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« Zombies are street legal in Minneapolis | Main | I'm doomed now »

More articles by PZ Myers can be found on Freethoughtblogs at the new Pharyngula!

That's not a heart! It's a flailing Engine of Destruction!

Posted on: August 23, 2010 2:04 PM, by PZ Myers

My day began well enough. I'd gotten up early, got some writing done, and was headed into the office to do some prep work for classes, which start this week. My phone rang just as I had my key in the office door — which was cutting it close. My office is an AT&T dead zone, and a few more seconds and I would have been in blissful obliviousness for the rest of the day. It was my doctor's assistant. I will paraphrase her words slightly.

"We just got the results of your tests from last week. Your heart is a shriveled black lump starved of charity, decency, charm, and kindness," she said, "a gristly godless clot of marginally functional fibers. You need to go back to Abbott for more tests, and the doctors want to crack your chest and marvel at you."

"So what else is new? My students are used to that and expect me to be lashing them with fear and pain starting Wednesday…and my black heart is an asset to this job," I said. "Maybe I can pop in for these tests this weekend. Any chest-cracking can wait for the end of the term and Christmas break, when I wouldn't be using my heart anyway."

"No," she said, "now."

And I waffled and weaseled and tried to argue with her that this could not be, I had a great deal of work to do right now, and I couldn't possibly just drop out at the start of the term, and besides, I felt fine. And I bickered, and she exasperatedly told me no way, and I bargained, and then she said, "Here. I'm putting the doctor on." And the doctor spoke with the voice of Doom and the terrifying tone of I-hold-your-life-in-my-hands-you-dope and she quoth (paraphrased somewhat): 

"YOU ARE GOING TO DIE SUDDENLY, ABRUPTLY, WITHOUT WARNING UNLESS WE FIX YOU RIGHT NOW. GO. NOW. DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME."

"Yes'm," I said.

And so I now find myself on the road to Minneapolis under the care of the TrophyWife™, who will have to be renamed AmbulanceDriver™ or perhaps MistressOfMercy™, for an appointment with knives and pain. This was not the day I woke up for. This was not my plan for the Fall of 2010, but then, reality does have a way of dicking up our comfortable expectations.

There may be an interruption in the blogging for a wee bit.

If I'm supposed to be traveling your way in the next month or so, there will probably be a change of plans. I'll be in touch with people next week when I know more about my course of suffering for the next little while.

Meanwhile, relax, chill, don't panic, and most importantly, don't waste your time with prayers. Ever.

I'll be back while convalescing, and will be even more heartfully cranky than ever.

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Comments

#1

Posted by: Swampfoot Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:11 PM

Here's hoping your treatment goes smoothly and without excitement, and that your hospital room will have wi-fi for when you feel like dropping us some writing!

#2

Posted by: Sven DiMilo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:12 PM

oh, my

Best of luck, man.

In the absence of any external energy source, it's amazing that hearts beat as often as they do.

#3

Posted by: nigelTheBold, Minister of Spankings Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:13 PM

PZ: best wishes. No prayers, but many sympathetic thoughts.

#4

Posted by: james.haight Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:15 PM

Aw, shit. Here's hoping you'll be okay, PZ.

#5

Posted by: Larry Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:15 PM

Take care of yourself first, PZ. Your loyal band of minions can fend for itself.

For a while...

Best wishes!

#6

Posted by: Dryodora Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:15 PM

Best wishes, Dude! Best wishes from up here in Vancouver, and look forward to a seeing you up and about soon. I will resist the urge to send octopus to the hospital :)

#7

Posted by: stevieinthecity#9dac9 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:16 PM

I hope you get the best care possible and pleasant painkillers. I've read this blog almost everyday for the past 10 years, I hope you get to stick around for another 20.

#8

Posted by: Steve LaBonne Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:16 PM

Good luck PZ, and best wishes for a speedy recovery. Sounds like we're talking about bypass surgery here? Looking on the bright side, I'm thankful (as I'm sure you are too) that your warning symptoms came apparently just in time.

#9

Posted by: Dwpeabody Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:16 PM

Good luck Mr PZ. May the power of the cephalopod be with you.

#10

Posted by: Manuel Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:17 PM

Best of luck, PZ. I hope that everything goes fine and your only bother is sexy nurses helping you undress.

#11

Posted by: skeptical_hippo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:17 PM

Damn. What lousy news. But it sure beats sudden, abrupt death.

Here's wishing you an uneventful surgery, excellent pain medication, and quick recovery.

#12

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/gfhg9nZ_1oJzRCtLKnGjfFZi9Cg0#2b1f4 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:18 PM

Oh no, they've discovered that your heart is two sizes too small!

I rarely comment but always read and wanted to briefly de-lurk in order to wish you well and tell you that your posts will be missed. Hurry back, and while I absolutely will not pray I can't promise not to sacrifice a few chickens.

#13

Posted by: ardip Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:18 PM

I hope all is well for you PZ and that you have a swift and complete recovery.

#14

Posted by: Kristjan Wager Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:19 PM

Not good news, but great that it was found out in time. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

#15

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawk8nuEGr2AboPw3B5JlVHLruh87cSf2gi4 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:20 PM

PZ, your hospital updates sound like mine: rife with hyperbole and black humor. I approve whole-heartedly (pun intended).

I too hope you have a positively boring, uneventful hospital stay, where everything goes right, with ample opportunity to write and blog as you see fit. We'll be thinking of you and wishing you well, in a completely godless fashion, not asking that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy. (™ Ambrose Bierce)

And big fat hugs and much affection for Trophy Wife as well for having to worry like this about her bearded beloved.

--Lauren Ipsum

#16

Posted by: Menyambal: Making sambal (it isn't dragon magic). Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:20 PM

Well, your heart seems to be in the right place.

Good luck and get well soon.

#17

Posted by: hyperdeath Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:21 PM

Best of luck.

Will you be getting some kind of Iron-Man style chest implant, capable of powering a robotic cephalopod suit?

#18

Posted by: Chuck Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:21 PM

Or you can skip the godless doctors and get some preacher to anoint you with holy oil. There have been a lot of advances in holy oil research over the last several thousand years.

Good luck! Here's hoping you've got some nice, intelligent, godless doctors to take care of you.

Chuck
http://www.irreligiosophy.com

#19

Posted by: sarahb Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:22 PM

Feel better soon PZ. The key to surviving the hospital is cartoon network and people bringing you food other than what the hospital serves.

#20

Posted by: I'll Pray For You Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:22 PM

I will pray for you.

Not.

#21

Posted by: smellyoldgit Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:23 PM

Pah! - just trying to steal the limelight from that bugger Hitchens?

#22

Posted by: cervantes Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:24 PM

I take it you are to undergo a revascularization procedure. You will find the nurses generally to be very nice, but surgeons are often pricks. Just sayin'.

#23

Posted by: Stushie Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:24 PM

In my belief system, I would say: "May God grant you the desire of your heart."

Get well completely, recover fully, and be back to your old obnoxious self soon...:)

#24

Posted by: Janice in Toronto Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:24 PM

What? No blogging??? Horrors! Oh well, we'll just have to get along.

I hope you're going to post photos of the surgery, at least...

Glad to hear you're getting taken care of.

Get better soon, eh?

#25

Posted by: eleusis Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:24 PM

Good luck, PZ.

#26

Posted by: KG Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:25 PM

Now if The Secret had a grain of truth in it, the combined wishes of the horde would surely make medical treatment entirely unnecessary. As it is, I wish you all the best medical staff and treatment, and a swift and complete recovery.

#27

Posted by: Public Hermit Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:25 PM

Get well soon PZ, eat plenty of bacon & babies while recuperating, and we'll see your cranky, bitchy ass soon.

#28

Posted by: JJ Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:25 PM

This is where education, training, and science come into play. No need for prayer. I do hope you keep in good spirits, and get rest and listen to your Doctors.

#29

Posted by: Left_Wing_Fox Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:25 PM

Best wishes here too. May your Flailing Engine of Destruction be once again directed at your enemies, rather than yourself.

#30

Posted by: Shin Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:26 PM

[Insert obligatory warm&fuzzy thought sentence here]

Get well soon! I get frightfully bored at work when you have to take time off of blogging.

#31

Posted by: Steve LaBonne Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:27 PM

...people bringing you food other than what the hospital serves.

Just make sure that any babies they bring are grilled, not fried in oil. Got to keep the diet heart-healthy.

#32

Posted by: Bostonian Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:27 PM

Get well, PZ. Best of luck to you and your doctors.

PS: Anyone who tells you that you're being punished for insulting the ineffable sneeze of the Great Green Arkelseizure is full of it.

#33

Posted by: andrew h Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:27 PM

o gosh! stay away from the light at the end of the tunnel, it's just the fading of the eigenlicht; there's nothing interesting there.

#34

Posted by: Thaddeus Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:27 PM

Take it from an anthro PhD who works with gender studies for a living, PZ: your writing will be waiting for you when you get back and you shouldn't try and play "tough, no-nonsense guy" with your heart.

I will not be praying for your speedy recovery, but I will be sacrificing a nice plate of penne-con-funghi to the Spaghetti Monster at a crossroads, at midnight.

Get well soon!

#35

Posted by: Dania Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:29 PM

I'll be back while convalescing, and will be even more heartfully cranky than ever.

I hope so! :)

Best of luck, PZ. Hope everything goes well.

#36

Posted by: hockeybobs Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:29 PM

I blame Bill Donohue.


Seriously, get well soon, PZ - we need our daily fix of godlessness! Well, *I* do, anyway.

#37

Posted by: LMR Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:29 PM

Best wishes, PZ.

--

My mother went for bypass surgery (in Erie, PA) a couple years ago. In recovery for the cardiology department they give the patients a pen and a pillow shaped like a heart (for people to sign). I didn't want to ask what the folks in urology were given.

#38

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:30 PM

Wow. Take a lesson from Hitchens' mistakes and rest for a while, listen to your doctors.

I'm sure they'll take good care of you and you'll be back on track soon enough.

We'll all be waiting for you!

Much love from one of your minions :P

#39

Posted by: cag Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:30 PM

From my own recent adventures. May your results parallel mine.

My ode to the nurses.

I blew a hole in my small bowel
And Doctor K did mend it.
They shipped me off to 312 South,
For to the next days spend it
With temperature, blood pressure and pulse in the beginning,
Suppositories in the end.
I can blame not
what came from the cooking pot
On the Nurses or the cleaners
For Crime of Chicken Soup (*)
And Shepherds Cry, the Nurses were not guilty.
Dessert was a misnomer,
The Off Pudding was unfit for Sue or Homer.
In my mind the food is indelibly etched
In my stomach, inedibly pooled.
The vegetables were cooked to perfection
And then another hour for my protection.
The job you do Mike Rowe would rue,
The suppositories really moved me.
Your thankless job is not thankless now
For you have my heartfelt thanks forever.


I left my heart in San Francisco and my liver in Kalamazoo, but both my blood and guts are in Pathology, room 2.


(*) The “chicken” soups were PETA certified that no chickens were harmed in their production.


All the best PZ.

#40

Posted by: dpi1 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:31 PM

Take care of yourself P. Z. and I hope you have a smooth recovery:)

#41

Posted by: Glen Davidson Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:32 PM

That's what you get for being a slack-assed evolved human being, instead of being a perfectly designed creature of God.

Now aren't you sorry that you went the evolution route instead?

(Good luck with the med care, btw)

Glen Davidson

#42

Posted by: Scott Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:32 PM

Hully chee, get well soon. Here's hoping for doctors and nurses dedicated to proper medicine and science...

#43

Posted by: otrame Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:32 PM

My dad had quadruple bypass 10 years ago after my ex (a cardiologist) told him, "It's a little shocking you haven't had a heart attack yet, but you haven't. However, you will within the next couple of weeks, guaranteed."

He's been going strong physically ever since (he does have some unrelated minor dementia issues) and he is a strong health 80.

Those evil scientists have invented ways to make blood pump even through godless hearts. It raineth upon the just and the unjust.

We'll be thinking about you.

#44

Posted by: bbgunn071679 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:32 PM

Please let us know if you make any hospital chaplain or some other proselytizer cry or otherwise moisten themselves.

#45

Posted by: Sal Bro Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:32 PM

You and your fam are in my thoughts. Dogspeed!

#46

Posted by: Xenithrys Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:32 PM

Jeez PZ! Take care of yourself. Maybe let some guest bloggers run things for a while. On the bright side, there's no better time in history to get heart trouble than right now; thanks to science they found it in time. Best wishes.

#47

Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM, CR Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:32 PM

They said, of PZ Myers, "why, the man has got no heart!
He's the bastard son of Satan, don't you know?"
Now it's off to Minneapolis, to crack his ribs apart
And determine if the situation's so.

He's a man who deals in evidence a man who deals in facts
Why, he's writing all about it in his book!
When the doctors said they didn't like the way his ticker acts,
He'd be first to tell them, "hey, let's take a look!"

If you'd like to say a prayer for him, just hang your head in shame,
That's a waste of time, complete and utter loss!
But to really make a difference (you can do it in his name)
I'll give blood, at the American Red Cross!


So, yeah, there's not much I can do directly for PZ, but this is as good an excuse as any to remind people that a single pint of blood makes more difference than a million prayers.

#48

Posted by: TCC Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:33 PM

Good luck, I hope you get well soon.

#49

Posted by: A. Nuran Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:33 PM

Good luck. Do what the doctors tell you to.
If prayers did any good you'd have mine whether you wanted them or not.

#50

Posted by: Bunkie2 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:33 PM

It's cheaper to skip all the modern medicine and have us all pray for you. It doesn't work, but it is cheaper.

I hope your ticker is repaired soon.

#51

Posted by: cefera Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:33 PM

PZ: I wish you good luck and a quick complete recovery.

All the best.

#52

Posted by: madeirapark Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:35 PM

Love ya, PZ.

Consider this another big smootch from the Great White North, Strong and Free. Sort of.

#53

Posted by: johnwhite Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:35 PM

Out of lurking mode to wish you well PZ. I read your blog with great pleasure. As a 72 year old with a couple of stents, a couple of bypasses, a new valve and a pacemaker, along with two teenage daughters, a horse, two ponies, 12 chickens, 4 rabbits, seven and a half cats, and a hard working wife, I fell I can say 'if it worked for me, it can work for any one'. Best wishes and a speedy recovery. john

#54

Posted by: The Pint Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:35 PM

Good luck, PZ. It sounds like you'll be in the care of some fantastic doctors. Get well soon!

#55

Posted by: sugarbeth Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:35 PM

Be well, PZ!

#56

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:36 PM

Good reminder Cuttlefish. My blood type is weird though, but they love it for plasma.

I keep meaning to donate.

#57

Posted by: badgersdaughter Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:36 PM

PZ, and Mary, and the rest of the family, my best wishes and sympathy are with you. Convalescence is rough. I hope everything goes as quickly and efficiently as possible and that your recovery is easy and that the surgery is successful.

We love you :)

#58

Posted by: Guy Incognito Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:36 PM

Being an atheist, I'm sure this is punishment from God. Were he a Christian though, its being caught just in time would be a miracle.

#59

Posted by: pccdrski.myopenid.com Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:36 PM

PZ,
Well, the Mayo Clinic is just down the road if they need to do that mollusc/sapiens melded implant.
Now, don't pull any R.P.McMurphy stuff there when the kindly Chaplain shows up for your pre-op 'visit'

#60

Posted by: ralphgentile3 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:36 PM

Fortuitous happenstance, PZ!

Would you allow Guest Blogging during the hiatus?

#61

Posted by: orogeny Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:37 PM

Best wishes for a speedy recovery from a loyal lurker. We'll burn a plate of Maccheroncelli at our personal FSM shrine tonight.

#62

Posted by: geoffmovies Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:39 PM

Not praying either, but marvelling what medical science can do and hoping for the best.

Take care P Zed.

#63

Posted by: Aegis Linnear Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:39 PM

Good luck, PZ.

Remember to check who's wearing a wristwatch before and after you go under!

#64

Posted by: carole Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:39 PM

Get well soon PZ,
with lots of good wishes.

#65

Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:39 PM

I'll be back while convalescing, and will be even more heartfully cranky than ever.
Don't worry, we'll hold you to that once you get back to blogging.
#66

Posted by: Mark Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:39 PM

Don't be offended by prayers, PZ. When a religious person says they're praying for you, it's just their way of saying they're thinking positively of you with hope.
Unless they're praying for your demise. Then it's thinking negatively of you with hope, and you should be extremely offended.
Anyway, I bet a big percentage of religious folk would be surprised if any prayer they uttered were visibly/audibly answered.

#67

Posted by: rnnelson Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:40 PM

Best wishes, Dr. Myers, for a smooth recovery. Science will save your ass but it can leave an unsightly scar.

#68

Posted by: Erulóra (formerly KOPD) Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:40 PM

I hate to use a cliche (wait, no I don't), but please get well soon.

#69

Posted by: Insightful Ape Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:41 PM

Terribly sorry for the bad news.
Hope you'll be back up and blogging soon.
Best wishes.

#70

Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:41 PM

If you need a transplant, I can get you a pretty good heart by four this afternoon. Or, you know, five Central Time.

I normally charge, but for you, it's gratis. Someday, I may ask a small favor.

Seriously, take it easy and I hope that none of what's to come is too gawdawful unpleasant.

#71

Posted by: Numad Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:42 PM

Get well soon.

I imagine making an offering to Asclepius would only be partially appropriate?

#72

Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:42 PM

Here's to steady hands

#73

Posted by: Anubis Bloodsin the third Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:42 PM

Best Wishes for a swift and full recovery.

#74

Posted by: Ben Goren Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:42 PM

My dad had a bypass a couple years ago. It’s nothing I would wish on anybody, but what he’s bought for the price has been worth it.

PZ, you’re in for some truly miserable times. I’m sorry; tough shit; that’s the way the cookie crumbles; etc.

But you’re also rolling the dice the same way I would, and I’ll bet you a suitable beverage that, this time next year, you’ll be content with the choice you just made.

I can’t think of anything else I might have to offer to help you through this, but please don’t hesitate to let me know if your imagination succeeds where mine fails.

Cheers,

b&

#75

Posted by: vancityskeptic.com Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:43 PM

I loathe cliche language. I hate sitting here trying to come up with an alternate phrase for "Best wishes" that doesn't sound like a catch-all phrase. Half the things I can think to say just sound like sorry filler for the void left vacant where the dreaded "I'll pray for you" would usually roam.

So I suppose I am left with "Best wishes" and all that jazz.. or perhaps just "Good luck", though most of us probably believe in luck about as much as we believe in God.

Stay away from any lights in tunnels, won't you?

Cheers~

#76

Posted by: Ordeneus Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:43 PM

Yikes, be well :)

#77

Posted by: PZ Myers Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:44 PM

I've given the MistressOfMercy™ the keys to the blog -- she'll take care of any essential maintenance. Maybe she'll get a photo of me lying abed drooling helplessly for everyone's entertainment, too.

#78

Posted by: Demonax Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:44 PM

Really good that they found this out -much better than the alternative! Trust you will soon be well and giving us all the pleasure you do, again, with your blog.

#79

Posted by: Cathal Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:44 PM


Get well soon PZ

#80

Posted by: InfraredEyes Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:44 PM

Good luck, PZ, and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

#81

Posted by: Geo Kaplan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:44 PM

May the FSM's Noodly Appendages guide the surgeon with nanometer precision.

Heal fast, Prof. Myers!

#82

Posted by: northstar Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:45 PM

..., no shit! We need you, so shake a leg and get better! ;))

#83

Posted by: ian.k.alexander Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:45 PM

Good health and a speedy convalescence!

#84

Posted by: Ivar Husa Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:46 PM

Screw "Best of Luck". Best of surgeons and nurses (don't forget those nurses).

#85

Posted by: MAJeff, OM Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:47 PM

Best wishes! Hoping everything turns out ok.

#86

Posted by: dali_70 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:47 PM

Best of luck to you!
May your recovery be speedy and your nurses hot. ;)

#87

Posted by: Randomfactor Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:47 PM

I didn't send you a dose of homeopathic remedy, PZ.

I hope you can stand the dosage in your weakened condition.

#88

Posted by: Upstate freethinker Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:47 PM

PZ, please accept my best wishes for a smooth surgery and speedy recovery.

#90

Posted by: yanklthelitvak Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:49 PM

Wishing you the best of care and a speedy recovery!

#91

Posted by: lose_the_woo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:49 PM

Get well soon PZ. Warm wishes to you and your loved ones.

#92

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/nLzNsvBzjcVWHqXNyEN1lcQmrB7cxEBb#3b6bf Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:50 PM

Glad you (eventually) stopped being stubborn and made the right decision. I hope it goes well and you're back with us soon.

All the best, ShaunOTD

#93

Posted by: Moira Manion Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:51 PM

I'm glad you believe in medical science.

Get well.

#94

Posted by: Flea Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:52 PM

Get well soon PZ.

#95

Posted by: --E Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:53 PM

Admit it, PZ--this is just a cover so you can get Doc Ock style arms added. Just like those movie stars who go to the hospital for "exhaustion" and come out with new noses.


May your surgery go well and speedily, and result in significantly improved health and many, many more productive years of life and curmudgeonry.

#96

Posted by: Lynna, OM Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:53 PM

Damnit! I knew something was wrong when there was no one posting on the Endless Thread, but I had no idea it was this bad.

Glory and gratitude to the Trophy Wife for taking you where you should have gone earlier. I love your black and bitter heart, long may it beat.

#97

Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:53 PM

Just in case, I bought a spell for you on Ebay. It's intended specifically to induce callipygia, but my cousin says I could probably use it to help your heart too. So poof!

Feeling better? Or at least more dorsally attractive?

#98

Posted by: Olga Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:53 PM

PZ, get well and come back soon. No prayers, but lots of thoughts and warm wishes.

#99

Posted by: dsmwiener Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:53 PM

Jeeze, what good is science? Except for giving us another 20-40 years of life, and making that life better. As someone who has done much to explain science to others, it is poetic that you get reap its rewards. So, live long and prosper!

#100

Posted by: Loreo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:54 PM

Get better, dude.

See if they can install a flamethrower so you can incinerate the foolish with your mind.

#101

Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:54 PM

Speedy recovery, PZ. If the unthinkable happens and you need a new heart, I know a cephalopodean poet whose anatomy dictates has three.

And what kind of weird blood does Ol'Greg have anyway? C neutral?

#102

Posted by: Erulóra (formerly KOPD) Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:55 PM

Cuttlefish,
I would donate blood if I could, but they don't let me. :-(

#103

Posted by: Only In October Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:56 PM

Get well soon. Wishing you all the best.

#104

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/73qzOgF6q9bnu8nPu8sj1wUhXTU6#483f4 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:56 PM

I'm just one of your regular readers, although I almost never comment. Wishing the best for you and your family from Connecticut.

#105

Posted by: Celtic_Evolution Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:56 PM

I have been taking a self-imposed, work necessitated hiatus from commenting, but I must break from that for the moment to wish you well, PZ... and a speedy recovery.

And to wish that someone could video the procedure, just to capture the look of shock when the surgeons discover your ink bladder.

Good tidings, master Myers... as you already know, you are in good hands and we shall see ye soon.

#106

Posted by: Brap Gronk Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:56 PM

FSMspeed, PZ. I hope they serve you some good crackers in the hospital.

#107

Posted by: gillt Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:57 PM

Actually, this procedure is exploratory. Only a small percentage of the population has been diagnosed with a god-shaped whole in their heart. We demand evidence of such a thing!

