When I headed to work this morning, I made the turn onto Nott St., and all the error lights in my car lit up, and the speedometer and tachometer went dead. I know exactly what the cause is, because this has happened twice before: rodents of some sort are chewing on the wiring in my car, causing things to short out and throw error messages.
These furry little bastards have hit my last nerve. This has been a week from hell, and I can not afford to lose yet another day to having my car worked on to repair rodent damage, to say nothing of the $200-ish it will cost to have it fixed.
At a minimum, I want these little fuckers to stop chewing the wires in my car. Ideally, this would be because they are dead, with their bleached skulls posted on stakes around the driveway as a warning to the next generation, but I’ll settle for “gone very far away, never to chew on vehicle wiring again.” I’m not sure what the best way to accomplish this goal is, though. So I’ll throw this out to the larger Internet: How do I get rid of the squirrels who are eating my car?
And no dog jokes, please. If I still thought there was the tiniest fucking shred of humor in this, I would make my own dog jokes. I have fucking had it with this situation, though, so any wisecracks about turning the dog loose on them will be summarily deleted.