This is just too good. All molecular biologists have had a conversation at least once where they try to actually explain what they do with their day to a lay-person, rather than just talking in stale generalities. The problem with this is that molecular biology is technical, and it takes a bit of explanation. This is why this conversation is only attempted rarely and when the recipient has a lot of time to waste.

One of the weirder aspects of molecular biology is cell lines. Cell lines are strains of cells that will divide indefinitely, usually because they are somewhat cancerous. This distinguishes them from primary cells, cells actually obtained from an organism and grown in culture. In both cases, when you work with cell culture you spend your day feeding them and changing their media and generally treating them like your children. Molecular biologists use cells in culture to express certain proteins in them to see how they interact.

Cell lines have weird names describing where they are from. It is usually a string of letters and numbers like NIH3T3 or 293 or even 293T cells. These don't matter for lay people; they are just descriptors of standard cell lines so that scientists know what other scientists are talking about when they described experiments.

Now, I never worked on a cell line called CHO cells (short for Chinese Hamster Ovary cells), but from what I understand it is just a standard cell line. It is transformed, meaning slightly cancerous, but this is standard because if it wasn't it wouldn't divide indefinitely in culture.

Which brings us to our story. This guy accidentally injected himself with CHO cells in lab, and he had to explain what they were to the triage nurse at the ER:

The mention of hamsters piqued the nurse's interest and she looked up from the form. I showed her my hand. There was very little blood; it had been worse immediately following the puncture. If I had not stopped for a fortifying sandwich en route to the ER, I'd probably have garnered more sympathy. As it was she didn't seem to care about the wound. She did, however, care about the hamsters.

"Hamster cells?"

"Yes." I smiled in what I hoped was a manner that, while sheepish, also conveyed my concern at having bits of hamster flowing through my bloodstream, getting closer and closer to my heart or, even worse, my brain.

"Like those animals that run around on those wheels?" she asked. "How do you spell that?" I was now getting concerned that she had not grasped the seriousness of the situation so my response was a little testier than it should have been. "Ham. Ster." My testiness went unnoticed.

"So you've injected yourself with hamster blood?" she said. Not blood, I replied, ovaries. Again she looked up from her form. I assured her that it hadn't been an entire ovary, merely a few million cells. Chinese Hamster ovary cells have, for a variety of reasons including reduced risk of pathogenic infection, become leading vehicles for recombinant protein production. The syringe I was handling that day was full of a solution of these cells; a solution that vaguely resembled opaque tropical punch. However, I didn't feel that it was the time to get into the ins and outs of cell culture seeing as it was, in my mind, one of those life-and-death moments where every second counts.

The nurse continued, "But the hamsters - they're healthy?" This is a frequent misconception. Whenever I mention that I work with hamster ovary cells people envisage a room full of cages with me hunched over an operating table, harvesting ovaries from defenseless hamsters splayed out beneath my scalpel. This is not the case, as I explained to the nurse. There are no live hamsters, just their ovary cells grown in suspension.

My explanation seemed to satisfy her. "Okay, but the ovaries - were they healthy?" she asked. "Ah...well no. They have cancer," I replied. We had reached her breaking point. She put down her pen and told me that I was going to have to see a doctor. She had no interest in hearing that cancer was induced in the cells so as to immortalize them, allowing them to proliferate ad infinitum.

I really feel for this guy. Cell culture is on the whole safe, but some of the lines we work with could be dangerous if they were injected. They are tumor cells, and -- while I doubt it would happen -- they could make a tumor in you. However, you try accelerating year of molecular biology experience into a two minutes summary.

Hat-tip: World's Fair