Category archives for Pirates

Summertime priorities

I say, “Fie on you, Superman Returns.” I’ll probably go see it if it shows up here in Morris, but otherwise, Jesus in spandex has little appeal to me. The only summer blockbuster I care about is the one with the pirates, and most importantly, the villains based on marine biology. It takes a tortuously…

Wrong wardrobe

I’m gimping about NY today, and I should have read Bizarro before I left to get some fashion tips.

Do ye even need to ask, Lindsay?

Will I sign th’ Pirate’s Compact? Arrr. It be like askin’ Blackbeard if he wants a tot o’ rum before plunderin’ yon fat merchanter. Which reminds me…on me mission to New York tomorrow, I need to be askin’ about Pirate Mode. Maybe a little proddin’ with the cutlass will help.

Blackbeard on a hydroplane

My hometown of Seattle isn’t big on that NASCAR thing—instead, they’ve got over-motored boats scudding and bouncing around the lakes and sound at insane speeds. One reader was nice enough to remind me of the summer rituals, and also that they’ve got pirates, which is always a plus.

My kind of place

If somebody were to open a Swashbucks near me, I’d be there every day.