When I first stumbled across the page entitled “50 Reiki One-Liners” I thought it was going to be some kind of introspective quack humour. Silly me. No, this is the real deal:
On July 30, 2008 I started a new service in the microblogging world by sending out this one-liner about Reiki:
Reiki is living with wisdom & compassion.
Since then Reiki One-LinerSM has gone out to Plurk and Twitter everyday between Monday and Friday, with two breaks of a few days since its inception.
Now I know that Reiki – a ‘therapy’ that doesn’t even require the practitioner to be in the same room as the patient during the act of healing – is probably the world’s laziest form of quackery. Just stick an ad in the local paper, take down people’s credit card details by phone and tell them: “Yep, healing you right now. You feel that? Cool, that’ll be £50.” But still, this ‘service’ has to be a joke, right? After all, a few lines of PHP and you could automate that. Force the world to sign up to Twitter and boom! no more disease, right? We could eradicate malaria in no time.
Perhaps I’m being too cynical. After all, this is a totally new delivery system for medicine. Perhaps in the future doctors can send you trite quips via SMS, regardless of what is making you sick. No more clinics, pharmacies, hospitals. Just *beep* and the malady is gone, kinda like Cillit Bang. Given their aversion to actually seeing patients, Reiki practitioners clearly think diagnosis is just some kind of foolish Western misconception anyway.