…and this is a 
Here's my status right now, for those who have been wondering.
First of all, I'm not dead yet. Let's get that out of the way.
Yesterday morning was the big event here in hospital-land: I was to get an angiogram, this procedure where they thread wires up your femoral artery to you heart and start poking around with dyes and things to figure out what's going on. You're conscious, mostly, through the procedure, so thought I'd live-blog it, if I could, but it turns out they don't want you monkeying around with anything while the doctors are examining you from the inside out, and there were going to be occasional sprays of x-rays, and I was going to be on some mind-altering drugs. So I resolved to use my keen scientific mind to observe and report back later on what it was like.
They wheeled me in and a nice nurse named Phil leaned over me and told me he was going to put some drugs in my IV that would make me drowsy, which was silly — it was 8am, I was wide awake — but he gave them to me anyway. Then someone else appeared on my right side and shaved my pubic hair. Not everything — he left me a short wide rectangular patch for a landing strip that looked like Hitler's mustache…and then I noticed that Hitler had a very large nose and two big pink hairy eyeballs, and that kept me amused for about 10 minutes. I think that was my last lucid thought. (Well, it seemed lucid at the time.)
The Jawas came in. They might have been doctors, but they were all covered in robes and hoods and speaking animatedly in some language that wasn't Englisth — it was very buzzy and abrupt. They didn't talk to me anyway, but sometimes told Phil things that he would translate for me. They descended on my right thigh and proceeded to build an airlock so they could crawl inside and party on my left ventricle. I tried to tell them that the Left Ventricle was not some trendy nightclub — it's just a storage unit where I keep my Jesus-shaped hole — but I think what came out of my mouth was a kind of mumbly moan in Ewok, and everone knows Jawas don't understand Ewok.
And giant cameras just glided by majestically on motorized trackways above my head.
It hurt quite a bit, in a very remote, distracted, distant way, especially then the anaconda in my leg writhed awkwardly, but I was mostly unperturbed. I actually fell asleep a few times.
Then Phil's giant head floated into view — I think it was mounted on one of the camera tracks—and he announced, "Good news! No cabbage for you!", which was very cheering, since I don't particularly care for cabbage. And then the Jawas stomped on my heart for another hour or so. While I napped.
Later, after the cotton swabbing drained out of my cranium, I realized it was very good news. The threat hanging over me was an angiogram followed by chest-cracking and open heart surgery and prolonged pain, but the clever doctors had looked me over and decided they could patch me up with set of stents instead of that elaborate bypass surgery. Yay, doctors! It's the difference between 8 weeks of ouchy hurty messy convalescence and less than two weeks of taking it easy.
The last fun bit was when they had to strip the hoses from my thigh, which involved a quick yank and then a doctor with very large strong hands holding my naked thigh in a death grip for half an hour. I tell you, that's a very awkward situation for small talk.
So, I might be getting out today. They're doing more tests, checking out my kidneys (which had a lot of extra work to do clearing out the contrast dye). Right now, my life consists of lying abed while a pretty nurse comes by every hour and says, "I need to see your groin!", whips off my skimpy robe, and coos about how good it looks. I think she's probably talking about my bloody wound, not anything else (and I hope it's not because she's a fan of Adolf Hitler caricatures!)
But soon enough I'll be off to resting at home, beginning the cardio therapy the doctor will no doubt be putting me on, and back to classes and writing. Expect blogging to be on the light side, though, while I catch up on rest and other pressing projects that were interrupted by this surprise event.
Medicine & Health
Comments
Posted by: Brian English
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August 25, 2010 8:54 AM
You do realise that by making your posts so humorous, it removes any opportunity for decent gallows humour? Spoilsport!
Posted by: te24hours
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August 25, 2010 8:54 AM
So sort of a Drunk's-Eye-View of the stent procedure? Interesting. I had no idea George Lucas was so heavily involved.
Mmmm.....Hitler genitals.
Posted by: john.s.wilkins
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August 25, 2010 8:56 AM
I'm very pleased. We need you to criticise from the Agnostic perspective. Did you undertake the correct Satanic rituals and nail any crackers?
Posted by: Whiskeyjack
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August 25, 2010 8:56 AM
I am very glad to hear you're alright.
Posted by: sidheag
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August 25, 2010 8:58 AM
Very glad to read this update. I hope you can now take it easy (and prepare to get fit...)
Posted by: Aegis Linnear
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August 25, 2010 8:59 AM
Go PZ! You unkillable Hitler-bollocked beardmongering legend you. They can't even stop you with a snake in your leg.
Posted by: Lynna, OM
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August 25, 2010 9:00 AM
LOL. I like PZ-on-drugs. And, of course, a humorous take on male genitals, from a male, is always refreshing.
Posted by: hyperdeath
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August 25, 2010 9:00 AM
So you won't be getting some kind of Iron-Man style chest implant then?
Posted by: The Science Pundit
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August 25, 2010 9:01 AM
They obviously don't read your blog! Hitler??? They should've given you a Cthulhu tallywacker.
Glad to hear that you're fine.
Posted by: gardenguy.myopenid.com
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August 25, 2010 9:01 AM
Been there, done that.
You might enlighten us fans with more specific stent placement information. Mine was 2/3 down the LAD (left anterior descending, aka widow maker).
Also curious as to what brought the problem to your attention (pain, unusual loss of breath, general lethargy (how the hell would you recognize lethargy?!?!).
Or, less humor, "just the facts ma'm"......
More exercise, less meat and you'll be fine.
Carry on.
Posted by: blockhead
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August 25, 2010 9:05 AM
PZ,
Congrats! You LUCKED OUT big time. The angiogram and stents is way better then the quadruple "cabbage" (coronary artery bypasses) I had five years ago.
At my hospital, if the angiogram (which is primarily a diagnostic procedure) showed you need more then 2 or 3 stents, they don't do them, instead going to the knife. I was over the angiogram in 2-3 days, and got the surgery a week later. I was laid up for a good four weeks, and slowed down greatly for six months.
So, take your statins and blood pressure meds, eat healthy and walk-exercise and you should be good to go another few years.
Posted by: opposablethumbstoo
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August 25, 2010 9:05 AM
Bloody hell, you make even this ordeal sound funny.
Thank you - if that doesn't sound too weird!
Good to know you'll soon be back to full strength (not that you seem to be below par now!)
Posted by: mrpendent
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August 25, 2010 9:05 AM
You're not fooling anyone, you know.
Glad you're doing well, PZ.
Posted by: J-Dog
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August 25, 2010 9:05 AM
WATCH OUT FOR THE FOLLOW UP! My wife had to go back 2 times with further blockage, and it was discovered through stress tests, so make sure you schedule them.
^End of preachy lesson^
Congratulations, and great post BTW!
Posted by: Stephen Wells
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August 25, 2010 9:06 AM
(A) Congratulations PZ on your continued survival.
(B) Congratulations to your highly skilled surgical team for managing to rearrange portions of your heart through your leg without killing you.
(C) Funniest surgery report EVER. Put it in the book!
(D) Now you can write the book, right?
(E) Do you have a status report prepared which begins "Firstly, I am dead"?
Posted by: MsAnnThrope
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August 25, 2010 9:06 AM
Great to hear you're not dead!
Your POV writing has gotten really fantastic though, or maybe you're still pretty hopped up on pain meds- either way, brilliantly scripted post.
Posted by: dinkum
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August 25, 2010 9:07 AM
Thank you, PZ.
My father has a ticket for this same ride on Friday, and seeing you come through it with your wit fully intact helps immensely with the Freakout Factor.
Posted by: toomanytribbles
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August 25, 2010 9:09 AM
thank goodness!!
Posted by: JackC
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August 25, 2010 9:11 AM
Right... Big Nose. (Sorry. Someone had to do it.)
Congrats and welcome back.
JC
Posted by: Steve LaBonne
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August 25, 2010 9:11 AM
Wow, you did get off easy compared to having your chest cracked. But if you needed stentS, plural, it's clear why they were in a hurry to get you into the hospital. Congratulations and get well soon! (Note to self, don't forget to take pravastatin pill tonight...)
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp
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August 25, 2010 9:11 AM
Have you told Phil thank you?
Any way I hate to laugh at your situation but that was good for at least 2 or 3 good Muttley styled snickers and maybe one guffaw.
Glad all went well so far.
Posted by: Chuck
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August 25, 2010 9:12 AM
Just in case some are confused by the "cabbage" reference: CABG is short for "coronary artery bypass graft."
Glad you didn't need one.
Chuck
Posted by: Cappy
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August 25, 2010 9:14 AM
So glad to hear you're OK. Make good use of your convalescence. Best to your family who are probably stressed as well.
Happy Monkey!
Posted by: austinfilm
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August 25, 2010 9:15 AM
Pics or it didn't happen.NO! JUST KIDDING!
Posted by: sphex
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August 25, 2010 9:15 AM
Thrilled to hear it went well.
Also, pleased as punch to be laughing at your writing again- as soon as I read "First, I'm not dead" I felt a tight knot in my heart loosen. I was worrying about you.
And yes, please do include this status report in the book!
Posted by: spicersh
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August 25, 2010 9:15 AM
Glad you're ok! Am I the only one thinking about Pinocchio doing an impression of Hitler now?
"Look, he lying again!"
Posted by: davelnewton
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August 25, 2010 9:16 AM
Speedy recovery!
Posted by: Mattir-ritated
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August 25, 2010 9:16 AM
I'm not sure I should let my kids come to Skepticon, now that they're going to have the Genital Hitler™ image in mind when they think of PZ. But at least I can call DaughterSpawn off the cross-stitched Puppies of Doom™ now.
Very very glad for your good sense to take that first warning sign so seriously.
Posted by: mmelliott01
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August 25, 2010 9:16 AM
Oh, that's bad. Very bad. See, what's going to happen now is that in a short time you will be wheeled out of the hospital in a chair, and just as you reach the outer door you will suddenly begin spurting blood from your ears, eyes, nose and naughty holes. They will spend another two weeks desperately trying to figure out what's wrong with you before they finally get it right. In the process you will receive new kidneys, heart, appendix and chin.
Yes, I have been watching House, MD on Netflix. Why do you ask?
Posted by: Gordy
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August 25, 2010 9:16 AM
Nice one, PZ! My praise and thanks to your... medical team ;)
Shall we have a sweep on how long it takes before some outraged creationist claims that PZ Myers' genitalia are Hitler reincarnate?
Posted by: amc
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August 25, 2010 9:18 AM
I'm glad to hear that you're doing well; I was thinking about you all day. Not that you know who the fuck I am, but cheers from New Zealand PZ.
