Pharyngula

Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM | August 29, 2010 5:43 PM

A porcupine. Enemy of tires in a UP, as they think they own the road...

Posted by: Alan B | August 29, 2010 5:48 PM

#743 previous incarnation MinnieTheFinn

You were right - and he found a cute one!

Posted by: Dania | August 29, 2010 5:50 PM

Awwwwww. So cute!

Posted by: Carlie of the lacy, gently wafting adjectives | August 29, 2010 5:51 PM

Walton darling dumpling, you are far too young to be so cynical. Or, rather, I guess you are just at the right age to be so cynical; it's only in getting older that you realize that your earlier cynicism was unwarranted. I hate piling on to the "you're too young to X" bandwagon, and you probably regret ever having told us your age, but I can lay at least 3:1 odds that yes, life will get better.

Of course, Alan Clarke. I had forcibly shoved his name from my memory.

Posted by: Carlie of the lacy, gently wafting adjectives | August 29, 2010 5:54 PM

Giant springtails, you say? Oh, how big could they possibly...*click* HOLY SHIT THOSE ARE HUGE!

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | August 29, 2010 5:57 PM

Rey Fox
My attitude is pretty similar to yours. I've been calling myself 30 for years. I try not to get too caught up in the young-is-best ideas in our society, but I confess that I was pretty proud last night when a guy who was obviously no more than 21 started hitting on me. He guessed me at 22. My reaction made him go up to 25. My reaction to that made him stop guessing. So, on the one hand, I want to embrace everything that comes with getting older, but on the other hand, I'm a hypocrite because part of the glee comes from someone thinking I'm much younger, which shouldn't really matter to me. But I like shocking people, and, as has been established, I like 21-year-olds*.

*It shouldn't be glossed over that I'm not particular about age in general. 21 or 50 doesn't make much of a difference. It's just that one of my only friends in this town is 21, so that's the age of the larger social circle when we hang out.

Posted by: pcarini | August 29, 2010 6:00 PM

I hit the big 3-0 in April, but I'd already called myself 30 for most of the previous year. It doesn't help that the average age at my work is something like 26, so I'm already and old man...

And I've been complaining about those damn kids and their shitty music since I was in high school, so that's nothing new ;)

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | August 29, 2010 6:02 PM

21 or 50 doesn't make much of a difference.

Ha! In under the wire!!
*li'l dance of glee*

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | August 29, 2010 6:12 PM

Income taxes are unconstitutional and you can successfully defend that case in court.

Just ask Kent Hovind!

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | August 29, 2010 6:14 PM

Heavy on the talk, light on the follow-through, Sven.

Posted by: Pygmy Loris | August 29, 2010 6:20 PM

I very frequently type a comment, and then decide it's TMI or otherwise inappropriate and don't post it. Don't other people do that? :-/

Oh my, yes. I've written lots of stuff then deleted it without posting. This is one of the reasons I would never post here if I was drunk. The TMI would flow like mad and then I'd wonder why no one responds to me anymore. That's one of the biggest reasons I don't drink, the other two being hangovers and money.

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) | August 29, 2010 6:23 PM

Portcullised!

Perhaps today will be the day that I catch up with the Endless Thread. It...could...happen!!!

First, a joke.

From the previous Incarnation:

The shape of a food tells you what it will most benefit in the body. For example avocados are the same shape as a uterus so they are beneficial for women's reproductive health.

The Doctrine of Signatures is alive and well, I see. That's, what? Fifteen, sixteenth century?

It was amusing to watch his shock over the couple days he was here. DaughterSpawn suggested that he seemed not to have spent much time in the Reality-Based-Universe™.

The question is, will he have the courage and curiousity to look around outside his cozy, comforting religious cocoon, or will he just seal it back shut?

A question for the Experienced Herbalogists among us; wherein lies the allergy in marijuana smoke? Is it the smoke, as an irritant, or is it in the Active Ingredients of the herb itself? I've tended to assume that it's the latter, and decided not to muck around with it in general, based on the way that the second-hand smoke makes my sinuses clog and my eyes swell shut, but is this a valid assumption on my part? I've been told that I am over-cautious with drugs licit and illicit, but after listening to my pharmacy-major roommate study for her tests, I still can't see that that is possible.

]...]and it gets grabbed by the neck and tossed locked into the pantry for the rest of the day :-(

Sounds like somebody needs to be grabbed by the neck, tossed into the pantry and locked away for the rest of the day. Sideways, with a rusty porcupine.

Now I'm wishing that I stilled played D&D or AD&D

It's never too late!

I once gave a character party a +2 Rubber Chicken, among the swag. It encouraged...creativity.

In the Bouncing Barf category, I'd like to enter my "ate and entire bag of chocolate chips followed by a large box of jawbreakers". Happened when I was about eleven; I made it to the bathroom, but seeing that the toilet seat was closed (an improbability all on its own), opted for the bath tub. The vomit went all over the bath tub interior, rebounded a certain amount back out of the bath tub and onto the floor, got pretty even coverage on the three feet of wall behind the bath tub, and spatterings from there on up to the ceiling, which was not exempted. My mother was not amused.

Posted by: Rutee, Shrieking Harpy of Dooooom | August 29, 2010 6:26 PM

What are you crazy. You don't want to come here. It's cold here and we live in igloos that are starting to melt. We also have lots of crazy hungry bears.

No you don't want to come here.

http://notalwaysright.com/big-lies-are-better-than-small-ones/1035

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage | August 29, 2010 6:35 PM

Having caught up with the last thread, I notice Hanley and the other looneytarian didn't take up my invitation to discuss economics over here.

Posted by: jeffery.g.davis | August 29, 2010 6:42 PM

He's finally lulled them into a false sense of security! One more banana and it's time to kick some a** and take some names!

Posted by: Bone Oboe | August 29, 2010 6:45 PM

"It's pretty bad when you can plainly see the "Ha ha, I've got these cretins" gleaming in his G.B.'s eyes"

Mantra:
Type, re-read, preview, re-read THEN re-preview and finally submit.

Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM | August 29, 2010 6:49 PM

Trebuchet?

Posted by: Dania | August 29, 2010 6:58 PM

Jesusland?

*googles*

Oh. I guess I will never be aware of them all...

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | August 29, 2010 7:06 PM

Jesusland?

There's also a less generous term.

Posted by: Dania | August 29, 2010 7:10 PM

a less generous term

*snickers*

Now that was funny.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | August 29, 2010 7:14 PM

Two freaking days at work with no internet and no email. I got so much done it's mind blowing. Even with two meetings with my email-obsessed boss. And the office was quiet. No sudden giggles coming from other cubicles.

And my exhibit construction area is in. Along with a laminating machine that may be more complicated than R2D2. It certainly is bigger.

---------

Cicely:

(((Wife))) reminded me of this one. In college, I lived in an old farm house which was used by the school as a dorm. One semester, I got the flu. The good news was I made it to the bathroom. The bad news was there was no way I was going to get to the toilet. I hit the sink. The vomit did a nice bank turn in the basin and sprayed out across the wall, the commode, the shower stall, the floor, and the ceiling. (((Wife))) (who was pre(((Wife))) at the time) cleaned up after me. And she still married me.

---------

I made barbecued pork for dinner (using boneless country ribs). The dry rub was 4 T salt (Kosher (just to piss off the Christians)), 1/4 cup brown sugar, some powdered thyme, dried and powdered chipotle chile, cried onion and dried garlic. The meat glazed up and was soooooo tender.

Had it with steamed yellow squash (done in the microwave (which may start up a whole 'nother discussion of the merits of nuking food)) and some good Italian bread.

And we have peaches with Ben & Jerry's Creme Brulee ice cream.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | August 29, 2010 7:20 PM

Considering PZ's age, it's more likely to be Walt Kelly's Porkypine.

Why did I expect that punchline. Oh, yes, I'm of that age too.

I have almost the complete works of Kelly and I read Pogo regularly. What does that make me?

I demand that the USC conquer ND for the good of all humanity.

If I'm not mistaken, USC did a real good job of conquering ND for the last few years. Though with the sanctions Southern Cal got hit with, they may (hopefully) be bad for a while. And Notre Dame hasn't been pleasing Touchdown Jesus for quite a few years.

Posted by: Ibis3, féministe avec un titre française de fantaisie | August 29, 2010 7:23 PM

@21 Frankly we need all the help from sane immigrants as we can get. What with our anti-knowledge, anti-science, ideological government,* a few more rational transplanted Murkins to vote against them would be welcome additions.

*Their latest plans:
- to scrap the long gun registry now that the major financial outlay is over and done with
- to create a Fox News North to ape the propaganda machine of our nuttier neighbours to the south
- to get rid of the mandatory long-form census so we'll no longer have real data to counter their made-up bullshit
- instead of spending money apportioned for the north on climate change research and ways to cope with it or help slow it down, spending it on a
bunch of fighter planes to "stare down" Russians, Danes, and Americans (all allies despite a wish to resurrect the Cold War).

Posted by: Franklin Percival | August 29, 2010 7:26 PM

Yo PZ,

I love the spiny thing, but I have to remark that it appears to be chordate. Further worry - no tentacles, albeit it may possess testicles, but I couldn't see them.

Posted by: Randomfactor | August 29, 2010 7:32 PM

By the way, my dad once ate a porcupine (Air Force survival training). He said it tasted like turpentine.

Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe | August 29, 2010 7:36 PM

In many cases the latter is incredibly unlikely and the former even more so.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | August 29, 2010 7:43 PM

Nerd:

Good taste? Good taste? Goo. . . . oh.

Cool, dude.

Posted by: llewelly | August 29, 2010 7:45 PM

Walton | August 29, 2010 11:43 AM:

But I don't think that libertarianism, properly understood, should mean supporting corporate power.

Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes | August 29, 2010 7:49 PM

I had a pocupine kebab'ed on its own quills once with a nice variety of root vegetables. The banana-fed ones are sweet and delicious.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | August 29, 2010 7:53 PM

Josh @25

Nice People ™ will exhibit a degree of substantive venom proportional to the degree to which they a) complain about the uncivil tone or taboo words used by others, and b) the degree to which they claim to exemplify civility by refraining from swearing, even if expressing the most vicious sentiments.
Example the first, courtesy of the contemptible J.J. Ramsey, who's using Ed Brayton's "Get Well, PZ" thread to write:
"Funny how a thread to expresses well-wishes about PZ turned into a discussion of how hurtful he's been. That doesn't say much good about his legacy. Actually, I have to admit that I don't really wish him that well, but I would definitely like him to live long enough to own up to his abuses and slanders".

As far as the nastiness toward the ailing PZ, that's slimy all right. First tell everyone how "funny" it is that a well-wishes thread discusses mostly how hurtful the patient has been... and then cap that with a backdoor live-longer wish so that PZ can be called to account and SUFFER more. Yeah, that's nice. I regret that the well-wisher didn't write that PZ should "live suffer long enough to own up to his fucking abuses and his goddamn slanders."

These delicate flowers of venom need lessons. We should just go over there and rewrite all their slimeball, namby pamby ill-wishes so that they pack a punch. Fucking amateurs.

Posted by: llewelly | August 29, 2010 7:57 PM

Hairhead | August 29, 2010 6:51 PM:

Everything got better as I let myself grow. Walton, you're on the far end of the Bell Curve of Social Development, as was I. Yet in the end you do develop, and in the sex, and love, and all of the horrificly ecstatic and painful complications which arise will swaddle you!

Posted by: Carlie of the lacy, gently wafting adjectives | August 29, 2010 7:58 PM

Now AE, you're going to have to put asterisks by the posts we're supposed to guess at or something, so we know when it's you and when it's you being someone else.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | August 29, 2010 8:12 PM

Consider this metaphor stolen.

Eh, I'm federal, the laminator is federal, so no copyright. The instruction manual, however, is a problem. I think the English sections are top secret. At the very lest, I can't read it.

Posted by: David Marjanović | August 29, 2010 8:17 PM

I think the English sections are top secret. At the very lest, I can't read it.

Heh. I remember watching Rambo IV with Czech subtitles on a laptop. The sound was bad enough that sometimes I had to rely on the subtitles, and, no, I don't speak Czech.

Of course, only the first half of that movie even pretended to have a plot. The second half was just *TFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*.

And so, to bed. :-)

Posted by: Hairhead | August 29, 2010 8:23 PM

llewelly@62. The key words are "let yourself grow." If you maintain the guaranteed-failure mindset of your twenties, you are, well, guaranteed failure. That seems to have happened (or rather, not happened) to you.

Posted by: Randomfactor | August 29, 2010 8:33 PM

unlikely is still better than impossible,

Which is why I still play the lotto twice a week. Winning that would allow me to play a whole *LOT* of let's-pretend.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | August 29, 2010 8:45 PM

I am taking up, sort of, 'Tis Himself's invitation to discuss economics.

First, a few observations stolen from Covert Operations an article by Jane Mayer in which she discusses the covert war of libertarian, billionaire brothers David and Charles Koch against all things liberal and/or Obama.

(I think the billionaire financing of covert, pseudo think tanks and non-profit "grassroots" citizen groups was mentioned earlier, but I wanted to go into more detail.)

With his brother Charles... David Koch owns virtually all of Koch Industries, a conglomerate, headquartered in Wichita, Kansas, whose annual revenues are estimated to be a hundred billion dollars... The Kochs operate oil refineries in Alaska, Texas, and Minnesota, and control some four thousand miles of pipeline. Koch Industries owns Brawny paper towels, Dixie cups, Georgia-Pacific lumber, Stainmaster carpet, and Lycra, among other products. Forbes ranks it as the second-largest private company in the country, after Cargill, and its consistent profitability has made David and Charles Koch—who, years ago, bought out two other brothers—among the richest men in America. Their combined fortune of thirty-five billion dollars is exceeded only by those of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett.
     The Kochs are longtime libertarians who believe in drastically lower personal and corporate taxes, minimal social services for the needy, and much less oversight of industry—especially environmental regulation...

PZ will find this offensive: the ideological network of seemingly independent organizations funded by the Kochs is known as the Kochtopus.

Greenpeace identified Koch Industries as a "kingpin of climate science denial" (See "Americans for Prosperity Foundation").

Charles Lewis, the founder of the Center for Public Integrity, a nonpartisan watchdog group, said, “The Kochs are on a whole different level. There’s no one else who has spent this much money. The sheer dimension of it is what sets them apart. They have a pattern of lawbreaking, political manipulation, and obfuscation. I’ve been in Washington since Watergate, and I’ve never seen anything like it. They are the Standard Oil of our times.”

The Koch's claim that they have nothing to do with the Tea Party, but they are having a hard time in the denial business lately. For one thing, David Koch started Americans for Prosperity in 2004:

She [Peggy Venable] explained that the role of Americans for Prosperity was to help “educate” Tea Party activists on policy details, and to give them “next-step training” after their rallies, so that their political energy could be channelled “more effectively.” And she noted that Americans for Prosperity had provided Tea Party activists with lists of elected officials to target. She said of the Kochs, “They’re certainly our people. David’s the chairman of our board....”

David and Charles' father was one of the original founders of the John Birch Society (a fact for which there may be a partial excuse in that he worked on oil refineries in Soviet Russia, only to be disillusioned when many of his Soviet colleagues were murdered or imprisoned -- giving him a bad taste of communism). The Koch brothers have shifted their father's paranoia, keeping the passion but aiming it at the U.S. government in general.

The Koch brother's political philosophy includes a belief that the New Deal was a tyrannical threat to freedom, redefining "Socialism" downward, interest in a school of Austrian economists that 'Tis Himself has debunked before, love of Friedrich Von Hayek, unfettered capitalism, and close ties with Glenn Beck. Beck and the Kochs share respect for "The Road to Serfdom," (1944) a book in which Hayek "argued that centralized government planning led, inexorably, to totalitarianism." Beck pushed this book to a #1 best seller position on Amazon.

