Weekend Diversion: Unsolicited Life Advice

Dear Dr. Siegel,

I have investigated your Einstein quotation, which seems to appeal to many spiritually minded readers, but I cannot find the actual source.

I have read a lot of Einstein's writing, but I doubt the quotation's authenticity. It could be genuine, I just doubt it.

I fully intend on taking your advice. My truck is loaded up with some fishing gear, my wok, a tent, as well as my reflector scope. The mountains are calling my name, and the fish are trembling in their scales.

Insurgent scum! The Loyalists will destroy you and your band of fairy men! Conform damn you!

Two Spoons

ps - I think I'm cooked in the Summer game, but Winter looks good for me so far:) Just thought I would reach out to you here just to give your star-gazing egghead friends a glimpse into your alternate reality (and no, damn it, I don't want some speech about dimensional shifts or quarks or dark matter or whatever the hell else you science geeks talk about). For the un-initiated, our friend Ethan has a serious chess addiction, bordering on obsession. I am his alter ego, and am much better looking. Why not write something about the Royal Game? There must be some correlation to something cosmic in there somewhere;)

Chess joke of the day:

Once during an international tournament, in which the most illustrious players in the world were participating, a strange looking fellow introduced himself to the great Cuban, who was no doubt expecting another plea for an autograph, and told him that he had solved chess. You can imagine the look on Capablanca's face who immediately began to turn away just in case the man wasn't just crazy, but violent as well. Still, the strange insistent man then pulled a thousand dollars from his pocket and told Capablanca it would be his if he could avoid being mated in twelve moves. Well, crazy or not, a thousand dollars is a thousand dollars, so he accepted and obligingly followed the man to his room.

The game started simply enough, but after a couple of strange moves, as soon as move eight, the position began to look menacing, and to his absolute shock, Capablanca saw his King being mated on the twelfth move. His eyes were bulging, he couldn't believe it, and he insisted that they start over. This time he tried a completely different opening, one that could never lead to that same position, but just as before, after a few strange moves, with no possible counter, he found himself checkmated again. Something was wrong, he must have made some very obvious mistake, but he couldn't see where, so he told the fellow to wait, and 20 minutes later he came back with both Lasker, and Alekhine. Lasker seemed dubious about the whole idea before the game began, and played a slow and very defensive opening, yet twelve moves later, in front of an equally incredulous Alekhine, he too saw his King surrounded.

"It was terrible, and embarrassing", Capablanca told his friend, but no matter what opening they tried, no matter what they did, they were always checkmated after twelve moves. What were they going to do? They were the best in the world and yet now it was all over: chess had been solved.

"But I never heard that chess was solved. What did you do? What happened?" his friend asked.

"Why we killed him, of course."