…and this is a 
Sometimes, my email is a little disturbing.
I AM
I AM the "goddamned cracker" sir. This is a personal invitation. I am Karl Duane Anderson. I live at REDACTED in Fargo, North Dakota. If you want to desecrate the Body of Christ, please find out just what it is that you are desecrating. Come to my upstairs apartment and do it to me.
What, a cracker is asking me to come to his apartment and nail him? I'm flattered, sir, but this is not Craig's List, I do not swing that way, and if I did, I would respond better to an invitation to dinner and a movie than to ordering me directly to your place to do you.
However, I am such a nice guy that I will inform Karl that he will have an opportunity to meet plenty of godless folk at the 2010 Red River Valley Freethought Convention, taking place on 18 September at the Radisson near the Fargo Civic Center. Ease in, big fella, let's just have some pleasant conversation.
(Oh, yes, I still get cracker mail, although it's now down to about a half-dozen pieces a week, about evenly split between aggressive angry jerks and formal hand-written letters on flowery stationery from little old ladies crying about how much Jesus loves me.)
Comments
Posted by: feralboy12
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August 18, 2010 3:05 PM
Perhaps he wants you to run him through a woodchipper.
Posted by: Jolo5309
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August 18, 2010 3:06 PM
Hey Karl, your cracker is here...
[cue music]
boom chicka bow wow
Posted by: 朴競花/박경화 (Gyeong Hwa)
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August 18, 2010 3:09 PM
That's some extreme kink.
They do have some of the best stationary.
Posted by: raven
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August 18, 2010 3:11 PM
Picture or it isn't real.
I don't believe he is a cracker. Xians always lie.
Posted by: Glen Davidson
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August 18, 2010 3:11 PM
Oh I don't know, I'd be tempted to ram a rusty nail into him.
Glen Davidson
Posted by: Zeno
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August 18, 2010 3:12 PM
Damn. I live at REDACTED, too. I wonder if I know him.
Posted by: secularshawshank
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August 18, 2010 3:12 PM
We know what it was. It was a cracker, not the body of some dead philosopher who (may or may not have) lived in 1st century Palestine. The fact that you believe it's more than a cracker does not make it more than a cracker.
What a silly person.
Posted by: Draken
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August 18, 2010 3:17 PM
Maybe Karl meant "crackpot"? It's easy to misspell.
Posted by: David Marjanović
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August 18, 2010 3:18 PM
Oh, so thaaaaat's what craigslist is and why I get spam from it.
Posted by: irenedelse
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August 18, 2010 3:19 PM
Don't you realize? This guy, Karl Duane Anderson, has the true body of Christ!!! Quick, Christians, you must flock to [REDACTED] and build a church! Two churches! A city of temples and tabernacles! Rejoice, o ye faithful, for the Son of God is baaaaack!
Posted by: raven
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August 18, 2010 3:20 PM
Hmmm, it looks like he is claiming to be the Body of Christ.
This is a common delusion among the psychotic and the asylums usually have a few jesuses running around. You have to keep them apart or they tend to get into fights over who is the Real Jesus.
Someone should tell him to check his drivers license or take his pulse. Last I heard, jesus had been dead for 2,000 years.
Posted by: Kalex
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August 18, 2010 3:22 PM
You may want to redact a bit more... there aren't many "Karl D. Anderson" in Fargo.
Posted by: Rubicon
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August 18, 2010 3:28 PM
Why did it have to be a Karl with a 'K' and not a 'C'? Being a Karl with a 'K', it has always been my experience that Karls are much more reasoned and intelligent than Carls. Damn.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM
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August 18, 2010 3:29 PM
This being North Dakota, "I am the cracker" could be read in another, less flattering way and still be apt.
I shall have to drive down to Fargo that weekend. Seeing as how it will be a few days after my birthday, I will expect many free drinks.
Posted by: Gregory Greenwood
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August 18, 2010 3:30 PM
This sounds like a job for Smoggy Batzrubble and Floyd Rubber....
Posted by: Moggie
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August 18, 2010 3:31 PM
I think Karl has watched Spartacus one too many times.