This post is getting too long -- more later.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | August 29, 2010 8:53 PM

More on libertarianism and corporate power, American style, as personified by Charles Koch and Koch Industries. (See comment #74 for the intro to this subject.)

Charles and David also became devotees of a more radical thinker, Robert LeFevre, who favored the abolition of the state but didn’t like the label “anarchist”; he called himself an “autarchist.” LeFevre liked to say that “government is a disease masquerading as its own cure.” In 1956, he opened an institution called the Freedom School, in Colorado Springs. Brian Doherty, of Reason, told me that “LeFevre was an anarchist figure who won Charles’s heart,” ... [Charles Koch financially supported the school.]...
    Charles and David Koch became the primary underwriters of hard-line libertarian politics in America. Charles’s goal, as Doherty described it, was to tear the government “out at the root.” The brothers’ first major public step came in 1979, when Charles persuaded David, then thirty-nine, to run for public office. They had become supporters of the Libertarian Party, and were backing its Presidential candidate, Ed Clark, who was running against Ronald Reagan from the right. Frustrated by the legal limits on campaign donations, they contrived to place David on the ticket, in the Vice-Presidential slot; upon becoming a candidate, he could lavish as much of his personal fortune as he wished on the campaign. The ticket’s slogan was “The Libertarian Party has only one source of funds: You.” In fact, its primary source of funds was David Koch....
     Many of the ideas propounded in the 1980 campaign presaged the Tea Party movement. Ed Clark told The Nation that libertarians were getting ready to stage “a very big tea party,” because people were “sick to death” of taxes. The Libertarian Party platform called for the abolition of the F.B.I. and the C.I.A., as well as of federal regulatory agencies, such as the Securities and Exchange Commission and the Department of Energy. The Party wanted to end Social Security, minimum-wage laws, gun control, and all personal and corporate income taxes; it proposed the legalization of prostitution, recreational drugs, and suicide. Government should be reduced to only one function: the protection of individual rights. William F. Buckley, Jr., a more traditional conservative, called the movement “Anarcho-Totalitarianism.”

Again, post too long -- more later.

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | August 29, 2010 9:04 PM

Which is why I still play the lotto twice a week. Winning that would allow me to play a whole *LOT* of let's-pretend.

And now I'm out for real.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | August 29, 2010 9:18 PM

When the Koch brothers failed miserably in the arena of public politics in 1980, they took their libertarian agenda underground. They invested more than a hundred million dollars in purportedly independent organizations, all of which back whatever agenda would mean more money for Koch Industries and less regulation.

In later years, they spent even more. From 1998 to 2008 tax records show 48 million here, 28 million there, fifty million on lobbying, 8 million to KochPAC, 1 million to the Republican Governors Association, etc. Koch Industries outdoes all other energy companies in political contributions since 2006. And this is just the tip of the iceberg, this is what we can see. Anonymous personal donations to non-profit groups are not required to be reported.

On the Democratic side, George Soros is the only comparison, but all of his contributions are transparent.

The non-profits to which the Kochs give include those that try to put an end to environmental regulation, and those that try to lower taxes for industry. A former friend of Charles Koch speculates that, "Perhaps he has confused making money with freedom."

Since 1980, the Kochs have not just fought regulation and taxes, but have pushed a libertarian agenda. They fund the Institute for Justice, the Institute for Humane Studies (funds libertarian academics), the Bill of Rights Institute, Americans for Prosperity, The Cato Institute, the Mercatus Center in Georgia, etc. They pay to have experts write position papers:

"If we’re going to give a lot of money, we’ll make darn sure they spend it in a way that goes along with our intent,” he [David Koch] told Doherty. “And if they make a wrong turn and start doing things we don’t agree with, we withdraw funding."

Thomas McGarity, a law professor at the University of Texas, who specializes in environmental issues, told me that “Koch has been constantly in trouble with the E.P.A., and Mercatus has constantly hammered on the agency.” An environmental lawyer who has clashed with the Mercatus Center called it “a means of laundering economic aims.” The lawyer explained the strategy: “You take corporate money and give it to a neutral-sounding think tank,” which “hires people with pedigrees and academic degrees who put out credible-seeming studies. But they all coincide perfectly with the economic interests of their funders.”

Apologies to Walton for examining only radical right-wing libertarians of a religious bent in this discussion. It's just one example, one topic, so don't beat me up, please.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 29, 2010 9:24 PM

Randomfactor:

The world looked bleak to me at 20, too. It led to my wanting to get married in the worst way, and I managed to do that. 33 years later, I'm just too tired most days.

That does not mean you need to foist your brand of misery onto a 21 year old.

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) | August 29, 2010 9:28 PM

Ah, nasal barfing! A speciality of mine. Vomit up in the sinuses is such an experience.

Do you realize how hard it is to intentionally send water through your nose?

This is why there are neti pots.

or checking my tonsils with your tongue is not sexy

Gag reflex? Could have unexpected outcome.

Call it an "unexpected outcome", call it an "editorial comment".... :D

If you want the 'demented fuckwads' lurking around Manhattan with their anti-mosque billboards to implode from trying to figure out which way to run, tell them that if the mosque application fails that the Richard Dawkinds Foundation has considered buying the property to turn it into an Atheist resource centre and library.

ROFLMAO!!!

Well, I doubt I'd ever consider having kids. I don't think I would be a good parent. I'm not the most emotionally stable person in the world, and I don't really have any idea how to raise children. I'd be terrified of inadvertently passing all my weird psychological complexes on to them.

Walton, I'm not the most emotionally stable person in the world, and my son turned out just fine; not just in my, admittedly biased, opinion. And as for having an idea of how to raise children...I understand that, in theory, we're supposed to learn our parenting skills from our parents' parenting of us; that's how domestic abuse perpetuates itself, after all. In my case, it was more a case of learning how not to parent from my mother. It takes some work, and a willingness to not knee-jerk react when Junior/Juniette jumps up and down vigorously on your very last nerve. You ain't stupid, I'd bet you could work it out. :)

(I also strongly suspect that raising one child is not the same as raising five. Work out your limits ahead of time.)

Finally caught up with the Old thread; now on to the New!

Posted by: Jorge | August 29, 2010 9:30 PM

I stopped for some roadside Porcupine Kill the other day and all I came away with was some quills. It just wasn't "mature" enough for Red Eye Gravy, but anyone for quills?

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | August 29, 2010 9:34 PM

I survived my sleep study, but sleeping with 30 wires and assorted other tubes and bands is not restful. Plus my room was right next to an air conditioning unit that made a fuckton of noise every time it turned on. And if, as the sleep tech told me, 80-90% of the people who come in for the 7 hour test have obstructive sleep apnea, I have to wonder whether it's cost-effective to use the test, or whether one might reasonably decide that going right to the CPAP calibration was more cost-effective. (Thoughts, Rorschach?)

I think that someday the slutty non-monogamous older folks of Pharyngula should undertake a devirginization campaign for the pleasantly-mannered younger ones. Being monogamous (albeit older), I cannot include myself in the crew, but I'll provide moral support, cheering, and occasional links to bawdy sites like Lady Clankington's.

I'm going to start sewing the Hitch afghan during Bad Universe - I figure that's a good time to feel connected to the various PhyberSquad types.

@ David M - What are you going to be in Pittsburgh for? A field trip might be in order, which could be the excuse to have a meal with you, since I'm unlikely to come to Paris any time soon.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 29, 2010 9:40 PM

I actually know where a decaying porcupine* is - on county road 52 off St. Joe's road. Just in case anyone wants to pick it up and ram it sideways in someone.

*Roadkill.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 29, 2010 9:44 PM

Ogvorbis, uh huh. You can keep the skunk.

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | August 29, 2010 9:45 PM

@ Ogvorbis -

One of the things that the Crazy Homeschoolers™ did that freaked our our Normal Teen Visitor™ was to spot a dead juvenile fox on the road a few hundred feet from our house. It'd been dead less than a couple hours (i.e. not swollen or rigor mortised, almost no flies), so we stopped, DaughterSpawn got out with trashbags and collected it, and we took it home to the freezer for later taxidermy or rotting chamber treatment. (DaughterSpawn is the rabies-vaccinated family member.)

Normal Teen Visitor™ was pretty shocked, and more so when he learned that we had other critters in the freezer.

Then DaughterSpawn and her good friend found a cat skeleton in the woods behind our house and spent an hour collecting the bones, down to the tiny toe bones and claws. I felt a little sorry for the guy at that point, but when he left, he was busy scheming as to when he could come back and whether he could bring his brother or a friend.

Posted by: llewelly | August 29, 2010 9:48 PM

The Koch brothers, S. Fred Singer, Fred Seitz, Glenn Beck, Richard Lindzen, The Heartland Institute, The Cato Institute, The George C Marshall Institute, The American Enterprise Institute ...

The leadership of AGW denial has many connections to libertarianism. It will be interesting to see how future generations view libertarianism after global warming has forced hundreds of millions to flee their homelands, has slain millions, and has forced the rebuilding of tens of trillions of dollars worth of infrastructure.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | August 29, 2010 9:51 PM

Unfortunately, I've been aware of the Koch brothers for years. They are exemplars of "I've got mine, fuck you" libertarianism.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 29, 2010 9:51 PM

I saw a decaying bobcat once. On highway 61. Don't know about fucking oneself with a decaying bobcat though.

It would be a feat.

Now you could fuck a decaying bobcat. That's another thing.

Go fuck a putrid bobcat has a pretty good ring to it.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 29, 2010 9:54 PM

Ogvorbis, hey, it's your find! Plenty of squarshed skunks around here too.

Ol'Greg:

I will now wait to insult some one by informing them that there is a decaying porcupine on county road 52 off St. Joe's road and they should really consider fucking themselves with it.

It would certainly shut someone up. ;)

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | August 29, 2010 9:57 PM

HEY!! NO PLAYING WITH FOOD!!

Decaying porcupines are freinds, not food!

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) | August 29, 2010 10:05 PM

Awesome. I want photos.

Sorry, no can do, David. It was on the order of 40 years ago, and I'm reallyreallyreally sure that my mother didn't want to immortalise the occasion.

If you're the Vendor Of The Pudding then all we need is a Keeper Of The Cheese and a Lemon Merchant.

I wear the Cheese; it does not wear me.

Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM | August 29, 2010 10:08 PM

Here in the suburbs/exburbs, I see dead possums and raccoons all the time, with a few cats and skunks thrown in for good measure. Dogs are normally kept on leashes, so they aren't hit too often.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 29, 2010 10:14 PM

Watching Bad Universe. Pretty fun, much cool explody stuff.

Posted by: Bone Oboe | August 29, 2010 10:17 PM

My goodness, I step away to plunder Kindle freebies and the thread has turned to talk of interspecies necrophilia, with hints of geo-caching? Someone make ready the Smelling Salts, and clear the Fainting Couch...I'm going down.

Don't think I'll need the Clutching Pearls, though.

The smell was so strong...

Speaking of strong smells; I've become a greenhorn medical assistant and found myself sitting in on a fairly heinous buttock abcess last week. As the doctor was administering the local for the lancing, he raised an eyebrow at the bubbles that were burbling up the syringe barrel. He proceded to have at the thing with a scalpel and wonder of fucking wonders it began to his and splutter as more trapped gas made it's way to the surface; making a Winnie the Pooh "Rumbly in my tumbly" sound: "Thhhh-ssss-sss-th-sss-thhhhhh." And all the while I thought: "How much worse could the smell get?"

Then he gave it a squeeze and with that squeeze came a crescendo of stench that would have had carrion birds circling the building, I'm sure. Weakly constituted maggots might have gagged. And then I had to catch some of the effluence for culture. It was about this time that my breakfast decided that it wanted urgent words with my shoes. So I got the swab for culture into it's bag and quickly excused myself for about 6 minutes of deep breathing, outside that is; puncutated with wretching.

Back to the Kindle Plunder.

Posted by: llewelly | August 29, 2010 10:18 PM

David Marjanović | August 29, 2010 8:05 PM:

[McCthulhu, Vendor of the Pudding | August 29, 2010 5:56 PM:]

That's really saying something that Germany has become more appealing than the current religiopolitik climate of the USA.

Eh, a lot can happen in 65 years.

Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes | August 29, 2010 10:27 PM

(((Wife))) (a (forensic) entomologist) sometimes works out at a body farm studying insects involved in human decomposition. As it turns out, 105°F (40.6°F) is too hot for blowflies. So if she puts a body out when it is that warm, until the gut ruptures, very little decomposition takes place. Instead of decomposing, the body cooks. The smell is not unlike spare-ribs. (((Wife))) finds this actually much more disgusting than putrifaction (and the downside is that barbeque ribs are no longer allowed in the house (which is pretty disappointing because I smoke a good rack)).

---------

Carlie #64: Asterisks would make it look too much like my own thing (I use them far too much). I’ll just end with “game on”.

Posted by: Rorschach | August 29, 2010 10:30 PM

I have to wonder whether it's cost-effective to use the test, or whether one might reasonably decide that going right to the CPAP calibration was more cost-effective.

Personally, I'd want every other avenue explored before I 'd resign myself to a CPAP mask, stop smoking/lose weight/don't eat late/no alcohol/try a Golf ball sewn into your pyjama top et cetera...

Posted by: Nurse Ingrid | August 29, 2010 10:31 PM

I love to use Walt Kelly words for animals whenever possible. He was a genius of wordplay. Not just porkypines, but caterpiggles, busterflies, turkles, crinkets, and for PZ, octopots.

And we, of course, are human beans.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 29, 2010 10:35 PM

Pretty sweet AE. Pretty sweet.

Some one I know had told me once that it smells like cooking bacon.

:/

Posted by: Ribozyme | August 29, 2010 10:46 PM

Ogvorbis

I LOVE everything Vivaldi and all his vocal works aré fantastic. Check this in YouTube, the start of the Beatus Vir conducted by Rinaldo Alessandrini:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2zjyhJWQSg

The poster, "carosaxone" has the complete work in video.

The Italians lately have been doing such an enormously fantastic job recording Vivaldi and most other baroques one has to wonder why nobody thought of playing them that way before. And now they are recording little known baroque Italian authors, some of which are magnificent. Sarro or Sarri (people disagree on the spelling of his name), for instance, is beyond belief.

Also check anything by Vivaldi recorded by Andreas Scholl. I get tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat just thinking about his recordings. Like the "filiae maestae Jerusalem" or this movement of the Nisi Dominus:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVh78k2ZzYk

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | August 29, 2010 10:56 PM

@Rorschach - the problem is that I'm fairly sure that my apnea is structural, since it's been going on more or less since I was in my early 20s, at least per Mr. M's report, and I was at a way lower (like ideal) BMI then. I'm not all that excited about the prospect of a CPAP, but I'm even less excited by the cardiac/hormonal stuff associated with apnea. I'll ask about tonsil/adenoid surgery, though, and I'm going to be losing weight starting this fall.

Posted by: ambulocetacean | August 29, 2010 11:04 PM

Worst atheist blog post ever. I feel like crying now.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 29, 2010 11:06 PM

So, I finally broke down and bought an expensive, thick, name-brand memory foam topper for my old mattress. Been waking up with back aches, but I can't afford a new bed right now. I really, really hope this does the trick, since I've got that achy-lower-back-pain-down-the-thigh thing that always indicates I'm sleeping poorly.

/old man

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 29, 2010 11:12 PM

Benjamin Geiger:

I've got more strikes against me than anyone should be forced to bear (fat, socially inept, fat, (relatively) poor, fat, geeky, fat, slovenly, fat...) and there's really no way to fix everything.

Add to those: "Consistently self-pitying in public, so much so that others might suspect you were trolling for compliments and sympathy."