#108

Posted by: turbulentlobster Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:57 PM

Is best wishes fer a speedy and minimally painful recovery.

#109

Posted by: Ben Goren Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:57 PM

Wait a second — now I get it!

This is just a nefarious scheme by PZ to get away from it all long enough to finish The Book™. Why, you sly dog. I bet you even have some nookie scheduled with Ms. Trophy Wife.

(That’s a hint, by the way. If the doctor says you’ll be in recovery for two weeks, get him to write one month on the discharge papers, and tell the world it’ll be at least two months. Alter the numbers to suit, always rounding up.)

Cheers,

b&

#110

Posted by: Epikt Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 2:58 PM

One hundred percent certified secular best wishes for a successful treatment and rapid recovery, PZ.

#111

Posted by: chigau (◦_◦) Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:00 PM

best wishes

Do what the medical professionals tell you.

#112

Posted by: Teshi Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:00 PM

Best wishes and here's to you being back on your fingers soon :)

#113

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawkqQXrl7yEsdEmCGIJY6e4vK85szmL2lf8 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:00 PM

Has anyone looked in on Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, and Dan Dennett?

#114

Posted by: vanharris Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:00 PM

Get well soon, PZ. You've still got a lot of work to do - but take it easy until you're ready & you've got the doctor's okay.

#115

Posted by: triskelethecat Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:01 PM

Good luck, PZ. That's basically how my dad was told, 15 years ago, that he needed a triple-bypass. However, he's now 80 and has no plans to slow down, so I hope you do as well as he did.

Remember to cough, deep breathe, walk, and drink lots of fluids after surgery. Ask for your pain meds BEFORE you need them; they are much more effective if you are not in agony before you take them. (yes, I am a nurse, why do you ask?)

You and the Trophy Wife will be in my thoughts.

#116

Posted by: bart.mitchell Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:01 PM

Too bad you couldnt share a room with Christopher Hitchens. All the priests and nuns that roam the halls of hospitals would be absolutely terrified. Plus, you could vouch for one another than you never fell to your knees in prayer to save your life.

Speedy recovery Prof, enjoy the jello and bland food.

PS
If you get a chance, put up a 'charity in lieu of flowers' blog post. Use your misery to milk these greedy atheists of some good donations.

#117

Posted by: theshortearedowl Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:01 PM

Modern Science bless you.

#118

Posted by: ophelia.benson Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:01 PM

Yikes!

I

1. hope they FIX IT with dispatch and thoroughness.

2. hope it messes up all the work you have to do as little as can possibly be expected.

#119

Posted by: Tim Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:03 PM

Recover swiftly, live long and ... Well I know you millionaire professors all prosper.

#120

Posted by: Lynn Wilhelm Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:03 PM

Take care PZ. Here's hoping for a speedy recovery and that you are back in action shortly.

#121

Posted by: grovel Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:04 PM

Let us not forget the goat sacrifice

#122

Posted by: dkeane Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:05 PM

Lurker that has never commented. May your doctors and nurses be in the top 1%.

#123

Posted by: otrame Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:05 PM

Dear PZ's Doctors,
I know that virtually all your patients have people who love them and you are always meticulous in your care for them and their loved ones. That PZ has thousands of people from all over the world who love him and want him to have a great surgery and speedy recovery is simply an expansion of your usual situation

However, I think you should know that PZ has, for a number of years now, provided a small but highly intelligent percentage of the world with a way to vent by commenting on his blog. Without this relief valve I am concerned for the consequences for Life As We Know It. As most (though certainly not all) of his minion Horde are atheist, there is nothing whatsoever (because we have no morals)that will prevent us from running wild in the streets without his not-so-benevolent, yet-firm control.

In other words, we want our Tentacled Overlord back or there will be Trouble.

But no pressure.

#124

Posted by: bonny420 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:05 PM

Been lurking too long, you're the best PZ.

#125

Posted by: Katharine Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:05 PM

Ooh! Blood clots!

Seriously, though, please pull through, the world will be a little less sane if you don't.

#126

Posted by: Janine, The Little Top Of Venom, OM Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:06 PM

Yet an other member of the horde adding to the echo chamber. Good luck with your treatments and may you get through the recovery without getting excessively cranky.

Have you thought about having some of the regulars running the blog while you are out of commotion? It worked well enough the last time you stepped away from the blog. Just thinking of all of the people here who need their daily dose of fresh meat.

#127

Posted by: NewEnglandBob Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:06 PM

What we can do is thank modern medicine and science which enabled the tests which detected something that gives PZ a chance of getting whatever-is-wrong corrected.

I have been in a similar situation twice (heart attack and cardiac arrest) and I appreciate medicine and science for being there to keep me alive.

Lets hope PZ is at least as fortunate.

#128

Posted by: rippingrich Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:07 PM

Go for the new bionic heart, It has a chip in it to adjust levels of assholery. Some models come with super powers.

And may the doctors wash their hands before surgery.

#129

Posted by: SteveV, Death's Pissant Haberdasher Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:07 PM

Best wishes PZ.
Just read your piece to Miss M and she used it as an excuse to nag me about exercise (again)

Get well - that's an order, not a request

#130

Posted by: davej Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:07 PM

Well, you might have a stent in your future.

#131

Posted by: Tzi Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:07 PM

Three cheers for modern medicine fixin' you up (get on it, docs).

I hope your recovery is speedy and comfortable and not just cos I'll miss your posts.

#132

Posted by: Vicki, Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:07 PM

You will almost certainly be tempted to go back to work at least as early as the doctor says is reasonable, because being sick is boring and because there's a lot to do.

Your doctor is not a slacker. They know a thing or two about recovery times. Healing after surgery is work. It's boring work, if you're lucky, and much of it is going on at levels you're not conscious of, but it's work, and it takes energy.

Get well soon, and be gentle with yourself.

#133

Posted by: Left_Wing_Fox Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:07 PM

Let us not forget the goat sacrifice

No that would be irrational and superstitious.

Unless there's curry involved, in which case, scrifice away. :)

#134

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawklQCMOUYkXvJ3xvNRf3qfdsk3ifWI6JPM Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:07 PM

Can't you blog from hospital? ;)

Seriously, best of luck.

#135

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:07 PM

Best of luck to our Tentacled Overlord!

I hope everything goes well.

#136

Posted by: Katharine Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:08 PM

Anyone want to organize a Send PZ Stuff drive?

#137

Posted by: Roestigraben Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:08 PM

Best wishes, and take your time for your recovery!

#138

Posted by: dmorrison Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:08 PM

You'll have to forgive my rampantly inappropriate curiosity (I blame being raised by two practicing doctors :P), but what exactly are you in for?

If it's for something "common", as in "we do this all the time", then the worst you're likely in for is feeling like crap after waking up after the anesthetic. Unless of course you have an awesome, modern anesthesiologist that can have you awake and comfortable pretty much after they sew you up. But those docs are rare.

(I bet some of you can guess the specialty of one of my folks now!)

#139

Posted by: Tulse Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:08 PM

Get well soon, PZ!

#140

Posted by: Zeno Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:09 PM

I find it seriously irritating when people younger than me have significant health problems. How can I persuade myself that the boundary of youth keeps getting pushed back if gangling adolescents like PZ insist on coming down with grown-up ailments? Damn!

(Yeah, it's all about me! [Get better quick, PZ. Damn!])

#141

Posted by: JB Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:09 PM

Good luck. Not for the treatment for which I am sure you have the most excellent doctors and medicines. That will go very well. But I wish you an enjoyable stay in hospital, plenty of entertainment during recuperation and contentment with the new lifestyle 'they' will be persuading you to adopt.

#142

Posted by: somewhereingreece Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:09 PM

If you are having a stent, or a pacemaker or a cardioconversion you will be back on your feet very quickly. Bypass, you will have to wait a bit longer.

I wish you a very speedy recovery and Mrs Myers: take the time to rest and eat. It is very common for patients to do swimmingly and their carers collapsing of fatigue.

#143

Posted by: AtlantaHeathen Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:10 PM

You have all my hopes for a quick and complete recovery! Do what those nice doctors and nurses tell you to do!!

#144

Posted by: windy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:10 PM

Wow, hope all goes well with the rewiring of the black lump!

#145

Posted by: dfarmer1584 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:10 PM

More people than you can count care about you. Most of us who care about you are people who you do not know and will probably never know. And that's really pretty cool.

Of course, this will not be a factor at all in your current medical condition--only good medical pros matter in that respect. But the fact that so many people care does matter in the story of you.

You've done well. You've reached people. You've mattered.

We care. Get well PZ.

#146

Posted by: Hank Fox Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:10 PM

Dammit PZ, I've gotten ATTACHED to you. Don't you DARE do anything less than make a full recovery.

(Best wishes, buddy. On the plus side, you'll soon be able to write with complete authority about the "miracles" of modern medicine.)

#147

Posted by: Jonathan Figdor Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:11 PM

Feel better, PZ, from your friends at the Humanist Chaplaincy at Harvard. We hope you'll be back up and blogging in no time!

#148

Posted by: puzzledponderer Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:11 PM

I wish you the best PZ, and please listen to your doctor. Good surgery and a speedy recovery - and it sounds like your doc knows how to handle things, so no worries! :D

#149

Posted by: F Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:12 PM

Well, PZ, I hope it isn't too knifey and painful. Here's to a speedy post-op recovery and no crappy hospital infections for you.

I'm just glad you didn't have to come to this via being found lying in a driveway or something. I've seen too much of that in my little world, an in my own home. Better to find out though your mildly annoying pain experience and some tests.

Best wishes to the MistressOfMercy™ as well, who will have to put up with any frustration you have during any enforced bed rest, which I hope is mercifully short.

#150

Posted by: Ben Goren Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:15 PM

To test the theory that prayer can’t hurt, I just explained your situation to my resident feline deity and asked him to help you.

His response? He rolled on his back, spread his rear legs, covered his eyes with his forelegs, and demanded a belly rub. Take that for what it means, but he did start purring as soon as I acquiesced to his demands, so you might not be totally fucked.

Sorry. I tried. I fully accept the blame…not that that’ll do anything to alleviate your suffering. I guess I know better for next time, at least.

Cheers,

b&

#151

Posted by: 朴競花/박경화 (Gyeong Hwa) Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:15 PM

PZ I hope things turn out well. No not well. I hope things turn out fantastic.

:)

#152

Posted by: scottfmessinger Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:16 PM

Despite the seriousness of the situation, I found myself giggling uncontrollably (well not really, but close) at your post (especially the "voice of Doom" part).

Good luck to you sir. We need your humor in our lives.

#153

Posted by: JHJEFFERY Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:16 PM

PIGEON BLOOD! GIVE THE MAN PIGEON BLOOD!

oh, wait, that's for leprosy.

Never mind.

#154

Posted by: Louis Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:16 PM

The very best of wishes PZ. Here's hoping you have a speedy recovery and a new sniny healthy heart post painful knives and stuff.

Your UK fan's/reader's thoughts are with you.

Louis

#155

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnxfnEuPaHGLGqGpKo5Hq5kS53KE4UZhD8 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:16 PM

"and I cringe at the thought of a circumcised heart."--PZ Meyers. Best wishes in keeping the ticker uncircumcised PZ, hoping it is a simple fix.

#156

Posted by: raven Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:17 PM

Ouch!!! Hope things go well and you recover soon.

We'll all be suffering (from Pharyngula withdrawal) along with you.

#157

Posted by: Paula Kirby Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:17 PM

Oh no, PZ, that's not good. Make sure you tell that doctor of yours that unless she gives you the very best care possible and gets your heart as good as new again, she'll have all of us evil atheists to deal with.

I hope the treatment isn't too grim and that you're back on your feet and giving your students hell again very very soon.

#158

Posted by: Gregory Greenwood Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:17 PM

All the best, PZ. You do have medical science on your side, with all the wonderful things it can do these days, so I do not think you have too much to worry about.

I have no doubt you will be up and telling the homeopaths where they can stick their Magic Potion of Cardiac Healing +5 in no time...

#159

Posted by: reason be Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:17 PM

Best of luck to you and may the greatest doctors and nurses in the world have you under their care. Speedy recovery for the most selfish of purposes: we need you.

#160

Posted by: theflyingtrilobite Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:17 PM

Here's hoping the Engine of Destruction stops flailing and continues chugging and thrumming mightily.

My hopes for your swift recovery, PZ.

#161

Posted by: Dahan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:18 PM

Best wishes to you and peace to you and your family as you go through this.

I'll be checking back daily, as always but will (grudgingly) cut you some slack if you aren't as prolific as usual. : )

#162

Posted by: cathy.willey Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:18 PM

Best wishes for an uneventful procedure and a speedy recovery.

#163

Posted by: Tara C. Smith Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:21 PM

Best wishes to you and your family, PZ. Hope everything goes smoothly.

#164

Posted by: TGAP Dad Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:21 PM

I wanted to suggest guest blogger(s) during your convalescence, but I see two commenters have already beaten me to it. Let me chip in my two cents' worth to echo that suggestion. (Orac? Dr. Isis? The Trophy Wife?&trade All of the above? Other ideas? (Anyone?...anyone?...Beuller?) What say you, PZ? Pharyngula withrawal, from what I've heard, isn't pretty.

#165

Posted by: beigeman Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:21 PM

Oh no! do get well soon. Your blog is fantastic, and I'm not sure how I'd get through the day without checking it obsessively. I wish you a speedy recovery :)

#166

Posted by: murgadroid Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:21 PM

Here's to the nurse giving you a sponge bath being cute and of the gender of your choice!

#167

Posted by: Randomfactor Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:21 PM

Can't donate blood for another couple of weeks yet. Any other bodily fluids you could use?

#168

Posted by: UberAlles Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:23 PM

Good luck, good recovery & keep on rockin' in the free world.

#169

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/yNep8M4Cq8BT5sI0IHEkqLWUcMwkVEE6lq4-#e0e1c Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:24 PM

All the best PZ. Here's wishing you a speedy recovery.

Occam's Machete

#170

Posted by: James Barbee Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:24 PM

Wishing you the best. Your blog is the highlight of my day.

#171

Posted by: feralboy12 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:26 PM

Perhaps you could continue to blog during surgery using some sort of facilitated communication.
Seriously, get well. Dammit, that's an order.

#172

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawl3TpOVyxxwCT5cVU3M80c_cpxoMBZmiOQ Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:26 PM

See, this is exactly why prayer was invented in the first place: I'd like to do something that really helps, but I simply can't. But if I had convinced myself that asking an invisible sky-fairy to help you actually does some good, I'd get the feeling that I've done something productive after all.

#173

Posted by: lurker_above Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:26 PM

Best wishes for a quick recovery, PZ. Be well.

#174

Posted by: iHunger Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:27 PM

No intention to pray for you, but hopefully you won't mind if we prey for you...[/groan]

#175

Posted by: thette Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:28 PM

I wish you good luck, skilled surgeons, observant nurses, good hospital hygiene, no side effects and a swift recovery.

#176

Posted by: Dark Matter Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:28 PM

Sciencespeed you to a quick and healthful recovery....

#177

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:29 PM

You're not gonna liveblog your bypass?!

Slacker!

Do you want us to chip in to pay for your substitute in Morris? And or here on the blog?

#178

Posted by: mrgenius Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:29 PM

sorry to hear of your bad results, pz. best wishes to you and family. be sure to listen to your doctor!

#179

Posted by: bcoppola Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:29 PM

#117 FTW!

Hey, maybe you'll get the same deal Cheney got and no longer have a pulse. That'll give the godbotherers something else to hyperventilate about. "He's not even HUUUMAAANNN!"

OTOH, sorry to suggest any equivalence to Cheney.

Pulse or not, I second all the well expressed best wishes for you and the TW/MoM.

#180

Posted by: John Pieret Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:29 PM

As someone who went through something similar not too long ago, please accept my best (secular) wishes. I hope yours turns out to involve as little debilitation as mine did.

#181

Posted by: Cliff Hendroval Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:30 PM

Well, the good thing is, according to your previous blog post, if everything goes wrong you can legally be re-animated.

But seriously, here's wishing you the best of care and a speedy recovery.

#182

Posted by: mainsail Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:31 PM

Good grief; best wishes for you and your family! Speedy return to health and all!

#183

Posted by: jrunderhay Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:31 PM

As with everyone else, I wish you great experience in hospital and a speedy.

#184

Posted by: Et in Arcadia Ego Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:32 PM

σιδερένιος PZ ! and dont go into the light ....

#185

Posted by: Sven DiMilo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:32 PM

this is probably all just a desperate trick to try to extend the sabbatical by any means necessary

good luck

#186

Posted by: R2 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:33 PM

Hope you get well soon!

I was looking forward to your visit to Mexico City! Health is unfortunately more important.

Remember, people, no prayer! People who are prayed for by strangers die more. There's a study on it! I even think it was on cardiology patients.

#187

Posted by: pierce.presley Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:34 PM

I wouldn't pray for you in any case, not believing in such, but I will be hoping like hell you make it through. The world would be somewhat less fun without a P.Z. to read.

#188

Posted by: AmyD Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:34 PM

What a bummer, all those tests and waiting rooms and hospital rooms are such a bore! I hope they fix you up quick and let you get back to what you do best real soon. Take care! xoxoxo

btw aren't you just returning from sabbatical? Did you actually party so hard you burned out a heart? You stud muffin!

#189

Posted by: abrown67 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:35 PM

I definitely won't be praying for you and based on your writings I doubt you believe in good luck, but I do for purely selfish reasons hope that you get better.

#190

Posted by: percyprune Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:36 PM

Get well, old chum.

I shall pray for a certain pasta deity to touch you with his noodly appendage!

#191

Posted by: Britomart Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:36 PM

You did good. You had a problem, you saw a doctor. Too many men don't, I lost my brother that way. I nearly lost me that way. I didn't feel all that bad really, but my daughter realized I was in trouble and got me to good medical help.

Thats the key, good medical help.

I hope they let you on line in your hosptial, they didn't in mine and 3 weeks without an internet fix was worse than anything else I had to deal with!

We will be hoping for new news, good news, interesting news, fun news, as soon as you are up and able.

Oh, old news! I nearly forgot, a ghost was mentioned on another thread, http://atechworld.com/files/BIBLE/Evolution-Creation_Debate.7z Alan Clarkes web page is still broken !


Keep up the good stuff!

Thank you kindly

Britomart

#192

Posted by: Bobber Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:37 PM

Hoping for the best possible outcome for you, PZ - and glad to know that you aren't too stubborn to listen to the doctors!

Please keep your ticker healthy. If it puts up resistance, kick its ass. (Do hearts have asses? Whatever, you know what I mean.)

#193

Posted by: CaptTu Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:37 PM

Here's to a full and speedy recovery! Take care sir.

#194

Posted by: StThomas Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:37 PM

I have enjoyed your blog very much for the last two years, and will miss it if you go on hiatus. Look after yourself first though, and return to blogging only when you're completely ready.
I hope everything goes well for you

#195

Posted by: Gaebolga Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:37 PM

May His Noodly Appendage be upon thee (even if it did evolved from some sort of flightless linguini).

Best of care to you, and other mangled platitudes.

#196

Posted by: opposablethumbstoo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:38 PM

Here's hoping you and your godless black heart are back with us soon, firing on all cylinders (or whatever is bionically appropriate). I wish you and yours all the very best - {{{and virtual cups of tea, as you relax and recover}}}

#197

Posted by: vksperr Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:38 PM

May your doctors be as nimble as a squid's tentacles during mating season.

Wait, that's dumb, not even funny...whatever.

Best wishes and speedy recovery from the rural middle of New York State.

#198

Posted by: Chgo_Liz Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:38 PM

Thank heavens (hah!) for the medical researchers who have spent decades developing new and better ways to bring hearts back to health. As others have noted, in most cases heart surgery these days is commonly done and has a high rate of success. This upcoming procedure will be a pain and a bore, but it will do the job.

Get as much sleep as you can. It's a wonderful healer.

We'll be fine. Your students will be fine. Your family will be fine. Concentrate on getting better.

#199

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:38 PM

Your heart is a shriveled black lump starved of charity, decency, charm, and kindness," she said, "a gristly godless clot of marginally functional fibers.

Change that to a gristly godless clot of fully functional fibers.

#200

Posted by: Cerberus, unnatural product of en-OMnomnom-ification Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:38 PM

Oh no.

Well, take care of yourself and hopefully you'll get better sooner rather than later.

#201

Posted by: BlueEyedVideot Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:39 PM

P.Z. -- sorry to hear of your pump problems. Thankfully, medical science has provided us with pro-active options, so be sure you get a second opinion (and possibly a third!) and then have a go.

My father-in-law recently (at 72 years of age) had his second bypass (his first over 35 years ago) and if he's any judge, you'll be pleasantly surprised at the amount of energy you'll have upon your recovery! His words of wisdom: your respiratory therapist is NOT the enemy--even though you may despise them with a vigor usually reserved for all but the very highest of passers of parochial pestilence.

Just remember, P.Z., you're an old friend to thousands of us. We tune in daily to Pharyngula because you're "our guy." Each and every one of us will be pulling for you because to us, a day just isn't a day without dropping in on you for a bit of sanity in our mad lives. We care.

Get well soon!

#202

Posted by: Adamvs Maximvs Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:39 PM

We must offer up a cock to Asclepius!

After all it worked for Socra..... oh wait, THAT'S how that ended?!?

How about you just get better soon with the aid of a competent medical staff. After all, if you go, I have to get my evil baby-eating heathen fix somewhere else. And I'm just not ready to make that kind of change in my life :(

Good luck with thoracic invasion!

#203

Posted by: Fred The Hun Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:39 PM

May you have a speedy recovery, PZ.

And get yourself a damn bicycle when you recover...and make sure you ride it!

#204

Posted by: irenedelse Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:39 PM

Certainly not praying, but now, my heart is getting a bit tight in sympathy. Take care!

#205

Posted by: toomanytribbles Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:40 PM

good luck, pz.

#206

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawmbFB7IfswmA3SjNNUFTL6ZLvAyo-87xnQ Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:40 PM

Good luck, PZ. I hope to be able to stalk you again just like in Denver and Grand Rapids.

#207

Posted by: jan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:42 PM

Shit, best wishes from the godless low countries.

#208

Posted by: Brig Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:42 PM

Take care, Doc. We're all looking forward to good news about you a resumption of normal postings.

All the best.

#209

Posted by: ctenotrish Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:42 PM

No prayers, no problem. But I shall find a venue in which to eat calamari, drink a nice, and heart-healthy glass of red, and say a private toast to you and She Who Drives. Get better soon, we already miss you!

#210

Posted by: coffeeandsci Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:42 PM

I wouldn't like a PZombie and I think the TrophyWife™ would be disappointed if you didn't managed to make your doctor speak with the voice of Joy: One more fixed, yeah!

So, take care of yourself buddy. May I call you buddy? I feel like this is the appropriate thing to do.
All the best.

#211

Posted by: ladyh42 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:42 PM

Best wishes to you from Vancouver. We are glad to have recently met you and hope that other Pharyngulites the world over will get the chance for many years to come.

Alas Cuttlefish, I cannot donate as I have not even enough iron in my blood for me let alone anyone else :(

#212

Posted by: Left Handed Atheist Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:42 PM

PZ, I wish you well with all my heart, and I don't need to tell you how precious this one life we get is. Keep up the good fight, and I surely will offer you no prayers.

