Pharyngula

Posted by: Jessie Colt | June 15, 2010 9:50 AM

But the Hustler store nearby was left unscathed. I guess god prefers porn to prayer?

Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | June 15, 2010 9:51 AM

I hope they passed out marshmallows

Posted by: MikeMa | June 15, 2010 9:52 AM

Slow learners I think.

Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe | June 15, 2010 9:57 AM

it's only a "sign from god" when it agrees with their opinions.

Posted by: Erulóra (formerly KOPD) | June 15, 2010 9:58 AM

It's only a sign of God's anger when bad things happen to other people. When it happens to the believer, it's just chance. The other way around for good things. It's all very scientific.

Posted by: Celtic_Evolution | June 15, 2010 10:00 AM

When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a Touchdown Jesus on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest Touchdown Jesus in all of Ohio!

Posted by: lykex | June 15, 2010 10:01 AM

No, this isn't a sign. It's a test of faith. Do they have enough determination to build the damn thing AGAIN.
As many have pointed out, god never seems to tell the believers that they're wrong about anything.

Posted by: a2boy1der | June 15, 2010 10:02 AM

The damned thing looked like it was made out of butter. And now it looks like the creepy remains of what the monster was "really" made of in a B-grade horror movie.

If that's blasphemy, then may I be struck by lightn... oh, never mind.

Posted by: Logic H. Science! | June 15, 2010 10:06 AM

It was a sign from the Almighty Lord that 6 stories just wasn't tall enough. And they shouldn't have made it from flammable material in the first place. God don't like no shoddy work. Next time it'll be 10-stories tall and concrete. Guess they missed that whole idolatry/graven image thing...

Posted by: Moggie | June 15, 2010 10:07 AM

It was made of "styrofoam, wood and fiberglass resin", and it "burned very quickly, according to police". Well, duh! As a test of faith, I suggest they build the replacement out of straw, fireworks, and firelighters.

Posted by: Janine, The Little Top Of Venom, OM | June 15, 2010 10:08 AM

Ol'Greg, you did? That is very sad for you.

(Sorry, I just had to tease you for your little typo. Because this was a Chimpy story, we will just blame him you your typo.)

Posted by: spiderxray | June 15, 2010 10:10 AM

Noooooooooo! Not the Big Butter Jesus!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-ksuOaI61g

Posted by: browne.as | June 15, 2010 10:11 AM

Great. Now I have 'Plastic Jesus' stuck in my head.

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage | June 15, 2010 10:12 AM

Hah! I saw this headline on HuffPo, and my first thought was to come here!

Posted by: Holytape | June 15, 2010 10:13 AM

Is it me or does it look like Jesus was stuck in a tar pit? Maybe it's a deity trap, where one deity gets stuck and another god comes over to gloat or help and get itself stuck too. Maybe in a hundred thousand years, future paleontologists will not only find the bones of Jesus there, but also of Zeus and Thor.

Posted by: Michelle R | June 15, 2010 10:15 AM

Alright. When you build your giant idols out of flammable materials, you're just asking for trouble.

I think the thing costed a quarter million. I'm sure there were no charities that could've used that money! Nono. The church, FIGURE OF GOODNESS, prefered to have a giant Burning Man.

Posted by: Snitzels | June 15, 2010 10:16 AM

"It cost $250,000." --actually it cost $500,000, and that church really is going to rebuild it. I saw it on my commute this morning, a sad blackened frame, and no wonder, the storms here were magnificent last night! But they have lots of insurance and lots of spare cash, I'm sure Big Butter Jeebus will be back.. in 3 days if they're lucky, right? heheheh

Posted by: Sajanas | June 15, 2010 10:18 AM

Well, this is a lesson for all cheap tourist attractions. They are not "monuments", since at least Brazilian Jesus was made of enough concrete to stand up to some serious Zeus punishment. They're lucky the fire didn't take the rest of their shoddy establishment with it. It was terrible art too... Jesus looks more like how I picture Captain Ahab.

Posted by: lisainthesky | June 15, 2010 10:21 AM

ROFL - that totally cracks me up...

Both the actual Jebus burning and the fact that since they do believe in god, they can't see how angry god must be at them...Stupid christians...

Help me Jebus...

Posted by: Harry Tuttle | June 15, 2010 10:26 AM

Oh you poor benighted liberals. Can't you see what's going on?

Jesus was struck by lightning and destroyed. What's the Arabic word for 'lightning'? Barack. It's a plain sign from on high that Obama is planning on destroying Christianity in favor of Islamo-blaaaarghism.

Posted by: mattebo | June 15, 2010 10:29 AM

Wow! Thanks for this post. It certainly gave me chuckle. I used to drive past that thing everyday...living in Boston now I'm saved from that ugly peice of...butter. By the way there is a whole song by Heywood Banks about that "Big Butter Jesus." We always knew it as Touchdown Jesus though.

@jerthebarbarian - Ironically, if I remember correctly there is a mosque just up (down?) 75 not far from this thing...hmmm, yet no lightning struck it...it must be Satan! I think a giant butter Muhammad would be an interesting addition to Everyone Draw Muhammad Day

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | June 15, 2010 10:30 AM

There was a quote in the story, here it is:

It sent goosebumps through my whole body because I am a believer,” said Levi Walsh, 29. “Of all the things that could have been struck, I just think that that would be protected. ... It’s something that’s not supposed to happen, Jesus burning,” he said. “I had to see it with my own eyes.”

That pretty much says it all about believers. Yeah, that was Jesus burning, Levi, not a cheesy statue which was not just a monument to bad taste but an obscene waste of money, too. As for it something to be protected, I guess your god didn't think so and he rules everything. The cognitive dissonance is amazing to behold.

Posted by: bbgunn071679 | June 15, 2010 10:32 AM

That was a false jesus in Ohio. Besides not being well-grounded, he obviously couldn't walk on water either.

Posted by: Brian, Defender of Tone Trolls | June 15, 2010 10:35 AM

But they have lots of insurance and lots of spare cash, I'm sure Big Butter Jeebus will be back.. in 3 days if they're lucky, right? heheheh

Who the hell would insure THAT? You might just as well insure a christmas tree doused in petrol.

