…and this is a 
As you know, we're having a little contest to raise money for Camp Quest, and we've been competing to see who can raise the most money for a good cause. It's me standing alone against the team of Hemant Mehta, Jen McCreight, JT Eberhard , Digital Cuttlefish, Sikivu Hutchinson, Adam Lee, The Chaplain, C.L. Hanson, Matt Dillahunty, William Bell, and Greta Christina, which, as you can see, is grossly unfair — they needed at least twice as many bloggers more to stand a chance.
Now, though, they're gambling desperately to triumph in the home stretch — the contest ends on 1 June — and they're making grand promises about what they'll do if they win.
Adam Lee at Daylight Atheism has agreed to grow a beard.
Matt Dillahunty at The Atheist Experience will do an episode of the show in drag.
JT Eberhard of WWJTD? will shave his head and wax his legs.
Greta Christina will do karaoke.
Jen McCreight will learn to ride a bicycle, on video.
CL Hanson will organize a showtunes sing-along.
You all know what this means now, don't you?
TIME TO THROW THE FIGHT! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
I want everyone to turn it around and donate to the other team. Now that they've set the stakes, let's work together and push them over the finish line.
Man, these amateurs have a lot to learn about what it really means to be an evil atheist. The master will school them now.
Comments
Posted by: otrame
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May 27, 2011 10:12 PM
He he he.
I love watching a master evil guy at work.
Posted by: AKron
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May 27, 2011 10:12 PM
You're the evilist with your reverse-evil tactics!
Posted by: Amblebury
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May 27, 2011 10:14 PM
Perfect.
Posted by: 8poundanklebiters
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May 27, 2011 10:18 PM
To quote Ebenezer Dusk, Esq. (aka Eben):
"Oh, buWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!"
Posted by: Bertie B
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May 27, 2011 10:21 PM
[Monty burns]
EXELLENT!
[/Monty Burns}
Posted by: AHerdedCat
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May 27, 2011 10:23 PM
Now they shall truly know the power of the ATHEIST SIDE! Teach them, O Master!
Posted by: pieceofdebri
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May 27, 2011 10:27 PM
You have no moral compass, sir!
Posted by: https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawnSwAMGq8UNbaUabvVNuuUoyCJXWdvACl4
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May 27, 2011 10:34 PM
I'm part of the team too:
http://evolutionguide.blogspot.com/
I'm just not noticed because I'm not raking in the big cash.
Posted by: Mule Breath
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May 27, 2011 10:40 PM
Now if Matt did the karaoke and Jen grew the beard.... I'd make up the difference myself.
Posted by: KevinS
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May 27, 2011 10:43 PM
Let's think about this. Are we absolutely sure we want to see Matt in drag?
Posted by: larryboy1
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May 27, 2011 10:47 PM
That is deliciously evil!
Posted by: JohnnieCanuck
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May 27, 2011 10:47 PM
Absolute evil perfection will have been achieved if it were actually you who gave them the idea to come up with the stunts.
I laughed out loud when I got to the punchline. Clever!
Posted by: kaiserruhsam
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May 27, 2011 10:53 PM
Well played, sir. O that I knew I had money to spare. Damned grocery prices fluctuating.
Posted by: Kome
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May 27, 2011 10:55 PM
You're just doing this to avoid shaving your own beard and recreating that picture with your daughter, aren't you?
Posted by: gex
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May 27, 2011 10:57 PM
Wax his legs? I don't think he knows what he's signing up for...
Posted by: Patricia, OM
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May 27, 2011 11:09 PM
Say it isn't so Cuttlefish?!
Posted by: Cuttlefish, OM, CR
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May 27, 2011 11:14 PM
You are indeed a monster.
http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2011/05/monster-of-morris.html
(you'll all note I have nothing to lose--a fight to the finish benefits Camp Quest, so... lay on, MacDuff!)
Posted by: bertrand.le.roy.name
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May 27, 2011 11:23 PM
For this, sir, I bow to you. Impressively well done.
Posted by: Cerus
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May 27, 2011 11:28 PM
Brilliant!
Although on reflection now I've only nullified my previous donation in terms of the competition. What to do...
Posted by: Justicar
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May 27, 2011 11:43 PM
Hrm, now I just have to consider scale. Just to equalize the damage I've done to humiliating them by your victory, I have to compensate for that failing. So, $2n donation to reverse the trend en route.
Posted by: jcmccreight
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May 27, 2011 11:50 PM
Goddamnit.
Posted by: procrastinator.myopenid.com
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May 28, 2011 12:04 AM
just LOL.
Posted by: recovering catholic
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May 28, 2011 12:05 AM
No!!! Reverse-reverse tactics--I want to see PZ without a beard!
Posted by: chanson.exmormon
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May 28, 2011 12:31 AM
Now I feel like I should come up with a better offer.
