…and this is a 
A few years ago, a group of people dressed up as zombies for a protest march and got arrested for it.
When arrested at the intersection of Hennepin Avenue and 6th Street N., most of them had thick white powder and fake blood on their faces and dark makeup around their eyes. They were walking in a stiff, lurching fashion and carrying four bags of sound equipment to amplify music from an iPod when they were arrested by police who said they were carrying equipment that simulated "weapons of mass destruction."
I know. We're all on edge with the imminent threat of the zombie apocalypse, and it's perhaps understandable that a police force under constant siege by the undead might be a little overzealous at the sight of live people simulating zombiehood, but still…we have laws, and the police should abide by them. Minnesota courts agree, and the seven fake zombies have been awarded $165,000 for their unjustifiable arrest.
Now, on to the pressing and important questions: are the police required to read their Miranda rights to real zombies before shooting them in the head?
I also wonder what sociological consequences this will have. Will our streets soon be full of lurching, reeking, groaning corpses? Southern California gets panhandlers, and wouldn't you know it, Minnesota gets zombies.
Comments
Posted by: Zeno
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August 23, 2010 9:05 AM
I'm confused. You mean that Minnesota teabaggers are holding demonstrations all over the state? Will Bachmann-induced brain destruction spread? (One hopes not.)
Posted by: stonedone
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August 23, 2010 9:06 AM
Oh noes! It's spread from Minneapolis to Rochester!
http://www.postbulletin.com/newsmanager/templates/localnews_story.asp?z=35&a=466127
Though considering the quality of movies these days.... Ba-dum-dum!
Posted by: mattand08
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August 23, 2010 9:13 AM
Two days in jail for dressing like zombies? Really???
I don't get Minnesota sometimes. You guys gave us Mystery Science Theater 3000, Al Franken, and Pharyngula. Yet you have Bachmann, Pawlenty, and police who think "Night of the Living Dead" is a documentary. Quite the contrast!
Translation: "If this goes to trial, we're fucked due to the blatant violation of civil rights."
Posted by: Equisetum
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August 23, 2010 9:15 AM
Yes, if 'reason' is defined as 'stupid.'
Posted by: Dr. I. Needtob Athe
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August 23, 2010 9:20 AM
"I also wonder what sociological consequences this will have."
Seriously, it might help pave the way for more serious demonstrations such as gay rights marches.
Posted by: Blondin
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August 23, 2010 9:24 AM
Well actually...
According to this bastion of logic and reason the authorities should realize that a silly little zombie infestation is no cause for panic.
Posted by: Moira Manion
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August 23, 2010 9:25 AM
Shoot, I see zombies in downtown Minneapolis five days a week, packed on the trains, buses and crosswalks between 7-9 AM and 4-6 PM, carrying briefcases and wearing high heels.
Don't even try to get a seat in The Local after 5 PM. It's crammed with zombies.
Posted by: Moggie
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August 23, 2010 9:30 AM
Land of the free and home of the brave?
Posted by: Moira Manion
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August 23, 2010 9:38 AM
Dr. I. Needtob Athe @#5
Oh honey, you do not know Minneapolis! You should have seen the response just to some sorry-butt neo-Nazis who tried to organize a march here. 4 of them showed up, 400 of us were there to meet them. Come to Pride here.
Not to say we couldn't use more marches, especially with Tom "You Can Run But You Can't Hide" Emmer trying to become governor. Check out Tom Emmer's Minnesota http://www.tomemmersmn.org/
Posted by: nigelTheBold, Minister of Spankings
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August 23, 2010 9:40 AM
"Ver are your pay-pers?"
Exactly.
Or perhaps more like: "Land of the scared, home of the cowed."
Posted by: daveau
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August 23, 2010 9:45 AM
Simulated WMDs? Why not arrest every kid with a backpack? Criminitly.
Posted by: christophe-thill.myopenid.com
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August 23, 2010 9:47 AM
So the guys get damages (goot) out of the taxpayers' pockets because the police acted stupid (not good) ?