Honestly, Benjamin. From your posts here, it's perfectly obvious you're smart, and you're capable of being witty, funny, and engaging. But you are just unbearable when you have a pity party. That, more than anything else, is what's likely putting potential dates off.

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | August 29, 2010 11:17 PM

"Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?" - Homer Simpson

Posted by: Bone Oboe | August 29, 2010 11:19 PM

cicely @ #106

I wear the Cheese; it does not wear me.

Found and tried a small wedge of this from a local grocer. I wore some of it and the craving I get for it wears on me. I've got an Ashland sourdough griddle cheese sandwhich in mind for a hunk of the next wedge I lay hands on.
Can't as far as Curly does.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y6YPjcQJ4g

Posted by: Bone Oboe | August 29, 2010 11:26 PM

"Keeper Of The Cheese and a (The) Lemon Merchant."

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqC1kuOnL_s&feature=related

Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe | August 29, 2010 11:31 PM

Which is why I still play the lotto twice a week. Winning that would allow me to play a whole *LOT* of let's-pretend.

some people won't ever have relationships because of some actual un-bridgeable flaws. Walton has only bridgeable ones, AFAICT. So your personal experience with whatever unbridgeable flaw keeps you from finding someone who likes you is less relevant than the experience of all the flawed, fugly and socially awkward people who have found someone.

That does not mean you need to foist your brand of misery onto a 21 year old.

Posted by: Hairhead | August 29, 2010 11:35 PM

Josh, about your aching back, I have a suggestion. I had painful (!) back and horrible back spasms for 17 years. And then on an unrelated matter I had my back X-rayed, from the side, and bingo! My vertebrae were not rectangular in cross-section, but triangular. I had early-onset atypical osteoporosis!

A differential X-ray then revealed I had the hips (literally) of a 75 year old woman, and I was in danger of breaking my hip. Aargh!

So, onto the Fosamax. And guess what. After SEVENTEEN YEARS of back spasms, I now have not had a back spasm in 12 months (15 months since starting the Fosamax). Have it checked out, really. The total misery of my life has fallen considerably since I stopped having back spasms.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 29, 2010 11:37 PM

Wowbagger:

where he went to the effort of measuring the sizes of different knives in order to fully understand how much damage one might do when inserted sideways,

It's unhinged, but I literally snort with laughter every time I'm reminded of that. It's like something out of a John Waters picture.

i.e. Pete 'imagine if you had a sacred book bound with the skin of a recently deceased loved one' R**ke) territory.

Don't forget the knee-roll.

Posted by: Ichthyic | August 29, 2010 11:41 PM

before I just thought he was an annoying pissant, but after the rusty knife debacle at whiny pissant central - where he went to the effort of measuring the sizes of different knives in order to fully understand how much damage one might do when inserted sideways, he moved fully into scary kook

yup. that thread was an eye opener in many ways.

It also became the Kwokster's focal point for his rants for the next several months too.

I'm sure he still mentions it on PT whenever the remotest opportunity arises.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 29, 2010 11:45 PM

Ich:

I'm sure [Kw*k] still mentions it on PT whenever the remotest opportunity arises.

I haven't been to Panda's Thumb in a while. Last I checked, they were still putting up with him, though a lot of his posts were sent to the Bathroom Wall. Are they still indulging him there? If so, why?

Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe | August 29, 2010 11:45 PM

Honestly, Benjamin. From your posts here, it's perfectly obvious you're smart, and you're capable of being witty, funny, and engaging. But you are just unbearable when you have a pity party. That, more than anything else, is what's likely putting potential dates off.

Point is, Walton is not in his boat; yet. give him a few more years of this mindfuck he's playing with himself, and he'll end up just as mentally screwed up, and then he'll be right that he won't be able to find anyone.

Posted by: Patricia, OM | August 29, 2010 11:48 PM

Looks like Ed has called a halt to the stoopid over there.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 29, 2010 11:49 PM

Ah, gotcha PZ. Still, even when he's not in full Kwok Orbit ™, his affected writing style (it's way beyond twee)is enough to send me to the liquor cabinet. Others must have a higher tolerance. :-)

Posted by: ronsullivan | August 29, 2010 11:57 PM

Josh: Nice People ™ will exhibit a degree of substantive venom proportional to the degree to which they a) complain about the uncivil tone or taboo words used by others, and b) the degree to which they claim to exemplify civility by refraining from swearing, even if expressing the most vicious sentiments.

Shorter: Nice People are Nice Guys™ of all sexes.

I really liked how that mook was blaming PZ for what mook was throwing at him. "See What You Made Me Do!" is a Nice Guy™ staple.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 30, 2010 12:02 AM

PZ:

Jesus. That JJ Ramsey kook has been emailing me, and I just wrote back telling him in no uncertain terms that he's a lunatic.

Ugh. My sympathies. Ramsey is a certifiable creep, as in scary creepy. He's the one who put actual thoughts into how one would go about fucking someone sideways with a knife. That was one of creepiest things I have ever read.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 30, 2010 12:07 AM

Does anyone have a recipe for no-cook dill pickles? Think Nathan's or Claussen. I like my pickles crisp and sharp, so I always buy the refrigerated ones that haven't been boiled so they can keep on the shelf (blech).

Thanks!

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | August 30, 2010 12:12 AM

PZ, aren't you supposed to be resting or something, instead of contemplating your various trolls?

Posted by: Ichthyic | August 30, 2010 12:15 AM

Are they still indulging him there? If so, why?

I've actually been paying a bit of attention the last couple of weeks.

I think John's on his last legs. He seems to be getting worse.

more and more people are recognizing he has some sort of underlying pathology that needs to be dealt with, and are rightly recommending he seek treatment.

maybe the volume will eventually get him to actually do something about it.

I'm genuinely curious if enough people tell someone they have a problem, whether they will actually do something about it, or whether the underlying mental illness actively prevents them from doing so.

depression, for example, can feedback that way.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 30, 2010 12:20 AM

Mattir:

PZ, aren't you supposed to be resting or something, instead of contemplating your various trolls?

A little hard to do when you're being emailed; besides, Ramsey is one freaky motherfucker, truly a frightening person. Maybe you weren't around then, but he's a piece of work, and that's a hell of an understatement.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 30, 2010 12:26 AM

PZ:

I'm just also experiencing some weird aggravations from the pile of medications I'm on now.

I hope they aren't major aggravations, I've had meds which have given me serious aggro; that's no fun at all.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 30, 2010 12:37 AM

Mattir - msg for you on the Pharyngula Phan Klub Ravelry page.

Posted by: ambulocetacean | August 30, 2010 12:42 AM

Icthyic,

Yeah, I'd like to see some other Australian atheists pitch for the job. You're a Kiwi, aren't you? How about Rorschach, Kel, Wowbagger, Bride, John Morales and the rest? You can all write rings around him.

It might take a good sales pitch to overcome the advantage of incumbency, but it wouldn't be that hard to explain what the issues are and how he just doesn't get them. Also, I know for a fact that the National Times editors are going to be reviewing their blog roster once this federal election saga ends.

I'm not in a position to pitch for it at the moment because I might have something else coming up. If that doesn't work out, though, I'll definitely have a crack.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 30, 2010 12:50 AM

After the 2nd course of the drugs I had a voice change and some whiskers!

Strangely, the spanking couch seems even more alluring now. . .

xxoo

Posted by: Patricia, OM | August 30, 2010 1:01 AM

Strangely, the spanking couch seems even more alluring now...

It's that Naked Bunny With a Whip. I have the bosom, he has the muscle, and if you have the money honey I have the whiskers... she said in a dark chocolate voice.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 30, 2010 1:11 AM

It's that Naked Bunny With a Whip. I have the bosom, he has the muscle,

And I've got the moves baby, you've the motion. . .

/annoy Sven di Milo

Posted by: llewelly | August 30, 2010 1:25 AM

pcarini | August 30, 2010 12:39 AM:

I'm sorry this dude chose exactly right now to start being extra creepy, and I have to wonder at his timing.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 30, 2010 1:35 AM

pcarini, Ramsey is an obsessive creep. When it comes to him and timing, there's nothing to wonder about.

Posted by: pcarini | August 30, 2010 1:42 AM

It's that Naked Bunny With a Whip. I have the bosom, he has the muscle, and if you have the money honey I have the whiskers..

I know I'm a bit late, but this is the best thing I've read all week :)

Posted by: pcarini | August 30, 2010 2:15 AM

Apparently you'd rather see me under the spanking couch, it seems ;) Yo ho!

Speaking of grog, I hope everybody is aware that International Talk Like a Pirate day almost upon us? Sept. 19th it be! Party like it's 1799!

Posted by: Aquaria | August 30, 2010 3:01 AM

Josh:

No Cook pickles

My mouse and trackpad are being weird, so the link will have to do.

Posted by: MadScientist | August 30, 2010 3:33 AM

I've always liked porcupines (so long as they don't make their home in my yard). I don't think I'd be game enough to feed a baby porcupine like that though; those beasts have razor sharp teeth.

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | August 30, 2010 3:57 AM

@ambulocetacean, #128: I don't see how you can feel bad about that article. The whole thing is full of SIWOTI. I think Christopher Hitchens covered the whole 'evil atheist regime' tripe in one of the closing chapters of God Is Not Great. When these charming locales reach the totalitarian level of government they can no longer claim to be atheist, as the level of woo and kookiness to keep the government afloat essentially becomes religious in nature, even coming up with all sorts of bizarre rituals to accompany.

Scenarios like those in the article are the best of cautionary tales. They remind one what happens when people become too complacent, ignorant or under-educated to recognize they're letting the inmates run the asylum. Whether it's Pol Pot claiming a complete recleansing of the society will create a utopia (holy fuck is that woo) or Tea Baggers thinking everyone needs to become a Jesus freak (like we haven't seen the best of theocracies in action already...they don't cause death or suffering AT ALL!), you keep vigilant, you mock them profusely and if they get too arrogant, like they are now, maybe it's time to organize a bit better to present a united front. I've already started dropping money into the kitty at MRFF and I'm looking for more rationalist charities to contribute to, and likely volunteer with as soon as my little girl gets old enough to attend school during the day.

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | August 30, 2010 5:29 AM

ambulocetacean: Nah, I wasn't accusing you of SIWOTI, it was Gross for his crap presentation. As you said, if he knows that atheism isn't at fault, don't wait 'til the end of the piece to present it, otherwise the 'Short Attention Span Theatre' crowd who don't make the end can have another 'AHA! Atheists are worse than Catholics.' moment. If he's the public face, Aussie atheism needs a public facelift. You said it depressed you, but it really shouldn't. Given the ebullient dickishness of some of the Aussie posters on Pharyngula, there is plenty to be upbeat about regarding the state of skepticism in the land down undah. Heck, some of the commenters here should be doing Gross's job.

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | August 30, 2010 6:03 AM

Everyone knows it's Windy: Preferably some sort of giant hybrid, and with rabies.

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | August 30, 2010 6:18 AM

Oh yeah, I know there are lots of fabulous atheists down here. Like you say, it's just a pity that one of them isn't doing Dick's job.

If he's taken to task enough for his lazy attempts, they very well may be, and soon.

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | August 30, 2010 6:26 AM

Walton: Port? I thought you were leaning Starboard?

Well, at least you didn't yell, 'GOATS ON FIRE!!!' and really make a fool of yourself.

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | August 30, 2010 6:40 AM

Another example of horrible abuse by the criminal "justice" system, this time in Greece:

Andrew Symeou, a British national, was arrested and prosecuted in Greece on very, very thin grounds. The witnesses claim to have been physically assaulted in police custody and coerced into implicating him.

On the same day, news that at least 88,500 prison inmates in the US were sexually assaulted between 2008-9. (And that's only the number of assaults that were reported: the true number is likely to be much greater.)

I don't know why people can't see that mass incarceration has been an epic disaster, has caused vast amounts of pointless harm and suffering, and has done little or nothing to actually reduce crime. Yet the world is still full of ignorant morons who think we need to be "tougher on crime" and send more people to prison. It's incredibly depressing.

Posted by: Carlie of the lacy, gently wafting adjectives | August 30, 2010 7:27 AM

How does one "unbutton", exactly?

It sort of involves simultaneously deciding "to hell with what anyone else thinks, I'm going to be who I'm happy being", and also "humanity is fascinating and wonderful in its varieties and oddness and I want to get to know these people better". It's a bit contradictory, looking at yourself enough to settle on your persona and how you want to present but also having fun with and paying attention to others without regard for how you come off. This is why it takes some of us so long to figure it out.

Posted by: llewelly | August 30, 2010 8:02 AM

Walton | August 30, 2010 6:40 AM:

On the same day, news that at least 88,500 prison inmates in the US were sexually assaulted between 2008-9. (And that's only the number of assaults that were reported: the true number is likely to be much greater.)

I don't know why people can't see that mass incarceration has been an epic disaster,

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 30, 2010 8:18 AM

Hehe. Porcupine is cute :)

I spent about a half hour just now responding to am opinion article that was linked from the Friendly Atheist.

The woman got so much wrong, and failed to cite examples of her supposed 'intolerance.' I responded in a calm manner, so hopefully she'll reply (doubtful since my opening sentence is 'I'm an atheist.')

Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes | August 30, 2010 8:33 AM

Carlie @206: Yes, yes, yes.

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 30, 2010 8:46 AM

@Walton:

Meh. You might be right.

I just wish I could stop wanting what I can't have. :-(

You're a very attractive guy. You're smart. You're young.

You can get it. You just have to look for it. I went looking for it and I'm going out on a second date next week.

Posted by: David Marjanović | August 30, 2010 9:00 AM

Part 2 of 2.

only Ramsey has managed to turn his self-righteous offense into a multi-year simmer

I wondered if the anti-you blogs count as multi-year simmers. Well, no. The last entry of PhaWRONGula (phawrongula.blogspot.com) is over 2 years old, and the entries on the last page aren't hostile at all. ~:-| PZ Myers Exposed changed its name to The REAL Jesusland (realjesusland.blogspont.com) sometime and hasn't been updated for a year; comments aren't allowed, BTW. And pharyngulatopics.blogspot.com no longer exists at all.

Couple hundred democrats moving to Florida or Ohio could make a huge difference.

I don't quite think so.

What is really needed in the US is a way to fucking count the votes. It never ceases to baffle and flabbergast me how stupidly this is handled in the Land of the Free.

Don't forget the knee-roll.

Please let me forget the knee-roll already!

I've had meds which have given me serious aggro; that's no fun at all.

Aggro? :-þ

(Check out the next page, too.)

Wow... I acted like an idiot on the thread last night. Note to self: don't post after drinking port.

:-|

Get over it, really.

If all else fails, you're pseudonymous.

I just wish I could stop wanting what I can't have. :-(

I just wish you'd stop believing you can't have any – at least wait till you reach my age!!!

Another joke - you need to look carefully: Have you found Jesus?

LOL.

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | August 30, 2010 9:25 AM

KG@#13:
For some years that was one of the 3-4 songs I knew on the guitar (Knockin on Heaven's Door, Ripple, and I could fake a 12-bar blues in E). Too bad that version alters one of the best rhymes in all lyricdom:

you don't have to look and you don't have to see
'cause you can feel it in your ol-factory

Speaking of which, we got two big stinky snappers yesterday, both of them 15 kg +.

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 30, 2010 9:41 AM

@Walton:

Bah - I was 17 the last time I went on a date. Took me 9 years to get out of a big slump. It happens. You lose your mojo. I had none until I realized I was bisexual and have gender dissonance, and look at me now! Second date with a really cute, really sweet guy soon.