I've been offered prayers myself of late and have politely accepted them as well intentioned, if meaningless. Three weeks ago this afternoon I learned that my 33 year old son had suddenly passed away in his apartment several states away, and we still don't even know the cause of death. It just doesn't get much worse than that, folks. Love each other and make the most of every single day....

#213

Posted by: The_Evelyonian Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:43 PM

Best wishes, PZ

Get well soon!

#214

Posted by: carlbuell Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:43 PM

It's remarkable to think that for all but the last few "moments" of human history, you'd have gone about your daily business unsuspecting and we would have almost certainly lost you. No prayers, just a thank you and acknowledgment to all the scientists, researchers, doctors, and nurses that have made OPENING UP YOUR CHEST a common and relatively safe procedure. Wishing you a fast recovery PZ.

#215

Posted by: seanjreynolds Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:44 PM

PZ, hold on, they're close to building you an robot body to transfer your consciousness into! It's only *looks at watch* five years away!

#216

Posted by: dickens Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:44 PM

PZ, you may be godless, but you have plenty of heart. You'll be Pharyngulating sooner than you think. But first, get yourself all better.

We need you bashing all those ... well all those that truly need bashing.

#217

Posted by: ladyh42 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:44 PM

σιδερένιος PZ ! and dont go into the light ....

it's the other train!

#218

Posted by: erikthebassist Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:44 PM

Pat Robertson thanking god for striking down Hitchens and Myers in the same month in 4, 3, 2, 1....

Best of luck PZ, science saved my ass last year with a stent instead of cracking me open, hopefully it's nothing more serious for you than a brief stay with a sore groin.

#219

Posted by: procrastinator.myopenid.com Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:46 PM

I'm glad to hear that your doctor was able to give you the good news with authority. "Get your ass to the hospital now! We can fix this."
Oh, and don't be thinking of dawdling there too long just because you are being waited on hand and foot and feasting on sumptuous sustenance. There is a book to be finished.
Best wishes.

#220

Posted by: conelrad Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:46 PM

No praying. Just another person you will
never meet who checks out your blog um,
religiously every morning instead
of working. May your recovery be quick &
as pain-free as possible.

#221

Posted by: lumbercartel Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:48 PM

Best wishes.

They won't change anything except, maybe, how you feel about feeling shitty. Which might not be too bad a thing, come to consider.

#222

Posted by: Rik G Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:48 PM

Best of luck, man! Sounds like you've got good medical care, and family and friends to help out, so hopefully this will prove to be a bottleneck, or a dramatic pause in a long life. Rest up, listen to your doctor, and pace yourself for the long haul! Lookin' forward to seeing you up and at 'em whenever you're ready. Meanwhile, a guest blogger isn't a bad idea. How about a "best of" from previous posts? Take care and be well.

#223

Posted by: One Furious Llama Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:48 PM

Dammit PZ, if something happens to you before I get the chance to meet you I'm going to be VERY upset. And you won't like me when I'm upset.

#224

Posted by: Left Handed Atheist Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:49 PM

So, just this morning I sent the following to PZ, originally posted on the American Atheists No God Blog:

"This may not be the appropriate spot but my hometown is in a Ten Commandments on the town square debate and the local paper has a poll. I thought maybe some of the horde might help me swing the vote. Thanks all in advance.
http://www.dailyrepublicannews.com/

Also, if anyone knows a good place to repost this, PLEASE do so."

I'm sure we can take care of this poll on our own, right?

#225

Posted by: Stephen Wells Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:49 PM

PZ, we all know you're bluffing, and this is merely the first stage in your cyborg transformation :)

Get well soon, and let that plasma cannon bed in well before toasting any puppies.

#226

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawmVT1LBhwmO9ej9LNg7a5e9d-AVJ8ezfmE Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:49 PM

Couldn't you just hold on another 10 years until Kurzweil-style uploading is available, and then ... um.

Happy monkey, PZ!

#227

Posted by: dannywalk Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:50 PM

PZ,

I don't often comment here, but I've been lurking for close to 4 years.

Without any invocation of the supernatural, I wish you a speedy recovery and hope to see you putting the fear of Cthulhu into Christians and woo-woo merchants for many years to come.

Regards,

Danny

#228

Posted by: ritchie.annand Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:50 PM

I'll volunteer to man one of the flanking guns in the submarine that they are going to be shrinking to take care of this. Pew! Pew pew pew!

In the event I have dropped into one of the more boring universes without shrink rays, then I will merely wish you a speedy recovery.

#229

Posted by: iceclimbr Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:50 PM

Speedy recovery PZ! I'll miss your daily musings!

#230

Posted by: rturpin Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:50 PM

Best wishes, PZ. I look forward to your return to writing, with not one scintilla less of piss and vinegar than before.

#231

Posted by: daveau Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:51 PM

Hope all goes well, PZ. There's quite a bit that can be done to make your heart nearly as good as new, and allow you to lead a completely normal life. Well, normal for you, anyway. Curious as to specific diagnosis. Hang in there TW.

#232

Posted by: Quatguy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:51 PM

Good luck PZ, listen to your doctors and get well soon. We need you around to spearhead our fight against the forces of evil, anti-science and general stupidity.

#233

Posted by: Mu Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:51 PM

I figured I send a little prayer anyway, if only for you to come back and tell me how much of a waste of time that was. Good luck and speedy recovery.

#234

Posted by: Marco Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:52 PM

Oh shit...J.F. Christ...what a rotten deal this is.

Why doesn't this kind of things happen to those who amply deserve it? (like Condoleezza Rice, or Donald Rumsfeld, or similar assholes of mass destruction.) Because, great as that would be, there's no such thing as "cosmic justice", that's why -- as we all know well.

Well, thank dog that we have science and that it will allow you to get well again. If it were up to the followers of the man-in-the-sky, we'd still be using witchcraft, and none of us would have a hope in heck.

Be well soon, and take it easy.

#235

Posted by: Evomonkey Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:53 PM

Dman! I'm sorry to hear tha, PZ. I hope everything goes well and you have a speedy recovery.

Can I have your bacon? Unfortunately, it sounds like the doctors won't allow it for awhile. I hope they will let you still have the occasional therapeutic ale.

All the best!!!

#236

Posted by: forksmuggler Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:53 PM

Sciencespeed, PZ!

#237

Posted by: JamesR Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:53 PM

I hope you have some good Drs. working on you. While you're in the hospital keep your eyes open for the machine that goes "ding". I've heard its quite impressive.

#238

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:53 PM

PZ has all the luck. He gets his chest cracked. I just had to forgo a sailboat race.

#239

Posted by: Rey Fox, Bird Caller Guy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:54 PM

Get well, get well soon, we want you to get well!

#240

Posted by: Amenhotepstein Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:57 PM

JamesR @ 237

I believe the machine actually goes "ping!" You really need to worry if it starts "ding"ing.

Take care PZ - get better soon!

#241

Posted by: J-Dog Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:58 PM

I promise a rusty nail through a cracker if things go well!

From Wahoo NB, here are The Top Ten Other Thoughts That Might Amuse You:

10. An altar boy will make Bill Donahue cry.

9. Glenn Beck will admit he is a total fraud, and just in it for the money.

8. Sarah Palin will claim she is NOT a total fraud, but nobody will belive her, and even FAUX Noise does not cover her announcement.

7. Pope Benedict will announce that all churches are a total fraud and they have just been in it for the money.

6. Casey Luskin will shave his eyebrow(s)for charity.

5. Bill Dembski will announce he is a total fraud, and he has just been backing ID because of the cool sweaters.

4. The operation will give you Super Powers... well even MORE Super Plowers!

3. Bill Buckingham, from Dover PA will finally admit that he is just another insane lyer for Jesus.

2. Sister May Mother Of Pain will apologize for trying to cast out the evil spirit from misbehaving kids in her 6th grade class. (Oh wait - that's one from MY wishlist!)!)

1. Prsident Obama will name you as the New Blog Czar, and you will be able to stop all cranks from spamming you and WRITING IN ALL CAPS!!

So, get better soon, so all these things can happen.

#242

Posted by: Perspexo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:58 PM

Get better soon squidly one!

#243

Posted by: Jerry Coyne Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:59 PM

Bad news, but you're a tough old cuss and I'm sure you'll be fine. We'll fend off the faithful until you're back!

#244

Posted by: I'll Pray For You Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:59 PM

Pat Robertson thanking god for striking down Hitchens and Myers in the same month in 4, 3, 2, 1....

The cracker finally gets its revenge...

#245

Posted by: joyful.valley Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 3:59 PM

May your doctors be bright, skillful, and properly caffeinated.

Best wishes!

#246

Posted by: rcneufeld Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:01 PM

Best of, um, luck/wishes? No, that's the same as prayer.

Upon calculation, may the statistical odds prove to be in your favour.

Cheers.

#247

Posted by: meh1963 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:01 PM

PZ, get well soon!

All wishes, without numinous overtones, that you feel better soon!

#248

Posted by: Matthew G Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:02 PM

Take care PZ, weĺl all be here waiting for you, don rush it. Thanks TrophyWife, make sure he does what heś told.
To everyone else out there, de-lurk and let PZ know how many people are wishing him the best

#249

Posted by: Mrs Tilton Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:03 PM

Bypass, eh? My father-in-law (significantly your senior) had one of those. He still skis. Bill Clinton had one of those. He still gets to sit next to Jagger to watch the World Cup.

I know you don't want prayers. But the Spirit moves me. I pray that the cold-fusion powered RoboPump they implant in your chest to replace your heart works like a charm and, in particular, does not mysteriously make you shoot radioactive Power Beams out your eyes. Or, if it does, I pray that you only use your powers for good, or against annoying people. I pray that they let you take your old heart home in a jar. I pray that you can then use it successfully to demonstrate Galvani's experiment to your students. And I pray that, when you do, the heart does not then take on some hellish undead life of its own, leaping out of its jar and destroying all in its path, driven by its unholy and unquenchable hunger for BRAAAAAIIINSSS.

Or, y'know, just wishing you a fast and complete recovery, and one as free of pain and inconvenience as is possible under current medical technology, will do as nicely.

#250

Posted by: Greta Christina Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:03 PM

Am sending the secular humanist equivalent of healing white light. Otherwise known as my thoughts and best wishes for a full and speedy recovery. The world is a better place with you in it, and at full, cranky, cracker-bashing strength.

#251

Posted by: Guy Incognito Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:03 PM

Bring on the "Paul is dead" hoaxes!

#252

Posted by: JeffreyD Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:03 PM

Planning to liveblog the procedure?

Good luck, of course.

#253

Posted by: christophe-thill.myopenid.com Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:04 PM

Best wishes PZ ! Medical science will take care of you (as it actually does with lots of people). Get this ol'heart of yours fixed !

#254

Posted by: RamziD Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:04 PM

Best wishes for a fast and painless recovery! These types of surgeries are becoming routine now in medicine, so I'm sure you will receive the proper care and be back to blogging godlessly in no time!

#255

Posted by: azumahazuki Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:05 PM

Yet another well-wisher hoping your surgery is successful, your recovery swift, and you yourself easy on your body (that last one's important!).

Seriously, take it slow...until you ascend to squid-hood one heart is all you get. I'd much rather go without your blog for 3 months then for eternity.

#256

Posted by: RamziD Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:06 PM

Your blog is a positive force in the world, PZ, and I just want to say thank you for all you do.

#257

Posted by: summitwulf Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:06 PM

Good luck, and best wishes for a speedy and complete recovery! =)

#258

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:07 PM

Bring on the "Paul is dead" hoaxes!
Iono. Perhaps we can finally bury that Meyers guy.
#259

Posted by: elizbdewey Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:07 PM

Take care, sir. Best wishes for a speedy recovery, and kind thoughts to your family.

#260

Posted by: Frank b Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:08 PM

I wish you the best of luck PZ. I had an echo stress test recently, and it was very nice to have a normal result. I hope you get good news too.

#261

Posted by: Beadknitter Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:09 PM

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear this. I wish you all the best in your surgery and recovery Dr. Meyers. Get some rest. Don't overdue it just to provide us with blog fodder. We can live without for awhile.

#262

Posted by: phurley Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:09 PM

Best wishes no prayers. Get better soon and share the better drugs with your family, I am sure they are worried as well.

#263

Posted by: thoughtspiral Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:09 PM

Best wishes, PZ, to you and your family both. Take care of yourself.

#264

Posted by: BillMetrey Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:10 PM

Best wishes for a speedy recovery. Are you okay with visitors?

#265

Posted by: rkzenrage Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:11 PM

Toasting your health with my first bacon martini of the day!

#266

Posted by: BillMetrey Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:13 PM

I should have told you (I think that I did at some point) that I had triple bypass surgery under much the same circumstances. That really screwed up my weekend, and it happened on Friday, February 13th! Go figure.

#267

Posted by: Beadknitter Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:13 PM

Oh phooey! I thought I deleted that extra e. Sorry about that Dr. Myers. Get well soon.

#268

Posted by: GrumpyPathDoc Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:15 PM

Best wishes on a speedy recovery.

#269

Posted by: Denis Castaing Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:17 PM

Best Wishes PZ I read you everyday. You'll be up & going again soon.
Atheist & Proud.

#270

Posted by: Dana Hunter Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:17 PM

Best of medical science to ye, PZ! The docs do know if they screw this up, screaming hordes will be on their doorsteps, right?

You or the Trophy Wife/Ambulance Driver/Angel of Mercy let us know if you need anything. We will be there with bells on!

We love you, we'll miss you, and we hope you'll be back soon.

#271

Posted by: jbowen42 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:18 PM

I'm glad you caught it. Don't worry about us and take as much time to recover as you need. We'll be here.

#272

Posted by: JackC Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:18 PM

What everyone else has said, I can say no better.

I just can't get over the sense that it would be ... interesting ... to generate a plaque-worthy donation to the hospital from all supporters. Wouldn't it be great to see an Atheist donation listed on the hospital wall?

I wish I knew how to start/support such a thing.

Get Well, PZ.

JC

#273

Posted by: pasadena beggar Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:18 PM

Jesus Christ, this sucks.

Do well,PZ. The planet and I need you.

#274

Posted by: Doppelgänger Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:19 PM

I wish you the best PZ Myers.

Be strong!

#275

Posted by: Evil Queen Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:19 PM

Best wishes for a smooth operation and a speedy recovery =)

#276

Posted by: procrastinator.myopenid.com Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:20 PM

@251 Guy Incognito
More like the "PZ Meyers accepted jebus before the operation" hoaxes.

#277

Posted by: Luke Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:20 PM

All the best, PZ.

#278

Posted by: hopscotchblog Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:20 PM

Sending my very best wishes for the speediest, easiest of recoveries. Looking forward to hearing from you again when you're up to it.

#279

Posted by: martinhingston Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:25 PM

Hang in there PZ!
We need you and your blog to cheeer us up and make us think. Having just gone through a lung transplant, here are some hints: be nice to the nurses (but make sure they sterilize their hands), don't take any crap from doctors of doom and have your wife bring you good food. You should be fine.
Cheers and stiff upper lip,
Martin

#280

Posted by: Deen Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:26 PM

Get well and listen to the doctor!

#281

Posted by: toadslick Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:26 PM

I'll make an offering to Cthulu in the name of your recovery.

#282

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:26 PM

Don't waste our time with payers? What's wrong with payers? It's the deadbeat nonpayers we shouldn't waste our time with, don't you... eh... what's that? Oh, prayers? Don't waste our time with prayers? Oh. Well, that's very different. Nevermind! </EmilyLitella>

But seriously folks... I'm in awe of your ability to write so breezily, and with such good humor, about something that must actually be mildly terrifying. I've had that "no, you don't understand: You need to get to the doctor now" phone call (albeit regarding my daughter rather than myself), and I know what a shock it can be. If your body demonstrates even a tiny fraction of the resilience your mind already has, you'll be fine.

And while I wouldn't waste a picosecond praying for you, I'll spend plenty of time on adding my good wishes to those of "the whole damn fam'ly" here at Pharyngula, not imagining that positive thoughts have any effect on physical reality, but just that knowing they're being thought will cheer you.

And is there some secular equivalent of sainthood we can offer to the MistressOfMercy®?

#283

Posted by: Christine McCann Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:27 PM

No prayers, but a "Hurray for science," which has advanced things nicely so they noticed a problem, and they know how to fix it.

I hope everything goes very smoothly and you recover quickly. You have a lot of wit and I'm going to miss reading it while you're out of commission!

#284

Posted by: Carl Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:28 PM

Good luck on your surgery and recovery!

#285

Posted by: abb3w Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:28 PM

Well, at least they found he has a heart....

#286

Posted by: Bethistopheles Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:28 PM

I'd like to echo the sentiments of many posters: May your life be long, your hospital stay short, your nurses hot*, and your pain meds plentiful!

*Including eye candy for the Trophy Ambulance Driver

#287

Posted by: Form&Function Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:28 PM

Aw, PZ! That sucks. I'll miss your posts during your convalescence. Hope it's short and sweet.

#288

Posted by: Frank b Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:31 PM

Ol-Greg #56 It sounds like your blood type is AB, which is about 10% of the population. AB plasma can be given to anyone, which makes it very desirable.

Minneapolis has the Red Cross for blood donations, but eastern Iowa has other local and regional blood centers. They all need donors, even atheist donors. So donate for PZ.

#289

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:33 PM

JackC:

I just can't get over the sense that it would be ... interesting ... to generate a plaque-worthy donation to the hospital from all supporters. Wouldn't it be great to see an Atheist donation listed on the hospital wall?

Better yet, how 'bout an explicitly secular waiting room/family lounge? A kind of un-chapel in which people could wait, watch, and reflect in a purely secular way, but where prayers and other religious observances would be out of bounds. Ahh, but I suspect no hospital would create any such space, no matter how much we raised to endow it.

#290

Posted by: RamblinDude Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:33 PM

Wow, so that was a warning before. Speedy recovery and such from whatever needs to be done. (And no, when they crack you open you may not stay awake to have a look-see. Jeesh, scientists.)

#291

Posted by: davidwaldock Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:33 PM

Here's hoping that the best doctors use the best science based on the best evidence to cure your unloving atheist heart ;-)

#292

Posted by: smithichie Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:36 PM

Here's hoping you're back in action quickly, but don't over do it either, heart problems aren't to be taken lightly.

#293

Posted by: Nurse Ingrid Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:39 PM

I am very impressed and touched by all the love and good wishes in this thread*. For all his wonderful snark, PZ has still set a tone for this blog that shows just how bighearted he and all of us atheists can be.

So, Dr. Myers, here's one more godless heathen wishing you good health, long life, and the best doctors and nurses that "Western medicine" (yee-haw!) has to offer.

*(that being said, this particular nurse would like to request a moratorium on "sexy nurse" jokes.)

#294

Posted by: James Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:39 PM

Wow. Hope it goes well for you and the best of wishes to you and your family.

#295

Posted by: sandihj Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:39 PM

Wishing you and the Trophy Wife the best care possible. Right at this moment, it's actually harder for her -- I know, been there, done that -- but if they can keep both my Devoted Husband and Dick Cheney going with modern technology, your fix-up should be a piece of cake. Oh, and if a bypass is what happens, you'll look and feel like you lost a knife fight with the Wee Free Men. Just sayin'

#296

Posted by: jaranath Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:41 PM

Hang in there, PZ. If there is ANYTHING I or any of us here can do... If you end up in the Springfield (IL) or Chicago areas I have family who could host people, if nothing else.

Oh, wait, I'm a mean heartless Gnu Atheist. What I meant to say was: Oh no you don't! Don't you DARE die before I get my certified, signed, sniny, Pharynguloid Horde Special Limited Edition copy of The Book! You have to stay around until you finish it!

Please? :/

#297

Posted by: duanerobertson Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:41 PM

Don't worry about it, Prof--just follow the experts' advice and you'll be fine. I only hope your insurance covers it all.

#298

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/AKp_B_gSkpRDRUl5yBtgnnB0OHZG#94c23 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:42 PM

From one survivor of a heart ailment to another eventual survivor, best wishes for a speedy recovery.

--Raynfala

#299

Posted by: Steven Mading Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:42 PM

This is where some of the temptation to think religiously comes from. You want to do something, but are not in a position to be able to. So you pretend you can petition some godly power to make things better, not because this helps the other person, but because it helps soothe the feeling of helplessness in yourself. When that's all that's happening, prayer is harmless placebo. Where it goes bad is when people start believing it really works as an alternative to useful help. Prayer supplementing help is not nearly as harmful as prayer substituting for help.

Here's not praying for you, PZ.

#300

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/Z5ZA2tlvketPsnG3G8EVJbgYwGEUHH4E#13219 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:42 PM

I had emergency heart surgery for two infected valves two summers ago. Unlike you, I was clearly in heart failure, so found no grounds to say no. I had little pain postop, but I was very cloudy the first two days. In fact, the first postop day, I "saw" my father there even though I knew he had died the year before. Anyway, none of it was anywhere near as bad as the horror stories I had heard.
Request: be nice to the people who do things like clean and deliver meals.
Advice: don't be a tough guy, take the pain meds when you have pain - it's proven that adequate pain control helps speed recovery. Ask for your sleeping pill before you are trying to get to sleep. Do not let anyone stick your hands for an IV if you can possibly talk them out of it.

#301

Posted by: John Sven Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:44 PM

Best Wishes!!!

#302

Posted by: vininger (Erin) Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:47 PM

Another of your minions coming out of lurking to wish you a speedy recovery!

#303

Posted by: jaranath Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:48 PM

Frank B @#288:

AB? Do you mean O negative? That's the universal blood donor...or does plasma work differently?

#304

Posted by: Quotidian Torture Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:49 PM

I lurk around here a lot, but I don't post often (I've also got to be the fiftieth person using this line). Regardless, I thought I'd add my best wishes for Dr. Myers to the ever growing chorus.

Pharyngula has been an oasis of rationality in the fundgelical desert of west Texas. I know it's helped to keep me (relatively) sane over the last four years or so, and I hope it will continue to do so long into the future!

#305

Posted by: percyprune Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:50 PM

I do hope you come back as a robot cyborg with laser eyes.

Can you get that on your health plan?

#306

Posted by: Jason Dick Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:51 PM

It's heartening to see that your black, shriveled, useless lump of beating muscle that is your heart has not dampened your writing ability :)

Get well soon, PZ! I hope to see many more of your rants!

#307

Posted by: gdavies Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:51 PM

I wish you luck. Just make sure everyone entering your room washes their hands. Pneumonia in a hospital is bad news.

#308

Posted by: Bing Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:52 PM

I look forward to your speedy recovery, PZ.

HJ

#309

Posted by: Nepenthe Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:52 PM

*Hands PZ a card with "Git well sooon" written on the inside in crayon*

#310

Posted by: Neil Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:52 PM

Get well soon, and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

#311

Posted by: Dhorvath, OM Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:53 PM


Relax, listen to your doctors and nurses, people will still be here when you are back up and running on all four cylinders.

#312

Posted by: texaskeptic Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:53 PM

You will be in my thoughts. I hope your new scar is as sexy as the beard! Get well soon.

#313

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:54 PM

Best of luck (and scientific medicine!) to you, Dr. Myers, and I absolutely promise not to pray for you!

#314

Posted by: Infectious Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:54 PM

Take care of yourself PZ, and listen to your doctors. Might be a good time to consider a vegan diet, seriously, just trying to help. At the least avoid the damn bacon! We need you out there fighting the insanity for a long, long time. Have a speedy recovery.