If they had insurance, I'm guessing their premiums are going up; especially if they insist on building another giant bonfire-in-waiting.

Posted by: Utakata | June 15, 2010 10:36 AM

Science 1; Jesus 0

Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites | June 15, 2010 10:39 AM

And yet the monument to Vulcan remains unscathed. Now's the time, if the theologians have any utility whatsoever, we should ask them to round up all their deities for questioning.

Posted by: o-p-e | June 15, 2010 10:40 AM

I think this simiple proves the supremacy of Catholic dogma. As others have mentioned the Brazilian Jesus is still standing. In addition, I am willing to bet some wealthy Notre Dame alumni and donors were upset that this "Touchdown Jesus" had usurped the title from the one at Notre Dame. They probably asked to school clergy to interceed and BAM lighting bolt burns down Butter Christ.

Posted by: raven | June 15, 2010 10:44 AM

God hates fundie xians. He is always smiting their heartland with tornados, hurricanes, oil spills, flash floods and so on.

They never, ever catch on. "Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mindless."

Posted by: Sal Bro | June 15, 2010 10:47 AM

#20:

It's always a great day for atheists; after all, how many giant atheist monuments have ever been struck by lightning?

Our monuments get struck about 8 million times each day.

Posted by: Citizen of the Cosmos | June 15, 2010 10:51 AM

So now we know what Thor thinks?

Posted by: Carlie of the lacy, gently wafting adjectives | June 15, 2010 10:54 AM

Why is Jesus so many times bigger than his cross? Was he one of those squished sponges that gets bigger in water?

Posted by: bbgunn071679 | June 15, 2010 10:55 AM

Eamon Knight @ #56
I read that Mr. Kincaid was just busted for DUI out in CA. His 'artistic' muse is revealed.

Posted by: Brian, Defender of Tone Trolls | June 15, 2010 10:58 AM

Would be much better if they took the 250 large and fed some local kids & families for a few months.

A few MONTHS? That explains quite a lot actually.

Posted by: Andrew Hall | June 15, 2010 11:01 AM

Zeus:1
Jesus:0

Jesus can suck it!

http://laughinginpurgatory.blogspot.com/2010/06/christians-of-southeastern-states-unite.html

Posted by: Creature of the Universe | June 15, 2010 11:02 AM

aahhh...now that's what I call a BURNT offering!!

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawk8Er0xHwr5oQ2bWARUzonh6Ov_ijL0Dbw | June 15, 2010 11:05 AM

"There was quite a bit of audio equipment in the amphitheater they were using to prepare for their Fourth of July celebration," said Monroe Fire Chief Mark Neu. "They lost all that equipment." http://www.wcpo.com/dpp/news/region_north_cincinnati/monroe/king-of-kings-statue-destroyed-by-firequote

Hey, what happened to the separation of church and state? Why did they have a big Fourth of July celebration planned, anyway?

Peg from Toledo
(who has seen Touchdown/Big Butter/Bath Tub Jesus many times traveling on I-75)

Posted by: BlueIndependent | June 15, 2010 11:06 AM

OK, I first saw this story at HuffPo, and in their pic it looks like the statue's on the ground. Here it's obviously surrounded by water. How good is your all-powerful savior if he can't be saved from fire while surrounded by water? I kid of course, and is there any fire code about having 6-story gawdy icons mere feet away from buildings that people inhabit throughout a day?

Posted by: Matt "Nora" Penfold | June 15, 2010 11:07 AM

What is it about US evangelical Christians that results in them having such bad taste ?

It cannot be the simple fact of being religious. One only needs to look at the great Cathedrals of Europe, or the music of Bach or the art of Michaelangelo to know that religious people can commission and produce great works.

Yet when it comes to the fundie Christians in the US there no evidence of any of that. It is almost as though they are competing with each other to produce the tackiest looking Church or statue.

Posted by: johnlil#0a224 | June 15, 2010 11:14 AM

I guess it would be a sign of insufficient faith to spend an extra thousand bucks this time to include lightning rods.
I eagerly await Pat Robertson's explanation for god's destruction of touchdown jesus. Probably something about gays.

Posted by: wheatdogg.myopenid.com | June 15, 2010 11:19 AM

Sajanas @35:
It was terrible art too... Jesus looks more like how I picture Captain Ahab.

It reminds me more of the guy on the Gorton's fish box.

I've seen this monstrosity while driving through Monroe. Hideous. I always thought it would be a lot more impressive if Jesus were nonchalantly standing on the water, instead of looking like he was going under.

Posted by: elronxenu | June 15, 2010 11:20 AM

It looks a lot like Terminator Jesus now.

Posted by: jay.sweet | June 15, 2010 11:23 AM

A 62-foot-high extremely flammable object? BRLLNT!

Posted by: Ben Goren | June 15, 2010 11:24 AM

Matt Penfold pondered:

What is it about US evangelical Christians that results in them having such bad taste ?

It cannot be the simple fact of being religious. One only needs to look at the great Cathedrals of Europe, or the music of Bach or the art of Michaelangelo to know that religious people can commission and produce great works.

Yet when it comes to the fundie Christians in the US there no evidence of any of that. It is almost as though they are competing with each other to produce the tackiest looking Church or statue.

Remember that, in the Renaissance, Christianity represented the pinnacle of intellectual achievement. And, besides, all the alternatives would result in you imitating the Touchdown Jesus.

So, all the smart people were Christians (along with everybody else, of course), and so everything they did got colored with the Jesus brush.

Today, you have to be dumb, or uncritical, or Machiavellian, or skilled at the art of doublethink to (publicly) buy into the Christian myth. (I mean, really? Virgins giving birth? Talking plants? Fish-belly condos?) So, the smart people have all left, and the ones creating Christian art (and “science”) are no longer the cream of the crop.

Another way of looking at it: before, great artists produced great art, which just happened to mostly have a Christian theme. Today, great artists produce great art, which has whatever themes speak to the artist (and, by the percentages, is very rarely Christian any more).

The artists producing Christian art are doing it to produce Christian propaganda; the art is a means to an end, and not an end in and of itself. Only talentless hacks do that sort of thing…with the results you observe.

