Pharyngula

Posted by: Hekuni Cat, Champion of Oriana | September 5, 2010 1:12 AM

Caine:

I don't want Jadehawk to miss the invite to stay with me if push comes to shove.

I am very glad you are able to make this offer to Jadehawk. I thought about it myself, but I live in Virginia, which is too far away to be of use to her.

I also want to rescue the kitten, but there's really no hope of that in the present circumstances. So I'm back to sad and angry again.

Posted by: Patricia, OM | September 5, 2010 1:14 AM

Ahh, the new video - proof that Walton does have a girlfriend.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | September 5, 2010 1:23 AM

Both kittehs are being preternaturally calm around my knitting. Fat tabby cat is actually sitting up against my leg purring, but not being provoked into snagging the yarn as I click-click it over her head. Weird.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | September 5, 2010 1:29 AM

ODS:

We're docile, complacent, and apathetic.

The majority of 'merkins? Yes, they are. The rest are trying to control every one else's lives while not playing by the rules they seek to impose. It's a mess.

Posted by: Patricia, OM | September 5, 2010 1:41 AM

Good night all!

Posted by: Hekuni Cat, Champion of Oriana | September 5, 2010 1:51 AM

It's almost 2 am, so bedtime is here. Good night, everyone!

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | September 5, 2010 2:04 AM

Night, Hekuni Cat! The Bullriders will be in town tomorrow (today, actually), so we have to get to sleep too, so we can be out with cameras.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | September 5, 2010 2:37 AM

I daresay you are quite the marriageable type, you know.

blushing becomingly - Kind sir, there are few diversions fitting for a lady, so she must take them where she finds them. On those long and lonely days under grey skies, when I walk the rocky beach and pine for my husband and help-meet, lost at the market in downtown Burlington sea these many years, I take solace in and do reflect on that humble fabric that lies across my lap, growing stitch by stitch. It is a great comfort to me as I face the stretch of years before me. . .

faints into a puddle of skirts and horsehair

Posted by: Icaria | September 5, 2010 2:45 AM

Some people train their dogs to help blind people, sniff out drug trafficers, or find people buried in avalanches.

He taught his dog to dance. Good for him.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | September 5, 2010 2:50 AM

I think you're attempting to tempt MrFire into your stable, that's what this wife thinks.

And, frankly, I would, and so would you, if it weren't for that pesky Mrs. Fire. MrFire is hawt.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | September 5, 2010 2:56 AM

Sweet Zombie Jesus, I am in so much fucking pain; I need to be up and out, sitting in the dirt today, trying not to be kicked in the head or run over by a pissed off bull...there are idiots out there in my little town right now with bass at ear bleed, glass shattering levels. I am not a happy vixen.

Time to break out the major drugs, catch you all later on, I have work coming on too soon for me.

In much shorter words, G'night all! Everyone have a splendid weekend.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | September 5, 2010 2:59 AM

With one fuck of a bite, mind. Just sayin'.

There have ever been, and, God allowing in his infinite though inscrutable wisdom, ever will be, those who invite shame upon our sex. But mark me that I cannot. . .

. . . keep up this Puritan/Victorian lady bullshit without some back up. Help a fag out?

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | September 5, 2010 3:12 AM

Sheeyit. I'm just goin' to bed.

Posted by: jaf | September 5, 2010 3:48 AM

McCthulhu
"Most dog tricks don't require the memorization of a sequence of moves over the course of three minutes, which includes having to remain bipedal the entire time."

I thought this was a place for people who could see beyond the illusion. The dog doesn't need to remember a sequence of tricks; it only needs to remember each separate trick, as its owner requires it.

I feel sorry for the dog - for unquestioning loyalty, its only reward is humiliation.

Posted by: John Morales | September 5, 2010 4:12 AM

Poe's Law generalises nicely.

Posted by: coughlanbrianm | September 5, 2010 4:36 AM

Wow!

Julio finally pulled.

Lucky dog.

www.twigg.co

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | September 5, 2010 4:47 AM

Jaffacakes: What the fu-hell? Like I don't know the dog was following cues. I haven't made a serious post on the interwebz since 1996. And if you think the dog is feeling humiliated for doing the doggie dance...have you ever even owned a dog??? If he got his treat at the end, dog is thrilled.

Ask Brian at #31. He's been having to put up with Peter since 1999, but he's still living in the Griffin household. Is Meg as ugly in person as they portray on TV?

Posted by: jaf | September 5, 2010 4:57 AM

Jaffacakes, eh? I've neveer heard that one before.

Yeah, right.

Yes, I have had a dog. I never used him as a means to make myself look good. He didn't have to perform for treats. He wasn't a toy, he was my best mate, and I wouldn't put my best mate through that crap.

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | September 5, 2010 5:07 AM

BTW, I thought you mentioned buying The Spirit Level... did you get a chance at reading it, if only for the stats on the U.K.?

Yes, I did. It was interesting. I don't think it proves quite as much as the authors claim; but there are nevertheless a few really interesting insights, and it changed my opinion on some issues.

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | September 5, 2010 5:21 AM

Ahh, the new video - proof that Walton does have a girlfriend.

Um... no one told me about this. :-/

Posted by: Rorschach | September 5, 2010 5:53 AM

Boy night at Chez Rorschach, glass(es) of Port, bottle(s) of German beer.
Monitor 1: Internet, Monitor 2: NCIS via cable tv, Monitor 3: some Thai gameshow via satellite.These evenings are just too few and far between....*sigh*

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | September 5, 2010 6:20 AM

Nay, good sir; for teh Portcullis is ensconc'd in grooves greas'd with the Blood of Heroes!

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | September 5, 2010 6:24 AM

And I probably shouldn't be airing their dirty laundry on the internet, but this is my only outlet for my frustration right now.

Can we set up a fund for you to pay rent somewhere until the final move? We helped Lynna, I'm sure we can help you.

Posted by: blf | September 5, 2010 6:57 AM

[T]he problem with most merkins is that they don't match up to the existing carpet…

'Merkins on carpets? How do you housetrain them? (The 'merkins, not the carpets.)
 
 
 
 
Although, come to fink of it, how do you housetrain a carpet?

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage | September 5, 2010 7:07 AM

We need some music. Here's Martha Wainwright's song "Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pX-bIr8dr6U

Posted by: Felix | September 5, 2010 7:10 AM

Will you accept the Great Old One into your... um... you know what I'm sayin:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=514509&l=3c0227515b&id=1831265358

Posted by: SteveV, Death's Pissant Haberdasher | September 5, 2010 7:23 AM

Can we set up a fund for you to pay rent somewhere until the final move? We helped Lynna, I'm sure we can help you.

Count me in.

Cog Dis UK


Click 'Listen Now' Go to 36.50. If you can stand it.

Shit shit shit.

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage | September 5, 2010 7:34 AM

Felix, please don't embed images. All it does is slow down the already slow thread loading.

Posted by: badgersdaughter | September 5, 2010 8:24 AM

That dog is working, and happy (the tail wags constantly). Dogs like work. Humiliation? Dogs feel humiliation when they're alone and ignored, not when they're interacting with and pleasing their beloved pack-people.

Speaking of interacting with pack people... I also have an extra bedroom set up for a guest, though it's just an apartment and I mostly sit in the corner with the computer. I'd sincerely be glad for the company (not that I would impose any particular social duties). But I also live in Texas and it would be hard (not impossible) to fit a fourth kitty in with my three.

As for the "my house my rules" thing... I said it last year in the break-up convo to my ex, who last lifted a finger to contribute more than body odor to the household something like four years prior to the the breakup. I paid for everything in the place (and for the place, too), and he had long since stopped looking for work (or doing anything else, including getting dressed) and started complaining I didn't make him "happy." I had to actually tell him that only sick people lived like parasite slugs and then blamed their host for their unhappiness. After I dumped him, he went to live with his sister, and she couldn't stand him either. If he was depressed, we'll never know. He refused to go to therapy because his problems were "obviously" the fault of other people.

I'm by no means comparing my ex to Jadehawk, absolutely by no means! She is ethical, her situation is temporary, and she has the capacity and the will to make her life better. Even if she never lifted her voice to me for anything but to ask where the cat litter was, even if she never helped out with the rent or groceries, I would feel vastly better about living with her than with my ex.

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | September 5, 2010 8:40 AM

And... *blushes* I will confess to a slight crush on Abby.

Arghhhhh ! I'd paint the Israeli chick's toenails, tho.

Really? I find her a bit scary. :-/

I much prefer the nerd characters to the tough macho characters. Abby and McGee are cute, whereas DiNozzo is rather annoying (and reminds me of the kind of people I disliked in school), and Ziva is just... weird.

(Now I'm sounding like some kind of obsessive fan... I'll shut up now.)

Posted by: Dana Hunter | September 5, 2010 8:49 AM

Apropos of nothing, my dear Pharyngulites, but I should very much like your help: I'm collecting a list of the most despised, unappreciated and/or ignored animals. They can be ugly, they can be disgusting, they can be nuisances, they can be obscure, just so long as they're not popular. Adorable, cute and fuzzy are right out.

Once I have a good group, I'm taking them on a Blue Collar Animal Tour. So tell me: Who should go on the bus?

Thanks in advance!

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage | September 5, 2010 8:58 AM

Dana Hunter,

Tape worms and other subjects of parasitology would be obvious candidates for your tour. There's also that worm that eats eyeballs.

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage | September 5, 2010 9:05 AM

Time to see how the winds are blowing over the Sound. Toodles.

Posted by: JeffreyD | September 5, 2010 9:35 AM

Dana - nice to see you again.

I'm collecting a list of the most despised, unappreciated and/or ignored animals.

The Alaskan Palin? Aka the lying hound.

The Newt of Gingrich?

The Beck slimeworm?

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | September 5, 2010 9:55 AM

I'm collecting a list of the most despised, unappreciated and/or ignored animals.

Under despised, how about the Fundogelicus hypocritus?

Posted by: jaf | September 5, 2010 10:00 AM

Dogs are pack animals, and seek to ingratiate themselves with the packleader,but jebus-bloody-purple-sprouting, let's drop the anthropomorphism.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | September 5, 2010 10:08 AM

Actually, under the heading of underappreciated animals, how about the brown tarantula?

When I lived in California and Arizona, we kids looked forward to the spring mating season with great anticipation. As all the male tarantulas went nuts looking for the females, they were visible and easy to catch (they also became roadkill in large numbers (well, not that large, but enough)). After catching them, we would walk down to the Grand Canyon visitor center, place them on our shoulders, walk into the building, and wait for the screams.

The brown tarantulas were cute, fuzzy and pretty much harmless (I was bitten many times and it hurt less than a sweat bee sting and didn't last nearly as long as a mosquito or blackfly bite. And they did a good job (from what I understood at the time) of dealing with various more annoying insects.

Oh, and HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

Posted by: nigelTheBold, Minister of Spankings | September 5, 2010 10:12 AM

Yes, dogs will do practically anything you ask of them - but why would you? Why would anyone want to see cats in suits, or dogs in dresses?

Ah. Sorry, I misunderstood -- I thought you were referring to badgersdaughter or perhaps even me, and not the video directly. There wasn't a lot of context other than proximity to other comments.

I retract my snark, and apologize for the misunderstanding.

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right | September 5, 2010 10:20 AM

Good morning, everyone!

Nick Matzke, commenting on "I don't need that hypothesis," makes a lot of sense. As usual.

I think Mattir is sewing decorative squares together this weekend.

Someone posted the Cthulhu dildoes a couple of threads ago. Ridiculous prices: $300 or something.

Speaking of animal training, I recommend Temple Grandin's 2009 book, "Animals Make Us Human." Just don't read the section on chicken 'farming' late at night; it will keep you up with anger or horror.

I prefer parties where people can hear each other talk. Nothing against dancing or cheap booze.

Am I caught up yet?

Posted by: windy | September 5, 2010 10:50 AM

Nick Matzke, commenting on "I don't need that hypothesis," makes a lot of sense. As usual.

Really? You agree with Matzke that

"You are the guys who are trying to make belief in traditional Christianity a thought crime."

Or are you trying to give Ichthyic a brain hemorrhage?

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right | September 5, 2010 10:50 AM

The first formulation of Poe's Law that I remember discussing must have been over 20 years ago: "It's almost impossible to satirize advertisements." That was shortly after I'd spent way too much time trying to decide if the ads in the Harvard Lampoon were part of the humor or separate commercials.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | September 5, 2010 10:56 AM

I'd spent way too much time trying to decide if the ads in the Harvard Lampoon were part of the humor or separate commercials.

A guy I know put himself through college as a roofer up in Maine (nice thing about being a roofer in Maine is the nice weather coincides almost exactly with the student summer) with a company that specialized in traditional cedar shingles. He now works in advertising down in Orlando and Daytona Beach (or (at least) he did until a few years ago (not sure where he is now)). He said that advertising and shingling are very similar. You have to be able to resist giving the shingle or the ad copy that last whack which will break it.

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right | September 5, 2010 10:58 AM

One reason that the Pharyngula page loads slowly is that PZ's "small" image of himself is actually a huge image partially displayed in a small area. PZ, please get someone to save the file as pzm_london_sm and resize it to about 300 pixels on a side, at the most. Then insert that image. Give people a link to page pzm_london_lg.php if they want to see the whole thing.

Posted by: Rey Fox, Bird Caller Guy | September 5, 2010 11:10 AM

Did someone say "vixens"?

Posted by: jaf | September 5, 2010 11:12 AM

nigelthebold -

NA,NE.*

I probably wasn't clear enough.

In trying to be concise, it's easy to end up unfathomable.

*(Never apologise, never explain).

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | September 5, 2010 11:17 AM

You know who I used to think was cute was that thin nerdy guy on that other cop show. Tv shows are so damned dumb though. Uh... What was that show? Profilers or something?

Posted by: Katrina, radicales féministes athées | September 5, 2010 11:21 AM

Dana: This is the most despised animal in my back yard.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | September 5, 2010 11:25 AM

That's it
Windy! You can see how much tv I watch.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | September 5, 2010 11:32 AM

Uh... Lol! I dont look like that anymore. Got sick of having to dye my hair all the time... also of makeup.

Know what you mean. I was surprised by some of the replies I saw. No one here gives a damn. That's probably just as bad.

Posted by: http://deadwildroses.wordpress.com/.wordpress.com/ | September 5, 2010 11:36 AM

One could file this under 'religiously motivated hate sites' found on the Net.

This fine gentlemen believes that the civil rights movement has been hijacked by "homosexuals".

His reasoning, of course, is based on the magical book of his choosing. He is full of artless apologetics and the uncanny ability that manifests itself as being not able to recognize or respond coherently to logical argumentation.

The first reasoned smackdown starts here, but it gets depressingly worse as other rational beings attempt to reason with this individual(he has only shouted in ALLCAPS once so far...)

There are probably a few laughs to be had as his delusional behaviour is writ large. It is distressing, on a more serious note, as how do you deal with the amazingly wilful ignorance that is being touted as fact and proudly displayed?

Throwing up my hands and writing him off as a bigot seems the best route at the moment.

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | September 5, 2010 11:38 AM

Do any of our loyal Pharyngulites live in the Dutchess County NY area? DaughterSpawn, a friend, and I are coming up for the New York Sheep & Wool Festival in Rhinebeck on October 15-16-17 and we could do a meetup and baby roasting, or at least fondle some yummy fibers or something.

Also, could someone assure my friend that Rhinebeck is not Maine and it may be chilly, but is unlikely to snow in mid-October? I would really rather camp than stay in a character-free motel. Also, if we camp, we could do a pot-luck spiked cider fest. It would be quite a treat to camp free of Boy and Girl Scout organizational rules on slutty behavior, alcohol, and flaming knives.