Posted by: Mr Ed
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August 18, 2010 3:32 PM
I am the goddamned cracker, they are the goddamned cracker.
I am the Body of Christ, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.
Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo...
I new I heard this some where before.
Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes
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August 18, 2010 3:32 PM
"C'mon Antiochus...why don't you never return my tweets?"
"Settle, brah...I've been busier than PZ Myers in the Fargo Cracker Barrel"
Posted by: Evolving Squid
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August 18, 2010 3:34 PM
Dammit, Mr Ed beat me to it.
Posted by: Capital Dan
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August 18, 2010 3:36 PM
Is it just me, or does it seem that when Christians get really upset and/or demanding, they sound more and more like bad porn? You know, the whole "Jesus comes inside me," and "Get on your knees for the lord cometh."
It's really disturbing.
Posted by: MosesZD
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August 18, 2010 3:36 PM
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob
G-goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' goo
G-goo goo g' joob goo
Posted by: toadslick
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August 18, 2010 3:38 PM
Have you ever thought about creating a cracker email database? Or publishing a cracker email book?
I'd happily browse the former, and purchase the latter.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM
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August 18, 2010 3:38 PM
You know, the whole "Jesus comes inside me," and "Get on your knees for the lord cometh."
Even U2 got in the act:
If you wanna touch the sky, you'd better learn how to kneel.
On your knees, boy!
Posted by: MosesZD
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August 18, 2010 3:38 PM
Oh, piffle. I was beaten to the Beatles pun.
Posted by: MosesZD
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August 18, 2010 3:43 PM
He's already #1 on google for this search string:
"Karl Duane Anderson Fargo North Dakota"
I can see some others might be having mischievous thoughts...
Posted by: randydudek
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August 18, 2010 3:44 PM
How does even the most delusional fundie reconcile that statement with any of the rest of the babble? Did he not just call himself Jesus?
I'll get the boards...
Posted by: Kawa
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August 18, 2010 3:46 PM
Wow. Even I'm disturbed by this.
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage
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August 18, 2010 3:46 PM
Can't he make up his mind which he is?
Posted by: Capital Dan
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August 18, 2010 3:47 PM
Ooo... A book of PZ's crackermail could be pretty freakin' sweet, and it would go a long way in showing the planet how sick and deranged and dangerous some believers can be.
Posted by: irenedelse
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August 18, 2010 3:56 PM
Kinky invitations, formal letters on flowery paper... PZ, tell us, are there marriage proposals too?
Posted by: James F
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August 18, 2010 3:57 PM
"You can imagine where it goes from here."
"He fixes the cable?"
"Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey."
Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites
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August 18, 2010 3:57 PM
Interesting: after careful perusal of a number of online dictionaries, I have discovered that there is no word in the English language sufficient to convey how tedious I find the concerns of Catholics whose Catholicism has been offended.
Thus I'm sure the Bible contains another error: the inscription Pontius Pilate wrote upon Jesus' cross was not "INRI", but "YAWN".
Posted by: raven
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August 18, 2010 3:57 PM
Karl Duane Anderson Fargo North Dakota
Favorite quotes. I am the "godamned cracker" and
Come to my upstairs apartment and do it to me.
Real smart, Karl Duane Anderson Fargo North Dakota. For the next 100 years, anyone who googles his name will discover that he thinks he is a godamned cracker and is begging for something that sounds vaguely kinky.
Posted by: daveau
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August 18, 2010 4:08 PM
Used to be that they'd just want to show you their etchings.
Posted by: «bønez_brigade»
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August 18, 2010 4:14 PM
PZ,
Methinks he did it for the lulz -- and b/c he wanted to get nailed by the 2nd-sexiest atheist blogger.
Posted by: nejishiki
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August 18, 2010 4:14 PM
We prefer to be called "low-income caucasians," Mr. Anderson.
Posted by: rick020200
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August 18, 2010 4:23 PM
Antiochus Epiphanes FTW!Posted by: kagenokami
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August 18, 2010 4:26 PM
Awesome PZ. Thanks for the heads up. Just bought my ticket to the convention. (Live in Grand Forks...figure it's worth the drive.)