Cheers,

b&

--
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
``All but God can prove this sentence true.''

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/CoxkKJE0ro_mSac3sNN0spZuE9c7BxOsLw--#9ee78 | June 15, 2010 11:25 AM

I'll believe that when there are simultaneous lightning strikes on every Kincaid Signature Gallery in the world.

http://articles.latimes.com/2010/jun/03/business/la-fi-kinkade-20100603

Posted by: Matt "Nora" Penfold | June 15, 2010 11:29 AM

Ben Goren said:

The artists producing Christian art are doing it to produce Christian propaganda; the art is a means to an end, and not an end in and of itself. Only talentless hacks do that sort of thing…with the results you observe.

There is clearly a lot of truth in what you say here, and in the rest of your post.

However in the C20th there were cathedrals built that have real merit. The Sagrada Família in Barcelona, or the Anglican Cathedral in Coventry and the Catholic Cathedral in Liverpool are all wonderful for example.

Posted by: Teshi | June 15, 2010 11:32 AM

For the people talking about the cost of the statue, there's a nice story in the Bible to illustrate why this isn't a problem.

Matthew 26:

6Now when Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, 7a woman came up to him with an alabaster flask of very expensive ointment, and she poured it on his head as he reclined at table. 8And when the disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, “Why this waste? 9For this could have been sold for a large sum and given to the poor.” 10But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me. 11For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me. 12In pouring this ointment on my body, she has done it to prepare me for burial. 13Truly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her.”

Screw the poor. What is done in the glory of God/Jesus is worth it. After all, there will always be poor people, and there's only one Jesus.

Posted by: Gus Snarp | June 15, 2010 11:33 AM

@palefury - It's easy to bemoan some use of funds as a total waste, and it is certainly troubling to use donations to a church for such a purpose (I mean, at least build a real statue), but this did provide construction jobs, jobs at the styrofoam, steel, and fiberglass plants, etc. that fed working families. Sure it's a waste, but it did feed people.

Posted by: Erulóra (formerly KOPD) | June 15, 2010 11:36 AM

I wonder if we can get some good high-resolution images of Flaming Jesus. That would be a nice wallpaper for the laptop.

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/fMMCZL4voNVxA.3VR0DSDg8depqmb8.ALw--#e1b10 | June 15, 2010 11:40 AM

Maybe god doesn't know about photoshop and thought the following pic was real and got pissed at jebus

http://www.flickr.com/photos/evodevo_mike/4694401400

Posted by: Snitzels | June 15, 2010 11:42 AM

"Yet when it comes to the fundie Christians in the US there no evidence of any of that. It is almost as though they are competing with each other to produce the tackiest looking Church or statue."

Oh come on now, it's right next to TRADER'S WORLD flea market! Anything more tasteful would have been completely out of place! http://www.tradersworldmarket.com/

Posted by: Gus Snarp | June 15, 2010 11:48 AM

Here's a nice photo gallery of the burning Jesus. Not really high res, but you take what you can get:

Posted by: joyful reprobate | June 15, 2010 11:51 AM

It was all the boobs across the way at the Hustler shop. Everyone knows that natural disasters are caused by boobs! It must've finally gotten Jesus all hot 'n bothered...

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | June 15, 2010 11:57 AM

The church or whatever it is looks pretty nice, though. I guess they didn't check with the architect.

Much like the people who decided to destroy the view from the Cathedral of the North with a giant mosaic.

Posted by: mistereveready | June 15, 2010 12:00 PM

thats actually a catchy tune.

Posted by: pdferguson | June 15, 2010 12:01 PM

All hail Barbeque Jesus, the Extra Crispy Savior!

Posted by: Pierce R. Butler | June 15, 2010 12:05 PM

Back in the Good Ol' Days (before that atheistical rat bastard Benjamin Franklin), it was a running joke that God disapproved of various ecclesiastical policies, given the propensity of lightning to strike the most elevated pointy metallic object in a given area and the insistence of churches that their spires must be the highest in town and topped with iron crosses.

This became even funnier in the post-Renaissance period, when armies repeatedly borrowed cathedral basements to store very large quantities of gunpowder, thus earning multiple divine non-verbal (and non-subtle) parables on church-state separation.

The Touchdown congregation in Ohio is now gratefully digging into their wallets for another opportunity to continue the proud Christian tradition of refusal to learn from experience. We can only hope that if TD Jesus 2.0 includes a lightning rod, the whole flock will be expelled from their brethren for Franklinite heresy and lack of faith in the power of prayer.

(Me, I got no faith either, or I wouldn't be submitting this comment again after it apparently failed to post about 10 minutes ago. Apologies in advance for the potential double post...)

Posted by: NitricAcid | June 15, 2010 12:14 PM

Alright, PZ- fess up. Where were you when this so-called bolt of lightning hit?

Posted by: Qwerty | June 15, 2010 12:17 PM

Jesus was single and lived with his mother until his thirties. Yea, I always knew he was a big flamer!

Posted by: atul666 | June 15, 2010 12:21 PM

I can't quite figure out what Jebus is supposed to be doing in this statue. He's either describing the enormous catfish he created last weekend up at the lake, or he's begging for Mardi Gras beads.

Posted by: prostock69 | June 15, 2010 12:21 PM

I live 45 mins from that ugly monstrosity. Every time I drove by it to go to Cincinnati, I cringed with disgust. I was still in bed at 8:00 this morning when my husband called laughing his ass off to tell me the glorious news that the Butter Jesus got struck my lightening and burned to the ground last night. He totally made my day. I know this is evil, but my 9 year old daughter was laughing too. When she first saw Butter Jesus (after we moved to the area 3 years ago), she was speechless and then went on to give her opinion on how ridiculous it was. :) I'm raising such a blasphemous heathen!

Posted by: llewelly | June 15, 2010 12:25 PM

KOPD | June 15, 2010 10:16 AM:

"the giant Brazilian Jesus"
This always makes me picture Jesus in a bikini.

Posted by: CanadianChick | June 15, 2010 12:28 PM

Wow - why didn't I know about this when I was in Ohio in March?? I'll be in Cincinnati in August, maybe I should go on a field trip...

