Retrospectacle: A Neuroscience Blog

Add one more nail in the coffin. A University of Central Florida professor, Costa Efthimiou, has mathmatically proven that vampires could never really exist. His logic goes:

On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on.
If mortality rates were taken into consideration, the population would disappear much faster. Even an unrealistically high reproduction rate couldn’t counteract this effect.
“In the long run, humans cannot survive under these conditions, even if our population were doubling each month,” Efthimiou said. “And doubling is clearly way beyond the human capacity of reproduction.”

Obviously Dr. Efthimiou is himself a vampire and is trying to pull the black cape over our eyes with his so-called “math.” We shall not be fooled. Furthermore, anyone that saw “Interview with the Vampire” knows that not every person bit becomes a vampire. Most people are just drained of blood and die. Only a chosen few become vampires. That just negates his whole theory. Come on!

Comments

  1. #1 Mustafa Mond, FCD
    October 26, 2006

    I think you should start a regular (weekly) series of posts about fun things on the other ScienceBlogs sites. You should call it SciBling Revelry.

  2. #2 Fnord
    October 26, 2006

    Besides, his data is clearly wrong. Everyone knows that the human population on Jan 1, 1600, was 536,870,913.

  3. #3 brad
    October 26, 2006

    That’s nonsense! Everyone knows that vampires take pleasure in killing most of their victims. It’s only the ones that don’t die that get turned into vampires.

  4. #4 UndergradChemist
    October 26, 2006

    And everyone knows that Vampire-Human ecology follows the Lotka-Volterra equations! Shame on mister physicist for grandstanding on a topic outside of his specialization without proper research.

  5. #5 Jon H
    October 26, 2006

    There is a great academic book on vampires called “Vampired, Burial, and Death”, which has perhaps the best footnote in an academic text. Attached to a passage regarding the reports of vampires screaming when decapitated with a shovel, the footnote says something to the effect of “I hardly ever have occasion to behead a corpse with a shovel.”

  6. #6 romunov
    October 27, 2006

    Bacteria have tha ability to fill a bath tub in a very short period, but they don’t… Could be something similar with signaling molecules with vampires.

  7. #7 Mark
    October 31, 2006

    From The Onion:

    “This news will likely hit The Count the hardest. Destroyed by the very numbers he loves.”

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