Pure Pedantry

A cat hit by a motorcycle in Port Harcourt, Nigeria allegedly turned into a middle-aged woman. Good thing there were lots of people around to kill a second cat-person and beat the accident survivor into a confession of witchcraft.

What could be described as a fairy tale turned real on Wednesday in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, as a cat allegedly turned into a middle-aged woman after being hit by a commercial motorcycle (Okada) on Aba/Port Harcourt Expressway.

Nigerian Tribune learnt that three cats were crossing the busy road when the okada ran over one of them which immediately turned into a woman. This strange occurrence quickly attracted people around who descended on the animals. One of them, it was learnt, was able to escape while the third one was beaten to death, still as a cat though.

According to a source who witnessed what happened, the cat-woman said she and the two other cat-fellows had travelled from Abuja to Port Harcourt to kill three people. “The woman said they came to Port Harcourt from Abuja and that they came to kill three people. She said they had succeeded in killing two people, but the third person, whom I guess might be a pastor, was difficult for them and that they were preparing to go back to Abuja,” said the source.

Another witness, who gave his name as James, said the woman started faking when she saw that many people were gathering around her. “I have never seen anything like this in my life. I saw a woman lying on the road instead of a cat. Blood did not come out of her body at that time. When people gathered and started asking her questions, she pretended that she did not know what had happened,” he said.

When the Nigerian Tribune got to the scene of the incident near Garrison Junction, the cat-woman was seen sitting on the ground with blood all over her body. The right side of her face had a deep cut from what was gathered to be from a cutlass.
She was later taken to a hospital for medical attention. It took the intervention of policemen to prevent the mob from killing her.

When reached for information from the police, the Public Relations Officer of the Rivers State police command, Mrs. Rita Inoma-Abbey, said she had been taken to the hospital.

“She has been taken to Teme Clinic. Police will still be guarding her so that she will not disappear,” he said.

Comments

  1. #1 Barn Owl
    May 31, 2008

    And because she’s a magic cat person, she had magical clothes that magically appeared, appropriately sized, when she transformed from cat to human.

  2. #2 nighthawk808
    June 3, 2008

    Good thing the cats were beaten to death before they could send out any more emails about how due to an unfortunate circumstance, the cats need someone to help them get their $170 million out of the bank, and will gladly give me a generous slice of the money in exchange for my help.

  3. #3 Skeptigirl
    June 3, 2008

    And they said time travel wasn’t possible. Seems to me one can go back in time through a number of portals around the Earth from the isolated rain forests where you can go back about 10,000 years and see what life was life among early human cultures to places like this one where one can see what life was like a millennium ago.

    Simply boggles the mind. But it is also a reminder how dangerous magical thinking still is.

  4. #4 Marsupial Vomit
    July 27, 2009

    Wow… just… just wow…
    I don’t mean to sound racist, speciest, nationalist, whatever-ist, but this is the general reaction from the public in a country where there are scam artists intelligent enough to dupe people around the globe into giving up bank details?

    Maybe that’s the point though. There are a few smart ones taking advantage of an OBVIOUSLY BACKWARD AND MORONIC POPULACE.

    I was searching Google for something about carrying a cat on a motorcycle (safely) and this page was the second hit.

New comments have been disabled.