Posted by: llewelly | June 15, 2010 12:29 PM

Bill Baconhill | June 15, 2010 10:13 AM:

The big question is this: if this thing was up for YEARS, why did gawd decide just NOW to smite it?

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/CoxkKJE0ro_mSac3sNN0spZuE9c7BxOsLw--#9ee78 | June 15, 2010 12:37 PM

@Peg

The big mosque on the same side of I-75 is more than a hundred miles north of the late Touchdown Jesus.

Peg, I know about the one in Toledo. There's another one a bit south of Monroe. It's not nearly so high-profile. It's on the west side of I-75.

Posted by: The Devil's Chaplain | June 15, 2010 12:48 PM

"... giant idol is smitten by a bolt of lightning from heaven ..."

Do we know it wasn't the rath of Thor, or a prank by Loki?

My money's on Tlaloc.

~IANVS

Posted by: Larry | June 15, 2010 12:59 PM

The Stoopid! It burns!

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/SaqGVG0xvJEQVwURVamS3DTCdvov0BLhXK1jOsYPPJQ-#b4893 | June 15, 2010 1:05 PM

What we need now is a whole series of Lightning Rod Jesus sports official sculptures, all made of steel/aluminum, styrofoam and wood, all with good, solid grounds.

I'm thinking, "Illegal Procedure Jesus", "Offsides Jesus", "Personal Foul (Roughing the Passer) Jesus".

When they're done there, they can move on to basketball and baseball. "Strike Three Jesus," that sort of thing.

I'm partial to pro basketball... Was this "Three Point Jesus" or "Touchdown Jesus"? I can't tell. Maybe God prefers the NBA too, and was tired of people misinterpreting this statue's call...?

Maybe God is warning the Creation Museum? Do they have any well-grounded statues there?

By the way, people are having a ball with the Kinkade DUI at sacbee.com.

Posted by: hznfrst | June 15, 2010 1:13 PM

If you think this thing was an eyesore, google '200 foot crosses' to see how many of these even worse obscenities are being foisted on people for miles around.

There are several in Florida, at least one of them costing a *million dollars*, and some god-floggin' church in Houston plans to erect (pun intended) two of them right by a freeway! Aren't there any zoning laws in Bonerland?

Posted by: Scorpy1 | June 15, 2010 1:20 PM

That thunderstorm was a clear example of the atheist agenda at work.

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnG39uMFt69kwCKZ8DoxtmMCvmzr5chx94 | June 15, 2010 1:21 PM

Here's the odd thing: they're promising to rebuild it. You would think that it's a rather unambiguous sign when your giant idol is smitten by a bolt of lightning from heaven, erupts into an all-consuming conflagration, and burns to the ground that maybe Jehovah is a little bit fed up. Yet the Solid Rock Church plans to offend God again.

Me personally I find it especially unlikely that the Creator of all of the mighty universe would be living just a few thousand miles up in the air, shooting bolts of fire on things He dislikes.

Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites | June 15, 2010 1:28 PM

By the way, people are having a ball with the Kinkade DUI at sacbee.com.

That night he became the "Runner of Lights."

Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites | June 15, 2010 1:35 PM

"Touchdown Jesus" looks looked more like "about to catch a pass Jesus" if you ask me. It begs a photoshopped football insertion.

Odd that a non-Catholic church would opt for a statue in a classic "Hail Mary" pose.

Posted by: Moveable Type | June 15, 2010 1:41 PM

They built a Catholic church at Garforth in West Yorkshire about 50 years ago and it collapsed, so they rebuilt it on the same spot and it was shortly declared unsafe. So they got the message and built it about 40 yards to one side - it's still there.

So they did listen to what Dog wanted, eventually.

Posted by: sasqwatch | June 15, 2010 1:44 PM

From the article:

The statue was grounded, but for some reason it did not absorb the lightning strike.

Does this not strike anyone else as a bit odd? Physics fail anyone? It's like either the reporter or the Chief (it is not indicated) thinks that since grounding appliances is a good thingy, having a nice giant Touchdown Jeebus-in-a-pool well-grounded would protect it?

I see. The problem was the statue didn't "absorb" the lightning, and that's what caught it on fire. Check.

Posted by: Donnie B. | June 15, 2010 1:48 PM

Apparently we now have to invent a new game to replace rock/paper/scissors. Rock/Resin/Styrofoam? Not sure what beats what at this point. Help me out here.

Easy peasy. Resin coats rock, styrofoam soaks up resin, rock smashes styrofoam.

You know you have bad art when the burned-out skeleton is more attractive than the statue it previously supported.

Posted by: raven | June 15, 2010 1:54 PM

It looks like Quicksand Jesus finally met Art Critic Jesus.

Posted by: RLFoster | June 15, 2010 2:04 PM

I know what the insurance company will tell them: It was an act of god and we ain't paying out nothing!

Posted by: JohnM55 | June 15, 2010 2:07 PM

Being agnostic rather than atheist this makes me think that if a god exists then s/he/it has some taste.

Posted by: Bone Oboe | June 15, 2010 2:09 PM

It was made of "styrofoam, wood and fiberglass resin", and it "burned very quickly, according to police". Well, duh! As a test of faith, I suggest they build the replacement out of straw, fireworks, and firelighters.

Sounds as though they need to get to the book store, peruse "The Three Little Pigs" and skip right to the end; to learn of the best building material for their gaudy, graven image.

The better to withstand the Big Bad Bolt of Wrath from on high.

I'll crack, flash and buuuuurn your deity down.

There weren't any GOATS in that thing when it went up, were there?

Posted by: Ben Goren | June 15, 2010 2:13 PM

James, in that part of the country, it wouldn’t surprise me if all the members of the zoning commission were also members of the church….

b&
--
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
``All but God can prove this sentence true.''

Posted by: Abdul Alhazred | June 15, 2010 2:25 PM

@4

Atheist monument struck by lightning and survives!

http://icons-ecast.wunderground.com/data/wximagenew/g/GrahamF/4.jpg

Posted by: Epikt | June 15, 2010 2:29 PM

atul666:

I can't quite figure out what Jebus is supposed to be doing in this statue. He's either describing the enormous catfish he created last weekend up at the lake, or he's begging for Mardi Gras beads.