Don't give up :D

Posted by: Ribozyme | August 30, 2010 9:47 AM

MinnieTheFinn @ #193

Yes, Jaroussky is great and he sings Vivaldi with this pathos that leaves you trembling, but his voice sounds too much like a woman's for a countertenor. One wants to hear it is a man singing or what's the point of a countertenor? Besides, he's too good looking for his own good and that's helping him become too much of a pop star, something of a baroque Pavaroti who isn't fat neither ugly. Call me a purist if you like.

Looking for videos in YouTube to include in my last comment drove me to stumble on some MARVELOUS Italian baroque composers that I had never had heard of before. Just search "Chiara Banchini" or "Ensemble 415" and everything she has conducted/played (she's an enormously talented violinist that was doing what makes one swoon over Biondi or Carmignola way before they started doing it) with them is beyond words.

Posted by: Cannabinaceae | August 30, 2010 10:02 AM

the Stench O' Death

Oddly, there was almost no stink whatsoever, except the typical beach smell. However, there was some non-odiferous something that really made me want to hurl. Maybe similar to the stuff they use in the Viking Museum in York?

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 10:18 AM

Well, I more-or-less gave up looking when I was seventeen. This may, admittedly, have been a little premature.

I hate you a little too.

Just so you know.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 10:24 AM

By that analogy, I'm the bastard child of Yoko Ono and William Hung.

By that analogy I'm a child prodigy no one wants to hear from now and is most likely to drive into a shopping mall on a coke fueled bender and haul her fat ass into a closed shoe store demanding a drink of water before the cops haul her into rehab for the 45th time.

Posted by: AJ Milne OM | August 30, 2010 10:27 AM

Oddly, there was almost no stink whatsoever, except the typical beach smell. However, there was some non-odiferous something that really made me want to hurl. Maybe similar to the stuff they use in the Viking Museum in York?

Weird. I've never been anywhere near a dead whale, but I have read reports (rotting blue whale, specifically) wherein:

. It does stink

. The retch impulse is incredible.

... working theory: whatever makes you want to retch doesn't actually stink, and is more persistent (more precisely: starts sooner than, or lingers longer than) than the actual smell?

Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes | August 30, 2010 10:35 AM

By that analogy I'm a child prodigy no one wants to hear from now and is most likely to drive into a shopping mall on a coke fueled bender and haul her fat ass into a closed shoe store demanding a drink of water before the cops haul her into rehab for the 45th time.

I have always suspected that we were somehow related. Thanks for the confirmation. I think you are ready for a little family secret. When the cops approach, take a swing at the one who appears to be the largest and angriest. It is the icing on the cake.

Posted by: Ye Olde Blacksmith | August 30, 2010 10:46 AM

Quick question:
My mother needs to gain weight as quickly as possible before starting chemotherapy. Can anyone point me to a reliable source(s) of information towards that end?

And, please, no cancer quack woo-woo.
Thanks in advance!

Posted by: Katrina, radicales féministes athées | August 30, 2010 11:00 AM

Cannabinaceae:

You mean, like this?

Posted by: David Marjanović | August 30, 2010 11:06 AM

For dating, you're not going out to find the person you're spending the rest of your life with, you're just going out for mild amusement and if things go right along the way, maybe some snogging. You find a long-term companion only if you build up enough admiration and respect for the person you started dating because you found out you had a good connection over a period of time. Don't make the mistake of thinking the process is reversed.

Reversed in what way?

in the US, most elections are supervised by state Secretaries of State and local city and county officials, who are, in general, themselves popularly elected on a partisan ticket (creating a fairly obvious conflict of interest).

Worse. Kenneth "Katherine" Blackwell, who counted the votes of Ohio in 2004 on his desktop, was the head of the committee to "reelect" Captain Unelected. Apparently, that's legal.

For once in my life, I'm actually speechless.

Perhaps he was a coprophiliac and somehow managed to believe everyone else was, too? Or at least enough other people were that he could take the risk?

Or he was just bugfuck nuts.

And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain.

I doubt that. Fat is more concentrated food, but that doesn't necessarily make it easier to eat more of it.

I recommend artificial sweeteners because they trigger hunger attacks (which is why they're allowed in pig fattening). Then, only sweet stuff to drink, and only stuff with corn syrup in it to eat. When you really can't stand the sweetness anymore, then switch to fat alone! And salt, so you need to drink more sweet stuff.

Posted by: Chgo_Liz | August 30, 2010 11:15 AM

KG @ #213:

Hah! I *knew* that was going to be LWIII's Dead Skunk before I clicked on it!

Posted by: Lynna, OM | August 30, 2010 11:34 AM

Koch Industries and the Smithsonian:

The David H. Koch Hall of Human Origins, at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of Natural History, is a multimedia exploration of the theory that mankind evolved in response to climate change. At the main entrance, viewers are confronted with a giant graph charting the Earth’s temperature over the past ten million years, which notes that it is far cooler now than it was ten thousand years ago. Overhead, the text reads, “HUMANS EVOLVED IN RESPONSE TO A CHANGING WORLD.” The message, as amplified by the exhibit’s Web site, is that “key human adaptations evolved in response to environmental instability.” Only at the end of the exhibit, under the headline “OUR SURVIVAL CHALLENGE,” is it noted that levels of carbon dioxide are higher now than they have ever been, and that they are projected to increase dramatically in the next century. No cause is given for this development; no mention is made of any possible role played by fossil fuels. The exhibit makes it seem part of a natural continuum. The accompanying text says, “During the period in which humans evolved, Earth’s temperature and the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere fluctuated together.”...
     Such ideas uncannily echo the Koch message. The company’s January newsletter to employees, for instance, argues that “fluctuations in the earth’s climate predate humanity,” and concludes, “Since we can’t control Mother Nature, let’s figure out how to get along with her changes.”
     Joseph Romm, a physicist who runs the Web site ClimateProgress.org, is infuriated by the Smithsonian’s presentation. “The whole exhibit whitewashes the modern climate issue,” he said. “I think the Kochs wanted to be seen as some sort of high-minded company, associated with the greatest natural-history and science museum in the country. But the truth is, the exhibit is underwritten by big-time polluters, who are underground funders of action to stop efforts to deal with this threat to humanity. I think the Smithsonian should have drawn the line.”
     Cristián Samper, the museum’s director, said that the exhibit is not about climate change, and described Koch as “one of the best donors we’ve had, in my tenure here, because he’s very interested in the content, but completely hands off.”

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 11:52 AM

And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain

Don't nobody suck on my nose!

Posted by: Rorschach | August 30, 2010 12:09 PM

Don't nobody suck on my nose!

It is a pretty nose though.

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | August 30, 2010 12:17 PM

Quick question: My mother needs to gain weight as quickly as possible before starting chemotherapy. Can anyone point me to a reliable source(s) of information towards that end?

And, please, no cancer quack woo-woo.
Thanks in advance!

Wish I had some advice. Can only wish good luck to you all.

Posted by: nigelTheBold, Minister of Spankings | August 30, 2010 12:21 PM

Thank you for the curiously appropriate accidental verbing of the noun "wretch".

Bah. What's a 'w' among friends?

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | August 30, 2010 12:29 PM

I hate you a little too.

Just so you know.

Huh? What did I say?

I'm sorry. :-/

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | August 30, 2010 12:37 PM

Are you willing to make it up to me?

Of course. What do you want me to do?

Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger | August 30, 2010 12:47 PM

Walton:

On the subject of E-voting: I prefer the hybrid system idea.

Electronic machines would be available, but their sole purpose is to print a paper ballot. The ballot is human-readable (so there's less chance of the machine changing a vote without the voter noticing) and OCR-able (so preliminary counting can be done electronically). Final counting must always be done manually.

[Reply to llewelly's comment forthcoming.]

Posted by: Sastra | August 30, 2010 12:54 PM

I'm just breaking into this thread to mention that I was away camping for a week, and come back to find that PZ was in the hospital. And I missed all the excitement.

Oh yeah: I also missed the opportunity to give PZ my condolences, best wishes, and get well soon. But I stand poised in case he needs my best wishes again. I got them out. They were rolled up in one of the tarps from that last time we had to pack up in the rain.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 12:55 PM

Of course. What do you want me to do?

:D:D:D

I'll let you know.

But in the meantime quit cutting yourself off from people. It's annoying. It's like being presented with a delicious acorn, embedded deeply within a block of solid steel.

Maybe some day you asked some one if they wanted an acorn and they fucking didn't.

But god damn it, Walton, lotsa people want that fucking acorn.

Posted by: nigelTheBold, Minister of Spankings | August 30, 2010 12:59 PM

BG, #256:

That's a great number for that post.

I agree. Paper trails are the only way to ensure democracy. Anything else would be . . . uncivilized.

Posted by: Randomfactor | August 30, 2010 1:02 PM

@Walton, the others are absolutely right and I was absolutely wrong to insert myself.

The trick is to make good choices--I didn't, sometimes--and the way to make good choices is by making bad ones along the way. I was a virgin until 25 and would be one today were it not for my incredible luck in running across a co-worker who seemed interested in me.

For what it's worth, I've been married twice, one of them till-death-do-us-part. That "parting" part is a major reason for my assholier-than-thou posts upthread. Think Tom Hanks at the beginning of "Sleepless in Seattle." Jules and Jadehawk are especially thanked for their grandmotherly kindness

If my current interest weren't so incredibly unlikely in so many ways I'd have been a lot more cheerful here. And if she didn't lurk here occasionally, (hi, CB, hope you skipped this thread) I'd probably have written things differently.

Posted by: nigelTheBold, Minister of Spankings | August 30, 2010 1:03 PM

My mother needs to gain weight as quickly as possible

Uhm. My advice? Get married.

Hey. It worked for me.

Coulda been my diet, though -- pizza, ice-cream, brownies (pot), and lots and lots of beer. Especially pot beer.

Posted by: Sastra | August 30, 2010 1:20 PM

suggestion @ Walton and whoever else:

When judging the probabilities for a successful relationship, do not just look at the people of your own generation: look at the mothers and fathers hauling around kids and teenagers of various ages through shopping malls, theme parks, the beach, public transport, etc. Visualize them in your head: are you imagining sexy, slim, charismatic people? And yet they reproduced.

My guess is that the bar is lower, and you are higher up, than you think.

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 30, 2010 1:26 PM

@Sastra:

Lucky my 'beau' is super-cute :) I lucked out, mwahaha!

Posted by: Aquaria | August 30, 2010 1:41 PM

Could make a nice soap opera, except for the utter absurdity, the complete lack of a love story, and the TMI (though that would be easy to excise).

You haven't watched many soaps too closely, have you? You'll need some weirder dreams to catch up to, say, Reva Shayne on Guiding Light. The writers actually cloned her. I read about that and wondered what happened to the show that had once given me scenes like this.

To those who watch the scene, don't feel sorry for the daughter. She took her mother's boyfriend just to hurt her mother, and spitefully rejected peace offerings from Mom in the weeks prior to this.

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) | August 30, 2010 1:48 PM

Hmmm, thinking back to that old D&D group of mine brings up an interesting intersection of, "You're too young to say you 'can't have' it", "I'm too fat for anyone to love me", and "Don't do anything irrevocable".

One of the other guys (not the DM, I mean) was, at 23/24, so sure that he "couldn't have it", due to poor self image and self esteem (and partly to do with the fact that he was only average attractive in personality and, yes, hugely fat, and, Benjamin, it is worth noticing that he was substantially less intelligent and amusing than you show yourself to be, when you aren't on a whinge binge), that he was actually trying to find a doctor whose ethics were flexible enough to surgically castrate him. Two years after I met him, he quit gaming because he got married, and shortly thereafter had a daughter; family was taking up all his time. Good thing he kept his balls, no?

Posted by: nigelTheBold, Minister of Spankings | August 30, 2010 1:55 PM

One of the hottest guys I've ever had the pleasure of...knowing had an interesting take on this.

I like this guy. And I second the sentiment.

One of my writing instructors gave me the best advice in the world: "Submit your stories. You will be rejected, almost as often as you send them out. The rejection is going to hurt like hell at first, but after a while, you get used to it. The important thing is, have all your stories out, all the time. The few times you don't get rejected are gonna be damned near orgasmic."

And it's true. I have a vast collection of rejection letters. I have a significantly smaller collection of acceptance letters. (And a much, much smaller collection of check stubs.)

Walton (and whoever else), get out there and start collecting those damned rejection letters. It'll hurt like hell at first, but after a while, you get used to it.

The few times you don't get rejected are gonna be damned near orgasmic.

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | August 30, 2010 2:03 PM

nigelTheBold
I've often thought my experience as a writer helped toughen me up to a variety of rejections. When people ask me what I got my degree in, I usually say "Rejection" as a little joke.

Posted by: Dania | August 30, 2010 2:07 PM

It sucks to be an only child

Um, no, not for me. Or for my father, according what he says about his childhood. I've always been a pretty happy only child. I don't remember ever wishing I had siblings (except more recently, when my mother talks about her future grandchildren which I don't want to have...).

Of course I had many cousins* and they all lived nearby, so it's not like I didn't have anyone to play with. I also had imaginary friends (mostly talking animals) and pets (birds, fishes, hamsters, rabbits and, later, a cat). I did (and still do) enjoy being on my own most of the time, though.

*But only one was female, and she was ten years older than me. We're still close, and I still think of her as my older sister.

Posted by: Ewan R | August 30, 2010 2:10 PM

(I stayed in Weymouth for a week and had fish and chips from an award-winning chipee which had the Scottish speciality on the menu - and a choice of several other bars. No. I didn't!)

You should have!

There's a Scots pub/resturaunt in St Louis (the Scottish arms) which offers(or offered) deep fried mars bars - I decided to bite the bullet and try one (after confirming that it was a deep fried mars bar in the British sense - the waiter(American) seemed confused by the question - the chef (Scots) delighted by it (for trans-atlantic translation a Mars bar in the US is weird, and has almonds in it - a Mars bar in the civilized world is approximately what USians would call a milky way (which in the UK is what USians would call a three musketeers - which thankfully doesn't exist in the UK because it is a silly name. Like Snickers, which should be Marathons still but aint (Marathons being some weird energy bar made by the Mars corporation over in the US)))) - it. Was. Awesome. (although the translation from a $15 a plate decent resturaunt's interpretation and a chip shop's interpretation may leave something to be desired)

(thanks to Ogvorbis for loaning me out parenthesese - thankfully posting here isn't like using excel so it's not going to tell me I buggered up the formula)

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 30, 2010 2:14 PM

@Ewan R:

Three Musketeers for when you don't want caramel. Milky War for when you do want caramel. Snickers when you want peanuts. Baby Ruth when you don't want nougat or chocolate.

Posted by: Ewan R | August 30, 2010 2:19 PM

#284 - Hmm, I dunno what the UK equivalent of a Baby Ruth bar is (havent had one) - it amuses me that the nomenclature of the bars didn't translate at all going across the atlantic - initially the name Snickers and Three musketeers were non-entities in the UK and as far as I'm aware the chocolate bar in the US that is a mars bar (and hard to find) never occured in the UK (or if it did, did so fleetingly, and probably before 1983/4 (which is around where my memory of different chocolates begins))

Anyway, back to writing queries where closing and opening parentheses actually matters.

Posted by: nigelTheBold, Minister of Spankings | August 30, 2010 2:22 PM

Here in Bakersfield, there's a place that deep-fries cheeseburgers.

I had one of those in a brewpub in Wasilla. Disappointingly, they didn't deep-fry the whole burger. Instead, the patties were essentially chicken-fried steak patties, deep-fried.

It was still damned good.

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | August 30, 2010 2:26 PM

sometimes you feel like a nut
*shrug*
sometimes you don't

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 30, 2010 2:28 PM

@Ewan R:

Actually, come to think of it, Baby Ruth does have nougat. It's not quite the same as the fluffy nougat in the others, though, so that's probably why I forgot it.

It's good though. Salty nuts with chocolate and caramel and fudge nougat... yummm.

