The Quantum Pontiff

LHC Ad: Beware Bears

You may have noticed an ad running on scienceblogs which says “Has the LHC destoyed the Earth?” If you click on it you find a webpage that says in big letters simply “NO”. What’s up with that? Check out the webpage source for the page (

Update 9/12/08: Check out the comments for more fun and also read the cat projectile analyzers take on how you can click to save the world.

<br /> <!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" ""><br /> <html xmlns=""><br /> <head></p> <p> <!-- this is the fault of daniel drucker the first person to ask for an RSS feed gets a free black hole in their junk you are too late, people have already asked. ok fine i made one. rss.xml. --></p> <link rel="alternate" title="Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the earth yet?" href="" type="application/rss+xml" /> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" /><br /> </head></p> <p><body style="text-align: center; padding-top: 200px;"><br /> <!-- oh shit bears --> </p> <p><!-- [ddrucker@scatter ~]$ host -t txt descriptive text "Anesthetized monkeys exposed to 25,000 ppm or 50,000 ppm [of freon] for 5 minutes had [cardiac] [arrhythmia]s including [tachycardia] and decreased contractility (U.S. EPA 1983)" In their paper, Coleman and de Luccia noted: The possibility that we are living in a false vacuum has never been a cheering one to contemplate. Vacuum decay is the ultimate ecological catastrophe; in the new vacuum there are new constants of nature; after vacuum decay, not only is life as we know it impossible, so is chemistry as we know it. However, one could always draw stoic comfort from the possibility that perhaps in the course of time the new vacuum would sustain, if not life as we know it, at least some structures capable of knowing joy. This possibility has now been eliminated. The second special case ... applies if we are now living in the debris of a false vacuum ... This case presents us with less interesting physics and with fewer occasions for rhetorical excess than the preceding one. S. Coleman and F. De Luccia (1980). "Gravitational effects on and of vacuum decay". Physical Review D21: 3305. the crab always wins; it makes the baby syntacticians cry. --></p> <p> <span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 120pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-decoration: none; color: black;" >NO</span></p> <p><!-- this is valid xhtml, biotechs --></p> <p><!-- ok i have succumbed to the siren call of adding useful information to this page, here is Seed Magazine's coverage of the LHC --><br /> <a href="" style="font-weight: light; font-size: 8pt; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-decoration: none; color: #999999;" >?</a></p> <p><script type="text/javascript"> var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www."); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E")); </script><br /> <script type="text/javascript"> var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker("UA-143825-2"); pageTracker._trackPageview(); </script><br /> </body><br /> </html><br />

Oh shit, bears.


  1. #1 Ian Durham
    September 11, 2008

    There’s also an RSS feed should you feel the need to be updated on the status of your own existence.

  2. #2 Greg Laden
    September 11, 2008

    Wow. Well spotted.

  3. #3 andy
    September 12, 2008

    The Coleman and de Luccia paper looks quite interesting, but unfortunately it seems it was published in the days before there was an arXiv and the paper appears to be behind a paywall :-(

  4. #4 Daniel Drucker
    September 12, 2008

    I’ve edited the page so it now points to this one, for tail recursion of a sort…

  5. #5 Daniel Drucker
    September 12, 2008
  6. #6 Dave Bacon
    September 12, 2008

    Ha! Round in round we go, where the world ends, nobody knows!

    I’m now LMAO after typing

  7. #7 andy
    September 12, 2008

    Daniel Drucker, thanks for that… taking a look at it now.

  8. #8 Dave Munger
    September 12, 2008

    Viewing the source of the competitor’s site,

    Yields some funny results too:

    if (!(typeof worldHasEnded == “undefined”)) {
    } else {


    if the lhc actually destroys the earth & this page isn’t yet updated
    please email to receive a full refund

  9. #9 rich
    September 14, 2008

    It seems that if you disable JavaScript, you are totally protected:


  10. #10 Higgs Boson
    September 16, 2008

    Should you feel that text isn’t enough and you need to visually monitor the situation:

  11. #11 ChinChin
    September 17, 2008


  12. #12 Dave Bacon
    September 21, 2008

    I was hoping the feed would say “No. The magnet’s broken.” today.

  13. #13 Daniel de Fran├ža MTd2
    September 10, 2009

    Heh, I didn’t know it was you.

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