Posted by: rick020200
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August 18, 2010 4:30 PM
Posted by: magicJay
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August 18, 2010 4:37 PM
Hasn't PZ said before that he still has more crackers?
Crumble one up and send it to Karl with a note,
"This is just a warning, I want $50 million or your god gets it! P.S. It just a FUCKING CRACKER!!!"
Posted by: Andreas Johansson
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August 18, 2010 4:39 PM
'Tis Himself wrote:
Crackers can't have names now?
Next you'll be saying sandwiches shouldn't be allowed to vote.
Posted by: Whore of All the Earth
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August 18, 2010 4:40 PM
A godless Fargoan here who will be at the convention, and hoping Karl won't.
(I'm also apartment hunting, and hoping I don't end up living next to Karl.)
Posted by: KIN
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August 18, 2010 4:40 PM
Cracker? Maybe he's just a white guy with a low self esteem.
And a bit of a masochism fetish what with all the "desecrating" he wants to have done to himself.
Posted by: Syzygy
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August 18, 2010 4:42 PM
Rubicon @ 13,
I hate to do this to you (and by hate I mean delight), but please google Karl Pilkington.
Karl "Why Didn't Evolution Make a Giraffe Good At Carpentry So It Could Build a Ladder" Pilkington.
Posted by: chigau (◦_◦)
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August 18, 2010 4:45 PM
Jadehawk,OM is moving to Fargo...
Posted by: lose_the_woo
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August 18, 2010 4:46 PM
If only karl would extend the invitation. I, for one, would luv to participate in the enabling of karl's wish to play pretend as a cracker while being penetrated by a rusty cylindrical piercing implement.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp
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August 18, 2010 4:54 PM
So uh Karl, would that be the uh, Cracker in the wood chipper eh?
Posted by: Korbl
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August 18, 2010 4:58 PM
My first response was "Myers called someone a cracker? That's insane. He's white too."
Then as I read on, I remembered the eucharist host(I was raised catholic, this is the word my brain links to it, lay off...). I'm quite amused that christians are still making a big deal out of it when I completely forgot.
Posted by: Martin
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August 18, 2010 5:05 PM
Thank you, PZ, for making me laugh out loud at my desk.Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites
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August 18, 2010 5:06 PM
Now, I like this idea. Extend the ransom to the entire Catholic Church. Whether or not True Believers™ cough up the change will tell you just how much they believe their own bullshit. Of course, there'll always be some cleverdick who'll insist that it's not a consecrated cracker, but thanks to the Miracle of Make-Believe™ there's no way to tell. And so here's where Pascal's Wager comes into play:
"I know what you're thinking: 'Does he hold a consecrated cracker or a regular one?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this could be the body of your Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ, who holds the keys to Heaven or Hell, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, Pope?"
Posted by: Shala
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August 18, 2010 5:06 PM
I don't believe you. I can't believe anyone would be insane enough to write "I AM THE GODDAMNED CRACKER". No, just no.
It's August Fools everyone!
Posted by: Dave A
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August 18, 2010 5:08 PM
Isn't a "Cracker" what the Florida beef ranch hands were named for the cracking of the of their whips when they were driving cattle.
Rawhide head-em up, round-em up Rahide. No whip sound available at this time.
I think retrogade, wacko,degenerate and just plain fucked up would be a better adj. for Karl
Posted by: NeuroMarkus
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August 18, 2010 5:12 PM
I applaud the un- or intentional pun.
Posted by: johnlil#0a224
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August 18, 2010 5:14 PM
My own last name is Anderson, and I want to make it clear that we Scottish Andersons are in no way related to the kipper-gobbling Scandinavian Andersons found in upstairs apartments in the upper Midwest.
While it's true we Scottish Andersons eat unusual oatmeal and animal stomach concoctions, wear skirts, and consider it a sport to have burlier members of our clan toss telephone poles about, we are NOT the trashy, ashen-faced Andersons who make thinly veiled threats to innocent biologists.
