Dear student who left a 3 oz. blob of ketchup right where people step out of the stairway and into the hallway,
The dozens of people who will have to sidestep your mess this afternoon do not appreciate you and your laziness. There are bathrooms with paper towels 15 m away from the spot where you made your mess. I’m the mother of a toddler, and I know for a fact that paper towels will do an admirable job of wiping up most spilled food. Even if you didn’t manage to get every last drop of ketchup off the linoleum, people would much rather accidentally step in a few smudges of it than step in half a bottle full.
The housekeeping staff is not your mother. Heck, even your mother would make you clean up a mess like that.
Love and kisses,
An indignant mother and stairwell/hallway user
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Dear elderly male professor,
I’m sorry you spilled your coffee in the classroom this morning. I hope it didn’t affect the quality of your teaching. However, there are bathrooms with paper towels 15 m from your classroom, and paper towels will do an admirable job of wiping up spilled coffee. You’ve worked in this building for 25 years or more, surely you’ve found the bathrooms and their paper towels by now? I’m also pretty sure that it’s easier to walk the 30 m to the bathroom and back, get some paper towels, and wipe up the coffee, than it is to walk at least three times that far, take an elevator up three floors, and ask the female secretary to find the “maids” to clean up your mess. Your female colleagues who overhear such conversations with the secretary are much less likely to think charitably of you in the future. Confidentially, the secretary doesn’t much like such behavior either, and I doubt the housekeeping staff wants to be called maids. I know that the feminist movement occurred well into your adulthood, but you’d think some of it would have percolated in by now.
Most respectfully,
A junior colleague who appreciates all that the secretary and housekeeping staff have to do around here