He's putting his carry-on into the overhead bin.

Posted by: gpm | June 15, 2010 2:42 PM

That made my day. Email the link to my wife and back to work. Oleo Lord!

Posted by: JohnnieCanuck | June 15, 2010 2:44 PM

And the Word was made Butter and the priests said "Spread the Word".

And lo it came to pass that the Word was clarified and did run, not walk, over the water.

And everyone downwind declared that the Butter must have been exceedingly rancid to have made such a poisonous stink.

Here endeth the Lesson.

Posted by: pixelfish | June 15, 2010 2:53 PM

I think it looks like it was made with paper mache and butcher paper. Poor maligned butter.

Posted by: matts30 | June 15, 2010 3:02 PM

Thor for sure.

Posted by: Evomonkey | June 15, 2010 3:05 PM

-Oh shit! Big Butter Jesus is on fire!
-Wait!!! Don't use water!!!
-Oh right. Where is Big Baking Soda Jesus?

Posted by: Don | June 15, 2010 3:19 PM

But look at those giant, nearby high-voltage power towers! How come the lightning went for poor Jesus and not for one of those?

Random coincidence? Or belligerent design?

Posted by: jcmartz.myopenid.com | June 15, 2010 3:41 PM

I suppose that even Yahweh was offended by such a statue.

Posted by: bbgunn071679 | June 15, 2010 3:48 PM

Wonder where we'd all be now if a certain self-described prophet/deity/messiah had been cremated 2000+ years ago?

Posted by: Aegis Linnear | June 15, 2010 3:52 PM

It was Isaac Asimov who said the greatest victory of science over religion was when churches started to put up lightning rods.

Looks like a retard thought he knew better, huh?

Posted by: fred c dobbs | June 15, 2010 3:59 PM

hey, isn't that custer's hometown?
little big horn anniversary coming up on june 25...
free leonard peltier

Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites | June 15, 2010 4:23 PM

Atheist monument struck by lightning and survives!

http://icons-ecast.wunderground.com/data/wximagenew/g/GrahamF/4.jpg

Abdul Alhazred's linked image reminded me of it, but nothing.beside.remains' comment #174 was a sign.

So, I believe it's magic.

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/SaqGVG0xvJEQVwURVamS3DTCdvov0BLhXK1jOsYPPJQ-#b4893 | June 15, 2010 4:28 PM

But look at those giant, nearby high-voltage power towers! How come the lightning went for poor Jesus and not for one of those?

Random coincidence? Or belligerent design?

Well, I know it makes me a nerd to answer this question, but the correct answer is: Good electrical insulation. That's why people are confused about the Fire Chief's response.

TD Jesus was really well grounded. That's what you do when you want a lightning rod -- provide a good ground. Those electrical towers have really bad grounds, which is how you build a bad lightning rod.

The lightening "found" the shortest, easiest path to the ground -- TD Jesus's forehead.

Posted by: Eamon Knight | June 15, 2010 4:39 PM

@147:

Does this not strike anyone else as a bit odd? Physics fail anyone? It's like either the reporter or the Chief (it is not indicated) thinks that since grounding appliances is a good thingy, having a nice giant Touchdown Jeebus-in-a-pool well-grounded would protect it?

I'm not an expert, but my understanding of lightning protection is as follows: you want a nice heavy conductor from the highest point of the structure to ground, so that the current will pass down it and be dissipated in the earth. The structure doesn't "absorb" the bolt, the ground does. I would have thought that a steel frame sitting in water would have fulfilled this requirement quite adequately. However, we don't know the exact spot of ignition, and any gaps or high-resistance spots along the path will be sites of local heating, which could possibly start a fire in surrounding flammable material; eg. if there was no exposed metal at the point of the strike.

@154:

in American Football, that's the signal the referee gives when a touchdown (or field goal) is scored.

Oh ghods, they're actually riffing on a sports metaphor? These people are deliberately trying to make their religion look as tacky and ridiculous as possible, aren't they? I bet they've got a big-ass projection system in the sanctuary, and after the service they show whatever major sports event is running that Sunday afternoon (except World Cup soccer, 'cuz that's played by godless furriners).

Posted by: Birger Johansson | June 15, 2010 4:44 PM

Re: Pierce R. Butler @ 130, and rebuiling the statue.
Let us instead collect money to help some Jainist congregation build a temple in Ohio.
Background: the Jainist monks have to be stark naked (to avoid crushing insects that may be reincarnated humans). Imagine a dozen naked monks ouside their temple, in full view of the highway in the Bible Belt! It would be even better than a styrofoam Jesus in a thunderstorm...

Posted by: toth | June 15, 2010 4:48 PM

@91

And don't forget Jesus Christ, Superstar:

JUDAS: Woman, your fine ointment, brand new and expensive, could have been saved for the poor! Why has it been wasted? We could have raised maybe 300 silver pieces or more! People who are hungry, people who are starving matter more than your feet and hair!

JESUS: Surely you're not saying we have the resources to save the poor from their lot?! There will be poor always, pathetically struggling--look at the good things we've got! Think while you still have me! Move while you still see me! You'll be lost, you'll be so sorry when I'm gone!

(all from memory, booyah)

Posted by: SteveM | June 15, 2010 4:52 PM

re 187:

Well, I know it makes me a nerd to answer this question, but the correct answer is: Good electrical insulation. That's why people are confused about the Fire Chief's response.


TD Jesus was really well grounded. That's what you do when you want a lightning rod -- provide a good ground. Those electrical towers have really bad grounds, which is how you build a bad lightning rod

Not that simple. After all, before lightning rods, church steeples are very poor conductors and got hit regularly. Even in the vicinity of a lightning rod, they are finding that the "cone of protection" is not as protected as once thought.
For example, one person in a crowd in a sports stadium got hit by lightening and she was not the highest point, nor the "pointiest", nor any of the other qualities expected to make one a more likely target. Just because those towers look "close", doesn't mean they were close enough to attract the bolt away from Jesus. Lightening is a very complex phenomenon.