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | September 5, 2010 11:46 AM

Uh... Lol! I dont look like that anymore.

I know. I was being frivolous again. :-)

====

Because they keep stealing our chickens and children. Like, durrrrr. ::rolls eyes::

Sadly, all too many people really believe this. I've heard exactly the same kind of blindly prejudiced statements against the traveller population in the UK. (The majority of travelling people here are Irish Travellers rather than Roma: though many British people can't tell the difference and wouldn't care anyway.)

The level of violence and open bigotry towards the Roma in continental Europe is really, really scary. And what really disturbs me is that it seems, still, to be considered a socially-acceptable form of racial prejudice. A lot of people don't even appear to notice how bigoted their views are.

:-( :-( :-(

Sometimes I despair of humanity. Really.

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | September 5, 2010 11:52 AM

It would be quite a treat to camp free of Boy and Girl Scout organizational rules on slutty behavior, alcohol, and flaming knives.

The mind boggles. :-/

Personally I dislike camping. The only camping I've ever done was with the OTC, and that was a military exercise, not recreation. I can't imagine ever choosing to go camping for fun. (Though I suppose alcohol might improve the experience.)

Perhaps I'm too decadent, but I tend to enjoy creature comforts such as a warm bed, showers, Internet access, and not being eaten alive by midges.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 5, 2010 12:03 PM

nigelthebold, my brother, Robert, does a lot of skijouring in Alaska, and his dog loves it. Robert says he pulls like two dogs twice his size, and the main difficulty was training him to hold back a little. Here's a link to a short (22 seconds) video of Robert and his dog after a long outing. They had to wear the dog out before he would slow down enough for Robert's wife to shoot the video snippet.
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1039106348959&saved

Jadehawk, I'm just back from another expedition in the backcountry -- just a day and a half, but still long enough to have missed your news about rent and boyfriends and whatever other troubles. I am nearly penniless, as usual, but I could still come up with a little bit to help you out. Has someone organized a PayPal account to contribute to the Rescue Jadehawk fund? I've not caught up with the rolling thread yet.

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | September 5, 2010 12:10 PM

I'm going to spend the day sitting outside, listening to trashy books on my ipod, sewing knitted and crocheted squares together, and enjoying our gorgeous fall weather. I second the Rescue Jadehawk paypal account idea and will contribute if someone sets it up.

Posted by: Dania | September 5, 2010 12:21 PM

Oh, and Jadehawk, I'm glad you decided to take Caine up on her offer. Your sanity and well-being are first. I hope things improve for you very soon.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 5, 2010 12:26 PM

Mattir, did you receive my quilt blocks yet? If so, are they the right size?

*If* it snows in Maine in mid-October, that would be beautiful, and not a deterrent to camping -- unless you get a couple of feet of snow. I camp in cold weather all the time. Just be sure to bring a thicker sleeping pad, one that insulates you from the cold ground. Here's one that's nice: http://www.backcountry.com/therm-a-rest-dream-time-sleeping-pad

You also need a really good sleeping bag, preferably with 800-900 fill down, though Quallofil is cheaper and you can get a good cold-weather bag for about $150 if you go for Quallofil. If you're not backpacking, the weight doesn't matter.
http://www.rei.com/product/775920

If you are bringing leather hiking or snow boots, treat them with waterproofing before your trip. Bring two pair of gloves so can switch if one pair gets wet. Bring layers of clothing for your body, so you can adjust as the day warms. A hat and a wool vest will serve well in fall-to-winter temperature ranges.

Leland and I have had resort owners offer us free lodging as part of their marketing plan, but unless the weather is flat out terrible, we choose to camp outdoors, preferably where there are no other humans in sight. You're in the world, on the earth, when you camp out. In a motel or lodge, you're just in a motel or lodge.

Posted by: Dania | September 5, 2010 12:30 PM

basically, i'd have to grab the cat when no one's home, carry it out of the house on foot without anyone noticing i've done that, and then meet with someone who could drive the cat to safety; and all that without a phone to coordinate things

That's what I was thinking but I don't know if it's even possible, given the situation. Wish I could help...

no; they just take the new one out, and leave the old one in *sigh*

Oh, well. It doesn't sound like they treat the new one well either (just not as bad) and it doesn't seem to help the other cat. I think I'd bring it with me anyway if I was you. One less cat for them to mistreat.

Posted by: Carlie of the lacy, gently wafting adjectives | September 5, 2010 12:34 PM

Jadehawk - does the boyfriend complain to his parents that they're treating it like shit? Do they listen to him at all?

Posted by: 朴競花/박경화 (Gyeong Hwa) | September 5, 2010 12:36 PM

One of the kittehs have caught a rodent and now I wish to identify it. To the best of my knowledge it looks to be either a cricetidaen or a geomyidaen. Is there any way I can identify it further.

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | September 5, 2010 12:47 PM

A donation account won't get me out of here any faster, and I'd just feel guilty for having "wasted" your charity

We may not be able to make a down payment (though I'd never say never), but a flat with furniture for three months shouldn't be unpossible.

basically, i'd have to grab the cat when no one's home, carry it out of the house on foot without anyone noticing i've done that, and then meet with someone who could drive the cat to safety; and all that without a phone to coordinate things

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 5, 2010 12:56 PM

Well, this is odd. My submission of comment #119 went through even though I got a "submission failed" message.

For our Moments of Mormon Madness, we return to the subject of necrodunking, which has been in the news again thanks to mormons organizing a photo op in which a mormon bigwig shook hands with a Jewish bigwig as promises were made to refrain from proxy baptizing dead Jews.

This info was posted by an ex-mormon on September 3, 2010, and it demonstrates an interesting twist on proxy baptisms -- they are evidence of polygamy in the afterlife, and of acceptance of the idea of polygamy in the here and now:

All info is from the database owned by LDS ' New Family Search" --
Recent Temple Sealings to multiple parnters:
Celebrities:
Clark Gable sealed to 5 spouses
Rita Hayworth sealed to 5 husbands 1998
Rex Harrison sealed to 5 wives in 1997
Audrey Hepburn 3 spouses- sealed to 2 on the same day in Sept 2009 St George Temple
Ernest Hemingway..sealed to 5 spouses.. some he was never married to
Marylin Monroe sealed to 3 husbands..2 of the husbands (a)Joe DiMaggio has been sealed to other women
King Henry VIII sealed to 14 spouses.. some of which he had executed, some were mistresses, concubines .
Emma Smith sealed to Joseph and Don Carlos Smith ( joes brother)
Joseph Smith 229 women have been sealed to him
Mary Mother of Jesus sealed to 2 men .. Joseph and God the Father
Harold B Lee sealed to a woman he was never married to while his wife was still alive
If you have been divorced many times the likelihood that you will be sealed to all your exes is very high
     Baptism for the Dead
Jospeh Mengle Nazi Doctor recently baptized
Joseph Georbles Hitler propaganda Minister rebaptized several months ago
Saleem Al Haznih (sp)... sept 11 hijacker that crashed into pentagon
President Obamas Mother
Billy Grahams wife , Ruth Bell Graham while her husband is still alive..
Mother Teresa

Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe | September 5, 2010 1:00 PM

well, that still doesn't change the fact that there are absolutely no apartments available; there are waiting lists for apartments at the moment.

Posted by: blf | September 5, 2010 1:16 PM

Patricia, knitting a new tile for the roof won't help.

Posted by: Carlie of the lacy, gently wafting adjectives | September 5, 2010 1:20 PM

Patricia, knitting a new tile for the roof won't help.

What if it's a tex-tile?

Posted by: blf | September 5, 2010 1:36 PM

Posted by: 朴競花/박경화 (Gyeong Hwa) | September 5, 2010 1:54 PM

Feynmaniac, which is worst? That one or this one:

If there is no God... who holds back the oceans from going over thier borders?

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | September 5, 2010 2:00 PM

I think we're at around 40 squares and we need 48. Since I can always badger my meatspace friends, it won't be a problem and everyone can move on to knitting squares for the MysteryRecipient&trade. Lynna, I got your squares and they look great. Plus you're the first person to include an on-letterhead typed cover letter. Let no one accuse all Pharyngulites of being informal slackers. I'm moving on to the quilt once I finish the afghan, since I think the quilt won't take as much time.

I'm not worried about ME camping in the cold - I've been camping in Maine in November when it snowed and loved it. I have down sleeping bags, silk bag liners, lots of fleece - I'm fine and would rather camp in cold than in the horrid heat and humidity that we've had this summer. It's my scared-of-freezing friend I'm trying to reassure. I'll probably propose camping with the assurance that we will bail if it snows/hails frogs, etc.

Posted by: Andyo | September 5, 2010 2:14 PM

I thing Gyeong's creationist is stupider.

Damn even flat-earthers have better excuses. I was listening to a podcast (might've been the Infidel Guy) and they say that "gravity" is the result of the (flat) earth accelerating upward all the time (that's the first google result, I can't vouch for its Poeless condition).

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 5, 2010 2:18 PM

Mattir, sounds like you've got it right for cold-weather camping. Like you, I much prefer the cold to excessive heat and humidity ... up to a point, that point being when five gallons of water freezes solid within a couple of hours.

On the hike we took yesterday, everybody sweated buckets. Our backs were wet under our daypacks. There's one ice-cold, aquamarine-colored pool where one can stop to cool off on the way to the big gusher of a spring. The spring comes out of what looks like a partially open mouth in the mountainside. I posted a photo on my Facebook page.

Mattir, I can make another quilt square if necessary. Let me know.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | September 5, 2010 2:25 PM

Plus you're the first person to include an on-letterhead typed cover letter. Let no one accuse all Pharyngulites of being informal slackers.

Foul lying wench! I sent one with my squares way before that Johnny-come-lately Lynna.

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | September 5, 2010 2:33 PM

Yes, Josh, you did send squares ahead of Lynna, but yours did not include a professional-looking typed letter addressed to yours truly. Just squares and a highly sealed up, presumably pronographic letter which I suspect describes your kinky fantasies about Hitchens' brain and the things you'd like to do to it/have it do to you. You do email me way more frequently than Lynna does, but she's on FB so I get to see her cool photos...

Basically you're both sluts and should be locked in a room with Walton and some of those upthread squid devices. If you're lucky, there might be a Baby Jesus you-know-what under the pillow.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | September 5, 2010 2:37 PM

Well, that's me sorted. . .lol!

Posted by: Andyo | September 5, 2010 2:50 PM

btw, those who were following the latest internet animal outrage: the puppy-throwing girl has been caught.

Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | September 5, 2010 2:51 PM

Personally I dislike camping.

Don't try big wall climbing

Posted by: llewelly | September 5, 2010 2:57 PM

Mattir | September 5, 2010 2:33 PM:

Basically you're both sluts and should be locked in a room with Walton and some of those upthread squid devices. If you're lucky, there might be a Baby Jesus you-know-what under the pillow.

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | September 5, 2010 3:10 PM

I may not be much of a dog person, but I certainly wouldn't throw puppies in a river. That's pretty evil. :-(

I will never understand why some people feel the need to be gratuitously cruel to animals. I've never wanted to watch a bullfight or go fox-hunting, either (though I think both activities shoudl be legal).

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | September 5, 2010 3:28 PM

That is, it cannot be anything so tame as a butt plug, a wetsuit, a hang-glider, or a whip - if it was, you would never think of euphemising it.

True. It wasn't so long ago that Mattir posted that link to pictures of a young lady holding... um... *blushes nervously*... well, you remember.

Now that stuck in my mind. (Especially as I clicked on the link by accident before realising what it was.)

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | September 5, 2010 3:46 PM

True. It wasn't so long ago that Mattir posted that link to pictures of a young lady holding... um... *blushes nervously*... well, you remember.

Now that stuck in my mind. (Especially as I clicked on the link b

Links, plz.

Somehow, you WILL get through this.

Sublets! That's the word I was looking for. Thank you, chgo_liz.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | September 5, 2010 3:48 PM

Jadehawk:

I think I'm gonna have to take Caine up on her offer of moving in with her...

My email is at my Zenfolio. Let me know. A word of warning - I am on dial-up. Not as bad as boyfriend's family, but close!

Gotta go, Bullriders!

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | September 5, 2010 3:50 PM

Sili: This one here.

Warning to everyone: don't click the link in that post if you're (a) at work, (b) sharing an internet connection with your parents, grandparents or maiden aunt, or (c) easily embarrassed.

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | September 5, 2010 4:17 PM

Awwwwww - those are absolutely adorable.

Walton, you're an old maiden aunt.

Silly boy.

Posted by: Carlie of the lacy, gently wafting adjectives | September 5, 2010 4:24 PM

Oh, Walton. You have to check out the online catalogs at Good Vibrations and Blowfish. The steampunk is positively prudish by comparison.

Posted by: ursulamajor | September 5, 2010 4:48 PM

Mattir, I'll try to work up another square or two for the afghan to send with the quilt square on Tuesday.

Posted by: llewelly | September 5, 2010 5:15 PM

blf | September 5, 2010 4:31 PM:

Walton, you're an old maiden aunt.

This makes perfect sense. An elderly lady, dressed in laced gloves and wearing a faded fruit hat, madly typing away on her 1980's-era Apple ][ under a sepia portrait of the Windsors, pretending to be a confused law student with a fetish for concrete cows, is just sooo Waltonesque.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | September 5, 2010 5:22 PM

Yeah but I bet over the years Walton will transtion from old maiden aunt to depraved aunty.

Posted by: blf | September 5, 2010 5:39 PM

Keep in mind, blf loves MUSHROOMS!

Yeah, and it's MUSHROOM! season… several Italians have already died. (From falling off mountains whilst hunting the elusive MUSHROOM!, not from poisonous types.)

Fortunately, there is no danger of confusing peas and MUSHROOMS! Though I'd be careful not to give a pea a change to push me. Sneaky critters, peas.

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | September 5, 2010 5:50 PM

@ Sven -

I don't think the outrage at the Bosnian girl was so much at drowning the puppies as the pitching them into the water one by one and posting the damn spectacle on YouTube (i.e. doing it for entertainment in a group). I have a rule that one killing an animal should take responsibility for witnessing any suffering and use means that minimize that suffering. Being up close and personal with a drowning animal ought to give you a "don't do this for fun" grasp of reality.

For the record, I've drowned exactly one animal in my life: a mouse that was living in the vents of my oven and seemed immune to snap-traps. I caught it with a glue trap, which I never used before or since and drowned it as soon as it was caught. I have killed animals via shooting and decapitation, which is far more humane.

Re mushrooms - we're going on a foray with the local mycological association tomorrow morning. Those groups are pretty full of hallucinogen-interested middle-aged nerds, and thus a lot of fun.

Posted by: Dania | September 5, 2010 6:00 PM

Drowning is the traditional and time-honored way to be rid of an unwanted litter of puppies. Not condoning the practice, but in rural areas it happens all the time. I guess it's easier than breking each individual little neck.

Yeah. Burying too. Actually, I think burying is more common around here. Not that it's much different...

Gyeong, I challenge you to a fundie quote off.

:D

Posted by: blf | September 5, 2010 6:12 PM

For some reason, the cats are raiding my kitchen tonight. One got a few licks of the leftover broth I had set out to cool, then came back a few minutes later and tried again (but was foiled by the cover I'd put on), and just now is trying again, this time cleaning up where the bones were. In the meantime, another local cat (who I think is the local bullycat) also tried a raid, but hissed and ran away as soon as I stared at it.

Whilst the dinner was tasty (a rice-and-mustard pork risotto (forgot to put in the garlic!)) it wasn't meant to be a feast for cats. Ijust wiped down the counter again, slightly mystified as to what the cats were smelling, or tasting, and why they raided the kitchen more than once (even if this time I deliberately refrained from throwing peas at them).