I was planning to organize a show-tunes sing-along of songs from The Book of Mormon (the musical) -- with my Mormon and atheist relatives together -- then post some part of it to YouTube. And I will, but unfortunately, I can't do that until 2012 at the earliest (since I live in Europe and the rest of them live in the US).
Maybe I should offer to make something Camp Quest related out of Legos...? Any requests?
Posted by: Arkham
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May 28, 2011 12:48 AM
No, just no. If you throw your weight to the other side you are required (see sec. 198775.42.42 of the humanist code) to shave your beard as a show of solidarity with those you have crushed. If you do otherwise you are subject to censure under sec. 108239478.96.34, which leads to an affiliate status with the NCAA. For shame sir, for shame.
Posted by: skeptical scientist
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May 28, 2011 1:40 AM
Man, that is VICIOUS!
But truly, you can't help but admire the sheer brilliance of it. PZ just played his "Heads I win; tails you lose" card, and there's nothing they can do about it.
Posted by: Greta Christina
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May 28, 2011 1:51 AM
NOOOOOOOOO!
You're taking a dive? You fiend!
So if we win, you can say that this was your plan all along? And we have to make asses of ourselves in public?
[slow applause]
Well played, sir. Well played.
Posted by: spam.away.666
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May 28, 2011 2:02 AM
You're making Karl Rove jealous.
Posted by: Crudely Wrott , Drinking Solo Since Death's Back On The Wagon
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May 28, 2011 2:24 AM
Aha! Circularity! Roundness!!Sphericity!!
Cycles and wheels
Coming round again.
Circlet, ring, areola and hoop.
Annulus, armlet, grommet and loop.
Garland, corona, halo, and noose.
Meet themselves on returning
From time on the loose.
And waving, in passing
They call to each other,
"Meander. Go roundabout.
Just don't beat around the bush".
With apologies to Roget's Thesaurus.
Posted by: Crudely Wrott , Drinking Solo Since Death's Back On The Wagon
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May 28, 2011 2:31 AM
I have just now titled that garble,"Turnabout Is Fair Play".
Meant to do it first but forgot. Luckily, the memory came round just now, just in time.
Posted by: The Tim Channel
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May 28, 2011 3:11 AM
I'll use this moment to remind folks that my free flashlight app (works on all mobile devices) is still available. Use the money you'd save paying for an inferior flashlight app to help PZ win his contest with 'the enemy'.
The story of how I developed the application is included as well as the download link. You'll appreciate it because it's very science-y.
http://thetimchannel.wordpress.com/2010/09/24/free-while-supplies-last/
Enjoy.
Posted by: BaltimoreOriole
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May 28, 2011 3:21 AM
How sinful of you, PZ. But of course, that's why we become atheists. So we can sin all we want. And also because we hate God, of course.
Posted by: TheRatKing
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May 28, 2011 4:22 AM
No; just religion. Hard to hate a non-existent entity.
Posted by: hokasha
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May 28, 2011 4:27 AM
The pure evil of this post was so compelling, I just had to buy me this awesome entertainment package.
Hot beard action , drag, karaoke and bike stunts...
Who would not want that?
Posted by: Kobra
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May 28, 2011 4:31 AM
Y'know, I didn't know you were going to do this, PZ, but I'm not the least bit surprised.
You are the troll master. It's you.
Posted by: Warm Little Pond
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May 28, 2011 4:41 AM
This is going to be a very entertaining week if PZ loses. . er, I mean wins? wait. . . no. . . *head explodes*
Posted by: MinnieTheFinn, kaamea ateistifeministinarttu
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May 28, 2011 6:07 AM
Done.
Posted by: grudgedk
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May 28, 2011 6:56 AM
Yes. Yes he is. Not so much taking a dive, so much as weaseling out of shaving. :)But that shit isn't going to work...
Posted by: Hypatia's Daughter
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May 28, 2011 7:36 AM
#24 chanson.exmormon
How about a Lego orrery? I bet it would bring in a lot of bucks if you auctioned it off (but I don't think you have enough time to pull it off.)
http://ecg.mit.edu/george/lego/orrery.html
Posted by: Mr.Kosta
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May 28, 2011 7:47 AM
Problem, good guys?
Posted by: Zach
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May 28, 2011 7:48 AM
You are so evil that it hurts, PZ.
Posted by: Giliell, connaiseuse des choses bonnes
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May 28, 2011 8:40 AM
*gnarf*
Already did my share (for the other team, I got them as far as I could) and bank account is just groaning already :(
I'd love to see Matt in drag...
Oh, here's an idea: If you reach the 25.000 joint, you'll all do what you offered
Posted by: chanson.exmormon
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May 28, 2011 9:12 AM
#39 -- That Lego orrery is so cool!! Now my kids want to build it.
Unfortunately, I don't have the pieces, and it would be cheating to just rebuild something someone else already designed. That's definitely on the right track though. I will see if I can think of some other science-related creation I could make from Legos and auction off in time...
