Best Title Ever

The Quantum Pontiff

Category archives for Best Title Ever

Holy Cow!

Chris sends me arXiv:1005.1381: A Mathematical Model for the Dynamics and Synchronization of Cows Authors: Jie Sun, Erik M. Bollt, Mason A. Porter, Marian S. Dawkins Abstract: We formulate a mathematical model for daily activities of a cow (eating, lying down, and standing) in terms of a piecewise affine dynamical system. We analyze the properties…

Must Resist Joke Blog Post Title

arXiv:1003.1153: Quantum Dating Market Authors: O.G. Zabaleta, C.M. Arizmendi Abstract: We consider the dating market decision problem under the quantum mechanics point of view. Quantum states whose associated amplitudes are modified by men strategies are used to represent women. Grover quantum search algorithm is used as a playing strategy. Success is more frequently obtained by…

Childish QKD

Michael sends along an entry in the best title ever competition, this time a special baby Bacon edition: The pulse wave arrival time (QKd interval) in normal children The Journal of Pediatrics, Volume 95, Issue 5, Pages 716-721 B. Bercu, R. Haupt, R. Johnsonbaugh, D. Rodbard “In this household, young man, we will keep our…

A new entry in the best title every contest, arXiv:0907.4152: Born Again Authors: Don N. Page Abstract: A simple proof is given that the probabilities of observations in a large universe are not given directly by Born’s rule as the expectation values of projection operators in a global quantum state of the entire universe. An…

Machine Gun?

How did I miss this, an obvious entry into the best title ever contest: arXiv:0810.2587 A photonic cluster state machine gun Authors: Netanel H. Lindner, Terry Rudolph Quick, duck for cover, Terry is shooting us with cluster states!

SOHCAHTOA

A new entry in the best title every competition: arXiv:0810.0827: Sine function with a cosine attitude Authors: A. D. Alhaidari Someday I promise that I will use the phrase “an exponential function with a logarithmic attitude.”

Dickian Physics Abstract

An entry into the “best abstract ever” subcompetition of the “best title ever” competition, arXiv:0809.3979: Counterfactual Quantum Cryptography Authors: Tae-Gon Noh Abstract: The ‘quantum counterfactuality’ is one of the most striking counterintuitive effects predicted by quantum mechanics. This manuscript shows that the counterfactual effect is not merely an interesting academic theme, but that it can…

The Bar Scene

Someone at Caltech’s PR office sure was having fun: Caltech Astronomers Describe the Bar Scene at the Beginning of the Universe PASADENA, Calif.–Bars abound in spiral galaxies today, but this was not always the case. A group of 16 astronomers, led by Kartik Sheth of NASA’s Spitzer Science Center at the California Institute of Technology,…

Devilish Dice Games

A new entry in the best title ever competition appeared last week on the arXiv: arXiv:0806.4874 Why devil plays dice? Authors: Andrzej Dragan Abstract: Principle of Relativity involving all, not only subluminal, inertial frames leads to the disturbance of causal laws in a way known from the fundamental postulates of Quantum Theory. We show how…

A new entry in the best title ever competition: arXiv:0804.2162, “The secret world of shrimps: polarisation vision at its best”, by Sonja Kleinlogel and Andrew G. White. Secret lives of shrimp? That sounds more like an expose on the secret drug habits of the Roloffs on the T.V. show Little People Big World, than the…