We do, however, sincerely believe in that lake monster thingy. And I'll thrash any man who makes light of it. More whisky!
Posted by: skeptifem
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August 18, 2010 5:22 PM
hey, hes taking the word back.
...
Anyway, my mouse is named cracker. it had no defining characteristics outside of whiteness. I use it from time to time to describe other white people. Honky has made its way into my regular rotation too. Men are dudes now, permanently. The name of disadvantaged groups are insults in regular language (woman, black, jew, queer, gay, mexican, etc), so complaining about being called a cracker or a honky seems silly to me.
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/CqmwU_Ju3.eW8CmrW56tDntVTsYAq9koCw--#67a04
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August 18, 2010 5:32 PM
@50:
You might run into a few legal issues calling it "ransom", but PZ, why not sell the crackers one at a time for, say, $100 a pop? Surely money is no object when it comes to protecting the sanctity of the host.
I'll even go one better: sell the crackers, and state very clearly that all proceeds go to the godless charity of your choice (and give them a few options but force 'em to choose one before they can buy).
It's brilliantly biblical - as Jesus himself said:
"If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou
hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven"
Posted by: quantheory
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August 18, 2010 5:37 PM
Is this the guy who calls into "The Atheist Experience" claiming to be God? If not, we should get the two of them to meet.
Posted by: btthegeek
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August 18, 2010 5:45 PM
Ohh, I LOVE the I AM sayings. This one is my absolute favorite:
I AM the very model of a scientist salarian,
I've studied species, Turian, Asari and Batarian,
I'm guite good at genetics (as a subset of biology),
because I am an expert, (which I know is a tautology).
My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian,
I AM the very model of a scientist salarian!
Just google Mordin Solus.
Posted by: Andyo
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August 18, 2010 5:51 PM
Is there any list of banned words here? I know Conserva****a is one. I just one simple comment held for moderation. No links or anything.
Posted by: Shala
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August 18, 2010 5:57 PM
I AM the very model of a scientist salarian,
I've studied species, Turian, Asari and Batarian,
Posted by: Shala
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August 18, 2010 6:00 PM
Er, quote fail. I meant to just say that that was awesome.
Posted by: Manny Calavera
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August 18, 2010 6:04 PM
Karl Duane Anderson is clearly Dr. Tobias Funke using an alias.
Posted by: Birger Johansson
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August 18, 2010 6:09 PM
Don´t go to Fargo, PZ! That guy has a wood chipper behind his house!
--- --- --- ---
@ 54: "We do, however, sincerely believe in that lake monster thingy. And I'll thrash any man who makes light of it. More whisky!"
-Since Scotsmen migrated from Ireland once, I think we have found Greg Laden´s relative!
Posted by: mothra
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August 18, 2010 6:09 PM
Yes, that cracker is from my town of Fargo. But, the link to the Freethought convention given is unfortunately not the official link and the site location was updated some time ago. We are now in a better place- Radisson Motel (next to the Civic Cener): Better venue, more facilities, greater space, and on the top floor of the (nearly) tallest building in ND.
For complete convention information click link
http://www.project42convention.org/index.html
Posted by: PZ Myers
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August 18, 2010 6:15 PM
Your sin was using the word "N*str*d*m*s", which is banned because it is a favorite hobby-horse of Dennis M*rk*ze.
Posted by: PZ Myers
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August 18, 2010 6:17 PM
Very good, I've changed the link.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp
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August 18, 2010 6:18 PM
Dr. Tobias Funk? The famous Analrapist?
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp
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August 18, 2010 6:20 PM
e
Posted by: Paul
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August 18, 2010 6:35 PM
Fünke
Posted by: mothra
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August 18, 2010 6:41 PM
Thanks PZ!!
The cracker in question places the occasional letter in the local Newspaper as well. He appears to be going downhill. I hope he makes it to the convention as he would meet many friendly people without his particular shackles.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM
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August 18, 2010 6:43 PM
Jadehawk,OM is moving to Fargo...
Hasn't she already?
