Return of The Physics Bus

My parents have a DVD of the Bacon Brothers singing “The Wheels on the Bus” over an animated scene, which The Pip loves and insists on watching over, and over, and over, and over… As the parent sitting through this on Sunday morning, I got a little punchy over on Twitter, and invented some quantum-physics-themed verses (if you don’t know the tune, 1) count yourself lucky, and 2) here’s a clip from the video on YouTube). Here are the results:

The electrons on the bus are fermions,
fermions,
fermions.
The electrons on the bus are fermions, in antisymmetric states…

Operators on the bus are Hermitian,
Hermitian,
Hermitian.
Operators on the bus are Hermitian, with real eigenvalues…

Field theories on the bus are renormalized,
renormalized,
renormalized.
Field theories on the bus are renormalized, and give finite results…

The wavefunction of the bus has decohered,
decohered,
decohered.
The wavefunction of the bus has decohered, so it’s a mixed state…

Hidden variables on the bus are non-local,
non-local,
non-local.
Hidden variables on the bus are non-local, as shown by Bell…

CP symmetry on the bus is violated,
violated,
violated.
CP symmetry on the bus is violated, but not by enough…

Conservation laws on the bus come from symmetry,
symmetry,
symmetry.
Conservation laws on the bus come from symmetry, in the Lagrangian.

After a break where Kate tagged in and took The Pip outside, I was still earwormed, so went for another go-round, this time on relativity:

The reference frame of the bus is inertial,
inertial,
inertial.
The reference frame of the bus is inertial, except when accelerating…

The clock on the bus seems to tick too slow,
tick too slow,
tick too slow.
The clock on the bus seems to tick too slow, in the lab frame…

Acceleration of the bus looks just like g[ravity],
just like g,
just like g.
Acceleration of the bus looks just like g, at least locally…

The mass of the bus it bends spacetime,
bends spacetime,
bends spacetime.
The mass of the bus it bends spacetime, and that’s gravity…

Free fall on the bus is a geodesic,
geodesic,
geodesic.
Free fall on the bus is a geodesic, until you hit the floor…

The really amazing thing is that I didn’t end up repeating any from the last time I did this, when SteelyKid got obsessed with that song…

(The “featured image” for this post is a cell-phone picture of The Pip playing in the toy sink on Grandma and Grandpa’s deck. This isn’t just cute, it’s astonishing– he’s normally extremely anti-water. At bath time, he reacts like we’re trying to dissolve him in acid. But this past weekend, he gleefully splashed in the sink for hours. Sadly, this did not carry over to Sunday night’s bath…)

Comments

  1. #1 RM
    May 6, 2013

    But the thing about the water in the sink that’s unlike the bath is that it’s over *there*, and Pip’s over *here*. It’s like the Pauli exclusion principle – perfectly fine if there’s physical separation between the two particles, but try to superimpose them and there’s hell to pay. (Which immediately suggests a solution to bath time: simply spin the Pip upside down while you’re bathing him, so his angular momentum is pointing … what? Why wouldn’t that work?)

  2. #2 Frank Wappler
    http://the.bus.engine.turns.at.constant.rate--except.if.it.does.not
    May 7, 2013

    Chad Orzel wrote (May 6, 2013):
    > [...] if you don’t know the tune, 1) count yourself lucky [...]

    The bus is constituted of at least four distinguishable participants [1],
    -icipants [2],
    -icipants [3].
    The bus is constituted of at least four distinguishable participants [4],
    so it may possess an interior to possibly carry additional passengers.

    (Too many syllables? … &)

  3. [...] electrons on the bus are fermions, fermions, [...]