Oh, boy — Bobby Jindal’s new program to open up state funds to support all kinds of random nonsense in schools is going to have some interesting (that is, horrifying) effects. They are going to be throwing money at A Beka Books and Bob Jones University texts, and Accelerated Christian Education. What kinds of things will Louisiana kids be learning?

Science Proves Homosexuality is a Learned Behavior

The Second Law of Thermodynamics Disproves Evolution

No Transitional Fossils Exist

Humans and Dinosaurs Co

Evolution Has Been Disproved

A Japanese Whaling Boat Found a Dinosaur

Solar Fusion is a Myth

It’s not just science! Look what else they’ll learn:

Only ten percent of Africans can read or write, because Christian mission schools have been shut down by communists.

“the [Ku Klux] Klan in some areas of the country tried to be a means of reform, fighting the decline in morality and using the symbol of the cross… In some communities it achieved a certain respectability as it worked with politicians.”

“God used the ‘Trail of Tears’ to bring many Indians to Christ.”

It “cannot be shown scientifically that that man
made pollutants will one day drastically reduce the depth of the atmosphere’s ozone layer.”

“God has provided certain ‘checks and balances’ in creation to prevent many of the global upsets that have been predicted by environmentalists.”

the Great Depression was exaggerated by propagandists, including John Steinbeck, to advance a socialist agenda.

“Unions have always been plagued by socialists and anarchists who use laborers to destroy the free
enterprise system that hardworking Americans have created.”

Bill Clinton’s 1992 presidential win was due to an imaginary economic crisis created by the media.

“The greatest struggle of all time, the Battle of Armageddon, will occur in the Middle East when Christ returns to set up his kingdom on earth.”

Watch the video. It’ll show you that I’m not just making this all up.

Fortunately, the student body at my university is largely from the upper Midwest, so I don’t think we’ll have to worry too much about an influx of miseducated kids here — but other universities may have to look at Louisiana enrollments. How much remedial teaching do you want to do?


  1. #1 VAE
    June 20, 2012

    A Beka Book provides attractive, legible , workable traditional mathematics texts that are not burdened with modern theories such as set theory.

    What the actual fuck.

  2. #2 Uberjam
    San Antonio Texas
    June 20, 2012

    This could be really bad.

    How will this influence universities in Louisiana?

  3. #3 Albert Stiegman
    June 20, 2012

    One naturally turns to Orwell here. “If you want a vision of the future, image a boot stamping on a human face-forever.”

  4. #4 Craig McGillivary
    June 20, 2012

    Can somebody please explain what the fundies have against Set Theory. I am sure that their reasons are insane, but I’d like to know what they are.

  5. #5 Steven
    June 20, 2012

    Solar fusion is a myth?!? I’m so confused. What possible problem could they have with that?

  6. #6 jrkrideau
    June 20, 2012

    “How will this influence universities in Louisiana?”

    Presumably more out-of-state students, perhaps some of those “illiterate” Africans.

  7. #7 Steven
    June 20, 2012

    So I tracked down an explanation for the solar fusion denial.

    Basically they want to claim the sun is shrinking so they can claim it must be a young universe or the sun would have been too big.

  8. #8 DoctorWhy
    Indiana University of PA
    June 20, 2012

    The science points as supported by Jindal are largely insane with the exception of the environmental points–those are highly debatable. Some of the nonscientific points are also quite arguable, most notably the economic ones. Of course, using God to prove nonreligious statements is very unacademic. Not cool.

  9. #9 'Tis Himself
    June 20, 2012

    the Great Depression was exaggerated by propagandists, including John Steinbeck, to advance a socialist agenda.

    “Unions have always been plagued by socialists and anarchists who use laborers to destroy the free
    enterprise system that hardworking Americans have created.”

    Historical and economic revisionism to support the neo-con agenda.