#315

Posted by: Jessie Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:55 PM

Very best wishes to you and your family for your speedy recovery.

#316

Posted by: Joe Fogey Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:55 PM

Good luck, mate.

#317

Posted by: iHunger Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:56 PM

WAIT A MINUTE -- don't you have 3 hearts?

#318

Posted by: sheik.djibouti.al.nayt Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:58 PM

Best wishes, PZ & family. I hope to see you back blogging at 100% quickly.

#319

Posted by: Colin Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:58 PM

Good luck, PZ, and I hope you will have a smooth, fast recovery.

#320

Posted by: NTICURN Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:58 PM

Never posted before, though I read you throughout the day. Have a speedy recovery, and (from an ICU nurse) do EXACTLY what the cardiac rehab people tell you to do. We'll miss you for a few days.

#321

Posted by: stoic.myopenid.com Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:58 PM

I will not pray for your speedy recovery nor will I wish you luck. But here's hoping.

#322

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/SaqGVG0xvJEQVwURVamS3DTCdvov0BLhXK1jOsYPPJQ-#b4893 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:59 PM

Wow. Get well soon, little feller.

At least you still have your boyish good looks.

MikeM

#323

Posted by: AnthonyK Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 4:59 PM

I just have to add to the not-at-all heavenly chorus of goodwill: have the surgery, and come back to us when you're well.
Good luck!

#324

Posted by: Tenebras Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:01 PM

Good luck, PZ. May your hospital stay be uneventful, your recovery be quick, and your pain meds be fun.

#325

Posted by: blacksteel42 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:01 PM

Best wishes from the hordes of North Antartic (well, New Zealand anyway). Being 17 hours ahead of you, I can report that everything is going well!

#326

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:02 PM

Geez, PZ. I'm so glad you have good, bossy doctors and the Trophy Wife™ to take care of you! All the best, you'll be in my thoughts.

#327

Posted by: Kaessa Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:02 PM

Here's hoping for a boring hospital stay and a quick recovery.

#328

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/SaqGVG0xvJEQVwURVamS3DTCdvov0BLhXK1jOsYPPJQ-#b4893 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:03 PM

Was this prophesied?

(Thanks to you, I can't get that damned song out of my head.)

MikeM

#329

Posted by: Ibis3, féministe avec un titre française de fantaisie Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:03 PM

No prayers. Just thanks to you for going and getting checked out when you felt chest pain the other day instead of brushing it off. Thanks to your doctor for being so firm about the necessity and convincing you to get fixed. Thanks to the Trophy Wife cum Mistress of Mercy™ for being around to help you out. And thanks to all the scientists, doctors, and nurses that will get you and your black, godless heart back in working order.

And now I'm gonna sacrifice a pig (not bacon, but spare ribs) to Asclepius & his daughters (among whom are Medicine and Healing).

#330

Posted by: knutsondc Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:04 PM

PZ, the world of reason, skepticism, and atheism just won't be nearly as fun without you around! Get well soon!

#331

Posted by: Deiloh Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:04 PM

Yikes, no fun! Get well soon.

#332

Posted by: Andrew Hall Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:05 PM

PZ Good luck!

A bit of comedy on the Monster Mosque.

http://laughinginpurgatory.blogspot.com/2010/08/ground-zero-mosque.html

#333

Posted by: ema Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:07 PM

Good luck, best wishes for a speedy recovery, and, it goes without saying, we expect to see pics of the scar.

#334

Posted by: Dianne Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:07 PM

AB? Do you mean O negative? That's the universal blood donor...or does plasma work differently?

Plasma works differently. It's full of antibodies (ie anti-B antibodies if you're type A, anti-A ab if you're type B and both if you're type O.) Hence, the desirability of AB. However, male donors are preferred because of their lack of antibodies acquired during childbirth, which can include anti-Rh (if someone screwed up and didn't give RhoGam) and anti-HLA. So, lowest chance of causing problems is male AB.

#335

Posted by: Athena Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:08 PM

Jeez! Not what I wanted to see today! Another set of "best wishes" and "get well soon" from me. As a former RN, a word of advice: Always do what the nurses tell you to do. They are the experts and spend more time with you than the doctors will.

Echoing Cuttlefish: please, please donate blood if you can.

To Mary: take care of yourself too.

#336

Posted by: rhys.wilkins Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:09 PM

PZ,

Another long-time lurker who's never dared dip a toe into the raging torrents of the comments. I thought I'd just pop in to send some entirely secular best wishes. Hope all goes well for you and yours.

#337

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/xaStVywarZ6R9nrlSjv4D8_6GGA0PWmf#765c4 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:09 PM

Best of wishes, PZ and TrophyWife et al! I have only been following for a little over a year now or something like that but your humor has been indispensable to me. I've even made friends in this strange place I live so far from home and family thanks to Pharyngula! So please follow your doctors' advice and relax so you can return to entertaining us all and facilitating my horrible procrastination habit very, very soon.
Squigit

#338

Posted by: Dianne Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:11 PM

Right, and, of course, best of luck to you, PZ.

#339

Posted by: TrineBM Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:11 PM

Get well!
Many cyberhugs to Trophywife and sincere well-wishes to you.
I hope you'll come out of this even stronger - or at least with a stronger heart.

#340

Posted by: xhakhal Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:12 PM


It is so very nice to know that you have a good doctor who won't take no for an answer :)
Here's hoping you'll be all fine and dandy, and patched up without any more complications. ♥

#341

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawm1qdPyIyo9dWkGS-I-MYNapFltfY6flWE Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:12 PM

My dad went through almost exactly the same experience last year - I'm happy to report he was up, about, and leading an active, eventful life again within weeks. Hope your experience is much the same as his.

#342

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:13 PM

My thoughts are with you, PZ. Good luck, and may your hospital stay be uneventful but not boring.

#343

Posted by: Darryl Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:15 PM

I certainly won't pray, and I have plenty of cross words to deliver to "the universe" (and to my drinking water), but I will retain an optimistic view to your quick return, PZ.

#344

Posted by: cdhawkins Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:17 PM

Best wishes, PZ!

#345

Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:17 PM

holy crap. good luck and stuff!

#346

Posted by: Shadow Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:18 PM

Thank Science! At least they have a treatment plan for you.

Get well soon.

@133: goat with curry -- wouldn't that be a snackrifice?

Should we feed tasteless crackers to squid, or zebrafish?

#347

Posted by: stevenduggan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:18 PM

Get well soon PZ!!! Peace and Love!

#348

Posted by: maggie Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:18 PM

Best wishes from all your Ozzie friends PZ and pleeeeeeese listen to your Dr you bumbling, wonderful, rational grissly bear :))

#349

Posted by: DoctorDan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:21 PM

Despite your blasphemy and flagrant disregard for my beliefs, I will pray the Flying Spaghetti Monster finds the mercy to tickle you back to health with a spare noodly appendage. And no need to worry anyway. A heart bypass is piss easy. I mean, they let the damn cardiac surgeons do it.

Best wishes, and remember, if you send chocolates as gratitude, address them to the hard working and underappreciated Anesthesiologist.

#350

Posted by: Ray Moscow Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:22 PM

Positive, woo-free thoughts are flying your way. We all hope your surgery goes well and that you're back to stirring up trouble in no time.

#351

Posted by: Carlie of the lacy, gently wafting adjectives Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:23 PM

Best of luck, PZ. My grandfather had an emergency surprise quintuple bypass in his late 70s (from a standard annual stress test that showed bad results), and sailed through it fine, so a young whippersnapper like yourself ought to do great. Rest up, take care of yourself and don't worry about us. Just let us know when you're ok, ok?

#352

Posted by: jaranath Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:26 PM

Dianne: Thanks! Y'know, I knew about the antibodies, but I hadn't really thought it through. I guess for whole blood my O- plasma is a small enough volume that it's antibodies aren't a problem...?

#353

Posted by: Bribase Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:31 PM


For a skeptic with such a big heart, it needs a tune up every now and then.

Here's to a swift recovery PZ

#354

Posted by: sharl Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:33 PM

Best wishes for a routinely successful procedure for the medical team, and for your subsequent quick recovery, PZ!
From another reader and (mostly) lurker.

#355

Posted by: Pareidolius Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:34 PM

So glad you got a warning instead of, well, nevermind that.

What I do hope for is that you get a private room because all the cephalopod related tchotchkes that will no doubt be festooning your room will probably freak your roommates out.

Take care. You're one of the good guys.

Now, where to find mylar squid bouquets . . .

#356

Posted by: broboxley OT Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:34 PM

will hoist a glass while facing north later tonight. Hope it all comes out ok, wait!....

#357

Posted by: SphericalBunny Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:36 PM

Shitty news...All the best to you + yours in meat space, you shall be sorely missed and I look forward to your return just as soon as you're safe and healthy again.

#358

Posted by: becca.chimis Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:43 PM

Sciencespeed, PZ! I hope your recovery is swift and goes well!

#359

Posted by: darthwader Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:43 PM

I hope everything goes well and you have a speedy and boring recovery.

#360

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:43 PM

Hmmm...maybe I'd better sacrifice some shrimp. Just to, ya know, cover the bases. In garlic sauce.

#361

Posted by: rystefn Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:43 PM

I hope to see you recover fully and quickly. The world would be a lesser place without you in it.

#362

Posted by: Seifer Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:45 PM

Meanwhile, relax, chill, don't panic, and most importantly, don't waste your time with prayers. Ever.

Hah! You didn't saying anything about animal sacrifice! *Runs off to the nearest petting zoo*

But in seriousness, get well soon!

#363

Posted by: mymindmeanders Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:46 PM

Good luck and best wishes PZ. I hope it all goes as smoothly as it did for my father a few years ago.

#364

Posted by: pitbone62 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:47 PM

Hope everything goes well and you have a quick recovery. The world needs more PZ.

#365

Posted by: James F Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:47 PM

Safe surgery and speedy recovery, sir.

#366

Posted by: chuckgoecke Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:47 PM

As I said to an older fellow(A WWII RAF hero and longtime freethinker) Richard Dawkins alerted us to, convalescing in a UK Hospital; "You, being undisputedly well within the realm of Geezer-dom, are completely within your rights to raspberry all the old, ugly and mean nurses, and to goose all the young cute ones(including males?)." I don't know if you are that assuredly a geezer yet, but a check for ear-hair will be a strong positive sign. Keep us posted, either directly or via proxy. All my positive thoughts are with you.

#367

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:48 PM

What I do hope for is that you get a private room because all the cephalopod related tchotchkes that will no doubt be festooning your room...

Did I miss a reference to a mailing address, or at least the name of the relevant hospital, to facilitate delivery of said tchotchkes?

Also, is the PhyberSquad swinging into action? Maybe this time I can figure out how to contribute a square, despite having no knowledge of knitting, crocheting, stitching, hooking, or any other of the fiber arts.

#368

Posted by: marthasgallagher Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:50 PM

Count me in for pharyngulating the blood banks - since A+ isn't particularly useful as whole blood, I'll bring the platelets.

#369

Posted by: Cobolt Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:50 PM

Wow,PZ. Hope it all works out well for you and yours.

Good Luck.

#370

Posted by: Stefan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:51 PM

PZ - Shocked and saddened to read about your heart thing. Really gonna miss you while you are on the mend...and what can I say except best wishes for a smooth procedure and speedy recovery. I imagine it will be hard for you to just take it slow...but do what them doctors tell you.

#371

Posted by: geralcorasjo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:51 PM

Enjoy being waited on at the hospital and I hope you have a speedy return!

#372

Posted by: DominEditrix Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:52 PM

[Intelligent design, my callipygean ass.] Get well, PZ, and take it easy on the bacon in future. Your minions will miss you, but we will seek more polls to Pharyngulate in your honour during your absence.

And, yes, never turn down a pain med. Lack of incessant pain works wonders for recovery.

#373

Posted by: gould1865 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:53 PM

Get well soon, PZ.

#374

Posted by: tanyawalker79 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:53 PM

Good luck, PZ. I was not expecting to read that today - obviously, you weren't expecting to hear that news either. I hope you have a speedy recovery and I look forward to your continued blogging!

#375

Posted by: Archaeopteryx Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:54 PM

I'm sorry you have to go, but I'm glad you're going. As I tell my students, "You need your heart."

No screwing around, now. Get well and get back to work fast. I understand they've got some guy ready to fill in with some sort of a banana demonstration.

#376

Posted by: NixNoctua Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:56 PM

I hope you get well quickly, PZ. You're too awesome to just be laying around in bed :(

#377

Posted by: Randomfactor Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:57 PM

Change that to a gristly godless clot of fully functional fibers.

Surely you mean "phully phunctional phibers."

My FSM, PZ, you're younger than *I* am. Suddenly I...I don't...I don't feel so good...

#378

Posted by: Ring Tailed Lemurian Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:58 PM

Almost worth it to get your own Cuttlefish poem.

Come back soon, with all three hearts tickety-boo.

#379

Posted by: Samantha Vimes Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:59 PM

THe "false alarm" wasn't false, after all?

I am so glad now you took the cautious route and went to the hospital instead of resting it off.

I'm sure the college will find some other dickish evolutionist to fill in for you while you're recovering. ;)

Hoping you get better soon.

#380

Posted by: Primewonk Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 5:59 PM

My dad had open heart at Abbott a couple years ago. What an incredible technological heart center.

The only thing that kinda bugged me was the McDonald's serving burgers in the food area.

Oh well, guess they need to keep a fresh supply of future patients.

#381

Posted by: Warthog Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:00 PM

This happened TODAY? Shit! I'll put you on my prayer list, er, well, don't worry, I'm sure you'll be OK. :)

#382

Posted by: tobbe.aspa Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:00 PM

Shit. Get well. My wife says hi.

#383

Posted by: Dr Zorro Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:02 PM

We few, we happy few, we Band of Bloggers. For he who shares his blog with me this day shall be my brother. William Shakespeare ("King Henry V")

Get well soon brother

#384

Posted by: Ramases_1 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:04 PM

The best of luck PZ, I hope it all goes well. We will miss you here in the meantime! Make a good recovery and come back to us!

#385

Posted by: dr-rieux Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:05 PM

I live within a few miles of "Abbott" (Northwestern Hospital) in Minneapolis. I'm thinking of heading up there and dropping of something with the hospital receptionist for PZ—a flower and card, I suppose.

If anyone has a (realistic) suggestion of something I can bring (in addition or instead), either as a well-wisher or for more concrete helpful purposes, I'm all ears... for the next several minutes, anyway.

#386

Posted by: jefrir Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:05 PM

Best wishes to you, and to TrophyWife.

#387

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/hairychris444#96384 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:05 PM

All the best to you & the family. Seems that it's been caught when there's still chances to do good and, as we all know, medical badassery is... well... scientific badassery, therefore good.

#388

Posted by: dr-rieux Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:07 PM

And if anyone named Myers is visiting Minneapolis right now and needs some kind of concrete assistance, please e-mail me at camusrieux AT yahoo dot com. There are, obviously, a whole lot of Minneapolis/St. Paul Pharyngulites who are more than happy to lend a hand in this time of need.

#389

Posted by: Yoritomo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:08 PM

Get well soon, and don't get bored in hospital!

#390

Posted by: Free Lunch Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:08 PM

Best wishes. Remember, the doctor is rarely terrified and you won't be after all the drugs.

#391

Posted by: robin andrea Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:08 PM

Good luck to you, PZ. Don't worry, we never waste our time in prayer, but we will raise our glasses of wine in your honor tonight. We wish you well and a very speedy recovery.

#392

Posted by: Rorschach Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:08 PM

All the best and a speedy recovery mate ! You'll be fine, although coughing will be a bitch for a while.

#393

Posted by: Malkyrian Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:09 PM

Long time lurker here.

PZ, you are awesome.

Get well soon.

#394

Posted by: otrame Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:11 PM

You know, for an amoral, hatefilled, evil atheist-type person, you seem to have an awful lot of love headed your way.

It's not that I think it will make a difference in your surgery et al., but the good will is there for you and the TW and the kidlets. This little hitch in your plans will just help remind us all how much the hours you spend blogging does for us and give us an excuse to tell you how much we appreciate that.

You have made a positive difference in the lives of so many of us.* Thanks for all the hours I have spent reading you and this insane bunch of regulars (my people). My claws have never been sharper and my coat has never been sninier and it's all because of you.


*Although the ones who hate you enjoy hating so you give them pleasure, too.

#395

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawkIPKthVPyGXfsOwAFEWmfclKPpSZHj-80 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:11 PM

I'm grateful that you are receiving care, and offer best wishes for your recovery.

#396

Posted by: R. Schauer Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:12 PM

Whoa, shit! At least you're going to Abbott...the best around for heart ailments.

Speaking for myself and I'm sure a few of the other local non-believers...if you or Mary need anything, ANYTHING...you know where we can be reached. Take care, PZ!

#397

Posted by: davidhortonsblog.com Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:13 PM

Best wishes from Australia PZ. And best wishes from another elderly (cough) zoologist who survived a heart attack 2 years ago. When I complained about taking pills afterwards a friend said - "Better than the alternative, isn't it?" and he was right. You will come back, shiny and new, better than ever, with the heart to continue the good fight. Take care
David Horton

#398

Posted by: Rincewind'smuse Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:16 PM

My best wishes to you and your family, but in all honesty if they can successfully continue to push warm blood through Dick Cheney without it congealing you ought to be a slam dunk.
Seriously,though, I went through something similar about three weeks ago and was fortunate enough to come through with a cleaner bill of health than I have a right to. It can be a tremendous stress on the family, my family's thoughts are with you and your family.

#399

Posted by: richardtheskeptic Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:17 PM

PZ, we wish you a comfortable and speedy recovery.

Richard Wade and the rest at Friendly Atheist.

#400

Posted by: opposablethumbstoo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:17 PM

Posted by: dr-rieux Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:05 PM

I live within a few miles of "Abbott"

Guess it might amuse him to know his well-wishers are writing in to the Richard Dawkins website (RD foremost among them) as well as into the hundreds here. Will you involve a cephalopod in some capacity?

#401

Posted by: Matt "Nora" Penfold Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:19 PM

All the best PZ, and to your family.

#402

Posted by: billygutter01 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:22 PM

Shitty news, P Zed.

I wish you, from Newfoundland, (where everybody is a walking heart attack)a swift recovery and a speedy return to the blog.

Never forget: Chicks dig scars!

#403

Posted by: Twisted_Colour Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:22 PM

I'll think of you as I eat this egg and bacon sandwich.

#404

Posted by: john.s.wilkins Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:23 PM

Damn, Paul, I'm the one who smoked for thirty years; it should be me, not you.

I wish you the best outcome here (that you corrupt the souls of the medical staff as they use Satanic Science to fix you).

#405

Posted by: Twisted_Colour Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:24 PM

Oooo... Runny egg dripping on my chin. EGG PORN!!!

#406

Posted by: CobaltSky Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:26 PM

I guess this has been said many times before in these comments, but: all the best through these hard times.

There is a history of heart disease on both sides of my family so I can probably look forwards to the same scenario in the future. I have managed to dodge the hair loss so far though so who knows? =)

#407

Posted by: Peapoh Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:28 PM

All the best PZ. Here's to a speedy recovery. :]

*raises office dixie consumer product cup*

#409

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:28 PM

PZ:
:(

Here hoping for a speedy recovery. *tips glass*

#410

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/lgw21Rxl0dQmG4cQ26ehM6.QB2f23l9US7MWmIf28_sneQ--#b8618 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:30 PM

How wise you were to mind the warning signs on your walk that day! Best wishes for a speedy recovery; we'll miss your posts (but not as much as if you hadn't heeded the warning signs and weren't around anymore).

#411

Posted by: Dusty Loft Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:30 PM

Another long time lurker here.
All the best to you and your family PZ.

#412

Posted by: sidheag Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:32 PM

All the best, PZ, to you and the Trophy Wife. Hope someone will take pictures so you can blog about it afterwards :-)

#413

Posted by: Greylander Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:33 PM

Hey PZ,

May the environment (i.e. your doctors) contribute many useful gigawhatsabits of information to the fundamental structures and processes of your heart.

...then get your ass back here to call me a fucking moron again soon!

#414

Posted by: francesco.orsenigo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:33 PM

Yup! Very best wishes from Italy, Greece, Germany and Argentina! ^^

#415

Posted by: Greyfan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:33 PM

Ah, a foxhole moment. Although confounding believers matters, honesty neither requires nor demands unflinching courage. Moments of fear, trepidation, anxiety---all are allowed for non-believers. And a greater gift, perhaps, than an anesthetizing faith.
Live well.

#416

Posted by: echidna Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:34 PM

Hope all goes well, PZ.

Love Cuttlefish's ode. I've now got the phrase "PZ from Snowy River" rattling around my head.

#417

Posted by: dmj.ccc Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:39 PM

Also long-time reader delurking to wish you the very best.

#418

Posted by: Finch Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:40 PM

So some type of bypass surgery?

Regardless, best of luck on a smooth and successful surgery and a full and speedy recovery.

#419

Posted by: Benjamin O'Donnell Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:41 PM

To use Daniel Dennett's useful phrase, "Thank Goodness" for modern medicine (and what must be a good health insurance scheme offered by your university). You have my best wishes for an early and full recovery, PZ.

#420

Posted by: dr-rieux Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:42 PM

opposablethumbstoo @400:

Will you involve a cephalopod in some capacity?

I would, but I can't see how to make that work on short notice.

#421

Posted by: herlathing Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:43 PM

Ah, PZ, you should move to Canada where we have a different way of doing these things. We wait till you have angina on wiggling your big toe and then we put you on a waiting list - for the angiogram. Once done, we tell you to maximise your medical therapy. When that no longer works, we talk about an angioplasty or even a bypass. You will get the proper procedure after arriving at the tertiary care centre in extremis, at which point you will be asked why you waited so long - but don't take it personally; we say it to everyone. Oddly enough, our cardiac stats are as good or better than those from the US. Probably means something. Anyway, best of luck - and remember that we can't afford to have both you and Christopher H. out of action, so GET WELL SOON!

#422

Posted by: Lee Picton Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:45 PM

This message is for the beloved Trophy Wife instead, as PZ has now had hundreds of well wishes for himself. Mary, as a longtime caregiver to the dying husbeast, I know that you must pace yourself. Do not think you have to spend every minute by the sickbed or pace in the waiting room consumed by stress (yes, it's caregivers that get the stress, not the patient). Eat healthy food, try to keep regular hours, sleep whenever you can, and if sleep is slow to come, get some drugs of your own. Nothing screws up a caregiver's strength like not getting enough sleep. When he gets home, he should have a urinal handy. I highly recommend a model called Ursec (you can't spill it, even if it drops). Get extra pillows and a plastic bib. Borrow a walker. If all he is getting is stents (the husbeast has eight), he will be feeling better rather fast. A bypass is a different story and will take longer. Also, beware of patient depression; it's very common and will pass. Just don't be alarmed. Make sure he sleeps a lot when he gets home, even if he doesn't want to. And just ignore him when he gets cranky - remember, all the power will be in your hands. My best to the both of you.

#423

Posted by: cubefarmed Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:46 PM

Another lurker and longtime reader wishing you a speedy recovery! This is one of the few places I credit to my 'de-conversion', and I look forward to reading for many more years.

Take care!

--Marrisa.

#424

Posted by: pistoreyu Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:46 PM

Oh my. No, I suppose most of us won't pray -- yet if any sort of good vibes could reach you, mine undoubtedly would, among so many more. I wish you and yours the least possible uneasiness about all this. Please take care.