Have the fundies been misleading us? Instead of allegedly-Muslim terrorists training monkeys to machine-gun people, the fundies are training Teh Evil Cats to raid lairs and eat everything except peas. The machine-gun monkeys are a distraction from the real threat: Starvation by pea.

Posted by: blf | September 5, 2010 6:33 PM

The roof is half covered.

Isn't that one of the more effective raindances?

Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe | September 5, 2010 6:44 PM

(((Wife))) is correct.

Posted by: Rorschach | September 5, 2010 7:20 PM

It's a nice and sunny day, I'm not overly hungover, and going to pick up the kid for the day now, yay ! See y'all later...

Posted by: David Marjanović | September 5, 2010 7:25 PM

I'm back. No time to catch up yet. Just wanted to say that a cat visited the late grandfather's garden today... it had a necklace, but otherwise looked like an honest-to-FSM wildcat as far as I can tell, with a stout build and a remarkably bushy, blunt-ended tail. A hybrid perhaps???

Speaking of the FSM, on the dig we were twice served mediocre-at-best meatballs with an abominable tomato-containing glue sauce and a... remarkable kind of rice. The rice had large, somewhat inflated grains, was a bit slimy, didn't smell good (didn't really smell bad either, though; didn't have much odor at all) and was utterly tasteless. My brother was at home alone for most of the weekend and managed to replicate that rice exactly. The secret? He doesn't like salt, so he put almost no salt in the cooking water. (Also, no spices whatsoever, but that can't have made the smell & taste of the rice itself go away.) Looks to me like salt has a really dramatic effect on how much water enters the rice grains and how much, and what, leaks out of them.

Everyone in this family cooks rice by steaming it till the water is gone (and adding more water in case the rice isn't fully cooked then). I'm really surprised such divergent results can be obtained within this method. I mean, assuming all the taste leaks out of the rice, where does it go? Can all of it evaporate with the water???

====================

Comment 3 looks really good, kittnapping included.

I haven't yet checked if Jadehawk has already replied – if I did that now, I'd read half of this thread before going to bed in a legally insane state sometime between 3 and 5 in the morning (it's now a quarter past 1); I'll rather start tomorrow by trying to catch up to the previous subthread first.

====================

Oh yeah. The cicada is still in the apartment. It's now right here in the living room. I've managed to see it twice – it's a lot smaller than the giant ones of the Provence, even though it's just as loud! Still, I have no chance of catching it and getting it out. I'll have to leave the window open overnight. (I don't like that prospect. It's cold now.)

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | September 5, 2010 7:29 PM

Part-Time Insomniac:

Sadly I don't know if there are many places in the US and elsewhere that offer you discounts on fixing if the litter is over a certain number, or they do it for free.

Our local humane society will spay/neuter cats for $45 and I wouldn't be surprised if they'd give you a "bulk rate". It'd be an avenue to check out, anyway.

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right | September 5, 2010 7:37 PM

Damn, a sedate kitten is a sick kitten!

Posted by: Rutee, Shrieking Harpy of Dooooom | September 5, 2010 7:51 PM

Holy shit, Gyeong, I'm pretty sure Feynmaniac's is the more damning.

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | September 5, 2010 7:59 PM

Counterattack:

[Did dinosaurs actually exist?]

Yes, but not nessicarily on our planet. When God created it, he may have used material from other planets, and they just happened to have old bones in them.

Posted by: Patricia, OM | September 5, 2010 8:03 PM

Lets hope a half covered roof doesn't incite rain! I know freshly baled hay does.

Hunt and peck furiously = Pullet Patrol.

Posted by: Rutee, Shrieking Harpy of Dooooom | September 5, 2010 8:07 PM

I dunno, Rutee, I'd say both are pretty brain-bruisingly stupid.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | September 5, 2010 8:08 PM

Oh, I may seem inconsistent here. When I was younger I felt a need to prove myself more. Especially being female. So I was much more outdoorsy. That's how I know how I really feel about it.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | September 5, 2010 8:11 PM

I suspect that my failure to possess useful knees would be a problem.

I've been to fires where one of the overheads was a paraplegic. I'm a disabled vet with the knee from Texas*. Many jobs at a fire are low impact. In fact, the biggest danger is the folding chairs for two weeks.

OTOH, I just got excused from jury duty because my quad-cane couldn't make it past the courthouse Security station.

Paging an ADA lawyer? ADA lawyer, line one. Ask your courthouse to look up the Americans with Disabilities Act. Equal access and all. (assuming you are a USian)

*worse than hell.

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | September 5, 2010 8:44 PM

Cicely - Yes, I got your squares, and your atheist-tagging octopus is most excellent and not mutant at all. Unless Gnu Atheists are, by definition, mutants. And call an ADA lawyer - that jury story is appalling. Are you prohibited from suing people or being called as a witness if you have a cane? Seriously, please complain.

Everyone else - I think we're ok on Hitchens squares at this point, so everyone can proceed to knitting and crocheting for the Mystery Recipient™. So far I have 3 squares from reedhl, so we're a bit far from the 48 for that project. Please leave a 20+ inch yarn tail at each end of the square so that seaming can be done with matching yarn. (This is especially important if you are not using WoolEase - I can match WoolEase colors easily, others, not so much.)

On the Hitchens afghan, I have 32 squares sewn together and 42 squares in hand. We need 48 squares, and I'm sure I can squeeze the remaining 6 out of meatspace friends. It's going to look really good, and then we can add comfort shawls to the list of things we have stolen from theists (along with pancake breakfasts and spaghetti dinners).

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | September 5, 2010 8:50 PM

Toad uses HEAVY DENIAL:

I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!

The attack is hilarious and effective.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | September 5, 2010 8:53 PM

Not just a river in Egypt.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 5, 2010 9:03 PM

Photo of Great Mormon Female
From wiki:

In Greek mythology, Mormo (Greek: Μορμώ, Μορμών, Mormō) was a spirit who bit bad children, said to have been a companion of the goddess Hecate. The name was also used to signify a female vampire-like creature in stories told to Greek children by their nurses to keep them from misbehaving. This reference is primarily found in some of the plays of Aristophanes.[1][2] He is also referenced in The Alexiad, which goes to show that Mormo was still taught to children during Byzantine times.

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | September 5, 2010 9:23 PM

When God created it [Earth], he may have used material from other planets, and they just happened to have old bones in them.

Is god into upcycling?

Posted by: SC OM | September 5, 2010 9:37 PM

Just popping in to say that I heard from strange gods and he's OK.

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | September 5, 2010 9:55 PM

I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed.

DaughterSpawn's take: Uh-oh - someone's not living in the reality-based universe.

And she's confessed to starting to read fundie sites for the lols.

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | September 5, 2010 10:06 PM

Penetrating attack:

No, God's Penis is not a biological organ. I never said God's Penis was the same as man's penis. Obviously it wouldn't be. That is why I pointed out God has a Holy, Righteous Penis. That is to say, it's not the same as man's corrupted, fleshy one.

As I said when this subject first came up, once again: Penises are not just for sex & peeing. It is only because man is evil that he thinks of penises exclusively in those terms.

Man is made in the image of God the Father. That is the primary reason why man has a penis.

You cannot insert your evil prejudicial ideas of man's penis onto God - which is exactly what you are doing. God's Penis is not equal to man's penis. It's really not hard to understand.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | September 5, 2010 10:15 PM

It's really not hard to understand.

Yeah, it is. It really is. And now, thanks to that god-penis-idiocy, my brain hurts. Just, um, wow.

I mean, it's not in the same league as far as hate goes (compared to #205), but, wow.

Seriously. I give #205 a 4 for idiocy, 0 for actual laughing-out-loudism, but a full 11 out of 10 for hate. (That would be 15 points for Herr Pikachu.) #220 gets 10 out of 10 for idiocy, 6 for laughing-out-loudism, and a 0 for hate. (That would be 16 for the Toad.)

To really get out there in front, ya'll need to find a quote that combines idiocy, laughng-out-loudism, and hatred. That trifecta, if you can find it, could win.

Good luck. Me? I'm heading for bed. With a comforter and duvet on top because it is going to be delightfuly cold tonight.

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | September 5, 2010 10:28 PM

No, God's Penis is not a biological organ.

Well, the first sentence is accurate. Imaginary creatures generally don't have biological organs, His Noodly Appendage™ notwithstanding.

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | September 5, 2010 10:39 PM

Mock ye not the Holy Penis of God, heathen fools, lest ye feel Its righteous Throb!

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | September 5, 2010 11:13 PM

I assume most of you have seen the very awkward debate with CO governor Jan Brewer, who blanked out for some 20 seconds and didn't speak. After the debate, reporters tried to get her to answer a question, and it's like she wasn't even there.

Are there any geriatric experts here? I'm genuinely wondering if she's experiencing some form of senile dementia. Over the years, many older people I've known and worked with (who later turned out to have Alzheimer's, a brain tumor, or something similar) displayed behavior very similar to hers.

I'm no expert, obviously, but I can't bring myself to even be annoyed by her politics because she strikes me as having a genuine, serious problem.

Anyone with expertise care to comment?

Posted by: MrFire | September 5, 2010 11:21 PM

Just popping in to say that I heard from strange gods and he's OK.

SC, thanks for this.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | September 5, 2010 11:32 PM

Whoops, yes, Arizona - thanks for that.

Posted by: llewelly | September 5, 2010 11:56 PM

David Marjanović | September 5, 2010 7:25 PM:

Everyone in this family cooks rice by steaming it till the water is gone (and adding more water in case the rice isn't fully cooked then). I'm really surprised such divergent results can be obtained within this method. I mean, assuming all the taste leaks out of the rice, where does it go? Can all of it evaporate with the water???

Posted by: Cath the Canberra Cook | September 6, 2010 12:24 AM

Hey Jadehawk, have you considered housesitting? If you can get some references as to your animal care, gardening, and/or housekeeping skills, and ideally a police check, there seem to be a lot of opportunities. I started looking into this from the other end in Australia - and I have found a lovely chap (I hope!) to care for our kittehs for 3 weeks. But lots of people were advertising for longer term house-sits, too.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | September 6, 2010 12:27 AM

I mean, assuming all the taste leaks out of the rice, where does it go?

What taste, darling? Rice doesn't have any taste. It's a pasty, starchy void of non-taste. You've got to treat like a very plain man doing drag - load up on the accessories or no one will notice it.

Posted by: Caine, ghetto féministe | September 6, 2010 12:37 AM

Well, it's been a long day of shooting the Bull Riders and heavy beer lifting. Off to bed, catch up later.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | September 6, 2010 12:42 AM

I'm alarmed, too, about not having heard from brokensoldier. I'd really, really like to hear he's OK.

Posted by: Patricia, OM | September 6, 2010 12:48 AM

Mattir @206 - Thanks for the update. I'm packing up my ghoul humour fail for the night, and my cranberry square with it. I think the double hearts can be finished tomorrow. I don't know what the status of the "boobies" is, so I'll send the tatted nipples with the two squares.

I can do a couple more if there is time?

Is anyone else going to the Shaniko Wool Gathering: www.shanikowoolgathering.com Sept. 11 & 12th? If so I'd love to do a meet up.

Posted by: Aquaria | September 6, 2010 1:11 AM

Glad to hear they're okay.

I'm heading off to bed. I have to talk to the MS society in the morning about finding a neurologist who knows how to eliminate that as being what's wrong with me, so that my mother can quit freaking out about it. I keep telling her that even if that's what it is, well, that's what it is, I'll deal with it from there. She has to freak out, though.

Just once, I'd like to not be the parent having to reassure her and calm her down when I'm the one in the hot seat.

Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe | September 6, 2010 1:20 AM

If you can get some references as to your animal care, gardening, and/or housekeeping skills,

I admit being capable of taking care of animals and gardens... but whatever housekeeping skills i may have had got lost between the fratboy-ex, the punk-boyfriend, and the lazy myself

Posted by: MrFire | September 6, 2010 1:50 AM

If you're continuing with fstdt, I vote for some Rapture-related quotes.

Posted by: MrFire | September 6, 2010 2:09 AM

Oh hey, P-Lo!

I've been meaning to address you with that for a while now, and kept missing the chance.

Posted by: Pygmy Loris | September 6, 2010 2:52 AM

Mr. Fire,

:)

Heaven will be so joyous I almost shudder thinking about it. Heaven will like a constant full body orgasm except not sexual.

What would a non-sexual orgasm be like? Is this person saying heaven will be like heroin?

Posted by: 朴競花/박경화 (Gyeong Hwa) | September 6, 2010 3:09 AM

What would a non-sexual orgasm be like? Is this person saying heaven will be like heroin?

Possibly. I'd rather it be a hullucinogen because then I can interesting things.

Fundamentalists' view of heaven seems so overtly sexual for some reason.

(how to greet Jesus in heaven after the rapture)

What can you say? What doesn't HE know? If I can lay at my Father's feet like my dog use to do by me, I would be so grateful, there is nothing one can say...

Well, I love to sit and think about my heavenly home. What I envision is sitting under a huge tree, I am thinking of maybe the tree of life because it sets alone on a hill overlooking lushes valleys. I am sitting under this tree just talking with Jesus. He lays in the grass with His head proped up on his elbow. I am just talking a mile a minute because I am so thankful to have His complete and interested attention. He is in no hurry for me to just spit it out. He hangs on my every word and the more I talk the more Love He allows me to feel.

Posted by: Cath the Canberra Cook | September 6, 2010 3:22 AM

Jadehawk, I did say "and/or" :) Personally I can cook, but cleaning is not remotely my forte. I shop & cook, the bloke cleans. And we pay for bathroom cleaning.

As long as you can leave a place in a state as clean as the one it started in (possibly by paying a cleaner) then you're good to go with house-sitting. As long as there are people wanting it in your area. Given the US's horribly short vacations and terrible economy, that might not be the case right now, but it can't hurt to check it out.

(Pikachu, MrFire, you are making my brain hurt! OW!)

Posted by: Rorschach | September 6, 2010 3:44 AM

Back from a splendid day with the little devil, and at last Cable tv comes in handy now, to tape all those "Go,Diego,Go" episodes on Nick Jr.!

Can god make himself a penis so big he can't fuck a girl he also created, with it ?

Posted by: windy | September 6, 2010 4:06 AM

How many angels can dance on the tip of God's penis?

Posted by: Orange Utan, Librarian of Death | September 6, 2010 4:25 AM

*dong*

Posted by: Birger Johansson | September 6, 2010 4:47 AM

Pygmy Loris @ 257 :
"So is Jesus omnipresent like god? Otherwise, there's going to be a long line to sit at his feet or have him listening to your every word."

After his death, Jesus was uploaded into the celestial mainfraime quantum computer (otherwise known as The Eschaton). Thus, he is able to multitask, having N numbers of conversations simultaneously, just like the plasma-based super-intellect in Greg Benford´s "Eater".

262, 263. Now I will have to go and vomit. This "religion" thing is grossing me out.

"Oh. My. God. How could someone throw puppies in a river? I really fucking hate people sometimes."
-Harvest their vital organs. There are people who actually will be missed who need organ transplants.

Posted by: Birger Johansson | September 6, 2010 4:59 AM

Blf: "Have the fundies been misleading us? Instead of allegedly-Muslim terrorists training monkeys to machine-gun people, the fundies are training Teh Evil Cats to raid lairs and eat everything except peas. The machine-gun monkeys are a distraction from the real threat: Starvation by pea"

The Elder Gods are constantly trying to squeeze into suitable minds, invading our dimensions by proxy. They sometimes try to get cats to channel them -they have many conceptual similarities, being predators- but the efforts fail after a few seconds because cats are too bloody-minded to take orders from non-feline entities (Cat demons cannot do telepathy, a little-known fact that has saved humanity many times).

