methinx. (At least the author concedes it's based on no evidence whatsoever.)
Posted by: Joe Fogey
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April 23, 2010 3:50 AM
I come out as very trustworthy too.
Someone asked about the clean shaven. Where do you think the term "bare-faced liar" comes from?
Posted by: MichelleZB
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April 23, 2010 9:57 AM
I think the chart is pretty much right on, except I find goatees less trustworthy than it does. Also, I don't think there would be anything wrong with mutton chops--they're out of style this century, but they'll be back any time now--and I think an unkept beard can look cool.
I love beards on men and wonder why so many women make their partners shave. My dad and my husband have beards (full beard). Also, so does Lieutenant Riker on Star Trek. Need I say more?
Well I will: if your dad doesn't have a beard, you've got two mums.
Posted by: Timberwoof
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April 23, 2010 11:49 AM
Hm. I'm usually the third one from the end, but sometimes I'm the third one from the end.
Posted by: Die Anyway
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April 23, 2010 11:50 AM
I've had pretty much the same 'full beard' for 37 years with a couple of brief tries at the Col. Sanders and the Hogan look. I don't know if people think I look trustworthy but the Evolve fish and the FSM insignia on my car probably make me a bit less trustworthy in the eyes of the local biblecrats.
Posted by: Peter Ashby
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April 23, 2010 12:48 PM
I'm not on the scale. I have a standard mustache (full well trimmed) and a small soul patch. Oh woe is me, uncategorised. Never mind, at least I have some facial hair.
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawkl9RMIRpiHQ8NiO8f5l56Ssk7Vc4a3KKU
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April 23, 2010 12:54 PM
Full beard and handlebar moustache - I'm very trustworthy and questionable. I guess it's questionable how much you should trust me...