See Jane Compute

1. I am more direct in the way I communicate with people, particularly colleagues, but students as well. If there's something I want to do, or something that's bothering me, or something I notice that I think should be addressed, I speak up. I've had great success this way with my chair---there are things that I want to do, roles I want to take on in my department and such, and rather than hint or hope that my "merit" is recognized, I just come out and say "you know, I would really like to do X"---and it has worked wondrously so far. It works with students, too---if they let me down somehow, or if I think they are slacking, I tell them, explicitly. Sometimes they are taken aback, but they seem to be responding well to it for the most part.

2. I am more honest about what I want out of my career, and I actually tell people about it---or at least, I'm taking baby steps in that direction. For instance, I want to take a bigger role in campus life, and there are certain committees that would allow me to do this. The old me might have just hinted around to a few close friends, but lately I've been telling casual acquaintances that I'd like to be on X or Y, with the idea that when the time comes to nominate people for X or Y, my name will come up. I guess this is a bit of campaigning. The old me would have cringed at the thought of campaigning like this---how crass! The new me realizes that the squeaky wheel gets the opportunities, so I'd better start, um, squeaking.

3. I am embarrassingly not modest about my work. Damn, I think my work rocks right now! Seriously, though, I'm in a really good and interesting place in my research, on the verge of lots of little things coming together to perhaps be Something Big (or at least Something Extremely Interesting). And I'm not afraid to brag a bit. Plus I've found that by talking up my work, I'm more motivated about my work. Go figure.

4. I'm not as good in the home realm as I have been at work, but again, I'm taking baby steps here. I am at least recognizing the need to take up more space in my personal life---which, for me, for now, means actually taking time for myself. What usually happens is that I need to do some work on a weekend, but I'd also like to do something for myself too, but I feel bad about asking Mr. Jane to take care of Baby Jane for the time it would take to do both---so I usually choose one or the other, and usually I choose work. Clearly this is dumb. So, I'm working on this. And Mr. Jane is really supportive. I did this successfully this weekend---woo hoo! Like I said, baby steps.

So I'm not perfect, but I'm working on it. I do find it interesting that I have an easier time taking up space at work than I do at home---and I have to say that this is totally a recent thing, that started when Baby Jane arrived. Is this the motherhood martyrdom culture thing coming out, my own insecurities, or something else?

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