Posted by: John Morales | September 6, 2010 5:14 AM

Birger, look at the second link. :)

Posted by: QuadraCentifiable | September 6, 2010 5:44 AM

Did anybody else see the documentary about how good The Pill is for women? And how the Catholic church has 'issues' with it?

Might only have been on in New Zealand I guess.

Posted by: Rorschach | September 6, 2010 5:55 AM

Somewhere in the middle is the correct answer

Absolutely not, fallacy of the golden mean .The answer as far as I see it is heavily leaning to the side of Britain being overly apologetic, in a frantic attempt to appear non-racist.Just look at Walton's utterings on the issue here.

Posted by: Birger Johansson | September 6, 2010 6:11 AM

Dana Hunter @ 62 "unappreciated animals"
That rules out the honey badger, it is waay too cool :)

The eel-like chordate hagfish use slime as a defense: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hagfish

Muskrats (actually not rats) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskrat
Semi-aquatic voles who often cohabit with beavers inside beaver dams.

Stink badgers, and other skunks: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mydaus

...apropos stink badgers: Swedish xenophobe party: Africans have 'child rape gene': http://www.thelocal.se/28752/20100903/

Posted by: David Marjanović | September 6, 2010 6:35 AM

Oh yeah, Josh: have you ever eaten a raw rice grain? Not tasteless. Raw noodles aren't tasteless either.

Posted by: John Morales | September 6, 2010 7:43 AM

ELO star killed by bale of hay.

A founding member of rock group Electric Light Orchestra has been killed after a giant bale of hay tumbled down a hill and crashed onto his van.
Cellist Mike Edwards died after the 600-kilogram bale careered down a steep field, smashed through a hedge and onto the road in Devon, south-west England.

--

Prologue/Twilight.

Posted by: Carlie of the lacy, gently wafting adjectives | September 6, 2010 8:52 AM

Rorschach - that seriously pisses me off. The concept that there is any kind of debate about whether a woman whose husband has died should be stoned to death for starting up another relationship is the perfect example of taking religious tolerance way, way too far.

Just wondering: Do libertarians take Labor Day off?

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | September 6, 2010 9:15 AM

Carlie:

Just wondering: Do libertarians take Labor Day off?

You know they do. They're prolly spending the whole day bitching about socialists.

Posted by: Birger Johansson | September 6, 2010 9:17 AM

If this stands up to scrutiny, it should be interesting...
"Variations in fine-structure constant suggest laws of physics not the same everywhere" http://www.physorg.com/news202921592.html Re. the anthropic principle, I think Leo Smolin had a theory about this that might be falsified/verified by the fine structure constant. No, I do not recall the details.

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | September 6, 2010 9:27 AM

Josh the geologist is also missing long time.

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | September 6, 2010 9:39 AM

Nerd:

Even if they can't properly define what socialism is. Like Obama is a socialist...NOT.

So true. So sad.

Libertarians don't deserve to take Labor Day off until they recognize the positive impacts of the labor movement in the US. Until then, back to work, idiots!

Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM | September 6, 2010 10:02 AM

BTW, Swedish cars are designed to survive a frontal collision with a bull moose from North Sweden -approx. the same weight as that bale of hay. The article does not mention if the seat belt was used.

Posted by: Menyambal: Making sambal (it isn't dragon magic). | September 6, 2010 10:27 AM

Well, that was definitely a freak accident. And here I imagine Devon as a place of rustic beauty, not a land of killer hay.

For folks from the city, a big round bale is large--roughly five feet long and five feet across--and weighs hundreds of pounds.

My brother had a deer jump onto his truck, kinda like that bale landed atop the van's front. It was ruled an act of God. In this case, the farmer is going to be liable.

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | September 6, 2010 10:53 AM

Penis? What would God do with a penis? I thought he fisted the baby Jesus into the womb of Mary?

Posted by: Rey Fox, Bird Caller Guy | September 6, 2010 11:06 AM

Huh. I was planning to just buy it from Amazon, but you can directly sell it?

Posted by: Menyambal: Making sambal (it isn't dragon magic). | September 6, 2010 11:57 AM

My Firefox is working fine.

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right | September 6, 2010 12:27 PM

I think I'm going to be sick. Racist Middle School Segregates Middle-school Class Elections. Where else? In Mississippi. And they're not segregating by eye color.

What a way to start a holiday!

I wonder how long this has been going on? Years, or did they just whip it up special for the Obama administration?

The school district is suspending this (policy? elections altogether?) while they consider whether it is appropriate.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | September 6, 2010 12:35 PM

Damn it. I'm probably going to get reamed for this but I need some help making a decision damn it.

TL discussion about furniture and money follows:

So Penney's is offering half off furniture for Labor Day plus a couple of promos.

I don't know how long my car will last (but probably another year at least), I need two new tires on the front within this year though, I promised my mom I'd help her pay to have floors replaced, I need a recording computer (desperately but that is faaaaar more expensive... probably than the car actually), but I also need a bed. Need or want?

Well I don't like buying furniture because I always figure I will just have to sell it at a loss when I move. Because, well, because that is true.

Sure you could argue I get my money out of the use of it, but I generally prefer to get my use out of whatever ratty salvation army piece of furniture I used until it broke or sold as a lot to some one who desperately needs super-cheap furniture.

However this is a pretty good deal. My rancid sagging mattress could be replaced with a nice fresh model. Ah but it's the bed I really want. So pretty, so nice... but I'd either have to sell it later or pay to ship or haul a damned bed in the unseen future where I always figure I'll move across the world but haven't yet.

The thing is I've just been sleeping on the bed and mattress that were in the house when I moved in.

The bed needed some shoring but it's basically functional (although nothing to look at), and the mattress is covered in bodily fluids (I dunno whose) and feels like a lump of rotten potatoes beneath me.

Thing is I sleep on the futon in the den most nights I'm home anyway because that's where I fall asleep.

So what i'm stuck with is a decision between a very good deal (I could get a whole new pretty bed that is like the bed I always wanted when I was a little girl plus a nice firm mattress that doesn't smell bad), or save my money for one of the things I privilege intellectually.

By the way, contrary to what some may think, I'm super cheap. That ring I was saying was probably too expensive but I wanted what which kicked off a shit storm, was also paste. It was plated tin. I'm a frugal motherfucker in reality.

Am I wasting money to buy a bed? Am I simply being suckered because it's half off and it's damned cheaper than anything new I've seen, but it really isn't what I should be allocating money for.

I'm also planning a trip and the cost of all that is roughly equal to the cost of my flights. Ack, it's annoying when I compare money allocations to other money allocations.

I usually talk myself out of buying anything. I don't think I've ever purchased a new piece of furniture in my life, for instance.

Not even a table lamp :/

So weird and difficult for me to decide. Hence I post it here.

Why?

Because I'll probably get yelled at for it but it's better than my other friends who all pretty much live in debt and buy whatever strikes their fancy at the moment.

Obviously they're going to tell me to buy the damned bed.

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right | September 6, 2010 12:36 PM

Clarification: the middle school in question reserves "higher" positions for "white" students. By Grade 8, "black" students can run for Class Vice-President. That's as high as they get.

On moose collisions: This is a result of a collision that the driver and only occupant survived with only a broken hand: Moose-car collision in South River. I think that's a small moose. My cousin told me of a close call where the first thing she saw was the moose's knee going by the side window.

The Canadian National Exhibition's air show started six minutes ago. It's a bit cloudy but I can hear the planes making their passes down at the lakeshore.

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | September 6, 2010 12:43 PM

Ol' Greg:
I didn't get past "and the mattress is covered in bodily fluids (I dunno whose)". Buy the damn bed.

Posted by: Part-Time Insomniac, Zombie Porcupine Nox Arcana Fan | September 6, 2010 12:51 PM

HAHAHA! Just finished re-installing Firefox after a system restore, and a virus scan which turned up nothing of concern. Works perfectly!

Now I just have to back up everything in case something like this happens again.

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right | September 6, 2010 12:58 PM

Ol' Greg, I'd be tempted to buy the bed. If I buy nice things that I use, I enjoy them every single time and don't regret the money.

OTOH, I'm still living with a mattress & box on a metal frame with a collapsed roller when I really need a bed frame, so the mattress wouldn't creep off the box, with built-in shelf for books.

Are you in a place that has Freecycle? Often quite nice things are there for the pickup.

Posted by: Pygmy Loris | September 6, 2010 12:58 PM

Ol'Greg,

I'm going to have to go with ODS here. If you have the money, and you know that this is a decent price on the bed, buy it. Sleeping on the futon is probably not good for you, too. Of course, only you can decide what you "should be allocating money for." For me, a good night's sleep is pretty damn important for both my sanity and that of the people who have to interact with me.

Posted by: Chgo_Liz | September 6, 2010 1:02 PM

Ol' Greg:

Speaking as someone who didn't actually buy a bed until I was about 46 or 47, I'll offer my advice: buy a decent mattress instead. Until you're sure you're settled somewhere for the long run, and/or can afford moving expenses without financial hardship, keep things simple. You don't NEED the bed frame, but you do need a functional, clean mattress.

This advice is partly due to the memories of a used bed that was given to me in my early 30's which was so big and bulky that it actually had to be stored for a while, and then when I moved to a more economical city I made the choice on which apartment to rent based solely on its dimensions. Ugh. Furniture should not own you.

Posted by: ronsullivan | September 6, 2010 1:04 PM

Burning Question:
God's Divine Penis: Circumcised or uncircumcised?

Simmering Question:
If circumcised, where's the Divine Foreskin?

Steve V, you can start all-night arguments in certain company by asking whether gulls are a/several ring species, and if so, which ones are in the ring.

For Labor Day: A Utah Phillips site

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 6, 2010 1:07 PM

Whoops, I see that my brother changed his website, so for book reviews and info that is easy to find, you need to go to my website instead. http://www.artmeetsadventure.com

Check the "Books" page.

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right | September 6, 2010 1:14 PM

The fundie comment about "How do bulls breed?" reminds me of something that I read recently: steers (castrated bulls) kept in feedlots will pick a steer as a victim and mount it over and over in turn, sometimes breaking its bones. The only solution is to remove the victim. This behavior is called "bulling" and the victim is a "buller." Preventatives seems to smaller groups of bulls (200 or fewer) and more than one or two feeding stations.

It's National Geographic Space Week and I've been seeing a lot of Phil Plait explaining astronomical catastrophes and phenomena with great enthusiasm.

Sili, you'll like this: "Religion is like a penis." Or as someone once
said, (approximately) "many people seem to derive pleasure from fiddling with theirs but should do so in private."

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right | September 6, 2010 1:41 PM

One of the most sensible ways to treat religion is as a private club: members can make the silliest rules but should not get tax breaks nor special deference about their morals nor a seat in government committees.

Posted by: Markita Lynda: Healthcare is a damn right | September 6, 2010 1:49 PM

Dana, black flies, tsetse flies, blood-sucking mosquitoes, giant centipedes.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 6, 2010 1:57 PM

Cheezits! I'd better just stop posting and drink another cup of coffee. For those of you that want to order directly from my publisher, here's the right URL:
http://www.caxtonpress.com/store/backcountry.html

Caxton Press should still have some autographed copies left. Leland and I autographed copies for them last time we were in Boise.

Apologies for bogus URL in comment 327.

Posted by: MrFire | September 6, 2010 2:13 PM

My copy of Backcountry Roads takes pride of place upon a pedestal constructed out of torn bibles and fossilized troll limbs.

If anyone tries to snatch it, a bunch of booby traps will activate, just like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | September 6, 2010 2:36 PM

I can't believe no one has linked to Pricasso as an example of another novel Oz use for one's schlong.

I read the God's Penis selection aloud to the family last night and I though Mr. M and the Spawn were going to have some sort of seizure from laughing too hard.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 6, 2010 2:47 PM

Lynna's book is on my list of things to buy. I just haven't had the spare money yet.

Wow Lynna nice. I just bookmarked your publisher. I think your book would make a nice present for a few people on my Christmas list...

My copy of Backcountry Roads takes pride of place upon a pedestal constructed out of torn bibles and fossilized troll limbs. If anyone tries to snatch it, a bunch of booby traps will activate, just like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Posted by: Katrina, radicales féministes athées | September 6, 2010 3:14 PM

Lynna,

Katrina, you were my second Pharyngula fan. And now I get to count your mother too.

I don't have a pedestal made of torn bibles and fossilized troll limbs, but I do keep your book on display with my other special "souvenir" travel books from around the world.

Posted by: Weed Monkey | September 6, 2010 3:16 PM

Once again I find myself temporarily but utterly out of money, so it was time to cook whatever I hadn't eaten yet. I give you something almost, but not quite entirely unlike huevos rancheros:

As a base and instead of tortillas I had barley rieska, a sort of soft flatbread.
fried eggs
a hash made of potato, onion, garlic and leftover turkey slices
cubed avocado (I was saving this for guacamole, but I was hungry and it was soft and ripe already)
some tomato & bell pepper chutney

Hardly orthodox, but delish.

Posted by: Birger Johansson | September 6, 2010 3:33 PM

Something for Pharyngula fans? Demonstration to restore Truthiness to America
http://scienceblogs.com/dispatches/2010/09/a_colbert_rally_to_restore_tru.php

"A seat belt wouldn't help, as the bale fell on the roof of the van"
Aren´t vans supposed to have a strong "cage" around the passengers? This makes me even more upset -in a complex collision you can get the front/back of another car on the roof, so the cage should be designed to absorb *a lot* of energy.
It is not like a mining vehicle who may literally have a rock fall on the roof, but the cage of a normal vehicle -let alone a big van- are nevertheless supposed to take a huge amount of punishment, deform enough to absorb energy but keep the people alive.

Posted by: JeffreyD | September 6, 2010 4:08 PM

Per my above, realize I am from that part of America that says bed and just means the mattress and box springs. The frame is something else. I like a nice frame, but would rather spend the money on the actual sleeping surface. That said, have a gorgeous California king bed frame with lots of wood, iron work, and places to which ropes can be attached.

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | September 6, 2010 4:15 PM

Ol'Greg,

I sympathise. Personally I really hate spending money, especially on stuff that depreciates rapidly in value. (Hence why I'm glad I don't need a car.)

However... beds are pretty important. Sleeping on a malformed mattress can cause horrific back problems later in life. I'd say you should buy a new bed.

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | September 6, 2010 4:19 PM

(Yes, I'm an atheist who buys people christmas presents)

Me too. :-)

Posted by: Becca the Over Socialized | September 6, 2010 4:29 PM

just watched Phil Plait's Bad Universe, the first episode. It was kinda interesting, although Phil was a bit over the top, it seemed. I'll be interested in the other two episodes, but I can't figure out when they'll be airing.

Posted by: Josh, "Raquel Dommage," Porte-parole Gay Official | September 6, 2010 4:34 PM

Ol 'Greg - you're making a mistake not buying a comfortable bed. As Jeffrey says, it's a necessity, not a frill. I made this mistake for years, and paid for it in aches, pains, and bad sleep.

If you can't afford the whole new mattress, buy a Serta Ultimate memory foam topper, 4-inches thick. I just got one, and it's miraculous. No, you can't skimp and get the thinner ones, or a brand of lower-quality. Expect to pay about $160 on overstock.com.

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | September 6, 2010 4:40 PM

The answer as far as I see it is heavily leaning to the side of Britain being overly apologetic, in a frantic attempt to appear non-racist.Just look at Walton's utterings on the issue here.

*sigh* Okay, Rorschach, I'll bite.

In a free society, Muslims should have the same right to freedom of religion and expression as everyone else. And I get very pissed off with the right-wing xenophobic lobby using radical Islam as a bogeyman to justify authoritarian policies.