Posted by: Ring Tailed Lemurian | June 15, 2010 4:56 PM

Ah, so it's really the smell of burning kitsch that is a sweet savour to the Lord?

Posted by: Ichthyic | June 15, 2010 5:03 PM

Ah, so it's really the smell of burning kitsch that is a sweet savour to the Lord?

I think you may be on to something there, given the sheer amount of kitsch I tend to see in the homes of older religious folk.

seriously, my dad had a half-meter tall blue plastic-resin horse with glued-on styrofoam wings on his dining room table, and a collection of giant plastic fish on the kitchen counter.

...and I've seen worse.

Posted by: Ichthyic | June 15, 2010 5:08 PM

The example of the King James Bible is a perfect example of why translations are unreliable.

one could say the greek translations aren't reliable as well.

*shrug*

Anyway, I find it hilarious that such a central symbol can be completely bogus!

actually, what I find hilarious is that it was MADE such a central symbol, like the "fish", when it really had little to do with the supposed message.

ah, but people do like to worship icons, eh?

Indeed, I rather think that was the point of co-opting the fish symbol.

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/xnK7TG0Lo5mL8GKo5hytRqwpHvFihEl7Eat3.EjEEeCYqC8fHRcH#05c76 | June 15, 2010 5:11 PM

fred c. dobbs @ 183

hey, isn't that custer's hometown?
little big horn anniversary coming up on june 25...
free leonard peltier

That would be Monroe, Michigan.

Lithified Detritus

Posted by: Birger Johansson | June 15, 2010 5:25 PM

If the congregation has too little safety awareness to build a statue of inflammable materials, I find it surprising they do not go the full distance and include "snake handling" in their ceremonies, like they do in parts of Appalachia (yes, I know most of the Appalachians do not conform to the stereotypes, but snake handling persists). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_handling

Ichthyic @ 201; "ah, but people do like to worship icons, eh?" -Given the patriarchal and misogynic nature of worship, they should build a sixty-foot phallic symbol. It could double as a lightning rod for the whole town.

Posted by: SteveM | June 15, 2010 5:41 PM

re 201:

Indeed, I rather think that was the point of co-opting the fish symbol.

Fish play a relatively significant role in the new testament: most of the apostles were fishermen, the story of the loaves and fishes. Also, it is convenient that the "fish symbol" is also very similar to the greek lowercase "alpha" as in "I am the alpha and omega".

Posted by: truthspeaker | June 15, 2010 5:47 PM

Posted by: raven | June 15, 2010 10:59 AM

That certainly is an obnoxiously ugly statue

One might even say it is a graven image. What's that Second Commandment again? Thou shalt make no law abridging the right to keep and bear arms? No, that doesn't sound quite right...

Posted by: alareth | June 15, 2010 6:17 PM

And now it's time for God to shift targets and strike down the monstrosity that is the Statue of Liberation (Through Christ), a 72' replica of the Statue of Liberty with a cross and Ten Commandments replacing the torch and tablet in Memphis, TN.

Oh, from the second article at that link (bloding mine):

The unveiling of the statue received wide publicity, including coverage in the New York Times (Outreach Ministry: Mission Accomplished!). Statue of Liberty purists were quick to complain about the Christian augmentations to a sacred symbol of America. And a mega-church in Monroe, Ohio was caught off guard as this big green lady knocked aside their 62-ft. tall "Touchdown Jesus" as the Silliest Salute to the Almighty.

Posted by: Ichthyic | June 15, 2010 7:04 PM

Also, it is convenient that the "fish symbol" is also very similar to the greek lowercase "alpha" as in "I am the alpha and omega".

that, and this:

http://www.seiyaku.com/customs/fish/fish.html

just like the adoption of a late december date for celebrating "christ's birth" is a direct co-option of pagan celebration times, this was too.

it's obvious that xianity, the religion, was designed clearly to supplant earlier pagan religions, and help consolidate them under one "roof" so to speak.

boy did that backfire...

Posted by: Bone Oboe | June 15, 2010 8:03 PM

From #179

"Someone needs to tell the Ghostbusters."

Someone already has:

Posted by: Bone Oboe | June 15, 2010 8:06 PM

From #174, I meant...#174!
My apologies to "nothing.beside.remains" and "bbgunn071679".

Posted by: Bone Oboe | June 15, 2010 8:24 PM

Nerd of Redhead, OM.

Thanks!

Posted by: Lurker | June 15, 2010 8:42 PM

Rebuild? They've already pissed off Zeus once.

Foolish mortals.

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage | June 15, 2010 9:22 PM

Does the church's insurance include "acts of god"?

Posted by: Peter H | June 15, 2010 10:01 PM

"...One only needs to look at the great Cathedrals of Europe, or the music of Bach or the art of Michaelangelo to know that religious people can commission and produce great works."

This has already been pointed out as one of the very few attributes of the xian church's legacy which are redeeming and worthy of admiration in and of themselves. I can attest, for example, to the stunning solidness of Ely's oaken doors and the magic of its lantern.

If these besotted souls are actually to rebuild that caricature, could they possibly make it look a little more Jewish and a whole lot less like Kris Kristofferson?

Posted by: Crudely Wrott , Drinking Solo Since Death's Back On The Wagon | June 15, 2010 10:29 PM

That the statue burned so readily is because it is not only a good lightning rod but because it is such a poorly designed lightning rod.

See, the conductive parts, the steel armature, is totally encased in flammable material. Had an external conductor been provided the statue would still be standing. The tip of the conductor should be at the highest point of the statue, or any structure, and the grounding link should be electrically isolated from the structure or statue.

This could have easily been accomplished by consulting a worthy electrical engineer (a kind of scientist) and a bit of research on basic electrical theory and Ben Franklin.

Instead they created a lightning rod encased in some of the most flammable materials. The result? A high amperage stroke of lightning will ignore the thin coating of insulator around the armature and will complete a circuit to ground. In doing so the bolt heats the insulator that it passes through more than it heats the armature due to the higher resistance of the insulator.

A fire was inevitable. It was built in. After, I imagine, much prayer had been devoted to the original concept, the design, choice of contractors and anything else relevant. And this is the result.

Prayer. It hasn't a prayer.