Posted by: ForgotMyGingko
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August 25, 2010 9:18 AM
Brilliant. Here's to a speedy recovery and less-exciting life of medical emergencies.
Posted by: FossilFishy
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August 25, 2010 9:18 AM
Hooray!
Posted by: Rachel Bronwyn
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August 25, 2010 9:18 AM
Phil sounds nice.
It's a good day when you don't have to experience what it is to cough or sneeze after having one's chest opened.
Posted by: jaranath
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August 25, 2010 9:18 AM
Oh, very Happy Monkey! :)
But I must ask...: "No cabbage for you?"
Posted by: momkat
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August 25, 2010 9:19 AM
Thanks for the perspective. I'm up for the same procedure next week and it's freaking me out.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 25, 2010 9:19 AM
What? No picture of you in your short gown drolling on your pillow? Spoilsport!
You are obviously doing better. Expect your Trophy Wife™ to crack the whip to get you to follow the rehabilitation instructions. Time to list to She Who Must Be Obeyed.
Posted by: Dianne
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August 25, 2010 9:20 AM
Yay to not dead, not stroked out, not...maybe I'll just stop here since this might not be your last encounter with an interventional cardiologist. Are you on some good drugs to keep your blood from clotting in the stents and/or in your leg while you lie on your back for a few hours?
And the nurses are talking about your lack of complication, not admiring your...equipment. Sorry, but after you've seen a certain number of nasty complications, an uncomplicated case is the most beautiful thing in the world.
Posted by: Rachel Bronwyn
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August 25, 2010 9:20 AM
"Cabbage" is a nickname given to coronary artery bypass graft or CABG. No cabbage is a good thing.
Posted by: Tim Harris
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August 25, 2010 9:21 AM
Congratulations! But, PZ, I have the feeling - perhaps wrongly - that you spend rather too much time working and Pharyngulating and not enough relaxing and having exercise. If my feeling is correct, then I think we should all be happy doing with fewer posts every day... Blogs aren't easy, and they can start to take up all of your time... If I'm wrong or being impertinent, I'm sorry, but I do think that proper exercise is very important. All good wishes.
Posted by: KG
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August 25, 2010 9:22 AM
Great to hear from you, PZ - and a great post! Now all the male Pharyngulites will be considering what caricature they could generate by partially shaving their pubes!
Posted by: Steve LaBonne
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August 25, 2010 9:23 AM
Seriously, what Tim Harris said. Taking proper care of yourself is no longer optional or something to be postponed until it's convenient. But you know that.
Posted by: John Pieret
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August 25, 2010 9:25 AM
I was luckier, in some ways, having slept through it all, though I could have used the blog material.
Glad it all went well!
Posted by: Tim Harris
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August 25, 2010 9:27 AM
I've just been through a somewhat similar procedure for atrial flutter - though without anything to make me woozy: I hummed Shetland, Irish and English folk-tunes throughout as they cauterized bits of the heart's interior (it's not painless, as it is advertised as being). Because of this flutter I'd got rather chary about exercising, but it's bloody important. Here endeth the lesson.
Posted by: SQB (fuck death)
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August 25, 2010 9:27 AM
I hope you have a good and speedy recovery!
Posted by: Zeno
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August 25, 2010 9:28 AM
Yay! PZ is back (sort of almost)!
Posted by: vksperr
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August 25, 2010 9:29 AM
Glad to hear you're on the mend, and thanks for the caution for all of us of a "certain age."
Posted by: Big Boppa
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August 25, 2010 9:31 AM
KG @41
Sometimes shaving isn't necessary. I, unfortunately, have been going quite gray of late so Mr. Johnson is starting to look more like an elderly Dr. Einstein these days.....
Oh, and PZ, speedy recovery. I'm sure there are a lot of disappointed "Good Christians" out there.
Posted by: JJ
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August 25, 2010 9:32 AM
Glad to hear all went well, and you are on the mend. Glad theose scientists have all that medical training!
Posted by: Seamyst
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August 25, 2010 9:32 AM
Glad you're doing well (though maybe still on some drugs?), and I thoroughly enjoyed your take on the procedure.
Posted by: PZ Myers
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August 25, 2010 9:33 AM
I didn't tell you the funniest part. Before the angio, the doctor was nice enough to reassure me that there was a less than 1% chance of dying during the procedure. Mary looked so stressed out at that fact that I forced myself to refrain from laughing out loud. At my age, living has a better chance of killing me each year than that. I really can't fret over the odds of anything, except to always pick the best bet.
Posted by: jaranath
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August 25, 2010 9:33 AM
Rachel: Thanks! My new fact for the day.
Posted by: Ewan R
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August 25, 2010 9:34 AM
Awesome news.
We all also now know that whenever your time does come you will undergo a deathbed conversion.
Into one of the funniest comic writers on being at death's door.
Completely contradicts the phrase "there are no stand up comedians in foxholes"
Posted by: conelrad
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August 25, 2010 9:34 AM
Excellent news from Minnesota. & also,
what Tim Harris said.
Posted by: Yoav
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August 25, 2010 9:34 AM
Congratulation and welcome back. And to offset your disappointment over the cute puppy pictures from a couple of days ago you may want to check the cyborg octopus on the Weizmann Institute blog .
Posted by: Greg Laden
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August 25, 2010 9:35 AM
Pictures?
Actually, some of those sleepy meds do interesting things to .... well, never mind. Never mind what I said about the pictures too.
No chest cracking is indeed excellent news. I hope you write a blog post about the experience. (The post you think you wrote, above, is just another hallucination.)
Posted by: LaurenceH86
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August 25, 2010 9:35 AM
Very happy it was successful. Heres to Phil and the Jawas!
Posted by: somelamer567
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August 25, 2010 9:35 AM
Had to delurk to wish you a speedy recovery. All the best, PZ, and hope you'll keep the Pharangulation going for years to come.
Posted by: Dianne
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August 25, 2010 9:36 AM
"Cabbage" is a nickname given to coronary artery bypass graft or CABG.
Angiography, OTOH, is sometimes calle PTCA or "pizza". So PZ had pizza not cabbage.
Posted by: gawdmail
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August 25, 2010 9:36 AM
I knew assiduously not praying would work. You can thank me later.
Posted by: Paulo
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August 25, 2010 9:42 AM
I don't care what anyone else says.
Today is the day when hospital humour was really born.
Speedy recovery, PZ.
~note to self: stop wishing for PZ to undergo more elaborate medical procedures and write about them. That's just wrong~
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawk8nuEGr2AboPw3B5JlVHLruh87cSf2gi4
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August 25, 2010 9:43 AM
Less cutting is always better. Particularly for Mary. Her heart has to be beating a little more easily too. :) We are chuffed to hear of your successful medical miracle.
--Lauren Ipsum
Posted by: artconserv
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August 25, 2010 9:43 AM
Thank you for the update. Was thinking of you and hoping for the best. Good luck and speedy recovery!
Posted by: Dave A
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August 25, 2010 9:43 AM
Does this mean no more hundreds of beers untill 4AM with friends. What a bummer. Glad to hear you'll be back.
Posted by: ursulamajor
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August 25, 2010 9:44 AM
Praise Cheeses!
Wait, cheeses probably contributed to getting you in this predicament to begin with.
We're doing the happy dance in Virginia for the whole Myers family.
Posted by: Dean Buchanan
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August 25, 2010 9:45 AM
Cabbage, Pizza, Jawas, genital shaving, and less chance of dying than at any other time in your life!
Sounds tempting but I think I'll pass for now.
Take care, great to have you back.
Posted by: Iris
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August 25, 2010 9:47 AM
Glad to hear there's no cabbage headed your way any time soon PZ. None of this is any fun of course, but as your post shows, it can certainly be funny. Best regards.
Posted by: Moggie
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August 25, 2010 9:47 AM
Stand down, Lady Hope.
Posted by: chriselsegood
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August 25, 2010 9:48 AM
Wow PZ, thanks for that vivid mental image of your genitals, that's going to be sticking around for a while.
Also EXERCISE! If I hear you're slacking off I'm coming down to train you myself! Ottawa's not that far away. We could have a different pharyngulite running you ragged every day of the week.
Posted by: otrame
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August 25, 2010 9:48 AM
Hehe. My ex (who is a great doc and an great man--while at the same time being a massive prick*) used to talk about standing there holding the wound for up to an hour and talking with the patient. He said that the worst part for most of the patients was having to lay absolutely still for at least an hour and maybe more. This is apparently is very difficult and painful. We move around more than we realize even while "Laying still".
PZ I am glad you just got the stints. This blog entry was very well written. Having spent some time in the netherworld of serious pain meds with a healthy dollop of anxiolytics, I know how well you described it.
Anyway, glad it stayed minimally invasive and you will be home soon. Just the thought of going without your blog for even a couple of weeks left many of us with preemptive withdrawal symptoms.
*It was a case of "growing apart" but since we had been so well suited to start with it took us entirely too long to admit it was no longer functional and we hurt each other pretty badly in the mean time.
Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes
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August 25, 2010 9:51 AM
Fuck that noise! Sounds like you're all better. Now get back to work so I don't have to.
Posted by: jaranath
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August 25, 2010 9:51 AM
Wait a minute... Phil... Phil...
Oh my Dog! It was the Bad Astronomer! Gasp! Who knows what dastardly deeds he might have done?! He might have given PZ a secret tattoo! Or taken film of Adolf Johnson to slip into his upcoming (evil, nefarious) show!
Or... No, it couldn't be...could it? Gasp! What if he gave PZ a direct coronary injection of niceness?!
Posted by: johnlil#0a224
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August 25, 2010 9:52 AM
Those couldn't have been Hitler's eyes. He only had one.
(Yeah, I know some of you think that's an urban myth, but the Russians who autopsied Hitler confirmed it.)
Glad you were spared the rib-spreader. There's a spare-ribs joke in there somewhere...
Posted by: daveau
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August 25, 2010 9:53 AM
I'm glad they left all your funny parts intact, PZ. Welcome back.
Posted by: otrame
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August 25, 2010 9:57 AM
Oh, and by the way, when it starts to itch--and it will--try not to scratch at all. Scratching only makes it itch worse.
Why, yes, I do know from experience.
Posted by: Stibbons
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August 25, 2010 9:57 AM
So much for Godwin's Law, we STARTED with comparisons of Hitler. Glad you're feeling better, take it easy now.
Posted by: Wayne
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August 25, 2010 9:59 AM
Been through it and your description, strangely enough, makes perfect sense to me. I am really pleased that you managed to avoid the nutcracker surgery, and even more pleased that you wound up doing all this. Frankly, your last couple of road pics looked like hell, you were puffy and colorless, and really didn't look well. Now you'll be all shiny and new, and if you take care of yourself you'll be good for thousands more miles before you need to go back to the garage.