7 times 165,000 is no small sum. Shouldn't the culprits (ie the police) be made to feel responsible for their acts? I suggest that everytime this kind of thing happens, the police budget should get a cut. That'll teach them.
Posted by: HappyHax0r
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August 23, 2010 9:48 AM
Personally, I'm just more interested in finding out where one goes to get arrested for something so innocuous.
I could use a $23571.42 and a couple days in a county jail seems like a small price to pay for it :).
10 days in the poke would equal a respectable yearly salary!
Posted by: Rutee, Shrieking Harpy of Dooooom
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August 23, 2010 9:50 AM
Hah! I had to write a similar list out myself after reading The Zombie Survival Handbook. I'm a great big baby when it comes to horror movie stuff, so that book actually scared the hell out of me even knowing it was physically impossible in every way.Posted by: Kieranfoy, Faerie Godfather of Death, GMKSC, OED
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August 23, 2010 9:50 AM
@Moria Manion: Not understanding your post. You comparing gays to neo-Nazis, or am I just in need of more caffiene?
Posted by: Birger Johansson
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August 23, 2010 9:58 AM
What about other critters? Would it be unconstitutional to hold a suspected vampire until sunrise? I mean, if the prisonaer goes up in flames, he will have no chance at a fair trial. Would it be legal for the police to confiscate the "chem" from Golem held in custody, if they are destroyed in the process?
Posted by: john.s.wilkins
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August 23, 2010 10:07 AM
The police need more "Braaiins!!"
Posted by: nigelTheBold, Minister of Spankings
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August 23, 2010 10:07 AM
"Mister, if you got a cockatrice in your pocket, I'm gonna have to take you in."
Posted by: Techskeptic
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August 23, 2010 10:09 AM
More police acting "reasonably"
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/20/family-on-camping-outing-_n_689314.html
(not a huffpo reader, this was just linked to me)
Maybe there were vampires in this van.
Posted by: dorght
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August 23, 2010 10:12 AM
First we feast, then IKEA! First we feast, then IKEA! First we feast, then IKEA!
Brains! Brains!
Drats only Minneapolis police, no feasting.
Posted by: James F
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August 23, 2010 10:20 AM
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise
If you open up the door
We'll all come inside and eat your brains
Posted by: llewelly
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August 23, 2010 10:25 AM
HappyHax0r | August 23, 2010 9:48 AM:
In the real world, your lawyer gets a respectable salary for the time required to get you out of jail, have you found innocent, and sue the state. Probably about two years of very hard work on the lawyer's part, I would guess. What you get is barely enough to cover your costs of not working during the time you spent dealing with this bullshit. The delusion that winning a lawsuit is like winning a lottery needs to burned at the stake.
Posted by: Chemgirl
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August 23, 2010 10:26 AM
Out of curiosity...anyone know what those zombies were protesting?
Posted by: Ken
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August 23, 2010 10:32 AM
OK, I'm missing something.
The artists dressed as mindless zombies were protesting consumerism, but what were the mindless zombies dressed as cops protesting?
Posted by: raven
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August 23, 2010 10:43 AM
Y'all are missing the point. If we don't stop the zombies in Minneapolis now, we will be fighting them on the coasts later.
Next thing you know, they will want to build a crypt or chapel or wherever zombies go on Sunday at Ground Zero.
Posted by: sultmhoor.myopenid.com
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August 23, 2010 10:50 AM
$165,000 minus lawyer fees, of course :P
Posted by: Stushie
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August 23, 2010 10:54 AM
I thought zombies already had their own place of worship in Minnesota. Isn't it called the Mall of America?
Posted by: mkremer.ys
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August 23, 2010 11:10 AM
We had zombies in Yellow Springs, OH... and protesters of zombies. I thought it was just the weird little town I live in. Evidence would suggest an epidemic.
Posted by: rident
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August 23, 2010 11:17 AM
Yeah they have crossed the state too PZ.
http://www.zombiefargo.com
Posted by: Glen Davidson
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August 23, 2010 11:23 AM
But can they marry?
Glen Davidson
Posted by: Moggie
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August 23, 2010 11:24 AM
I thought 6th and Hennepin was a Tom Waits song, but zombies aren't really his style.