Posted by: atomjack | June 15, 2010 10:49 PM

Ah,the sweet smell of burning styrofoam! j/k, One of the products of styrofoam combustion is hydrogen cyanide (if they used chlorofluorocarbons to expand the foam, admittedly out of use for a few years). So, ya gots yer toxic flaming jebus. That was totally bad construction...but great destruction. I just hope the wind was blowing mightily, as well, to disperse/dilute the toxic smoke from the locals. It really would be nice to spend the fool's money helping the local poor instead of making yet another abomination.

Posted by: Wowbagger, Man-Hating Man of Pharyngula | June 15, 2010 10:51 PM

"Jesus is always willing to sacrifice himself for the church."

This is something the Christians always get wrong. He never 'sacrificed' himself for anything; he experienced a temporary inconvenience before ascending to an eternity in paradise.

Put into perspective that's no more a sacrifice than my taking a crap is.

Posted by: atomjack | June 15, 2010 10:53 PM

Crudely! Shush! Don't let out the way to make the next one last longer! Think of the children!

Posted by: woozy | June 15, 2010 11:22 PM

Pedestrian, man. I mean pedestrian.

Well, true. But among the umptillian stories of hallelluah I survived the disaster while millions parish and our snarky, hah, surely God hates that statue (actually, there was one idiot who did say she commented during the storm how awesome it was because it was God demonstrating what he is capable of but when it struck the statue she was all gee god what are ya doin') comments, the pastor's comments are a verbal touche.

This is something the Christians always get wrong. He never 'sacrificed' himself for anything; he experienced a temporary inconvenience before ascending to an eternity in paradise.

Yeah, that always bugged me a bit too. And burning down a statue of oneself isn't a sacrifice either. And having said statue act as a lighting rod isn't Jesus directing the lightning to himself either. And...

Sigh. Remember Judas in "The Last Temptation of Christ"? Christ describes his role as savior is the easier job than the betrayer. It was supposed to show Christ's ironic compassion, but I always figure Jr. dies on the cross but then ascends to be king of heaven forever while Judas has to do everything to put it in motion and at the cost of his name being vilified forever. He did have the harder job.

Posted by: Crudely Wrott , Drinking Solo Since Death's Back On The Wagon | June 15, 2010 11:28 PM

Yeah, Peter H. The reactions of some of the herd of cows faithful are . . . I don't know . . . riveting. Some really seem to think, or, their recorded testimonies seem to indicate, that Jesus really burned last night.

My observation that some claim he meant to and some claim it was a terrible accident finds no illumination in the declarations of those so deeply affected. Again, sigh.

Posted by: woozy | June 15, 2010 11:37 PM

"honestly, the fish was THIS big"

Well, he is the fisher of men...

*drops the straight-line and sits back and waits...*

Posted by: Crudely Wrott , Drinking Solo Since Death's Back On The Wagon | June 15, 2010 11:46 PM

Woozy: ". . . while millions parish . . ."
To parish . . . is that like, gathering together to worship and whip up some kind of frenzy?

Large grins to Bone Oboe. I went through an authentic schism once. I was one of those who left. Funny, I can't remember the details. Had something to do with women teaching the Word. But I did meet some unforgettable people. Like Bruce Todd. I swear he was a clone of (shit! anomia strikes) the guy who did War of the Worlds and Citizen Kane. Bruce had a valuable talent despite his compulsive relation to biblical teaching: he could whip up a bowl of guacamole that would have Pilate cutting Jesus down if that was the only way to have some more.

Really. Bruce's resemblance to wassname was uncanny. Surely powers unknown were at work. ;->

Posted by: Bone Oboe | June 16, 2010 12:02 AM

Crudely W., who do I need to to dispatch for a bowl of this guacamole?

Say the word and Orson Wells will get it. I'll just get the Way Back Machine up to 88 mph, set it to, oh, around 1984 or so and do the deed.

Does that come with chips or will they cost extra?

Posted by: Crudely Wrott , Drinking Solo Since Death's Back On The Wagon | June 16, 2010 12:18 AM

Orsen Wells!!!! Thank you, Bone O.

(You can't imagine (or possibly can) how frustrating it is to know just exactly what you want to name but simply cannot say it on demand. I would have named the name of Orsen Wells within a few minuets (probably while thinking of something else) but at the time I posted memory of names was blank.)

As for the guac, alas. Dear dead Orsen is now accompanied by dear dead Bruce and the recipe is not at hand. I do think, however, that the talent was less in the ingredients and more in the preparation. I observed a certain . . . reverence . . . when he mixed it all together. Similar to his devotion to the promotion of Christ. He was good at both. May he rest well.

As a consolation prize I will pass on any outstanding guac recipe post haste to this very venue.

Posted by: Bone Oboe | June 16, 2010 12:31 AM

Crudely @ #245:

(You can't imagine (or possibly can) how frustrating it is to know just exactly what you want to name but simply cannot say it on demand.

In my first year of junior high, we'd read and then watched an animated (Strangely enough, narrated by none other than Orson Wells. Divine intervention? Nah, just kidding.) version of Kipling's "Rikki Tikki Tavi" over the course of a day or so. And at the end, I could not for the life of me recall what sort of animal "Rikki" was.
I distinctly recall being unable to sleep thinking:
"Otter? No. Ermine? No. Ferret? No. Weasel? No..." And on and on I went through the small, furry cylindrical critters that I could think of until arriving, triumphantly at mongoose. Then and only then was a able to sleep.

Posted by: Crudely Wrott , Drinking Solo Since Death's Back On The Wagon | June 16, 2010 12:52 AM

@247: Rikki Tikki Tavi is one of my all time favorites. Nice to hear that you recall it (fondly?) too.

Your experience is close to mine. You would think that a specie that can come up with names for (literally) everything could at least remember them. That you did, only after prolonged effort, remember the name is testament to some sort of mental rigor.

In my case it is better to stop trying to remember. That is, deep in my ancient brain stem a network (inner InnerTubes) of neurons eventually teases out the vocalization and the spelling of the name I am looking for.. Funny how that works considering I have vivid memories of incidents before the age of three. I can even recall a memory of nursing at Ma's breast. And yet I can walk into a roomful of familiar people and fail to name a third of them. Right now. In a little while I'll blurt it out.

