Weekend Diversion: Zombie Jesus

Posted by Ethan on April 10, 2009
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What better way to celebrate Easter weekend than with an old spiritual song about the birth of Jesus? This is the gospel song Last Month of The Year — an old Southern American Spiritual — sung and arranged by Jackson C. Frank. This is my favorite version of the song by far, as I really like its simplicity and the minor tones to go along with it. Take a listen:

alt : Last Month of the Year.wav
Well, Good Friday is when he died, and then we have the following Bible Quotes to go off of to figure out what came next:

Acts 2:24 — But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him

John 6:53 — Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you”

I think the conclusions are pretty clear, because I’ve seen enough documentaries to know what comes next.

Image credit: whereismyeyeball.com.

Well, you know the drill. Hide the eggs, eat your chocolate bunnies, and if you really want to keep Zombie Jesus away, put some lamb’s blood on your doorway so he knows to… uhh… pass over your house?

And yes, I almost put this in the “Brains and Behavior” category here on scienceblogs…

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Comments

  1. #1 andyb
    April 11, 2009

    Hey, nice post!

    Gonna compete with PZ, see how many abusive emails you can get from the faithful?

  2. #2 Flea
    April 11, 2009

    Yes, This was good!

  3. #3 mathyoo
    April 11, 2009

    This is one of my favorites:

    http://i4.tinypic.com/7xskuhj.jpg

  4. #4 Isis the Scientist
    April 11, 2009

    How fucking original of you.

  5. #5 Jenny T
    April 11, 2009

    What is your problem Isis? Can’t take any good natured jokes? Or are you just so sensitive because you realize you are a cannibal every time you take mass?

    Seriously, get a sense of humor and perspective, it was just a joke…

  6. #6 Greta Bluenose
    April 11, 2009

    You don’t want to avoid Zombie Jesus, you want to embrace him and let him spread the spirit of the-holiday-formerly-known-as-Easter:

    http://www.zombiejesusday.org

  7. #7 Ethan Siegel
    April 11, 2009

    Andy,

    I think zombies are tremendously amusing. I think that the idea of hiding the eggs because Zombie Jesus is coming is infinitely hilarious.

    Flea & Mathyoo,

    Glad you liked it!

    Isis,

    I assume you mean Jackson Frank’s version of the song. I agree that it’s extremely original to give such a heavy folk arrangement to a traditional negro spiritual.

    Jenny,

    Thanks for having my back.

    Greta,

    I disagree. I like my brainssssss.

  8. #8 Brian Shiro
    April 12, 2009

    Very amusing and gutsy post.

  9. #9 Josh(the satirist)
    April 12, 2009

    Ethan,

    Shame on you for mocking a religion like this on their holiest of days. While these people are dressing in their finest and attending church to pray to their god and put money in the collection plate so that the bums outside can have a nicely renovated building filled with gold decorations across from which to sit in the cold and rain and make cute remarks about the ironies of life, you tap away at your computer and mock the fact that they believe people can come back from the dead and that they have been eating a risen-man’s flesh for the past couple of thousand years. Clearly, these people have mental health issues, and it isn’t nice to mock the handicapped.

    But, what’s worse, you do so by bringing up zombies.

    Sure, the cartoons were hilarious. Sure, I’d never connected the ideas of jesus and zombies, and yes there are some funny parallels.

    But, I hate zombies. I know, I know, you’ll try to convince me they can’t really exist, yadda yadda yadda. PZ had a post about it a few days ago, but I didn’t buy it from him, and I won’t buy it from you. The way I see it, if x-ians can really believe in their myths, then zombies must be real too, and they scare the bejezus out of me (or would, if I had any bejezus in me).

    I don’t care what you might say on your blog about christians (as long as it debases their religion and is funny), but zombies aren’t a joking matter. They’re scary. Seriously. Especially the ones in ’28 Days Later’.

    If my appeals to the goodness of your human nature have failed, I want you to consider this little logic problem: Since you can’t see into the future, you can’t know that zombies won’t at some point in the future attack, so what is there to lose by not bringing them up when you mock the hypocrisies of established religions? (*hint: the answer is nothing)

    I will say that I am glad for one thing that’s come from this blog, though. When the zombies do attack, at least now I’ll know the name of their leader. He’ll be the bearded hispanic named jesus.

    /end satirical rant

    hope you had a great Sunday.

  10. #10 sean hogge
    April 13, 2009

    Does no one else see the irony of a zombie Jesus craving brains while the only people willing to allow him close enough to strike are Christians? Zombus Christo done screwed himself out of supper. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

  11. #11 rob
    April 13, 2009

    i have my zombie plan, but i’m not gonna tell anyone…

  12. #12 Mike
    November 28, 2011

    Please don´t make humor with Jesus.

  13. #13 Defender
    January 22, 2013

    You know what? He didn’t act like that when he rose from the dead! He had full senses! He wasn’t a ZOMBIE! You JERK!

    When you die and appear before God, you’re gonna be in serious trouble! People have mocked the existence of Hell, they die soon after, and appear to a friend in hideous forms.

    You may want to ponder the fact that heaven and hell DO exist, and that Jesus is king of heaven, so if you want to go there, you might want to take down this blog NOW!

  14. #14 Wow
    January 22, 2013

    “He had full senses! He wasn’t a ZOMBIE! You JERK!”

    Many zombies have full senses, you insensitive clod!

    Look, the zombie jesus is as real as the one you believe in.

    I.e. nonexistent.

    Live with it.