How many North Dakotans we got in here? Shit, there's like three of us from GF, which may be all the atheists in town.
Posted by: mothra
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August 18, 2010 6:44 PM
I should also mention that the local Atheist Meetup group is a wonderful time/place for atheists to converse on any number of topics- a very informal setting with a good facilitator (way to formal a word)- Brian
Posted by: rippingrich
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August 18, 2010 6:54 PM
Sounds smitten by you PZ, maybe he will pay his own way to carry your luggage for you on your next trip.
Wouldn't that be nice?
Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe
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August 18, 2010 7:03 PM
no, she hasn't. she's currently stuck in limbo, but will be in Fargo by January.Posted by: Andyo
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August 18, 2010 7:07 PM
Thanks PZ, will make a note of it.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM
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August 18, 2010 7:15 PM
no, she hasn't. she's currently stuck in limbo, but will be in Fargo by January.
Then we should celebrate at the appropriate time.
Posted by: Kamaka
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August 18, 2010 7:23 PM
MAJeff @ 71
Nah, my nephews were raised right, they're just not Pharyngulistas. So there's five atheists in GF.
Posted by: Kamaka
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August 18, 2010 7:25 PM
Then we should celebrate at the appropriate time.
I'm in.
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawlhJkLoaLREvGWBjKzFVMpetAw91i17YYw
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August 18, 2010 7:31 PM
HOw do you know it's little old ladies who are using the flowery stationary?
Posted by: kagenokami
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August 18, 2010 7:31 PM
@Kamaka
I suppose technically I live in EAST Grand Forks, but who's counting.
Posted by: Ichthyic
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August 18, 2010 7:31 PM
no, she hasn't. she's currently stuck in limbo, but will be in Fargo by January.
I almost have to say this...
Isn't limbo a stopoff on the way to hell?
*runs away*
Posted by: Robert H
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August 18, 2010 7:37 PM
Reminds me a bit of John Lennon: I am the goddamned cracker, I am Karl Duane Anderson, goo goo g'joob.
Is this guy in any way related to Dutch Schultz?
Posted by: Kieranfoy, Faerie Godfather of Death, GMKSC, OED
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August 18, 2010 7:41 PM
Nope. Fargo is, though.
Posted by: Adamvs Maximvs
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August 18, 2010 7:43 PM
Wait.... he *is* the cracker...
Someone please tell the Jebusites to stop eating the crackers. Karl is still alive you sick bastards!
Oh the humanity!!!
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/JsFW3lEwifH2MY6RQqX8H4RqH6vdAaOE#14901
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August 18, 2010 7:58 PM
Posted by: Kamaka
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August 18, 2010 7:59 PM
One of dem Minnesotans, eh?
You don't count as one of the five of us GF Rough-Ridin' atheists.
Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi
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August 18, 2010 8:16 PM
Brownian #32: because it's more than both ennui and malaise, maybe hyperenuaise is what you're looking for. If the interwebs has taught me anything it's that if the English language is lacking words you just bloody make them up yourself.
Posted by: kagenokami
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August 18, 2010 8:27 PM
@Kamaka
Nope, I'm Californian. I be new to these here parts. Suppose thats the reason I'm such a liberal god-hating traitor to this great country, or something.
Posted by: Andrew Hall
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August 18, 2010 8:29 PM
I'm more than happy with the non-weird email I get.
http://laughinginpurgatory.blogspot.com/2010/08/in-your-opinion-do-organized-religions.html
Posted by: MAJeff, OM
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August 18, 2010 8:33 PM
I suppose technically I live in EAST Grand Forks, but who's counting.
You get Franken and Klobuchar. We get Conrad and (probably) Hoeven. That counts for a LOT.
Posted by: roxane.murray
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August 18, 2010 8:36 PM
Really, I don't envy you your e-mail. But I get a huge charge out of your sharing it with us.
Posted by: Kamaka
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August 18, 2010 8:38 PM
Have you forgotten Bachmann? Not in his district, but the smell clings.