" . . . furry cylindrical critters . . . " Ha ha ha, yes, bless you, I loves me some little round ones too. Usta have them all around; now not so much. Miss 'em.

Posted by: bobdelany | June 16, 2010 1:09 AM

Has anyone provided a satisfactory answer to whether it was Thor or Zeus who smote Jesus?

Posted by: Bone Oboe | June 16, 2010 1:22 AM

Crudely, I indeed recall it fondly. I was equally pleased to learn, upon looking it up on IMDB to get my particulars straight, that the animated version to which I (fondly) referred was done by Chuck Jones. I've got six volumes of Looney Tunes and a disc (or two, I can't recall how many were in there; 2, it's two now that I've got up and had the thing in my hands) of Tom & Jerry that were his handiwork.

"In my case it is better to stop trying to remember"

That's usually my policy as well, but much of the time it rankles and I divert some portion of my inner-attention to dwelling on the matter at hand, sometimes resulting in the solution to my quandary within a couple of days of my initial befuddlement. If not, I find myself thinking of off the wall, random things like "mongoose" or "The Basement of The Alamo" at inopportune moments, like coming up to a red light or "Please hold still while I take this x-ray." Though the latter is a recently developed scenario and the former only happened once (happily, thus far.) and not whilst pondering the nature of snake eating weasle-ish things, but of what to eat for lunch; for I was bereaved of breakfast at the time.

"Little Round ones"?
At the moment, I'm beset by hounds, 5 of various (at least two of spurious) descent, but I wonder what little round ones of which you speak. Cats, perhaps? I've (in the Cartesian sense) no quarrel with the feline. Though the vessel in which my theatre goer rides tends towards the itchy eyes, and congested sinuses in the presence of the Cat.

Thanks much for reading & enjoying my words. It pleases me to be able to provide someone in this medium with "Large Grins" as you put it.

Posted by: Crudely Wrott , Drinking Solo Since Death's Back On The Wagon | June 16, 2010 1:57 AM

"Little round ones" are the young of all kinds, Bone.

I have been attendant at the birth of most common mammals, mice to dogs to cattle and horses. Also of reptiles, amphibians, arthropods and more flowers and vegetables than I can recall. From me they are all accorded something like reverence; not a feeling of personal diminishment (them or I); more a kind of gratitude to actually have a nurturing and protective instinct when new life is beginning. I feel obliged somehow while simultaneously feeling privileged. That sits well with me.

They're all round. They're all little. And they all struggle mightily in the first moments of life much as we did. Sometimes, while observing something making a living, some real life incident or a video, et cetera, I grin and say to myself, "Look. They're just like little guys." That is, the difference between us and them is negligible. There is a unity.

And so, good night. Morning is already early.

Posted by: Midnight Rambler | June 16, 2010 2:15 AM

Every guacamole recipe I've seen uses lime juice, not lemon. Finely chopped onion and tomato are also important parts.

Posted by: Colin | June 16, 2010 4:20 AM

In the Middle Ages, cathedrals used to fall down. Not many, admittedly, but still, if that didn't stop 'em, nor will this...sigh.

Posted by: Stardrake | June 16, 2010 9:18 AM

Uh, pedantry point:

It's Orson WELLES. (The "E" must have its day!)

Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | June 16, 2010 9:48 AM

As far as I can tell, Weed Monkey, the two most important ingredients are the avocados and the lemons. I'm guessing the rest is whimsy. Of the three, I'd pay most attention to the avocado. Whimsy is an important ingredient in any recipe, and lemon is like sallt.Lime in essentially every recipe I've ever seen is the citrus of choice. Not that using lemon is bad, but I always use lime and have only seem lime as the choice elsewhere save a very few recipes.

Properly ripe avocados
Lime juice
Lots of salt
Cilantro

If you're feeling spicy, some chipotle powder and or cumin, but that's not necessary or "traditional" (whatever that means).

/waits for the anti-cilantro because it tastes like soap because I have fucked up taste buds brigade to speak up

/ducks

Posted by: Carlie of the lacy, gently wafting adjectives | June 16, 2010 9:57 AM

More of a channel marker and earthquake monitor than a god.

Earthquake monitor? If it falls down, there was an earthquake?

Posted by: co | June 16, 2010 10:16 AM

My grandfather's recipes from Venezuela all included vodka in the guac; the other main ingredients were: avocados (of course); green onions; lime juice; hard-boiled eggs (don't knock it 'til you've tried it); green olives; black pepper.

Posted by: co | June 16, 2010 10:27 AM

OK, maybe not super. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=98695984

Posted by: stubotics | June 16, 2010 12:21 PM

#20 says: ...how many giant atheist monuments have ever been struck by lightning?

I wish to build an atheist lightning rod monument in my back yard, that it may be struck repeatedly.

Posted by: Hirnlego | June 16, 2010 1:54 PM

http://www.cynical-c.com/images/YMCAJesus.jpg
That is all

Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | June 16, 2010 3:22 PM

Where do I sign up to be able to blame typos on Rev. Big Dumb Chimp?

No need to sign up.

Hurl all your blame my way, I feed on it.

I think tonight is a grilled hanger Blame steak with chimicurri

Posted by: woozy | June 16, 2010 6:50 PM

Okay, just re-read Cyan's post #244. Valid point but I was under the impression (my subjective of course) the helios statue was a bit like building the a large sports stadium, or a tall skyskraper. It has a practical purpose, but als primarily a work to symbolize the city's importance. I don't disagree with your evaluation, but I'm not sure impressing others with one's belief was nescessarily part of it.

http://www.cynical-c.com/images/YMCAJesus.jpg; he obviously couldn't walk on water either.; "honestly, the fish was THIS big"

Did anyone ever take a photo of someone tossing the poor water-treading Jesus a life-ring?

Posted by: AnthonyK | June 16, 2010 7:18 PM

the two most important ingredients are the avocados and the lemons. I'm guessing the rest is whimsy

My grandmother swears by it. She stands there next to the still-moist heap saying "fucking foreigners."