I'm not defending fundamentalist Islam, by any means. Like all forms of fundamentalist religion, it's batshit insane. And no one denies that Islamic theocracies are vicious.

But radical Islam is not, by any reasonable standard, a major threat in Western countries. In Britain, less than 4 percent of the population is Muslim, and only a small proportion of those are radicals. The proportion in the US is even smaller. I grew up in a community with a sizeable Muslim population: I can attest from personal experience that the overwhelming majority of British Muslims do not harbour any radical or fundamentalist sentiments, and are no different from anyone else. I don't share their beliefs, but that doesn't justify prejudice against them.

Furthermore, it is absolutely undeniable that, in Britain and Europe as well as the United States, attacks on Islam are often very closely associated with the xenophobic right and with anti-Asian bigotry. I'm sure someone will trot out the tired old "Islam is a religion not a race" canard at this point: but in reality, rightly or wrongly, Islam is very strongly associated in the public mind with Asian immigrant communities. (Just look at the way some protestors against the "Ground Zero mosque" have hurled racial abuse at passing Asians, whether actually Muslim or not.) Over here, radical anti-immigration groups, like UKIP (which Pat Condell supports) and the BNP, actively use Islamophobia as a transparent rhetorical cover for anti-Asian racism. I'm not suggesting that everyone who criticises Islam is a xenophobe: but I am suggesting that critics of Islam need to be very careful to dissociate themselves from the xenophobic lobby.

And I don't know where you're getting your belief that Britain is being "overly apologetic" to radical Islam. I'd like to point out that the last UK government substantially lengthened detention without trial for "suspected terrorists", and introduced "control orders" to place them under de facto indefinite house arrest: measures which have been used almost exclusively against Muslims. And there is a massive amount of popular prejudice against Muslims over here, which, as I've explained, is intimately linked with racial prejudice against Asians and with the xenophobic far-right.

Honestly, I'm far, far more afraid of xenophobia and authoritarian "anti-terror" policies than I am of radical Islam. I think it should be pretty clear from what I've said that I am not defending radical Islam. Rather, I'm defending civil liberties. If we want to live in a free society, we have to extend freedom and civil rights even to groups with whose ideas and values we vehemently disagree.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 6, 2010 5:04 PM

Feynmaniac @349

If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol

I also loved the dissertation on god's penis. All of the entries in the Fundie Quote Off provoke laughter, but it's laughter of the pained variety, and is accompanied by groans.

I'm not going to read anymore of these because I'm tired of trying to keep my brain from fleeing my head. It's hard to type and hold my head at the same time. My brain is in search of a cranium that does not subject its resident to earthquakes of cognitive dissonance, abysses of misogyny, and coma-inducing contemplation of bulls evolving without cows ... not to mention the nightmarish quality of that last "lol."

Posted by: blf | September 6, 2010 5:10 PM

It's hard to type and hold my head at the same time.

Presuming you are holding the head (your head, I presume, but it doesn't really matter who's head) with your hands, and have more-or-less the usual humanoid anatomy, they learn to type with your nose, toes, or have an extra arm fitted.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 6, 2010 5:17 PM

I don't have a pedestal made of torn bibles and fossilized troll limbs, but I do keep your book on display with my other special "souvenir" travel books from around the world.

MrFire once since me a link to a video that implied the memorabilia on one stalker's wall was mounted stuck to the wall with semen. This still makes me laugh ... and I'm still horrified.

Just to be clear, it was not a video of MrFire masturbating. (I don't want to arouse Josh's jealousy.) MrFire is hawt ... but his brain is wired in weirdly disturbing and charming ways.

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | September 6, 2010 5:21 PM

I just found out that the bodega that I frequent has started keeping their candy bars in the deli case.

Cold Kit-Kat? My day has been made. :)

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 6, 2010 5:26 PM

To continue our discussion of foreskins and other holy relics or penis parts:

In 1983, as the residents of Calcata, a small town 30 miles north of Rome, prepared for their annual procession honoring a holy relic, a shocking announcement from the parish priest put a damper on festivities. "This year, the holy relic will not be exposed to the devotion of the faithful. It has vanished. Sacrilegious thieves have taken it from my home." Not since the Middle Ages, when lopped-off body parts of divine do-gooders were bought, sold, and traded, has relic theft been big news. But the mysterious disappearance of Calcata's beloved curio is different.
     This wasn't just the residuum of any holy human—nor was it just any body part. It was the foreskin of Jesus Christ, the snipped-off tip of the savior's penis, the only piece of his body he supposedly left on earth...

Posted by: David Marjanović | September 6, 2010 5:31 PM

Brace yourselves. This catcher-upper is long, for I have, indeed, caught up.

First things first:

[Jadehawk], consider subverting the child. Wince and say "Ow!" when she does anything nasty to the cat, ask her if she likes to be picked up whatever way, poked, etc. There's a hell of a big excluded middle between throwing the cat around and "treating it like a child."

Sounds good to me (except it's probably obsolete now).

Or tell her that her parents are practicing on the cat and she's next. OK, well, don't.

*snort*

so, today i got the "this is my house, my rules" speech yelled at my face. I'm going to go insane. Not even my mom pulled that one on me when I was a teen.

Unlike some other people, your mom seems to have understood that you didn't choose to live there.

(BTW, you wrote a four-screener. I wonder if that's a bad or a good sign. :-þ )

they're "expecting" it to be a battery-powered plush-toy. you take it out of the closet to play with it, and when you're done you put it back into the closet, where it will patiently and motionlessly wait until you take it out again. And they get pissed when it doesn't behave like that, and punish it.

I'm easy to impress, I read something flabbergasting on the Internet every day, I could headdesk and facepalm all day long.

But that's one of the more extreme examples.

overheard from downstairs: "some homeless person living upstairs, playing animal activist. some people should just move back to their country".

I'm THIS fucking close to deciding spending the winter in my car is a better option than living here.

(also, same person is informing someone that Amsterdam has no crime at all because drugs are legal there. and he knows this because he's smart from watching TV. the Dunning-Kruger, it burns)

Does Caine's offer extend to your boyfriend? If yes, throw him and your netbook into your car right now and then see if you can find Almont. If it doesn't, throw just your netbook into your car and...

I've not the faintest clue how my boyfriend managed to become the person he is in this environment.

Books? Internet? Meatspace friends?

(Books especially have had a huge influence on me. But... that doesn't sound like the kind of family where he'd have had access to a lot of books. :-S )

I do wonder how he avoided going insane, though.

I'm planning on taking my boyfriend away from these people pretty much permanently (i.e. get him to move to Europe with me eventually)

That's good to read.

as a matter of fact, i'm now going to think pointlessly vengeful thoughts about informing them that I'll be taking their youngest child/baby brother away from them, and telling them, in a sweet voice, that it was their suggestion for me to move back to my country

In your place, I'd do that as soon as... practicable. :-(

And I probably shouldn't be airing their dirty laundry on the internet, but this is my only outlet for my frustration right now.

Please vent as often as needed.

Seconded.

boyfriend has given up complaining/trying to explain anything to them. They don't even listen to him when they ask him for advice.

For crying out loud.

I'm sure we could get you a phone/walkie-talkie and a rubber mask. Noöne'll be surprised if Nixon steals a cat - par for the course.

LOL!

But, seriously, Jadehawk... it seems to be extremely easy to buy a cell phone or two, and is Minot really too small for a pair of walkie-talkies being on sale somewhere? If money is a problem for that, we absolutely can help.

============================================

Now to all other topics.

Why would you want to live when all your family and friends have been killed, and everything which makes life worth living has been destroyed?

To make sure religion doesn't end up filling in the vacuum again. Also, after just finishing A Canticle for Leibowitz, the idea of wanting to perserve scientific knowledge for future generations springs to mind (the book has a very different idea than me of the role of the Church would play in this).

QFT.

(Haven't read that book, but I've read something about it on teh intarwebz... IIRC, the Wikipedia article is very detailed. Don't want to look it up now.)

But Kel said it best. For sex.

:-)

"perserve" sounds about right for the Church's role in that book

Heh.

Archaeologist Tired Of Unearthing Unspeakable Ancient Evils

So full of win.

The music was actually so quiet that if anyone talked, it almost drowned it out. Perhaps we were a bit over the top with our respect for the neighbors, but I can assure you that a wonderful time was had by all even though our ears weren't bleeding.

:-) :-) :-)
:-) :-) :-)
:-) :-) :-)

I thought everyone had to bonk Walton at the magical Pharyngufest.

Oh, not me, darling. I'll sit in the corner with David, getting him to talk sniny fangs to me while protecting his virginity and Rorschach, keeping a keen eye out to who would be a good hook up for him.

Sounds good... :-)

Toothy goodness: 1, 2

Combining the two threads XCIX and C, there are over a thousand comments... and yet, not one noting that "XCIX" should have been simply "IC"?

It should not have been. IX is correct, but IL and IC are just not done. Similarly, XC is correct, but XD and XM have not been found in the wild.

Waiters and bartenders in the US are exempt from being paid the minimum wage. Read that again until it sinks in.

I'm stuck in a closed loop. Help me out, please.

many of them earn less than three dollar per hour. 11 years ago, I was earning $2.18 per hour from my employer when the minimum wage was more than $5 per hour.

Fucking speechless.

I can't bring myself to not tip when in Europe

Tipping is considered more or less obligatory in restaurants in Europe, the tip is just not expected to be quite as high as in the US. (It's very rare that "service is included" in the price.) I've never heard of tipping at bars (...but what do I know about bars in the first place). Underemployed academics Taxi drivers are tipped, though.

East Asia is where tipping is, or so I hear, regarded as an insult.

Probably just thought I was a clueless American and left it at that.

Nah. 2 € on a 12-€ bill is less than 20 %, that's AFAIK within the normal range.

(I don't normally go to restaurants either.)

The one I remember most is doing a job for John Wayne.

Wow. Even I know who that is. :-þ

but I don't think I could ever be a socialist. It just isn't in me to endorse nationalisation of industry, for instance, or upper limits on CEO pay, or taxing the rich into oblivion.

On that last point, didn't Andrew Carnegie pay 90 % of his income in taxes?

I can easily think of several tragic movies (Reservoir Dogs, Pan's Labyrinth, Thelma and Louise, etc*)

I've always been surprised at the tragic ending of Thelma & Louise. The original, Das doppelte Lottchen, has the happiest ending possible (book and b&w movie both).

Walton, serious question - will you expand upon your dislike of government? You use the word as something of a vague monolith, but there are many types of governments. A dictatorship is a government, and so is one that elects leaders every year. You talk about them all as if they were all the same and all equally bad.

The clearest example I can cite is the horrific, barbaric mess that we call a "criminal justice system". I know I've talked about this at length before, but I'll make these points again.

In the UK and US, we imprison vast and fast-growing numbers of people

But... Walton... that's not a worldwide trend! Neither is rape in prison common the world over.

You've confused a goverment (or two) with the government, I think.

And doesn't Switzerland have a mostly successful government by referendum? CAlifornia has the unique misfortune of being in the USA, where people do not fucking understand why they need taxes.

That's another way to put it!

(Though even in Switzerland not everything goes through a referendum.)

Really, Carlie, I'll be honest: I'm 50 percent of the way to being a socialist, even though I rarely admit it to myself.

Damn... did I really write that?

Go figure. :-/

*blurt*

LOL!!!
:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

<facepalm>

Reportedly, some 65 percent of French voters support the deportation. Now you see why I don't have very much faith in democracy?

Ha. That's Sarko trying to pander to xenophobes and ignoring the Schengen treaty in the process. It's completely illegal to prevent law-abiding Romanians or Bulgarians from freely moving into and in France. I'm waiting to see if the court will buy the laughable excuse about everything being voluntary.

They have delusions that they'll make it big and we better not tax the super rich because I'm gonna be one of them right soon after I buy own plumbing company!

Speaking of which, what happened to Joe the Unlicensed Plumber?

I thought Poe's Law only applied to religious conservatives / fundamentalists? Libertarianism isn't a religion. (Though admittedly some of the Randian Objectivist fanatics exhibit cult-like behaviour.)

See comment 36 (which someone should put up on RationalWiki if it hasn't happened yet). The guy in question is a Randian... and if it were currently fashionable to be a Stalinist or Maoist, Poe's Law would apply to them, too; we're just never confronted with examples.

Or almost never. Bob Avakian complaining that freedom of conscience means to treat ideas as personal property, while he'd prefer to collectivize them? That's pretty far gone. I don't doubt he's serious, but without context I couldn't really be sure.

Any system that relies on reciprocal altruism is vulnerable to cheaters. In any society that's larger than a hunter-gatherer village, you can't rely on human memory about individual interactions to ensure reciprocity, you need some formalized structures and concepts like "laws" and "money" and "companies" and "governments" to keep track of the outcomes.

See? That's the kind of thing you got your Molly for.

And... *blushes* I will confess to a slight crush on Abby.

Arghhhhh ! I'd paint the Israeli chick's toenails, tho.

Really? I find her a bit scary. :-/

Now I want photos.

Personally I dislike camping. The only camping I've ever done was with the OTC, and that was a military exercise, not recreation. I can't imagine ever choosing to go camping for fun.

Eh, my camping experience with the Boy & Girl Scouts wasn't that bad, in spite of the cold, wet weather (...the tent was completely watertight). The scenery just happened not to be worth it.

(OK, it was that bad, but that's because I didn't actually have any friends there.)

Some creationist bull:

Without hard evidence, I refuse to accept that that alleged creationist might have been serious.

I was camping once. I got giardiasis.

:-o

<facepalm>

For crying out loud.

Just popping in to say that I heard from strange gods and he's OK.

Good!

Surprisingly, ricetaste does not actually leak or even evaporate. I assume you are using wild rice. The warmth and humudity incites the ricetastes migratory instincts. I would recommend using some combination of a cooler steam and a more domesticated rice. It should taste like chicken if your doing it properly.

It wasn't wild "rice"; but it's entirely possible that my brother, not very experienced in such things, turned the heat up too much.

Ow[h]yhee Mountains

Named, BTW, after o Hawaiʻi. (O is the definite article or something.)

I was going to add the Herring Gull and the lesser Black Backed Gull because of their status as a Ring Species, but then I came across this:

Hey, thanks. I had heard of that paper, but hadn't got a hold of it.

So what i'm stuck with is a decision between a very good deal (I could get a whole new pretty bed that is like the bed I always wanted when I was a little girl plus a nice firm mattress that doesn't smell bad), or save my money for one of the things I privilege intellectually.

What JeffreyD and Josh, OSG, HKFFG said: in any case, buy the mattress. If you don't sleep well, you can't think well, and there go all "the things I privilege intellectually".

My cousin told me of a close call where the first thing she saw was the moose's knee going by the side window.

Probably wasn't the knee but the ankle. Or the wrist.

Posted by: Dania | September 6, 2010 5:33 PM

If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol

I'm in awe. The stupidity, the misogyny, the apparent self-complacency, the lack of punctuation... and the "lol" at the end. Too perfect.

I think we have a winner.

Posted by: David Marjanović | September 6, 2010 5:36 PM

My USB port thanks you. It kept the temple rub for itself. I just can't get no satisfaction.

Subthread won. Twice – because you got that in just before my excruciating twelve-screener! (Took pretty much the entire day to write.)

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) | September 6, 2010 5:50 PM

*waking abruptly*

[...]a 666 mile long penis in Mexico.

Yeeees. Do go on....

Ol'Greg, if you don't go for at least a new mattress, please at least get a topper of some sort! If only to prevent nausea and possible vomitting on the part of your Pharynguphriends! "Unknown bodily fluids" does not sound good, and it can't be sanitary.