I've been in a similar place for years and find that proper diet (with minimal cheating) and regular exercise keep me feeling fine and able to do most of what I could do before. You need to respect the fact that you aren't a kid any more though, or else the consequences will suck.
Stay well, damn it. There are thousands and thousands of us who truly care and want you to stick around.
Posted by: progressive homeschooler
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August 25, 2010 10:00 AM
Glad to hear you're not dead. See, lack of prayer works! Here's to a speedy recovery.
Posted by: brent.rasmussen
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August 25, 2010 10:04 AM
Phil's giant head was your nurse? *confuzzled look*
Posted by: mk.ramm
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August 25, 2010 10:05 AM
So glad to hear the good news!
Posted by: Ribozyme
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August 25, 2010 10:06 AM
Wow, excellent news! I'm very happy for you and for all of us Pharyngulites. Looking forward to at least 40 more years of Pharyngula.
Posted by: sbh
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August 25, 2010 10:09 AM
Thank God my prayers were answered.
Seriously, glad to hear things are going as well as they are.
Posted by: funfly
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August 25, 2010 10:10 AM
Wish you well,
and thanks for making me laugh this morning.
Posted by: John A
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August 25, 2010 10:15 AM
I wish tho know more about said very large nose ...
Wait, what? Dammit, my mind is in the gutter again!
Glad to hear you're OK!
Posted by: Janice in Toronto
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August 25, 2010 10:16 AM
I'm so glad you're not dead!
Are you going to publish a video of the ordeal for your loyal fans?
Truly, Adolph Talleywacker could make the front page of WND...
Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac)
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August 25, 2010 10:17 AM
Huzzah!
And as a bonus, you are forbidden from eating cabbage. Sweet!
Posted by: Eamon Knight
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August 25, 2010 10:17 AM
First of all, I'm not dead yet.
Oh, right -- this from a guy who regularly makes zombie jokes? Watch for news of an apocalypse emanating from a source in western MN.
Posted by: Adamvs Maximvs
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August 25, 2010 10:18 AM
Glad to hear the procedure went well and you'll soon be back in the saddle.
Of course, had you just prayed hard enough you'd have gotten better and not used up expensive health services.
Posted by: UberAlles
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August 25, 2010 10:19 AM
Love the stent technology compared to the bypass.
Best wishes on returning to normal operations.
Posted by: Dianne
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August 25, 2010 10:21 AM
There's been massive speculation. So, fess up or tell us to buzz off...how many stents do you _really_ have?
Posted by: DiscoveredJoys
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August 25, 2010 10:21 AM
What the Jawas were saying was "Don't worry Mr Myers we are going to perform the Kurzweil procedure..."
All your thoughts have been vacuumed out and your intellect is now sitting on a server in the Arizona Desert.
Posted by: glasgowaspie
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August 25, 2010 10:22 AM
Yey! So glad to hear/read that you're doing well.
Posted by: salon_1928
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August 25, 2010 10:23 AM
Good news in a way (i.e. no chest cracking). Best wishes for a speedy recovery PZ - we need the firebrand back!
Posted by: bbreuer
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August 25, 2010 10:23 AM
Phew, that went well.
FWIW, my mom's experience in getting her stent was about the same, with a male nurse leaning on her crotch for half an hour afterwards, and her having to lie absolutely still (including a non-bathroom bathroom break) for another four hours, and two nights with a nice but snoring room-mate. Ah well, she's back to hiking in the Alps now. (I have no reports on pubiaries in her case, nor am I curious.)
Which all goes towards wishing you a steady recovery and many successful hikes in the Minnesotan Alps, wherever they may be. :-)
Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort
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August 25, 2010 10:24 AM
We'll need a picture of the pretty nurse.
For... research... yes...
Posted by: Susan
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August 25, 2010 10:26 AM
Good news! Thanks for keeping us posted in such an amusing way. Yay for excellent doctors, Hitler's mustache, Phil, good drugs, loving family, puppies, science and all non-cabbage vegetables. I hope the recovery continues as smoothly as possible.
Posted by: Aquaria
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August 25, 2010 10:27 AM
OMFSM--PZ, you nut, you find as much amusement at hospitals as I do.
Glad to hear you didn't need the chest-cracking. You'll be up and about again in no time. I'm sure the Trophy Wife and that crack medical team will make sure of it.
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawla8UcnOw5FRpebyfygMTeWEtCq8H1B9TM
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August 25, 2010 10:27 AM
Great news indeed. That means we do not have to take any additional support measures.
In related news: Does anybody have a use for a hardly used black goat?
Posted by: Tulse
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August 25, 2010 10:28 AM
Praise Cthulhu! Very glad to hear it went well, PZ!
Posted by: SirBedevere
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August 25, 2010 10:29 AM
But wouldn't "The Left Ventricle" be a great name for a nightclub!
Speedy recovery, PZ.
Posted by: Dm5171
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August 25, 2010 10:29 AM
Let this be a lesson to you. Next time you pick a fight with Ray Kurweil, his nanobots might do more than just tickle your arteries.
Posted by: percyprune
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August 25, 2010 10:29 AM
You're not dead?
Damn, and I was so looking forward to Zombie PZ...
Posted by: stoic.myopenid.com
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August 25, 2010 10:31 AM
Get well and keep your hands off Phil.
Posted by: Michelle R
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August 25, 2010 10:31 AM
SPECTACULAR! Now let me have a celebratory greasy steak of victory for you!
Posted by: alopiasmag
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August 25, 2010 10:31 AM
Any chance of making one of your Dentist appointments sound that much fun? We really need the help.
Glad to know you're going to be alright.
Posted by: fester60613
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August 25, 2010 10:32 AM
PZ - welcome to the firm grip of middle age!
1) I'm glad you didn't have to have open heart surgery.
2) I'm also glad you didn't - like I did - have to have a major heart attack before you got your stents.
3) They're gonna check that hole in your thigh for the next six months, so get used to dropping trou on a regular basis.
4) Take your meds when and how you're told to do - I'm sure the Trophy Wife can help you with that.
Cheers!
Posted by: KG
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August 25, 2010 10:33 AM
With the walls contracting and expanding wildly, in time with torrents of blood crashing down through an opening in the ceiling, then gurgling out through a hole in the floor!
Posted by: xunatz
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August 25, 2010 10:35 AM
Glad you've gotten a good prognosis and are well on your way to recovery.
Posted by: Aaron Baker
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August 25, 2010 10:36 AM
I'm glad to hear you're all right.
But don't disparage Nazis as aids to sexual gratification.
Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites
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August 25, 2010 10:36 AM
Okay, could we get the religious of the world to refrain from doing anything fucked up for a fortnight?
Thanks.
Posted by: billygutter01
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August 25, 2010 10:37 AM
Excellent news!
Now I'm off to have a bacon sandwich in your honour.
Really, I'm having bacon, but I may not drink the fat today...
Incidentally, mashing Hitler and Jawas into the same visual landscape gave me a shudder-chuckle.
Posted by: Frank b
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August 25, 2010 10:37 AM
That's good news PZ, I am glad. You gave a very good description of how things look while being drug woozy. I hope Phil got his head back from the overhead camera boom, and how did he know that you don't like cabbage?
Posted by: Doodle Bean
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August 25, 2010 10:37 AM
Very funny and true to life account, PZ. But please don't laugh at Mary's concerns; she has more power over you right now than you realize!
I would also like a photo of that sexy nurse. You know, Phil!
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnG39uMFt69kwCKZ8DoxtmMCvmzr5chx94
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August 25, 2010 10:38 AM
Are you sure you were still in the hospital during the surgey? When those funny looking creautures started poking inside your body and all? To me it sounds like these stories about abductions by aliens..
LOL.
Posted by: otrame
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August 25, 2010 10:38 AM
spicers @26 wins the thread and at least half an internet
Posted by: Barracuda
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August 25, 2010 10:38 AM
Thanks for the chuckle. Adding this "new kid's" best wishes for your comfort and quick recovery.
Posted by: Blake Stacey
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August 25, 2010 10:39 AM
Hooray!
Posted by: MsAnnThrope
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August 25, 2010 10:39 AM
Actually that was a cool scene in a club in the movie Blade. Waaay back in the day when vampires weren't sparkly anguished teenagers with big hair. Sigh.
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler
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August 25, 2010 10:39 AM
Absolutely obligatory "not dead yet" links.
Posted by: thoughtspiral
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August 25, 2010 10:40 AM
Glad to hear the good news... and I must say, the courage and humor you're displaying is most impressive.
Posted by: Izzy
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August 25, 2010 10:41 AM
"Hitler's mustache"!? Hahaha! Thanks for the great mental picture!
Glad to your that you won't need the big surgery! And thank you for keeping us posted! :D
Posted by: arensb
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August 25, 2010 10:42 AM
How can it be that there are 120 comments on this thread so far, and no one has mentioned the word "Brazilian"?
(Must be those Pygmies and dwarfs.)
Posted by: Dianne
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August 25, 2010 10:43 AM
With the walls contracting and expanding wildly, in time with torrents of blood crashing down through an opening in the ceiling, then gurgling out through a hole in the floor!
Shouldn't it be spraying out a hole in the wall? Possibly along with the club goers. Maybe two holes if it's the VSD club.
Posted by: Timberwoof
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August 25, 2010 10:43 AM
I'm glad to hear that that is "all" it was. Good luck and god health to you.
Posted by: blockhead
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August 25, 2010 10:43 AM
"First of all, I'm not dead yet."
No joke. Thats the first thing I think whenever I wake up from a procedure that needs an anasthetic.
PZ, the angiogram experience and drugs are much like the colonscopy procedure. You are in and out of wakefullness, and can see, on a TV monitor, the inside of your colon as the doctor probes and snips. You occasionally feel some pain, but it seems far away and not bothersome. Something else to look forward to as you age.
An aspirin a day is said to be a good preventative or safety valve against heart attacks and clots. Thats probably been reccomended to you too.
Posted by: sasqwatch
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August 25, 2010 10:45 AM
Hitler? I figured you would've seen the spaghetti monster instead. Odd.
Does this mean no more bacon?
Posted by: Andrew
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August 25, 2010 10:45 AM
In my case (angioplasty number 6) when they removed the shunt I saw a rather pretty fountain of arterial blood which didn't seem to want to stop... so in dives the doctor who rammed her fist into my groin and then used her elbow to increase the pressure on the artery. On top of this the said (loony) doctor started singing selections of songs from the hospital shows she has been in (it seemed like a huge number) and of course just to ratchet the embarrassment levels even higher the nurse who's assisting the attempt to stop the bleeding (by grabbing hold of the femoral artery in the groin when pressure is relaxed) is the most attractive on the ward...