Posted by: Kamaka
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August 18, 2010 8:44 PM
A winter virgin in the Red River Valley? Oh, are you in for a treat.
You'll be needing to put the top up on your convertable.
Posted by: kagenokami
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August 18, 2010 8:45 PM
@Kamaka
I wondered what that was.....
Posted by: John Morales
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August 18, 2010 8:52 PM
[meta]
Yahoomess JsFW3lEwifH2MY6RQqX8H4RqH6vdAaOE#14901:
Since you have nothing to say, you should say nothing, instead of stupidly embedding some video or other. Way to clag up the thread.
May your spam folder o'erflow.
Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe
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August 18, 2010 8:58 PM
I like the sound of that :-) hehePosted by: Leo
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August 18, 2010 9:02 PM
We need politicians in the U.S. who will talk to religious this way:
http://www.pamshouseblend.com/diary/17095/mexico-city-mayor-sues-guadalajara-bishop-over-antimarriage-equality-remarks
Posted by: druidbros
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August 18, 2010 9:04 PM
I would go crazy if I had to live in Fargo. SI guess I am giving the nut job an excuse.
Posted by: The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
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August 18, 2010 9:19 PM
@ Brownian, OM # 50:
If you hadn't already won a Molly, you'd deserve one for that.
Now, somewhat off-topic: I started (regularly) reading Pharyngula right after the Crackergate...unpleasantness. I read some of the comments in the aftermath, but tackling the whole thing was just too much.
Not too long ago I got some free time and was going to try reading all the Crackergate posts, but to my dismay, all the troll-spew had been removed! Where's the entertainment value in that?
Can anyone point me to an archive with the uncensored version of the whole brouhaha? Oh, and picking the relevant posts out of the running archives would be nice, too.
By the way, P Z—I never got a chance to say, glad your medical scare was a false alarm, but take care of yourself. You're doing a lot of good here.
Posted by: TimKO,,.,,
|
August 18, 2010 9:23 PM
"If you want to desecrate the Body of Christ, please find out just what it is that you are desecrating."
This part's intriguing. I guess PZ is expected to solve a 1,850-year-old mystery (as this is the time-period in which early xtians began believing jeebus had a corporeal body on earth). Go PZ, Go; find that skeleton!
Posted by: Nineveh
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August 18, 2010 9:32 PM
I feel gross. Ew.
Posted by: Glen Davidson
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August 18, 2010 9:40 PM
I would point out to those who don't know that the repeated, in caps, "I AM" would be a reference to God, or presumably in this case, to Jesus.
Not that it's very clever or anything, but if you don't know your theology and God speaking "I AM" when asked who he is (Exodus, I think), such obvious religious references might not actually be obvious.
Glen Davidson
Posted by: Kamaka
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August 18, 2010 9:40 PM
@ kagenokami
Sometimes it's the sugar beet ponds, sometimes it's the politicians...
Posted by: GayHedBri
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August 18, 2010 10:14 PM
PZ,
You like to puff yourself up with any, I mean any attention.All hot air, it is.
Face it: You're addicted to calling attention to yor pathetic little self.
You lack intelligence and even moreso, you lack self-esteem and self-respect.
Wow, you're really big shit, you are.
I bet you gizm all over yourself after "nailing" a "cracker". "Ooh, yay, boys and girls look what I just did under the Big Top!"
Yeah, you're a real he man - NOT!!!
Loser's more like it...
Or Coward. That works, too.
Posted by: MAJeff, OM
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August 18, 2010 10:15 PM
A winter virgin in the Red River Valley? Oh, are you in for a treat.
I never even attached the hood to my coat my first winter here.
Sometimes it's the sugar beet ponds, sometimes it's the politicians...
Don't forget the potato processing plant.
Posted by: Ichthyic
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August 18, 2010 10:20 PM
You like to puff yourself up with any, I mean any attention.
shorter Hedcheese:
FAPFAPFAPFAP
Posted by: Kamaka
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August 18, 2010 10:21 PM
I call projection.
Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM
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August 18, 2010 10:22 PM
You keep describing yourself GayHedBri. Especially the loser part. Total and abject loser. Nothing cogent to say. Total lack of intelligence. If you had any, you would go elsewhere. But then, losers like you don't, and they lack the courage to do so. Keep showing us your losership. We need good laughs. And we will be laughing at you.Posted by: Insightful Ape
|
August 18, 2010 10:29 PM
Our buddy gayhed is more of a hit-and-run kind of troll.
Last time I had the misfortune of crossing paths with him was on the Andreson Cooper-interviews-Hitch thread. As in here, he was full of it, but he didn't stick by to get feedback on his dropping.
I guess that is how he has thus far avoided the dungeon.
Posted by: jpkuhn
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August 18, 2010 10:47 PM
Wow, I would never have guessed so many North Dakotans browsed this site. I go to UND, so I live in Grand Forks for the majority of the year. I believe that puts us up to what, six?
Posted by: Kamaka
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August 18, 2010 10:53 PM
Sorry, as a self-admitted part-time resident, you don't count.
Posted by: kagenokami
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August 18, 2010 11:05 PM
@ Kamaka
Not a virgin, my cherry was popped 3 1/2 years ago. I still prefer the winter here to summer's in the Imperial Valley, CA.
Posted by: F
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August 18, 2010 11:15 PM
GayHedBri
You bore me.
Posted by: Kamaka
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August 18, 2010 11:21 PM
Gotten used to 30 below, have ya?
Hard to believe we can adjust in such a way that 10 below seems like mild weather.
Posted by: geoffmovies
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August 18, 2010 11:28 PM
Don't forget to stop at the pancakes house.
Posted by: Kamaka
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August 18, 2010 11:35 PM
I've been off topic, I admit it.
Seriously, thank you for bringing the conversation back to the subject at hand.
Posted by: Kobra
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August 19, 2010 12:16 AM
I guess the guy's just a gluten for punishment.
Posted by: F
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August 19, 2010 12:28 AM
Kobra @ 117:
Ba-ZING!
Posted by: Harbo
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August 19, 2010 1:32 AM
"Homosexual felatio with cheese" Perhaps?
Posted by: DLC
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August 19, 2010 2:34 AM
"I am the cracker"
"you are the Egg-Man! "
oh, and . . .
Everybody knows the Walrus was Paul.
Posted by: Charlie Foxtrot
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August 19, 2010 2:36 AM
Well... we're...we're gonna need a lot more Karl!
ref
Posted by: Alice Bluegown
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August 19, 2010 3:24 AM
I still can't decide... does this guy think he IS Jesus, or does have an actual corpse in his apartment that he THINKS is Christ? Either way - ick.
Oh, and GayHedBri @ 104: at my school, we were always taught the proper spelling was "jism".
Posted by: jpkuhn
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August 19, 2010 4:03 AM
Tut tut, I forgot to mention, the other months of the year I live in my hometown of Bismarck. I mentioned only Grand Forks because it seemed to be where everyone else lived.Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe
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August 19, 2010 4:16 AM
not everyone. I'm in Minot for example.Posted by: Anubis Bloodsin the third
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August 19, 2010 4:28 AM
Very Cat'o'lick in issues of sexuality.
Not much changes, certainly not IQ, only the blind unthinking righteous rage that is religio based and pompous in intent in equal measures.
This nonsense e-mail is probably more to boast about to his fellow deluded then a concerted attempt at putting the frighteners on PZ.
Playing big tough jeebus worrier seems to ding a few bells in the male congregation of xian make believe.
Heavenly Brownie points are the goal, methinks 'chuckles' has a guilty conscience for some nefarious reason and is trying to recoup 'lost ground' in the salvation stakes!
If on the other hand this is a solo enacted brain fart conjured from a sorry excuse for a stunted ego twisted by 'the crows' then the smell is indeed awesome and the fellow requires serious medical intervention before he gets a reputation of entertaining atheist lotherian professor'ed up giggolo's of indeterminate age!
That will not do his rep much good kingdom come time where is is presumed you are judged by the company you keep in this mortal coil!