Posted by: smsprite
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August 23, 2010 11:38 AM
THE ZOMBIES HAD NO IDs.
Comedy gold...
Posted by: truthspeaker
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August 23, 2010 11:40 AM
I see you are not familiar with the powerful force known as the Minneapolis Police Federation. For a Minneapolis cop to get disciplined for anything, he would have to be caught in the act of lynching someone while wearing a white robe and hood. That might be enough to warrant disciplinary action, after a long expensive arbitration process.
Posted by: stonedone
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August 23, 2010 11:50 AM
Hey! Minnesota lets zombies, as well as me, into its bars. You just have to produce a death certificate, that's all. Also, the no-rotting space is in the alley.
Posted by: Moira Manion
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August 23, 2010 11:53 AM
Kieranfoy @15,
Sorry, sorry. Meant that LGBT people here get out and do gay rights protests, giving the neo-dunderheads as an example.
You're not the only one needing caffiene.
Caffiieene....caffiiieeenee...........
Posted by: pdferguson
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August 23, 2010 11:58 AM
What a great story. The only thing missing in all this is the Westboro Baptist Klan waving "God Hates Zombies" signs...
Posted by: Kieranfoy, Faerie Godfather of Death, GMKSC, OED
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August 23, 2010 12:01 PM
Oh, I see. Yeah, my bad.
Neeeedddddddd caaaafffiiiieeennneeee.
Well, thanks for deciding my movie choices for today, P.Zed. Zombie flicks!
Gotta get it out of my system, or my Oblivion mod'll filled with even more zombies than it is!
Posted by: davem
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August 23, 2010 12:10 PM
The 165,000 is 'for the zombies and their lawyers'. So the zombies get 4.32 each...
Posted by: Ordeneus
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August 23, 2010 12:16 PM
Silly Muricans :o)
Vancouver Zombiewalk this last weekend...
Posted by: The Countess
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August 23, 2010 12:43 PM
Zombies are all the rage now and I'm not sure why. There are even zombie erotic romances out there. It's one of the newest trends. Go figure.
Posted by: Randomfactor
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August 23, 2010 12:52 PM
Southern California gets panhandlers, and wouldn't you know it, Minnesota gets zombies.
Minnesota got first choice.
Posted by: https://me.yahoo.com/a/SaqGVG0xvJEQVwURVamS3DTCdvov0BLhXK1jOsYPPJQ-#b4893
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August 23, 2010 1:07 PM
Sacramento had its own Zombie Walk a couple months ago. I thought it was silly, but I certainly wouldn't have arrested anyone either.
Anyone else see this protest in San Francisco that advocated allowing women to go topless? Trouble is, it was organized by the Raelians.
I'm not kidding.
Fourteen men and six women showed up for the protest.
I still don't see what good it does to replace a bronze-age myth with a new-age myth. One myth is usually just as worthless as the next.
MikeM
Posted by: Stonyground
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August 23, 2010 1:26 PM
The UK police force have aquired a bit of a reputation for idiocy and overbearing bullying, there is even a blog devoted to their antics http://dixonof.blogspot.com/
Posted by: elonin
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August 23, 2010 1:30 PM
Was that $165,000 each or divided by the whole group? Also, there are already plenty of zombies. Check any mall. Darn who would have thought that Day of the Dead got it right?
Posted by: lose_the_woo
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August 23, 2010 1:48 PM
Perhaps. But there was a zombie a couple thousand years ago that still has quite a following.
Posted by: duckphup
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August 23, 2010 2:05 PM
Just curious... did there happen to be a Jewish Zombie-on-a-stick in this parade of the un-dead?
Posted by: cypress
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August 23, 2010 2:24 PM
Also a small price to pay for the fantastic, unbelievable story you'll tell for the rest of your life...
"You think that's cool? Dude, I was arrested for being a terrorist zombie!
Posted by: Numad
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August 23, 2010 2:33 PM
From the title I thought this was another Kurzweil thread for a second there.