  10. #10 Mithrandir
    June 20, 2012

    @Craig McGillivary: Set theory proclaims that there are different kinds of infinity, and some kinds are larger than others, and that can’t be right, because God is infinite and nothing can be bigger than God.

    I’m at a loss on the solar fusion thing myself, though. Maybe it’s something to do with the idea that the sun and the stars are the same sort of thing, instead of being separately created? What is this I don’t even.

  11. #11 Lenoxus
    the library!
    June 20, 2012

    The theological objections to the varities of infiity go back all the way to when Cantor proposed them.

    I’ve never quite grasped why. Surely a theologian, after seeing a demonstration that (for example) the set of irrationals is uncountably infinite, can just do the same thing as third-graders do, and say “Well, my God is even infinitity-est-er! Plus one!” It seems weirdly petty of God for him to worry that there might be more normal numbers than there is of… him. Which doesn’t even make sense, apples-and-oranges style.

    Seriously, is there some obscure passage in Psalms that cautions the Israelites against comparing cardinalities?

    (Note: I have not seen the embedded video.)

  12. #12 Mithrandir
    June 20, 2012

    OK, after reading the FtB thread, it seems that the problem with solar fusion is that it’s part of the evidence for an old earth. It’s basically something that can be substituted for X in the “syllogism”:

    The Bible says the earth is young.
    X means the earth could be old.
    Therefore, X is wrong.

    Next up, quantum mechanics is a myth! Not only does it say the earth is old, it says that you can’t know the exact position and momentum of particles (disproof: God knows everything). Look for the anti-QM curriculum to include ample Einstein quotes – for bonus points, in the very next unit they condemn general relativity because it promotes relativism! (I’m not making that last one up, it’s right there on Conservapedia. I dread lookin up QM there.)

  13. #13 Lenoxus
    June 20, 2012

    I suddenly had an odd thought about “fundie math and science”. What if one or two of these weird views they hold, like the rejection of solar fusion, doesn’t actually have anything to do with their Christian conservatism? What if there just happened to be this one relatively influential Christian conservative person who got it into their head that fusion is bunk, and then everyone else went along with it and is defending this idea simply because they think it’s actually, scientifically true, not because of their interpretation of the Bible.

    I mean, when you think about it, this is actually a somewhat charitable view. The fundies don’t just carve out exceptions to a general acceptence of science just to blatently squeeze in Jesus. They just have a different scientific method which produces crazy ideas in a non-preferential manner!

    But yeah, it’s probably just something to do with the young earth or supply-side economics or something.

  14. #14 Lenoxus
    June 20, 2012

    Ah, ninja’d by Mithrandir.

    The quantum mechanics thing is interesting. Don’t most physicists think that the nature of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle is that particles can’t “have” a position and velocity at the same time, or something like that? It’s not about conscious minds (whether mine, a scientist’s, or God’s), unless you hold to the fringe consciousness-causes-collapse view. Which, to be fair, is the popular understanding of what’s going on.

  15. #16 Random Passerby
    June 21, 2012

    …I’m really not sure whether to like this for you pointing it out, or dislike it for the fact that they are actually going through with this. That said, this is the exact reason why I hate living in the bible belt….being an atheist really sucks sometimes…

  16. #17 Barb Graham
    Cincinnati, OH
    June 21, 2012

    The state should be sued for Child Abuse! When these people get out into the real world, they will be the subject of ridicule or worse, and that ‘s a shame. This is not in the name of Christianity, it is Stupidism to the core, and pure evil!
    I know hwat you mean, Random Passerby from TN.

  17. #18 Dr.Howard
    June 24, 2012

    Well, obviously,the weapons grade stupidity from the Texas State Board of Education has leached into the drinking water in Louisiana.

  18. #19 Ludovic
    June 26, 2012

    If it were not for Jefferson, Chaplin, Hemingway and Pr Myers (and also Alexandre Calder) one would despair of the American psyche.

  19. #20 abby
    June 27, 2012

    This is plain,downright frightening….what if it spreads like the plague.

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