Pure Pedantry

I wish I was this funny

Memoirs of a Skepchick dramatizes the researchers who determined men and women are aroused at the same rate — talking to a grade school class:

“So you watch the men and women get hotter with the night vision goggles?”

“It’s a camera, technically, and . . . yes, yes we do.”

“What are they doing while you watch them?”

The man looks to the teacher for help, but recalls that she took advantage of today’s talk to step out for a coffee and cigarrette. “Well, they’re, uh, they’re watching movies actually.”

“What kind of movies?”

“Um, a lot of different movies . . . ”

“Why would people get hotter while watching movies?”

The man silently wills the teacher to return to the room using the hidden power of his mind, but to no avail. He is cornered and alone.

“Well, some of the movies . . . some of the movies are dirty.” He finishes his sentence quietly and apologetically.

After a brief, stunned silence, a boy in the back row excitedly summarizes the preceding information: “You spy on people with night vision goggles while they watch dirty movies?”

“That’s not, that’s not exactly what I do, no, you see it’s a camera . . . ”

“How can I get a job like that?” the boy shouts. The man scans the room to see the rest of the students nodding their heads enthusiastically, waiting for an answer.

The man clears his throat. “Study hard, kids. Study hard.”

Applause.

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