#425

Posted by: azumahazuki Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:47 PM

Oh, it was mentioned in the "false alarm" thread, but drink lots and lots of green tea, preferably decaf. And eats lots of ginger and garlic and chillis :) A healthy diet doesn't have to be at all bland, and apparently the spices that taste the best are also really good for you.

I've heard that paramedics in Utah keep pure, organic cayenne pepper powder in thair ambulances, and that a teaspoon in 16 oz of warmish-hot water is supposedly able to save someone in the throes of a major coronary. Need to do more research on that, but try drinking it every night for a week after recovery and see if it helps? I warn you though, you will shit your grandparents' last meal the first night >>;

#426

Posted by: nejishiki Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:47 PM

Fine, fine, go have your decadent open-heart surgery and laze around in the hospital... but we'll expect all the more posts when you get back.

#427

Posted by: Doug Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:48 PM

I have been where you are...my best wishes for successful surgery and a fast and full recovery.

#428

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawmRjbXoDgCq4N0aNWT2Z2RtB4Mm9CbDVys Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:49 PM

Wow, Professor, you really ruined my day.

Make everyone who comes into your room wear a mask over the mouth and nose.

@JohnWhite: Please explain the 7 1/2 cats.......

#429

Posted by: ginckgo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:50 PM

Well that certainly puts my small complaints into perspective. Post some pictures of your chest cavity. With labels and scale bar, of course.

#430

Posted by: W. H. Heydt Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:50 PM

I don't (unfortunately) have the energy at the moment to read 420 comments, however....

Sounds like bypass surgery to me.

Been there, done that (triple, 10.5 years ago).

Some advice.

1. You'll wake up on a respirator. Don't fight it. The machine will win every time.

2. When that want to find out if you can breathe on your own, give it everything you got and the hell with pain. They'll tell you what to do.

3. They'll give a funny little pillow...stiff foam, not very big, rather long. Wrap your arms around it against your chest when you cough because coughing will hurt like a son of a bitch. That pillow will keep you from feeling like you're coming apart (mostly, because that's an actual risk post-op).

4. If you hear noises like a fountain running when you wake up after surgery, that's the drain lines keeping fluid from building up inside you.

Since you have access to my e-mail adress, feel free to write and ask questions (or have the Trophy Wife(tm) do so).

--W. H. Heydt

Old Used Programmer

#431

Posted by: Teddydeedodu Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:51 PM

I hope everything goes well with you PZ. Cheers.

#432

Posted by: tutone21 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:52 PM

Just left a message on Deepak's voicemail asking if there is a home remedy that can be used. I am sure he will get back to me via "power of conscience."

But seriously, rest and speedy recovery. Better this than a heart attack.

#433

Posted by: setad7 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:52 PM

Good luck PZ. I'm sure they'll put the tentacles straight.

#434

Posted by: Sal Bro Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:53 PM

All right, who's going to start organizing animal sacrifices and baby tastings by major metropolitan area? We must summon all atheist power to get PZ back into the fray ASAP.

#435

Posted by: senecasam Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:53 PM

Best to you, PZ. Looking forward to your quick return.

#436

Posted by: mr.obelus Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:55 PM

Virtual, comforting hugs to Paul and his family, from Pittsburgh. Please be well, all.

: )

#437

Posted by: rhonda Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:56 PM

Another longtime lurker wishing you the very best and a speedy recovery.

#438

Posted by: Tualha Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:57 PM

Phew. Good luck, PZ. Hope it all comes out ok.

Rather interesting that this happened so soon after Hitch's cancer diagnosis. Remember the quote from a James Bond book? Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

Yes, I'm paranoid. But some of them really are out to get us. And some of them work for the US armed services, and quite possibly for the intelligence services. And they had some pretty dirty tricks up their sleeves way back in the 70s.

#439

Posted by: jaybgee Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 6:58 PM

Wishes for a speedy recovery from California. I also second the idea mentioned up thread for a "best of" previous posts. I would really appreciate it, being a new Pharyngulite myself.

#440

Posted by: Rokkaku Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:00 PM

Get well soon!

#441

Posted by: jonezart Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:02 PM

Get well soon, PZ. Please do what the doctors tell you to do.

#442

Posted by: PervyPirate Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:02 PM

Oi, get well from th' scurvy, ye lily-livered landlubber! Them bilge rats better not be replacing yer harrrt wit' a baked potato, or I be skewering 'em with me cutlass! Me spyglass be upon ye, mate!

#443

Posted by: Reality Chic Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:02 PM

PZ -

Sounds like a CABG is coming your way. I will miss you while you're away. Best wishes for a speedy recovery. You and your family are in my thoughts.

No prayers, just hugs.

Somewhere in Michigan

#444

Posted by: Aunt Benjy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:03 PM

You will find the nurses generally to be very nice, but surgeons are often pricks. Just sayin'.
Surgeons get their bedside manner from the fact that their patients tend to be unconscious...

Best of luck, and get well soon.

#445

Posted by: Brian English Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:03 PM

I suspect this is just a cunning ploy to get a head count. Flush out the lurkers and take a census! The deviousness of the squidman.

Get well PZ. Love your work.

#446

Posted by: Jenth101 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:04 PM

Best wishes. Get well soon.

#447

Posted by: Sid Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:05 PM

May the force best of science be with you.

#448

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:05 PM

Get well soon. We need your heart and your brain on the side of rationality and reason.

#449

Posted by: opposablethumbstoo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:05 PM

dr-rieux @ 420

Maybe a picture on the card, or a soft toy one or something :) (are they called plushies on your side of the water?) as a stand-in for all the real live ones waiting for him to get back on his feet.

I really love your idea of dropping off a little something like that for him and his family! Go you.

#450

Posted by: Matthew Oakley Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:06 PM

Another delurker just wanting to wish you all the best. Get well soon.

#451

Posted by: drumprof Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:06 PM

I am so very glad we live in a time when this wonderful Primate(Ape as Richard Dawkins puts it)Species has figured out how to fix a man's ailing heart....our invention of science and medicine really is quite astonishing.
I send you my best wishes PZ....You will be back to once again torment the IDiots of the world.

#452

Posted by: NWells Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:07 PM

Oh crap. Best wishes to you and your family.

#453

Posted by: Paul Burnett Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:10 PM

If PZ gets to spend his malingering, er, recovery time working on his book, we should at least get to vote on the title - "The Revenge of the Cracker" perhaps.

Here's to a short and uneventful hospital stay, PZ. Hope everything comes out okay.

#454

Posted by: solumpki Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:10 PM

I hope we may thank goodness for your health very soon. Do as the doctor says!

#455

Posted by: bigdavesb Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:13 PM

Well, I wanted to try and do something useful, so did this:

http://www.justgiving.com/notpraying

Get well soon PZ!

#456

Posted by: Arnold T Pants Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:14 PM

I hope the workup, treatment, and recovery go well. Good luck and be well, PZ.

#457

Posted by: Don1 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:15 PM

Get well soon.

#458

Posted by: gryphontiger Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:16 PM

I'm thinking fantasy dream sequences a la "All That Jazz," with sexy, scantily clad women and lots of booze. But this time, with a happy ending. Get well soon PZ, if for no other reason than your recovery will make the cracker-huggers heads asplode!

^..^

P.S. And we need you! Dammit, man, we need you!

#459

Posted by: maggie.brazeau Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:16 PM

Oh, for the love of monkeys.

Best wishes, PZ. I hope your recovery is swift and uncomplicated.

#460

Posted by: sphex Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:17 PM

Add my voice to the many wishing you the speediest of recoveries.

Today was *my* first day of classes, and coming to read Pharyngula was my reward to myself for finishing all the paperwork associated with adding/dropping students.

It was a little devastating to read this, actually- and as always inspired my admiration for your perspective and your humor. My own heart hurt to read your news, PZ. I'm glad you have good people taking care of you. Please continue to follow their advice and get well soon.

#461

Posted by: Tim Harris Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:17 PM

Am just out of hospital after a heart operation (nowhere like as serious as yours), and I offer my very best wishes. I'm sure things will go well - techniques have been vastly improving - and you'll soon be back at your pharyngulating.

#462

Posted by: SteadyEddy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:20 PM

PZ- you'll be in good hands at Abbott. Not prayin' just sayin'- be well soon.

#463

Posted by: jk Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:20 PM

It's moments like these I'm profoundly glad you're in the care of people at the modern end of a long tradition of seeking to understand the workings of the body as opposed to appealing to a higher power. Good surgeon and a clean theatre beats imaginary friends every time.

I'm sure similar sentiments have been expressed many times in the hundreds of comments above but good luck and hope you're back with us as soon as possible.

#464

Posted by: Dean Buchanan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:22 PM

Good friends and loving family are part of teh heeelin' process. You octopi their thoughts. Thank goodness you are surrounded by them.

#465

Posted by: Tigger_the_Wing Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:23 PM

Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!

Just woke up, read PZ's blog entry and can't read the thread for tears.

DAMN!

and SHIT!

I like you, PZ. Do everything the medical staff tell you and behave. Relax (as far as you are able) and Get Well Soon, you hear?

Great Big Granny-hug coming from Canberra.

Now to take my heart meds.

#466

Posted by: orandat Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:25 PM

Get well soon, PZ.

#467

Posted by: Pygmy Loris Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:28 PM

Oh shit. Hope everything goes well. You and your family are in my thoughts.

#468

Posted by: Elizabeth Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:28 PM

Yikes, scary news :( I really hope that things turn out well for you, PZ. Best wishes to you and your family.

#469

Posted by: Daz Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:32 PM

Best wishes PZ. Hope it all goes well.

Long time lurker, first time poster.

#470

Posted by: ferguman2 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:32 PM

Good luck
You've got a large potential barrier to go over. Think about the other side of this and you'll be fine.

I am and always will be one of your little monsters

#471

Posted by: E.V. Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:33 PM

Add me and my family to the list of well wishers for you and yours.

#472

Posted by: Marcie Dietrich Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:33 PM

You'll be in my thoughts.

#473

Posted by: Jessa Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:33 PM

Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

May you be back to skewering those who deserve it in no time.

#474

Posted by: AJ Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:36 PM

Best Wishes PZ. We'll miss you while you are gone, but please take the time to recover properly. There's years of Pharyngula archives to keep us busy :)

#475

Posted by: hznfrst Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:36 PM

PZ, it may brighten your day to know that I intend to desecrate an entire box of communion wafers just for you - now get well, dammit!

#476

Posted by: Bob H Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:36 PM

Get well PZ! That's an order!! - How do you think we can get along without reading you every day!!! What will we do, what will we do!!!!!

You might want to look at The China Study, I think it might prevent a relapse in the future:

http://www.amazon.com/China-Study-Comprehensive-Nutrition-Implications/dp/1932100660/ref=wl_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=I92LTG7QTUJFM&colid=1TAAF5NA11MT7

Bob Harmount

#477

Posted by: YetAnotherAtheist Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:37 PM

Get well very soon, PZ, and I sincerely hope all goes well. Instead of a prayer, I'll raise a beer in a toast to your health!

Damn, I only have wine coolers. They'll have to do.

#478

Posted by: MikeFuckingG Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:37 PM

All the best for a speedy recovery. I hope you have the finest doctors and nurses to help you through this time.

Science will win the day!

#479

Posted by: Naon Tiotami Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:39 PM

Get well soon, and don't forget to tip your acupuncturist.

#480

Posted by: riverrunner Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:39 PM

Dear PZ,

You have done more to help me escape the bonds of religion than anyone else (besides me).

Thank you for your tireless efforts to defeat pseudo-science and superstition. Your sunday sacrilege posts are well thought out and oh so eloquent.

I hope that you fall within the statistical odds of a full recovery due to the diligence and expertise of the medical staff attending to your condition. In other words 'get well soon'. praise science!

Just think in say 500 years we may yet relegate religion to the history books.

#481

Posted by: Chris Sparks Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:41 PM

Add yet another long time lurker to the list. May you have an uneventful operation, and a speedy recovery. All the best!

#482

Posted by: maarten.jan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:44 PM

Get well soon!

#483

Posted by: pseudostratified Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:44 PM

Don't let the bastards get you down! All the best wishes for a speedy recovery. I fully expect to see you at Skepticon 3 (though you may have to skip the drinking contest)

#484

Posted by: Blondin Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:46 PM

As much as I look forward to following your blog every day I hope you'll take it easy and just concentrate on getting well. Of course if you should find the time to post the odd update that would be good, too.

Take good care of yourself, PZ. You gotta stick around at least until somebody makes a "Fuck me, PZ Myers" music video.

#485

Posted by: hasbeen Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:46 PM

Be good to yourself.

#486

Posted by: ambulocetacean Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:48 PM

Bummer, PZ. I hope all goes well.

It probably has something to do with running haemocyanin instead of haemoglobin. It's always best to stick to the designer's specs.

#487

Posted by: KyBoiler Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:53 PM

These "doctors" of yours probably think a little arterial plaque could stop Cthulhu too. HAH!

Seriously, take care of yourself and enjoy the nurses and painkillers for a while. Remember to have faith... in the treatment plan's empirically observed success rate, your doctors' years of training and experience, the nurses' care-taking, and your own sense to get medical help when you need it.

#488

Posted by: Warren Parsons Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:54 PM

I really hope things go well for you in the near (and far) future.

I've read your blog for quite a while now and you would be sorely missed were you to shuffle off.

#489

Posted by: Paulo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 7:58 PM

I'm probably one of many who have been lurking for a while, and regularly - could I say "religiously" ? - visiting this blog and reading every post, without ever having posted a comment.

This one was another bad surprise.
Last June I got Hitch-22 for my wife's birthday and we took a day off to go get it signed by CH in NoCal. That's the day the news came up on his cancer, and all the book tour events were cancelled.

Now we hear PZ is in some trouble as well.
We're hoping it will be a very temporary absence, and that he will get back to his shrill, outspoken and militant Pharyngula persona.

Get well soon, and ... yeah, think about getting some exercise and follow doctor's recommendations and eat healthier once the medical procedures get you back as new.
Take care.

#490

Posted by: gordon.yk.wong Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:00 PM

Be well and be strong Prof. Myers.

As requested I will not be praying for you at all.

#491

Posted by: Phledge Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:01 PM

Looking forward to a speedy recovery and a stronger heart. Glad this was all caught in sufficient time.

#492

Posted by: jenbphillips Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:01 PM

Fervent wishes for a successful procedure and speedy recovery, PZ. Be a good heathen and do everything the docs and your MistressOfMercy tell you to do. Oregon's pulling for ya!

Thank you for the prompt, Cuttlefish. My local Blood Bank will be enriched by one pint of my O+ this week, in PZ's honor.

#493

Posted by: Rixaeton Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:03 PM

Hope it all goes well, and they find your heart is not as shrivelled as they make out to be.

No prayers, just the best of medical care.

#494

Posted by: Alison Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:03 PM

If it weren't for science - and, face it, biologists like you, PZ - you would never have gotten that call and the chance for a long healthy life that you now have. Here's hoping that science rises to the occasion and makes you well again!

#495

Posted by: Savior Breath Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:05 PM

Getting through the day is so much easier with a smattering of Pharyngula. I adore your writing, PZ, and I feel so at home with the religiously-insensitive crowd you've assembled.

All the best.

#496

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnDeIPvGdG5Ko4xndZFTM9TfaGkoKe-h1E Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:05 PM

PZ: Best of luck to you, the hardest part is the coughing afterward. The science is marvelous, but all the tubes and that briefcase full o' pus and blood... oh wait, I don't want this to be off-putting...


Learn to pwn the Voldyne dude it does work, I am seven weeks out from a quint and doing fine & I suspect that you will do fine as well. I hope the trophy wife is up to hauling everything a while since they will have you not lifting things over five lbs for about six weeks. Your arms will turn to toothpicks and your manboobs will sag to your navel.

The rest of you bloggers and readers? Don't be so damned sedentary... listen to those people who tell you to exercise periodically and not to sit so long. Fix your freaking diet so you don't get a bypass with a free pacemaker accessory - be good to yourself because you are worth it.

#497

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:06 PM

That's Monday for you. As you "rest" in the hospital (50+ interruptions per day: get earplugs and eyeshades), you'll have lots of time to pick out healthy recipes and plan your exercise routine. Good luck! Won't be wasting my breath praying—will be thinking of you, Mary, & children.

"Live long and prosper!"

#498

Posted by: Commissar Claw Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:06 PM

Best wishes PZ.

Rest well and don't push yourself.

#499

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:09 PM

If possible, get someone else to drive Mary while you're in the hospital; she'll be distracted.

Best,
M.

#500

Posted by: tcapener Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:10 PM

<delurk>Be well PZ. Show 'em what for!</delurk>

#501

Posted by: spaghettificatedgod Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:12 PM

In case you get bored enough to read down this far,(which I think is a fair possibility) I wanted to also electronically convey my hope that all goes as well as is humanly possible, PZ.

Take it from a 1st. year, med-student in his 2nd. week... Uhhh... I know nothing. So just get well sooner rather than later. Please.

#502

Posted by: Charlie Foxtrot Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:12 PM

Can't they somehow use some of your liver cells in some form of transplant? That thing seems indomitable!

If you need somewhere to relax and recharge, might I mention that Aus is starting to come out of winter now... those parts that actually have winter.

#503

Posted by: Frank b Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:12 PM

Jaranath #303, You are right about O Neg RBC's being the universal donor. Type O red cells don't have A antigens or B antigens on their surface, so type A, B, and AB people can be transfused type O blood. The Pos and Neg refer to the D(Rh) antigen. Rh Neg patients should only get Rh Neg blood, except in emergencies.
I am type O Pos, I should never, ever, ever be transfused A, or B, or AB red cells. As little as 15cc of ABO incompatible red cells can be fatal.

In my experience heart surgery patients don't need much blood, and PZ doesn't seem to have other complications. I'd be surprised if he needed more than 4 units of blood.

#504

Posted by: tscottt Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:13 PM

PZ, I have enjoyed your writing, your mind, and your heart. Make sure it's fixed soon, or I shall be quite cross.

#505

Posted by: Herk Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:14 PM

Gulp.

Is it still superstitious if I only cross my fingers metaphorically?

Are best wishes wishful thinking?

My metaphorical fingers are crossed and I'm best wishing anyway.

Have a nice doctor, PZ. And fer cryin' out loud, take a break!

#506

Posted by: Aquaria Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:14 PM

Take care of yourself, and don't worry about the blog. Or you could hand over the keys to some guest writers, like before?

Never mind. Do what you have to do. We'll be okay.

#507

Posted by: CanadianChick Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:15 PM

Here's wishing for both your medical staff AND the kitchen staff to be in the top 1% of their respective professions

#508

Posted by: David Marjanović Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:15 PM

Man. Almost 500 comments! I have no chance to catch up. So I'll just say what has to be said, even at the risk of repeating it:

They said, of PZ Myers, "why, the man has got no heart!
He's the bastard son of Satan, don't you know?"
Now it's off to Minneapolis, to crack his ribs apart
And determine if the situation's so.

Science! Fuck yeah. =8-)

Best wishes for a speedy recovery from a loyal lurker. We'll burn eat a plate of Maccheroncelli at our personal FSM shrine tonight.

FIFY!!!

And what kind of weird blood does Ol'Greg have anyway? C neutral?

Good question.

Bring on the "Paul is dead" hoaxes!

Iono. Perhaps we can finally bury that Meyers guy.

Win.

#509

Posted by: Grahame Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:16 PM

Good luck PZ. You'll breeze through it, I'm sure.

No more bacon though.

#510

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:17 PM

CUE THE GUEST BLOGGERS! What are graduate students for,>/i> anyway?

Oh, and if they give you a choice of meals for the next day, *write in* things like fresh fruit, extra milk, and green salad. Hospitals here actually respond to that sort of note.

#511

Posted by: Butch Pansy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:18 PM

Hmm...maybe I'll pull out the butch stops and go lie to give blood for someone in need. They still don't take blood from men who have sex with men. It's the cooties, you know; someone might catch teh Gays.

P.Z. remember: you are surrounded by people who love you. We would all like to see you on the other side of the surgery doors, alive and ornery.

#512

Posted by: Susan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:20 PM

Best of luck, PZ, and do what your doctors tell you. Some nice cardiologists fixed my husband's heart last year with an ablation and this summer, for the first time in 25 years, he hiked the Sierras without fainting. You might end up feeling 30 years younger when it's over!

#513

Posted by: SCorinth Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:22 PM

Is it prayer if I say "Good luck, PZ!"

#514

Posted by: wasd Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:22 PM

Don't let the thought that we all want you back blogging again ASAP push you to much or anything, because I certainly want to see you back in blogging condition pronto! I mean did you really think we meant “get well soon” as some sort of superstitious wish or something? Of course not its an order!

#515

Posted by: articulett Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:26 PM

*pacing*

Eagerly waiting the news that you've come through with flying colors.

Pharyngula is a definite high point in my life!

#516

Posted by: H.H. Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:27 PM

Ah, shit. At least you're getting it taken care of before something quits on you. Good luck, PZ. We're all thinking of you.

#517

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/CAo0YutvyZDUb7LMfXODj..WaV3e#ccc0c Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:28 PM

Thinking of you P.Z. I hope everything comes out well. Thank goodness for modern medicine giving us old guys a better chance.

#518

Posted by: FossilFishy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:30 PM

Fuck prayer, I'm going to do something. Because I'm a stranger, because I'm in Australia, I can't bring a meal to the Myer's or offer to mow the lawn or some other small thing to ease their daily life.

The only thing I can think of is to donate appropriately.

https://ww2.heartfoundation.com.au/index.cfm?page=56

Get well soon PZed.

#519

Posted by: Xplodyncow Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:31 PM

Uh, Professor Myers, will this be on the test?
...
I hope you have a quick recovery and plenty of good drugs. Lots and lots of them.

#520

Posted by: AlgaeGirl Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:33 PM

Speedy recovery Dr. PZ!!

#521

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:34 PM

articulett:

*pacing*

Eagerly waiting the news that you've come through with flying colors.

You aren't alone, my tentacles are in knots. I have my towel though, and I'm keeping busy.

#522

Posted by: GvlGeologist, FCD Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:35 PM

I'm sending my best wishes your way, PZ, and irrationally keeping my fingers crossed.

The semester began today. Are your students pissed? (or should that be, "pzed"?

Good luck!

#523

Posted by: tryflyfishing2 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:36 PM

Well, well please get well and soon.

#524

Posted by: Rubicon Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:39 PM

Speedy recovery PZ!

#525

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawmBmXJ4EaOoZwcFKPYJYdW4GrZ6Q2hqOWQ Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:40 PM

May you heal as quickly and painlessly as possible!

And relax, yourself! (As best you can.)

#526

Posted by: sacredchao2305 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:41 PM

This is horrible timing. Who is going to give me a line-by-line evisceration of this BBC article: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-11063939

Title: ‘Survival of fittest’ is disputed
Synopsis: BBC writers don't know what 'survival of the fittest' means.

#527

Posted by: haltritz Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:44 PM

It has all been said in every possible way, so I'll make no attempt to be original. I just look forward to your writing your own version of Dan Dennett's "Thank Goodness."

#528

Posted by: Marie the Bookwyrm Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:45 PM

Well, damn!

Glad to hear your doctor was on the ball, and wouldn't take no for an answer. Here's hoping all goes well for you in the hospital and afterwards, PZ. And here's hoping the Trophy Wife (TM) gets plenty of support, because I'm sure she's seriously stressed. And when you're released from the hospital, don't push yourself! Your loyal minions will be loyally waiting for you. :)

#529

Posted by: Robert H Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:46 PM

Oh shit...


