You know, maybe it’s just because it is 11:30 at night and I have another hour to wait to pick up my husband from the airport shuttle place, but…
… there are some days I wish I was still pseudonymous.
‘Cause then I could tell you just how tired I am, how even though I had a lot of good meetings today, I am feeling SO COMPLETELY over my head. How much I worry about failure. How much I feel like I have to squish aside and hide the crazy-cool me in order to be Dr. Me at work who is supposed to know everything already, how much I feel I’m being sucked into being in crisis-busy mode all the time so that I have no space in my head to think about being me because I’m too worried about all the work I have to do. How I worry about how I’m guiding my students, ’cause they wouldn’t know my blog was me. But they do. Hi, students.
As I am not pseudonymous, I clearly won’t say such things.
There are good things about not being pseudonymous, too. As there are about being a faculty member.
But I’m too tired and my head is too full to share them at the moment. My blogging silence may continue for a while.*
*With the exception of one final DonorsChoose results post (I’m just waiting for confirmation from one more person… If you donated, and have a yahoo-related email, check your spam for an email from me!)