Cookies & booze & lesbians

A few people have noted in the comments that Conservapædia's hot new front page topic is "Atheism and Obesity" — we're all supposed to be humongous wobbling lardasses, as if that is some kind of rational argument against an intellectual position ("you're fat!" kind of shot its bolt in grade school, and really doesn't weigh heavily in a debate beyond that). The poster boy for stupid atheist fatsos, unfortunately, is me.

Poor, poor pitiful me. I'm crying tears of self-pity right now.

Rebecca Watson has a reply to that nonsense, and she noticed that I've lost a few pounds lately (so…Rebecca was checking me out, hmmmm?), so comes to the only logical conservapædian conclusion: I must be converting to Christianity. I'm so surprised!

I think that's a great rallying cry for atheism: We have cookies & booze & lesbians! I'm afraid it won't entice me back into the fold, however: cookies aren't on my diet at all, I'm limiting myself to at most one beer a night, and why would lesbians, sweet as they are, have any special appeal to me? I'm only into heterosexual women (actually, woman) for obvious reasons.

So sorry. I guess I'm going to have to continue my backsliding. If ever I show up at a talk skinny and raillike, you'll know I've become a fundamentalist. And if I gain any more weight, why, I must have become a lesbian.

More like this

The NYTimes ran an excerpt of a book called Rethinking Thin: The New Science of Weight Loss -- and the Myths and Realities of Dieting by Gina Kolata. Having read the excerpt -- I haven't read the whole book -- I take issue with how Kolata frames the issue of the genetics of obesity. My problem…
The godless seem to be making some people desperate and angry and worried — the stupid arguments have just been flooding in, and I've had to exercise some restraint, or every day would be a day for yet another long "religiots are nuts" post. So I've saved them up and will throw them out with fairly…
What's gotten into the Huffington post? There's a flood of entries making fun of Christian self-pity. Two possible interpretations: liberals are all god-hating elitists, or fundamentalist fanatics have made easy targets of themselves lately. I'll let you guess which hypothesis I favor. Laugh long…
I got yet another comment about how much weight I've lost today, from somebody who's only met me a half-dozen times. Apparently, I used to be quite the fat slob, or something. Anyway, for those who care, the third-quarter weight-loss figures are below the fold, including a spiffy color graph.…