#530

Posted by: PZ Myers Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:47 PM

Latest word: I failed my blood test. Not enough potassium, they said. So I'm choking down big salty horse pills all night, and my horrible invasive test is deferred to the morning.

Good news: they might be able to patch me up while they're having their vile ways with me in the AM, and then I go home the day after. If they can't, out come the knives and the saws and various implements of destruction, & I don't go home until next week.

#531

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnvaBDZFSybaniXJtb5jyHPoJk6XDIQtHs Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:47 PM

Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

#532

Posted by: Watson Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:47 PM

Here's to a flawless operation and some speedy healing, Professor M.

#533

Posted by: sbtech001 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:47 PM

I hate to jump on the band wagon but, I think in this case it's more than warranted.

I'd like to join the other 500 odd posters in hoping for an uneventful hospital stay, with the best medical staff available.. and a little luck never hurts either.

No doubt you'll be blogging with the fire of a thousand suns in no time.

-SB

#534

Posted by: dr-rieux Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:48 PM

Well, I've dropped off a little pot of flowers ("Oh, no, not again"?) and a card at the hospital.

As of 7:00 P.M. Central time (~50 minutes ago), I was told that the Trophy Wife was in with him, and that he was doing fine. I suspect the procedure hasn't taken place yet, though.

There were no cephalopod cards available at my local grocery store, so I got a blank card with an orangutan on it (primates, cephalopods, same difference) and wrote a short, sappy note.

Miss you, PZ. Come back soon.

#535

Posted by: tedhohio Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:49 PM

Good Luck Doc! If you see a white light, don't head for it . . . it'll be the damn spot the doc is using and trying to get up at that point would be a bad thing! If she does ask for a finger to help tie off a stitch, let the nurse do it.

Seriously, looking forward to seeing you thumping on pseudo-scientists for years to come!

Ted

tedhohio@gmail.com
http://sciencestandards.blogspot.com

#536

Posted by: dr-rieux Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:51 PM

Oh, great. My report missed the man himself by a minute.

Damned outdated iPhone.

#537

Posted by: Snikkers Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:51 PM

Best wishes and no matter how much you may want to, don't be Mr. Cranky Pants to the nursing staff.

#538

Posted by: Knotty Melody Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:51 PM

Yikes! Speedy recovery! Hope we see you back online soon.

>>

#539

Posted by: obakare Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:52 PM

Feel better soon PZ!

#540

Posted by: ursulamajor Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:53 PM


Dauphin:
Better yet, how 'bout an explicitly secular waiting room/family lounge? A kind of un-chapel in which people could wait, watch, and reflect in a purely secular way, but where prayers and other religious observances would be out of bounds. Ahh, but I suspect no hospital would create any such space, no matter how much we raised to endow it.


I think the doctors, nurses, and hospital as a whole would be impressed by a letter writing flood of gratitude when all is said and wonderfully done. They too often work so hard to fix people only to have all of it shifted to gawd. Let's send them thanks for all the science they do.

#541

Posted by: rironin Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:54 PM

Get well soon PZ.

#542

Posted by: tuibguy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:54 PM

I would think that it wouldn't take so much surgery and stuff to fix your heart. Why not a sweet song by the "Hoos" down in "Hooville?"

#543

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:55 PM

PZ:

So I'm choking down big salty horse pills all night, and my horrible invasive test is deferred to the morning.

Yuck. It's better than an exploded heart though. Glad to hear from you, I hope Mary and the kids are okay too. You're all in my thoughts.

#544

Posted by: Rorschach Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:55 PM

Wellwishers,

why "drinking lots of fluids" might be a good strategy for a common cold, it most certainly is not for after cardiac surgery.

@ 530,

Ah good news PZ, so angio first and then decide after that, hope you can get away without the surgery !

#545

Posted by: bPer Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:56 PM

PZ, after my first cardiac procedure, I was told that from now on, I'd be considered a heart patient. I guess a belated 'welcome to the club' is in order.

In a weird way, I feel privileged to have gone through the two procedures I've had, experiencing first-hand some of the best that science, technology and medicine have to offer. Being surrounded by such knowledgeable, skillful, cheerful and caring people brought my stress level way down and made the experience tolerable.

I hope that after this episode is over you feel the same way.

βPer

#546

Posted by: abrasax365 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 8:58 PM

Having survived brain tumor surgery, a stroke and a triple bypass I can assure you it's all a cakewalk if you have the right attitude. Listen to your doctors and love your neighbor even he's a Christian.

#547

Posted by: steve norton Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:00 PM

PZ I wish you good health and a long life. Your voice is a treasure may it echo loud and clear for a good time to come!!!!!!!

#548

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/lgw21Rxl0dQmG4cQ26ehM6.QB2f23l9US7MWmIf28_sneQ--#b8618 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:00 PM

So I'm choking down big salty horse pills all night...

Take 'em with milk. The fat in the milk helps ease them down your espohagus. Also, make sure you are sitting up straight.

And dr-rieux, thanks! What a kind gesture!

#549

Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:01 PM

Low potassium? Not eating your broccoli and bananas? Hope at worst it's a stent.

#550

Posted by: skeptifem Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:01 PM

Good luck PZ!

#551

Posted by: mxh Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:02 PM

Good luck, PZ. I'm sure it'll be fine... lucky for you there are a lot of people with bad hearts around and the treatment is pretty much down to a science.

#552

Posted by: Mark Myers Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:03 PM

I have read all of your articles every day for months and enjoyed sharing them with friends. Finally signed up today to say how much I appreciate your work, will miss it when you take a break, but look forward to lots more later. Rest a lot, follow instructions and get well soon!

#553

Posted by: LiLo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:04 PM

I wish you the best of care, attention and outcome. Modern medicine is amazing. I guess the best advice is to go with informed submission. Oh, and be nice to nurses. Get all fixed up soon. You need to be in good shape to ride those fake dinosaurs.

#554

Posted by: randydudek Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:07 PM

Speedy recovery, Dr. M.

#555

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:07 PM

*hugs to PZ!*

Seriously, man, knives and saws are scary. I hope all goes well.

#556

Posted by: DLC Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:07 PM

PZ : I will not be praying for you, as I don't believe in it, and even if I did there's studies to show that those who're prayed for fare worse than those who are not. But, as I did for Hitchens I will for you. Best Wishes on a successful outcome and a healthy and speedy recovery.

#557

Posted by: PZ Myers Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:08 PM

Thank you Dr Rieux! It's appreciated.

The miserable thing right now is that I really feel fine, fit, and healthy, and that it's not at all appropriate that I be in one of those breezy hospital gowns, in a bed, with needles stuck in me and saline getting pumped into my veins. It's like I'm in the hospital to be made sick enough to belong in a hospital (uh-oh, conspiracy theories -- must be the brain damage).

Anyway, it's probably a good thing that they've forced me into the Big City Hospital to get it all taken care of now, 'cause if my heart blew out suddenly in Morris, there'd be nothing there to repair it. They'd probably have to pop open my chest to stuff a soybean in there in the hopes that it would evolve into a heart in time to keep me alive.

#558

Posted by: Marie the Bookwyrm Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:08 PM

ursulamajor @540--That's a nice idea. Of course, some local will have to provide the hospital'a address. But that shouldn't be a problem.

#559

Posted by: Part-Time Insomniac, Zombie Porcupine Nox Arcana Fan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:10 PM

I only just joined, but I never like to hear about anyone having heart trouble. Get well soon PZ!

#560

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawmoYaBcTvFcPKzZQ2yB6IAVlouNAqRJDtE Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:10 PM

I'm not much for commenting on big blogs where each one gets lost in the sea of well wishes.. but I'll do it anyway (for a first time) since I'm very fond of reading Dr. Myers on a regular basis.

Get well soon PZ.

#561

Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:11 PM

They'd probably have to pop open my chest to stuff a soybean in there in the hopes that it would evolve into a heart in time to keep me alive.
Soybean? I thought it was a sugar beet. Or rutabaga.
#562

Posted by: Maslab Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:11 PM

Best of luck, Professor. Hope to hear that you're back up to full speed again soon!

#563

Posted by: leafwarbler Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:11 PM

Wishing you a swift recovery from whatever pain and suffering the surgeon's knives may inflict upon your black heart! I'm sure you'll be back, with ungodly haste, to darken our RSS feeds again.

#564

Posted by: lynnai Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:13 PM

Ah bugger.

Best wishes to you and the family.

I'm going to play the semi-educated optimist assume that this being caught before a massive heart attack it will be easier to fix without the associated tissue damage.

Oh hell fucked if I know if that's true but it sounds good so lets run with it, eh?

best advice I've heard all day: Don't Panic.

#565

Posted by: residualecho Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:14 PM

Ten years ago or so, I went through back to back surgeries for a spontaneous pneumothorax (collapsed lung), in which they pried ribs apart to staple it up, and then once again because, well, they missed a spot.

The reason to tell this story is to warn you that you have to be your own team leader, since many of the staff don't always communicate with each other as much as they might, because of their specialties, so the job of coach is ultimately yours.

I was being readied for the second surgery on Sunday morning, when the nurse came in to remove my epidural that had been in since Friday's surgery.

"But I'm using it!"
"Anesthesiologist says it has to come out."
"Do I get another one? Does he know I'm going in to surgery again?"
"You are?"
"Maybe you should let him know."

I got to keep it for another couple of days, but the message is, keep track, and if possible, have the Trophy WifeTM helping to keep track of what's happening. Modern medicine is amazing, but it is a human endeavor.

Atheist afterthought. While it was a bit sobering to consider that I was completely out three times for surgeries over the course of three weeks, and that there was always a possibility that I might not recover from any one of them (I've got two scars that meet in the middle, from nipple to spine, that took 50 staples to keep closed), it didn't occur to me to re-evaluate atheism. It wasn't anything heroic, I just forgot.

#566

Posted by: Cowcakes Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:16 PM

Fair well in your in your latest unexpected adventures. Seems like every second person I know is suffering an "embugerance" to use a term from Terry Pratchet.

A work colleague has recently had several stents and is now back bush walking most weekends and doing very well. My mother late last year went in for hip replacement which triggered a quadruple bypass and despite her age in considerable excess of your good self is now in excellent health.

Modern medical techniques and skilled and dedicated doctors and nurses do magnificent work so I'm sure you will be fine.

#567

Posted by: ronsullivan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:17 PM

Well shitballs, that's some Monday.

Smooth surgery, fast recovery, and good drugs to you. We expect to see the surgery on YouTube ASAP.

All-a-ya Minneapolitans: Someone drag TW out for a meal and a long walk now and then, while someone else sits with PZ and cracks jokes and/or reads this string to him. Remember: A belly laugh is as good as a cough, and Pay Attention To That Pillow.

#568

Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble OM4Jesus Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:18 PM

Dear Professor Myers,

You say you don't want earnest prayer!
I think that's very sad.
For when approaching things we fear
God wants to help you, lad.

So here's a little prayer from Smog,
Just for your dicky heart,
And though God hates an atheist Dog,
He loves a pious fart.

That's why I'll stand, with buttocks clenched,
And fart a prayer for you,
It will be strong, and Heaven-stenched,
I've eaten baked bean stew.

Dear God, "parp" "parp", please save PZ
From needles blunt, and boredom,
And God, "crack" "splat", please grant PZ
More years of atheist whoredom.

Don't sentence him to godly prats,
His sickbed room invading,
Kick all godbotherers in the slats,
With atheists pervading.

For he don't need no piety
To give him longer life
Just something clean, and sciency,
Wrapped in a trophy wife.

Then bring him back to bloggerdom,
Made lean and fast and strong,
So those who speak of Christendom,
Can be told why they're wrong.

And as with every Christian prayer,
We end with sacred words:
"Shove a cracker up your rear,
Religion's for the birds!"

AMEN


#569

Posted by: Cath the Canberra Cook Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:22 PM

Here's wishing you the best of luck, PZ!

And don't sexually harass the nurses, not even if they are as gorgeous as some daft people are fantasising about in this thread. They are professionals who don't need that kind of shit to deal with. Plus, they are in a position to take horrible, horrible revenge...

#570

Posted by: apikoresblog Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:22 PM

I'm usually more of a lurker than a commenter, but I just thought I'd pop my head up to say I hope you get well soon PZ. I really appreciate what you do here, and I hope you can keep on doing it for many decades to come. Best wishes.

#571

Posted by: amishkraken Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:22 PM

Best wishes, and I hope you have a speedy, uneventful recovery!

#572

Posted by: echidna Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:23 PM

Ah, Smoggy, I love you.

#573

Posted by: Paulo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:24 PM

@568: Dude, get a grip.

#574

Posted by: Hekuni Cat, Champion of Oriana Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:24 PM

I know it's not the news you wanted to hear, but it is the timely news you needed. Get well soon, PZ.

#575

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:25 PM

Latest word: I failed my blood test.

*shakes head* Shoulda studied.

#576

Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble OM4Jesus Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:25 PM

Dear Professor Myers,

I almost forgot. I have a good friend named Floyd Rubber who is a highly trained and professional male nurse. He's also a 400-pound Christian sodomite with multiple piercings in his erectile tissue and a penchant for rough sex, but I know you aren't the judgemental type.

Anyway, as I was saying, Floyd Rubber would like to offer his services to you free of charge for as long as you need him. He can change you, turn you, massage you and pluck out any excess body hair plaguing your recovery. He also offers an intimate blanket bath with candles, scented oils and intimate prayer.

If you're interested, just tell Mama Myers to call him on 0900-BadBearNurse4U

#577

Posted by: Marella Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:26 PM

That sucks so much. Well all you can do is be grateful for modern medicine without which most of us would not be here.

Best of luck PZ and make sure they give you plenty of painkillers, they are not evidence of moral weakness, they are a gift from the poppy.

#578

Posted by: Thegoodtwin Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:26 PM

Best wishes PZ!

#579

Posted by: KillJoy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:28 PM

Dang PZ, get better. And be good! I know that last part might be difficult for you. :P

KJ

#580

Posted by: John E Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:28 PM

Perfesser Dudeness,

Best wishes. Looking forward to hearing your hospital stories.

#581

Posted by: Krystalline Apostate Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:29 PM

Please get well and be well soon, PZ.

#582

Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble OM4Jesus Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:29 PM

Dear Brother Paulo @ 573,

I'm not sure I need to get a grip, sounds like you're doing enough gripping for all of us.

Don't worry though, you won't go blind, just a little stupid.

Yours in Christurbation
Smoggy
Ex-Missionary to the Atheists

#583

Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:29 PM

Dude, get a grip.
Smoggy is comic relief, his forte. So enjoy. We do.
#584

Posted by: Q Myers Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:30 PM

Best wishes from another Myers. Looking forward to hearing all about your experience.

Q

#585

Posted by: No One Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:31 PM

Fuck.


#586

Posted by: BillMetrey Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:31 PM

I've already wished you a speedy recovery so I won't repeat that now.

I do hope that your trophy wife takes care of herself while you are in the hospital and recovering. Her health is vitally important to yours right now.

#587

Posted by: Scorpy1 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:31 PM

Good to hear that things are quieting down there.

Though, I still wouldn't trust them big city doctors and their big, scary needles and strange whirly gigs.

#588

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:32 PM

Paulo @ 573:

@568: Dude, get a grip.

Now, now. Smoggy is a valued and beloved member of The Horde™. If you're not careful, he'll pray for you...and possibly bring sheep into it.

#589

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:33 PM

Hit the JustGiving link @455; thanks for setting that up! Also, I agree with Ursulamajor (@540) re a flood of Thank You letters to the staff.

Now I'm off to pack my gym bag! This should serve as a reminder to all of us to take better care of ourselves. I'm not going to give up bacon or martinis, mind you, but I am going to work harder at compensating for them with exercise!

#590

Posted by: Dean Buchanan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:37 PM

PZ adds meaning to my life.

#591

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawlUvcr-eQyhtZV_ZxbAyF4BTd5JcNMpJoU Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:40 PM

God speed (so to speak). First Hitchens, now you. If Dawkins, Dennett, or Harris gets stricken next month, I may have to rethink this whole "probably no god" thing. But dammit! I just can't imagine which of the old buggar gods might be smiting you heathens.

Alas! A connundrum. :-(

#592

Posted by: JackC Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:41 PM

Paulo: If Smoggy did not exist, we would have to invent him. Chill.

UrslaMajor, I love that idea. Personally, I will wait to hear the report tomorrow and try to hold a suitable interval... wouldn't want to inundate the good Doctor (the one with the knife that is) before the event.

JC

#593

Posted by: Dean Buchanan Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:43 PM

He also adds meanie...
you know,
the good kind of meanie

#594

Posted by: doubtfuldaughter Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:45 PM

Good luck P.Z. I'm glad the doctor convinced you to take care of yourself.

I hope a speedy recovery is on the horizon.

#595

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:46 PM

So glad Smoggy joined the party; I've been hoping for that. Now I know it's all going to be OK!

#596

Posted by: humanistic-rabbi-jeff Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:47 PM

Get well soon! We need you!

#597

Posted by: vestergaard.rene Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:47 PM

Best of wishes, PZ and family!

In case you find some time to start reflecting on things during your time in hospital, let me just say that what some other people seem to be calling being strident, a dick, and what-not, I consider to be a breath of fresh air and a real oasis of sanity that I would hate being without. You have wrestled with the beast of routine thinking and more for a long time, and your ability to instantaneously rephrase woo and hidden and not-so-hidden agendas into rational thought and analysis is all but unparalleled, as far as I'm concerned.

#598

Posted by: gregmusing Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:47 PM

This is rough news. I wish you a speedy recovery. I feel like I've just heard that my brother is sick and in peril. Can I loan you my heart while they fix yours?

#599

Posted by: Robert H Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:48 PM

In honor of PZ

An Atheist's Prayer:




#600

Posted by: dr-rieux Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:49 PM

ursulamajor @540:

I think the doctors, nurses, and hospital as a whole would be impressed by a letter writing flood of gratitude when all is said and wonderfully done.
Marie the Bookwyrm @ 558:
That's a nice idea. Of course, some local will have to provide the hospital'a address.
Okay; not only am I a local, I was born at Abbott Northwestern Hospital.

Abott is at 800 East 28th Street, Minneapolis, MN 55407. I imagine one Myers or another can provide the names of doctors and nurses involved. I do worry a little about privacy/security issues, though.


All-a-ya Minneapolitans: Someone drag TW out for a meal and a long walk now and then....
I'm more than willing--I met both Myerses at a Minnesota Atheists event at Q. Cumbers restaurant several months ago; they're lovely people. But this surgery is a big deal, and I really don't want to intrude into what's not my business. (I hope and assume that P.Z.'s got friends/academic colleagues at the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities, which is all of 3-4 miles away from Abbott, who can help the Myerses out. That is, people they know better than they know me!)

Still, I'm very happy to help out if necessary: camusrieux AT yahoo. And in light of the tremendous help PZ has provided us, I'm sure lots of other members of Minnesota Atheists would be very happy to pitch in as well.


(BTW, I went by "Rieux" around these parts--e.g., here--until the nasty registration system forced me to dust off my old LiveJournal account. I'm no doctor, notwithstanding the twenty minutes I spent visiting a hospital today.)

#601

Posted by: mrcreosote Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:49 PM

Sounds like what happened to my nephew - walked into the doctors office feeling crook - wound up having open heart surgery to replace a dud valve.

I got him one of these as a 'get well' present

http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=WON-PORTHOLE&Category_Code=WON

#602

Posted by: heyjude Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:51 PM

Thinking of you lots n lots n lots n lots n lots. And your family too. Much love and hopes for a speedy and painfree recovery.

#603

Posted by: Steven Dunlap Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:51 PM

Despite the humor it does sound a bit scary. Modern medicine works amazingly well these days. Better than even a few years ago. I do very much hope it does so for you.

And for your dose of God, here's the latest Mr. Deity:
Link in case the embed doesn't work

#604

Posted by: Utakata Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:52 PM

I'm not sure I understand...I'm glad PZ is taking this with a sense of humor, but the details of this have flown over me. Perhaps that dizzy walk in the park the other day was a little more than a heart valve burp and hiccup.

I really hope PZ will be okay...because he's the only few persons I know on the left that are not gone of their rocker, nuts. And he's only a few persons I know who is a skeptic that hasn't taken up a course in the Penn & Teller Shcool of Ferengi Economic Nuttery. So I hope he sticks around more; a lot more. And this is just a case of his heart valve having a cold that can be easily corrected.

#605

Posted by: Zugzwang Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:56 PM

I'm another one of those lurkers who read your blog frequently and who are now popping in to wish you well.

I'm making offerings to the chess goddess Caissa, the sacrifice of a rook and a pawn, in the hope that the forces of evil that are causing you all this suffering will be repelled, subjugated and ultimately checkmated.

Get well soon!

#606

Posted by: Serve France Its Bacon Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:58 PM

I blame God. If she would bother to exist then none of this would be happening. But noooo, just continued, perpetual non-existence.

Best wishes to you and your family.

#607

Posted by: imflyboy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:01 PM

Hitchens, now you??!! Guess God finally got busy striking down the Godless! J/K!! I know this will suck, but best wishes and looking forward to seeing you blog again

#608

Posted by: Cafe Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:02 PM

Be well PZ,

I'd like to continue to hear your godless voice, your obsession with cephalopods, your occasional foray into embryonic developmental biology, your sharp wit and humour...but please, no more chimps masturbating with frogs...my wife could not stop laughing ;)

Cafe

#609

Posted by: Dust.....spy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:04 PM

Get better soon PZ! And no prayers evah?

It's a deal! :)

Get Well.

#610

Posted by: imflyboy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:04 PM

BTW, did you get a sympathy card from Ken Ham yet? A good god fearing Christian wouldn't gloat, would they????

#611

Posted by: flagrantfouler Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:07 PM

Hey best wishes man. Try to enjoy the time off.

#612

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawmoYFnyTIVCa94myyA_qwNPDWZgbdFBnzY Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:08 PM

Good luck PZ, and best wishes to you and TW from a long-time lurker.

Zackoz

#613

Posted by: Jim Atkins Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:08 PM

As Alice Roosevelt Longworth used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come over here and sit down next to me." Get well soon, PZ- I will miss your mordant wit.

#614

Posted by: Wiggy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:08 PM

Looks like you're about to pull a Letterman. Here's hoping for successful treatment and a speedy and thorough recovery. As they say here in Korea, HWAITING! (Konglish for "fighting": used as encouragement to persevere)

#615

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:09 PM

Welcome to middle age, PZ.

PS, the doctors will tell you to shed 20 to 30 pounds. Trust me on this.

#616

Posted by: Eric A Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:10 PM

If you do end up at Mayo with some time to kill, give me a ring. I work in an electronics research lab that would probably bore you to tears, but I could maybe pull some strings to get you a tour of some icky "wet" lab.

#617

Posted by: hyoid Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:10 PM

I was gonna yell something like:

"Get in there! Get fixed! Rub some dirt on it! Walk it off and get the hell back here! I ain't got all week to wait either! So, Move It!"

Hugs&Kisses

(I just couldn't bring myself to do it.)

Hurry back! I'm rooting for you!

#618

Posted by: ogremkv Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:11 PM

I hope all goes well.