Glad you avoided the CABG and I hope that you only need this one cycle of angio (It's much more fun when you are awake...)
Posted by: ing St Hawk
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August 25, 2010 10:50 AM
Briljant story ! You made my day.
Now, what do you have in mind for the rest of my life ?
Get well soon.
Posted by: RamblinDude
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August 25, 2010 10:50 AM
Ah, the force is strong in you, PZ Wan Myers. Rest now you must. Rest and regain your strength, for your help against the dark side, still needed is!
Posted by: KG
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August 25, 2010 10:52 AM
You're right, of course. IANAPh, and it's some time since I looked at a picture of the heart.
Well, to attend such a club, they would have to be clots! [Does this pun work outside Brits of my age plus?]
Posted by: Volvox
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August 25, 2010 10:54 AM
Way to go with the stent, much, much better than the chest cracking. You might want to download a few of your impressive CT/MRI scans into your laptop for conversation pieces.
Volvox
Posted by: daveau
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August 25, 2010 10:54 AM
Now that you mention it, I vaguely remember signing some paperwork that said I had around a 1% (or whatever) chance of dying for my colonoscopy. Stupid statistics.
Posted by: pasadena beggar
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August 25, 2010 10:54 AM
I'm awesome glad you got off so lightly, PZ, and that you're doing really well.
Posted by: dharmasatya
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August 25, 2010 10:55 AM
This is excellent news! Huzzah!
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/YV9QP0QPwMJfu77NXMT7EidRzxP5Zw--#795a6
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August 25, 2010 10:57 AM
Glad to hear that your procedure went well, but do be aware that stents are not a permanent solution and they can collapse or re-clog up. A close friend of mine who had two stents put in two years ago had to go back for a triple bypass this past week.
I guess you'll have to limit your wild Pharyngulafests when you meet up with your fans on your upcoming book and speaking tour!
Pradeep
Posted by: thomas.c.galvin
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August 25, 2010 10:57 AM
Awesome news PZ. I'm very thankful that His Noodly Appendage touched you... even if it was in the bathing suit area.
Posted by: Aliasalpha
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August 25, 2010 11:00 AM
Good to hear mate. Lucky they didn't need to fit you with a pacemaker, it'd probably have been one with a bad motivator, you know how Jawas are...
Posted by: Brother Billy
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August 25, 2010 11:00 AM
Cheers matey, well played.
As for the pessemistic bugger at #135, what a miserable old scrote. Ignore him, it'll be fine.
Posted by: Left Handed Atheist
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August 25, 2010 11:01 AM
Good news, all things considered. Best wishes for a speedy and thorough recovery - the world needs you back in action!
Posted by: cocker.splodie
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August 25, 2010 11:02 AM
Woohoo!
I showed this to my mother (who has had three heart attacks, two bypasses, an implantable defibrillator and a multitude of angiograms) and she about blew her decaf coffee all over her laptop. :)
Posted by: Katrina, radicales féministes athées
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August 25, 2010 11:05 AM
As someone else who is currently lying abed post-op, I would like to complain that your description was much too funny and caused a great deal of painful mirth for me.
You were far more lucid than I was. My nurse told me she was going to give me some "happy juice" that would make me seem quite witty and funny (at least to me), prior to actually knocking me out. Apparently I missed out on the witty and funny part. Though my husband says I spoke to him for quite some time; he's not saying whether I was witty or funny.
Posted by: blockhead
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August 25, 2010 11:06 AM
at 135
Neither the bypasses or the stents are 'premanent"
The bypass grafts are good for 5-15 years, on average. The stents, I'm not sure of, but have an acquaintence who had to have surgery within weeks of a failed stent. Life is a crapshoot.
Personally, I always ask the Docs what the odds of death or permanent disability are before the procedure. Also the national odds will vary, sometimes significantly, from hospital to hospital and doctor to doctor. At Meritor H in Madison, I was told they had a better then average survival rate, and my doctor was very fast. You want to fast operating doc when you have a cabbage. Reduces risk of brain damage.
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnDeIPvGdG5Ko4xndZFTM9TfaGkoKe-h1E
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August 25, 2010 11:07 AM
Very happy you were able to get by with just stents..... but remember real men get their chests cracked open! :)
Posted by: sheik.djibouti.al.nayt
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August 25, 2010 11:09 AM
Sounds like quite an ordeal, but much better than the alternative! Glad to hear it worked out well.
Posted by: glenister_m
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August 25, 2010 11:12 AM
Glad to hear things went well. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
I sat through a 'cabbage' when I was considering applying to med-school. They removed a vein from one thigh and attached it to the heart to bypass a blockage. I was a bit surprized how heavy-handed the whole procedure seemed, eg. after hooking up the heart-lung machine, they stopped the heart by pouring a pitcher of ice water over it - literally - it seemed so low tech.
Unfortunately they made a few jokes during the procedure, so I had to open my big mouth and repeat one from 'Young Doctors in Love', "We won't know until the autopsy." to answer what seemed an appropriate question at the time. Besides, I procrastinate too much to be a doctor anyway.
Posted by: cearbhaill
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August 25, 2010 11:16 AM
Well, I had no Jawas or Ewoks in my drup induced fantasies, but I never was really that excited by Star Wars. Still, it's good to know you saw things that interested you in a positive way. I was in a low-grade spy novel.
I am so glad to hear your prognosis is good.
Posted by: SplendidMonkey
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August 25, 2010 11:16 AM
Chiming in to say I'm relieved and happy at this pretty good news.
And the papers want to know who's stents you wear?
Posted by: charley
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August 25, 2010 11:18 AM
Glad you're OK. My mom got 7 stents at age 87. I've noticed that after 3 or 4 years they cause a stooped over posture and wrinkled skin.
Posted by: jonezart
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August 25, 2010 11:25 AM
Yay! No cabbage for you.
My mom had a quadruple bypass several years ago and it was rough. So glad you don't have to go through that.
Now. Take it EASY for awhile!
Posted by: Chris Hughes
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August 25, 2010 11:27 AM
When I had an angiograph (rather than '-gram'?) I was warned that as they moved into a certain chamber of the heart I would experience a 'hot flush' - which I did, that would finish by making me think I'd wet myself... I hadn't, but the illusion was pretty powerful!
Happy Monkey, PZ and welcome back to the world.
Posted by: Randomfactor
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August 25, 2010 11:33 AM
Spice this account up a bit with some additional woo and you've got the beginnings of a good religious scripture.
Blest be Phil, the prophet, who brings us the words of the Doc.
Thou Shalt Not Have Cabbage, for its Mighty Winds are an abomination...
And finally, Shave This in Rememberance of Me...
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/SaqGVG0xvJEQVwURVamS3DTCdvov0BLhXK1jOsYPPJQ-#b4893
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August 25, 2010 11:35 AM
"Expect blogging to be on the light side..."
Shyeah. Where have we heard THAT before?
MikeM
Posted by: SteveM
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August 25, 2010 11:35 AM
re #10:
New here? PZ wrote about it here.
---
PZ, here is another who is glad to hear everything went well and you only needed stents and not "cabbage". Take care of yourself, get more exercise, eat less, lose some weight. Get a puppy of a high-energy breed that needs long walks is how I started to lose my sedentary habits. (A puppy because once you establish a schedule, they won't let you "cheat")
Posted by: Steve Page
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August 25, 2010 11:46 AM
Awesome new, PZ. I hope you're back to full strength as soon as possible, and I hope to see you in person (health permitting, natch) at TAM London in October.
Posted by: somewhereingreece
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August 25, 2010 11:59 AM
Congratulations Professor Myers! I wish you a speedy return home
Posted by: gatoprecambriano
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August 25, 2010 12:03 PM
Hi PZ
Welcome to the club. I've joined it in 1995 (I'm 1962 vintage btw) July 21st, in a painful way, but happily I didn't need surgery, just a clean up of the pipes. 2 actually.
Since then I had to do it again 2 more times, the last one was last April. But then unlike the first time it was before a crisis emerge. I have 3 stents now and lots of medication prescribed.
Be well man.
Posted by: loocas
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August 25, 2010 12:07 PM
I'm glad you didn't go into a hair furor over your Hitler pubes.
I may have raised a glass to your good health, which is just as ineffective as prayer on your end, but it made me feel good about myself.
Best wishes.
Posted by: TrineBM
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August 25, 2010 12:14 PM
Good Jawas! Gooooddd Jawas.
Glad to hear the - under the circumstances - good news.
Now behave. Relax, rest and do as the nice nurses tell you.
Posted by: uke
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August 25, 2010 12:15 PM
Sweet. Glad it worked out for you.
Where are the pictures of Little Hitler? The Interwebs insist!
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/K2PNji0at.txAjzTShOlxwLuFcVVFwbnng--#bd813
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August 25, 2010 12:18 PM
Delighted to hear that you came thru.
Gaypaganunitarianagnostic
Posted by: ralphgentile3
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August 25, 2010 12:25 PM
Good news!
A caution: after my cardiac ablation (for AF) they told me to exercise/test my lungs with that little plastic thingy. At first I was fine but the next day I got nervous when I couldn't draw a deep breath. I decided, as you recently suggested, not to be a tough guy and called an ambulance. The paramedics did not mock me or call me a hypochondriac on the way to the hospital.
For whatever reason, the docs decided to re-ultrasound my entry wound and found I had a fistula which they then treated (I think they said it would resolve on its own). So although I'm unaware of any causal relationships between diminished lung capacities and fistulas, and I'm an atheist, I thank the Universe for the gift of short breath which caused the detection and treatment of my fistula.
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnDeIPvGdG5Ko4xndZFTM9TfaGkoKe-h1E
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August 25, 2010 12:25 PM
With just stents I predict that the outlook for Skepticon in Nov is looking good...
Posted by: glowball
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August 25, 2010 12:26 PM
Glad for the good news! Feel better and take it easy!
Posted by: elnauhual
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August 25, 2010 12:28 PM
woow..
Seems, you have a serious case of blogging addiction..
We may have a hard case of Witdrawal symptoms if you do not blog... but we can take it for few days...
PZ.. Please Take care...
OK?
Posted by: Tim
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August 25, 2010 12:39 PM
Good news! And even better news is that you live in the 21st century. Thank FSM for modern medicine, and for your wisdom in seeking it.
Posted by: Rutee, Shrieking Harpy of Dooooom
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August 25, 2010 12:43 PM
So Phil introduced himself as C-3Phil0, Human Cyborg Relations?
I hope PZ feels better! It looks like he will, but I hope it stays that way!