As for the reanimated dead: isn't it better that Minnesota get them rather than Southen California? One harsh winter might stop them lurching, groaning and reeking; if only temporarily.
Posted by: Gregory Greenwood
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August 23, 2010 3:06 PM
Just wait for the next creationist conference. Plenty of zombies there, with their cries of "Braaaaains!", "Irreducible complexity" and "The Third Law of Thermodynmics".
What do you mean 'creationists aren't zombies'? The level of mental activity is identical, as is the mindless groaning and mumbling mode of communication and the immunity to reason. They are zombies! Zombies I tell you!
Posted by: Kieranfoy, Faerie Godfather of Death, GMKSC, OED
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August 23, 2010 3:39 PM
I'm seeing a lot of vitalist comments, here. Come on folks; just 'cause a person happens to be a rotting and shambling does not make that person anything like a Creationist.
Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage
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August 23, 2010 3:48 PM
Finally someone is speaking up for the differently alive.
Posted by: archgoon
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August 23, 2010 3:54 PM
>Now, on to the pressing and important questions: are the police required to read their Miranda rights to real zombies before shooting them in the head
I'm pretty sure the police would argue that the suspects were armed and dangerous. Granted, when they _don't_ have arms is where the legal technicalities come in.
Posted by: Moggie
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August 23, 2010 4:17 PM
#49:
One major difference between creationists and zombies is that the former have no use for brains.
Posted by: pdferguson
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August 23, 2010 5:15 PM
Here's the difference between a zombie and creationist. One lurches around in a dazed stupor, oblivious to the world around it, mindlessly chasing anyone who isn't already dead. The other is a zombie.
Posted by: Gregory Greenwood
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August 23, 2010 6:12 PM
Kieranfoy @ 50;
You are right. My comparison to a mindless, unreasoning creature with no connection to reality was uncalled for an bigoted, and I would like to hereby offer my unreserved apologies to all zombies everywhere.
Posted by: Kieranfoy, Faerie Godfather of Death, GMKSC, OED
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August 23, 2010 6:54 PM
Your apologies are accepted, Gregory. The undead rights cause isn't exactly in the public eye, and it's very easy to make accidentally vitalist remarks.
Posted by: MadScientist
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August 23, 2010 11:03 PM
Yeah, go Zombies! I wonder if the cops arrest everyone with a ghetto blaster or if they only pick on the zombies.
Posted by: Cowcakes
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August 23, 2010 11:30 PM
@Zeno #1
The image that this brings to mind given the Australian meaning of teabagging is priceless. I'm guessing YouTube wouldn't let them post a video of the demonstration.
Posted by: molto legato e sostenuto
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August 24, 2010 2:31 AM
Oh noes, Zombies of Mass Destruction!
Posted by: morriganscrow
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August 24, 2010 2:57 AM
I have now thoroughly amused myself imagining a zombie Creationist church service, and a zombie school class attending the Creationist Museum....
Posted by: ed hardy jeans
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August 24, 2010 4:48 AM
I will stil write about science here, but more about the conduct of science. My plan for the other blog is to write about specific advances in physiology.
And I did not invert my links, Irene. They are placed where I wanted them.
Posted by: pdferguson
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August 24, 2010 11:24 AM
The American meaning of teabagging is the same. They try to get people to call them the "Tea Party", but teabaggers is far more descriptive and accurate. Plus, it really pisses them off, which is just, ahem, "icing on the cake"...
Posted by: FlyingToaster
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August 24, 2010 4:13 PM
Here's a compendium of Zombie March videos from Somerville, MA (where I lived before spouse and spawn):
Google goodness
I remember these from the mid-90s, and the local constabulary never arrested anyone.
Note: it got cancelled for 2010 because of some bad behavior in 2009; once a new organizer can be found (who doesn't encourage anti-social behavior), it'll likely be back...
Posted by: designer handbags
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September 1, 2010 8:49 PM
It might help pave the way for more serious demonstrations such as gay rights marches.
Posted by: Mutuelle santé
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October 6, 2010 8:52 AM
That`s just ludacrous, where has the right to live freely in society gone nowadays, those people was arrested and even they were though to carry weapon.