#619

Posted by: Rixaeton Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:13 PM

Just reading the Abbott hospital website spiritual care page:

Rooted in theological integrity and sacred traditions, we minister to the human condition to foster individual and corporate healing, meaning and hope.

I would ask if you can get a discount if you don't use their services.

And what the heck is "corporate healing" anyway?

#620

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:17 PM

Abbot Northwestern Hospital accepts donations: http://www.abbottnorthwestern.com/ahs/anw.nsf/page/foundation

I've donated, specifically to the Cardiovascular Research/Heart Disease Services, with a note of thanks for their care of Dr. Myers.

#621

Posted by: JackC Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:20 PM

And what the heck is "corporate healing" anyway?

That means that, unlike the Shriners, they expect to be paid.

JC

#622

Posted by: jrenish13 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:21 PM

Seen the movie, read the book, got the t-shirt. Hurts like hell for a week or so then gets progressively easier. After a couple of years, it's just a minor inconvenience. After 22(!) years, one marvels at the "miracle" of science and technique that keeps one alive and feisty. Get well, PZ, and fight the evil, er, good fight.

#623

Posted by: Paulo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:21 PM

@Caine, JackC: Pay no heed, disturb or otherwise engage the smoggy singularity. Got it.

#624

Posted by: lancaster1455 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:24 PM

Oh crap,

Hope you're okay. I've never been big on comments but I guess now is the best time to say:

I love your blog, almost everything you say I agree with, and the things I dont make me think long and hard. I check for posts every day and always look forward to new ones. Get well soon PZ...

#625

Posted by: lynnai Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:24 PM

*laughs* oh dear.

Please ravening horde, merciless minions and general well meaning bastards.

I'm afraid it probably hurts like hell* to laugh with stitches in. On the flip side of that I'm not sure if there is a better way to express our twisted affection. Hrmm. Nope. No good answer. So here have a link to a picture of puppies instead:

http://mystuffspace.com/graphic/puppies-2.jpg

*hell in this definition would be akin to sitting though a Pat Roberson marathon while sober.

#626

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/m9raRbFiyoGBxUYbC7NoRO4Cwk9c6SBaEA--#9563c Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:25 PM

Best wishes!
I wasn't even allowed to leave the hospital after my angiogram, and my triple bypass was the next day.
My 'coughing pillow' was a teddy bear, and I am proud to this day of grossing out a nurse by naming him 'Phlegm.'
Be sure to talk to someone about possible loss of mental acuity as a result.
You will rest more than you ever thought you could, but the recovery can be almost miraculously quick. Personally, I always got in trouble with the physical therapist because I couldn't walk as slowly as they wanted me to.
Tell the Trophy Wife to take care of herself, too.
I hope it goes well for you both.

#627

Posted by: mxh Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:28 PM

Hope you're not at a hospital where you have to stare at Jesus all day.

#628

Posted by: jen Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:28 PM

Hope all goes as well as could be hoped for...

#629

Posted by: Steve Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:29 PM

Hey- maybe Target will contribute $100K or so to PX's care and pull their reputation out of the toilet. ^_^

What all those folks ^^^^^ said: Best wishes for a speedy and complete recovery. You are in good hands, and cardiology/cardiac surgery is well along in effectiveness these days.
Steve Weeks, DDS

#630

Posted by: Smoggy Batzrubble OM4Jesus Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:30 PM

Dear Brother Paulo,

I'm reasonably non-toxic once you get to know me. And I can sell you a bulk load of BIBLE™ at a great discount. I've already sent PZ a tankerload of BIBLE™to aid in his healing.

#631

Posted by: smackshack Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:31 PM

Best wishes, PZ, and here's to a speedy recovery. If your black, cold heart can pump bile like it does now, then I can't wait to see what you'll be up to when you're better.

#632

Posted by: Primewonk Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:31 PM

Everyone remember the STEP study from a few years back? They showed that patients who were told in advance that a group of random people were praying for them had higher rates of complications than folks who got no random prayers.

I think PZ is safe with us.

#633

Posted by: 6-bleen-7 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:33 PM

がんばって, PZ!

#634

Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/CoxkKJE0ro_mSac3sNN0spZuE9c7BxOsLw--#9ee78 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:34 PM

Good news: they might be able to patch me up while they're having their vile ways with me in the AM, and then I go home the day after.

Sounds like they think you may be a candidate for a stent, but that they won't know until they're actually doing the angiogram.

Hang in there, and do what the docs tell you to do. We need you.

#635

Posted by: hourlily Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:35 PM

Best wishes, PZ. I promise I won't pray for you.

#636

Posted by: cocker.splodie Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:37 PM

Hey PZ - hang in there. I come from a family of cardiac cyborgs and it's amazing what those people with scalpels can do nowadays. We're thinking of you and we'll make sure Hemant holds down the fort. :)

Get well soon. My best to the family.

#637

Posted by: bitterbug Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:38 PM

Get well soon, PZ!

I got a phone call like that once. I'd been feeling under the weather for a few days and I went to the doc in the morning and they swabbed my throat as a routine measure.
Later that night they phoned, telling me I had to go get some antibiotics. I said the pharmacy was about to close and I'd go in the morning. The nice lady politely told me I was going to get my ass to the pharmacy right away if I didn't want to suffer heart and liver damage, and 12 hours would make all the difference.
She wasn't kidding. I didn't end up in the hospital but I spent a few days in agony before the antibiotics killed the infection.

When the nice doctor or assistant phones to say you need to move quickly, and you want to argue with them -- do it while you're on your way to the place they're telling you to go. :)


#638

Posted by: Steve Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:38 PM

@629
O Crap. I meant "PZ"
Otherwise message stands.
Steve

#639

Posted by: antaresrichard Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:39 PM

To your speedy recovery.

#640

Posted by: Katryn Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:41 PM

Delurking from Vancouver to wish you well.

I am very glad that you did go in for the initial tests! Hope that no saws will be needed in the nxt few days.


(BTW I have a similar voice that I use on my patients when I need them to DO THAT NOW. )

#641

Posted by: Mbee Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:41 PM

Hi PZ, The same thing happened to me and I ended up with a triple bypass. That was 9 years ago and I'm still doing very well enjoying a busy life.
Those doctors have a lot of science going for them so I'm sure you will be fine.
My thoughts are with you and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

#642

Posted by: PyroKev Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:43 PM

Aw man, bad news, I sure will be thinkg of you! Science be with you.
Hopefully in a few days you can have some visitors.

#643

Posted by: s.crooz Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:45 PM

Get well soon, PZ!! Take your time coming back....we'll survive....somehow.

#644

Posted by: Ring Tailed Lemurian Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:45 PM

They'd probably have to pop open my chest to stuff a soybean in there in the hopes that it would evolve into a heart in time to keep me alive.
Sounds like the plot for the next Crank movie - "Crank 3: Low Potassium"
#645

Posted by: DominEditrix Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:46 PM

Soybean? I thought it was a sugar beet. Or rutabaga.

Artichoke - it's an artichoke. Where do you think they get artificial hearts?

#646

Posted by: Cyg Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:47 PM

Get well, PZ! Very wise to put your health first.

My wife was a nurse in Abbott's cardiac intensive care unit (now we live in Calif) and she assures me PZ is in the best possible place he could be in the Midwest. Contrary to the impression some commenters may have, Mayo is not the next step if Abbott can't help. Mayo is great for cutting edge research and offers privacy for celebrities, but Abbott is better than Mayo for cardiac care due to its amazing network of top doctors, who prefer life in the beautiful City of Lakes to the relatively conservative semi-boring place that is Rochester, MN. You can't do better than Abbott!

#647

Posted by: subanark Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:47 PM

We (the Harpers) wish you the best of luck.

#648

Posted by: bobingersoll#a3d48 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:50 PM

Get well soon PZ!

#649

Posted by: tresmal Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:51 PM

Is this your doctor?
Before you go through all the trouble of surgery, try this. Take drop of bacon fat, add it to a gallon of distilled water, shake it, dilute it by a factor of 10...

#650

Posted by: fbudinichd Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:52 PM

Best of Science!

#651

Posted by: llewelly Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:55 PM

Come off it, you guys. We all know this is just a cover-up, to disguise PZ's upcoming secret visit to the Cyber-Squid Army Research Headquarters.

#652

Posted by: flounder99 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 10:57 PM

So, PZ's heart tests show trouble? I heard Ray Comfort's brain scan came back negative.

#653

Posted by: inajeep Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:00 PM

Another anonymous reader wishes you strength and a hearty recovery.

#654

Posted by: MadScientist Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:00 PM

I hope PZ survives the ordeal. Personally I would have given him 2 choices for dropping out of his teaching duties: go for an operation or be moved out in a box. I'm guessing the blood tests showed very high levels of certain enzymes and although his previous torture test didn't appear to show up anything abnormal, it is rather unfortunate that such a situation is quite common - problems are not easily reproduced yet there are serious problems. Fortunately there are several diagnostics.

#655

Posted by: Godless Bliss Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:03 PM

From My Heart to Yours

#656

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:04 PM

May you have the results that the woo-addled expect, but without all the woo. I hear that today's surgeons use up to 98% less woo and actually rely on science and research and other stuff like that.

#657

Posted by: Harbo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:04 PM

Here's hoping for a smooth passage and to return to the frontline.
We minions will await your command, oh great poopyhead.

#658

Posted by: museumknitter Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:08 PM

PZ, be nice to your lady doctor and hope she doesn't bear a grudge against all those PhD's who think they rate being called 'Doctor'. Just do as you're told for once, we need you back here STAT.

#659

Posted by: djmooretx Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:10 PM

I wish you well, sir, useless though those wishes may be. I am glad your doctor was firm with you, and I expect the literally gory details as soon as you are able.

Are they really going to crack your chest? ow.

I must tell you, however, that "Ambulance Driver™" is already taken, by the inimitable Kelly Grayson, paramedic at Podunk General Hospital, Nail Salon, Tire Repair and Crawfish Hut, somewhere in the wilds of Louisiana.

#660

Posted by: opheliagonemad Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:13 PM

Get well soon, PZ!

#661

Posted by: leo.oliveira Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:13 PM

Get well soon, PZ. We all need your black heart warm and pumping.

#662

Posted by: rowdy.phantom Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:14 PM

Hope you have a painless recovery. We need that black heart of yours functioning for a good long time.

#663

Posted by: GayHedBri Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:21 PM

Well, PZ,

We human beings, imperfect as we are, tend to need medical help from time to time.

I will pray that you and your healthcare workers get through this without any hitches.

Things happen for a reason.

Take better care of your heart when you get out of recovery.

Peace.

#664

Posted by: F Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:24 PM

Well, PZ, I may I suggest option 1, where they sort you out in the AM and then kick you out? Sounds a bit better than option 2. It certainly seems to be the more convenient way to go. ;)

#665

Posted by: residualecho Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:30 PM

Feel better more sooner faster.

#666

Posted by: EboTebo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:31 PM

Here's hoping the revascularization of thy pump goes well. The legs will be sore for a while but I know you will come through this with flyin' colours! And hospital food has been improving lately. I was in for a short time recently and received a new R. hip. I'm doing well, you will to. Cheers!

#667

Posted by: residualecho Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:32 PM

"Things happen for a reason."

But the reasons for which things happen should never be confused with teleology, which is nonsensical theology.

#668

Posted by: wmdkitty#83021 Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:36 PM

Best wishes to you, PZ, and lots of hope for a quick recovery.

#669

Posted by: Ragutis Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:37 PM

While they're in there, see if they can rig up an ink sac.

Strength to the TrophyWife™ and the kinder, and a rapid recovery to you, PZ.

#670

Posted by: Rincewind'smuse Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:48 PM

And so....anyone know the proper sacrifice to burn at the alter of Cthulhu? Fresh baby? Bacon? Tempura? Just in case I'm seduced by Pascal's wager in the next 24 hours.....

#671

Posted by: Sven DiMilo Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:55 PM

670 already?!

I sure hope he didn't tell Mary how to anastamose.

#672

Posted by: barfy Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 11:59 PM

To The Trophy Wife,
Often, in times of stress like this, your needs come second. Please know that it is obvious from PZ's postings that he would trade every accolade, accomplishment and shared beer for one heartfelt hug from you.
I've been married for 27 years, and feel truly privliged to have learned one thing - that everything I have ever accomplished that had meaning was because I felt loved and appreciated. In other words, it was something I could share.
You do that for PZ.
Thanks for sharing him with us.

PZ will do great. I know this not because I have some divine inspiration or hidden intuition, but because that's what the odds say. He's a great bet...just like he was the day you got married.

To PZ,
I'm sorry for flirting with the Trophy Wife. I know you've got enough to think about as it is. I look forward to reading about your progress. With my family history and my eating habits (Pop Tarts for dinner), I'm sure that CABG awaits. From a fellow Husky, Get Well!

#673

Posted by: R. Schauer Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:00 AM

Smoggy = priceless! Miss you much!

To others here: I'm delivering some flowers to PZ tomorrow a.m....if you'd like your name added to them -gratis- please write me at: procyon dot rick at gmail dot com ...leave me your name/handle from here and I'll add your name, too and make it happen. (I'm central daylight savings time and I'll be going around 9 a.m.)

PZ and Mary: obviously, much, much love from us all.

#674

Posted by: onkundig Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:01 AM

Foe somebody who is seeing off a loved one to hospital, you lot sure are the cheeriest, funniest, breeziest, bestest (and whole lot of other iests) lot. Damn. Glad to be part of the horde.

*Raises a toast to the Squidly Overlord*

May you live to be a cranky ooold bastard.

#675

Posted by: anumma.com Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:11 AM

Come on, P.Z. Everyone knows you've got the heart of a 19-year-old.

Granted, it's in a glass on your desk…

(Apologies to W.C. Fields, and best wishes to PZ and the TW.)

#676

Posted by: BDonovan Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:18 AM

Delurking to wish you a speedy recovery.

#677

Posted by: drtomaso Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:20 AM

Take care of yourself PZ- your services to science, reason and righteousness are needed for a few more decades, minimum.

#678

Posted by: Andromeda Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:26 AM

I hope you get well soon, PZ!
My dad had a triple bypass two years ago (got a lovely doctor) and he's fine under the eagle eyes of my mom and me...he loves food and tends to overeat, so there're constant tiffs when we try to make him limit his eating to reduce his waistline.
So PZ, make sure you don't trouble yer wife!

#679

Posted by: Carl Toribio Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:30 AM

Long time reader, 2nd time poster, wishing you the speediest of recoveries, and many more fruitful years in keeping up the fight for science and reason. Cheers!

#680

Posted by: ecpaulsen Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:33 AM

Wierd. A week ago my father had a pacemaker implanted and was told that he was lucky that he came in when he did. My aunt, three days later, went in for what she thought would be a stent and was booked into surgery for a triple bypass. Now you? It's enough to make me reconsider exercise and diet.

But you know, when Kurt Vonnegut died I just HAD to say "He's up in Heaven now" and then I laughed and laughed. So for you I have to say "You're in my prayers" and rest assured - I am laughing even as I type this.

In all seriousness though, good luck.

#681

Posted by: thatsjustwhatisaid Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:41 AM

Best wishes, PZ. It's not the surgery I'm worried about. They got that down. It's the post-operative dietary restrictions that are going to be hellish.

#682

Posted by: chigau (◦_◦) Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:16 AM

someone in Catch 22 said that if you're bored you live longer...
I wish PZ and all his family intense, mind-numbing tedium for many years.

#683

Posted by: blf Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:23 AM

Best wishes and all that.

#684

Posted by: cearbhaill Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:24 AM

Oh, crap... listen to the doctor, please. I would like to continue reading your blog for years to come.
By the way, I had emergency heart surgery in January after an aortic dissection, and I'm not very much younger than you, so just have confidence that the doctors know what they're doing, and be well.
Thinking of you,
Tim

#685

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:29 AM

At one time or another here on Pharyngula someone has jumped down another person's throat for saying that they wished or hoped or prayed or were sending good luck, so I guess all we're stuck with is:

Get better fucking soon, you poopy head.

#686

Posted by: SaintStephen Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:43 AM

See? Now if you hadn't gone and dissed Ray Kurzweil, he might have let you in on a few health secrets...

(Okay, so it was a cheap shot.)

Professor Myers, I wish you the swiftest of recoveries, and look forward to many more moons spent reading Pharyngula.

#687

Posted by: ShockedISaid Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:13 AM

Just add my voice to the many wishing you a speedy and complete recovery.

BTW, who will be making the sexy music video, "F*ck Me, PZ"?

#688

Posted by: MrFire Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:31 AM

...Shit!

Well, as 700 comments have said before me: Very Best Wishes, PZ.

#689

Posted by: ShockedISaid Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:38 AM

I see Blondin @ 484 beat me to the video comment.

#690

Posted by: Shamar Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:41 AM

When I saw a facebook comment from a friend, for PZ Myers to "get well soon" I was definitely startled. I'm glad they're taking care of you though, and get well soon :-)

#691

Posted by: Brainy Jello Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:41 AM

I rarely comment but regularly read. Couldn't resist adding my well wishes for you, PZ. Good thing Mr. Deity has your back, right?

#692

Posted by: Diane G. Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:50 AM

+ 692 (approximately)

Latest word: I failed my blood test. Not enough potassium, they said.

Jeez...and after all the time God spent designing those bananas just for us.

To heck with all those selfless take-your-timers...get back soon or I'm gonna be on life support!

Best wishes to you & all your family, especially the Mistress of Mercy. And here's rootin' for the stent!

#693

Posted by: sjefskjekkasen Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:58 AM

Wish you the very best and a quick recovery, my best PZ.

Try to get one of those mechanical hearts that last for hundreds of years (they do don't they?).

Maybe the latest versions come with extras like remote controlled booster or something. You could fast forward through future flu's and such :)

#694

Posted by: englishbobster Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 3:08 AM

Good luck and get well soon PZ. Lots of hugs!

#695

Posted by: MomFood Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 3:35 AM

Be well soon! Thanks for the update and the laughs. So glad for modern medicine.

#696

Posted by: Thomas Theobald Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 3:44 AM

Good narrative, very good )

Best of luck, hope they open up some space. Watch out for the orderlies, they might try to sneak you some narcos and get you to pen a "deathbed confession" ).

T

#697

Posted by: Doktor Zoom Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 3:55 AM

I was listening to a lot George Carlin with my kiddo tonight, so I hope you won't mind if I pray to Joe Pesci for you. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around.

#698

Posted by: Conan the Librarian Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 3:57 AM

Take good care of yourself Poopyhead, and make sure you take enough time to get well.

The world needs your brand of sanity.

#699

Posted by: mikee Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 4:00 AM

Wishing you a quick recovery, PZ. Make sure you rest as long as the doctors advise. We want you for the long run. In the meantime you have trained your pharyngula disciples well to deal with woo-meisters in any necessitated absence of yours.
Just let us know if any one suggesting healing hands or religious conversion gets anywhere near you and I'm sure "we" can dispatch a lynching party forthwith.

#700

Posted by: rutty Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 4:11 AM

Death sucks. It's so final and all that. Don't do that. Get better instead :)

#701

Posted by: THEHARMONIKZ Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 4:19 AM

May you have the sexiest nurses with the shortest skirts-always good to keep it throbing.

#702

Posted by: ed hardy jeans Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 4:25 AM

I will stil write about science here, but more about the conduct of science. My plan for the other blog is to write about specific advances in physiology.

#703

Posted by: DeeJayVee Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 4:25 AM

Take care, mate.

#704

Posted by: thesnoringlabrador Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 4:29 AM

Another lurker surfacing to wish you a speedy recovery and as little pain and discomfort as possible in the meantime.

This blog has converted me into believing that biology is awesome.

#705

Posted by: Arancaytar Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 4:42 AM

Ouch, that is scary. Good thing you had an early warning. I hope they fix you up well.

#706

Posted by: AJS Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 4:44 AM

So, yeah, there's not much I can do directly for PZ, but this is as good an excuse as any to remind people that a single pint of blood makes more difference than a million prayers.
So you're saying one prayer is equivalent to at most 568 nanolitres of blood?
#707

Posted by: Doxie Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 4:56 AM

UK reader delurking to wish you well. May your treatment go well and may you soon be your fabulously strident self again!

#708

Posted by: cedgray Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 5:14 AM

The very best of luck to you from your UK fans. Science has delivered some remarkable expertise into the hands of your physicians. Let's hope they can apply it to your body too.

At least you don't have to rely on Kurzweilian technology to upload yourself...

#709

Posted by: SQB (fuck death) Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 5:19 AM

PZ, I wish you a skilled surgeon, a successful operation and a swift recovery. My best wishes for you and your family.

#710

Posted by: Infinite Human Stupidity Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 5:35 AM

Hang in there and get well soon PZ!

Good thing science has progressed as far as it has and is giving you the chance to address your illness.

Sadly enough, some still seek to hinder it, as today's bad news on federal funding of stem cell research shows.

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/US/08/23/stem.cell.funding/index.html#fbid=TuoZcYcKG9H&wom=false

#711

Posted by: Trance Gemini Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 6:00 AM

Best of luck PZ and hope to see back and kicking real soon.

#712

Posted by: beep Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 6:07 AM

I've been sick my whole life. I've beaten the odds over and over as far as surviving, but my quality of life has been full of those challenges that are supposed to give us character. I have enough character. I wish I could bottle it and sell it and stop worrying about the cost of health care. The point is that I've had a high-stress life which has brought on more illness. For decades now. And I'm STILL not dead.

Anyway, some of the notches on my disease belt are lupus, liver disease, heart disease, diabetes, and now cancer. I feel like I'm watching a bunch of fast moving linear objects racing towards a target. Which one will get there first? How will I really go ungracefully into that good night? Which one would you bet on? I started life in Vegas and I truly believe I should be collecting money on the betting so that my survivors (whenever it is I finally so kick the bucket) will have something to bury me with.

I've been appreciative always of the joys I've had in life but I would not wish serious illness on anyone. Not my worst enemy, not even the kind of person who gives me the nails-on-the-chalkboard feeling.

PZ, I encountered you some time ago but I remember you had a career you loved and were good at plus a wonderful family. Now you have a passionate cause as well. Talk about strong motivations to live. That can MAKE you live.

I hope you get to be around a long long time to enjoy these things. I've seen a doc or two who predicted my imminent demise pass on before me and I hope if you are given bad odds by docs you say "pffft." There is the collective and then there is the individual. Be the individual.

I'm told the best in the nation for heart is the Cleveland Clinic. I'm sure you've looked up the best and the second best. But if you can't get the real dope then contact me. Been in the patient biz a long time; hear the word on the street pretty often. Get a collection of consultations from the very top docs. Ignore the money aspect; you can't take it with you and a lot of times there are ways to get help for medical in cases like yours. Get the best cardiologist you can. I'd recommend mine but you don't live here.

I'll pray for ya. Just to piss you off ;) I've got the time.

Sending you all I have, which is my fighting spirit. Go for it. Win this one.

#713

Posted by: btj Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 6:21 AM

Terribly sorry to hear this, but I'm glad the doctors caught it before you had a heart attack. I prayed to the FSM and he assured me that everything will be fine. Get well soon!

#714

Posted by: wsa Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 6:21 AM

Best Wishes PZ!! Auguri di pronta guarigione!

#715

Posted by: gigi Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 6:23 AM

Best wishes for a speedy recovery, PZed.

#716

Posted by: orsakverkan Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 6:43 AM

Good luck PZ!

#717

Posted by: darvolution proponentsist Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 6:58 AM

Heart trouble ? This is unacceptable.

