It's with some sadness that I announce the last day of prize-winning here at SciencePunk. As well as the final in this series of reward-based thought experiments, it's also the day in which I will decide the five winners of loot bags, so if you haven't added your two cents yet, now would be a good time.
Thank you also for all your fantastic input over the last week or so, it's been a real treat. I had fun. Did you have fun? I hope so.
With theatres rolling out the red carpet for celebrities at the 9 première tonight, I got to thinking about the cast behind the voices of the stitchpunks. There's some top talent represented - Christopher Plummer, Martin Landau, Elijah Wood, Jennifer Connelly, Crispin Glover, John C. Reilly... Except for the machines. They must make do with the best mechanical roars and pneumatic hisses that the Foley artists come up with. Which makes me sad, especially for the Fabrication Machine, such a central character deserves a voice, no?
So, for the final chance to win an exclusive limited edition 9 book, I want to know who you would cast as the Fabrication Machine. A character more sinned against than sinning, devised by the Scientist but self-built, snatched away by the Chancellor and forced to work as a slave building war machines, driven mad by the pressure, becoming something fearsome and terrible! Who could narrate such a journey? Who could summon such tragedy?
Who would you chose as the voice of the Machine?
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I would pick Douglas Rain who voiced HAL 9000 in 2001: A space oddessy.
I would pick Vincent Price if he was still alive. That man could make anyone's spine tingle.
I would suggest Alan Rickman. He has an incredible, dark voice - think Die Hard and Snape. He can turn any phrase into something special - ("I'll remove your spleen with a spoon" - The Sheriff in Robin Hood). He can also be the suffering soul - Marvin in Hitchhiker's Guide and kind - the vintner in Bottle Shock.
Meryl Streep, especially since I just saw Doubt
Ron Perlman. From Fallout to Hellboy, he is a very under-rated actor.
Christopher Lee, since (as already said) Vincent Price is not available.
Sigourney Weaver. She's already shown her skill at voicing computers (Wall-E and Futurama), I think that would translate suitably to a somewhat less refined machine such as the Fabricator. I don't imagine her having much problem switching from soothing and sympathetic to tough and frightening.
My first thought was Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker in The Dark Knight, but as Ysengrin put it "he is not available"... How about Ellen Mclain, the voice of GLaDOS in portal? I could imagine the fabricator as a similar character, especially thinking of the way GLaDOS' voice changed at the end after her inhibitor thingy is destroyed.
David Bowie... the Goblin King
James Earl Jones
Rosie Perez
Just because.
Wait a second, I've changed my mind.
There's only one possible answer.
Humble beginnings. Self made.
Forced to do corporate work.
Success goes to its head.
Turns into a monster that sucks the living braincells from all it reaches and replaces them with an army of unthinking 'secret' clones.
Oprah!
Any machine of such dimensions that sounded mad would be scary as hell, and the maddest voice I can think of could be provided by none other than Bobcat Goldthwaite (Mr Z from the Police Academy movie).
Mind you, the other freaky machine voice could be the voice of an innocent child (like the computer in Resident Evil)...
...but Bobcat gets my vote.
I was thinking Alan Rickman, then Christopher Lee, but seeing as they've both been suggested I've done a re-think...
I'm going for the combined evil of a harmonised Same Difference narriation (of x-factor fame).
Tom Baker!
Think of his Koura character from The Golden Voyage of Sinbad.
Maybe with a metallic effect on his voice, but not a ring modulator, we don't want any dalek comparisons...
@reef
...thanks! Now I'm gonna have to sleep with the light on tonight!
I'd pick the Scottish bloke that does Big Brother.
"Dee Feefty Seex. Anayaleet All Humankeend."
Tim Curry.
Sam Elliott. Slow, quiet and dark.
While my kneejerk reaction would be to say Christopher Lee or Ron Perlman (those men could read a phone book and I'd listen), on a little bit further reflection, I have a different suggestion: Victor Garber.
Garber has a knack for sounding calm and reasonable -- rational, even -- until the time comes for the facade to crack, and the madness oozes its way out. And even angry, even mad, he can convey a sense of control, a very focused, channeled madness. A machine-like madness, simmering beneath the surface of rationality.
I would go with Elijah Wood, pulling double duty as both 9 and the Fabrication Machine. I just think it would be great to have the Scientist's first and last creations to share a common link, given how vastly different they are. Plus, I think Wood could pull it off.
THANK YOU THANK YOU everyone for your awesome input over the last 9 days. It's been fabulous. Award yourselves a cup of tea and TWO chocolate biscuits. You deserve it.
So onto our final winner, courtesy of random.org. Drumroll please......
IT'S #4 Clarke! CONGRATULATIONS!
Even Derren Brown couldn't predict that! Clarke, please send you details to winner@sciencepunk.com to claim the last limited edition glossy 9 coffee table book of the series!
And to everyone else: you're wonderful.
Were she still alive, Bea Arthur. Other than that Sarah Brightman or a Young Girl similar to the ones they have cast for the Resident Evil Movies but with a metallic tone.
Ellen McLain. Why you ask? One word GLaDOS.