The Quantum Pontiff

I Want to Quantum Jump to a Tiger

From Pravda, some pretty serious funny: Quantum transition to transform mankind in 2012.

We begin, as on any other day, with prediction of doomsday:

Russian scientists predict another doomsday. In their opinion, quantum transition will begin in 2012 according to the ancient Maya calendar.

But how, you ask, will this quantum transition occur?

Scientists say that an extremely powerful catalyst will be neccesary to trigger quantum transition. They say that a powerful solar flare will be enough.

Of course, why didn’t I think of that: a solar flare to set off a quantum transition. But wait, shouldn’t I be worried about this quantum transition?

According to the encyclopedic dictionary, “quantum transition is a spasmodic transition of quantum system, i.e. an atom or a molecule or a crystal from one possible condition into another.”

So there are the reasons to assume that human beings involved in the process of quantum transition will not die. They will be able to transform to another form. At least some scientists believe so.

Cool. I want to quantum jump into being a tiger. You?

Comments

  1. #1 Boris
    May 21, 2009

    Pravda (russian for “truth”) used to be a required reading back in the day. It would teach us soviet children all the truth about western imperialism and other such terrible things… I guess it wasn’t much better back then than it is now. :)

  2. #2 Ian Durham
    May 21, 2009

    Well, if you believe Bob Griffiths the universe and everything in it is quantum and not classical anyway so perhaps this sort of thing happens everyday. Now where did I put my car keys…

  3. #3 Dave Bacon
    May 22, 2009

    Boris: my favorite English translation of pravda was the story titled “American scientists save world with calculation.” Seems that there was an earlier calculation that an asteroid was going to hit the earth and some American scientists recalculated that it was not going to hit the earth, hence the awesome title.

  4. #4 Breen Mullins
    May 22, 2009

    I clipped an event announcement from the local fishwrap yesterday:
    “Awakening Your Light Body with Tantric Shamanism”
    which is being conducted (that’ll be $240, please) at the Center for Quantum Healing & Transformation.

    Maybe they read Pravda, too.

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