I think it's come to your attention that you are relevant to our interests and we won't be having any of this.

Now STFU and do what you are told by the specialists, and the TrophyWife™ of course. Oh wait .. you already are ? .. never mind then ..

.. we'll be right here when you get back PZ. Get well soon.


I heard Ray Comfort's brain scan came back negative.

... and somewhere out in the wilds, a banana weeps.

#718

Posted by: pacs Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 7:02 AM

Get well soon.

#719

Posted by: Iain Walker Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 7:08 AM

Yes, get fixed, get better, come back.

#720

Posted by: Eric A Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 7:09 AM

Cyg #646, you're wrong : http://health.usnews.com/best-hospitals/mayo-clinic-5000000/rankings

Mayo ranked #2 in cardiac surgery. And yes, Rochester is a conservative town, and as liberal as I am, I can honestly say that has no real bearing on surgeon's ability.

And yes, Abbott is #39, so I'm sure they're great, and PZ will be fine, but don't make statements about healthcare facilities that really don't make sense.

#721

Posted by: bigdavesb Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 7:22 AM

Get well soon PZ! I've set up this page so that people can wish you well and fight heart disease all at the same time http://www.justgiving.com/notpraying (it's using the same service as was used in the beard debate)

As was also suggested, you donate directly to the Cardiovascular Research/Heart Disease Services of Abbot Northwestern Hospital, where PZ is currently incarcerated.

#722

Posted by: bbreuer Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 7:37 AM

No prayers here, but well-wishes and hope that you'll be hale and hearty for a long future. As one says in German, for more serious things than sneezes, too: Gesundheit!

#723

Posted by: cpmondello Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 7:41 AM

GOOD LUCK. My advice; get out of the hospital as soon as possible !!!!

#724

Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawknom1_4BJ2nm7oTK09tbTr8aUjPQX1_jA Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 7:47 AM

All my best wishes for a speedy recovery. Hopefully the good drugs will cancel out the taste of the bad food. ^_^

#725

Posted by: MsAnnThrope Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 8:11 AM

My thoughts are with you and your family PZ, good luck.
ps. will squish my cat for you, he is 10000x more efficient at making you feel good than prayer, I promise.

#726

Posted by: telamonides Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 8:14 AM

Get healthy as soon as possible.

#727

Posted by: bastion of sass Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 8:19 AM

I hope you have outstanding medical care, and that you recover quickly.

If it makes you feel any better, I definitely will not pray for you.

#728

Posted by: Betelgeuse Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 8:30 AM

Much much luck PZ. Get better soon and get right back!

#729

Posted by: eviltwit Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 9:03 AM

I will NOT be praying for you, but, alternatively keeping you in my thoughts. PLEASE be back soon - I can only go so long without the sanity provided by your blog:)

#730

Posted by: Tabby Lavalamp Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 9:03 AM

Just want to add my best wishes for a speedy recovery, Professor Doctor Myers.

#731

Posted by: a2boy1der Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 9:05 AM

Late to the thread, but still offered with greatest sincerity: take care and be well. As you can tell, many of us here have come to value both your contributions to the heathen cause, and your personal presence as well. Best wishes for a healthy recovery! - Steve in MI

#732

Posted by: Cosmic Teapot Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 9:10 AM

All the best. Looking forward to you being your usual, cranky self.

#733

Posted by: jennyaxe Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 9:13 AM

Good luck, I hope medical science will do its usual non-miraculous work and you'll get well soon!

#734

Posted by: Haakon Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 9:14 AM

Best of luck PZ, hope you get some competent doctors!

#735

Posted by: Todd Stiefel Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 9:18 AM

Good luck, PZ. Fortunately, the power of medical science is on your side.

#736

Posted by: skmarshall Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 9:22 AM

get well soon!

#737

Posted by: MichaelTAtheist Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 9:57 AM

I'm DEVASTATED............ First Christopher Hitchens & now You? I feel like it's the end of the big game, and all the 'bright lights' are being shut off! Best wishes to both of you. I won't say a prayer, but you'll be in my thoughts

#738

Posted by: KingUber Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:01 AM

Sorry to hear that

#739

Posted by: scalpel62 Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:04 AM

Best of luck, PZ.

#740

Posted by: Ewan R Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:06 AM

Good luck PZ - looking forward to pics of you drooling post op (another use for a beard - drooling is a lot less obvious) - post op pain meds are your friend, not only do they take away the pain, but they provide ample opportunity for goofy pics and stories later.

#741

Posted by: Maryn McKenna Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:12 AM

Warmest wishes from your ex-Scibling. I'm in the TC, so have MistressofMercy be in touch if you need anything.

#742

Posted by: tonyelewis Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:15 AM

Warm wishes of wellness to you.

#743

Posted by: Nightfall Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:21 AM

Add one more to the chorus wishing you well and a speedy recovery.

#744

Posted by: Murphy Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:22 AM

Best wishes for a speedy recovery PZ.

#745

Posted by: pmcarlton Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:25 AM

Get well soon! And what better way to convalesce than blogging?

#746

Posted by: bragimikey Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:27 AM

Late to the party I know, but get well soon PZ.

#747

Posted by: happysam Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:30 AM

*de-lurks*
Goddammit PZ! How am I going to survive the first days of school without you and your snarky cynicism?!
How selfish of you...
In all seriousness, get better. And soon.

#748

Posted by: chigh Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:31 AM

Speedy recovery!!

#749

Posted by: The Countess Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 11:02 AM

"We just got the results of your tests from last week. Your heart is a shriveled black lump starved of charity, decency, charm, and kindness," she said, "a gristly godless clot of marginally functional fibers. You need to go back to Abbott for more tests, and the doctors want to crack your chest and marvel at you."

LOL, glad to see you're in such good spirits. Do I have to send you a care package of fat-laden foods bad for your shriveled up old pump? :)

Get better soon, PZ. Think of kittens. :D

#750

Posted by: erasmus Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 11:07 AM

Best wishes for speedy recovery and quick return to your family and fans.

#751

Posted by: Bob Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 11:18 AM

Priceless description of the call, PZ. Looking forward to seeing you back in the saddle; you're my favourite Grinch. The world is better with you in it.

#752

Posted by: thomas.c.galvin Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 11:20 AM

Best of luck PZ.

#753

Posted by: adrienne.asselmeier Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 11:41 AM

May the sauce be with you. Get well! Ramen.

#754

Posted by: Franklin Percival Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:27 PM

Now, if you only incined your heart unto Jesus, your probelms would be over! Stay well young man. In the mean-time you will just have to let TW look after you until you are totally shriven.

I wish you all the very best.

#755

Posted by: MaxH Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:38 PM

Welllllll, I know you don't want it, but I'll do it anyway.

Positive thoughts and prayers for your speedy recovery, PZ.

(One would hope I was being selfless in the prayer, but I'm really not - I love your irreverent commentary way too much to not pull out all the stops to prevent it from ending).

#756

Posted by: «bønez_brigade» Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:49 PM

No good is this news.
With haste, remedy thyself.
Or that's it, PZ.

#757

Posted by: R. Schauer Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:52 PM

News Flash
Just visited the Squid Master for a few moments in his deluxe suite at Abbott. He's resting well with a new stent...and by the looks of him, is enjoying some great and wonderful drugs. He said he will be headed home tomorrow!

Those who emailed me are on the card and the flowers were nice. Thanks all! -R

#758

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 12:58 PM

R. Schauer, thank you for the update, and thanks for the flower delivery!

#759

Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:01 PM

damn, missed out on the whole card flower thing

#760

Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:06 PM

Great news that all PZ needed was a stent. Thanks R. Schauer. Your efforts are appreciated by the rabble.

#761

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:08 PM

Missed out on the card, but no matter. Thanks for the update!

#762

Posted by: bigdavesb Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:10 PM

Alas, I missed out on the card too.

Thanks for the update R. Schauer.

#763

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:13 PM

Also sad to have missed the flowers and card, and also glad of the update. Thanks, R.Schauer.

#764

Posted by: R. Schauer Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:13 PM

Your welcome, Caine. My pleasure.

Rev., first, damn assumes hell...let's not go there. -lol- Second, Rev., you and the rest of the horde here may take comfort in knowing that the card said, "From Us All" in big letters on the front of it.

#765

Posted by: roberts.noah Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:15 PM

I'll sacrifice a black goat to Marduk for you.

Unfortunately, black goats are sometimes hard to find so if I can't get one I'll just buy a white one and paint it black. You think Marduk will notice the difference?

#766

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:21 PM

Great news!

roberts.noah (@766):

"I see a white goat,
"And I want to paint it black..."

;^)

#767

Posted by: Dude... Real Men Watch Ponies! Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:26 PM

A token sacrifice of 100 elves had been made to Armok, the blood god, as thanks for your recovery.

#768

Posted by: Michelle R Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:33 PM

No prayers from me either, but I'll have a greasy Krispy Kreme for your sake.

Don't wanna clog that thing any further, right?!

#769

Posted by: InfraredEyes Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:38 PM

Excellent news!

#770

Posted by: derelicthat Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:53 PM

Don't let your students discover that you have a heart, they'll only try to take advantage. Or if they do find out, tell them the doctors replaced it with a lump of coal.

Do try to find some luxury during your down-time.

#771

Posted by: Ray Moscow Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 1:57 PM

Thanks for the update, R. Schauer!

Good news, indeed.

#772

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:03 PM

Thanks Schauer!

How terrific that all PZ had to go through was a stent procedure. The whole family must be doing a happy dance and breathing a sigh of relief.

#773

Posted by: lila.harper Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:03 PM

Art alerted me to the blog posting.

Best of luck Paul--And Mary, hang in there. I know you have worried for many years about Paul's health.

Lila Harper

#774

Posted by: agersomnia Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:08 PM

PZ!

Please, get well.

Just take care of yourself, and let the good folks 'round you that are trying to keep you alive and in modest good health do their job.

#775

Posted by: Cyg Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:09 PM

Eric A #721. I was merely expressing the opinion of the Abbott cardiac intensive care nursing staff, as represented by one of its former nurses, that they are better than Mayo.

As recently as 2007, Abbott bragged they were one of only 17 hospitals in the country (out of 4,400 surveyed) to have a 30-day heart attack treatment mortality rate that was better than the national average.

http://www.abbottnorthwestern.com/ahs/anw.nsf/page/ANWFall07.pdf/$FILE/ANWFall07.pdf

Abbott was the only hospital in Minnesota ranked better than average. Mayo is a hospital in Minnesota.

As for your US News rankings, they are not based on outcome of care alone. Subjective impressions weigh heavily in their rankings. Thus, Mayo's deservedly great overall reputation bumps it higher on such a scale.

My own theory is that one especially attractive Abbott nurse got ailing hearts-a-pumpin' on a regular basis, yielding statistically significant health benefits throughout the ward. Then she moved to California to be my wife. Can't vouch for the place now, I guess.

#776

Posted by: Thomas Joseph Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:10 PM

Here's to things going well for you.

#777

Posted by: Muskiet Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:19 PM

Hope you'll be healthy soon to enjoy life some more (and the TrophyWife™).

#778

Posted by: tbentleydavis Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 2:21 PM

Been there, done that with the husband 12 years ago when he was 53. They told him the same thing, that he would die soon without care. You're doing the right, best thing PZ. Best of luck and well wishes. No praying here either.

TinaMarie in Houston

#779

Posted by: TrineBM Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 3:28 PM

good news! Now for a quick and total recovery.
Give some of the flowers to Mary!

#780

Posted by: RBH Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 3:42 PM

Only one stent? Sheesh! Five years ago I got one of those ultimatums from a Doc who said (and this is a direct quote) "We're not going to do it before the sun sets today, but we're surely going to do it before the sun sets a week from today." They put in three stents. One stent is nothing. :)

On the other hand, it's never a good time. BE well, PZ.

#781

Posted by: Qwerty Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 3:43 PM

I just got a stent after a recent heart attack. Get ready to take a lot of pills for the rest of yuur life.

I now have to avoid salt and fat which means I can only comtemplate the taste of bacon. (Although I may have the occasional slice.)

Wahhhhh! I'll let the Rev. BDC eat bacon for me.

Get well soon. I am sure the TrophyWife will be cooking heart healthy means in no time.

#782

Posted by: Qwerty Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 3:46 PM

That should read "heart healthy meals."

#783

Posted by: pacs Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 3:47 PM

Get well soon.

#784

Posted by: woodsong Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 3:57 PM

PZ:

Good luck, may your recovery be both swift and complete. The husbeast and I will be thinking of you. I'm glad to hear that you'll be home tomorrow!

Take care of yourself, and tell the MistressOfMercy™ to spend at least some time taking care of herself, as well as you. I hope all goes well for both of you.

#785

Posted by: Lyra Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 4:18 PM

I hope everything is going as well as possible for both you and the Trophy Wife™. I'm an atheist, so I wouldn't pray for you even if you asked (it's always awkward when people ask me to pray for them) but nevertheless I had a desire to do something nice in response to this. I thought about donating some money to a worthy cause, but my current broke-student status means I don't have money to give to any cause. So, I hopped over to http://www.freerice.com/ and have been poking at it every time I think about you. Over 1000 grains of rice so far. Maybe some other broke students would like to assist me in raising rice in PZ's name?

#786

Posted by: blackjeezus Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 5:03 PM

I shall officially discount any rumors of your "death bed conversion" to Christianity-slash-Islam-slash-Mormonism-slash-Zoroastrianism until you make a full recovery.

But what I will do is pray that the Flying Spaghetti Monster guides the hands of your surgeons with his holy appendages of pasta. That way, if you pull through, we have proof that it was FSM (and definitely not the surgeon's years of medical training) that made you better.

#787

Posted by: TJ Hanlon Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 5:04 PM

Best wishes. Feel better.

#788

Posted by: Rorschach Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 5:25 PM

That's it, a stent ? You put us through all this for a stent ?
Well, great news PZ, glad you got away with that one ! Don't want to be cutting yourself at shaving or hit your head for a while, with all those antiplatelets on board !

#789

Posted by: Russell Miller Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 5:27 PM

Some people find experiences such as this to be life changing. Without any bias as to which path it leads you on, I do hope that this will prove to be life changing for you as well, in a positive direction. I am not religious, but neither am I atheist, and sometimes I shake my head at what you write because to me it's somewhat wrongheaded. However, we are all humans and we are all in this together. Get well and continue jabbing barbs in those who need it. Good luck.

I don't pray, but I may include you in my meditations.

#790

Posted by: Marcus Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 5:36 PM

Come back to us stronger than ever, PZ. The world desperately needs your brand of sanity.

#791

Posted by: ergaster Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 5:46 PM

Long time lurking reader and admirer wants you back on your feet asap.

#792

Posted by: drsmurph Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 5:48 PM

late to the thread here but I will add my best wishes and thoughts for a speedy and great recovery

#793

Posted by: jcbelfast Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 5:57 PM

I normally just lurk in the background as I seem to generally agree with the godless folk who post comments here, but thought it'd be nice to tell you a little about my own weedy heart. I was blacking out for about five years before they found out what was wrong, and it was treated successfully with a pacemaker, which gave me a cool scar to go with all those ones on my noggin. The whole experience got me studying science again, and I started to read more factual books and less fiction, and eventually picked up a Dawkins book, which cemented my atheism. Reminds me of the Simpsons episode in which Lisa explains to Homer that the Japanese have the same word for crisis as they do for opportunity, and Homer replies, "Crisitunity?!"
All the best PZ, and thanks for the free education. Enjoy the drugs!

#794

Posted by: Tulse Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 6:35 PM

Praise Cthulhu that all is well! I guess those babies I sacrificed really did the trick.

Get well soon, PZ!

#795

Posted by: Tigger_the_Wing Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 6:44 PM

Yay! A stent! Great news, thanks for the update R. Schauer, and for delivering the card and flowers. That was very kind and thoughtful of you.

Last night, I read an e-mail from my USAian sister which had me firing off a a snarky response. Like me, she's been diagnosed with high cholesterol. Unlike me her doc didn't put her on statins. Oh no.

Sis: "My doctor put me on homeopathic medicine & I just got my bloodwork done to see if it's had any effect, but don't get the results until I visit my doctor in early September".

Me: "Your doctor put you on homeopathic 'medicine'?! Really?!! I should sack her at once!

How DARE she risk my sister's health with expensive water instead of medicine!

Grrrr!!!! Now, THAT puts my blood pressure up!

If your cholesterol is high, you need statins, not mumbo-jumbo. Homeopathy does not work as anything other than a placebo. It has not (and cannot have) any chemical effect. Since placebo is only effective in situations where the outcome is subjective (e.g. perception of pain or mood) or the condition is self-limiting (like viral infections) it can't influence your cholesterol levels.

If your doctor also suggested a change of diet (eating or avoiding certain foods can help lower cholesterol) then, if your blood work shows an improvement, you can be sure that the diet is what did it, not the waste of money that is homeopathy."

#796

Posted by: sqmdqm Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 7:38 PM

Dear PZ,

Considering the glee with which you desecrate our eucharist it seems only fair that us Catholics should take some joy in tweaking you by praying for you, but our joy in doing it will not come from whatever annoyance it causes you. Please, don't tell me not to, it is already done, for you and the esteemed "trophy wife."

Hope you recover easily and speedily.

David

#797

Posted by: xunatz Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 7:46 PM

PZ, not sure if you read all of the comments, but I'm really hoping for a good prognosis. As you well know, Doctors can do incredible things with peoples sick hearts and your in my thoughts.

Take care and rest easy.

#798

Posted by: lose_the_woo Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 7:50 PM

Dear PZ,

Considering your weakened condition I'll take it upon myself to cancel out #797 sqmdqm's prayer and offer up an Abyssinian death chant asking for your demise.

I hope you recover easily and speedily.

Me.

#799

Posted by: Gyatso Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 8:05 PM

Wow. I'm glad they caught it sooner rather than later. I hope your recovery is speedy and that your family is well. And fer chrissake, lay off the bacon, huh?

#800

Posted by: Philip Legge Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 9:27 PM

Dear PZ,

best wishes for your recovery, and take it easy! I’m sure giving thanks to your medical team for some timely intervention is no doubt redundant, but it sounds like they’ve done a wonderful job and deserve thanks for it (even if medicos like Rorschack refer to some heart procedures nowadays as being routine!).

Best, PMaL

#801

Posted by: Usagichan Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 9:57 PM

PZ, no prayers from me. Just trust your medical team is amongst the best.

Hope all turns out well with the shriveled black atheist heart (or perhaps we Atheists just have mechanical pumps where the xtians have repositories for faith and compassion).

#802

Posted by: urodovic Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:07 PM

PZ get well soon!!

#803

Posted by: Crudely Wrott , Drinking Solo Since Death's Back On The Wagon Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 10:25 PM

I echo all of the sentiment above and hope you have a speedy turnaround and return to us all with renewed vigor.

#804

Posted by: Chris Booth Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 11:07 PM

Much love, respect, admiration, and appreciation, PZ. Yours is the one blog I read every day.

You are in my thoughts.

#805

Posted by: Shiloh Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 11:18 PM

PZ,hope you have a speedy recovery. Sounds like it is time to quit the cigars, booze and wild women, and take better care of your body. Good thing this didn't happen a couple centuries ago or all they would be able to do for you is say prayers, and we know how effective they are. BTW, I will say a prayer for you. Just kidding. :-) Get well soon.

#806

Posted by: titmouse Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 11:22 PM

Oh PZ,

I'm gonna worry about you, cuz that's what I do.

Mr. Titmouse won't, but he'll be deeply pleased when this is over and you're out of danger.

You're one of the good ones, PZed.

#807

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi Author Profile Page | August 24, 2010 11:30 PM

If you're late to the thread, read R. Schauer's post at #758 for a PZ update.

I was going to write this in comic sans for impact instead of the bold text, but I figured PZ wouldn't be able to take it after all the kerfuffle of the last couple of days.

#808

Posted by: realinterrobang Author Profile Page | August 25, 2010 12:19 AM

Boy, I ignore the blogs for a few days because I'm fretting about my (tiny little) surgery, and all metaphorical hell breaks loose! Best wishes from your London, ON fan club including my friend who thinks you're just as cute as a little bug's ear. Get well soon, and just remember, as my father told me, if there's any place you want to be if and when you have a cardiac arrest, it's in a room full of cardiologists...

#809

Posted by: sirfab Author Profile Page | August 25, 2010 12:22 AM

You'll be back better and feistier than ever in no time, I trust. Get well!

#810

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe Author Profile Page | August 25, 2010 12:26 AM

PZ has posted at Butterflies and Wheels, he had 5 stents installed.

#811

Posted by: Kirk Author Profile Page | August 25, 2010 5:36 AM

PZ, best wishes for a full recovery.

#812

Posted by: Q.E.D Author Profile Page | August 25, 2010 5:54 AM


PZ, I wish you a speedy and full recovery and to be eaten first when Cthulhu wakes.

#813

Posted by: plien Author Profile Page | August 25, 2010 8:34 AM

I wish to thank Lyra (Philip Pullman fan?) for the wonderfull idea and the link to http://www.freerice.com/

I've been playing for a while now, hope it helps.
And i wish to add to all your wellwishers in hoping for a speedy recovery.

#814

Posted by: Bjarne Author Profile Page | August 25, 2010 8:54 AM

Get well soon, Professor Myers, so you can give a talk in Western Germany in the not too far future :D

#815

Posted by: monado Author Profile Page | August 25, 2010 12:35 PM

Is there someone who can chauffeur the relieved couple back to Morris so they don't have to celebrate and drive at the same time? Or is this an ambulance transport occasion?

One of our standard procedures for family emergencies is to get someone less involved than a worried spouse, child, or parent of the central figure to drive.

#816

Posted by: Jennifer Author Profile Page | August 25, 2010 1:57 PM

Here's hoping everything goes well and that your recovery is as pain free and fast as possible.

#817

Posted by: beth.lehman Author Profile Page | August 25, 2010 2:05 PM

I'm late here, but I still wanted to tell you that I hope you recover quickly!

#818

Posted by: rynilss Author Profile Page | August 25, 2010 3:01 PM

Also late, sorry.

Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM Author Profile Page | August 23, 2010 9:11 PM

They'd probably have to pop open my chest to stuff a soybean in there in the hopes that it would evolve into a heart in time to keep me alive.

Soybean? I thought it was a sugar beet. Or rutabaga.

I meant to make a similar joke along the lines of, No, that's a swede don't you know? Or maybe, No, clearly an artichoke is the homœopathic cure of choice, what with the choking arteriæ? But alas, I was late.

Fortunately however, PZ was not too late, much thanks to his heeding the early warning and getting under proper care.

Now, PZ, please take the long perspective and see to it you get well. Take care of TW and family but not least yourself -- then authorship, blogging, career, [drat, what begins with D here?] evolution, family, geekdom, hellraising, iconoclasm, jocularity, etc.

Anyway, it is "heartening" to hear all is well so far. Keep it that way, on that tack. Tack.

#819

Posted by: maddawgg Author Profile Page | August 30, 2010 12:07 AM

PZ, first of all you have to set some ground rules for your treatment. Insist on a demerol injection every half hour and you will be blissfully oblivious to whatever they do to you and when you come around you'll want to do it again! Good on ya for heeding the Doc's warning and hope to see you back at work soon!

#820

Posted by: remediesforanxiety Author Profile Page | July 23, 2011 9:50 PM

Hope all went well! I understand panic and anxiety can cause heart problems...

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