Posted by: Ewan R | August 30, 2010 2:31 PM

#290 - although in the UK if you feel like a nut... you're buggered. Mounds is all you'll get, and even then you'll have to look for a kitchen towel brand name to get 'em (bounty) - Almond Joys are a non-entity. I'm beginning to think the UK has a thing against almonds in its mars products. At least bounty bars come in dark and milk chocolate tho, so there is some choice, although the whole "sometimes you feel" ditty completely doesn't work.

Sometimes you feel like dark chocolate, sometimes you don't. Bounty bars with red wrappers have dark chocolate... bounty bars with blue wrappers don't.

Not catchy. At all.

Posted by: irenedelse | August 30, 2010 2:37 PM

Our tentacled overlord may know about this: The Case for Cephalopod Consciousness.

Is that something we should worry about when we eat calamari?

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) | August 30, 2010 2:42 PM

Mounds and Bounty aren't quite the same thing. The consistency of the coconut is different. For a brief time, years ago, I could get Bounty bars at Safeway; I was very annoyed when they went away.

Posted by: nigelTheBold, Minister of Spankings | August 30, 2010 2:57 PM

Mounds and Bounty aren't quite the same thing.

I find Bounty has a papery texture, but with a nice crumb, and excellent (if somewhat dry) finish.*

* Yes. I just conflated the Quicker Picker Upper with a delicious candy. I'm willing to go there.

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | August 30, 2010 3:10 PM

Here in Bakersfield

my condolences

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qe7WX9fy-1M

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | August 30, 2010 3:12 PM

SASTRA IN THE THREAD! OH FRABJOUS DAY!

I just remembered one thing about gaining weight. Antidepressants. When I started on Mirtazapine I couldn't stop eating. I gather it's actually prescribed off-label for many elderly exactly for that reason. To get them to eat more.

Posted by: Katrina, radicales féministes athées | August 30, 2010 3:13 PM

I have a "foodie" friend who was telling me about the deep fried beer. She said,

I saw the beer one demonstrated, and it looks interesting. Beer is something that goes well with fried food, and it is done as a ravioli-kind of thing with the liquid beer inside. They say it is done so fast that the integrity of the beer inside is maintained, so yes, you need to be of age and show ID to buy it. I think I might have to try that one.

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | August 30, 2010 3:17 PM

even though to my eye it's much more OKC than Tulsa

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | August 30, 2010 3:23 PM

and that's no compliment

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 30, 2010 3:29 PM

@Aquaria:

It's unhealthy, that's what it is. No one really knows the fat content of those foods, so you're compiling so much disgusting fat into a terribly efficient source.

And since you're at a fair... you really don't watch what you eat!

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 3:32 PM

Here in Bakersfield, there's a place that deep-fries cheeseburgers

Oooh I was there once.

Weird place.

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 30, 2010 3:38 PM

Ars Technica report on Virginia's Troglodyte Cuccinelli's attack against climate science: Link here

My favorite part:

The University responded by pointing out that most of the grants Cuccinelli was investigating involved federal, rather than state funds, and that he had neglected to specify an actual fraudulent offense. Under those circumstances, the University argued, a sweeping request for records would have a chilling effect on academic freedom of inquiry. (Emphasis mine)

Completely, absolutely correct, and not even that surprising given the Troglodyte's attitude about how to make things illegal - make them difficult / impossible to do.

Can't stop global warming science? Make scientists afraid to do the work.

Can't stop abortions? Make regulations so strict to shut down a bunch of abortion clinics.

Can't stop 'teh ghey'? Make everything they can do illegal so they're afraid to speak out.

I hate my state...

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 3:39 PM

*shrugs*

I like drunk Walton.

If I ever get to meet Walton I'm bringing a bottle of good port.

Or two.

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 30, 2010 3:41 PM

@Ol'Greg:

Can I come? I mean you'll need someone to help take off his pants... I mean, to help finish the port! Two people can't finish two bottles of port alone, can they?

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 3:43 PM

Can I come? I mean you'll need someone to help take off his pants... I mean, to help finish the port! Two people can't finish two bottles of port alone, can they?

Well you'll have to ask Walton but I'm down.

Posted by: llewelly | August 30, 2010 3:47 PM

Benjamin Geiger | August 30, 2010 3:19 PM:

Honestly, I don't think it's really chemical depression. I think it's all situational.

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | August 30, 2010 3:52 PM

The Democratic leaders are deeply insecure, and secretly convinced their agenda is hopelessly unpopular, and are terrified at the prospect that any improvement in the vote counting might render them unelectable.

Then why the fuck not say "fuck it!" and implement all those policies they expect will make them unelectable?! They're gonna get fucked whatever they do. Why not do good then?!

Fucktards! Cowards! Wankers! Gobshite! ARRGLE RARRGLE BLARRGLE!

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | August 30, 2010 3:54 PM

It is a significant error to think that psychological reactions to situations are not implemented in chemical changes in the brain.

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | August 30, 2010 3:55 PM

Wait. Is there a hot OG-Walton-Kevin threesome fixin' to go down?

'Cause I'm bringing the camera.

Posted by: Rey Fox, Bird Caller Guy | August 30, 2010 4:00 PM

"So, on the one hand, I want to embrace everything that comes with getting older, but on the other hand, I'm a hypocrite because part of the glee comes from someone thinking I'm much younger, which shouldn't really matter to me. "

I think it's 1) because of the high value placed on youth in this society, 2) because the younger you are (or even look), the (statistically) further you are from death. Perhaps a bit morbid, but that's what I came up with. I mean, once one is past all those legally empowering milestones (age of getting a driver's license, age of smoking, age of drinking), then what does age mean to anyone anymore?

Posted by: Katharine | August 30, 2010 4:01 PM

A new first - I felt actual murderous rage for the first time today in the bookstore when I ran into one of the tiny handful of people I truly hate to the core of my black little heart, more than I hate most fundies - I even hate Pat Robertson marginally less than the people I hate the most!

I managed to keep my response down to a nasty look, though.

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | August 30, 2010 4:01 PM

BG
The gym is great and all, but it can feel too much like a chore. Just go take a walk somewhere that you actually want to be. I have a couple of nature trails nearby, and my iPod and some tobacco can take me miles, and the whole experience is really enjoyable. Back before I got this job, I was walking 7 miles or so at a time, and I barely even felt winded (I'm in decent shape, but I am by no means athletic). Now I usually stick to 1-3, just because I go really slowly and don't have several hours to kill anymore.

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | August 30, 2010 4:06 PM

(By way of example: whenever I'm in a crowd of strangers, I always have an instinctive feeling that people are either laughing at me, or looking and thinking "Ewww. Yuk.")

Walton, do you do that to anyone in a crowd?

Most people are too busy being insecure to judge others. The rest are probably either just curious or busy. Your average human is not likely to single a stranger out for disgust, particularly if that stranger is engaged in normal behavior.

While I know that you can't assume that everyone sees the world the same way you do, little checks about what you think of other people might come in handy for understanding how they probably see you.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | August 30, 2010 4:07 PM

MEMO TO FUTURE SELF:

Self, right after seeding, deveining, chopping and sending to the freezer 5 pounds of fresh jalapenos and 6 pounds of fresh red serrano peppers, even after wearing rubber gloves while doing said pepper processing, DO NOT IMMEDIATELY GO UPSTAIRS TO DRAIN YOUR BLADDER. The oils that make chile peppers hot seap through the gloves and do unpleasant things to, well, future me will get the picture. Fifteen minutes later and I'm starting to feel human again. Well, at the least, I can sit down and type. Though the screen is blurry because of the tears.

HAPPY SATURDAY!

Posted by: llewelly | August 30, 2010 4:09 PM

Sili, The Unknown Virgin | August 30, 2010 3:54 PM:

It's equally erroneous to assume that all depression is druggable. (Mine is, thank Boom.)

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | August 30, 2010 4:11 PM

Katharine
Nosy minds want to know: who is this group that produces such a reaction in you?

Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger | August 30, 2010 4:13 PM

Jules:

It's August. In Florida.

If it involves walking further than the distance from my front door to the car, count me out. I'm already sweaty when I get in the car at 8:30 AM.

The gym has the advantage of being air-conditioned.

Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 30, 2010 4:21 PM

(By way of example: whenever I'm in a crowd of strangers, I always have an instinctive feeling that people are either laughing at me, or looking and thinking "Ewww. Yuk.")

Strange. Whenever I'm in a crowd of strangers I think everyone is looking at me thinking what an awesomely handsome man who obviously knows the story.

Then I start to despise them when I realize that they think a slightly overweight, bald guy with a big handlebar mustache, hair in all the wrong places and an overly sarcastic bad attitude is attractive.

Posted by: llewelly | August 30, 2010 4:24 PM

Katharine | August 30, 2010 4:01 PM:

A new first - I felt actual murderous rage for the first time today in the bookstore when I ran into one of the tiny handful of people I truly hate to the core of my black little heart, more than I hate most fundies - I even hate Pat Robertson marginally less than the people I hate the most!

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | August 30, 2010 4:28 PM

The gym has the advantage of being air-conditioned.

When I had a gym membership, I worked out at least 5 days a week. Because I'm a cheap asshole and will not pay for something I don't use. Not everybody is so easily motivated.

And I'm in Alabama. It's not as hot as Florida, but I can sympathize with temperature issues. I still prefer the outdoors to the gym, but I'm pretty good at handling heat (and am unwilling to rope myself into 5 days a week at the gym just so I don't feel cheated out of my $30/month).

Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 30, 2010 4:29 PM

Has any(male)one noticed that if you tell a 'dirty' joke to a woman the reaction is almost always:

"BUHAAAHHAH
(short pause)
That's disgusting!
SNIFF"

Um, no. Not really.

You've obviously not been hanging out with the kind of women I hang out with.

Mrs. BigDumbChimp and her posse are usually the ones telling the "dirty jokes", and then drinking you under the table.

Well, at least in the old days.

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) | August 30, 2010 4:34 PM

Katherine, don't tease so! Who are these worse-than-fundies?

Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | August 30, 2010 4:34 PM

You can see his FB profile picture without getting an account.

But he'll have to send you his real name, somehow.

And he looks exactly as I imagined him.

And that's not a bad thing. Just a thing.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 4:36 PM

Seriously, I don't believe for a moment that you are as ugly as you seem to think you are.

No not the hot or not thread again!

Walton looks different in, like, every single picture of him.

He's a mystery!

However at no point is he ugly.

Posted by: MrFire | August 30, 2010 4:37 PM

Ogvorbis:

Have you tried dipping your hands in a bowl of milk afterward?

Capsaicin is soluble in a fatty component of milk, enabling it to be \washed away. (Water, btw, does not solubilize capsaicin, which is why it doesn't do jack.)

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | August 30, 2010 4:41 PM

You could simply link to FB photos here. Just take a looking at the FB photo properties, copy address and paste the link here.

For example, here's one of the photos from our The Endless Thread FB group:

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs179.snc4/38291_104476836274053_100001352102331_33826_5818646_n.jpg

Whether Walton wants to link a picture of himself here is, of course, up to him.

Posted by: Dhorvath, OM | August 30, 2010 4:44 PM

Llewellu'

Were those immoral bastards bending the front cover of the book all the way around to touch the back cover of the book again? Don't they know that destroys the binding? Why do so many unrefined Philistine scumsuckers have no inkling of the lasting value of literature?

Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger | August 30, 2010 4:45 PM

Apparently "Texas caviar" is black eyed pea salad. Recipe.

Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes | August 30, 2010 4:46 PM

Ogvorbis: Maybe instead of dipping your hand in a bowl of milk, you could rub it all over a chicken wing or a burger. I mean, why waste it?

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | August 30, 2010 4:48 PM

FWIW, I don't think Walton is ugly.

Actually, I have found Pharyngulites, on average, to be attractive. However, I have noticed that if I like a person's personality I tend to see them as more attractice, so maybe that's part of it.

Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes | August 30, 2010 4:49 PM

Alan: There is a lot that one might find distasteful about Texas, but the chow ain't one of them.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 4:52 PM

Actually, I have found Pharyngulites, on average, to be attractive. However, I have noticed that if I like a person's personality I tend to see them as more attractice, so maybe that's part of it.

Bah! This is always working to my disadvantage.

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | August 30, 2010 4:56 PM

Try to get that name for in his latest profile photo Walton looks cool. A little skinny for my taste - possibly all that forgetting to eat while revising

Yeah... that photo was taken a few days after I finished my exams. I'd lost nearly six kilos of weight in the preceding six months, and had spent quite a lot of time stuck in my room with law books, hence my generally thin, pale and wan appearance.

I look similar now, but slightly more tanned and less unhealthy. And my hair has grown longer, wilder and excessively curly (speaking of which, I should probably get a haircut soon).

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | August 30, 2010 4:57 PM

How the heck do ya'll know what people look like? Are there Pharyngulista trading cards?

Posted by: Lynna, OM | August 30, 2010 5:01 PM

Here are some more references for real DNA research, just in case you run into Glenn Beck, wannabe Cherokees, or crazed mormons performing spirit dances and you feel the need to give them a reality check:
http://www.plosgenetics.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pgen.0030007
http://www.mitochondrial.net/abstract/pm/3934395
http://www.springerlink.com/content/p504530487115402/

And here are the trailers and excerpts of Glenn Beck on Fox News touting the "Lost Civilizations of North America":
http://lostcivilizationdvd.com/trailer.html

Posted by: KG | August 30, 2010 5:05 PM

Walton,
clarification of my #381 - I meant helping specific individuals solve specific problems as opposed to campaigning for worthwhile ends.

Posted by: blf | August 30, 2010 5:06 PM

The one here in Bakersfield apparently dips it bun, lettuce and tomato and all into batter and then fries *THAT*.

There are many reasons I never ever want to visit Bakerspatch again. You've just supplied a half-a-dozen additional reasons…

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | August 30, 2010 5:10 PM

Actually, I have found Pharyngulites, on average, to be attractive. However, I have noticed that if I like a person's personality I tend to see them as more attractice, so maybe that's part of it.

Bah! This is always working to my disadvantage.

You have an awesome personality. And you're stunning. I'm not sure if I said so already, but I love your current profile pic. :-p

*blushes*

=================

How the heck do ya'll know what people look like? Are there Pharyngulista trading cards?

A little thing called Facebook. (With which I am, incidentally, getting increasingly irritated. They seem to be addicted to adding more and more pointless features.)

Though I like the idea of Pharyngula trading cards. Do we get hit points, and strengths and weaknesses? :-D

(Admittedly, I never collected Pokémon cards as a kid. Though I did watch the TV show.)

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 30, 2010 5:14 PM

@Walton:

Pharyngula trading cards, eh?

I'd probably be a Flip Card >_>

Posted by: KG | August 30, 2010 5:17 PM

Incidentally, I actually had my first fully-sexual relationship (I had had previous girlfriends, but never for long) with someone I met while we were both volunteering as adult-literacy teachers - and even more incidentally, I was 24 at the time.

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 30, 2010 5:19 PM

@Feynmaniac:

As long as there's no Kevin Rookie card... that'd be embarrassing.

Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger | August 30, 2010 5:21 PM

I'd be more worried about a Pete Rookie card.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 5:26 PM

Hmmm... powers.

Ol'Greg's existential nausea should be a lifedrain function.

Contemplate the bleakness of the world. Goodbye HP.

I'm not sure if I said so already, but I love your current profile pic. :-p

Why thank you darlin'

Posted by: Dania | August 30, 2010 5:30 PM

I'd be more worried about a Pete Rookie card.

Weakness: incapable of inflicting oral sex on women.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 5:34 PM

Weakness: incapable of inflicting oral sex on women.

FTW.

Capable of stunning victims with tortured analogies involving corpse flesh and knee rolls.

