Pharyngula

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This one is from Bad Pitt. Read it while keeping in mind that we atheists are the ones called militant extremists…while good Judeo-Christian lunatics have these sick, psychopathic, violent fantasies of murder and execution.

GLORIOUS BASTERDS

Inglorious Basterds is a Jewish psycho-fantasy based on the delusional notion of retroactive vengeance against Nazi forces in France at the end of World War II. It is an artful, but ultimately pointless, exercise in orgiastic gratuitous violence. The only redeeming value of this film is:

(1) The not so subtle encouragement of the viewing audience not to take contemporary evils lightly and to act before it is too late to avert their tragic consequences.

(2) The possible equation of suave and sophisticated Nazi SS officers with intellectual and academic elites in our own American society of the 21st century.

Thus I would like to propose a sequel to this film: Inglorious Basterds II, or more properly Glorious Basterds.

This would project the urbane and intellectual SS officers onto the modern American academic milieu, specifically the Darwinian Evolutionists, whose scheme is irrational, illogical, and with many destructive consequences for society at large.

Thus this is the delicious scenario I would like to see Quentin Tarantino render into a sequel:

Brad Pitt leads his gang of Jewish vengeance seekers (along with a couple of idealistic Gentiles) onto a modern American college campus. There they lay siege to the Department of Biological Sciences. They round up all the faculty members inside a large meeting room where they place them under armed guard and lock all doors and windows.

Then they order the department chairman to recite a script over the phone to FOX or CNN. The script would read thus:

To Members of the American Mass Media,

We professors of Biological Science at the University of ___________ are being held hostage by a band of spiritual fanatics who condemn us for disseminating anti-spiritual falsehoods and irrational myths disguised under the cloak of scientific respectability called Darwinist Evolution. These falsehoods, our captors maintain, have harmed the hearts, minds, and souls of countless numbers of American youth and have poisoned the entire culture at large against the reality of the Creator God depicted in the Hebrew and Christian Bibles. We are being judged as destroyers of society and traitors to America, whose Declaration of Independence clearly speaks of a Divine Creator. We have been given two options: to publically renounce our fraudulent evolutionist views and to live, or to stubbornly maintain these views and to die. We have one hour to decide our fates.

Then Brad Pitt randomly selects one of the faculty members to be shot and killed instantly, in an act of “natural de-selection”, just to demonstrate his determination. Suspense builds as the faculty members desperately seek ways to avoid further acts of “natural de-selection” as they recognize that they are faced with a choice of admitting their lives have been dedicated to disseminating a vile lie or to dying for what they know to be a complete deception. The professors attempt to engage in various philosophical and scientific arguments to dissuade the Basterds from their course of vengeance, and every so often the Basterds lose patience with their convoluted reasoning and randomly shoot and kill an academic offender.

In the end the surviving faculty members take a vote and decide to renounce Darwinism rather than their lives. Brad Pitt then tells them that though they have chosen wisely, they cannot get off so lightly and he proceeds to carve into their foreheads a large D to identify them wherever they go as former Darwinists who endeavored to destroy the fabric of American society with their anti-intellectual and God-hating ideas. And then he says: “I never realized that Nazis could come in any size, shape, color, nationality, or profession! Who would have dreamed that many of America’s own intellectual elites would turn out to be Nazis too?!”