My copy of Backcountry Roads takes pride of place upon a pedestal constructed out of torn bibles and fossilized troll limbs.

If anyone tries to snatch it, a bunch of booby traps will activate, just like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

So, what's the rest of the dungeon like? And what level of adventurers is it rated for?

I'm hell on beds. Something about being over 350 lb. I should probably get another mattress, or at least a very thick mattress topper.

Just don't stack the new mattress on top of the old one. A friend of mine used to 'adopt' any mattress that anyone in our circle of friends was replacing, and throw it on the heap/wallow.

If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol

And if u rape more than 1 women, in Gods eyes are u poligmusly married? Marriage is s'posed to be between 1 man and 1 woman but what can we do lol
[/pairuhdee]

Posted by: Dania | September 6, 2010 5:54 PM

And what if a man rapes another man? Um? What happens?

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | September 6, 2010 6:05 PM

I'm not sure there really are any winners in a Fundie Quote Off.

Also, I forgot to put the link for my last quote. Here it is.

Posted by: Patricia, OM | September 6, 2010 6:17 PM

Damn you're long winded David Marjanovic! :)

Posted by: Pygmy Loris | September 6, 2010 6:30 PM

Looks like the racist middle school has decided to desegregate their elections.

I'm actually still reading sub-thread XCIX, but I wanted to relate my experience working in the low-wage service sector.

While I was working as a cashier at Walmart, I routinely worked shifts on Saturday and Sunday that began at 10:00AM and ran until 9:00PM. Over the course of 11 hours I got to sit down exactly 1 1/2 hours (1 hour for lunch and two 15 minute breaks). Truthfully, your fifteen minute breaks weren't really fifteen minutes because they started counting from the minute I locked my drawer up to when I got back, so the time spent walking back to the break room was part of my break (dog forbid I was stopped by a customer). Unless you have stood in one place for nine or ten hours, it's really difficult to explain how much pain one feels. The bottoms of my feet would actually get bruised from the pressure, especially on days when lots of people came through my line with heavy bags of pet food and such.

The only relief from standing was when our lines ended and we had to "red-line" (walk up to the space at the front of the registers and wait for a customer to come up), or "zone" the merchandise (which meant straightening up the displays around our registers and collecting items that had been left by customers). By the end of one of these shifts I would actually be limping to the car from the pain in my feet.

At both Walmart and my two fast food jobs, one might notice that there wasn't anywhere for employees to sit except in the break room. I guess they just didn't want the drones to have any temptation to look like they weren't working. Barbara Ehrenreich covered the actual physical pain of most low-wage occupations in the USA in Nickel and Dimed: On (not) Getting by in America. On top of that, there's little to no paid leave regardless of reason (including illness), so you work through all kinds of sickness. I regularly went to work as a cashier when I was quite sick with colds and such because I couldn't afford to lose a day's pay. The part of this that really bothers me is that I probably made a lot of customers sick too.

Oh, and since I worked at a Supercenter, the only guaranteed day off we had was X-mas. At least Walmart paid us for the holiday.

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | September 6, 2010 6:33 PM

Walton,

I'm sure someone will trot out the tired old "Islam is a religion not a race" canard at this point: but in reality, rightly or wrongly, Islam is very strongly associated in the public mind with Asian immigrant communities.

Good point.

OT: in North America 'Asian' typical means East Asian (e.g, Chinese, Japanese, Korean). In the UK, is the term more inclusive or does it just mean South Asian (e.g, Indian, Pakistani)?

Posted by: David Marjanović | September 6, 2010 6:36 PM

Someone please save the dumbest comments by "johnnie-gray" (Piltdown Man) for me (thread: Je n'avais pas besoin de cette hypothèse-là). I have to go to bed, and when I'll wake up tomorrow, PZ will have cleaned up.

Posted by: Dania | September 6, 2010 6:42 PM

Someone please save the dumbest comments by "johnnie-gray" (Piltdown Man) for me

Uh, okay, but... he has been commenting on that thread for some time and PZ hasn't cleaned it up yet. I don't know why.

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage | September 6, 2010 6:45 PM

I don't think johnnie-gray is Pilty. The writing styles and arguments are different.

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | September 6, 2010 6:57 PM

johnnie-gray admitted to being Pilty here and here.

Posted by: Wowbagger, Man-Hating Man of Pharyngula | September 6, 2010 7:13 PM

The appeals to Aquinas made me even more sure j-g is Pilty, but I think if PZ's left him here this long he should continue doing so.

Posted by: Dania | September 6, 2010 7:22 PM

but I think if PZ's left him here this long he should continue doing so.

Oh, I agree. I don't usually like when discussions are interrupted abruptly by his ban-hammer. I'm just wondering because PZ doesn't usually let banned trolls stay this long.

Posted by: Dania | September 6, 2010 7:39 PM

Oh, well. There goes johnnie-Pilty again.

Posted by: Patricia, OM | September 6, 2010 8:28 PM

Aww crap. I would miss Caine telling me where she is with hops ready. Mine are still brilliant lime green.

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 6, 2010 8:44 PM

Hitchens writes about "Free Exercise of Religion..." in today's issue of Slate.
Excerpt:

... Am I in favor of the untrammeled "free exercise of religion"?
     No, I am not. Take an example close at hand, the absurdly named Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. More usually known as the Mormon church, it can boast Glenn Beck as one of its recruits. He has recently won much cheap publicity for scheduling a rally on the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s March on Washington. But on the day on which the original rally occurred in 1963, the Mormon church had not yet gotten around to recognizing black people as fully human or as eligible for full membership. (Its leadership subsequently underwent a "revelation" allowing a change on this point, but not until after the passage of the Civil Rights Act.) This opportunism closely shadowed an earlier adjustment of Mormon dogma, abandoning its historic and violent attachment to polygamy. Without that doctrinal change, the state of Utah was firmly told that it could not be part of the Union. More recently, Gov. Mitt Romney had to assure voters that he did not regard the prophet, or head of the Mormon church, as having ultimate moral and spiritual authority on all matters. Nothing, he swore, could override the U.S. Constitution. Thus, to the extent that we view latter-day saints as acceptable, and agree to overlook their other quaint and weird beliefs, it is to the extent that we have decidedly limited them in the free exercise of their religion....

Posted by: Lynna, OM | September 6, 2010 8:57 PM

Jesus on a telephone pole:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/38955460#38955460

Posted by: MrFire | September 6, 2010 9:31 PM

Ah, nuts.

I now have my very own FSTDT moment to share.

See, I was recently sent an email from person X, concerning the recovery of person Y from major surgery (these are two people that I care about very much). Sadly, X demonstrated an all-too-familiar logic regarding Y's positive progress:

Infact, I would say it was somewhat miraculous because even the pain Y had after the operation (for the past 1 year) also disappeared. Scientifically, you could say that maybe it was due to the intake of another new supplement the doctor had given Y (Artrex - an herbal supplement of turmeric, ginger, winter cherry and Indian frankincense), extra dosage of Vit D, revamp of Y's diet to brown rice and a lot of cornflakes, but I personally think it was heavenly intervention that cured Y of all the pain.

If I ignore X's advocation of naturopathic remedies (and their labeling of the same as 'scientific'), I'm still left with those last, awful few words, in which they tragically steal defeat from the jaws of victory.

It just hits it home to see people I know and care about talking that way.

Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger | September 6, 2010 9:36 PM

I'm looking for a simple GSM phone for my dad. He currently uses a Nokia 6010, which he loves, but I'm worried about what happens if it were to break.

Are there any comparable phones out there? I have a Nokia 1661 (bought it for the T-Mo prepaid SIM), but it's crap in comparison. And the simpler (and more durable) the better.

He's on AT&T right now, but I might be switching him over to T-Mobile soon, if I can.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | September 6, 2010 9:45 PM

Katrina:

Thank you. Made my mouth water.

Of course, I just picked up some slab bacon at Wegmans (a 2 inch thick slice), along with some weisswurst, knockwurst, a generic German smoked sausage, and one other sausage. Next week, broiled slab bacon with assorted German sausages, spiced sauerkraut, spiced red cabbage, and potatoes with dill.

No special occasion, I just like going full-Monty German occasionally.

However, I'll be drinking Yuengling black & tan, so not accuracy there.

Posted by: Ogvorbis, Parenthetical Death | September 6, 2010 10:15 PM

A physical manifestation of metaphysical insanity?

But does kudzu believe in god(s)?

Posted by: Part-Time Insomniac, Zombie Porcupine Nox Arcana Fan | September 6, 2010 10:20 PM

My knees ache. I overdid it today. Well, I also got mixed up with the starting lines, gave up, and jumped into what turned out to be the 20k race instead of the 5k, but anyway, I wish I could take tomorrow off. Since I can't, I'll take it as easy as possible. No workouts, no playing with the kids unless it doesn't involve walking or running.

@Mr.Fire, #402: I misread "Artrex" as "Artex" at first and wondered why anyone would name a supplement after the horse from Neverending Story.

Posted by: Patricia, OM | September 6, 2010 10:49 PM

Caine - Thank your Mr. for the hops tips. So far I have made grown men cry by making about 1/2 a mile of lovely hops into wreaths...(there went Chimpy onto the floor) or drying them and mixing the hops with lavender for sleep pillows. Some guy wants both the Mt. Hood and the bittering Nina for beer this year. My husband made one batch of beer with the stuff and I told him it looked like Sasquatch piss to me (smelled like it too).

*Went out and checked* - Ninas & Mt. Hood papery and smell wonderful. I'll pick them tomorrow. Thanks!

Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe | September 6, 2010 10:59 PM

I didn't know it was possible to be hungry and nauseous at the same time... ugh :-/

Posted by: Part-Time Insomniac, Zombie Porcupine Nox Arcana Fan | September 6, 2010 11:15 PM

@Ben, #411: It would make things a bit easier. They could just have the runners turn off the course at a certain point and head back downtown to the finish line to make the full distance. I guess they don't bother because it could cause a bit of trouble for those bringing up the rear in the 5k. Either that, or they don't know if they could easily divert the runners to the rest of the course without clogging up the 20k.

Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger | September 6, 2010 11:58 PM

By the way, I went to a local children's park trying to get some photos of butterflies. Only got a couple.

Right as I showed up, the rain started, and between that and the children, the butterflies made themselves scarce. (The park was busier than I'd seen it before; last time, there were few kids and many butterflies.)

I forgot that my camera was still set to ISO 800. No wonder my aperture was so narrow (and therefore my depth of field was so deep).

Here's a weird shot of a statue. I like it, anyway.

The only photo this butterfly held still for. The rest of the time, he was flitting around.

Obligatory, cliché flower macro photo...

(MT held my previous comment, so you'll have to browse the remaining photos yourselves.)

Posted by: Benjamin "pardon my French" Geiger | September 7, 2010 12:03 AM

Jadehawk:

We're too busy with all of our outdoor fuckin'.

Posted by: Pygmy Loris | September 7, 2010 12:12 AM

Jadehawk,

Wikipedia has the scoop. Apparently it's because of the association of the May Labor Day with the Haymarket Affair, so those damn anarchists not the commies this time.

Posted by: Orange Utan, Librarian of Death | September 7, 2010 1:30 AM

@Jadehawk

why don't Americans celebrate Labor Day on the same day as the rest of the world, i.e. May 1st?

Rest of the world don't all celebrate Labour Day on the same day.

Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe | September 7, 2010 1:39 AM

Jadehawk is pregnant?

Posted by: Hekuni Cat, Champion of Oriana | September 7, 2010 2:15 AM

Caine:

I screwed up my back something ferocious yesterday, shooting bull riders

I hope your back feels better soon.

Posted by: 34jlg34 | September 7, 2010 2:59 AM

Katter with the Libs, Windwor and Oakeshott with the Labor Party. Finally. I am so relieved that i know Abbott will not be prime minister. The Young Lib punching bags on my facebook newsfeed are whining already, complaining that it waan't the democratic process, and this from a guy more obsessed with parliamentary process and tradition than anyone i have known before.
The ALP staffers are heaps happy though.
And i am happy to report that at east one of them is in strident opposition of neoliberalism. Happy days.

Posted by: Rutee, Shrieking Harpy of Dooooom | September 7, 2010 3:08 AM

I find it interesting that Hitchens claims Freedom of Religion's exception should be polyamorous. Why the hell should anyone care what they're getting up to, aside from divorce lawyers with $s for eyes? Seems like the only exception to freedom of religion (as a private citizen) would be when your religion attempts to impede on the rights of others.

Posted by: 34jlg34 | September 7, 2010 3:13 AM

:\ sorry about the typos.

Posted by: windy | September 7, 2010 4:02 AM

Mattir:

I had a lovely time learning about mushroom identification today, except when the group began discussing how various mushrooms "stimulated the immune system." Given that I have a (fairly innocuous) autoimmune disease, I think immune system accuracy might be more useful than stimulation. I wanted to learn about mushrooms, so I just directed the conversation back to mushrooms instead of leaping up and challenging the woo.

You might not want that particular effect from mushrooms (and maybe the group was a bit vague on the details) but that doesn't necessarily mean it's woo.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beta-glucan#.CE.B2-glucan_and_the_immune_system

Therapeutic effects of substances occurring in higher Basidiomycetes mushrooms: a modern perspective.

I don't know if you can get meaningful amounts by eating whole mushrooms, though.

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | September 7, 2010 4:46 AM

#345: For what it's worth, the whole middle-road thing started as a cheesy setup for my mid-Atlantic joke. But I do tend to agree with what you said there. Well done, you!

Posted by: SEF | September 7, 2010 5:21 AM

Incidentally, "Pope Benedict XVI will lead Mass in Birmingham's Cofton Park on 19 September" but will he be talking like a pirate? The world needs a speech recognition system connected to a pirate translator (like PZ used to have on old pharyngula) and speech synthesis to re-broadcast the pope's speech appropriately (eg for people of the FSM faith).

Posted by: Walton, Marquis of Carabas | September 7, 2010 5:24 AM

Incidentally, "Pope Benedict XVI will lead Mass in Birmingham's Cofton Park on 19 September" but will he be talking like a pirate? The world needs a speech recognition system connected to a pirate translator (like PZ used to have on old pharyngula) and speech synthesis to re-broadcast the pope's speech appropriately (eg for people of the FSM faith).

I wonder how the Ave Maria would sound in pirate-speak?

Posted by: Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe | September 7, 2010 5:49 AM

I wonder how the Ave Maria would sound in pirate-speak?Ahoy Mary full o' grace, the Capt'n be wit' ye, bles't ye're among the wenches, and blessed be t' fruit of yer loins, Young Jes. Mary, mother o' the Capt'n, be ye prayin' for tis here wretched scoundrels, now an' when we be fed to tah fishes. Arr!

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | September 7, 2010 6:25 AM

On therapeutic substances being found in mushrooms: I know that useful stuff is found in fungi. The problem is that the person in question was discussing tea made from polyphores and its benefits for everyone, not research on developing new medication targeted to specific conditions. The lack of specificity and the reference to traditional Chinese medicine set off the woo-detectors.

Posted by: David Marjanović | September 7, 2010 6:56 AM

Here's some male privilege in academia.

In better news, the next two generations of antibiotics could come from frog skin slime and, as already mentioned in comment 436, from the brains of cockroaches and grasshoppers. This includes stuff that kills Streptococcus aureus and Acinetobacter baumanni, the latter being a common cause of hospitalism.

In similarly good news, the next generation of photovoltaics could come from part of the photosynthesis apparatus plus carbon nanotubes. The trick is that it sort of self-repairs.

Finally, here's some toothy goodness and some anatomical evidence for the hypothesis that cats are people. (Big cats anyway.)

no, he isn't going to get any replacement-day. he'll just have one less day off this week.

