Posted by As I head into each weekend, I start to think about possible topics for Mommy Monday. What will inspire me? What will my readers be interested in? What do I feel comfortable writing about? I debated a couple of topics this weekend, but I think I’ve settled on an update on breast-feeding a toddler. This post is inspired by ScienceMama’s bittersweet post as she approaches the one year mark of breast-feeding Bean.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breast-feeding for at least one year in healthy infants where there is no contra-indication. (“Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.”) Minnow and I met that mark just over two months ago. When I was pregnant I told people that I was committed to doing it for one year, but in my head I told myself that it would probably be more like two years. I know that lots and lots of people breast-feed for two years or longer, but Minnow is the only one in her age group that is still nursing and more and more people make comments assuming that Minnow is weaned or will be weaned shortly. Minnow and I are doing great with the nursing and I’m thinking that it will probably continue for at least 6 more months, maybe longer.
But nursing a toddler is nothing like nursing an infant:
A major difference is that the frequency of nursing went way down shortly after her first birthday. Minnow transitioned to the toddler room, where bottles were not allowed and cow’s milk was served with meals. Around that time I also cut down, and then cut out, pumping. While the transition was rough on Minnow (she still won’t drink cow’s milk at home), it was incredibly liberating for me. Suddenly I was literally tied to the pump for 90 minutes a day and I didn’t have to worry about scrubbing bottles and pump parts at home each night. Recently I’ve found myself wondering why I wasn’t more productive last semester, and then I realize how time-consuming that pumping business was. (I also got more done than I give myself credit for.)
On a typical day evening/night, Minnow greedily empties one breast as soon as I arrive at daycare to pick her up. Then we go home and have dinner. Since she won’t drink milk, I usually give her some diluted juice or water with dinner. Two hours after daycare pick-up, she’ll empty the other breast. Just before bedtime, she’ll nurse again from one or both breasts, only rarely falling asleep nursing. She sleeps for 2.5 to 4.5 hours before waking up hungry. I usually bring her to bed with me at this point and nurse her back to sleep. She usually wakes up one more time during the night to nurse right back to sleep and then around 6:30 am, she’ll nurse from both sides in succession and then fall into a deep sleep for another hour. Usually that’s the only morning nursing. (This weekend she’s been under the weather, so the daytime frequency has intensified.)
I’m still wearing nursing bras to facilitate the after daycare refueling, and sometimes I’ll throw in breast pads if the day will be particularly long or leakage would be particularly visible. Spontaneous let-down is a real possibility during the afternoons. I’m not sure how long I’ll keep wearing nursing bras…but at least until I buy myself some regular ones in my current size.
Lately, Fish has succeeded in putting Minnow down to sleep for the evening on a few occasions, which has been a tremendously freeing experience. This evening, for example, I went to Starbucks to grade papers while Minnow had her bath and bedtime, and Friday I was able to have a brief post-daycare visitation with Minnow before going to dinner with a visiting speaker. I love our evenings together (I’m home alone Monday-Thursday evenings), but it’s nice to know that she can go to sleep without me (and without too much fuss). It also gives me hope that if work requires it, I could go away overnight by some point in the summer. When she was tiny, I loved being able to comfort any distress with the breast. Now, I love that we can usually comfort her without it.
Toddlers are much larger (though Minnow is still quite small for her age) and much more agile than infants, introducing new challenges and creativity in feeding positions. Minnow is constantly finding new ways to pull up, or pull down, my shirt and access my boobs. She’s sucked on them from all sorts of funny contorted positions. But, whatever, she’s obviously getting what she needs in terms of comfort and nutrition. She’s also taken to grabbing my nipples and pinching or pulling (ow!), so we’ve been working on stopping that behavior. It’s hard for me not to cry out in pain, but I’m trying to remove her hand and say “gentle” and then limit access to the offended area. She’s mostly gotten the gentle concept with the dog…now we’ve just got apply it to my mammary areas. Fortunately, biting has been a very infrequent problem.
All in all, I love the time I spend nursing Minnow and it’s obvious that it still an important part of her life. I’m so glad we’ve been able to have this wonderful experience.
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