In my campus mailbox this morning:
Dear Chad:
I am pleased to report that on Februrary 10, 2007 the Board of Trustees approved our recommendation that you be tenured effective September 1, 2007 at the rank of Associate Professor.
Woo-hoo!
It took about half a second to decide to sign the copy indicating my acceptance, and send it back. That brightens an otherwise groggy and out-of-sorts morning...
(Amusingly, the other thing in the letter describes an offer to pay half the cost of a set of academic robes for those occasions when I want to look like a medieval scholar. It's actually a pretty good deal-- these things are ridiculously expensive...)
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Now you have to change the blurb next to your picture.
Congrats! I'm glad to see you gave the offer full and considered thought -- one second is a loooong latency! :)
Congratulations!
(As for robes -- well, when I was at Queen Mary College in London for a semester, one of my history tutors would sometimes wear her robes when it was cold -- they were apparently quite warm and thus actually useful at times.)
One could do worse than require moral turpitude as an exit strategy. Frame the notice, quaff a dram of Lagvulin, start harvesting grant funding so the Department of Ilonggo can feed off your overhead charges. (There is no agreement whatsoever about where Ilonggo is a proper dialect of Hiligaynon. It's hot stuff!)
Congrats!
(One wonders, very slightly, whether the typo is original.)
Congratulations! Always nice to see these things in writing.
congrats! now you are "the man." Any nefarious plans to take over world?
Congratulations! Looking forward to seeing your photo with the robes...
Congrats! Now you'll have the academic security needed to dump this AMO experimental stuff and do superstrings!
Congratulations, Chad!
w00t!
Congratulations, Professor.
Now you have to change the blurb next to your picture.
I've thought of that, but I haven't come up with anything good to change it to...
Congratulations!
WOOHOO!!! Congrats!!
You can do either of the two obvious things:
1) Remove "on the tenure track"
or
2) Do 1) and add "tenured" in front of "physicist".
OR You can completely re-identify yourself without reference to physics as a person who likes to rant about life.
Congratulations, you are now a new person. Your whole world perception will change.
You could just remove all references to physics, tenure and SLACs. Admit the real truth. You are a slave to a canine intelligence forcing you to play with photons to produce dog biscuits.
Now the supply is permanently secured!
Congratulations
I'm a Physicist, not a lawyer, but...
That means that you get to keep you job until retirement, unless you do something unusally dreadful (leave that to your imagination), or --
or the Department or College dissolves, in which case you aren't losing your tenure or your job, they've just exponentially decayed to vacuum.
Or something. Low probability. Call it epsilon. But still.... Can't rest on your laurels. Have to plan for those contingencies. Publish, perish, or at least blog like crazy.
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congrats!
Congratulations!
Now you can change the blurb to "That's Ass Prof Oilcan to you, punk !"