Posted by: billygutter01
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May 28, 2011 9:38 AM
I thought, for a moment, I'd clicked the wrong bookmark. "Phantasy Bondage" and "Pharyngula" are quite near each other in my list...
Posted by: Lurkeressa of the Less-Murky Non-Depths
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May 28, 2011 10:30 AM
If this works out, this will have to be added to the "real life" examples on the "Xanatos Gambit" page in TVtropes.
Posted by: Anton Kozlik
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May 28, 2011 10:48 AM
And, my dear Zachary, if you achieve truly EVIL ACTS, we will provide you with a white collar, prayer beads and a kissing ring.
Posted by: rystefn
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May 28, 2011 11:54 AM
Damnit, Lurkessa... I was totally going to say that.
Posted by: PZ Myers
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May 28, 2011 12:13 PM
OK, guys, why do the contributions for MY side of the contest keep going up? Are you rebellious minions, or what?
Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier
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May 28, 2011 12:23 PM
Evil this genius must be stopped.
These are the minions in the last act of the movie who finally grow a conscience and try to stop their evil overlord.
Posted by: evonauta
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May 28, 2011 12:34 PM
PZ, you really are a evil genius. I'm shocked!
Posted by: PZ Myers
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May 28, 2011 12:34 PM
Dammit. So that means I have to lower the portcullis, reinforce the drawbridge, and set the cauldrons of oil on the roof to boiling, in anticipation of the usual mob of howling peasants?
This gets so old.
Posted by: fly44d
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May 28, 2011 1:49 PM
PZ without a beard is not something I want to see.
One of my funniest memories as a kid is watching my little brother learn to ride a bike. I hope to watch Jen do the same. $100 to team Beat PZ!
Done.
Posted by: masksoferis
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May 28, 2011 2:15 PM
Ke ke ke. There goes $10 for the karaoke/bicycle/wax fund!
(There, also, the last time I'll use that sentence, too.)
Next, let's ask what the very cross people would bet against a conversion.
Posted by: pagandisciple
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May 28, 2011 2:27 PM
I'm not casting my vote 'til the bathing suit competition.
Posted by: ksevcik
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May 28, 2011 3:11 PM
Can't we all rebel and force a tie so they all have to embarrass themselves? Then everybody wins! Or loses, depending on your point of view....
Posted by: spam.away.666
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May 28, 2011 3:42 PM
The first rule of being an evil super-genius is that even your most well thought out plans are doomed to fail. Especially when you take 5 minutes to explain your devious plan to the protagonists while stroking your pet squid.
Unless you're playing Xanatos Speed Chess.
Posted by: First Approximation, L'esprit de l'escalier
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May 28, 2011 5:34 PM
Ha, Team Beat PZ almost caught up.
Posted by: Warm Little Pond
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May 28, 2011 7:23 PM
Oh my, Team Beat PZ is within $30.00! Nice!!
Posted by: cafeeine
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May 28, 2011 8:05 PM
Well, Team Beat PZ is ahead NOW... but will they remain ahead until June 1st? The tension mounts....
Posted by: tielserrath
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May 28, 2011 10:50 PM
I think we should keep donating to both sides...so they end up even. Then everyone has to forfeit.
After all, we want that picture, too.
Posted by: theophontes (θεός γαμώτο)
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May 28, 2011 10:57 PM
@ PZ
Ooops... I have been a bit late in coming to the party. Also I don't have a credit card (being a financial luddite), so I have shoved some cash into an envelope and bunged it in the mail. It will probably arrive late - so if you receive a letter from Hong Kong, feel free to spend the contents on beer.
Posted by: JohnnieCanuck
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May 29, 2011 2:19 AM
Now the optimum strategy for the about to be singing, bald, bearded cross-dressing on a bicycle crowd would be for they themselves to donate to PZ's side, no?
Posted by: Commodorewolf
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May 29, 2011 10:23 AM
so PZ has backed team beat PZ, does this mean that he is on both teams now and has to shave his beard no matter who wins? If Team PZ wins he wins and has to shave his beard. If his evil plot succeeds and team Beat PZ wins, then his evil plot wins and he has to shave his beard?
Posted by: Commodorewolf
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May 29, 2011 10:25 AM
so PZ has backed team beat PZ, does this mean that he is on both teams now and has to shave his beard no matter who wins? If Team PZ wins he wins and has to shave his beard. If his evil plot succeeds and team Beat PZ wins, then his PZ wins and he has to shave his beard?
Posted by: menckensghost
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May 29, 2011 10:49 AM
An impressive bit of Evil Ninjitsu. I throw another kitten in the cauldron in yr honor.
Posted by: =8)-DX
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May 29, 2011 11:14 PM
10$ says I am indecisive and an expert incognitive dissonance. My net contribution has removed not a hair from any of the contestants, although net hair length has increased in anticipation during this exchange.
Plus Matt should do two shows in drag I hope.