Funny Ha Ha

The Quantum Pontiff

Category archives for Funny Ha Ha

Not True in Any Base

Yes, dear Gray Lady, you certainly sound more sophisticated when you use the word “prime number” in your newspaper. But perhaps you might want to look up the actual meaning of the word before placing those words prominently beside two times five times five.

But I Thought…Click…Oh

Some confusing headlines: Quantum Theory’s Release Date Now ‘TBA’ Quantum Theory Faces Delay Due to Quality Reasons Quantum Theory Delayed

Mmmvelopes. Tasty Tasty Mmmvelopes.

Too often in life I am sending out a check to some charitable organization, or to resubscribe to Bacon magazine, and I think “damn this would be a lot better with Bacon.” And now via the honest one, I find out that there is a solution to this vexing problem: Bacon flavored envelopes! From the…

Friday the 13th is, apparently, a day of must read articles. This time it’s Steven Pinker’s review of Malcolm Gladwell’s What the Dog Saw: And Other Adventures. Readers who have taken linear algebra will be amused: He provides misleading definitions of “homology,” “saggital plane” and “power law” and quotes an expert speaking about an “igon…

No Trail Email

From the annals of high idiocy, I enjoyed this sequence of emails at BofA: “Unfortunately it’s screw the shareholders!!” Charles K. Gifford wrote to a fellow director in an e-mail exchange that took place during the call. “No trail,” Thomas May, that director, reminded him, an apparent reference to the inadvisability of leaving an e-mail…

Helmet Heads Hijacked?

How did I miss this one from 2005? And how come no one told me to take off my tinfoil hat? Via @kmerritt, “On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study” by Ali Rahimi, Ben Recht, Jason Taylor, and Noah Vawter. Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective…

Quantum Police, Arrest This Woman

Okay this one from ScienceDaily made my day. No it made my week. The title is “Police Woman Fights Quantum Hacking And Cracking.” Intriguing, no? Who is this mysterious police woman in quantum computing? I don’t know many police offers involved in quantum computing, but yeah, maybe there is one who is doing cool quantum…

Humor as a Guide to Research

Over at the optimizer’s blog, quantum computing’s younger clown discusses some pointers for giving funny talks. I can still vividly remember the joke I told in my very first scientific talk. I spent the summer of 1995 in Boston at the Smithsonian Astrophysical Observatory (photo of us interns) working on disproving a theory about the…

Theorist In a Box

When I was a postdoc, I made it a habit to try to spend at least one week a year visiting Isaac Chuang’s lab at MIT. There were many reason for this, including that Ike has been a collaborator of mine, and Ken Brown, another collaborator was working as a postdoc in the lab. But…

Campus Ad

In the University of Washington’s “The Daily” in the lost and found section: FOUND – PANDA head, appears to be a part of a missing suit. Recovered near 45th and Memorial. presumably stolen by ill-advised sorority girls during their week-long, drunken stupor