Posted by: shush388
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August 25, 2010 12:47 PM
Glad it all went well. You're very brave. It's pretty nerve-wracking to even find oneself in the position of requiring an urgent life-saving procedure, so congratulations on having the poise to crack a few jokes about it!
And I'll never again be able to see a photo of Hitler without giggling.
:)
Posted by: nelc
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August 25, 2010 12:48 PM
That's great news, PZ. Hope the recovery is as relaxing as you made it sound.
In the meantime, here's something to amuse you. (Not safe for work, or sanity.)
Posted by: puzzledponderer
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August 25, 2010 12:49 PM
Yar! I knew they'd patch you right up - and that nothing would bring down a sturdy pirate like you!
Posted by: Ray Moscow
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August 25, 2010 12:54 PM
Yay! You sound like you're back to your regular self, which is a good thing.
Posted by: cfmilner
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August 25, 2010 1:03 PM
Fabulous news! You are one hoopy frood :)
Posted by: mpajeau
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August 25, 2010 1:03 PM
First of all, best wishes for a speedy recovery, PZ!
IANAMD, but I work for one of the world's largest manufacturers of angiography suites and so I have observed quite a few angiogram/plasty procedures. This was quite a new perspective on the whole thing - perhaps we can incorporate a sound effect of "Utinni!" into our next product release...
Posted by: nemryn
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August 25, 2010 1:04 PM
Hooray! Good to hear you're doing (mostly) okay.
Posted by: djmooretx
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August 25, 2010 1:04 PM
Congratulations on not needing to get cracked.
I disagree mightily with much of your politics, as I understand them, but you are a valuable ally on the science and skepticism barricades, and I would have hated to lose you.
I have heard tales that those who have faced death sometimes turn all happy and fluffy and sweetness and light.
Your students need you to stay ruthless. Don't play nice.
Posted by: jeffery.g.davis
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August 25, 2010 1:04 PM
Feel better PZ, I'll be specifically making sure no one in my household prays for you =)
Posted by: Gregory Greenwood
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August 25, 2010 1:13 PM
It is great to hear that you came through your drug-induced Star Wars adventure just fine. I mean, where would the Pharynguloid Rebellion be against the Creationist Empire without PZ Myers-walker?
If the "pretty nurse" starts looking like a Jawa, and especially if you continue to find her pretty after the fact, then you need to worry.
May the Farce be with you, always...
Posted by: Cardinal Shrew
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August 25, 2010 1:14 PM
Glad to hear you are doing ok. Will keep not praying for you.
Posted by: Randomfactor
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August 25, 2010 1:15 PM
It seems the homeopathic prayers worked for you.
Wise move, urging everyone to avoid prayer so it would be diluted enough to take effect.
Posted by: Gregory Greenwood
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August 25, 2010 1:20 PM
And now for the inevitable (and slightly modified) geeky quote:-
"Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first rational man. PZ Myers will be that man; better than he was before. Better, smarter, funnier."
Posted by: SteveV, Death's Pissant Haberdasher
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August 25, 2010 1:22 PM
What really great news! Well done all involved.
All this talk of Jawas confused the crap out of me. I mean, wearing robes, talking (in Czech, presumably)
Get well, PZ, we would miss you.
Posted by: blf
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August 25, 2010 1:24 PM
Attention all Kraken! Return to base! Return to base!
Shuts off mic, turns to equally frustrated/bemused controller…
Fecking hades! That didn't work either. Ok, what's plan G ?
Posted by: Olga
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August 25, 2010 1:28 PM
Great news! You're wonderful, PZ. Back up and running in almost no time.
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawlg8VqJFnnbFnnY_Dg6AALzyA78Jt-Ev6E
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August 25, 2010 1:32 PM
Glad it went ok for you. I have had various angiograms (I born with 2 heart defects effecting my aorta) and as I read your post I was slowly bringing my knees up to make access to my groin more difficult. After reading you post two things have occurred to me 1) so glad I have always been given the change to remove my own pubic hair 2) so glad I have always had this done under a general anesthetic, mainly due to my immense phobia of needles but also due to increased size of 'inducer' they need to use to look at the aorta from the inside out. compared to usual coronary arteries. Take care, and DON'T move too much to soon. I did that in the past and ended up having to spend even longer off my feet.
Posted by: JBlilie
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August 25, 2010 1:33 PM
Great news PZ!
Thank my industry and its scientists for the hardware that will, with any luck, prevent further issues.
Now, about that bacon ... I get your share too!
Posted by: wanderinweeta
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August 25, 2010 1:42 PM
Good news!
But now, be careful for a bit. Don't push things.
I had an angiogram over 10 years ago. I sat around for a couple of days, then returned to normal activity, and immediately pulled the incision site. I had to go back into hospital to have it checked out, and to be properly scolded.
10 years later, the incision scar still hurts if I stretch too far. So take it easy, ok?
Posted by: mommimus-prime
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August 25, 2010 1:42 PM
So glad you're doing well. Even though I didn't comment earlier, you were in my thoughts. Now, exercise, cut back on the beer and you don't have to eat bland to eat healthy but eat healthy.
Posted by: Joffan
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August 25, 2010 1:43 PM
You're not fooling anyone - we all know that the Z in PZ stands for Zombie.
Posted by: F
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August 25, 2010 1:44 PM
Yay!
Less is more, when you can get away with it. Fantastic!
Posted by: ohioobserver
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August 25, 2010 1:53 PM
Good drugs.....niiiice drugs. I had this done twice, and damned if I remember anything about, then or now. You're much more lucid about it than I (or maybe your soul was hovering over the table, ive-blogging to your addled brain). I had to have the CABG (left anterior descending), but they didn't crack my chest -- the docs here had a new toy they wanted to try out on a real live person, and I showed up at the right time with the right blockage. They went in via my left intercostal spaces with probes the size of pencils, and the whole thing was handled by a surgeon playing video games in my chest, but from across the room. Weird!
Here's to a speedy recovery and a non-recurrence of the bad stuff.
Posted by: Steve
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August 25, 2010 1:56 PM
Here's another wrinkle on the "CABG"... years ago, when I was a medical technologist working in a hospital lab, during the immediate post-operative period these patients were referred to as "fresh cabbages". :-)
Burn patients were "krispy kritters", but that's another hospital humor story...
Glad you needed only stents. You'd think if there really was a god, and it really was as cranky as the old testament guy, you wouldn't have gotten off so easily.
Steve
Posted by: dahduh
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August 25, 2010 1:57 PM
Proof at last, that Hitler is a Darwinist.
Get well soon, and commiserations to the Trophy Wife (TM).
Posted by: Evomonkey
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August 25, 2010 2:00 PM
Yay! Break out the bacon!
On second thoughts a toast to your health with some good ol' tap water. Maybe in the near future you can have a wee bit of heart-healthy red wine.
Posted by: RBH
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August 25, 2010 2:01 PM
Good news on the cabbage avoidance.
And welcome to the fellowship of stented atheists. :)
Posted by: Wandermaske
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August 25, 2010 2:01 PM
Realizing the obvious futility of praying for your health and quick recovery, i decided the only responsible course of action would be sacrificing a goat.
In absence of any gods to receive this offering, i just bought one (via Oxfam, a secular charity organisation) to be delivered to a third world family in need. Makes more sense anyway. Best wishes!
Posted by: IslandBrewer
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August 25, 2010 2:10 PM
... he left me a short wide rectangular patch for a landing strip that looked like Hitler's mustache…
At least it was the original Hitler, and not the "Boys From Brazil"
(Sorry, I desperately tried to come up with a clever "Boys from Brazil" joke there and failed. But, I had to try.)
Posted by: rutty
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August 25, 2010 2:21 PM
A fistful of stents
The Jawas have done their best
No Cabbage for you
Glad you're on the mend. Don't fuck it up now ;)
Posted by: Dude... Real Men Watch Ponies!
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August 25, 2010 2:23 PM
Must sacrifice elves to Armok for this fortuitous turn of event. More blood for the blood god!Posted by: intenso
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August 25, 2010 2:29 PM
Funniest post ever. Had to sign up just to say so. Glad you're well, PZ.
Posted by: urodovic
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August 25, 2010 2:29 PM
Glad you will be back to your great Blog. The one I only read with consistency....really. But you need to start taking better care of the only body you have, no reincarnations expected..
Posted by: bbgunn071679
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August 25, 2010 2:30 PM
IslandBrewer @#195:
I was thinking something like 'Dr. Myers' little 'Gregory Pecker.'
Posted by: tedhohio
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August 25, 2010 2:33 PM
While there are a very mental images that make me wish to burn out my retinas -- Hmmm do mental images cause blindness? Well that's neither here nor there. Glad things went well and that you'll be home soon resting! Hell of a lot easier than chest cracking! No prayers, just best wishes for some R&R while the body catches back up.
Posted by: mothra
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August 25, 2010 2:38 PM
SO GREAT to hear your prognosis is good! Best wishes on a complete as possible recovery.
Obligatory joke:
Very, very nervous I was and still am.. . .
Soon I became aware of a sound. . .
Louder I say and still louder. . .
They would not leave and still the sound was louder. . .
I admit the [prognosis] There, it is the beating of his hideous heart!
May it beat for a few score more years).
Posted by: Kraid
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August 25, 2010 2:46 PM
Let's all take a minute to compare this favorable outcome, which was possible largely through science and the oft-villianized "western medicine," with other possible outcomes that might have come about through homeopathic treatments or prayer.
Preaching to the choir, I know.
Posted by: Sven DiMilo
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August 25, 2010 2:49 PM
PZ's dick looks like Hitler.
Hitler was a dick.
Phil thinks PZ is a dick.
there's a "therefore" in there someplace...
Posted by: realinterrobang
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August 25, 2010 2:55 PM
Glad to hear you're doing well. My dad just had a cardiac ablation done (for atrial fibrillation) which required a similar groinal hole, so you may be happy to hear that the puncture heals up pretty speedily. Rest, take it easy, get lots of sleep, and do your rehab routine, um, religiously. Well, you know what I mean...
Posted by: Marcie Dietrich
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August 25, 2010 2:59 PM
I'm so glad you're OK.
Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites
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August 25, 2010 3:04 PM
Oh! I remember these kinds of logic puzzles. Clearly, we first have to deduce what Phil thinks of PZ's dick before we continue. Also, I think matrices are involved.
PZ Phil PZ's Dick Hitler PZ Like Rival Likes (?) Doesn't Like Phil Doesn't Like Like X Doesn't Like PZ's Dick N/A N/A N/A N/A Hitler Dead Dead Dead DeadSolve for X.
Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline.
