Last night, as I was flying in to San Francisco, Matt Cain pitched the first perfect game in Giants history. Now, a casual observer might think these events were unrelated, but to ancient alien theorists, the connection between them could not be more obvious. Thus, you should come to Kepler’s Books in Menlo Park this evening at 7pm, to see what amazing events will happen next.
Well, OK, the most that will probably happen is that I might read a bit from the How to Teach Relativity to Your Dog in a silly voice. But you don’t know that I won’t use my awesome ancient alien magic to transmute lead into gold, Deepak Chopra books into useful medical advice, or the Golden State Warriors into a competitive NBA franchise. Unless you come to Kepler’s tonight.
Be there, or settle for reading about it in the papers and lying to your grandchildren when they ask where you were when all that awesome stuff happened in 2012.