Jake Young is a 
Why do I love stories about monkeys so much:
An escaped chimpanzee at the Little Rock Zoo raided a kitchen cupboard and did a little cleaning with a toilet brush before sedatives knocked her out on top of a refrigerator.The 120-pound primate, Judy, escaped yesterday into a service area when a zookeeper opened a door to her sleeping quarters, unaware the animal was still inside.
As keepers tried to woo Judy back into her cage, she rummaged through a refrigerator where chimp snacks are stored. She opened kitchen cupboards, pulled out juice and soft drinks and took a swig from bottles she managed to open.
Keeper Ann Rademacher says Judy went into the bathroom, picked up a toilet brush and cleaned the toilet. Rademacher says the 37-year-old Judy was a house pet before the zoo acquired her in 1988, so she may have been familiar with housekeeping chores. Judy wrung out a sponge and scrubbed down the fridge.
It took a couple of tries, but the zoo sedated the chimp, who fell asleep on top of the refrigerator with half a loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread she had pulled out of the freezer.
I can't imagine it did a particularly good job of cleaning the toilet before it passed out on the fridge. In this sense, it is but one more example of the equivalence between men and chimps.
Comments
Watch it, or I'll start flinging poo at you...
Posted by: NJ | January 17, 2007 2:53 PM
Come on. You know that chimps aren't monkeys.
Posted by: Gerry L | January 17, 2007 2:56 PM
Gerry L,
Yes, I recognize the difference, but people who feel the need to constantly point out that difference rank on my list around the people who feel the need to constantly correct my grammar.
Thus, realizing that my nomenclature faux-pas will probably annoy them far more than it should -- and that they need to get over that, I continue to do so with liberty.
Posted by: Jake Young | January 17, 2007 3:09 PM
That's just the greatest headline! "... on fridge" would be even better. What a spree, combining a hedonistic cookie binge with prissy housekeeping.
Posted by: Martin R | January 17, 2007 3:23 PM
Actually, chimps ARE monkeys to a true cladist. If we take the term "monkey" to refer to old world monkeys (OWM) and new world monkeys (NWM), then monkey is a paraphyletic taxon.
|-----------NWM
|
| ------OWM
|-----|
------Apes
For monkey to be monophyletic, we must include apes. Therefore, all apes are also monkeys.
Cladist out.
Posted by: RPM | January 17, 2007 4:48 PM
the tree didn't render correctly. see this
Posted by: RPM | January 17, 2007 4:50 PM