"Uncertain Principles" features the miscellaneous ramblings of a physicist at a small liberal arts college. Physics, politics, pop culture, and occasional conversations with his dog.
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Category: Religion
Posted on: November 16, 2007 10:13 AM, by Chad Orzel
Turnabout, after all, is fair play.
An easy answer would be to just copy the worst reason for doing just about anything else: "Chicks dig it." Ironically, it's also one of the more effective ways of getting guys to do things, particularly college-age guys...
But I'm sure somebody else can come up with some entertaining snark, so have at it.
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Comments
# 1 | Caledonian | November 16, 2007 10:34 AM
"It's progressive."
# 2 | Evan Berkowitz | November 16, 2007 10:47 AM
"To spite God"
# 3 | arakyd | November 16, 2007 11:20 AM
"To spite my Christian parents."
# 4 | Eric | November 16, 2007 11:21 AM
My parents told me there is no god, and I never thought to question them. Or insert anyone else for "my parents" in that sentence, ie other family, a teacher, some guy with a blog, etc.
# 5 | Skwid | November 16, 2007 11:22 AM
Like so many other questions, South Park has already answered this. "To seduce Richard Dawkins."
# 6 | Mary | November 16, 2007 11:23 AM
Because you hate Bush (and Bush supporters).
Because "religion is responsible for all the suffering in human history."
Because your parents are religious.
Because it's just so obvious where the universe came from and why it obeys physical laws, that there is nothing mysterious worth speculating about.
# 7 | Jonathan Vos Post | November 16, 2007 11:39 AM
Because you created the universe, but you forgot how, and are in denial.
# 8 | itsjustanalias | November 16, 2007 11:44 AM
Because it's so darn hard to choose between Thor, Zeus and the rest of the gods.
# 9 | Romeo Vitelli | November 16, 2007 11:46 AM
Because God told me to be one.
# 10 | JaZeus | November 16, 2007 12:01 PM
Because I found a watch in a field, but it was broken.
# 11 | Dr Eye | November 16, 2007 12:12 PM
I wanted to be part of the secular progress effort to make war on Christmas.
# 12 | SMK | November 16, 2007 12:25 PM
because Pascal was giving good odds
# 13 | Cambias | November 16, 2007 12:31 PM
"Because all the cool kids are doing it."
# 14 | Jamie Bowden | November 16, 2007 12:34 PM
Because I hate you, Kap'n Karl!
# 15 | Benjamin Franz | November 16, 2007 1:00 PM
Because a book written two to four thousand years ago by priests from a Bronze Age culture told me to.
# 16 | Uncle Al | November 16, 2007 1:56 PM
I am an atheist because anybody venturing one is stuck with infinity thereafter. Given a priesthood tossing $100 bills ino the congregation without limit, I'll reconsider.
# 17 | Dave Munger | November 16, 2007 2:21 PM
Because you think church is boring.
(Actually I'm an atheist and I think church is interesting)
# 18 | robd | November 16, 2007 2:35 PM
Because it saves money.
# 19 | MarkH | November 16, 2007 2:44 PM
To fit in.
# 20 | natural cynic | November 16, 2007 3:29 PM
Because god doesn't exist any more. I ate him for dinner last night and there are no leftovers.
# 21 | T. Bruce McNeely | November 16, 2007 3:29 PM
Because I'm too fucking humgover on Sunday morning.
# 22 | T. Bruce McNeely | November 16, 2007 3:31 PM
Because Ann Coulter isn't.
# 23 | Chad Orzel | November 16, 2007 3:35 PM
Because Ann Coulter isn't.
We're looking for the worst reason, here...
# 24 | MattXIV | November 16, 2007 3:38 PM
"I was serious about it. I was also really, really stoned." *
# 25 | sinned34 | November 16, 2007 3:49 PM
Because Christian music sucks. Bad. Really!
# 26 | sinned34 | November 16, 2007 3:55 PM
Because Jesus Dress-Up is just too much fun!