Posted by: Randomfactor | August 30, 2010 5:40 PM

There are many reasons I never ever want to visit Bakerspatch again. You've just supplied a half-a-dozen additional reasons…

Well, as I feel I owe penance and haven't yet remounted the diet cycle again, I think I'll hunt down one of those deep-fried cheeseburgers and give a report back.

No, folks, don't try this at home without special preparation. My regular gone-off-the-wagon food is chili/cheese fries, better known as Heart Attack On A Plate.

Posted by: David Marjanović | August 30, 2010 5:52 PM

The latest post from ResearchBlogging explains the relationships between the size of the sound inventory of a language and the size and density of the population that speaks it. I had no idea.

On the subject of E-voting: I prefer the hybrid system idea.

Electronic machines would be available, but their sole purpose is to print a paper ballot. The ballot is human-readable (so there's less chance of the machine changing a vote without the voter noticing) and OCR-able (so preliminary counting can be done electronically). Final counting must always be done manually.

Then what is the point of all those electronics?

trouble clinging to my sanity with more than one kid at a time, especially if one of them was hyperactive, as well as attention deficient

Absolutely. I didn't consider such possibilities.

Jules and Jadehawk are especially thanked for their grandmotherly kindness

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

You haven't watched many soaps too closely, have you?

Well... no. Most importantly, my dream had very, very little dialogue.

*shrugs*

I like drunk Walton.

If I ever get to meet Walton I'm bringing a bottle of good port.

Or two.

:-}

Can I come? I mean you'll need someone to help take off his pants... I mean

Best excuse ever!

But does your beau know you're poly? (Congratulations in advance on the second date, BTW.) In Senegal, you (male) have to say at your first marriage if you want to marry any additional women later.

Fucktards! Cowards! Wankers! Gobshite! ARRGLE RARRGLE BLARRGLE!

Simpsons. Banners at Republican convention: "We want the worst for everyone", "We're just that evil". Banners at Democratic convention: "We can't govern"... shit, and something about how they're too anxious to do anything, I forgot what. :-(

I consistently oversleep. Two separate alarms (one of which, my phone, goes off a dozen or so times) and a wake-up call in the morning, and I still manage to oversleep.

Then go to bed earlier. :-| Do you know how many hours of sleep you need per night? It varies wildly between people, reportedly from 4 to 12 hours. Mine is apparently 10 (though something like one hour of this might be due to my nose).

I'm looking forward to it. :-p

[...]

*giggles and blushes demurely*

See? That's a good response. Never apologise for it.

The thing that is scary about this is how few of the people who feel this way are truly going to produce poorly functioning progeny. At the same time so many people who pop out babies with nary a thought should have considered the implications beforehand. It seems Dunning-Kruger to me.

Exactly. By thinking that far, they show they'll go to sufficiently great lengths to pass their problems on to their children.

For example, here's one of the photos from our The Endless Thread FB group:

Uh...

<burst of laughter with hissing windpipe>

Day saved!!!

Some language news (well, it was new as of June 29, 2010):

Oh, so that's when the publication came out. The conference where all that stuff was presented was in February 200...9, I think; I downloaded several papers from the conference website shortly before and during the conference.

A problem is that there are three different reconstructions of Proto-Yeniseian by three different (groups of) people out there; Vajda used his own, and the people behind the others are not amused. But, reportedly, Vajda started collaborating with the people affiliated with one of the other reconstructions; those people have been advancing the idea that Yeniseian and Na-Dene are parts of a very large language family, which is not incompatible with Vajda's new idea that just those two are each other's closest relatives.

but remember, it's not supposed to make real sense, just mormon sense

=8-)

Theoretical phylogenetic dating (based on the assumed human-chimp species split 5-6 million years ago) conflicts with actual observed DNA pedigree dating mutation rates.

Of course, because different pieces of DNA are involved, and different pieces of DNA are under different selection pressures.

And how could the Kensington Runestone possibly fit into the Mormon storyline!?! It's not in fucking Hebrew, let alone Reformed Egyptian!

Actually, I have found Pharyngulites, on average, to be attractive. However, I have noticed that if I like a person's personality I tend to see them as more attractice, so maybe that's part of it.

Bah! This is always working to my disadvantage.

How? We already know you don't hate everyone.

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | August 30, 2010 5:54 PM

Capable of stunning victims with tortured analogies involving corpse flesh and knee rolls.

Others:
- Plenty of stamina, enough fuel the endless thread for months.
- Throws GOATS ON FIRE.
- Will name-dropkick you.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 30, 2010 5:57 PM

Walton:

How does one "unbutton", exactly?

A start would be not coming over all horrified because you drank some port and posted a couple of *giggles* on the thread. FFS, Walton, you've done really well on your transition from pod to human - keep on going! We're here to nag and embarrass you into it. ;)

In other news, my power is out, so the laptop will be dying soon. I'll try to catch up when I'm back in civilized land.

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage | August 30, 2010 5:58 PM

Jules:

(By way of example: whenever I'm in a crowd of strangers, I always have an instinctive feeling that people are either laughing at me, or looking and thinking "Ewww. Yuk.")

Walton, do you do that to anyone in a crowd?

Word up! I'm an inveterate people-watcher, but my range of purely visual responses to strangers ranges from delighted appreciation to benign disinterest. Only ugly behavior can motivate me to feel disgust or revulsion for strangers; looks alone never do.

Besides, some of us have seen Walton's FB profile picture, and thus know full well that "Ewww. Yuk." could never be a justified reaction on purely visual grounds (and I presume from his virtual behavior here that it wouldn't be a justified reaction to his meatspace behavior, either).

All this talk about the imagined impossiblity of some folks hooking up has reminded me of an (only obliquely related) claim a high-school friendacquaintance used to make. He said (based on "I read somewhere that...") that simply walking up to women on the street and asking "will you sleep with me?" would get you laid roughly once for every ten attempts (well, he was a jerky high school kid, and it was the go-go 70s). Of course, propositioning strangers on the street seems a bit unacceptably intrusive, and I suspect the success ratio would actually be much lower... but I do wonder about the general efficacy of simply bluntly asking for what you actually want.

I've always thought it would be interesting, purely as an experiment, to run a personals ad along the following lines:

Middle-class, middle-aged, overweight male seeks model-gorgeous 20-something SWF for occasional casual sex. D/D free; no pros please.

My guess is that even such a ludicrously one-sided "invitation" would get a nontrivial number of responses, and that at least some of those responding would actually be the requested attractive young women.

Of course, since I'm married and would have no intent to actually follow through with anyone who answered such an ad, it would be unethical to run the experiment. I tried to get my brother-in-law (who's divorce and occasionally lonely) to try it, but he's a romantic....

Anyway, without going to such an extreme, I'd suggest to our unwilling virgins that you might simply try placing a personals ad,¹ looking for a play partner. You might say, "I'm looking for more than just sex"... to which I respond [a] it may be that anxiety over the just sex part is getting in the way of the stuff you really do want. If concern that you're too ugly to fuck is your particular roadblock WRT social/romantic life, then getting fucked ought to serve as an existence proof to the contrary, and let you get on with looking for the "real thing." Also, [b] don't underestimate just sex as a pleasant way to pass the time 'til something deeper comes along.


¹ Note that reading personals ads is a voluntary act, making placing such ads far less intrusive than merely propositioning folks on the street.

Posted by: Dania | August 30, 2010 6:01 PM

Others:

- Will throw questions about the optimal temperature of the planet without being provoked.

Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger | August 30, 2010 6:05 PM

Bill D:

Placing a personal ad didn't work for me, and I tried it three times.

Likewise for online dating sites. (I'm currently on PlentyOfFish and OkCupid.) Even women whose profiles on OkCupid claim they respond to messages "frequently" have yet to respond.

Posted by: Dhorvath, OM | August 30, 2010 6:07 PM

Cult of the Lickers of Cats

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | August 30, 2010 6:13 PM

Dania:

They do make stool softeners if you really are having problems with your vowels.

(Sorry, shitty pun.)

Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes | August 30, 2010 6:20 PM

BG: Serious about teh mojo. You want to ignore it, but it is the key to everything. You have to feel sexy. Like ALL of the time. Al Green can help you with that. So can Prince.

I can see in every post that your mojo sucks. That's why your ads aren't working. Everything that you post (mmkay...not everything but just items regarding loneliness) stink of a rotted and neglected mojo. NURTURE YOUR MOJO.

Look at Mick Jagger. He's an old burnt-out husk of a man with a sniny big mojo. You think Mick can't score? Fugedaboudit. What's more...I bet if Mick was broke...not a dime (our whatever you Limeys use for money)...he would still be a hit at the club.

Its about mojo.

Posted by: Rey Fox, Bird Caller Guy | August 30, 2010 6:26 PM

"My guess is that even such a ludicrously one-sided "invitation" would get a nontrivial number of responses, and that at least some of those responding would actually be the requested attractive young women."

Not if you did it online, then you'd just get inundated with spam. Although the content of the ad would have little bearing on that.

And do people do non-online personals anymore?

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage | August 30, 2010 6:34 PM

AJ Milne OM #313

not true, a scandalous libel, and whoeverinhell ever suggested that is a cad, sir, a cad

Take that back. I'm not a cad, I'm a bounder!

_{My name is never mentioned, my portrait is turned to the wall, I have been banned from my club.}

Posted by: Randomfactor | August 30, 2010 6:46 PM

Thanks for that link, Lynna, passed along.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | August 30, 2010 6:50 PM

The opening quoteblock should have read"Did I miss anything fun?" from ODS's #427. Weird. Apparently I cannot copy and paste.

Posted by: Dania | August 30, 2010 6:57 PM

I had a crappy crappy weekend.

:(

So sad to hear that.

Did I miss anything fun?

We were talking about love and that somehow prompted a wonderful discussion about vomit. And there was some talk about virgins too...

Posted by: Dhorvath, OM | August 30, 2010 6:59 PM

@ Benjamin,
Just to clarify about my above response to you and Bill D. I took him as talking about a hypothetical passive response ad, not a dating site profile. I do think that the potential is there for a dating site to make meaningful connections in a way that traditional personals never could.

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | August 30, 2010 7:05 PM

Ogvorbis:
I thought your #429 was delightfully surreal.

AND I MISSED OUT ON VIRGINS?! No fair. Not fair at all.

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | August 30, 2010 7:12 PM

How does one "unbutton", exactly?

1.) pot
2.) milkshakes
3.) bananas
(whoa...deja vu...)

Try some of this

Many times it seems to me that nobody has ever been more soulful than Rev. Al Green. And then other times I think no, James Brown. OK, Marvin Gaye in certain situations. But then I come back to Al Green.

Prince

*spits*

Dave Matthews Band fans?

Thanks very much for the Southampton IPA out the nose.
Hoppy.

Texas caviar

There's sturgeons in Texas.

Pharyngulista cards should come with statistics.

Can we start the stats in 2007? I didn't hit too well in '05 and in '06 I got sent down to triple-A for a while.

Only ugly behavior can motivate me to feel disgust or revulsion for strangers; looks alone never do.

Dude, have you been to WalMart?

an accumulation of glutamate in nerve cell junctions (synapses) in the brain may play a key role in the initiation of migraine attacks

Interesting since the headaches of "Chinese food syndrome" result from acutely high doses of MSG (G for Glutamate).

Its about mojo.

I went down to see a gypsy woman one day,
I wanna find out
What's wrong with me and my baby
We ain't been getting down like we used to do
I went down to see this gypsy woman, you understand
And I told her my story
I told her what was going on
And she turned to me and she said
All you need
(all you need)
All you gotta have
(all you need)
Just a touch, that's all you gotta have
Just a touch of mojo hand

Posted by: Lynna, OM | August 30, 2010 7:15 PM

And how could the Kensington Runestone possibly fit into the Mormon storyline!?! It's not in fucking Hebrew, let alone Reformed Egyptian!

I don't get it either, but it seems that controversy over the fraudulent or non-fraudulent nature of the Kensington Runestone just goes to show that archaeologists are always disagreeing about everything, therefore they are wrong when they doubt evidence of the Book of Mormon's account of history, as proven, for example, in the Bat Creek stone. Wherever there is controversy, you are advised to pray, to look into your heart (sounds painful), and to consult a mormon theologian via a Glenn Beck interview.

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | August 30, 2010 7:18 PM

Prince

*spits*

Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger | August 30, 2010 7:24 PM

Bill D:

I didn't specify race. They did. It's just that I felt weird about being disgusted by one statement of preference, while issuing a different statement of preference myself, and realizing that the two may not be as different as I had rationalized.

Posted by: MrFire | August 30, 2010 7:25 PM

True, I'm a bit far away from the camera but still... :)

*clicks on links, intrigued*

OOH I LIKE

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | August 30, 2010 7:30 PM

Thanks, Dania! It is helping.

Posted by: Dania | August 30, 2010 7:41 PM

OOH I LIKE

Aw, thanks. :)

The Borg lies!

The Borg seems to be very fond of the "NoSuchBucketExists" error too. Images of sad walruses and blue buckets pop into my head every time...

Thanks, Dania! It is helping.

*hugs*

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | August 30, 2010 7:56 PM

ODS:

Yeah, sometimes a workweek can make up for a whole weekend of extended family.

I thought your #429 was delightfully surreal.

It has been said that (((Wife))) is funny, I'm just innapropriate (or out of sunc with the rest of the world (the whole Calvinball bit (again))).

Posted by: Lynna, OM | August 30, 2010 8:05 PM

Well, I suppose I've given Sven the real heebie-jeebies for sure with my little trip to Prince's 1984 club. [evil, I'm evil]

ODS, I think there are still some virgins left. Let me check under my bed.

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | August 30, 2010 8:20 PM

Lynna:

ODS, I think there are still some virgins left. Let me check under my bed.

While we're at it, can I borrow a lint-roller, too? I don't really want to use virgins who are all covered in dust bunnies.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | August 30, 2010 8:25 PM

While we're at it, can I borrow a lint-roller, too? I don't really want to use virgins who are all covered in dust bunnies.

Did it occur to you that the dust bunnies themselves may be the virgins? Seriously. Have any of the sciency-types around here studied the sexual habits (or lack thereof) of the Dust Bunny (Pulvihunnam infracabilis)?

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | August 30, 2010 8:29 PM

Ogvorbis:
Are you implying that I'm some sort of hedonistic dust-bunny-sexual? I am deeply offended by your assumption.

Good day to you, sir! *huff!*

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 30, 2010 8:35 PM

Hmmm, power's back on, but I think I'll give it an hour before I go unhook the generator and all that stuff. I have a feeling it's going to be one of those nights...

Posted by: Lynna, OM | August 30, 2010 8:40 PM

While we're at it, can I borrow a lint-roller, too? I don't really want to use virgins who are all covered in dust bunnies.

Do you want them oiled?

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 30, 2010 8:51 PM

PZ:

Here in Morris, we're under a severe weather warning and tornado watch; the ol' radar shows a whole column of red and orange nastiness sweeping east out of the dakotas straight towards us.

Sorry it's headed your way, PZ. The thunder was *spectacular* though. Lots of lightning too. Stay safe.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | August 30, 2010 8:53 PM

How NOT to earn money for a Police Academy education:

While police officers arrest pot dealers fairly frequently, Orem police officers heard a pretty unusual reason for the illegal activity during an arrest this weekend.
     The 20-year-old man said he was dealing the drugs to save up for the police academy.
     “It’s probably not the first time this has happened, but this is the first time I’ve heard of someone admitting it,” said Orem Sgt. Craig Martinez. “Most drug dealers wouldn’t say they were trying to save up to become a cop....

Posted by: Lynna, OM | August 30, 2010 8:57 PM

My daughter is currently vacationing on Cape Cod and she says the waves are bigger than usual, a big, dangerous, rambunctious ocean.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 30, 2010 8:58 PM

'Tis:

Here on the East Coast we're watching to see what Hurricane Earl might be doing. The last hurricane to hit New England was Bob in 1991. We're about due to get hit again.