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August 25, 2010 3:10 PM
Luddites!Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage
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August 25, 2010 3:22 PM
If you got to know cabbage you might feel differently about it. Invite it over for a couple of drinks and an evening of mahjong or take it for a walk. Spend some time with cabbage and you'll see its good side.
One word of warning. Don't take cabbage sailing. It suffers from horrible sea-sickness. It turns a weird shade of green or sometimes even purple.
Posted by: Franklin Percival
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August 25, 2010 3:24 PM
You are a daft sod,Sir Poopyhead. I very much approve of your attitude to ill-health, however.
I finally had my tonsils removed in 1972, but even though I was very young (22 y.o.)at the time, the night sister gave me a certain amount of encouragement.
Are you getting the same sort of service?
Luv, F.
Posted by: factorjl
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August 25, 2010 3:28 PM
Firstly, great news PZ. (Relative to what it could have been!)
Secondly, truly admirable savoir faire demonstrated in this post. I salute you.
Posted by: Epikt
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August 25, 2010 3:32 PM
sasqwatch:
I was thinking Pinocchio.
Posted by: Tomato Addict
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August 25, 2010 3:50 PM
I can see it coming ... the Discovery Institute is going to publish a diatribe on how Darwinism is responsible for Hitler-crotch. It will be the most lucid thing they ever publish.
Posted by: sasqwatch
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August 25, 2010 4:02 PM
Epikt: Pinocchio may have the protuberance, but he doesn't have those all-important meatballs.
Posted by: Elizabeth
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August 25, 2010 4:08 PM
As someone who works for a vascular device company, I wonder why they used the vice closure method and not a device? Or maybe they did both? Closure devices are soooooooo cool. Mechanical wonders.
As for the stents themselves, they aren't fix-all devices, but they do quickly improve quality of life and mitigate the immediate risk. I don't know the in-patient failure rates of commercially available stents off the top of my head, but I do know it's a field that is continuously putting out new devices with better (more therapeutic, safer) results.
Of course, if you return to the lifestyle that caused blockage in the first place, it will return.
Posted by: mwsletten
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August 25, 2010 4:12 PM
So basically what you're saying is Hitler was a dick...
Here's hoping your stint in the hospital doesn't involve any more stents!
Get well soon.
Posted by: GrumpyPathDoc
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August 25, 2010 4:16 PM
The cardiologists looked like Jawas? With hoods and glowing eyes and carrying long sticks? Well the glowing eyes could be explained by all the radiation they get doing the angiograms.
Medications? I predict large doses of a statin, and Plavix. Good thing you have a healthy amount of whiskers as shaving can be risky on a platelet adhesion inhibitor.
Very, very glad all went well and speedy recovery!!
Posted by: Ted Zissou
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August 25, 2010 4:22 PM
Tell your wife that patch of hair is a welcome mat.
Glad you are doig well.
You'll have to drink more red wine.
Cheers!
Posted by: skeptical_hippo
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August 25, 2010 4:31 PM
Great news! I'm so glad everything went well!
Posted by: Ted Zissou
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August 25, 2010 4:34 PM
Uh, doing well that is.
Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe
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August 25, 2010 4:43 PM
All praise to Phil & The Jawas! So happy you're doing well, PZ. Take good care of Mary and yourself.
Posted by: DuaneWaite
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August 25, 2010 4:47 PM
I went in for a procedure once. I made damn sure I shaved myself, first. Didn't want anyone touching me that way. My operation? Wrist surgery.
Posted by: lucyv
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August 25, 2010 4:53 PM
Happy monkey!
Very glad to read your account, although I found it hard to explain to my collegues why I was laughing at a report of an operation.
Posted by: OriGuy
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August 25, 2010 5:01 PM
Obligatory Monty Python reference to being Not Dead Yet.
Don't try this for a little while.
Posted by: iceclimbr
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August 25, 2010 5:01 PM
Well done! The hitler 'stache pube style is so hot right now....
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/x1CsKko.p.keyee5Rk.DLZd7ts9OdS.ilqZgGw--#2a28e
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August 25, 2010 5:03 PM
The morning after my emergency appendectomy years ago I thought I was in heaven. Everything was white and bright. I felt incredibly high. At my side there was someone entirely dressed in white saying nice things to me. It had to be an angel. Then suddenly, someone turned me over on my other side and I could make out my parents. I thought, "Fuck! Now they are going to ruin heaven for me, too." Then I was turned over to the angel again; this time I realized she was actually a nun in full-habit. I stopped believing in heaven that night.
Posted by: Moira Manion
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August 25, 2010 5:06 PM
Good. Because if you wrote that and you're dead, then you're probably a zombie, and zombies in Minneapolis get ticketed.
Unless you're blogging while dead becaue you're a sparkly vampire. In which case, I'd want the stents in your heart to be wooden, for your own good.
Rest and heal.
Posted by: Snikkers
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August 25, 2010 5:15 PM
*wipes her tea off monitor*
I now have a very high regard for the quality of conscious sedation methods.
Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger
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August 25, 2010 5:15 PM
By the way, PZ, if your experience is anything like my dad's, you'll be arguing with leftover adhesive on your thigh for weeks. That glue is tenacious.
Just warning.
Posted by: furr-a-bruin
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August 25, 2010 5:24 PM
I'm glad you got the issue taken care of and they didn't stint on the stents. ;)
I can empathize on the hospital boredom; I experienced some chest pain back in late January and my Dr. told me "go to the ER." I was kind of expecting a general checkout, a test or two and more tests scheduled for later... silly me. I should have realized that a 45 year old male presenting with chest pain wasn't going to be treated casually. I was admitted and had 3 days of mind-numbing boredom as my mp3 player and phone batteries died (since I didn't bring the chargers). In my case, they found no blockage and no ischemia - just sinus tachycardia that's now under control with beta blockers.
So - if one has a few moments to gather things before going to the hospital, remember the chargers! (I'd also have packed a backpack full of books, but that's another issue.)
Posted by: davegodfrey
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August 25, 2010 5:25 PM
Get well soon.
Here's a video of an octopus in a rice cooker to cheer you up.
Posted by: rik.delaet
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August 25, 2010 5:29 PM
"and then I noticed that Hitler had a very large nose and two big pink hairy eyeballs"
That's when the emperor has no clothes!
Posted by: feralboy12
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August 25, 2010 5:29 PM
Hitler?
Mine looks like Buddy Hackett.
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/7IW3Q_E3tsKloSlnYxkYxNayMxiHG7hu.xyaWoTqcg--#e7f3e
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August 25, 2010 5:29 PM
I've been thinking of you; good luck; glad you're on the mend. OK, wishes are just prayers that people say to themselves when they're scared or un-sure. I know they're forbidden here. Now the orders. Eat healthy. Take medication as prescribed. Give Trophy Wife a big hug (she needs reassurance too). Exercise at least the minimum the doctors order.(don't make me contact your daughter to have her take you bike riding; mine did that to me after surgery)
plumberbob
Posted by: Warthog
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August 25, 2010 5:35 PM
Wow! Good news, especially as I've just found your site in the last few days. If I hadn't prayed for you, they'd probably be cracking your chest, you know. :D
When I had my stent done, they went in through my wrist. Apparently it's much less brutal than the groin route. I was out of hospital the next day, too.
Best wishes in your recovery.
WH
Posted by: rik.delaet
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August 25, 2010 5:37 PM
"and then I noticed that Hitler had a very large nose and two big pink hairy eyeballs"
That's when the emperor has no clothes!
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/KI9.4t8P0eWdP3v7Axw3LdtrXw--#48285
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August 25, 2010 5:42 PM
aka NoGurus,
So glad this is not a letter of condolence.
PZ, don't know if you exercise much, but it works to keep these mortal bodies going, and it feels great once you get used to it. Please get a routine going so we have you to kick around for many years to come!
Posted by: Samantha Vimes
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August 25, 2010 6:00 PM
That was hilarious. I had to read it out loud to my trophy husband.
Good to see you back to yourself already. Just one piece of advice. When you are sleepy, go ahead and sleep. I broke an arm a couple of years ago and actually healed it without a cast (because I thought it was just bad soft tissue until the swelling went down enough I could feel something *extra* moving in my joint). For a week, I wanted to sleep about 14 hours a day. That's the body shutting down so it can work on healing. So lots of sleep, even when you think you shouldn't.
I'm sure you'll be feeling great in no time.
Posted by: Ye Olde Blacksmith
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August 25, 2010 6:10 PM
KG @ 41
I'm thinking something along the lines of handlebar mustaches?
eeeewwww!!!!!
-----------------------------------
Seriously, I'm so glad to hear that you are on the mend, P.Z.
Posted by: echidna
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August 25, 2010 6:18 PM
Well done, PZ. I don't know how you manage to stay so lucid and witty.
Take care now.
Posted by: ophelia.benson
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August 25, 2010 6:19 PM
You thought you were going to live blog it! That's hilarious. Yes I can just see doctors being keen on that idea. They want us passive, passive enough not to kick and struggle even when the nurse holds our hand soothingly.
Posted by: Ichthyic
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August 25, 2010 6:22 PM
If I hadn't prayed for you, they'd probably be cracking your chest, you know.
*smack*
bad dog.
Posted by: Diane G.
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August 25, 2010 6:23 PM
ROFL!
So much for any worries about 'mental acuity...'
Delighted to hear that everything
came outwent in OK.Posted by: ophelia.benson
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August 25, 2010 6:27 PM
About the good news and the threat hanging and the long time of ouchy hurty - yes we know, that's why there was a lot of high-fiving yesterday when your visitor/informant said it was a stent or five!
Posted by: schipper
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August 25, 2010 6:32 PM
Do keep that pubic hair.
Elvis'(something to do with guitars) hair recently sold for mega bucks, yours is worth more than that.
May the probabilities of luck be with you.
Cor.
Posted by: Gregory Greenwood
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August 25, 2010 6:32 PM
Let's just hope that there is never any need for a sequal to this thread entitled For a Few Stents More...
Posted by: Doxie
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August 25, 2010 6:34 PM
Great to hear, PZ. I marvel at how your sense of humour is still functional after this kind of experience. Maybe that comes with the black heart and empty space where the soul/God goes. Wishing you well.
Posted by: ATL-Apostate
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August 25, 2010 6:50 PM
PZ - I am a cardiologist and have performed numerous cardiac catheterizations.
This is quite possibly the best, most entertaining description of what a cath is that I've ever read.
I will be referring select patients to your post if they have additional questions about their upcoming cath. But sorry, not sharing the revenue. :-)
Posted by: unemployed
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August 25, 2010 6:57 PM
I am very glad you did not need to have the emergency bypass - my first job with my shiny new biology degree (many years ago) was working in a blood bank at a large hospital, and much of the most exciting work happened when someone's angioplasty didn't go as planned.