Fuck that shit! That wasn't in the... oops. There is no contract. It's America. Right? <facepalm>

Is this the real reason the plant has taken over the South? A physical manifestation of metaphysical insanity?

Sure. Facebook, too, is about to turn into meatspace kudzu.

hungry and nauseous at the same time... ugh :-/

:-(

gestational is a word?

Google says yes.

...It's easy to explain what's going on with Jadehawk. Extreme agitation* makes my belly flutter, sort of; prolong that, and nausea cannot help but result. At the same time, stress makes some people hungry; Jadehawk has said she's one of those. Combine that, and I'm not surprised.

* Fortunately very rare. The incident I remember best is when there was a virus on the family laptop. I downloaded a new antivirus program and let it run. The virus was detected inside several system files. I chose the option to delete the files, thinking I could just copy them back from the reinstallation CD later. But no, some part of Windows watches if all system files are still there, stopped everything, and demanded a reinstall. Reinstalling Windows means to lose lots and lots of data. I didn't cry a lot, but I pretty much broke down physically for maybe an hour. Now imagine the horror Jadehawk is going through. :-S Words fail me as usual.

(Absolutely no pun intended.)

Say "full stop" next time.

A little film analysis for y'all: The science of Jurassic Park!

Rob DeSalle & David Lindley (1997): The Science of Jurassic Park and The Lost World or, How to Build a Dinosaur. BasicBooks/HarperCollins.

Either the joke is too subtle for me or David has ingested some substances he doesn't normally ingest. In what sense is Thelma & Louise the same story as The Parent Trap?

<wikipedia>

...Oh for crying out loud. <headdesk> I had never watched Thelma & Louise, that's what's going on, and didn't know about the existence of The Parent Trap. What I know about Thelma & Louise is the ending, and that I know from a documentary that, IIRC, was about Das doppelte Lottchen and its influence on later films. Looks like I overinterpreted that "influence" part rather drastically. For all these years I've been thinking Thelma & Louise was an American adaptation of Das doppelte Lottchen, maybe the way one of the early spaghetti westerns is close enough to some samurai movie that a lawsuit was filed.

Note to self: Wikipedia first.

I wonder how the Ave Maria would sound in pirate-speak?

Jadehawk wins :-)

In other news, we have swapped the drought for floods.No golden mean for Australia, no Sir.

That's among the reasons why agriculture never developed in Australia till it was imported, fully grown, from a couple continents away.

Posted by: Dania | September 7, 2010 7:18 AM

feel like much wasting time

*blinks*

Yeah, something went wrong there...

Posted by: SteveV, Death's Pissant Haberdasher | September 7, 2010 7:39 AM

(megalomania)

why don't Americans celebrate Labor Day my birthday on the same day as the rest of the world, i.e. May 1st?

WELL?

(/megalomania)

Posted by: SteveV, Death's Pissant Haberdasher | September 7, 2010 7:47 AM

Artex is a horse?

Posted by: Antiochus Epiphanes | September 7, 2010 8:04 AM

Wow...I didn't know Artex was anything but a fictional horse.

Posted by: Rorschach | September 7, 2010 8:11 AM

Just watched the weirdest movie, Steve Buscemi as buddhist monk in The Chosen One.
Guess they don't make non-ironic movies anymore.

Posted by: JeffreyD | September 7, 2010 9:18 AM

Caine -

I screwed up my back something ferocious yesterday, shooting bull riders

How do you get the bull riders into a shot glass?

Hope back is better, sending you a virtual massage.

Posted by: David Marjanović | September 7, 2010 9:47 AM

Hm, David, do you happen to have any free-time you could dedicate to... taking a look at the "Shrinking taxa..." thread? I think that thread would benefit immensely from the presence of a paleontologist but you probably don't feel like much wasting time with it... :-/

Haaa! :-D I didn't see this comment before now. I went to that thread because it popped up in the "Recent Comments". :-)

I've already wasted half of this day, so... :-|

the giant right index finger

Ummmmm.... the one who points Forward™ into the Great Socialist Future™ is Lenin, not Muhammad.

Posted by: Chgo_Liz | September 7, 2010 10:11 AM

Jadehawk @ #443-4:

*sniff*

That was beautiful. Just beautiful.

Posted by: Chgo_Liz | September 7, 2010 10:20 AM

Carlie @ #452: I have a 7th grader too! but our middle school starts in 6th grade, so no trauma over here. She took an hour getting ready, sure, but otherwise was calm, cool and collected.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | September 7, 2010 10:46 AM

Oh and I had my first pharyngula member dream last night.

I blame the cough syrup.

It was *drumroll*

RORSCHACH.

Yeah, I dreamed Rorschach mailed me a pair of gloves. They were fucking awesome. They were like latex or patent leather or something, super shiny and they had an oil slick sheen like a male grackle's feathers. They were well made though, nice detailing. In fact they matched a pair of Via Spiga shoes I have with that kind of colorfully reflective surface. I was excited about the matching.

I woke up disappointed that my fabulous gloves were a thing of my imagination though :(

Posted by: Dania | September 7, 2010 10:59 AM

I dreamed Rorschach mailed me a pair of gloves.

LOL! I think I've had a couple of pharyngula member dreams too. They were a bit weird. I'm not sure I want to write them down, they don't even make much sense in my head. But... yeah.

Posted by: boygenius | September 7, 2010 11:15 AM

I dreamed Rorschach mailed me a pair of gloves.

No glove, no love.

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | September 7, 2010 11:32 AM

In other news, we have swapped the drought for floods.No golden mean for Australia, no Sir.

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | September 7, 2010 12:18 PM

cicely
That cake is adorable.

Ol'Greg
I had a Pharyngula dream a few weeks ago. It featured Ring-Tailed Lemurian. I have no idea why. I guess his stories stick with me. I would've assumed all of my satan-spawning would've counted for something, but no, I get the guy who described 50-year-old transgender surgical techniques using the peeling-an-orange metaphor.

Oh, and the whole dream was text.

Posted by: Mattir-ritated | September 7, 2010 12:55 PM

In other news of the weird, Delaware's Tea Party candidate is against masturbation.

Talk about Sisyphean goals.

The sexist brain thread has people's panties in a twist about the obvious. Plus brobroxley made a stupid (but to my mind, funny) joke. The spanking couch awaits...

Now off to dissect earthworms with teenagers.

Posted by: Qwerty | September 7, 2010 12:57 PM

Bit late to post on the video that kicks off this string but it reminds me of this line from Dirty Dancing:

She can't even do the merengue.

Maybe Johnny Castle should have taken the dog to the Sheldrake Hotel?

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | September 7, 2010 1:03 PM

This is what happens when you don't write articles and bother finishing your ph.d., kids.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20085322

The long-sought-after crystal structure of Fe(tpa)(NCS)(2) (1, tpa = tris(2-pyridylmethyl)amine), an otherwise well-studied spin-crossover (SCO) complex, has been obtained, and its one-step, incomplete spin transition was correlated to its solid-state structures at different temperatures.

Upon exposure to methanol vapor, single-crystal-to-single-crystal transformation of 1 to a new SCO compound, 2, formulated as {[Fe(tpa)(NCS)(2)] x [Fe(tpa)(NCS)(2) x CH(3)OH]}, occurs with a dramatic color change from yellow to red.

Studies by magnetic measurements and Mossbauer spectroscopy revealed a two-step complete spin transition for compound 2, between LS-LS and HS-HS, via an unambiguous intermediate LS-HS phase; the two SCO centers of disparate spin states were resolved crystallographically.

--o--

Bitter? No, why do you ask? It's not like I have anyone to blame but myself.

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage | September 7, 2010 1:10 PM

Birger (@460):

Two more urgent spaceflight problems: 1. Prevent space-sickness. 2. Invent zero-gee toilet that is comfortable to use.

These are admittedly important needs for future long-duration exploration missions, and for commercial/recreational space travel. But the business of devising new dishes for astronauts to eat, and then engineering the conversion from earthbound food to flightworthy rations, is a matter of supporting current operations, which is a whole different bucket of priorities from future development work.

More generally, it's hard to imagine any activity compared to which one couldn't imagine a related-but-more-important activity; should we therefore reject everything on the grounds that something else is more important?

Without better solutions, very few will pay $$$ to stay in orbit.

I'm quite sure this is true in the long term; in the short term, not so much: Do you notice the guide rich folks up Everest business withering due to the lack of swanky bathrooms or three-star food? For that matter, high-altitude mountaineering has its own equivalents (and worse) of spacesickness, yet the available expedition spots are, AFAIK, oversubscribed. In the near term, while space tourism is still seen as a high-end adventure, a certain amount of physical privation will remain A Feature, Not a Bug@reg;.

Posted by: Nerd of Redhead, OM | September 7, 2010 1:25 PM

Now off to dissect earthworms with teenagers.

Posted by: blf | September 7, 2010 1:35 PM

Picturing Mattir picking up a teenager and using it to slice open an earthworm instead of a scalpel.

Makes sense. Why do things the hard way? As I understand it, using a teenager to slice open an earthworm is indeed easier than using a teenager to slice open a scalpel.

This seems like one of the better uses for teenagers. Main problem is there's only so many sliced open earthworms you need each day.

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) | September 7, 2010 1:45 PM

Maybe the teenager is holding a scalpel? That still seems like doing it the hard way.

Posted by: ronsullivan | September 7, 2010 2:03 PM

*Picturing Mattir picking up a teenager and using it to slice open an earthworm instead of a scalpel.*

That's one sharp kid!

Rorshach, I swear to Asclepius that Cozaar™ makes me stoopider. Also, recovering from even "minor" surgery takes one's edge off for a while, IME.

It's a slog getting past that state, Peez, but it doesn't have to be permanent. Be nice to the nurse but you're allowed to be a dick to your doc about this.

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | September 7, 2010 2:12 PM

Thanks, MrFire,

I appreciate it, and it is a pretty ligand - a favourite of my late supervisor, but

And I had a cool crystal structure, too.

One?! I had twenty at least! Different solvents, slew of different temperatures following the transition.

And nothing to show for it, because I'm an idiot who didn't ask for help when needed it.

::headdesks::

Posted by: blf | September 7, 2010 2:13 PM

Which do you need? Houston, or the rain?

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | September 7, 2010 2:19 PM

How do you get the bull riders into a shot glass?

I have to say that getting the bull riders out sounds easier, though.

Posted by: MrFire | September 7, 2010 2:25 PM

One?! I had twenty at least!

Should have said some structures, I guess. It was part of a mechanistic study into the reaction that I was trying to develop and optimize. We thought that they would be intermediates in our proposed catalytic cycle, but they turned out to be either way too reactive or completely inert. The one I'm most proud of was an alkylmetal that had never been seen before, and to my knowledge, still hasn't been reported. For some reason, my advisor wasn't interested in publishing it - possibly because by itself it would not been a JACS paper, and my advisor was only really interested in JACS.

Posted by: blf | September 7, 2010 2:30 PM

My teenagers are rather dull

A bit of polishing and you should have some sniny teenagers. However, I've never tried, so perhaps that won't work. The only major repair I ever tried on one was taking one that wasn't quite in shape to the blacksmith. A few minutes in the forge, and then some wacks with a hammer whilst on the anvil, and problem solved.

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage | September 7, 2010 2:35 PM

I don't know what strikes me as stranger: The candidate's King-Canute-like notion that it's even vaguely possible to hold back the tide of wanking, or anybody's notion that one's opinion on wanking is in any way relevant to a political campaign. With the possible exception of Surgeon General, under what government official's purview (at any level of government) could wanking possibly fall? The very idea is (forgive me) inconceiveable!

Posted by: Silič O'Nopolitanopoulos, Färschdbischuf Beesknees aus Ulm und Klein Elguth, Elector Pharynguline. | September 7, 2010 2:42 PM

But really, there should not be much brain-doping going on at all !

I suspect that can only be done by doping him to the point where he cannot browse the Internet.

Posted by: 朴競花/박경화 (Gyeong Hwa) | September 7, 2010 3:04 PM

Feynmaniac intends to attack me when I'm not here. I intend to find him a gisaeng. Now the Pikachu will give you Misogyny with a dose of Sharia.

Jerusalem is dominated by Orthodox Jews with a large Muslim minority. Both of these cultures are patriarchal and anti-feminist. For example, in Jerusalem, there are many sex-segregated buses where men sit in front and women sit in the back. This is enforced by Orthodox Jews who, rightly, believe in segregating the sexes. My family rode on one of these buses and it was very pleasant. How is this enforced? Read how a stupid American bitch was beaten for failing to comply. Go Orthodox Jews!

This one too:

Sheik Hilali, Australia's Mufti since 1989, was quoted as saying: "If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the back yard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it... whose fault is it, the cats or the uncovered meat? The uncovered meat is the problem."

He added: "If she was in her room, in her home, in her hijab [Islamic headscarf], no problem would have occurred."

The Egyptian-born Sheik also appeared to refer to a series of notorious gang rapes in Sydney by a group of Lebanese Muslim men who received long prison sentences. He said there were women who "sway suggestively", and wore make-up and immodest dress, "and then you get a judge without mercy [who] gives you 65 years... but the problem all began with who?"

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | September 7, 2010 3:08 PM

With the possible exception of Surgeon General, under what government official's purview (at any level of government) could wanking possibly fall?

And if a Surgeon General voices a rational view of masturbation they will be fired.

Posted by: SteveV, Death's Pissant Haberdasher | September 7, 2010 3:12 PM

Just read the Huf Po piece on the AntiWank&trade candidate.

Yes, I am a Christian. Yes, I do seek to surrender my entire life to the will of our Father. That is precisely why I don't talk about abstinence or secondary virginity

Posted by: 朴競花/박경화 (Gyeong Hwa) | September 7, 2010 3:17 PM

Isn't browsing the internet synonymous with slacking?

I thought I was synonymous with a certian NSFW activity?

Posted by: blf | September 7, 2010 3:21 PM

The Inquisition.

Wow, I didn't expect that!

No-one ever does.

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | September 7, 2010 3:23 PM

somebody unplug AE, please

WTF is 'secondary virginity'?

born-again do-over

Posted by: AJ Milne OM | September 7, 2010 3:27 PM

A. J. Milne said that it was abusive to say "" to your children. So, Matzke has a point... Calling religious indoctrination of children child abuse, as some of the commenters seem to be doing, puts you in the same camp as people who, when they are told "Under the law in our country, abortion is not the same as murder," say "But we think it should be so we're going to talk and act as if it were."

Monado, AJ Milne said, specifically, that it's abusive to say to a child the following: 'Believe the following or you're going to be tortured for all eternity... and here's a nice little properly visceral description of burning flesh dripping from your own bones to drive it home.'

... and as I pointed out, this kind of specific behaviour (which, by the way, was exactly and specifically what Dawkins was talking about, in the article that so garnered complaints) is abusive under quite standard definitions of abuse. See 'terrorizing'.

The argument isn't that any religious indoctrination is child abuse. The argument is: specifically threatening and inducing terror is child abuse.

As to your claim that it's equivalent to the abortion claim, no, absolutely not.

Under the law, abortion is not murder. Full stop. Legally the fetus isn't a person, full stop.

In contrast there are any number of therapeutic opinions that terrifying people with extreme threats is abuse.

Note also that outside this context, those opinions would hardly seem controversial. It's saying that much to say convincing a child they're going to be violently physically tortured if they don't do as they're told would be abusive?

Considering this, I'd add that honestly, outside this being a religious belief, I strongly doubt anyone would excuse such behaviour. If you, say, invented a fictional violent figure who's going to torture your child if they don't do as you command, but didn't have a religious tradition that established this particular claim as normative, you'd probably be in deep trouble, in many jurisdictions. Beyond this, note also that if you actually threatened your child yourself that you'd do with brimstone what the devil is allegedly planning to do, you'd be facing charges forthwith.