You stay safe too.

Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM | August 30, 2010 9:02 PM

Nothing here in Chiwaukee at the moment, but Wednesday we are supposed to see storms and a 10 ℉ drop in temperature. I suspect that is PZ's storm rumbling through here late Tuedsay night. *shakes fist at Mother Nature*

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | August 30, 2010 9:05 PM

Lynna:

How about I just put them all in the shower together and hose them down? Do you want them oiled?

Of course. Do I get to watch or is that extra?

Posted by: Ch'tturgha | August 30, 2010 9:30 PM

I'd like to back up Le Dauphin here.

I know that I, personally, am not physically attracted to people outside a certain range of skin colouration. It isn't that I find them unappealing; I've appreciated many, many women (and some men, though markedly fewer) aesthetically, but knew they would not make good partners for me because the physical chemistry would be lacking. I'd like to think this doesn't immediately mark me as racist -- I should have to at least tell a particularly bad joke first!

One of the points of a profile on a dating site (I've used a few, had no luck at all, though a recently-divorced friend of mine has been almost awash in prospects since he posted his profile) is to make it clear what you are and are not looking for. Is my colour preference to the point where I'd mention it specifically? I doubt it, and I'm always willing to be proven wrong, but at the same time, it seems a touch dishonest not to do so.

Is it possible this preference of mine has something to do with personal experiences so buried in the subconscious I'm not even sure where they could have originated? Sure, but I have no real basis for considering that to be the case. It's just a matter of personal aesthetics. After all, many heterosexual men can find a nude male figure to be aesthetically pleasing without finding it of sexual interest, just like heterosexual women can prefer girl-on-girl smut because they think the male anatomy is a bit daft.

And yes, the male anatomy is a bit daft. I'm still amazed anybody can look at the male reproductive organ and go, "Mmmm, that's what I want!" but I know it happens.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 30, 2010 9:33 PM

And yes, the male anatomy is a bit daft. I'm still amazed anybody can look at the male reproductive organ and go, "Mmmm, that's what I want!" but I know it happens.

Actually, it doesn't. We just say WANT!1!! :-)

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 30, 2010 9:39 PM

Ch'tturgha, eh, everyone has preferences. I've never cared for blondes. *shrug*

Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes | August 30, 2010 9:45 PM

I likes 'em crazy. An entomophilous.

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | August 30, 2010 9:47 PM

Heaps of Fossils

Ooo! A new anomalocarid!

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 30, 2010 9:53 PM

I know that I, personally, am not physically attracted to people outside a certain range of skin colouration.

:|

Actually, I think it's really, really off the mark to make judgments about who people are not attracted to. I cannot change the "types" I am attracted to (though they're not rigid, and they're somewhat fluid over time) any more than I can change my innate attraction to men. I'd be some pissed if someone raised an eyebrow at me about that, or implied something about my political leanings.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 30, 2010 10:03 PM

it's what I have and hopefully have more later!

Pikachu, the only people who want men with two dicks are shock porno mags. Don't overdo it, mmk?

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | August 30, 2010 10:05 PM

Gyeong Hwa Pak:

it's what I have and hopefully have more later!

I just got the mental image of a mad scientist cackling away and grafting an extra set of junk on you.

"Rise, my little Pikachu! Rise and fulfill your destiny to be an ambidextrous lover!"

Hm, now where would you put those extra parts...?

And I agree, the "male reproductive organs" (how classy!) are weird as shit. That doesn't stop me from wanting to play with them constantly, though. :P

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage | August 30, 2010 10:08 PM

Josh, OSG:

I cannot change the "types" I am attracted to (though they're not rigid, and they're somewhat fluid over time) any more than I can change my innate attraction to men. I'd be some pissed if someone raised an eyebrow at me about that, or implied something about my political leanings.

^^^This.

Re the desirability of genitalia: Honestly, I don't think genitalia of either category would be especially gorgeous in isolation, Georgia O'Keefe and Betty Dodson¹ notwithstanding. Instead, they're beautiful because of the lovely creatures they're attached to, and to whom they represent a vital point of connection. It seems obvious to me that we will each find genitalia of one type or the other appealing in direct proportion the the loveliness we see in their possessors.


¹ JOOC, are there analogues to O'Keefe or Dodson who similarly celebrate the penis?

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | August 30, 2010 10:10 PM

Josh, you Helen Keller Fucking Fangirl, you:

I have no idea what you're talking about. My "female reproductive organs" (keeping it classy as hell) are beautiful like a flower just after a spring rain.

Don't be hatin'.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 30, 2010 10:15 PM

I don't think they're similar things at all. Sexual orienatation is something you're born with. Not being attracted to those outside your race is not.

And you base this on exactly what? I'm sorry, but that's a provocative statement to make without some evidence. And I'm not even referring to a strict "not being attracted to someone outside your race,". . .I never claimed that for myself. There are lots of gray areas when it comes to subjective desire. I certainly have no conscious control over whom I am and am not attracted to, whether that has any correlation to race/skin color/build or not.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 30, 2010 10:22 PM

The other ones could be made of hygenic materials

LOL! Good one, PitaPocket.

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | August 30, 2010 10:23 PM

Gyeong Hwa Pak:

I just got the mental image of a mad scientist cackling away and grafting an extra set of junk on you.

I never said they had to be attached to me.

Too late. I've already contacted The Guild of Mad Scientists&trade

Hold still!

Posted by: Ch'tturgha | August 30, 2010 10:26 PM

To support my echidna nonsense, I managed to find the link.

And as for this:

I don't think they're similar things at all. Sexual orienatation is something you're born with. Not being attracted to those outside your race is not.

Did I say somewhere I'm only attracted to my race? I don't recall doing so, I believe I mentioned a physical aspect. Aside from the touchiness of the definition of race, let us presume I am "white/Caucasian" for the moment. Given that, I would only, under this presumption, be attracted to others in the same racial group. Interestingly, within this racial group, there is appreciable variation in skin tone, just as there are varying hues of eye and hair colour. The same skin variation would happen if we presumed I was "Black/African" or whatever.

If that weren't enough, the statement that one is physically (as in sexually) attracted to only a certain segment of the population is not an indicator in any way of racism or prejudice against another group, outside of the mating arena, at least. The fact that I can see a man or woman of any race/colour and consider them aesthetically pleasing (as in "beautiful" or "handsome" or whatever descriptor one desires) is rather divorced from whether or not I have a burning desire to mesh my loins with theirs. Certain feature combinations will produce both of those conditions, others will produce one or the other, and still others will produce neither.

Lastly, I never said I was born with such inherent attractions, though I can understand what Josh said could be seen to equate it as an in-born trait. But, really, who I want to sleep with is none of anybody's business. Equating a preference for or against one group in the sexual arena with prejudice for or against that same group in the typical-human-interaction arena is rather foolish.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 10:28 PM

Well, first off you have to determine your race.

And what fits within your race and what doesn't.

I mean, what race am I? I'm white right? Is white a race?

I mean if you wanted to go on skin complexion or hair and eye color that's going to mean I get kicked out of a lot of "white" buckets. You certainly can't guarantee looks very well with race for a lot of people.

...

Hmmm... I feel incredibly neutral about genitalia. I suppose there are gross looking examples but apart from those (oh and anything with too many piercings in it... holy shit) whatever.

Posted by: MrFire | August 30, 2010 10:31 PM

"Rise, my little Pikachu! Rise and fulfill your destiny to be an ambidextrous lover!"

Ambidickstrous

*ahem*

Posted by: 朴競花/박경화 (Gyeong Hwa) | August 30, 2010 10:35 PM

I suppose there are gross looking examples but apart from those (oh and anything with too many piercings in it... holy shit) whatever

I've seen pictures of extremely over-pierced male genitals and they are utterly disturbing. I've also seen interesting images of people combining their genitalia with tattoos to make neat images. I saw a guy who tattooed his to look like a dragon. And a woman who tattooed hers to look like Homer Simpson.

Posted by: Ch'tturgha | August 30, 2010 10:40 PM

I have to go set up the virgin cameras.

?????

The cameras focused on said virgins, not virginal image-capture devices, as that would be absurd. Everything about image-capture technology implies some kind of penetration, by photons at the very least!

And a woman who tattooed hers to look like Homer Simpson.

I'd have to say, that goes into the book as a decided "turn-off", though that could mean I am prejudiced against cartoon characters. I do hope that woman's partner(s) are Simpsons fans. I also imagine it is quite the surprise to be confronted with if caught unawares.

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | August 30, 2010 10:41 PM

And you base this on exactly what? I'm sorry, but that's a provocative statement to make without some evidence.

Let's just take a look at the US. For a long time there were anti-miscegenation laws and a culture that really disapproved of interracial relations. In the past 50 years there has been significant improvement and interracial relationships are far more accepted than they were in the past. This is just a change in the culture. However, the anti-miscegenation attitude left a mark. This feeling of not being attracted those of different skin tone doesn't come from nowhere.

I certainly have no conscious control over whom I am and am not attracted to, whether that has any correlation to race/skin color/build or not.

Everyone has racial prejudices. Many people (especially older ones) don't have control over feeling fear when they see a young mintority. This a result of culture, not biology. Having the feeling itself doesn't make the person bad however. It's something they can recongnize and change.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 10:45 PM

I'm fascinated by people whose skin seems opaque. I've noticed, regardless of the pigmentation, that some people have more transparent looking skin than others. I don't know what causes this.

I have extremely transparent skin, am unusually pale (the lightest person in my family), and also avoid the sun. This allows me to pretend not to have an olive complexion. But my skin is so transparent that not only can I see the entire map of green veins on the undersides of my arms, I can see the color shift in the tendons.

Then I have seen people who have the most opaque seeming skin. Even though they may be very light in color. Is there some different chemical in different people's skin aside from the pigmentation that controls opacity?

Or maybe literally thicker skin?

Posted by: 朴競花/박경화 (Gyeong Hwa) | August 30, 2010 10:49 PM

Oh why is Meg Whitman's face and ads on Scienceblog? Isn't I bad enough that I have to listen to her bullshit on TV?

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 30, 2010 10:53 PM

Feynmaniac:

This feeling of not being attracted those of different skin tone doesn't come from nowhere.

You're right, however, I think you're mixing this up with personal turn ons. My main preference is for people with dark skin (this is actually a *huge* range of tones, pretty much everyone is darker than I am), dark hair and dark eyes. At the bottom of my preference list is blonde hair, light eyes and white skin, although I wouldn't necessarily kick someone with those attributes out of bed, if yaknowwhatImean. (Light complected redheads are an exception, luuuuuv redheads, both genders.)

Actually, when it comes to my own experiences, I don't have any racial barriers. I don't care about that at all. Just some characteristics will get a much larger "mmmrrrreow, want!" out of me than others.

Posted by: Rorschach | August 30, 2010 10:54 PM

I mean, what race am I? I'm white right? Is white a race?

I find the question "Do Zebras have white stripes on black skin, or black stripes on white skin" extremely helpful in that situation....;)

*off to bring my new glasses back to the optometrist, who was not able to make a proper lens for my left eye the first time around,grumble, still looking like Harry Potter with my replacement emergency 1995 round spectacles*

Posted by: Ch'tturgha | August 30, 2010 10:56 PM

@ Feynmaniac, CTS, #516:

This feeling of not being attracted those of different skin tone doesn't come from nowhere.

You could very easily be right, but it does not imply a disdain toward that skin tone, nor does it mean such a preference requires a person to consider those of that skin tone to be inferior or somehow less "worthy". The fact that I don't desire to copulate with a subset of humanity does not in any way, shape, or form imply that I consider them lesser entities or unworthy of being or even unworthy of being with me. It simply means that feature has an impact on my desire to engage in very specific physical acts, regardless of my overall impression of that person.

So, please, do go on to explain why it is inappropriate for me to say "I don't find myself desiring sex with someone who X", where X is represented by "has a certain skin tone" in one case or "is (pick a gender)" in the another case. Then, please go on to explain how this is an aspect of racism, as opposed to a personal opinion on aesthetics and desire. After that, I'd appreciate an in-depth analysis of what "desire" even means, with appropriate charts and graphs, with special focus as to the correlation between "does not find sexually appealing" and "would like to expunge from humanity due to racial inferiority".

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 10:59 PM

still looking like Harry Potter with my replacement emergency 1995 round spectacles*

I bet they suit you!

Posted by: Part-Time Insomniac, Zombie Porcupine Nox Arcana Fan | August 30, 2010 11:06 PM

While we're on the subject of preferences re: dating partners, anyone know what men would consider a "big woman" (BBW? I dunno anymore)? I'm guessing those Monique or Queen Latifah would be the obvious examples, but is there a point where a woman crosses the line between average and big, while still stay on the, er, lower end of the spectrum?

*has been wondering about this for a while*

Posted by: Rey Fox, Bird Caller Guy | August 30, 2010 11:12 PM

My favorite race is blue. Like Mystique. Mmmm.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 30, 2010 11:16 PM

Rey:

My favorite race is blue. Like Mystique. Mmmm.

Or Zhaan. Mmrrrreowr.

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage | August 30, 2010 11:18 PM

Feynmaniac:

Everyone has racial prejudices.

No doubt that's true: Even the most liberal minded of us is probably incapable of entirely escaping the instinctive tendency to identify with one's own clan/group. On top of that, those of who have been raised in racist societies (and really, who among us hasn't been) also struggle to overcome received social prejudice.

But why do you jump to the assumption that aesthetic preferences necessarily reflect racial prejudices? If I say I find red hair (and the pale porcelain skin that often accompanies it) beautiful, is it really necessary to impute that to some invidious racial attitude, or can you not accept that I just find it beautiful? Does it change your mind if I say I also find the very dark skin and hair of women from some parts of Africa and the Caribbean extraordinarily beautiful? Put the two together, and it looks more like a preference for visual contrast than it does an attitude about certain kinds of people. Can it not simply be a matter of aesthetic preference, without any sinister undertones?

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | August 30, 2010 11:21 PM

Josh:

Do that many men really find women who are clearly malnourished (I mean this literally, not as snark) jaw-droppingly sexy?

I highly doubt it. The "little boy ideal" came from fashion designers who wanted clothes hangers, not women, on the runway.

It's been my experience that even men who prefer skinny women want healthy looking women with some boobs, hips, and ass.

Posted by: Liberal | August 30, 2010 11:33 PM

http://www.wow.com/2010/08/30/breakfast-topic-are-there-atheists-in-azeroth/

For the atheist MMO players *cough*

The comments section is actually quite an interesting read. Well... if you're a WoW geek that is.

Posted by: Part-Time Insomniac, Zombie Porcupine Nox Arcana Fan | August 30, 2010 11:33 PM

Well, it was a worth a shot. And ah, it's not just the fashion designers who want super-skinny women. I have heard of guys who like the skeletal look in woman, and vice versa. Why, I don't know. If I see a guy that skinny, I'm afraid I'll snap him in half if I hug him just a bit too hard.

Note: I lift weights as part of my exercise. Strangely enough, I've always been rather strong even when I was little. And it usually got me in trouble somehow. I suspect this partially contributes to my feelings about super-skinny men.

#538: ODS, I've wondered if I could make a killing by building androids that are just skinny enough to be the walking clothes hangers fashion designers so dearly want. Not that I have the know-how to do so, but it seemed an interesting idea to me.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 30, 2010 11:42 PM

I've wondered if I could make a killing by building androids that are just skinny enough to be the walking clothes hangers fashion designers so dearly want.

Having worked in that industry I'd say you couldn't make them cheaply enough.

Flesh is the cheapest thing you can buy.