Along those lines, and building on that knowledge, you might find the work of Caldwell Esselstyn of interest. Dr. Esselstyn was a thoracic surgeon back when I was a blood bank technologist, and like most surgeons he didn't have much use for what is often termed here as 'woo'. He was asked to consider dietary alternatives to surgery, and my understanding is that he was initially skeptical, but through a controlled study he and his colleagues demonstrated that a closely followed fat free (yes, vegan) diet was as effective as bypass surgery. As hospitals make their money doing complicated and expensive procedures, my understanding is that Dr. Esselstyn's epiphany was initially met with some corporate resistance, but the resistance flagged as his successes mounted and fellow physicians had to make heart-related decisions for themselves.
Anyway, if you're interested, his website is here: http://heartattackproof.com
(BTW, my father was 'cc'ed on some family correspondence some years back where mention of this book was made - the next time I saw him he had lost 40 pounds, and he's still going strong at 81. Relating this is a reminder that I might want to modify my own lifestyle)
Please continue to cheerfully torment the credulous for many more years!
Posted by: robindch
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August 25, 2010 6:58 PM
So, looks like god is still unenthusiastic about meeting you in person? Wouldn't blame the dirty scoundrel!
Anyhow, the Atheists + Agnostics forum on boards.ie in Dublin, Ireland sends our collective greetz to you and our best wishes for a speedy recovery!
Posted by: Ichthyic
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August 25, 2010 7:00 PM
Let's just hope that there is never any need for a sequal to this thread entitled For a Few Stents More...
or
The Good Stent,
The Bad Stent,
and the Ugly Stent.
or
High Stent Drifter.
Posted by: Cath the Canberra Cook
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August 25, 2010 7:06 PM
But how do we know you're the real PZ Myers and not a copy that some mad scientist created while you were asleep? Perhaps the real PZ Myers IS dead, and you are the clone!!11!
(*hopes this passes for a joke and doesn't set off more of those arguments*)
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 25, 2010 7:18 PM
The Stent with no Name...Posted by: neurotick9
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August 25, 2010 7:22 PM
PZ Lives!!
Another nail in the coffin of christian prayer. Can it be more obvious that prayer does not work?
Posted by: scidog
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August 25, 2010 7:30 PM
sounds like a lot of fooling around,i thought they had the stint thing so pat that it was just done in the waiting room while you look through old Good Housekeeping mags..
Posted by: Phledge
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August 25, 2010 7:32 PM
HOORAY NO CABBAGE
Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi
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August 25, 2010 7:33 PM
PZ's hospital experience:
Doctor: "We're going to have to implant stents."
PZ: "Freakin' stents? How do they work?"
Doctor: "Well, first we..."
PZ: "Nevermind. I'll just watch and take notes."
Posted by: Zetetic
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August 25, 2010 7:38 PM
Congratulations PZ!
I'm glad that you were lucky enough to just need stents and your write up was hysterical.
Posted by: saerrock
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August 25, 2010 7:39 PM
Always starting with "not being dead" is good.
Hope you get well, glad it was nothing more "serious"
Posted by: lorigb
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August 25, 2010 7:53 PM
Woo, I'm happy to hear you made it through well! I hope the recovery goes quickly!
Posted by: DLC
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August 25, 2010 7:55 PM
Glad to see you survived the day.
These things are always nerve-wracking, which is why they shoot you up with enough happy-juice that getting beat with a spiked club doesn't get noticed.
Well, that and they're beating you with a spiked club.
I won't presume on your physician's turf and make suggestions on how to behave. That's your medico's bag and not mine. Besides that -- you're an adult and don't need me playing nanny. Get well soon.
Posted by: Lee Picton
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August 25, 2010 8:12 PM
You still haven't told us how many stents you had. According to one of the husbeast's therapists, anything more than six qualifies as a "full metal jacket." Husbeast has eight and is doing well. I know you are not on medicare yet, but your medical coverage should provide three visits a week of cardio rehab therapy, and if you are really lucky, after the initial 12 weeks, you are eligible for (at modest cost) twice a week maintenance indefinitely. DO IT! I am absolutely convinced that the husbeast's delay in falling off his perch (for those of you who are not aware, he also has ALS) is due in no small part to regular, monitored exercise to the degree he is able. I like the idea of getting a dog to help you lose weight; when I attended one of your lectures with the husbeast, you did look like you could stand to lose a few. Now it is not something to ignore. PZ, you are the highlight of my days; I want you around for a long time.
Posted by: Marella
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August 25, 2010 8:33 PM
Congratulations on the lack of bypass surgery and get well soon. When they say six weeks they mean six months before you really start to feel human. In six weeks you can go back to work without killing yourself, but you won't feel like it. A couple of stents is a much better idea!
I remember someone saying PZ had two stents but it wasn't straight from the horse's mouth, it was a commenter who went to visit him.
I add my exhortations to do the exercises. It has kept my father alive several years beyond his projected demise from lung disease.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 25, 2010 8:36 PM
PZ, are you home yet????
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawkduwBBgvOVyM3XoAawf8YPr8zMMI_gh_U
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August 25, 2010 8:54 PM
Glad to see you doing fine, PZ. You'll be up and wrestling gundarks in no time.
Just don't let Hitler "Sieg Heil" the nurse, OK?
Posted by: magistermundisum
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August 25, 2010 9:05 PM
Cheers to you PZ!
Posted by: GAZZA
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August 25, 2010 9:31 PM
Awesome news. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Posted by: Sam Chapman
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August 25, 2010 9:34 PM
More info please. Which vessels were stented? How many stents? It's amazing what Cardiologists can do!! I'm so glad you made it through without having to have your chest cracked!
Posted by: Ragutis
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August 25, 2010 9:41 PM
Crap. I just know I'm gonna have nightmares about Phil Plait chasing me with a razor tonight.
Glad to hear all went well. Now I can get back to reading Mary Roach's Stiff. I felt kinda weird doing so with your health in question yesterday.
BTW, I'm not quite halfway through yet, but I absolutely recommend it to anyone looking for something different and interesting to read.
Posted by: Harbo
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August 25, 2010 10:58 PM
As I sit here watching Jawa's (I will always see them thus),
I am delighted to here such good news.
Carry on healing, your minions remain ready.
Posted by: ronsullivan
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August 25, 2010 11:20 PM
The Stent with no Name...
Stents and Stentsibility?
Stent of a Woman?
(Nope, don't do it, Mary. Plz.)
Posted by: darvolution proponentsist
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August 25, 2010 11:29 PM
Onward and Upward PZ !
Note the rather large contraption in the background designed to launch phallic objects into space.
Just sayin'
Posted by: darvolution proponentsist
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August 25, 2010 11:45 PM
brent@79 re:phil's ginormous head
For clarity that was not a perspective correction directed at you but an unrelated observational snark. I just realized how it could be taken.
Apollo-geez
*shuffles off*
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/m9raRbFiyoGBxUYbC7NoRO4Cwk9c6SBaEA--#9563c
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August 25, 2010 11:50 PM
Glad to hear such wonderful news!
Recover quickly and reward the Trophy Wife for having given her such a scare.
Posted by: mcathubodva
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August 26, 2010 12:17 AM
Glad to hear you're recuperating. May all your cabbages be brassica.
Posted by: AlisonS
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August 26, 2010 12:37 AM
Not being dead is a very good thing. However your Hitler description may make sex impossible without hoots of laughter.
Posted by: lisainthesky
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August 26, 2010 12:38 AM
Hope you recover well PZ.
I'm watching you right now on my brand new Global Atheist Convention 2010 DVD!!!! Go the crocoduck tie!
Posted by: Annie
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August 26, 2010 12:41 AM
I'm glad to read that you're not dead yet. That's exactly what I came here to ask. And now I know. So I can stop praying to the FSM 24/7 and get back to watching internet porn.
Get well soon.
Posted by: Mike Elzinga
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August 26, 2010 1:36 AM
You lucked out.
Six years ago when they were wheeling me out of the catheterization procedure, the surgeon said to me, “Well, we’ve got you scheduled for a quadruple bypass 6:30 tomorrow morning.”
I had one artery (the “widow maker”) 100% blocked, two others 80% blocked, and the fourth 90% blocked. No symptoms until a sudden spike in blood pressure that alerted me to go to emergency.
My years of brisk daily walking had caused the growth of collateral arteries around the blockages. It apparently occurs in about 10% of people.
Fortunately I didn’t have a heart attack; and I still walk 2 to 5 miles per day.
Posted by: Jonathan Figdor
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August 26, 2010 1:36 AM
So glad you're not dead/dying. Instead of wasting my time praying for you, I read some of The Ancestor's Tale. I feel like you would approve. Get well soon from your friends at the Humanist Chaplaincy at Harvard!
Posted by: Doktor Zoom
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August 26, 2010 1:40 AM
Thank goodness you had Jawa doctors. The Sand People doctors have terrible bedside manner (plus, they're easily startled).
Obligatory Python: P.Z. "Two Stents" Myers.
Posted by: monado
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August 26, 2010 2:05 AM
I'm glad I made the group walk back to your hotel in Toronto instead of taking a taxi. Every little bit helps!
I'm looking forward to hearing that you and Mary are walking more and feeling great.
Posted by: azumahazuki
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August 26, 2010 3:16 AM
PZ, PLEASE, take it easy. There's more stupidity on this watery little mudball than one person can deal with, especially one who's just had multiple stents put it. Dealing with stupid is bad for the circulatory system, especially if you take it personally.
Posted by: Leigh Williams, Feminist, OM
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August 26, 2010 3:44 AM
Well, that's a relief! So happy that you cracked yourself up instead of getting cracked open by Jawas.
I occupied my time and sublimated my worry by downloading a bunch of really lovely pictures of cephalopods, plus some cool fractal art, in anticipation of making you a quilted blankey.
I guess at some point I'll make the damned thing anyway, because really, it's going to be friggin GORGEOUS and worth having even if you're all healthy and everything.
But don't hold your breath, 'cause I'm really slow and awkward at handicrafts, unlike the more talented members of the Phyberistas.
But the thought was there!
Posted by: Leigh Williams, Feminist, OM
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August 26, 2010 3:49 AM
Brownian: "Okay, could we get the religious of the world to refrain from doing anything fucked up for a fortnight?"
Oh, come on. You're wishing for the moon!
Ain't gonna happen.
Posted by: irenedelse
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August 26, 2010 6:03 AM
"This is PZ's brain. This is PZ's brain on drugs."
Mmm... Quite an improvement! (Oh, well, OK. I know, I know. I'm not going to wish for more surgery on our host. Not even if it means no more surgical Jawas or genital Hitler fantasies for the blog.) ^_^
Posted by: Bernard Bumner
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August 26, 2010 6:30 AM
Subtle boasting here?