But it is clear that some 'jeebus is my sunbeam' fuckwads are given to excessive brooding and pouting for far longer then the average joe!
Cat'o'licks are past masters at nursing a grudge, they will still not fully apologise for Galileo, and that is nearly a 400 year old grump they nurse.
Or maybe 'chuckles' just finished his first 'Janet and John' book and wants to boast about it.
Maybe 'chuckles' found an ageing snippet on 'crackergate' in some media column while fingering through his daddies porn collection?...and found it a perfect excuse to pretend literacy.
Assuage the xian generated guilt for Mr November and the stuck together centerfold and pretend pompous xian outrage.
Makes perfect sense under some wavelengths of light methinks.
Posted by: Birger Johansson
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August 19, 2010 5:21 AM
When reading the novels of Jasper Fforde, I came across a church dedicated to the Global Standard Deity; a bland unoffensive god anyone could believe in. No particular rituals.
If people insist on having more colorful gods, I vote we resurrect one of those fun "trickster" gods, like Loki or Coyote. They were cool because they gave the finger to the bullies and to the authorities.
Posted by: aboulia
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August 19, 2010 6:36 AM
It's especially funny for me reading the RSS feeds seeing a google ad for 'God = Love Books to help you experience the miracle of divine unconditional love' Cracker dude shld take this advice and spread love instead of hate
Posted by: triskelethecat
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August 19, 2010 6:53 AM
@Ichthyic (if you come back after running away): technically, at least according to Dante, Limbo is the "vestibule" of hell, not a stop into hell. Limbo is where those angels who neither fought for heaven nor hell, and those found to be too "wishy-washy" for heaven or hell, can be found (also, IIRC, stillborn/unbaptized infants). They just fly around in a circle, chasing a banner, but no real tortures of the circles of hell.
So if Jadehawk is in Limbo, there are worse places. But I hope she is settled by the time she hopes to be (but no, not even for the pleasure of meeting Jadehawk, MAJeff, and others, could you convince me to move to ND. I'll visit on my motorcycle in the summer sometime, but not winter.)
To get back on the main topic: as has been said so often: it's just a frackin' cracker! Get over it!
Posted by: Arancaytar
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August 19, 2010 7:17 AM
I don't want to judge people's fetishes, but man, some Christians are so kinky it is disturbing.
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawntbkLlJwiX1gbzB1e7Fo4BfJhgc2TJuek
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August 19, 2010 8:18 AM
Have nails. Have mallet. Will travel.
Posted by: mikerattlesnake
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August 19, 2010 10:15 AM
@gayhedbri
The cracker incident was not a feat of strength for PZ to show how tough he was, it was a ridiculous act to show how absurd you people are. As if completely lacking self-awareness, you folks have managed to hammer the point home for quite a while now (notice that PZ doesn't actually make new posts about the cracker incident, only responses to the apoplectic rants of obsessed catholics), and probably will continue to for years to come. Thanks!
Posted by: raven
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August 19, 2010 11:37 AM
Well, I hope not. One could give a cracker to a chihauhau, chipmunk, or pigeon and 2 seconds later it would be gone.
PZ might be tougher than a chipmunk but that isn't saying much.
Posted by: Acronym Jim
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August 19, 2010 1:05 PM
Johnlil#la224@54:
Your words, sir, bespeak a lie. One who carries the bloodline of the highland clans would never refer to the kilt as a skirt. You sir, are no True Scotsman!
Posted by: undularbore
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August 19, 2010 1:54 PM
PZ, I too would buy a Crackergate book.
I wonder if the folks/companies that make Crackers give tours...and do you get to sample them at the end of the tour. Like the flour mill we have here in Columbia, SC, you get a biscuit with butter at the end of the tour! :-D
Posted by: pineapplezippers
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August 19, 2010 11:42 PM
Sorry, PZ.
We're not *all* mad here. Just some/most of the Farg-dwellers.
(Please also don't judge us by the local "newspaper". Some of us have educations/the ability to reason.)
Want me to find him and beat him with a sockful of crackers? :-) I'm local! And I have Ritz!