You go out looking to recruit 12 to 16 year old girls who are interested and you can find any body type you decide you want. They'll work for you, keeping themselves marketable, not the other way around.

Who could manufacture that as cheaply as it can be found?

Every day female babies are born. A certain percentage of them will be marketable, and a certain percentage of those will be willing.

And there ya go.

Posted by: 朴競花/박경화 (Gyeong Hwa) | August 30, 2010 11:44 PM

My favorite race is blue. Like Mystique. Mmmm.

Or Zhaan. Mmrrrreowr.

Or Krishna!

On the subject of attraction, I've stated many time what turns me on. And I've also said it isn't the only thing I look for in a person. I'm curious of other pharyngulites' taste if they'd like to share.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 30, 2010 11:46 PM

Well, the thundergrumbling has commenced and the lightning. I've already unhooked the generator and I'm sure the power will be off again in short order. So, I'm outta here for the night.

G'night, G'day, G'morning to all.

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | August 30, 2010 11:48 PM

But why do you jump to the assumption that aesthetic preferences necessarily reflect racial prejudices?

I don't think it's necessarily racist. But given the history I think if someone does have those feeling it's something they should really examine. And mentioning it causally on a blog is quite insensitive.

... explain why it is inappropriate for me to say "I don't find myself desiring sex with someone who X", where X is represented by "has a certain skin tone" but it is perfectly acceptable to say it when X is represented by "is (pick a gender)".

It's inappropriate because we live in a culture which has been strongly discouraging for members of the majority group Y from having relations with group X. You're not saying this in a vacuuum. Also, I've already mentioned why I think the analogy with gender is inappropriate.

with special focus as to the correlation between "does not find sexually appealing" and "would like to expunge from humanity due to racial inferiority".

Again, prejudices are much more than just viewing others as inferior. You don't have to want to eradicate a group in order to have prejudices agianst that group.

Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe | August 31, 2010 12:03 AM

It sucks to be an only child

I like drunk Walton.

Seriously, I don't believe for a moment that you are as ugly as you seem to think you are.

A little skinny for my taste

Sharing a common interest in politics doesn't seem to have much effect on romantic attraction.

and regrettable drunk postings.

Don't forget the Mormon names. I quite enjoyed calling myself "Waltonvilar Bodily Q. Tabernacle, Prince of the Stars."

And there have to be bonus points for really creative insults.

But does your beau know you're poly?

Dean says more American teenagers are embracing what she calls "moralistic therapeutic deism." Translation: It's a watered-down faith that portrays God as a "divine therapist" whose chief goal is to boost people's self-esteem.

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | August 31, 2010 12:08 AM

Am I to understand that my general lack of a sexual desire toward a certain range of skin tones means something other than that I am unlikely to find myself engaging in a sexual act with such a person?

Again, you're coming from a culture that has historically had a strong racist attitude against interracial mixing and it doesn't at least give you pause that your preferences just happen match that?

If you say I am not giving them a fair chance in the relationship arena, I'm willing to agree with that, but I fail to see why I should when there's a lack of attraction.

What I say is that you should examine why you feel a lack of attraction and keep in mind it's very easy to fool oneself and rationalize the irrational.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 31, 2010 12:24 AM

Feynmaniac:

What I say is that you should examine why you feel a lack of attraction and keep in mind it's very easy to fool oneself and rationalize the irrational.

and:

If you don't see a problem with that, then I guess we're done here.

I get what you're saying. And, on a macro-scale, I think I probably agree with you.

But I also think you're being extremely presumptuous, and you need to back off a little. You seem to be automatically assuming that a person's subjective "irrational" attractions or lack thereof are most likely due to latent racism.

Putting it as delicately as I can - who do you think you are? Seriously. You're making some good points, but you've stepped way over the line between "bringing up a touchy subject that needs to be discussed by people of good will" and "making obnoxious judgments about actual individuals that you have no right to make."

Enough already. You don't get to psychoanalyze me and layer on a bunch of stuff about latent racism.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 31, 2010 12:40 AM

Caine:

I understand what Feynmaniac's saying, I'm not sure why you don't.

Well, I understand (and agree with) some of what Feynmaniac is saying, but not all of it, and I don't think I'm unreasonable on that front. He does, in fact, seem to be mixing up some categories and definitions in such a way as to seem to accuse people unjustifiably of unexamined racism - it's not just Ch'tturgha who thinks this.

I wish Feynmaniac would be a little more specific, and a little more careful.

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right | August 31, 2010 12:49 AM

It wouldn't be the United States of Canada; it would still be the Dominion of Canada (from sea to sea).

We need you. I want the Alaskan Panhandle (that's the last time we let Great Britain negotiate for us, I tell you, when they want something from the U.S.). Ah, who am I kidding? The winner in the Spanish-British territorial negotiations got Barbados and Bermuda with their sugar; Canada went to the loser.

And as someone once said, it's the world's longest undefended border because defending it on one side is unnecessary and on the other would be futile. But we're not a U.S. satrapy yet, at least in name! And our Conservative Reform Alliance Party (yes, they really called themselves for about two days until they realized what CRAP would look like in headlines) hasn't yet turned us into a 2-bit imitation 'Murka.

We don't fear being shot over a parking space. We can go out for a walk at night. We have religious toleration, for the most part. We have universal Medicare and pensions! And cookies! So come along. If you can prise any border states away from the Bible Belt, welcome!

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 31, 2010 1:01 AM

Let's have a little fun with fundies. First up, Fear the Army of Gay!:

There was a time when being a US Marine meant it was illegal to be a homosexual. Then it became legal to do homosexual acts as long as you didnt tell and no one could ask you. Next step is that it will be mandatory to be a homosexual, and nothing else. An army of armed homosexuals with nuclear weapons capability is an army to be feared indeed.

Next, Word Salad in Religion Dressing:

"Just to set things straight:

Banning sex is NOT sinful, banning reproduction however IS. God wants us to reproduce and raise families, it's our lot in life. If anything, the removal of taboos placed on sexuality will cause a downward slide in reproduction. As sex is progressively viewed as a recreational activity, pressure to make anti-conceptive methods more effective builds up, sex becomes more common but reproduction becomes scarce. The solution would be to ban sex entirely whilst making methods of artificial insemination mandatory.

It's not a question of HOW we reproduce but IF. I don't think God would shed many tears if we replaced a primitive and sensual method of reproduction with something more civilized and modest. It's the same concept behind why we rarely create fire by rubbing two sticks together anymore, just with more moral reasoning."

Then we have the obligatory rant about Atheists Ruining Everything:

There is no greater threat to science than atheist mentality.

Highly religious Theists invented the scientific method, classical physics, electromagnetic theory, and quantum theory. After atheists finally took over science in the late 1960s and early 1970s and claimed religion was holding back science, we immediately stopped finding cures, physics became stuck with untestable theories, and technology started growing much slower than anticipated.

Atheist mentality is that everything outside of the evidence, outside of the box, outside of your personal incredulity, outside of what most scientists believe is fantasy and imagination, nonsense, fictional, foolishness, magical thinking.

Atheists try to prevent people from thinking outside in this way or having creativity and imagination because thinking outside is viewed as nonsensical fantasy to most atheists. That's why they discourage thinking outside of the evidence.

In the past when Theists ran science, creativity was not discouraged like how it is now intentionally by atheists.

When we look back at the history of science we see that vast majority of the ideas that caused science to grow the most were all ideas that were initially viewed as nonsense, and these ideas were outside of what most scientists believed.

Since atheists run the peer reviewed journals now, they only let in ideas that match into their own personal incredulity otherwise it is viewed as nonsense and fantasy and not let into peer-reviewed journals.

If atheists hadn't taken over the peer reviewed journals, and creativity and imagination wasn't intentionally discouraged by atheists, how far do you think science would be?

Since atheist mentality causes the greatest destruction to creativity and imagination, how far do you think science would be if Theists still ran science?

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | August 31, 2010 1:13 AM

There was a time when being a US Marine meant it was illegal to be a homosexual. Then it became legal to do homosexual acts as long as you didnt tell and no one could ask you.

Correction: So long as you posed for smokin' hawt amateur marine porn websites. And I promise I won't ask - how could I put into words what only images can convey?

Next step is that it will be mandatory to be a homosexual, and nothing else.

Praise Jesus, and yes please!

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | August 31, 2010 1:33 AM

Josh:

Oh, and Caine? Please pass the croutons. I mean, this religion dressing is just delicious, but it lacks a certain crunch. Thanks doll.

Croutons? Scrounges in the cupboard...

The Nasty Ghey Crunchies:

I Really Don’t Understand Gay People, Do They Not Know God Is Perfect, He Would Not Create Something Imperfect As A Gay Person.

I Know There’s People Probably Saying Well He Continues To Allow Imperfect People To Be Born, But It Is Our Duty To Make The Right Choices. To Be Honest What Good Is There In Gay People. There Isn’t Any.

* Gays Increase Bullying
* Gays Create More Confused Children
* Gays Decrease Our Population
* Gays Increase Aids

I Know People Are Gonna Have a Whole Bunch Of Blah Blah Blah To Say But Whatever Its My Opinion.

And the What are women good for crunchies:

The greatest achievement a woman is capable of, and the one which all women strive for, is the ability to provide every male she encounters with a firm erection.

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right | August 31, 2010 1:37 AM

Gaining weight: what does your mum like? How about go for nuts, cheeses, cream cheese and buttered bagels, avocadoes? Peanut butter sandwiches?

Posted by: Hekuni Cat, Champion of Oriana | August 31, 2010 2:02 AM

Caine:

Rey:
My favorite race is blue. Like Mystique. Mmmm.

Or Zhaan. Mmrrrreowr.

While I find Mystique very interesting, Zhaan is hot.

Posted by: Hekuni Cat, Champion of Oriana | August 31, 2010 2:14 AM

It's late here. Good night, all!

Posted by: Cath the Canberra Cook | August 31, 2010 3:12 AM

So, um, in this hypothetical about sexual attraction and race, is it supposed to be that if you fancy the look of black people then you're not racist? Y'know, the history of slavery is very very ugly, and I wouldn't want to call white slave-owner rapists and concubine-keepers non-racist. It's very clear that a person can want to fuck someone without respecting them one iota. I don't see why the reverse shouldn't hold; and at least it's nicer.

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | August 31, 2010 3:42 AM

cicely,

Okay, now I'm dying of curiosity. Walton, may I have your permission to email your super-sekret Pharyngula-only email address and get a link to your picture, too?

Sure, feel free. :-)

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | August 31, 2010 4:28 AM

Sili, #326:

Fucktards! Cowards! Wankers! Gobshite! ARRGLE RARRGLE BLARRGLE!

Damn! I wanted to say that.

You've succinctly nailed exactly the sentiments I have for the wussification of the only force standing between us and Jeebusland II. It's unfortunate that the electorate of the U.S. is too dogfucking ignorant to understand that there are more than two parties, and could actually develop a decent alternative with a concerted, organized effort. But, until then, the Dum-ocrats are the thin red line keeping Scare-ya Palin from the launch codes.

Posted by: MsAnnThrope | August 31, 2010 5:10 AM

Feynmaniac, coming from a society with extremely fucked up views of race (I'm South African), I aree with what you're saying.

A lil anecdote to describe this type of latent racism:
A single *white* female friend is attending Portugeuse lessons and finds the *white* teacher quite attractive. She tells me (indian female) that she thinks she has a good chance of hitting it off with the teacher since she is the only white chick in the class.

Now this friend would never describe herself as racist (ofcourse not, she has so many black friends) BUT her implication is that white people only ever find other white people attractive. This attitude is far more prevalent than anybody wants to admit. Not just in fucked up ol' SA either.

As Cath mentioned earlier, ofcourse just wanting to fuck somebody doesn't equal respect but if you exlude people from your idea of "attractiveness" based on race (not skin colour, but actual ethnicity) you should closely examine your reasons. Outdated social attitudes are more pervasive than you think.

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | August 31, 2010 5:40 AM

Part-Time Insomniac, #530: > Categorizing by size/weight is an affliction brought on by media pap. I dated a woman who, if I recall right, outweighed me by a hundred lbs (and I'm no lightweight) but the fact of it really never entered my head at the time. She had multiple masters degrees (in sciences, engineering and humanities) and that was the thing that made my libido go 'HAWT DAMN, SEXY!!!' The bonus was discovered after getting to know her and finding out she also liked sex multiple times a day, which for any guy is like =8D news.

Size defining is usually just used for derogatory callousness. If a lady is larger than media norms I just say she is extra-curvy and leave it at that. If she's smarter than me (which doesn't take much), size is immaterial and I'm instantly liking her.

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | August 31, 2010 6:03 AM

#583: Now we're having to excuse the expression of the actual scientific term of body parts? Ai jai jai!

Posted by: windy | August 31, 2010 6:17 AM

Porcupines are rodents, so to make them truly fearsome, we need to do some genetic tweaking.

You're forgetting that they're Rodents of Unusual Size.

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | August 31, 2010 6:30 AM

#587: WTF??? You didn't excuse the expression!!!

What is this world coming to?

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 31, 2010 7:53 AM

Good morning everyone!

Posted by: Birger Johansson | August 31, 2010 8:13 AM

Windy @ 586: "You're forgetting that they're Rodents of Unusual Size."

Soo...we cross porcupines with capybaras (big, but still small enough to crawl through ventilation ducts) add the genes for gecko feet (so they can climb vertical walls) and VERY powerful canines, venomous spurs of the platypus (starts laughing hysterically) and, and Deinonychus claws, and acid for bloo...(gets dragged away by the nice people in white coats).

Posted by: Katherine Lorraine, Chaton de la Mort | August 31, 2010 8:20 AM

@Birger Johansson:

Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist *ROAR!*

Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger | August 31, 2010 8:30 AM

Well, you *could* be an atheist in Azeroth... (time sink warning)

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | August 31, 2010 8:34 AM

'schach, my point is that if you grow up in a place with a history of segregation, then that history determines who you 'grew up with' and, hypothetically, tend to be sexually attracted to.
Likewise, racial prejudice is far nmore likely in people who grew up with only people that look like them.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 31, 2010 8:39 AM

I dunno Rorschach. It may be different there for all I know. We still have a pretty recent segregationist history and I can vouch for the race-matching preference being assumed. For instance I remember a girl I was friends with in undergrad. I would never have called her a racist in the sense I might mean it for some.

Her boyfriend cheated on her. Painful enough. But one thing she was particularly hurt by was that the new gf was black.

Her reaction was as much "Oh god I didn't know he was into that" as it was anything else.

But if I think about it my mother went to segregated schools until high school.

And for instance I could only wish for a dollar every time I hear either:

"Well that's what she gets for dating a Mexican"

or

"Well they [Mexican girls] always look sexy when they're teenagers but give them five years."

I'm reminded of an art historian that made a footnote in a book about Gauguin that his 13 year old girlfriend was 18 in our years. These were the books we read, education we received, and at no point did it seem out of place until some one mentioned it.

Whether people come out and say it or not the sentiment is often that to mix with these "others" is to invite trouble on yourself. I wouldn't imagine that a lot of people don't pick up on that.

Thus you get the brown people are for fucking not caring about phenomenon. Which of course creates bizarre status issues on both sides.

It's all tacit racism. No one comes out and says "These people all suck because they're x race" but the feelings are lurking in what people see when they look at others.

I don't know if it means anything for an individual. Once people are set they tend to stay set. And different people have completely different ways of determining what they're attracted to.

But it's worth asking I think.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | August 31, 2010 8:44 AM

I'd suck her toes I guess

You are an interesting man, sir.

Posted by: MsAnnThrope | August 31, 2010 8:54 AM

It's all tacit racism.

A very good description of the situation. In some ways it's a lot more difficult to deal with this sort of shit than overt bigotry, mostly since the people perpetrating it would deny it the ends of the earth.