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Weekend Diversion: Zombie Jesus

Category: Random Stuff
Posted on: April 10, 2009 11:46 PM, by Ethan Siegel

What better way to celebrate Easter weekend than with an old spiritual song about the birth of Jesus? This is the gospel song Last Month of The Year -- an old Southern American Spiritual -- sung and arranged by Jackson C. Frank. This is my favorite version of the song by far, as I really like its simplicity and the minor tones to go along with it. Take a listen:

alt : Last Month of the Year.wav

Well, Good Friday is when he died, and then we have the following Bible Quotes to go off of to figure out what came next:

Acts 2:24 -- But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him

Zombie_Jesus_need_brains.png

John 6:53 -- Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you"
I think the conclusions are pretty clear, because I've seen enough documentaries to know what comes next.

ZombieJesus.jpg

(Image credit: http://whereismyeyeball.com/.)

Well, you know the drill. Hide the eggs, eat your chocolate bunnies, and if you really want to keep Zombie Jesus away, put some lamb's blood on your doorway so he knows to... uhh... pass over your house?

And yes, I almost put this in the "Brains and Behavior" category here on scienceblogs...

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Comments

1

Hey, nice post!

Gonna compete with PZ, see how many abusive emails you can get from the faithful?

Posted by: andyb | April 11, 2009 1:29 AM

2

Yes, This was good!

Posted by: Flea | April 11, 2009 11:27 AM

3

This is one of my favorites:

http://i4.tinypic.com/7xskuhj.jpg

Posted by: mathyoo | April 11, 2009 3:19 PM

4

How fucking original of you.

Posted by: Isis the Scientist | April 11, 2009 3:51 PM

5

What is your problem Isis? Can't take any good natured jokes? Or are you just so sensitive because you realize you are a cannibal every time you take mass?

Seriously, get a sense of humor and perspective, it was just a joke...

Posted by: Jenny T Author Profile Page | April 11, 2009 9:45 PM

6

You don't want to avoid Zombie Jesus, you want to embrace him and let him spread the spirit of the-holiday-formerly-known-as-Easter:

http://www.zombiejesusday.org

Posted by: Greta Bluenose | April 11, 2009 9:48 PM

7

Andy,

I think zombies are tremendously amusing. I think that the idea of hiding the eggs because Zombie Jesus is coming is infinitely hilarious.

Flea & Mathyoo,

Glad you liked it!

Isis,

I assume you mean Jackson Frank's version of the song. I agree that it's extremely original to give such a heavy folk arrangement to a traditional negro spiritual.

Jenny,

Thanks for having my back.

Greta,

I disagree. I like my brainssssss.

Posted by: Ethan Siegel | April 11, 2009 11:04 PM

8

Very amusing and gutsy post.

Posted by: Brian Shiro | April 12, 2009 12:29 AM

9

Ethan,

Shame on you for mocking a religion like this on their holiest of days. While these people are dressing in their finest and attending church to pray to their god and put money in the collection plate so that the bums outside can have a nicely renovated building filled with gold decorations across from which to sit in the cold and rain and make cute remarks about the ironies of life, you tap away at your computer and mock the fact that they believe people can come back from the dead and that they have been eating a risen-man's flesh for the past couple of thousand years. Clearly, these people have mental health issues, and it isn't nice to mock the handicapped.

But, what's worse, you do so by bringing up zombies.

Sure, the cartoons were hilarious. Sure, I'd never connected the ideas of jesus and zombies, and yes there are some funny parallels.

But, I hate zombies. I know, I know, you'll try to convince me they can't really exist, yadda yadda yadda. PZ had a post about it a few days ago, but I didn't buy it from him, and I won't buy it from you. The way I see it, if x-ians can really believe in their myths, then zombies must be real too, and they scare the bejezus out of me (or would, if I had any bejezus in me).

I don't care what you might say on your blog about christians (as long as it debases their religion and is funny), but zombies aren't a joking matter. They're scary. Seriously. Especially the ones in '28 Days Later'.

If my appeals to the goodness of your human nature have failed, I want you to consider this little logic problem: Since you can't see into the future, you can't know that zombies won't at some point in the future attack, so what is there to lose by not bringing them up when you mock the hypocrisies of established religions? (*hint: the answer is nothing)

I will say that I am glad for one thing that's come from this blog, though. When the zombies do attack, at least now I'll know the name of their leader. He'll be the bearded hispanic named jesus.

/end satirical rant

hope you had a great Sunday.

Posted by: Josh(the satirist) | April 12, 2009 5:20 PM

10

Does no one else see the irony of a zombie Jesus craving brains while the only people willing to allow him close enough to strike are Christians? Zombus Christo done screwed himself out of supper. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

Posted by: sean hogge | April 13, 2009 7:13 AM

11

i have my zombie plan, but i'm not gonna tell anyone...

Posted by: rob | April 13, 2009 1:44 PM

12

Please don´t make humor with Jesus.

Posted by: Mike | November 28, 2011 10:04 PM

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