So no, Matzke does not have a point. Matzke keeps trying to talk about traditions without actually mentioning what they are, and trying to generalize to say: but if you forbid this, what stops you from forbidding religious inculcation in general?

The answer is: this practice is specifically harmful, specifically abusive, and that's the argument for stopping it. Privileging it as a religious belief, and thus somehow special, and thus allowing behaviour that would be otherwise considered abusive, that's the argument that's being made here, smuggled in the back door, as it were. It seems less jarring, perhaps, because this is a fairly common thing: many, many culturally dominant faiths carry around this legend... and because the harm is in the area of emotional abuse, not physical abuse...

But it's still abuse by quite standard definitions. And, again, I expect it would be uncontroversially so if it weren't, again, for the cover of religious tradition conferring privilege upon it.

Posted by: «bønez_brigade» | September 7, 2010 3:29 PM

Hind-legged hound's hare-brained hominoid high-jinks are halfway hysterical.

Posted by: Dania | September 7, 2010 3:33 PM

Holy crap, Pikachu, one of those quotes would have been enough, don't you think? You're just cruel.

I'm nauseousnauseated.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | September 7, 2010 3:37 PM

Damn it AE. LOL.

Posted by: Bill Dauphin, avec fromage | September 7, 2010 3:38 PM

Feynmaniac (@511):

It was precisely that (eminently reasonable) Surgeon General I had in mind.

Posted by: Carlie of the lacy, gently wafting adjectives | September 7, 2010 3:41 PM

Oh wait, I forgot I ditched the quotes section of my facebook page in the big purge of '10. Guess I'll just have to make it my status then.

*studiously trying to ignore AE's comment*

*failing*

*stifling 14-year old-type giggles*

Posted by: JeffreyD | September 7, 2010 3:45 PM

Same way as you get babies into goldfish bowls: blender.

Thanks Sili, no idea where my mind is, I blame the drugs.

Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier | September 7, 2010 3:52 PM

Bill Dauphin,

It was precisely that (eminently reasonable) Surgeon General I had in mind.

I don't need to know who you have in mind when you ...'fire the Surgeon General'.

:p

Posted by: Ewan R | September 7, 2010 3:58 PM

In other news of the weird, Delaware's Tea Party candidate is against masturbation.

I assume there are accompanying pics in which said candidate sports double wrist braces.

Posted by: blf | September 7, 2010 4:03 PM

To the man with a blog everything looks like a post.

I first read that as: To the man with a dog everything looks like a post.

Posted by: SteveV, Death's Pissant Haberdasher | September 7, 2010 4:06 PM

Did I stumble on something with AntiWank&trade?
I see a product here.
Now, should it be a mechanical device, chemical (Dorset Naga hand cream perhaps) or electrical?

Perhaps we could get backing from Kellogg's.

Posted by: JeffreyD | September 7, 2010 4:19 PM

Oh yeah, Jocelyn Elders, used to masturbate to her all the time. What? TMI? Really? Buncha prudes.

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | September 7, 2010 4:26 PM

Hey PZ and Pharynguloidites! Here's a cause to get behind and all it needs is your attention. Following a suggestion from a random internet post on Reddit, a group of folks have started a campaign to get Stephen Colbert to host a rally at the Lincoln Memorial in DC to mock Glen Beck and the Teabaggers. 'Restoring Truthiness' has its own website already:

http://www.colbertrally.com/

and Facebook site:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=150942998258775&ref=mf#!/group.php?gid=150942998258775&v=info&ref=mf

Help make it happen!

Posted by: blf | September 7, 2010 4:30 PM

True fact: As a teenager, for many years I sincerely believed the old wives' tale that said activity makes one's eyesight deteriorate.

Another sad case of a teenager who wasn't used to cut open earthworms. Parents! That's what happens when you don't keep your teenagers sniny, sharpened, and slicing.

The only worse thing you can do is leave them alone where concrete cows are known to roam. The consequences are so unmentionable no-one's dared tried it, except in a secret lab on the planet, er former planet, between Mars and Jupiter.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | September 7, 2010 4:33 PM

blf: Whatever you are on. I want you to share it with me.

I will pay.

You people are extra funny today!

Posted by: JeffreyD | September 7, 2010 4:40 PM

Walton - Yeah, the old George Carlin routine, "it is ok to prick your finger, don't finger your prick".

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | September 7, 2010 4:49 PM

There is way too little attention being paid to female masturbation, so I'm going to not-so-subtly throw out my second favorite euphemism*:

Flipping the bean

I invite others to join in. For the sake of Science. And Gender Equality. And Fun.

*First favorite is still stirring the macaroni salad

Posted by: Dianne | September 7, 2010 4:53 PM

I suppose that as long as they own the book, they're entitled to burn it.

Entitled to, yes. But given that they've been warned that their behavior is putting US troops at risk*, I'd call it an asshole move.

*Also Afghani and Iraqi civilians indirectly by making the US and other troops more nervous and possibly angering the Islamic religious idiots enough to cause them to riot, but who cares about civilians anyway?

Posted by: JeffreyD | September 7, 2010 4:53 PM

Time for more drugs and a bit of reclining.

Jules, looking forward to the euphemisms you collect for tickling the taco.

Posted by: blf | September 7, 2010 4:56 PM

blf: Whatever you are on. I want you to share it with me.

A rather old chair that does a reverse fart whenever I get up? We'd have to snuggle together, it's really only wide enough for one. I suspect we'd wind up looking like Nataraja, which could make typing really interesting. (However, there wouldn't be room to dance, and I suspect we'd probably frighten the mouse. It's wireless, so it could get quite a ways away….)

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | September 7, 2010 5:04 PM

*First favorite is still stirring the macaroni salad

And I still don't get it except to think "gross" though.

I had to teach myself when I was way older than people probably think. I did it mostly because I realized it was actually embarrassing never to have done it :/

Yeah... I know. I know. Something's wrong with me.

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | September 7, 2010 5:11 PM

And I still don't get it except to think "gross" though.

Think texture and sound more than motion.

I did it mostly because I realized it was actually embarrassing never to have done it :/

*jaw drops* I've always just done it because it's extremely fun. I hope you your initial motivation for trying it doesn't remain the only reason you ever do it.

(And when I say always, I mean for as long as I can remember. Guess I was an early bloomer.)

Posted by: McCthulhu is taking ∞ to eat all the pi | September 7, 2010 5:22 PM

Windy, #556: The demands of the sane people get presented ad nauseum. Did you miss the Bataan Death March of getting even a shoddy, watered down version of health care into the books and miss the backlash of trying to restore Wall Street reforms?

Making meek demands gives you Tea Baggers, Texas schoolbook revisionism, Teach The Controversy, Creationist Museum, socialism is evil, burn the witch, etc. Sometimes a good verbal smacking around and overt dickishness are necessary to make people ponder their whacko ways. Plus, one hesitates at an opportunity to mock Glen Beck nationally at their own peril.

Leaving alone a mormon who thought it appropriate to bogart King's speech anniversary for the agenda of a group of people whose majority would like to see the country rewound to pre-'60s 'charm' makes no sense whatsoever. Harry and harrass are basic Sun Tsu. Colbert would make an excellent leader for this kind of counter-day raid.

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | September 7, 2010 5:24 PM

I hope you your initial motivation for trying it doesn't remain the only reason you ever do it.

LOL! Now that would be sad on a few levels. No, I was just kind of a late bloomer with a lot of other things on my mind I guess.

I was actually really fascinated by sex, but just not that into myself I guess. It's never been that amazing a feeling to me :/

Posted by: Algernon, elle sans chapeau | September 7, 2010 5:29 PM

There's a feeling I keep getting in my stomach whenever I see I've gotten a message from her; it's kind of tingly and uncomfortable, but I like it. I think I recall feeling this way a long time ago...And she seems to feel the same way.

Awwwww... isn't it nice how emails from certain people can just make you inexplicably joyful! :)

Or neurotically nervous...

but whatever.

Congrats anyway :D

Posted by: CJO | September 7, 2010 5:31 PM

Awwwwww. Twue Wove.

Posted by: cicely (Inadvertent Phytocidal Maniac) | September 7, 2010 5:35 PM

We've got the same sense of humour, tastes in music, and, er, we've mostly just been writing long emails filled with non sequiturs to each other.

What with the masterbation conversation, there's no way this won't sound suggestive, but....

It sounds like it's time to take it to meat space.

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | September 7, 2010 5:38 PM

Congrats, Brownian. It's good to know it hasn't hampered your sophomoric spidey senses.

No, I was just kind of a late bloomer with a lot of other things on my mind I guess.

Good to know. I'll lay off my Masturbation Evangelism, then. *pockets a stack of tracts*

Posted by: Jules, Bride of Death | September 7, 2010 5:47 PM

The only time I've ever been able to replicate those orgasms as an adult was after abstaining from masturbating for two months

How the hell did you pull that off? I haven't made it more than a week, regardless of how often I was getting laid, and even then it was because I was sick. I have noticed that abstinence does aid in sensitivity, but I'm just not very disciplined. At least I've never used electronics in my endeavors. Or toys of any kind really. Unless a penis counts as a toy. That's probably helped make up for the regularity of it.

Posted by: Dhorvath, OM | September 7, 2010 5:58 PM

Were your arms broken? I don't understand otherwise.

Posted by: Brownian, Most Vicious & Petty of Pharyngulites | September 7, 2010 6:03 PM

Joking aside, I'd just been dumped by the ex* the first time at 19, and decided it was a good idea to go treeplanting (it wasn't**). In my youth, in times of extreme feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness, I turn to asceticism and self-denial, and masturbation was one of those things I gave up while planting.

*I've written about her in past incarnations of the thread.

**I think that was the closest to actually being bugfuck nuts I've ever been. I'd like to say I enjoyed my experience, but I can't. I just remember some incredible vistas, some interesting experiences, me being very odd***, and a lot of emotional pain.

***For instance, I'd take burnt sticks, sharpen them, and cut myself with them, telling people I was engraving mystic tree spirit symbols into myself to aid in planting better.

Posted by: Dhorvath, OM | September 7, 2010 6:07 PM

Ok, I can't relate with self inflicted wood ash tatoos either.

Hope your new interest burgeons into something brighter.

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage | September 7, 2010 6:12 PM

Invent zero-gee toilet that is comfortable to use. Without better solutions, very few will pay $$$ to stay in orbit.

Instructions for the toilet in the film 2001.

Posted by: 'Tis Himself, Quel Dommage | September 7, 2010 6:25 PM

Brownian, OM #572

My father had one of those vibrating massager things for his rotator cuff or whatever bullshit high school football injury turned him into a fat, lazy asshole.

I didn't need a football injury to turn me into a fat, lazy asshole. I came by it naturally.

Posted by: Dania | September 7, 2010 6:29 PM

So, a full year after putting up a profile on OK Cupid, I finally seem to have met someone. We've got the same sense of humour, tastes in music, and, er, we've mostly just been writing long emails filled with non sequiturs to each other.

Awww, Brownian. Congrats. Happy for you and for her. :)

Posted by: Dhorvath, OM | September 7, 2010 6:44 PM

@GHP,
Sex education isn't just for diseases, eh? These things need to be taught, no one should have to be alarmed about something so normal.

Posted by: Part-Time Insomniac, Zombie Porcupine Nox Arcana Fan | September 7, 2010 6:48 PM

Y'know, Brownian's antics made my one foray with self-inflicted injury seem almost sensible. Anyone remember that film "Jungle 2 Jungle" with Tim Allen? Let's just say the part where the boy had to prove his manhood by touching a burning stick fascinated me. Apparently the old ways of passing into adulthood were more interesting to me than the modern ways. (I was only like 10 at the time though . . .neh.)

Re: masturbation (TMI ahead) - Sensitivity is an issue with me, especially with that, ah, little nub women have. The feeling borders on outright pain when it's touched. According to one of my guy friends, there are ways to enjoy oral without hitting that snag, but I've yet to learn what they are.

I think maybe my first time was way back in third grade, which was I think around the time puberty hit. Toys are nice, but the ones that always seems to work best is my own hand. And now that I've done my share of TMI, how about:

What's your favorite masturbation fantasy?

Posted by: Sven DiMilo | September 7, 2010 7:02 PM

masturbation fantasy

Oh, I don't fantasize about it at all. If it occurs to me, it's usually easy enough to just sort of go right ahead and do it.

Posted by: David Marjanović | September 7, 2010 7:16 PM

Got some work done! Hooray! :-)

<sitting down>
<crying with Sili>

Congratulations to Brownian, however! :-)

Why should I do my own research when I can just take advantage of your SIWOTI syndrome, right? :P

Right :-)

xkcd wedding cake.

:-}

Oh, and the whole dream was text.

My first dream that featured a Pharyngulite consisted only of me reading the Endless Thread. No face, just a name.

Here's how my brain got around the fact that I didn't know how the Pharyngula commenters featured in my dream looked like: everyone was wearing a mask, except for me.

That... is... ingenious. :-o

In other news of the weird, Delaware's Tea Party candidate is against masturbation.

what a jerk-off

:-D

Isn't browsing the internet synonymous with slacking?

That's an exaggeration. I've occasionally looked for papers on Google Scholar recently, mostly for work, and even found one or two.

Here's some male privilege in academia.

Blaming the PI may not be very useful in this case, see Cloud's comment #26 and responses.

Come and see the male privilege inherent in the system!

:-(

I wonder if Katharine, implying that it was the postdoc's fault for choosing to reproduce, is the same commenter that often laments the excess of stupid people? Since that would be, like, ironic and stuff.

Seconded.

the largely decorative use of the “Dr.” prefix that Jones appends to his name and which Germans take rather seriously

Understatement of the year.

Kitten(s). It crossed my mind that one could have a friend remove the kittens through some slight-of-hand, e.g. you shove them into the back yard, they lure them into the next yard, a few days before you move out. Discard any collars.

That requires a friend in the next yard...

Jeffrey, shhhhhhhhhhhhh!

...

Hang on a second.

One day, at about 9 years old, I discovered it could be applied to my junk with interesting results.

How did you... at that age... get the idea of... applying... ???

(Actually... I'm not sure I want to know that.)

[...] I slid off the chair and ended up on the floor as a quivering, seizing mess.

...Interesting. :-S

Since I didn't not what semen was at that point I had thought I contracted something. True story.

That must have been scary. :-S :-S :-S

Posted by: Birger Johansson | September 7, 2010 7:19 PM

Someting that will be more effective for well-being than a million woo crystals:
"Addressing negative thoughts most effective in fighting loneliness"
http://www.physorg.com/news203097903.html
--- --- ---
"Especially if some clown has uploaded SCORPION STARE to the CCTV cameras in the area."
[lightbulb moment]
-Are there any CCTV cameras at the place for the next major Tea Party rally?

Posted by: 朴競花/박경화 (Gyeong Hwa) | September 7, 2010 7:26 PM

Are there any CCTV cameras at the place for the next major Tea Party rally?

China Central TV covers Tea Party rallies?

Posted by: David Marjanović | September 7, 2010 7:35 PM

This could be another double post.

China Central TV covers Tea Party rallies?

I don't think they have anything against portraying Americans as dangerous madmen.

(I, too, always think of Chinese Central TV first when I see "CCTV". It's "closed-circuit TV", which doesn't actually make sense...)

Posted by: John Morales | September 7, 2010 7:38 PM

Has it been noted that Australia now has a new Government with Gillard as PM?

Gillard gets down to business

Posted by: Audley Z. Darkheart OM, purveyor of candy and lies | September 7, 2010 7:40 PM