Good to hear that your competent doctors and robust physiology were up to the task. That made your own conscious efforts much easier.
Well done!
Posted by: God
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August 26, 2010 6:44 AM
I missed you when you were in the hospital. However, that was entirely because the lack of prayers made Me disoriented and affected My aim. It was a tricky shot anyway, with all the iron chariots in the parking lot.
The question whether I could create a drug that I can't quit using Myself is just sophism and has nothing to do with anything I've been doing. I'm the Almighty, Idammit! Let's be absolutely clear. I never created one, and I wouldn't even consider using it, and I don't own a bong, and the fire and smoke the Israelites saw was something else entirely, and I didn't inhale, and it doesn't interfere with any of My divine activities, and I can quit any time I want.
Posted by: oj
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August 26, 2010 6:52 AM
Welcome in the "club", PZ!
If they put you on statins - be very sceptical!
The best advice I've found in US (I live in Norway) is a guy with a book called "Track Your Plack".
Check it out!
Small LDL particles are bad, (oxydised ones), plus something called Lp(a). Statins do nothing with those, plus they have some nasty side-effects.
Good luck anyway!
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/hairychris444#96384
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August 26, 2010 7:10 AM
Great post and glad things went well. Keyhole is way better then invasive, so it sounds like you had a great medical team too.
Glad I haven't had to go through anything like that but a (now departed) godparent had a quadruple bypass with all the trimmings and he wasn't the same again.
Anyway, if they hopped you up on morphine before operating you would have had a fantastic time after the procedure!
Posted by: Rorschach
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August 26, 2010 7:18 AM
Oj the kook,
I missed the reference to the peer-reviewed literature pointing this out? Oh wait, Big Pharma conspiracy, right?
PZ, if you get medical advice from a kook called Oj, be very sceptical.And eat your Statin.
Posted by: Janey Mack
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August 26, 2010 7:44 AM
Glad they didn't make you have the cabbage! Thanks for the grisly details--and many more thanks for telling relating them so hilariously! If I ever have to have this done (a possibility, given the family health history) I hope I remember the funny parts and not the kinda icky parts.
Anyway, very happy to see you are still alive, and still blogging. I should probably urge you to rest and recuperate, but I am actually hoping you keep up the flow of posts--which have become my main form of entertainment the last six months or so.
Posted by: Dianne
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August 26, 2010 7:46 AM
Small LDL particles are bad, (oxydised ones), plus something called Lp(a). Statins do nothing with those, plus they have some nasty side-effects.
Nothing does much for lp(a), at least not last time I checked. Statins do a great deal for LDL and some increase HDL ("good cholesterol") as well. Like any medication, they can have side effects, including liver damage and destruction of muscle tissue, but these are quite rare (though your cardiologist should have a discussion about them with you) and the mortality from statins is less than 1 in 1 million. The decrease in mortality due to cardiac disease and possibly other arterial vascular conditions is much greater than 1 in 1 million. (I'll pull up references for any of the above statements, if anyone's interested.)
Posted by: mermaid
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August 26, 2010 8:01 AM
I am glad to hear that you came through it ok and that stents did the job rather than major surgery. You must all be very relieved. Take care, keep writing, and may you be touched by His noodley appendage.
Posted by: singemonkey
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August 26, 2010 8:03 AM
Good to know you're doing ok PZ.
Posted by: Beelzebub
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August 26, 2010 8:06 AM
Oddly enough, that's exactly how it feels to have your mind uploaded to a computer. Wait, how are you making these posts? You're supposed to be sedated.
Noooooooooooooo.
Noooooooooooooo.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Posted by: Cappy
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August 26, 2010 9:15 AM
As far as statins go, the worst thing about being on them is you can't have grapefruit or grapefruit juice. I love grapefruit. It sucks.
Posted by: Evolved Dolly
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August 26, 2010 9:58 AM
Absolutely fabulous news PZ, and delivered in style!
I shall be sending a link for this post to my little sister, as a (almost) shiny brand new doctor I think she will love it! (She'll also be very jealous if you get a puppy before she does)
Now, PLEASE look after yourself and take care.
Best wishes and absolutely no prayers whatsoever for you and your family!
Posted by: ConcernedJoe
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August 26, 2010 10:18 AM
It is called "genetics" by many - la forza del destino by others. Crap happens - especially when your parents (albeit unintentionally) wired in potential events for you that ain't so good.
But as with much of life we can overcome our parents, their RCC or Lutheran indoctrination, or their John Birch Society or Gilbert & Sullivan Society membership - and their lousy genes in some areas.
We can up our odds to come out ahead of the demons that chase us from birth.. things like modern secular medicine help for sure (insert paid advertisement for atheist approaches to life's problems!).
Exercise every day so you break a sweat but make it something you can do through the ages e.g., brisk walks - force yourself to get good sleep (make conducive routines a priority) - watch diet (AVOID carbs - e.g. cut out the rice, bread, pasta helpings with meals - and of course desserts and sweets - but a bit of honey in your tea - well why not - and good fats - why not heck taste counts too to get healthy food down) - and take a balanced set of vitamins, minerals, oils like Smart Balance and Fish Oils, and that small aspirin every day [naturally if the doc says all this is OK to do with your meds].
Enjoy life and make yourself a priority too -- wishing you the best.
Posted by: ophelia.benson
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August 26, 2010 1:39 PM
@ 262 and 263 and anyone else who thinks PZ hasn't told us how many stents it was - yes he has - here -
http://www.butterfliesandwheels.org/2010/in-minneapolis-news/#comment-57934
The number is FIVE.
Posted by: Qwerty
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August 26, 2010 1:53 PM
Yes, after a recent heart attach in northern Minnesota while on vacation, I had the same procedure done at St. Mary's Hospital in Duluth. I remember the doctors and nurses operated behind some kind of curtain; so, I wondered "Where did everybody go?"
Yes, and they are obsessed with checking out the surgically inflicted wound to your groin.
PZ didn't mention the one terror which is when they removed all the bandages which often pull off lots of hair. (Ouch! I didn't come to the hospital to get a wax job!) Or maybe he isn't as hairy as I am?
PZ should be glad he didn't have his done there as this is a Catholic hospital. I am sure they would have fed him consecrated wafers with holy water to speed up his recovery. Consecrated crackers - spiritual fulfilling but always leaves you wanting more.
Posted by: KG
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August 26, 2010 2:40 PM
I take statins, knew about that, and it doesn't bother me; but prompted by your post, I did a bit of googling - and found that the culprit is a chemical called bergamottin. I love Earl Grey tea, which is flavoured with oil of bergamot (a citrus fruit from which bergamottin was first isolated). Now I'll have to find out if there's enough bergamottin in it to be a concern! Haven't found anything suggesting there is yet.
Posted by: azumahazuki
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August 26, 2010 2:40 PM
#300
5 stents. Holy shit. I almost wonder why they didn't go full-on CABG with that. This makes me really nervous. Especially since he seems to have gone RIGHT BACK to posting at full throttle on here. Stupid is bad for the heart and he faces up to it every single freaking day...
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 26, 2010 3:05 PM
Two short intro new threads, and a thread about his surgury. Three in two days. Normally, three would be a mornings work. PZ is definitely taking it easy.Posted by: Peter Beattie
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August 26, 2010 6:56 PM
Best wishes for a speedy recovery, PZ! And watch those cabbages! ;>
Posted by: Charlie Foxtrot
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August 26, 2010 8:20 PM
5 stents seems like a lot of metal... oh well - I, for one, welcome back our new cybernetic cephalopodic overlord!
Glad you're doing well and obviously still feeling up to pumping out the damning indictments on stupity that we all enjoy so much - just don't overdo it, eh?
There'll always be plenty of stupid to go around... sadly.
Posted by: Stuart
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August 27, 2010 6:33 AM
Hey PZ get well soon.
My dad has done this 4 times and now has 7 stents
and feels pretty good.
Hope it wasn't to close a shave down there...
Posted by: BBCaddict
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August 28, 2010 10:35 AM
There would be NO way that I could write a post close to this amusing if I had this done. But then I'm a wuss who gets all worked up about a damn blood draw!
I'm so glad you're doing great and are only going to get better.
And come back to Seattle soon!
-D
Posted by: WWWGJSNET
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June 18, 2011 10:51 AM
Re: Paul Zachary "PZ" Myers REST OF STORY?
Although impressed with his religious wisdom evident in an "expelled" video exchange with Richard Dawkins, I wonder what happened after his "handful of stents" procedure. PZ, was such a young man (under sixty) during related story.
There was no mention of PZ considering life-style alternatives to surgery for cardiac problems. With all respect, it was frustrating for me to see no reference to the work of Caldwell Esselstyn et al. Subsequent posts, albeit good-humored, ignored.
Stent effectiveness follow-up data does NOT bode well for those undergoing this procedure. Ultimate longevity is NOT improved for those having stents.
SEARCH "DR. CALDWELL ESSELSTYN." and "STENTS" and view "LONG" VIDEOS. Solid science. Worth viewing.
How many of us without invisible means of support give popular "medical science" a pass in such matters? I was to a meeting of an atheist group held at a leading Midwestern university in 2009. Although I appreciated the presentations, I noted that all to many of those present were obese and looked like "walking time bombs" and candidates for sudden death. Some had gigantic guts above the belt. The food and snacks served were an answer to a heart surgeon's prayer. ATHEISTS EATING JUNK.
Freethinkers in obvious good shape like Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris help our credibility. Both, for starters, APPEAR trim and healthy. I do not claim to be in a position to evaluate health of those I've never met. But it is safe to say that those giving SAD (Standard American Diet) a pass are destined for avoidable health problems.
AGAIN, WHAT HAPPENED TO PZ AFTER HIS STENTS?
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage
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June 18, 2011 10:54 AM
WTF?
Posted by: PZ Myers
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June 18, 2011 11:42 AM
I died. I died a slow, horrible death, crying out for God in my misery. And then Jesus judged me and threw me into the Lake of Fire for eternity.
Fortunately, Satan really likes me and sent me back to Earth to do his work for him.
Posted by: IslandBrewer
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June 18, 2011 11:50 AM
Ooh! Do you get vision and dental coverage?
Posted by: chigau (◦_◦)
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June 18, 2011 12:07 PM
Did you check out his website?
Holy cow!!1!!!
Posted by: BBenamara
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July 31, 2011 10:30 AM
I hate these kind of procedures in hospitals, well as long you doing ok that's very important.
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Posted by: BBenamara
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August 2, 2011 11:42 AM
terrible to go through all that, but as long you are ok now, that's what matter.
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