# 27 | sinned34 | November 16, 2007 4:16 PM
Because Pat Robertson/the Discovery Institute/my pastor equates science with atheism, and I want to be a scientist.
# 28 | Brandon | November 16, 2007 4:24 PM
Because some group of Christians did something bad, therefore all Christians are evil.
# 29 | Brigit | November 16, 2007 5:23 PM
Because my boyfriend left me for an uglier chick!
# 30 | sinned34 | November 16, 2007 5:47 PM
Because I love baiting religious people, and Satanism is SO 1980's...
(This is fun!)
# 31 | peter | November 16, 2007 7:11 PM
Because my parents are.
# 32 | Jake B | November 16, 2007 8:56 PM
Because if I admit that maybe, just maybe, I admit that at times I've truly thought there is a "higher power" (and we aren't talking exponents here) my friends will ridicule me and I need their approval and validation to feel important in what has otherwise been a vast and impressive universe in which I am but a tiny piece.
I think thats long enough. Could also be
I'm afraid to not be an atheist will seem immature/silly.
# 33 | Harry Abernathy | November 16, 2007 10:00 PM
Because it's first alphabetically. (Agnosticism doesn't count since it doesn't really take a stand).
# 34 | bad Jim | November 17, 2007 3:45 AM
Because if there is no higher power I retain control over myself and can continue drinking.
# 35 | Believer | November 18, 2007 10:54 AM
Because Madalyn Murray O'Hair was such a hottie...
http://tinyurl.com/ywrvoz
# 36 | theomobius | November 18, 2007 1:08 PM
Because atheists don't ask for donations.
# 37 | theomobius | November 18, 2007 1:19 PM
Because I think the actual truth of the matter is that god does not exist, but if he does, I'll bet he prefers people to pursue the truth and be open about what they believe it is (even if they're wrong).
# 38 | themobius | November 18, 2007 1:21 PM
Because of, like, entropy and stuff.
# 39 | theomobius | November 18, 2007 1:51 PM
Because of what happened to Bambi's mother.
# 40 | Cinderella Ferret | November 18, 2007 2:07 PM
Because, just like the government, Christians just want my money.
# 41 | don | November 18, 2007 2:36 PM
because you feel confident asserting a universal negative even though negatives are unproveable
# 42 | sobocous | November 18, 2007 4:19 PM
Because I'm into sado-masochism, and by denying the holy spirit our loving Lord has guaranteed an eternity of razor tooth demons shredding my genitals while flogging me as I roast over white hot flames.
# 43 | sobocous | November 18, 2007 4:23 PM
Because, if God is real it would be apparent. He wouldn't need a legion of Amwaylike missionaries badgering the sh#t out of me.
# 44 | paddy | November 18, 2007 4:42 PM
"If there's a God, why do bad things happen?"
-my ex-girlfriend.
# 45 | faux facsimile | November 18, 2007 5:23 PM
Because it pissed off the fundie in-laws so they stopped coming to and ruining my Thanksgiving celebrations?
# 46 | Effeminem | November 18, 2007 9:43 PM
Because I took Intro to Philosophy and they told me there is no truth.
# 47 | yeah | November 19, 2007 12:03 AM
I was out of ideas at the time.
# 48 | Barton Paul Levenson | November 19, 2007 5:24 AM
Because, like, science has proved there's no God. Um, physics, I think.
# 49 | Tyler Blalock | November 19, 2007 8:16 AM
Because of Ayn Rand.
# 50 | Cyrus | November 19, 2007 10:57 AM
Maybe I'm not getting into the spirit of things (not a regular reader of this blog, sorry if there are a lot of spoofers I don't know about, etc.), but 8 and 37 seem like pretty good reasons to be an atheist.
# 51 | Seamus | November 19, 2007 11:43 AM
To pretend you are superior to religion. Atheism has it own evangelists, its own fundraisers and wekkly gatherings, its own 'tomes of wisdom'. And there's no way to prove a God doesn't exist but they believe it strongly.